Hell froze over today and relocated to Mediana municipality, Nis. Although it was -15 Celsius outside, I managed to start up the car somehow [I still don't know how I did it] and drive to work. There, we worked on stocktaking until 18:00, but it was relaxed and we took many coffeebreaks. And boy, those guys make 200% stronger coffee. <3

Trey, I am glad you shook off the block. I'm curious about your main character: what kind of tics does he have? How does he wash hands, slowly and deliberately or quickly, nervously rubbing them against each other? Does he chew nails? When he is sitting down & waiting for someone/something, does he tap fingers against the table? I have loads of questions, in case you need them.

The whole thing with my ex is: he didn't used to be like this. For about a year or so he was fine, then he turned into a real boat. He blames it all on me, of course. He wonders why I'm not the same person I used to be, no longer fun or interesting. Huh. I could have sworn that was him cramping it. I don't talk to him much nowadays. I might IM him but we don't really have any conversations. It's just hard to talk to someone who used to be so nice, good to talk to, and funny. Yeah, he was temperamental back then, but the times he'd get that way he'd apologize for it.

Nowadays, his little temper tantrums come about more often and they're worse. He'll take out things not even related to me on me because I'm a convenient target.

I only stick around because I'm hoping his narcissism and jackassism will change.... *sigh*. I'm beginning to think that'll never happen.

I think it's his parents fault for making him so narcissistic. His sister is so spoiled and tons more well liked than him. I guess that has drawn him into a shell of insecurity and made it impossible to realize it's mostly his fault everything around him seems to go to crap.

Plus, the way his father has raised him makes him think he can solve everything by yelling and getting overly pissed off.

It's just hard to me to be the same person I am around other people with him. He doesn't seem to realize that he emits a little aura that just makes the whole atmosphere seem oppressive. I wish it wasn't like that, but I can't control the way he acts. I wish I could though.

Hah, geeks and nerds don't necessarily make better boyfriends. Sometimes, as my ex has demonstrated, they can be absolute [censored]s.

Times like this make me wish I didn't love him, but unfortunately I do. I love him the way he was, not the way he is today.

Everytime I call someone a narcissist at school I have to explain the definition to them; in hindsight it's comical in a way. They end up asking me because hardly anyone else paid enough attention in last year's English (in which we skimmed over Greek mythology) class.

School gone well enough so far, not quite the typical shock of coming back from a long break.

~ Lord Revan

That's why person always, ALWAYS has to question own actions and judgment first, even if it's done covertly [to preserve the outside appearance of confidence]. If we do that, we'd be less inclined to drop our extra baggage and problems on other people, especially ones we care for.

And that's good. For the sake of being at least friends in the future, peace should be achieved between you two. You should remember all the BS, like Trey advised, but do not forget the good times either. Life is a cup of gall and honey, after all [hey, it was a Montenegrin duke who said it, I don't come up with these wisecracks!]

Lurking more?


Anyhow, this post will be updated in several hours, when we [hopefully] finish working. It's still freezing outside, but I'm prepared better now.

It's even harder to explain that narcissism isn't actually the overwhelming love of oneself. It's quite the opposite. The narcissist has such low self-esteem, such low confidence, they are incredibly short-sighted and unempathetic with other people, making them appear arrogant when they are simply very selfish and self-serving. They have a tendency to blame other people for their problems, and draw into themselves when the fire is on them. It's rather normal for teenagers to be narcissist, but the problem is when it lingers into adulthood.

On tonight's menu- mini-pizzas. For those who prefer a (very) thin crust, use flour tortillas, add sauce (store-bought or roll-your-own), mozarella, and pepperonis. Oh boy.

Hope everyone is having a relatively non-crappy day. (Low expectations? Whatever do you mean?)

I definitely had a non-crappy day (though the weather actually was kinda crappy). I didn't get out of bed until 2:30pm. Then I went to the big music store downtown and used my Xmas gift cards and bought a bunch of CDs. I have a feeling most of my night now will be spent listening to them.

I might do some writing while I'm at it...

13 hours of work, roughly, in conditions similar to yesterday's. That means, lots of easy but prolonged paperwork, cold in mornings and evenings. I'm tired, but I am happy that I get monday off [it's Eastern Orthodox Christmas ]. Yay for sleep!

And we did the inventory census, finally. I am content.

Oh dear....packing bags am I...gah...I´m going south on monday for another six weeks in Barsebäck, another decon-campaign. But it´s gonna be fun to meet the germans again and my boys are eager to work as usual. But the packing is really hard work, as a woman I naturally have to pack the entire wardrobe and stuff! Then shoes....oh you name it, I´ve got it in my bags

Winter has come to sweden, snow-storm outside! The kitty, Mr Bolzmann is very annoyed, no nice weather outside, no matter which door he choose...hehe

My mom has said you're one active woman to be traveling so often (complimentary, you both are around the same age). And no, I'm not as old as you're daughters....... I'm almost old enough to drive. btw, my cousin finally got his license, no, he's old enough to vote by two years, he just hadn't gotten around to taking that driver's test and getting a license until now.

I saw National Treasure II yesterday; it was pretty awesome. Great music, had the theme sprinkled in here and there. For those who liked the first this is a must-see!

I like love-venting here. Its the only reason I've visited this site recently but everyone here seems to give good advice in that area.

That girl at work I keep talking about, I'm teaching her how to snowboard tomorrow. Honestly, she had me confused but now everything is clear the day before we get to hang out for the first time outside work. The thing is, I just wasn't picking up any signs that she liked me as more than a friend, but as it turns out, she just doesn't like white guys. It's a relief, because now I know I can be more forward without it being too awkward because its not like I'm barking up the wrong tree, I just need to convince her there's at least one gringo worth making an exception for.

Oh man, tonight is going to be weird. Mainly because I thought it was the morning!

I went to sleep at 5am, I'm a college student so that's actually normal, and usually I wake up around 2pm or 3pm. Well today I woke up at 6pm and noticing that it was dark out, I thought it was 6 in the morning so I went back to sleep.

Then around 7pm, my land order comes in to look at our bathroom fan and furnace. I was kinda annoyed by this because I was thinking it's 7 in the morning, why would they be here so early! Once they leave, I try to go back to sleep, and by then it's like 8pm. I then look out my window and think, "it's awfully dark for 8 in the morning". I then look carefully at my alarm clock and notice that the PM light is on! I just groan and wonder how the hell am I going to go to sleep tonight.

Wow you sound like a marathon sleeper like me, TMM. When I've really done exhausting work for a few days, I can really just spend the whole next day practically in bed. Specially if I don't have any good games or movies going. Specially in the winter.

Life is so freaking unfair you know. It would seem it won't be pleased until it's gotten another good laugh at my expense.

I really don't get that, how can someone say they like you one day, and then dislike you the next, for no apparent reason, when nothing special happened between those two two days. I really don't get that.

it is so frustrating when people whom you don't see face to face with, abuse a position of some influence to spread lies about you, lies that make your life in a certain place miserable for all eternity it would seem. And then the worst thing about it, is knowing they're doing it, and not being able to do anything about it. Even now years later I wonder if it might not have been better then to simply throw in the towel and find a different hobby.

Ah well, I guess life was once again just playing a stupid joke on me, first setting me up, getting some hopes up and then knocking me right back down. Goody.

Well, so much for the rant I guess. Life goes on doesn't it? Usually anyway.



On a more positive note, I've started writing again, and this time unlike last time, I'm actually moderately pleased with the work. Not sure when I'm going to start posting it, but I do intend to start posting some chapters in a week, or perhaps a few weeks, depending on how long it will take me to finish things.

Alex, sorry to hear your day was a PoS too. I just hope that person who is spreading slander about you isn't influencing anyone relevant [i.e., people at work, school] with lies about you. If it's someone/something insignificant, just turn back and don't look back.


My day at work was a fiasco. We did nearly nothing. The new software we got yesterday is crap and all our shipments from 2 days are now on hold, until all the bugs aren't expelled from the program. In the meantime, work hours are from 7AM to 5[6]PM. I could curse, I could cry, I could drink more caffeine, it'll be same in the end. The worst thing is, me and all my colleagues know it was not our fault, but we can't do anything about the fact our redneck bosses decided to implement buggy, untested program right after holidays, in the midst of greatest affray.

I can only cross fingers and hope whoever designed that crap-software repairs it today/tomorrow, so we could get moving & deliver the goods to our partners.

Oh my..yeah I'm sort od active if you may say so....but I feel kinda awkward about the fact that I'm at the same age as my friends' parents!! Hmmmm....am I the one that's weird or????

Anyway I don't care....I do not feel at all as old as I am, that's for sure!



Alex!!!! Long time no see! At least in our forums... Nice to have yo back, but I'm getting angry when I hear about ppl treating you bad! MY Alex? That is outrageous, you're one of the sweetest persons I know. I do hope you don't let it come to you, because you know you are most loved and appreciated by us here at Chorrol, and you know I once told you you're kind of young man I'd like to see marrying my daughter! I still mean it!

Be strong Alex! You know who you are and where you wanna go! I'm behind you, remember that!

How nice to hear you started writing again! I've been suffering from WB, but now I see the light in the tunnel and I'm working on my story again...


Mil! I'm sorry to hear you had a bad day...now let's hope it was just one day! I'll certainly keep my fingers crossed that it will turn out ok!

Be awfully well all you guys out there! Minkey is thinking of you...every day!

Thanks for the support Mil, It is appreciated.

I do hope your system is fixed soon, having to work against stress can be annoying, not to mention having to catch up for something not your fault. Keeping my fingers crossed for you there.


Apropos, not sure if you've seen yet, but I added your requested new emoticon




And thanks Minque, yeah I've actually only written for 4 days or so on this tale, but things moved pretty fast. I'm already at around 55 pages, 40 of which have been sent to Trey who is again helping me with editing and proofreading and such. I'm looking forward to hearing what he thinks about it, hope he likes it

Alex- I also know what a fine person you are- going back further than I care to recall. Anyone who is giving you grief has to have major problems..... And definitely WILL have major problems if I ever find them!

Mil- That is a pain. I suffered through it more than once in a library job, where we were the guinea pigs for new software. Just hang in there and realize you could also be working with people you don't like....

So- it was my last day at the job I have enjoyed for 2 years. Hard to leave, but we were busy and the time went quickly. I actually have to go back later this week to finish checking out. But- I will be going to a job that I think I will find challenging and enjoyable.

I managed to give myself a few free days between jobs, so I will be doing some reading and editing for a couple of my favorite forum folk. And if I am fortunate, I will also do some writing myself.

It's happening again: my avatar icon piccy thingie is being resized larger. Feh.

Dear people-who-run-the-forum, please stop scaling my icon up. Sincerely, blockhead.

Heh, if only it were that simple Treydog. But thank you for those kind words





I can't vouch for all of the admins here, but I can promise you I'm innocent.

Perhaps you'd care to send me a pm with the details of what's been happening to your avatar and I will take a look at it to see if we can't sort it out

Blargh! It seems that everyone has been having off days. Same goes for me unfortunately. Today I found out at work that I'm not allowed to bring in my stereo to work and play my own music anymore. It took awile to get a reason why and when I did I wasn't that impressed.

I guess a couple of days ago, one of the owners was in (and neither of them are around that much) and he was on the phone. At the time, this was probably my second day of playing my music there and I had yet to get any complaints with the volume of the stereo. I guess the volume was too loud for him so he was forced to close the door in order to finish his call. I remember him telling me to turn it down that night (probably after he finished his call now that I think about it) and so I did. I didn't have any other problems that night. Yet now, a few days later I'm told I can't use it anymore.

No warnings, no threats, just completely cut off. I find it unfair that someone who isn't even there all that often can do that when I make one mistake. I'm the type of person that will make sure I don't make the same mistake. And if I manage to convince them to change their mind, I'll also make sure that my fellow employees don't crank up the volume like they've done.

Ok, rant over. Now I need to formulate a cunning way to change their minds when I bring it up on the meeting Saturday.

Perhaps convince them that you're far more productive listening to music of your choosing then no music at all. I know I often am



And some reading materials;
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&ct=res&...63DWHyPQKapVguA
http://raibledesigns.com/rd/entry/tips_for...y_and_happiness
http://www.usc.edu/CSSF/Current/Projects/27011.pdf
etc;
http://www.google.com/search?source=ig&...G=Google+Search

Thanks for those links. I'll definitely try to fit that into my argument.

I actually had a pretty good day. Slept in, got some needed maintenance done on my car, got some groceries, watched basketball and Mythbusters, played Oblivion. I seem to be staying up all night for no reason, but as I'm between jobs and not in school right now, that's OK. Might go running in a couple hours. Or I might go to sleep now and save the running for the afternoon. Anyways, no complaints aside from the "nobody has offered me the Park Service jobs I want yet" issue.

My pleasure, and good luck with it

I got back from firm some 30 minutes ago. back-breaking, it wasn't much as nerve-breaking. There was some hard-core yelling and door slamming earlier between other two colleagues, but that settled down a bit later, due to work. That's how we are, hot-headed until crap hits the fan I brought back home some pizza leftovers so karma is at positive zero.

And, the good news that software is working a bit better today, due to help we got from storage manager from the HQ. We're still swamped with orders, but it'll settle down soon. As for the program - I don't wanna jinx it though, so I'll just keep thinking positive thoughts.

Is it just me, or does it seem like the only type of activity that doesn't end in suffering is the act of helping people?

I'm serious, don't get what you want, you suffer; get what you don't want, suffer; even if you get what you want nothing lasts for ever and you bloody suffer! But if you don't go for what you want, but instead go for what somebody else needs, then there' no suffering, no expectations. You get to enjoy the good feeling that comes along with helping someone. I swear I am happier breaking my back for someone in need for house on end than I am relaxing and getting stoned. Granted, I can't smoke because my job drug tests. And I suffer urges all day long.

I am so hamster cave pissed off at my academic team, I'm considering quitting.

@#*$#(*$% #@$*(# #%(%* mime @(#*!() @#( #$*(@ !@#$ !@#$%ing !@@$#nut @%$ bucket!

Doomie, you are totally right. That lush warm unexpected feeling that washes over you when you know that you've really helped someone - no matter what you've done - is really what life is worth living for. Imagine if you could maintain that warm feeling for your whole life. Of course you probably wouldn't appreciate it or even notice it then because you'd have nothing else to compare it to. But it is something that no one can take away and I do believe you grow most during those warm aftermaths to a good deed; or at least your soul does. Keep it up .. your that kind of person anyway.

I've been so stressed out. I have to fill out FAFSA stuff, and that's been stressing me out a little.

My family has also stressed me out. Getting worse and worse.

At least I got my grades for last semester today. All A's, except for Calculus, which I have a B in.

I've read this briefly in the morning, when I was in a hurry and didn't get to post. Apologies, dear, here is what I wanted to give you 8 hours ago:



[thank you Alex, now all we need is a smooch smilie] ->
~ Alexander


Anyhow. A slow day today in work for a change, which was quite nice. I hope it gets to be this slow during the entire post-holiday period.

Oh, HELL YEAH man that one is for you Alex, you made my day!

I'll be in Houston this weekend, so no updates to Revan or Uprising.

And I'll be back in Kitchener to watch UFC 80 at my friend's place. I'm also going to see a friend I haven't seen in like 3 years. I also had a crush on them, and she's single... and it was her that instigated the reconnecting with each other... Hmmm is this some sort of sign?

Sorry, not trying to preacch here, just noticing how your statement coincides with buddhism quite well. Perhaps your realization fits in with this philosophy.

http://www.thebigview.com/buddhism/fourtruths.html


The Four Noble Truths

1. Life means suffering.

2. The origin of suffering is attachment. (Desire, as I learned it.)

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

Yeah, but I used to just agree with that because Buddha predicted so much truth about the universe it took scientists thousands of years to figure out. Now, life itself has proved that to me.

Been sick for almost a week now with a cold. It's worse now that my sinuses are draining into my stomach.

My abdomenal muscles are also way sore because I excersized for about twenty minutes Saturday. Makes coughing, laughing, amd moving generally painful.

Sorry to hear you're feeling lousy Zarr, I hope you get better soon!





I'm pretty happy, I finished the first draft of my story.

I figure about 90% of my work is done now, I do want to make a few adjustments and rewrite small bits before it goes up on the forums and such, but I've no doubt that will be easy.

Feels good though, so far every story I started working on, I did not finish, but now finally a finished tale.

For the first part of the post you get tea, and , for the second... a slap on the back of the head? Why exercise while being ill?? I don't exercise even when I'm healthy.

I wouldn't want to talk about yesterday, let's just say it is all in my head and no one is to blame, really. Makes me want to be devoted Buddhist and strive to have no desires.

All this compassion for FAFSA and it says I'm probably not eligable for a Pell Grant when my hamster cave family has 5 people in it, my mom barely makes minimum wage, and my dad makes 45000 a year.

Looks like a lot on paper, but in reality we're dirt poor.

aye, it might seem like loads of money, but where you're at everything is way more expensive. I always shudder whenever I think about 900$ rent that my sister pays in Toronto... bloodsucking bastards.



Yep, seems Republicans did it again, just like Britney.

edit:
http://print.disabilitybenefits101.org/ca/...faqs.htm#_q1516
"Pell Grants are based on financial need not disability status. However, if you have special circumstances that impact your ability to contribute to your education, such as needing significant medical expenses, you may wish to check with your financial aid office to inquire whether adjustments can be made to your financial aid package. Disability related expenses can be used to increase your financial aid award."

Hm. Hypoglycemia, allergies and asthma... can you use your health problems, combined with academic performance so far, somehow to your advantage?

If my memory serves me well scolarships here were granted to exceptional students regardless of their family income status - although, there were also state fundings for those who were excellent/very good students and came from poor families or were orphans.

In any case, don't give up on this until it's over. Be like a righteous, tiny, bloodthirsty pit-bull and fight for your right. [$$]

I'm on a roll! Been rejected for two jobs today and I haven't even eaten lunch yet!

Yay! I can't wait til it gets up on the forums! Well done dear Alex!


Awww, poor Canis, I'm so sorry for you. I'll give you a big hug to make you feel better!

Thanks to that mental giant, Milanius, I'll have to get a job or take out some loans myself.

I'm in a family of five, my dad drives about an hour to Norman and an hour back a day, my mom BARELY makes more than minimum wage.... shall I go on? I think I'll call OSU and explain to them my circumstances.

I was told that I should move out after I graduate so I can qualify for the Pell Grant.

It's a good idea, too. Have to find someone to room with or something though. I'll be independent, but I doubt I'll make enough money to be in the danger zone of no funding.

Ehh, hey. It's just me here. I'd be thankful if someone could help me with this question of mine.

Well, it's a rather silly story, but namely, I forgot how a chat program I used to use was called. I can't remember no matter how hard I try... I'm sure it was popular. So, I'd be thankful if someone could lsit me several popular chat programs. Im pretty sure I would remember it upon hearing the name.

Thanks in advance...

Mirc Xchat, chatzilla all for IRC chatrooms

MSN, AIM, Yahoo messenger, AOL?

Some of those perhaps?

Oh yes! It's AIM. Thanks a lot.

Zarr, I believe you will be able to get the Pell Grant when you are living independently of your family. Don't move in with anyone too rich.

I got the Pell Grant through Vocational Rehab while my hubby was on fixed income; that's how I learned Computer Software Programming.

Nole Djokovic won the Australian Open. That kinda makes me feel better.

surprise . Just dropping in t say hello

Welcome back, Megil!

How's life?