Just wanted to touch up on some thingies
I feel like you've made some very good points, and hope that the response you get from me is more satisfactory than ImpSnob's XD
[quote]The following questions is relating to your relationship prior to telling her that you like her.
1. Did you talk to her all the time?
2. Did you flirt with her? Touch her(not in any inappropriate way)to where you established a natural connection?
3. Did you, in any shape or form, decide to play it safe and not engage in anything that goes beyond the male-female friendship? This is important.[/quote]
This is very important. Most guys go into a relationship with a girl (Which you touch up on later) thinking "If I'm friendly with her, she'll like me!"
No.
No no no. If you're friendly with us, we'll be friends with you.
[quote]
I will say a few things and it may sting or not, but its a lesson I wished I learned before I decided to shape up.
There are many factors to why you’re put in this situation, but the most common reason is that maybe you didn’t move fast enough when you first saw her: I'm not saying to grab her and demand that she follow you to the bedroom.
Telling her your intent when you first interact can determine whether you’re going to be a potential “friend” or "romantic” interest. An example of this can be as simple as telling her that she is cute, sexy, etc. She looks good in some clothes. Etc.[/quote]
THIS.
I had a guy friend who, for two years, liked me. he had a crush on me, and I had no idea. Not for sheer lack of a romantic radar, mind you, but because he
never said anything.Most people won't be like "Oh, this guy is nice, he likes me!"
Most, lol.
When I left highschool, I had guys and girls tell me they liked me for the entirety of my stint at the school. People who never flirted, who said "I"m here if you need a friend," or Just plain never talked to me.
[quote]
Also, another big reason you could be in this hell of a zone is because of societies’ brainwashed theory that you have to be “friends first” before you can start anything with the girl. This mentality is stupid and I must say, retarded.[/quote]
I feel like when someone says "Let's be friends first," they're really saying "I'm putting off telling you I don't like you."
Romantic interest CAN pop up after time, and sometimes it's not discovered until later. However, it's not a thing that can happen often.
[quote]
There are a bunch of apes out there who think you must start the relationship before the relationship. As in, you have to first before becoming lovers. We have to understand that most girls hate this mentality because it does three of the following which may apply:
1. Girls don’t like guys who don’t know what they want. They like guys who are assertive, who lead, who are strong-willed. So, confessing to her is essentially showing that you’re flip-flopper. And, being indecisive isn’t an attractive trait.[/quote]
It really isn't. I hate indecisiveness.
[quote]
2. She can see it as a betrayal of friendship when a guy finally confesses to a girl friend that he “likes her.” Do you know how many times it's been said “You just wanted to be my friend so you could get into my pants?” She trusted you, she confided in you, she invested so much of her time to help you as a friend, and your confession means she wasted portions of her life she’ll never be able to take back. Why? because you’re essentially telling her that you’re a liar and a scammer. Ouch. [/quote
This. This whole paragraph is what I've been trying to instill into my guy friends. Women are NOT machines that you put "Nice" token s into and expect a relationship or sex to pop out. We do not owe you
anything for being nice. You do not deserve an award for being a good friend unless the girl is
absolutely unbearable and you're making your own life miserable to save another human being from ever having to put up with her, and if that's the case, I commend you, sir.
There is a guy at work who liked me. he was sweet, nice, gave me hugs every day, even comforted me shortly when I was upset. As soon as it came up that he liked me, and I didn't like him back, it all stopped. He won't even speak to me except in grunts. I can imagine he's disappointed I don't share the same feelings, but to put all of that effort into making me think he was genuinely someone I could consider a friend, I feel very hurt, and upset, and betrayed. Like all he wanted from me was sex. Like I'm nothing more than something for him to use to get off.
Luckily the friendship didn't last too long, just a few months.
[quote]
3. You’re perceived as weak because you don’t have the confidence to pick up other girls. She’ll see your confession, that you like her, as a last desperation of hope that you want a girl in your life. And, as points #1 and #2 tell you, girls don’t like desperate and needy guys.[/quote]
Ehhhhh.... Not sure how to elaborate on this, but I wouldn't perceive it as absolute fact. I for one don't think (Unless I'm very depressed at the moment) that any friend going after me is desperate. Unless I've seen them pursue several others and can't get anyone.
[quote]
4. She has absolutely no attraction to you whatsoever and does consider you as a friend, and nothing more due to the lack of seduction/attraction and all that relates to these qualities.[/quote]
It happens. Sometimes we
just don't like you like that. Shocking revelation, hmm?
[quote]
How to Turn a Friend into a Lover! A Darkness Eternal Special!
You have tell her what you want. However, it comes with a few things in mind:
1. You have to show her portions of you she hasn’t seen before. No, I'm not saying exposing yourself (just yet). I’m talking about showing the personality and life changes you’ve made recently. An example would be showing her that you’re more confident and assertive (after the conversation you two had). Or, a new wardrobe; just make sure to show her something you haven’t shown, of yourself, to her yet.
Right now the current traits she sees in you equates as friend traits. Showing her something different can make her believe that these new traits are lover traits. Again, this stems from learning a new skill (like guitar) to showing her your long lost brother that you found a few days ago.
SHOW HER SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT YOURSELF.[/quote]
This is actually a pretty effective idea. Showing someone something new that isn't really common knowledge makes the relationship more intimate, and is a pretty nice way of setting the groundwork for becoming more than buds.
[quote]
2. You have to come into the mindset that she’s either a Lover or Nothing More. I repeat, LOVER or NOTHING MORE. Listen, you confessed you liked her because you just don’t want to be her friend, so if she rejects you, why continue to be her friend? You’ll just be lying to her and yourself that you’re okay with the current terms of your relationship. However, if you do become lovers and it doesn’t work out, there is a greater chance that you can stay ‘just friends.’
This is one of the hardest points to internalize. Many men don’t have the stones to walk away from the friendship after their girl friend rejects their proposal to become something more. This option can be scary but your time on earth is limited – you have to take the chance to walk away if she says no.[/quote]
Now hang on, doesn't this go into the "You only wanted me to get into my pants!" paragraph?
It's true, though. setting the tone at the beginning is very important. sometimes it's best to cut your losses and move on-this isn't Hollywood. You don't get the girl just because you try hard. You get the girl because she wants you too.
[quote]
3. Once you have points #1 and #2 engrained in your system, you have to now find the time to tell her how you feel. You don’t have to dress up in a bow tie or go on some special date (this isn’t a friggin' reality show). All you have to do is find time alone where you can tell or show her your intent.
Examples:
“I don’t want to be your friend because I want something more. Why? Cause I think you’re sexy, I like the way you talk about monkeys, I like how you bite your toenails… I want to take you out on a real date where there is a chance we’ll have something more.'
Basically, you have to make an emphasis on the flirtatious part. Isn’t this is why you wanted to be more than just friends? You already know her, you already like her, so it’s now about developing the flirtatious and the "S" word(goodness, the mods laws on this forum is killing me) side of things. I can’t hold your hand and place it on her face, then grab your lips with her lips and smash them together… I’m not Master of the Universe, I can’t move you like a puppet.[/quote]
Set the bar, basically. Set the tone for the relationship.
That's far better than how I deal with rejection.
A game I already have but this one comes with the box and manual. Can easily sell the excess game later! 
