Yeah I've learned long ago I can't hide from my problems, but I feel like I really like the person I am. I'm not perfect but I acknowledge when I've done wrong and I'm trying to commit myself to giving love, meditating, being mindful, etcetera. Opportunities to get what I wanted just seem to be slipping away right now, that's all. I'm talking mostly about girls, which is honestly the only reason I wouldn't want to go, but I haven't been getting any lately anyway and I really want to do this.

Well, I'm glad to hear that you like the person that you are - that's really important to leading a happy life. And ya know, I've always liked the person that you are too. Your posts are always intelligent and thoughtful and often provoking; but never dull. lol



About girls, hmmm? Considering that you look like young Ringo when he was really cute; I am at a loss to wonder why you ain't gettin' any! But maybe it's because you've gotten more introspective lately with all this stuff that you are thinking about and maybe girls around you can sense that. I don't know. Go with the flow - of your own rythums of course. {I can't spell]

Okay, first time that I have seen.

And by girl you mean demon.

The weather in Oklahoma has kinda been like that. More gloomy and less wet. And it's getting cold. Finally.

I <3 my Calculus class.

Today was pretty good. It wasn't that bad. Got all my work done. Yay.

It's so shocking the nine weeks is almost up. School has gone by fast. My senior year is such a breeze! I'm so pumped for graduation.

I should start preparing for the ACT. I've been told that I could easily make a 32. Right...

The ACT is actually pretty easy.

Just don't take the SAT. It will ruin any perfectly good Saturday with six hours of test-taking.

That was helpful advice and a good ego boost so thanks. I figure you're right, the journey is what matters, not the destination. I should just let go and live in the moment and just watch it all unfold. Though I know I'm still very capable of making wrong choices I'm confident I'll make the right ones where it counts.

As far as getting any, looks have little to do with getting action if you're a guy. I had other problems like a fear of making my intentions known and as soon as I managed to got over that and had a short but meaningful relationship I thought, "Hoorah! I'm about to get laid 24/7 now that I'm all confident and just looking to have fun and know female turn-ons and stuff!" and then I don't get a window with a hot girl since, not even once in the last three weeks. It's like I conquered a hurtle just so I could conquer it, not for the material reward it could have offered. I know I should try to transcend the material but still, I feel jipped.

There's just one thing though, I feel a sense of urgency and there's absolutely nothing I could say that wouldn't make me come off as an egotist, and frankly it may all stem from an inflated ego, but I feel like people are going to need me sometimes and that terrifies me because I'm not strong enough. I don't know, I guess I just want to train now so I can be more aware and focused when opportunities arrive to help people. I know it sounds like some pursuit of glory, but I don't want any glory, and if this comes off as some common thing for people to want to feel important in some way that just lead ordinary lives then tell me so I can just put it to rest. I should just put it to rest anyway, inflating my ego with ideas like this won't help me.

Does anyone recognize the names: Gungnir, Acheron, or Kusanagi? Anyway, Doomed, good luck with buddhism, hope it works out for you.

Gungnir= spear of the god's in Tales of Phantasia
Acheron= dunno.
Kusanagi= That ship with five seconds of screen-time in Seed Destiny where it tried to destroy the big superweapon, and failed miserably. Why battleships carry 1/100th of the firepower of a robot 1/100th the size still confuses me.

Ok, those are some examples of how nerdy I am. So uh, what were those three originally?

I'm pretty sure Gungnir was the name of the spear/lance used by the Norse god Odin, though I may be (and probably am) wrong.

Thanks to Wikipedia:

Gungnir (also Gungni, Gungner, or Gungrir) was the name of Odin's javelin. The javelin's name means "Unwavering One" for it always hit its mark. According to Snorri Sturluson's Skáldskaparmál the javelin was fashioned by those dwarves known as the Sons of Ivaldi under the mastery of the blacksmith dwarf Dvalin . It was obtained from the dwarves by Loki as a partial reparation for his theft of Sif's hair. It has the practical characteristic of always hitting the target it was hurled against. The war between the Aesir and the Vanir officially started when Odin threw a javelin over the heads of an assembly of Vanir gods. Whether or not this was Gungnir is unclear. This magical weapon symbolizes the importance of the javelin in the world view of the Norsemen (see more at Javelin in the Norsemen societies).

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The Acheron is a river located in the Epirus region of northwest Greece. Acheron translates as the "river of woe" and it was believed to be a branch of the underworld river Styx over which in ancient Greek mythology Charon ferried the newly dead souls across into Hades.

The lake called Acherousia and the river still called Acheron with the nearby ruins of the Necromanteion are found near Parga on the mainland opposite Corfu.

Another branch of Acheron was believed to surface at the Acherusian cape (now Eregli in Turkey) and was seen by the Argonauts according to Apollonius of Rhodes.

Greeks who settled in Italy identified the Acherusian lake into which Acheron flowed with Lake Avernus.

Plato in his Phaedo identified Acheron as the second greatest river in the world, excelled only by Oceanus. He claimed that Acheron flowed in the opposite direction from Oceanus beneath the earth under desert places.

The god of the river, son of Oceanus and Tethys fathered Ascalaphus with Orphne or Gorgyra.

The word is also occasionally used as a synecdoche for Hades itself. Virgil mentions Acheron with the other infernal rivers in his description of the underworld in Book VI of the Aeneid. In VII, line 312 he gives to Aeneas the famous saying, flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo: 'If I cannot deflect the will of Heaven, I shall move Hell.'

In Dante's Inferno, the Acheron river forms the border of Hell. Following Greek mythology, Charon ferries souls across this river to Hell.
Wikimedia Commons has media related to:
Acheron
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acheron"

Categories: Greek gods | Greek mythology | Sea and river gods | Mythological rivers | Locations in Greek mythology | Preveza

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Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi (Japanese: 草薙の剣) is a legendary Japanese sword as important to Japan's history as Excalibur is to Britain's, and is one of three Imperial Regalia of Japan. It is actually called Ame-no-Murakumo-no-Tsurugi (天叢雲剣, "Sword of the Gathering Clouds of Heaven") but it is more popularly called Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi (草切断の剣 lit. "Grass-Cutting Sword"). It may also be called Tsumugari-no-Tachi (都牟刈の太刀). The actual Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi, if it exists, is likely to be a jian-type sword in the style of the Bronze Age which is typically double-edged, short, and straight; very different from the more recent katana backsword style, which features typical curved single-edged blades.


**********************

So why the interest in these mythological items?

Yes, wikipedia was the place I originally found the names to give the *censored due to spoilers*. I tried to find names that fitted them in some way, Gungnir, being a mystic (ranged weapon) that always hit its target (fitting for a nigh-perfect sniper).

Kusanagi, I chose because it's a legendary sword (the fact that it's in the same league as the famed Excaliber) made it the best choice I could find for a *to be revealed later*.
And Acheron, the name (in my opinion) enhances the character's silent, mysterious, and insightful nature.

Anyway, the reason why I asked is because, I have giddy, ego-centric moments sometimes. I'll be tying these names to three new characters in my story. So, that's it, you may return to your forum and RL business now.

Well, today I'm procrastinating. I have a really bad cold, and my head feels like a helium balloon, just floating on top of my shoulders and full of nothing but air. All this while I'm trying to work on a presentation for a conference I'll be attending next week. I wish I could get my brain to work.

I turned in my application for the Colorado State Police. I really hope I get in to their academy because I despise Michigan. I won't actually be moving until next July but I think I can handle a few more months of this state. I hope.

Well I can verify, Sir Radont, that Colorado is absolutely breathtaking and really even cooler to live in that you'd expect when you go there. I like the attitude of the people there; besides the beautiful mountains and all the crispy snow and everything. I was stationed there for my tech school in the Air Force, right in Denver and always wished I could've done my whole stint there.

Turns out I'm nowhere near cured. Oh well. It could be worse - I could have gone trough weeks of not getting any, like Doomed...



...oh. Wait.

OOoohhHH Nooos!! Milanius is sick again?? How did that happen? Do you think you caught the sickness again from the parents?



*Ibis rushes to make homemade chicken soup (no it's not canabalistic; I'm a waterfowl not a barnyard fowl) and wooley warm blankets and grape cough syrup and other Florida medicinal supplies ready and then calls a small contingent of giant egrets to ferry all the medicinals over to Milanius' house ASAP. "Hold on. Mil, helps acoming"



As for y'all going weeks without getting any - I would have tried to send malibu barbie dolls - but Pisces stole them all.

blow-up comfort dolls? That was unexpected. Do we really need to go there?

link removed, apologies.

'ey there, I may be pathetic wretch of a man [I was... once?] but I still have some self-dignity!
*continues to blow his nose into a towel-sized handkerchief*

Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, you post that picture. And to think, I opened that link at work. Do we really need to operate on this level?

Regardless, I feel some of your pain, milanius. I've been blowing my nose constantly for a couple days, and it isn't fun. I hope it will go away soon.

Oh for gosh sakes, people are joking here. As for opening fantasy game fansites at work = shouldn't you be filling your time there with more serious pursuits?

Touche, but everyone needs a break sometime. I suppose I was just caught off guard. I certainly don't want to be a party pooper.

I needed characters for my tea party!!

Awwe, you're so cute! How could I ever be mad at you? Did you invite the mad hatteras fish and his buddies too?

I think not. Let's keep it nice and tidy, everyone.

I deleted the picture link. Again, I offer my apologies.

Anyway.

I just got back from my sis's ex-Uni, the mechanical engineering one [ex, because she finished it in 1996.]. She needs some legal documents from them to prove that some exams she had there are equivalent to certain exams in Canada, so she can apply for courses... now, I had all my papers and a huge fat tax payed but there was a small flaw so I had to redo entire application [another document so I can get the expensive papers from the Uni administration]; by the time I finished it again, they close the inquiry desk, since it was 11:10. They work from 08:00 to 11:00 so I came back home and now I can expect paps to [censored] to me some to me because I didn't get up at dawn, or something like that. Neato.

I swear, it seems that the only thing I do nowadays is whine. But tell me, what normal desk at any normal GOVERNMENT facility [and this is a state University, mind you] works only 3 hours?! They didn't even have any information or worktime posted outside so I could know it, I had to ask students there... man. Three [censored] hours. Not even 1/2 of the worktime. No wonder this country's going to crapper fast.

edited to kick out stupid smilies and euphemisms.

Only three hours has to be the most ridiculous hours I have ever seen. I hope they have some really good reason for it. Oh, what am I saying, of course they don't have a good reason.

You are a sweetie Mil! I think the world of you...always have! Now I think you have all the right in the world to whine! As Planty pointed out it´s sheer ridiculous to have only three hours opening-time! gah!

Anyway I wish you luck with your upcoming encounters with those.....*******......

I´m gonna have one h*** of a week! Too many meetings, too much additional preparations for my special project in november.....Oh well....I´ll make it somehow, even if it doesn´t seem that way at the moment

Special project in November ... hmmm. That wouldn't be http://www.nanowrimo.org/ would it?

I'm contemplating doing this. Currently I am still in the procrastinating and dithering phase.

Anyway, hope your week turns out well. Imagine that Rashelle is with you saying things like "Focus minque, focus."

Editing accomplished. I had no idea that was such a serious subject with people .. seems funny to me. Oh well, I thought Pink Flamingos was funny too. <------ am i allowed to say that??

Oh how I love concert weeks. Sunday I saw High On Fire and they smoked live and Tuesday I get to see Porcupine Tree a brilliant progressive rock band. They're sorta like a heavier version of Pink Floyd and from what I understand their concert is focus on playing their new album in it's entirety (it's a concept album) and since I love their new album, it's going to be a blast.

Hmm, the Nanowrimo sounds interesting. But I don't know if I'm going to do it. For one thing, I don't know what kind of story to write or which one of my universes to take. Definitely not TES though.

And I just took the chance to count the words in Corrupted Heart. 78.305 Guess I'm over the limit if I'd enter that one.

Wikipedia says: NO.

[oh, btw, in case someone may be insulted - there are swearwords used for description of certain scenes from that movie in the Wiki link I provided - conceder yourself WARNED]




p.s.: I found out today the clerks at that faculty don't work for 3 hours... they work for one hour from 10 to 11 AM. Man, what a joke. That particular engineering faculty must have well over 500 students, wonder how they all get their paperwork done during exam season?

p.s. 2: Minque, remind me - which herbal tea works best for migraine? :/ bah, nm *sends all 10 boxes of tea[s]* go get'em, Nord <3

One hour a day? How can they even consider that a job? I mean, why even bother to collect the paycheck?

I think that the issue is this: they're collecting indexes [those little red booklets with grades and other data that students have] and documents for one hour, then they stamp and print out requested documents and whatever for other 3, 4 or 7 hours. I mean, the guy told me today "Papers will be done tommorow" it's a huge document though, with summary and description of every individual exam's curriculum. It's some work and they wanted nearly 40 euros for it, yet it'll be done in one day?

Still, 1 hour is ridiculous. Back at my old Uni our similar desk service worked from 08:00 to 15:00, with several large breaks though, but still. These guys don't have at least ONE clerk who's going to receive documents on one desk? Weird, weird, weeeird...



edit: too much Beastie Boys remixes affect your brain XD

Hmmm....would be fun! (I got the hint alright!.. )

And maybe possible..but my real project is a major decontamination at a NPP in southern Sweden. I´ll stay at a hotel for approx. 5 weeks. But no worries...they have wireless LAN and I´ll just bring my Mac....so I´ll be watching over you from there.

No games..just internet...and hopefully some serious writing

What can you tell us about this major decon? I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that I hope it isn't a really serious problem that you are going to clean up. We wouldn't want you coming out looking like a corprus beast, after all

One hour a day?!

That is... well, you know what I'm thinking.

BFI? XD

Anyways, good night. God knows people won't believe me when I tell them few good men and women I've never met save my sanity daily. I love you guys.

OK, that's scary. Are you going to be mucking about in the reactor core or something dangerous? Yikes.

--
milianus ... what is BFI? I googled and got a plethora of widely different results. I was going to ask you on the irc but you are not on at the moment.

Well, Blockhead, I can think I can answer by using my incredible sense for logical deduction. Note, the F word is usually somewhat offensive.

BFG= Big 'f'ing Gun (Too many examples to name them all. The first might have been the BFG 2000 in Doom.)
BFS= Big 'F'ing Sword (Chrysamere for example.)

Which leads to:
BFI= Big 'F'ing insane

Oh yeah, I'm good. Care to give me a pipe and some tobacco, dear mister Watson?

"B" stands for "Bat" - unfortunately, Mr. Cloudy, you only get coffee but no donuts *shrug*.


Lord, give me strength to endure this country's administration. That is all I can say now.

Aw man, but I don't like coffee! Can I trade in the coffee for donuts?

And geez, one hour is indeed rather short. Even at our school we have at least one person sitting behind the desk for the full day. Sure, they have the habit of ignoring you for fifteen minutes or running away to get fresh coffee when you drop in, but they are there.

And today's exams were more annoying than hard. Physics went well, after I cleared out the mess in my head. But the sociology (Err, amateurish translation. It could be something else) exam was pure hell. Not because it was hard or something, but because someone had the guts to play insanely loud music right next door! And the observer did nothing, beyond looking at the wide open door and shrugging. Just close the door man!

If I was allowed to talk without getting an instant 1 (Lowest grade possible), I would have told him so. Now, I was forced to simply plug my ears with my fingers.

And I did some more thinking on this Nanowrimo thing.


Don’t have a story yet, but I did think of a setting. If a name is needed, We’ll just call it the ‘Tear’ setting for now.

As of this point, I haven’t yet settled for what kind of technological developments have taken place. So it could be the iron age, the middle ages, the 16th century or even closer to current age. But I doubt it will be modern age or future age.

The world is pretty normal except for one thing. Demons. In this setting, Demons are spawned by heavy mental stress. In particular, very intense nightmares. A demon can be anything, but it always takes on the form of the prominent cause of fear in the nightmare. This can be a good thing if that form is wimpy, or a bad thing if it is say a black cloud of all-consuming evil. Now while the more capable Demons usually slaughter everything in sight, this isn’t much of a problem as people rarely have nightmares of sufficient intensity.

The exception to this rule are the ‘Tears’. There is a one in three chance of a newborn child being a Tear. These people simply can’t seem to sleep without having nightmares, and they have the ultra-intense version with frightening regularity. Few of them survive past the infant stage cause well, a baby can’t defend itself, especially against a supernatural creature. The only good news is that a baby’s nightmares are easily put down. The bad news is that those who survive develop a better sense of what’s scary and what isn’t, resulting in more potent Demons. Add in the fact that the survivors have to be totally badass by definition, and an adult Tear’s Demons become just about the worst thing you can imagine.

Anyway, anyone who is discovered to be a Tear, gets marked with a large black tear-shaped tattoo on the forehead, from which they get their title. They have to show the tattoo at all times, using anything to obscure it beyond recognition, (hair, hats etc.) will lead to instant execution upon discovery, no trial needed. The only reason why they aren’t killed as soon as possible is due to popular belief that Tears ‘carry the balance of the world’ which is total nonsense, but some friendly prophet thought it would work and it did.

As for locations, I have only one at the moment. That is the Sanctuary of Rest. It is a big castle-city somewhere populated by priests, warriors and Tears. Tears make up half the population here, most of them immigrants. As the place’s name suggests, this castle is there mainly to ensure that Tears can sleep without being slaughtered by whatever they conjure and live a reasonably normal life, hence the large number of warriors and priests.

For characters, I’m planning two main characters. One will be an adult Tear who is pretty normal if one ignores the whole Demon-spawning thing, though I haven’t decided on anything beyond that, not even gender. Male or female? I just don’t know. I think I’ll do female though. As of yet, I haven’t really used any females extensively beyond Rajn, and she’s not what I would call a three-dimensional character. The other will definitely be a Demon decked out with enough weapons and armour to crush five normal men to the floor.

No, I'm thinking Arby's.

Nah, it would be BSI, Mil.

Someone told me derivatives were hard. I think they were smoking a big fat doobie. It's as easy as normal limits.

I'm not sure I'll enter, between School, Chorrol, and Halo 3 I don't think I have that much time. Anyway, we'll see..... Probably not, I'd rather wait 'til next year and work on Revan right now..... come to think of it, I don't know how many word's I've written.

Revan's not something I'd submit, I hardly did any real research on ranks, and other background info I would eventually apply until shortly after starting part 2.

jack cloudy:
I do not yet have a plot ... nor a setting ... or anything ... for nanowrimo. D'oh!

Well, I had the idea of using this as a means of kicking the lokken2 story but I don't think so. Maybe it is time for me to try a different character & setting. Rashelle is neat, she's fun to write ... but ... I need be able to write other characters.

Your concept is intriguing and could certainly generate at least one novel ... maybe even a series. How do you come up with these ideas?

For nonawrimo, I may just wing it. Winging it has never worked for me before but ... hey, there is a first time for everything.

Another tax payment which administrative clerk forgot to mention yesterday: 40$
Gas cost for extra mileage during the car race to the bank and back again to Uni with tax proof: 8$
Repairs on broken rear right light [...don't, please DON'T ask]: 7.50$
Finding a normal female administrative worker who actually helped me and promised she'll have all the documents stamped & ready for Monday, 14:00h: PRICELESS

So, um, how was your day?



Now I'm lost.

They're easy... at the beginning.

Ah, the secret for my inspiration. I bet you want to know. Too bad, it's a secret!

Nah, just kidding here. My inspiration comes mostly from my dreams. I have some down there that are just perfect for stories and such. It's really a shame I tend to forget most of them before breakfast. I also have nightmares annoyingly often. Fortunately mine aren't of the 'summon lethal ripping Demon.'


And for today's news, I went on my very first solo shopping spree! My goal for today was simple. Buy Oblivion before it got rare (which is what has happened to Morrowind. Expansions are a bonus.

Alright, first store. I hadn't been inside a toy store since I was six or something, which is a good twelve years behind me. After a ten minute search, I found Shivering Isles. The following internal monologue happened.
,,Groovy. If only it wasn't stacked so high up." Then I looked down.
,,Says I while kicking a damn stool."

After another fiftheen minutes, I'd realized that they didn't sell regular Oblivion which does surprise me for a bit now that I think of it. Sell the expansion but not the base game? No problem though, for I knew one other toy store. That store didn't sell either.

After that, I pretty much gave up and walked back to where i'd parked my bycycle, taking a small detour. I then came upon a Free record shop. I knew we had one around, but that was more based on logical deduction than actual knowledge. Anyway, I saw from outside that while they don't specialize in it, the only thing they sold were cd's and dvd's. It's the digital age, people!

Five minutes later, I walked out with Oblivion collector's edition. Sure, this does mean that buying Shivering Isles was unnecessary, and it does take another fifty bucks out of my eighty bucks budget for which I spent the last five years or so saving. But damn, I couldn't pass up that chance!

Next step is getting my hands on some hardware that isn't a decade out of date.


PS: I've got five bucks left. Close call with the prices.

Edit: Now I feel rather stupid. I spent a ton of money on stuff that isn't really necessary and which I can't use, while you actually have the misfortune of needing to pay for stuff you can use. Anyway, I'm going to get something to eat. I'm hungry.

You're my hero, Jack. And I am sure that entire community here will applaud you for being money-wise.

edit: *sends Mr. Cloudy some of his burger leftovers*

I actually went and signed myself on the NaNoWriMo site. The name "blockhead" was already taken, so I signed up as "lokken".

Jack: congrats on first shopping solo. I tried Oblivion on a friends computer shortly after it came out. I was not impressed. Yes, the tilesets were nice, and the landscape, but the people all looked kind of ... ugly. The phase that popped into my head as I tried to roll up my character was "balloon head". I finally ended up making my character an Orc because they're sort of supposed to be ugly. The gameplay was itself kind of ... boring? Or to easy? Mindless, yes ... It reminded me of the first Never Winter Nights, in that I could just move along without thinking at all, without having to pay attention to anything

Still, if I wait a year or so, it will be five bucks. Then, in some distant future when I can afford a new computer, I can give it another try.