CATAHOULA NEWS - DOG DAYS DIARY
Day 1. On The Eve Of The SurgeryThat snowstorm spreading across the southeast - we've been snowed in for two days, and my puppy is due for surgery first thing tomorrow AM. - The Vet never called to confirm the surgery.
When they didn‘t call to confirm the surgery, I tried calling them (still during their regular hours of business) - and got a recorded message to call back during regular business hours.
Of course, by this I ASSUMED they were closed because of the snow/icy roads.
NOW: I am supposed to have her there before the vet's office opens for business in the morning - in other words, before they begin taking phone calls - (but surgery patients are accepted early). - which means no way to phone first and see if they will be open.
They have no web site, nor did they post a closing on the local media sites. - I spent hours that night searching for an email address, web site, reading local media lists of closings - home phone numbers of the Vet by name, etc. NOTHING.
Day 2. The Day Of The Surgery The alarm goes off at 6 AM. I fumble for the remote and turn to the weather channel. It is 13 degrees out, guaranteed icy roads. I have no way to call the Vet and ask if they’ll be open.
Do I drag my little girl out on icy roads and skid my way down there only to find they are closed with a sign that says, "Are you a total idiot?"
- or do I risk missing the appointment and wait till office hours to call in and ask if they'll be open? This is what I do. It is 13 degrees out, I live in the boonies. I'm not driving on icy roads till I know they'll be there.
So I don't leave the house till I can get someone there on the phone. I call repeatedly (you know the drill, redial, send. redial, send. etc.) and keep getting their recorded message that says to call back during regular business hours - but they should have opened over 30 minutes ago !!!
Meanwhile, I was supposed to keep her from eating anything since 8 PM last night, no drinks past midnight. I had everything under control till I need to use the bathroom. It looks like Frosty the Snowman exploded in there. Dixie had shredded a full roll of toilet paper.
The living room also looks oddly white…almost as if it had snowed in there. The lazy boy easy chair is no longer overstuffed; a sad, pathetic skeleton frame of wood and metal covered with ragged blue cloth is all that is left of my husband‘s favorite easy chair.
***Finally, someone answers at the Vet’s office - over 30 minutes after their regular business hours (during which whole time I kept getting the recording telling me to call back during regular business hours). They tell me, "bring her in" - so I do.
I stop trying to piece the chair together and grab Dixie. We head out the door.
So…then I am driving on icy streets, sliding and skidding. Halfway to the Vets office she takes a giant cow-sized hunky dunk all over the back CLOTH seat of my car. She proceeds to roll in it with each skidding of the car, walk through it then stand up all over the back of the seat, the doors, etc - all CLOTH.
The smell - you get the idea.
Her leash has been dragged through it as well. I go to get her out of the car at the vets, and her leash is covered in it. I have to touch it with my HANDS!
I go into the vets and happen to mention that she shredded toilet paper and one Lazy Boy chair - you guessed it. Surgery cancelled. GAAAAH !!!
So then, I have to drive back home - it has warmed up to 15 degrees now - Slide, skid, swerve, etc.
I get home and (once again have to touch the leash with my HAND) - she is so happy to be home, that she runs THROUGH the feces and jumps all over me.
Am I having a bad day? Should I have read my horoscope before leaving bed this morning?
The AftermathThey have some TV show out (my husband watches it) that is about people who work in the crappiest professions - stinky, dirty, fish-gutty, dog-pooey, etc.
You know, careers where they do something disgusting every day and get paid for it.
I would love to contact one of them and have them clean my back seat - the back seat of my car, that is - out for me - I would be willing to pay just about anything to not have to do this myself.
No amount of big eyes and hints (or bribes) swayed my husband to volunteer his services.
My idea is to open all the windows and let the (now 20 degrees) cold air freeze the crap so it doesn't stink so bad. And throw clumping cat litter all over it. Then tomorrow, approach it with a 4" putty knife, several "Food City" plastic bags, etc.
Add another layer of clumping cat litter to absorb my puke, come back the next day : repeat.
If the time comes that I don't puke when I do it, then I need to bring a gallon jug of vinegar, a pound of Oxy-clean, a pound of Baking soda - dump them all in there and mix .
I considered going to one of those car washes you put the quarters in and spraying the living crap out of my back seat area with that high pressure hose.
Actions TakenI dumped 34 pounds of Fresh Step (with anti-bacterial odor reducing carbon crystals) scoopable cat litter in my back seat and rolled all the windows down to air the car out.
So…I‘m looking out my window, and see my outdoor cats climbing into the back seat of my car! They obviously thought I had created a giant free-form litter box just for them!
Well, now my windows are only open a crack, still trying to freeze the stuff. So, er…anyone have any suggestions on how to clean it?
********************************************
True story, happened today. So Dixie’s surgery has been rescheduled for this Friday, December 17.
Meanwhile, I hope you all have a wonderful Holiday Season !!