Yay, Grits!!!!

-sigh- I had a dream that mALX was coming back soon. I woke up expecting to see a post from her.

I hope your dream will come true, Liz

Great news Grits!


Liz, I hope there's something to that dream.

+1 (twice)

I rose in the mood to do some writing. Coffee cup on my desk, I started doing some major editing to some upcoming chapters of Valrimor's adventures. I was thoroughly pleased with the results and closed MS Word to come here and do some reading...WITHOUT SAVING! Two hours of work gone! I was able to restore the document to its previous state, but all that work is toast! Sometimes I want that emoticon that has smiley guy banging his head against a brick wall...

Ouch!!!! I've done that...about four or five times...not the exact same way, of course though.

Yikes. And I can't even close a blank Word document without Word asking Are you really really REALLY sure you don't want to save? Positive? Here I'll save it anyways. No? Come on it isn't much space. Really? Ok.

I KNOW! That's why it caught me by surprise...It never asked me if I wanted to save changes

Alright, y'all. We're heading out. No more internet. Will be on when I can!

Bye

Glad you'll be able to get on intermittently, but I'm sorry you can't afford 'net at your home.

We'll survive. We're at McDonald's right now. Snuggles is playing on the Play Place. He's having a blast

That's nice

Thanks for letting us know Liz. Best of luck getting your net back so you don't have to use McNet.

I understand. I've been in this exact situation before for a month or so.

You can catch random wifi if you're out and about lol

Well, NFL fans...the game is set. The Denver Broncos (from Colorado) and the Seattle Seahawks (from Washington) will meet in the NFL Championship Game. Due to the locations of these cities, the NFL has renamed the game. Instead of Super Bowl 48, it will be known as Smoke a Bowl 1.

The only Championship Game I´m interested in is the one that has Nintendo World in front of it

Muhahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha! ®

Still a registered trademark. I don't sue, I get even.

Point the First: OH EM GEE! Is Blackie back....again?!

No. Not really. More of an update on my status.

I am alive.

That was easy.

I am emotionally sound....PFFFFFTT!!! Yeah, even I can't keep a straight face with that one.

I am however much better then I was.

Story in that regard the first: 'Jane'

Well, after spilling my soul out to a fellow forum goer some weeks ago, and she most certainly was *not* Mrs. Hollow, I was in some sort of a miasma of...emotional pain in regards to Jane that had me convinced that I wanted this person, that I had feelings where somehow there just weren't any there prior. It tore me apart inside.

Finally in the New Year, as I made sure my overly drunk friend did not puke to death at his own party, a plan finally formed in my head: To be certain of both my own feelings and hers.

But how? Well, drunken rationality to the rescue!! You've heard of drunk dialing, but this would be drunk emailing!! Full of confessions! Absolutely stinking of that irresistible pheromone of 'Wounded Boy'.

What was the catch?

The events and dates that were contained therein were complete fabrications. Easy to slip by on the surface, but upon examination they would fall apart completely.

I sent it with unbaited breath and about three more shots of liquid courage in me. I did not expect a reply.

So I was actually surprised when she did.

It was a standard 'girl-letting-you-down' reply...which was the first clue. The second was how she 'agreed' with many of my assertion about dates and events that simply weren't true, and I had the evidence to back it up.

She left me high and dry without a word, so I was a little bitter. Don't judge me. Only Kiln can judge me, and he's made it clear that only me joining a Burlesque House as the lead dancer would make him raise an eyebrow. Whether in disgust or interest went left unsaid.

"The reason I cut contact with you was because I knew that you wanted more then friendship." she wrote.

In that moment, the weight was lifted, and my heart was free. I never wanted more then friendship. It wasn't until she started ignoring me I was wondering what the heck was up, and that later turned into: "What might have been."

No...this was a trap I had set;...drunkenly... and she'd fallen into it. At that moment I'd remembered something from back in early 2000. A girl I'd worked with prior, but otherwise had no interest in romantically, did develop that interest in me. It ended poorly when I told her that I was not interested. It was private, yet she broke down into tears, and the knowledge of how it felt to be rejected flowed forth into an almost overwhelming guilt.

So we hung out a couple of times after that and it didn't end well. Again.

Fast forward to 2014. Take that same story and stretch it out over eight months. The feeling of guilt from an implied rejection, alongside a genuine affection for this person regardless of her gender. Either way, a very strong feeling. And yeah, she looked good, but so do magazine photos. That doesn't make them have traits that suit me, or viable in a long-term relationship, and frankly I have bigger fish to fry.

I eagerly collected my data: Her adding me to Facebook; not vice versa. Copy of the text that she'd sent me asking; almost begging, me to go have that drink with her after work when I left the company.

Then, I stopped. Hell hath no fury...yes. But, I also realized: She never really was my friend. She'd played the part to a tee, and hanging out with her a couple of times yet being indifferent had made her see something that wasn't there either. We were both victims of our illusions. She'd cut contact when things weren't heading the direction she'd wanted, and I was wondering what the hell I'd done, and feeling bad that I'd hurt her.

Yet, here I was: Trying to hurt her. Even if 'Vanity thy name is woman, what was I trying to accomplish? Even if the sexist rule is: 'The hotter the chick, the more insecure.' Was I so petty that I would let my insecurities go to war with hers? What was the endgame, and what were the consequences?

I don't know if she ever shed a tear over me. I don't think she did, but I saw that girl's face from nearly fifteen years ago bawling at a tablestand in a marketplace.

Someone will comfort her. Someone will make her feel protected. But it won't be me. I was never the man for the job, and frankly...I was never interested in applying for it. I don't drink to the point of blackout, I don't go to clubs, I don't listen exclusively to R&B artists such as Lil' Wayne or Drake or Nicki Minaj.

What I had needed was closure, and I got it. I was finally at peace with what was, but not entirely with what is at that moment in time. I nodded to myself as I deleted what I had written on the screen. I decided that the story didn't matter anymore. Like a bad sequel I was the one dredging it up and making my audience suffer with something that should not have been. And just like going to see it, someone else always pays the price for our mistakes in this regard.

So I wished her the best, sent her a couple of pics of my calligraphy abominations, and...I went about my day with a spring in my step I'd not had in some time.

It was then I noticed the cute little Asian girl that I worked alongside occasionally who was shy as hell actually smiling at me. Or had she been this whole time? It made no difference, I asked her out for some coffee and she said yes.

Jane has her side of the story, and my 'evidence' to corroborate it. I wish her the best, and frankly, I don't care what she thinks or says now. I'm much more comfortable sitting here with a little Asian chick who shares my interests, doesn't like going to clubs either, drinks in moderation as I do, and much like me likes nearly all music and doesn't need to focus on one genre.

Oh, and my calligraphy drives her up the wall. She says I will have to write her a love letter in my badass spencerian hand one of these days.

One of these days, maybe. If she plays her cards right.

Blackie!!! My Skype hasn't been working, so i haven't checked up on you. I've sent several messages (and it just dawned on me to email you...)

Hi!!!! I'm glad cute asian chick is working out so far :]

Great to hear from you Black Hand. I am happy that things are working out for you, despite the road traveled to reach the destination, it seems that the end result is much better than the one you might have had should you have tried to move forward with "Jane".

Your skill at calligraphy is still amazing as well.

Glad you worked through that, Black Hand. It sounds like you have a great new beginning.

My grandfather learned Spenserian in school. I have some of his journals and oddly a college Physics notebook. They’re beautiful.

So...here in Alabama...we don't get snow. I lived in New York for 20 years, so I can deal with it (driving, walking without falling, etc.). Well, today we received 2 inches of snow. It's like INSANE around here! The authorities have declared a Civil Emergency. People have abandoned their vehicles on the highway. It's chaos, complete chaos. The roads are all grid locked from accidents and vehicles not being able to climb hills. The DOT doesn't even own a snow plow. There are sand spreader trucks trying to get to the major roads, but with limited success. The whole area is basically shut down. All because of 2 inches of snow. Crazy, I tell ya...CRAZY!

You can click the link below for some photos to look at.

Album of Photos

Only two inches and they're flipping out?

I'd like to see how they react with as much snow as there has been here lately

I honestly cannot believe such commotion for two inches

Wow, it seems like we have that much snow every day here in Michigan. Those roads look really good to me!

It´s nothing!

Ignore the parts that mention snow and you'd think it was the apocalypse...

I really can't defend this...our schools are shut own here in Texas. It's literally dead here. I've lived here my whole life and am not in the least bit concerned. I even drove to the store and back, only having to chip ice off of my windows.

Then again, I've been skiing and fell into a snow drift that was my height, and reserved my panic for that moment XD

I'm only upset because there's NO SNOW HERE.

Only time I remember that schools were closed down was on the famous morning 17th of November 1995. It snowed like crazy during the night together with storm level winds and come morning there was 6-7 feet deep snow in droves on the roads.

The roads were clear before mid-day...

Our schools were cancelled today, too. So far no snow.


10 minutes later: now it's snowing.

Update on the snow story...

Temperatures are supposed to drop to between 5 and 10 degrees above zero tonight. The state has called the National Guard in to go car-to-car on the highways, searching for stranded motorists. There is concern that people could freeze to death in their cars. Like I said in the original post, total snowfall was 2 inches.

Now in defense of the idiots that are stranded, there are a couple mitigating factors...

1) Alabamians don't know what snow is like. An event like this happens maybe once every 10-15 years. Most do not own adequate winter clothing. So they left their homes/businesses ill prepared.

2) The National Weather Service really screwed the pooch on their forecast for today. We were supposed to get just a few flurries...perhaps a dusting on grassy surfaces.

3) It turns out that the DOT does have trucks to treat the interstates and major roads with ice preventative chemicals, but they were not used because the forecast didn't warrant their use.

4) Because of the incorrect forecast by the weather service, schools and businesses opened normally. By the time the weather service realized their mistake and issued a Winter Storm Warning, it was too late. The snow came and with the temperature at 20 degrees, the snow stuck to untreated roads immediately. When cars drove over it, the snow melted and flash froze into ice.

All of this has created the most disastrous 2 inch snowfall I have ever seen...CRAZY! All of the roads have 2 inches or better of solid ice coating them, making travel 100% impossible anywhere around here.

Everyone got snow except out area. I'm even north of Houston, and it snowed there!!

Is it wrong to say the flaming car was the funniest one? Is it?

Mpfff! ... .... Well, as long as no one was hurt.....


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

So my mam said I might be able to have some money to get a game or something but I don't really want a game.

I recently watched some videos by GiveBackFilms on youtube but I'm obviously not old enough to go out and do something like that myself so I want to donate to charity, what would be a good trustworthy one that I'd be able to pay by credit card?

Edit:Keep in mind I'm in Europe, so I have to be able to donate from here.

I'm not sure, especially in Europe. Just do your research and make sure you don't give to one that gives most of their money to their administrators and actually hands off like 13% to the people they're helping.

I'm going to save up before donating.

I feel like every room in my house is too dirty, my glasses are always too dirty.

My dry skin on my forehead and scalp and the side my head is annoying me and little things make me angry like I knock over my lamp on my desk I should just be like "No big deal" and pick it up but I just get angry.

Puberty sucks.

So it's normal?

I have three brothers and grew up with male cousins. Spurts of irrational rage is part of it. Find yourself a physical hobby to help that pent up rage. Walking, biking, something like that.

But about thinking everything is dirty, everything is but no one else seems to care and I can't clean it all myself and it really annoys me.

That I can't help with. You could just be channeling your rage into something you see that's a problem.

I feel better now, music helps calm me.

If you're that pissed off, how about cleaning those areas you have control over?

Part of growing up is learning how to get angry and doing something about the things you can control, and how to just let go of the things you can't (like the weather, other people being people, etc). It's good that you're recognizing this issue now.

Hey, Impy. Martial arts is good if you wanna stay calm, at least you probably will be outside the dojo

A guy in my class came in with dialated pupils and was laughing for no reason...I think he's hanging out with the wrong crowd.

Just don´t get involved yourself Like someone says in Oblivion; Bad company; bad influences.

Who said games can´t be good!?

Don't go near him unless you're looking for trouble as well. He won't get anywhere in life.