A very well-written piece, Renee. I could see the Redguard firing those arrows and sneaking past the abominations in the sewers perfectly. I just hope he doesn't relax too much now and stumble right at the finish line...

From Saga to the armorer, from the armorer to the vampire and finally to Kahreem. Good intro, I like the "path of the arrow" and how it was created in the forest but probably used for the last time in the catacombs below the Imperial City.

Seriously, Kahreem? Now you're stealing from the blind?

Great stuff. And I did like how you traced the path of the arrow, reminded me of how the film's title sequence traces the similar path of a bullet, from its manufacture on, in Lord of War. (Yeah, that is a Nick Cage movie, but it is one of his better ones, I think...)

Kahreem is so fun to read as he shoots (and misses), then crunches his way through a well-earned snack!

Might that arrow's crafter indeed be Saga? Or perhaps another Blonde Bravilian Bosmeri Bowgirl?

Thanks to all, for giving your mental support to my crazy Redguard.

I just got an email back from the Guinness Book people by the way. Turns out there is no such thing as "Longest Period of Time for one Character to finish a Bethesda Questline" dangit. Joking. Seriously, though, I had no idea it'd take this long to get to wherever he has gotten to, when me and Lopov created our Redguards side by side long ago in September of 2012.

-----------------------------

Sun's Height 10, 3rd Era 434

Days Passed: 318
Play Time: 285:38:32 (Please stay away, wicked A-bomber!)



He opens up the door, and finds himself in a large, circular chamber, dominated by a massive, hanging cauldron of fire. The Imperial Library is the exact opposite of the sewers. It was a little too cold in those sewers. Now it's a little too warm. Kahreem feels really glad that he ditched all that heavy armor.

Despite being an inner portion of White Gold Tower, the room is still massive. Expensive windows of colorful stained glass are spaced evenly between each column of cold stone. Kahreem thinks back to his youth, back to the days when he was touched by the cold hands of the monastery. He'd heard rumors at some point that all of Cyrodiil's chapels are supposedly "showered in gold," but so far he hasn't seen anything of this sort. The Imperial Library comes closest, though. This is definitely the most regal and ostentatious place he's ever been, he thinks. One thing he doesn't see though, are books.

He can hear some bookworms though. Matter of fact, he hears one turning pages somewhere below him. He wonders if this bookworm is a lore-geek, for no particular reason.

"Hmm," he says aloud, the roar of the fire drowning out his voice. It's good to finally say something in a normal tone of voice, he thinks, as long as he does not speak directly to one of the priests. "As the Grey Fox says in his note, I must now go to the bottom floor of this so-called library."

There's a spiral staircase located about forty paces away, if he avoids the two priests rambling slowly on this upper level. All of this goes easily. And once he's down the stairs and in (what he assumes to be) the main bulk of the library, he can't help but laugh aloud at its lack of books. He counts seven bookstands in all, with maybe a total of 50 tomes. He nears a shelf, expecting to find some book he's never heard before.

"Maybe this library is so small because all its books are rare."

This seems not to be the case though.

"Fundamentals of Alchemy? Trials of St. Alessia? History of Lock Picking?"

Nothing out of the ordinary, which means nothing he can steal for extra coin. So instead, he unrolls the scroll given to him by the Grey Fox again, to see what the next step in The Great Heist shall be.



Though there are several benches, there is only one chair in the vicinity. Kahreem correctly guesses that this must be the correct chair. He sits down. And notices the 'bookworm' he'd heard before, which happens to be one of the moth priests, one of the BLIND moth priests.

"By Sithis, how is he able to read if he is blind?"

Kahreem shudders a moment. Maybe he's not blind. Maybe none of them are blind. Maybe he's just walked into some sort of trap! ... They're also expecting a woman named 'Celia,' and he certainly does not smell like a woman named Celia. He smells like a man named Kahreem, who smells pretty much like the last beer he drank. Is this the end? Have I come to my doom, in this circular joke of a reading room, killed by dozens of monks? ...His worries are for naught, though. Almost on cue, one of the priests he'd seen upstairs begins coming down the spiral staircase. The man pivots right, and then lays a scroll right beside the Redguard's hands.

"Celia Cameron," the priest says. "I present to you the Elder Scroll you requested."



It takes a bit of willpower for Kahreem not to reply in a silly female voice. After the priest lays one of the rarest artifacts in Nirn upon the table, he immediately begins to walk away. Which is good, of course. Kahreem realizes it's time to go, but he can't help but just sit there a moment. He looks within his sack, and finds a second beer. Can't help but crack the cork off its top. Can't help but glug this beer down too, right there in the sacred library.

"I wonder what it says. Ha! I wonder if I'm about to go blind from reading it."

He can't help but open the scroll, which contains a series of runes and esoteric symbols. They mean nothing to Kahreem, and as the second beer takes some effect, making him feel all swimmy once again, he feels a little disappointed that whatever this Elder Scroll says, he cannot even fokkinge read or understand it at all.

"Well hey, at least I'm not blind."

He gets up, and wanders off, hoping he won't have to go all the way back through all those sewers, and such.


"Hey, I'd better cut down on the ale," says a female Imperial voice. "Starting to see things, I am."

Kahreem realizes he's gotten up from his chair a little too fast, and does not crouch down after he does so. Instead he stands fully. This causes the bookworm priest to get up suddenly from her bench, and come rushing over. The thief keeps his cool though. Immediately hunkers down, and gets into what little shadow there is.

"Hmm. Whatever it was, it's gone now," says another priest. A male. BOTH moth priests now come down the spiral staircase. One of them raises his fists!

Fokkinge to Molag Bol.

The thief wobbles on his feet a moment, really wishing he hadn't downed that last beer! The priests take no further action though. They seem satisfied that nothing foul is going on, and wander off. Kahreem begins the slow process of vacating the library, and all fifty of its books.



"Ha! Yeah! Well I certainly am creative!"

The library exits into one of the outer halls of the Imperial Palace. Again, this hall is circular. It is also quieter out here. No roaring fires to drown out his footsteps. Luckily, there is some magical music playing, but the Redguard must still be careful.

He wanders literally right in front of a palace guard, who just stands there, lost in thought. "Heh, I'd better cut down on the Tamika's," this guard jokes to himself.

Kahreem then comes to a door which says "Imperial Guard Quarters," and easily gets into it with one of his keys. But this part of the Ultimate Heist is not so easy. His initial instinct is to keep moving downward, taking rights as he enters those circular hallways. This ultimately leads though to a door labeled Elder Council Chambers. And this door cannot be opened by any normal key or lockpick. it is only after hours' exploration that he discovers the way out is not down, but up.*

Kahreem's lockpick count falls to just 18, as he opens several locked doors in a row, some of them 4 or 5-tumblers. Of all the keys he's go on his person, it's odd that none of them open these last final doors. But he does find himself in one final bedroom, which has an empty hearth. Oddly, this hearth has what looks to be a grate underneath its empty log-holder. And the grate looks movable. Almost like a door.

"Hmm."

He moves the log-holder aside, and opens the grate. This grate is magical though. As soon as he opens it, he's already falling toward ...

"ARRGH!"

.... a floor, far below the safe, secure Palace Guard Quarters and its empty hearth.

"Fokke that hurt! ... That must been what those boots of Springheel Jak were for!"



The chute he'd fallen down empties into an area he's become well-familiar with though. Back in the sewers. In fact, he even knows which part of the sewers he's now in, since he hears the sound of this -- ghosts nearby. He also hears plenty of dead-eyed skeletons, and at least one shambling zombie nearby. Nothing Kahreem hasn't dealt with before.

"The trick now is to be methodical. Don't offer myself as bait. Maybe those undead won't try to hack great lumps out of me. Hmm." He stops, and thinks about the sounds of those skeletons, and how even with his heavy dwarven warhammer, it had taken way too long to kill one of these. "One thing's for sure. When I get back to the outside world, I'm going to have to improve my weapon skills."

He drinks nearly all the healing potions he's got, before figuring his way out of the Imperial Sewers, hopefully for the very last time.

That's worrying. It sounds awfully sensible for Kahreem, the man who has just embarked on Tamriel's top caper equipped with a bag full of beer. (Well, I guess we all need a treat from time to time.)

But, yeah, while it's ages since I last played this through, I do remember finding that last bit confusing and having to look up UESP myself. A bit slack of Beth, considering it's the end of a major quest line.

Glad he's made it out in one piece, anyway. Sad it's nearly over, though. So what are you going to find for him to do, when it's all done, Renee?

The blind 'bookworms' can be pain the ass, right? They didn't know that it was Kahreem on the chair instead of Celia but they were able to discern that his footfalls weren't Celia's.

The TG was the first questline I completed years ago and my character at that time - Amadeus - was also a member of the MG. During the Ultimate Heist he encountered some female battlemage who attacked him first but obviously she was a member of the MG as well, and when he killed her, a message popped up about his suspension from the MG. Their fight alerted nearby guards and in the end Amadeus had no choice but to surrender, I was sure the quest would fail but no, a few days later he was released from the IC prison with the Elder Scroll still in his possession, no doubt because it was marked as a quest item.

Kahreem has come a long way and can now see the light at the end of the tunnel - quite literally



Yeah, what is Kahreem gonna do once this is over? Back to "borrowing" horses and wine? Naah, I reckon he must venture on to some even bigger things. I heard there was some sort of strange door out in the Niben..

Great idea! Or there's Umbacano, though Kahreem would have to happen by an Ayleid statue first. There's a couple of mods I know that could suit him, but this is XBox...

(I just hope he doesn't get religion and then ends up gallivanting around with the KOTN. Sir Kahreem of Weet...)

The madcap misadventures of Celia of Weet as she he pulls the blind moth priests away from the 50 books they can't read.

Wow, Kahreem completed a pretty challenging adventure there!

That is a good question. I've thought of porting his game over to PC, but it just wouldn't have the same feeling of crude magic. Yeah, but it has been a lot of fun being with him.

He does have Thieves Den in his game, so maybe he'll look into that.


Ha ha ha it's funny the things we remember from our early days! So Amadeus and Lady Saga share getting kicked out of the Mages Guild in common.


I think also the question is what am I gonna do once this is over?

I can't really see him going to SI. He'll probably revel in his notoriety for awhile. I think of all my characters, my Grey Wizard character on PS3 would be best suited for Shivering Isles. IN case you don't know him, he is based on my very first tabletop character from my DnD days (1980s!) He finished the Main Quest and also became Arch Mage. And he also had that quirky sort of mind all typical wizards have, where he was into discovering new things and experimenting. So I could see him heading off to some weird, magical land, but not Kahreem. Kahreem seems like he's looking forward to what he knows.


Yes he did, and let's see if he can do more.

Turdas, Sun's Height 11, 3rd Era, Year 434

Days Passed: 319



Finally the moment comes, the moment when one of the most notorious thieves in all Cyrodiil emerges from darkness, by passing through a grated portal roughly two feet in diameter. What will he find on the other side? Sunlight, or darkness? Rain, or sunny summer heat?

Turns out, it is deliciously pleasant. Rosy skies above. Stars can be seen. Is daytime just beginning? Or is it just ending? Kahreem begins walking through the Arboretum District, still wearing his Dark Brotherhood robe and hood, and still partially blurry because of his magical chameleon ring. As he walks, the sky definitely gets darker. So that answers one question.

First order of business for him will be to get back home, back to the Marie Elena. Have a real meal, and catch a quick buzz off some wine, before changing into ordinary town clothes and passing out. He begins his walk. The Grey Fox can wait. As he begins his walk, he feels a slight burning on his skin, and remembers to chug down his potion of disease-curing.

"Because that's the last thing I want, is to stay infected by some fokkinge vampire I met down in some drafty old sewer."

"This had better be good!" a city guard reprimands.

Kahreem agrees, but he chooses not to answer the guard directly. Does he have a bounty? For most citizens, and for those who are hardcore murderers, this sort of answer is always easy. Always "yes" or "no." But for somebody like him, who dabbles mostly in petty thievery as well as some larger heists, he can never be too sure.




Next morning
He decides he'll wear the dandiest, most colorful clothes he's got on his ship, and emerges from the Marie Elena wearing a suit of red and purple.

"Hello there," he greets an elf man wearing blue. And he greets this elf because the elf is walking around with his fists raised, which seems odd. But Kahreem also wants to get a feel of the Waterfront. Are people aware at all of what's been going on right under their noses?

"Areldil," says the elf, still with his fists raised. "We don't have any business do we? Then peraps, you will excuse me?"

"Oh hey, not a problem, sir. Just wondering if there's been any news here on the Waterfront lately, about anything with the Thieves Guild, ya know, that underground organization we're all not supposed to talk about?"

"I'm not in the habit of answering questions for strangers. No offense intended."

"Ah I see. Your fists speak for you then."

The elf walks away, still with his fists in the air. Kahreem begins to head toward Armand's place next, but gets stopped first by Hillod the Outlaw. "You wear the shadows well, my fellow thief."

"Who me? Hey, I'm no thief. You must have me mistaken for that other Redguard." Kahreem looks to his left and his right. No guards are in attendance, luckily. "But hey, what's the word lately on the Gray Fox? Has anyone know what he's been up to lately?"

"We don't talk about him in public."

"Huh?"

"The Thieves Guild follows the Gray Fox. However, we make sure that most folks think he is just a myth."

"Um. Yeah. Sure. Just a myth. So it's okay for you to constantly address me as a thief, but we can't talk about some mythical man. Well, thanks for clearing that up. Because someday I'M the one who's going to be a myth. Ha ha yes, just you wait, my brother. But until then, can you stop your references to me as 'fellow thief?' Huh? Can you? Like... spread the word?"

"Shadow hide you."

[SIGH]

Kahreem makes it to Armand Cristophe's house then, but the Redguard who'd started it all seems rather clueless about any dealings Kahreem has with the Gray Fox.

"We don't talk about him in public."

"But we're not in public. We're in your house, Armand."

"The Thieves Guild follows the--"

"Yeah, yeah I know. Hush hush about the Gray Fox. Hillod just told me the very same. He's a big myth and all. Well now I'm about to go meet this myth, and I can assure you he's very real.. He wears a fokkinge mask all the time though, but today he will make sure to take it off this time, or he will not get this Elder Scroll I'm carrying."

At this, Armand's eyes grow. He blinks, as though surprised. But says nothing.

"Remember my face today, Armand. Pretty soon I'm going to be a very rich man. Heh, maybe I'll even build myself a sort of boutique as a cover. A boutique for fine clothes, like the ones I'm wearing now. What do you think of the name Goddess Store?"

"Shadow hide you."

You can never be sure if you are wanted or not!

Kahreem looks stylish in his red velvet ouftit.

Heh, he doesn't even know if he's wanted or not!

Looks like Armand finds Shadow hide you a better name than Goddess Store.

Difficult for him to know; was he seen last time he borrowed that horse before going on this heist? Who can tell, better lay low


Man, I barely even recall what Kahreem did before all this. He's been on the job for quite some time. And maybe you're right, Renee. Maybe the Isles is not a place for our notorious thief but rather the familiar surroundings of a castle's wine cellar or the treasure room. Wherever he ends up, I hope we haven't heard the last from him!

Kahreem running the Goddess Store! What a wonderful hoot that would be!

Oh, that would be priceless. I think he does need a mod, actually. Thieves Grotto is full of eccentric characters and quests for him, or there's Vaults of Cyrodiil for a challenge, that might not be his speed, though. I like the Grotto a lot, but I confess I haven't checked out the Vaults.

Oh, and then there's Thievery in the Imperial City, and Thieves Arsenal, which is a lot of fun, as you can buy stuff to help rob. Like water arrows, which you can use to put out lights.

Damn, now I have a strong urge to start up a new Thief character...

Report of Captain Dens Primus

On the 10th of Mid Year 3E433 we exposed the so-called Children of Mephala, a cult of blasphemous Daedric worshippers and inhumane assassins led by malevolent witch Paralinque. For years its affiliates, mostly Dunmer refugees from Morrowind, were killing unsuspecting honest citizens of Skyrim in the name of their wicked Goddess.

On the 10th of Mid Year 3E433, after months of following various leads and gathering reports from numerous sources, we stormed their malign hideout close to the Dunmeth Pass under my personal command. The spiteful cultists fiercely fought back and were aided by Spider Daedra which mayhaps Mephala herself summoned to support her mischievous worshippers. Four of my men perished that day and nine of eleven known cultists were killed. Yet two of them escaped through a secret tunnel, which collapsed after their passage; unfortunately their leader, rancorous Paralinque, was one of the two.

The other escaped cultist was Fenrin Willowsdark, who according to our sources didn't have a prominent role in the cult yet I fear that Paralinque's escape hints at further danger and that we haven't seen the last of her. I suggest that this report be sent to all the Jarls.

Captain Dens Primus,

The 17th of Mid Year 3E433, Solitude

Addendum as of 20th of Mid Year 3E433

Below is enclosed a short summary of mostly proved facts about escaped cultists:

Fenrin Willowsdark (Wood Elf) – little about his past is known but Fenrin served as an informant of the cult. As a shield-bearer in the Imperial Legion he was responsible for spying on the Legion. Because of a minor role in the cult, no other reliable information about him is available.

Paralinque (Dark Elf) - the supposed founder of the Children of Mephala. Her real name is not certain, for in records of the brothel in Suran where she worked at a young age, she was known as Parali. In later records, when she pretended to be a priest of the Nine Divines, she was known as Linque and on another occasion, masquerading as a merchant, she was called Palinque.

It is believed that Paralinque stepped on the dark path when in Suran, by killing customers of the brothel, intending to gain Mephala’s attention. Ostensibly she succeeded, hence Mephala appointed Paralinque as the Goddess’ mortal servant, bestowing upon her the dark gift of killing in her name. The details behind the so called Goddess-mortal alliance are obscured but can be alluded at. After becoming the prime suspect behind the mysterious killings in Suran, Paralinque fled from Morrowind. Though many thought that she disappeared for good, in reality she escaped to Skyrim and in the following years gathered more like-minded individuals, all of them bloodthirsty and devoted to Mephala like herself. That was how the Children of Mephala were formed. Posing as adventurers, herders, hunters, traders, warriors and everything in between, the Children of Mephala are believed to be responsible for a sheer amount of killings in the name of their Goddess yet the exact number of victims remains unknown. Though Paralinque was wounded, when me - Captain Primus - and my men attacked the hideout of the cult, hence her magical powers are believed to be significantly diminished, she should nonetheless be considered a formidable foe.

Lopov, nice stuff here! Are you playing this Legion Captain, then, who is cultist hunting?

Or maybe he is playing Paralinique, one of the Mephala Cultists.

Ha! You surprised me (us) again, Lopov! I didn't see this coming!

Yes, that's the thing about Bethesda's bounty system, if it's below 500 (I think, or maybe it's 250) guards won't bother the player at all, unless we speak directly to a guard. And Kahreem is famous for having constant low bounties, rather than hundreds or thousands. It's because he does eventually give up, on occasion.



Silly, I don't know where that came from! Maybe he just kick-starts the place, the way some criminals sometimes use stores as fronts for money laundering. By the time we get into Saga & Sarah's games (4th Era Year 5) Goddess Store is in business, but Kahreem has already moved on somewhere else.


I don't know how to explain it but it just wouldn't be the same, especially humor-wise. Because I think a lot of the humor which shows up happens because of situations that cannot be fixed, or consolized, or setstaged, etc. I'm forced to use my imagination in a different way than I do on PC. I think his story is funny BECAUSE it is so low-tech.

You should start a thief character though. I'd love to see that! And I do have an idea for a character (for PC) who will do Dark Brotherhood, which is a questline I've never finished. This character I'm thinking of will be a storybook witch, and check this out... she'll be able to speak Goblinish!!! She'll be aligned with goblins, basically, maybe she'll be related to Goblin Jim, even.

Fredas, 4:34 pm, Sun's Height 12, 3rd Era 434

Days Passed: 320

Bounty: 0


"LEAVE! ME! ALONE!"

Ley Marillin punctuates these words to the Redguard he'd just served, the Redguard wearing foppish red clothes. Though Ley does not know this Redguard's name, the rumor is that he's the one responsible for many somewhat recent crime sprees over the past year or so, especially in various merchant shops.

Thing is, the thief, if this was indeed the man, wouldn't just steal stuff. Wherever he struck, he would also ransack. Anything which could not be stolen and sold would get strewn across floors, or flung onto walls. And many suspected this Redguard, right here in Ley's pub. This Redguard had been caught a couple times, for one thing. But it'd also come down to the fact that some people in the Imperial City had begun to notice that whenever this Redguard was not around, the crime sprees would stop.

Why can't they do anything about that blasted thief? shopowners had argued. Why don't they just haul him away?

But the truth was, they often did haul him away. But never for long. Because of the way Cyrodiil's laws worked, it was rare that a man could garner any sort of huge prison stays, here in this latter portion of the Third Era. The laws just hadn't been written in this manner. Most notorious criminals, after all, quickly wound up dead or in permanent exile. These sort of criminals often choose to fight when they were caught, or flee somewhere into the outlands for good.

"Not this fellow," Ley mutters quietly. "This one slips right on through, somehow."

Ley keeps a close watch on the Redguard, who feasts upon a meal of boar's meat with sheep's cheese melted all over it, accompanied by boiled rice on the side. A sweetroll to finish it all off. The Redguard brought his own alcohol (no law against that, Ley thinks with dismay) which Ley notices happens to be the cheapest of wines.



"Good evening," says an orc with green skin. This orc addresses the Redguard.

"And to you, sir," the Redguard answers.

"May your kills be quick and many!"

"Kills? Oh no sir, I'm here on business. I don't do any killing, matter of fact, that's the job of my bodyguards. Though not many enemies with any sense choose to mess with them. I travel with two giant minotaurs, you see...."

Just listen to this! Ley thinks as he wipes down his immaculate counter. Listen to these lies! Probably sleeps in straw, the savage! ... Hmm. I wonder if there's a way to--

But just then, the Redguard gets up from the throne he'd chosen to sit upon while eating his meal.

Of course he'd chosen the throne, of course, Ley's final thought before the foppish man leaves his establishment.


11:09 pm
Kahreem leaves the King & Queen Tavern, turns left, and heads toward the house he's pretty sure is where the Fox was last staying. Gets there. A dark elf waits outside in an alleyway, with a torch in his hand. "The Grey Fox is waiting inside!" the elf squeaks, his voice trembling with excitement. Kahreem looks to his left and his right, and can't believe it when the elf doesn't follow this information with 'Shadow hide you.'

"He will be glad to see me then," Kahreem says, before entering the home he thinks the Fox is in. "I've been looking all over for him, so I can perform my first citizen's arrest. Oh, it'll be so fine if he's really here. I'll string him up when I see him!"

Kahreem enters the home, and is surprised to see a man wearing fine red clothes is inside the place, with no Gray Fox in sight. "Marinus Catiotus," the man greets. "Ida Vlinoraman and me, we're associated with the same interests, the same styles."

"Oh uh... am I in the right house? I'm here to speak to a man who .... err ... another man ... a man with a funny-looking mask on."

"Oooh! He's that wanted criminal. Isn't he a master thief?"

"He is? Uh, like I said, I am not sure I've got the right place. There isn't a man in a mask somewhere around here, is there?"

"I hear he's dangerous," Marinus continues. "I've heard the beggars spy for him."

"Hmm. Well I know nothing of any of that. I only wish to speak to a man with a mask on. He makes masks you see. For parties. I'm off to Cheydinhal next week and I hear they have the very best of them. Would be nice to show up to one of those Rivermanor parties wearing a mask, don't you think that'd be fun?"

Marinus looks confused. Suddenly, Kaheem realizes he IS in the wrong place. Fumbles his hand across his brow. Excuses himself. Leaves the posh home owned by Marinus Catiotus. And tries the home next door. Where the Grey Fox is waiting patiently.



"Ha! There you are. I can't believe it. You know I just walked into the wrong house looking for you? I'm such a dunce."

"You have the scroll?" the Fox asks. He can barely contain his enthusiasm, Kahreem notes.

"Yes sir. I do. And you have no idea what I went through to get it."

"I can hardly believe it! The odds were steeply against you!"

"Yes they were. And I have a feeling what you're about to say, which is.."

"Capital job!"

"CAPITAL!" Kahreem agrees, handing the scroll over. "Here, you take it. CAPITAL! I tried reading the damned thing. Can't read it. Guess I'm lucky I'm not blind."

"I have spent seven years learning how to translate this scroll," the Fox informs.

"You have?"

"Even so, I will need awhile to decipher what I have sought so desperately."

"Sure my foxy friend. So you need .... what? ... a day or two to roll your eyes over the thing? Hey, you might want to say goodbye to your eyesight then. Unless you struck some kind of deal with Nocturnal or Molag Bol or one of them."

"Ah! Still thinking about your reward eh?"

Kahreem stops all the sudden. Completely caught off-guard. "I ah... " because this is one of those rare times, perhaps the only time, during which circumstances had been so completely hectic over the last few days, he'd actually forgotten about any form of compensation.

The Fox continues, "I have not forgotten you or your loyal service to the Thieves Guild. You'll just have to trust me. But give this ring to Countess Umbranox in Anvil. Say nothing about me to her. I need to know how she'll react to it. It may provoke anger or tears."

"Huh? Uh, what's this about a ring? Hey, let's say get back to the subject of my reward, eh?"

"If she asks," the Fox ignores, "just tell her a stranger wanted her to have it. Then report back to me on her reaction."

"Mm hmm. I see. A ring for the countess. Got it."

"Move along."

"Hey uh you know, that's not very capital of you, Foxy man. You want me to go all the way to Anvil without any gold? ... Look at me! I'm so poor and destitute," Kahreem says, trying to put some affect into his voice. "Don't let these fine threads I'm wearing fool you. Why, just now I had to beg in the streets just to get my meal at the King and Queen Tavern, which really I am not very good at begging, you know. Simplicia the Slow was right there too. And Fetid Ragbag or whatever her name is. They both caught me in my downward fall as a struggled from those sewers, every last piece of gold lost or spent. They tried to help me, but I'm just not very good at begging. I mean, look at my face, look at my fine bone structure. Nobody's going to believe I need help! Nobody's going to give me any gold out on the street! And uh also, I don't want to be stepping on anybody else's vagabond turf. So what do ya way? Help a man when he's down eh?"

But the Gray Fox does not respond. He merely stares.

"Fokke. Fine. You got me. I'll take this fokkinge ring to Anvil then. Not very Capital of you though. Not very capital at all! Hmph. No gold. No reward. Hmph."

"Shadow hide you," the Gray Fox says to his top thief, before Othrellos walks into the house, and begins a conversation about Morrowind, House Dres, and Falanuu. Apparently, the beast folk had been freed from servitude recently, and the Gray Fox listens intensely to Othrellos's information, seemingly forgetting his very top thief.

"Fine. Be like that. Doesn't help me at all," Kaheem pouts as he walks outside, the sound of 2,738 gold jingling in his vest pocket. "Not very capital of any of yous."

The crime waves stop whenever The Redguard is not around! The Wheet Bandit is infamous!

Kahreem wanting gold for his Anvil trip when he has 2738 gold pieces on his person already? I say, travelling fares sure have gone up recently..!


Hopefully the Redguard will get his Capital reward later

LoL, he entered the wrong house! The conversation with Marinus was well-done and funny.

Alright now, looks like it's time for Kahreem to snatch some horse and ride to Anvil.

Way good. And there should be some weird way to get into a Rivermanor party. If there were, Kahreem would find it, I reckon.

Yes, I remember that 'hey where's my reward?' feeling. Though he does have the Boots of Springheel Jak now. And I never thought of the King & Queen as being immaculate, myself. Though I suppose by comparison with Luther Broad's Boarding House...

Renee, I never get very far with character narratives myself, probably because I'm always changing the world around the poor souls, gives them some sort of disassociative disorder or something. If I did, it would likely be a thief character, though.

EDIT: Oh, and I would be interested to see what you make of the DB questline. I never finished that one myself, think it's about halfway through. And Goblin Jim does need a backstory, I think - maybe there was some content cut there. I'm quite fond of goblins, hate massacring them, so my PC usually sneaks past (well, they're not very perceptive).

Sitting on the throne in his red foppish suit - drinking the cheapest wine, that he brought along himself to a tavern. . . .

And Kahreem finally finds the Gray Fox again - Capital!

I thought the TG questline was nicely done - especially the ending. But I won't spoil it for Kahreem.

Thanks! After reading many stories of H.P. Lovecraft in the past month, I got an urge to create a dark character, so it's not the captain but the cultist.


That is correct.

~~~~~~~~~~

The Black Rook Tavern in the Imperial City Waterfront was a common meeting place for thieves, thugs, pirates and other lowlifes. Gra-Hagra, the proprietor, welcomed everyone as long as they could afford to pay for drinks or rooms, and didn’t mind what kind of shady deals were made in her inn.

The Bosmer in black tunic was sitting alone at one of the ratty tables, as if waiting for someone. He has become a frequent customer in the last two months and to Gra-Hagra he was known as Rifenn. Lately he seemed more on edge than ever, especially since he purchased two horses on the Waterfront Market and paid Gra-Hagra two hundred septims to watch over them. He never talked to anyone, neither had he ever allowed anyone to sit at the same table. ‘A shady man with shady past’ thought Gra-Hagra who couldn’t care less about what were her customers doing, but it was interesting to observe them nonetheless.

But then one day mysterious Rifenn got a visitor. A tall Dunmer lady with bright violet hair entered the inn. Gra-Hagra saw her earlier as she carried ale to pirates of the Marie Elena – the lady has just stepped from one of the passenger ships that sailed to the Waterfront today. She remembered her well because of her unusual hair color.

“What can I get you?” Gra-Hagra yelled from over the counter as the Dunmer lady approached.

“That depends on what you have.” Though Gra-Hagra didn’t like a lot of things, she liked the voice of this lady. She felt that if she listened to her talk for a long time, she would fall into pleasant trance.

“Take a look,” she curtly said and handed the newest guest one of her stained menus.

“I’d like a bowl of mutton stew and a bottle of mead, please,” said the Dunmer lady and sat at one of the empty tables.

Gra-Hagra sent Vermilia the tavern wench with the food and drink to the lady, then went upstairs to check if all customers that were currently renting rooms, locked doors behind as they left. The last thing she wanted was for some beggar like Puny Ancus to spend a night in her inn.

When she came downstairs, she noticed that the Dunmer lady and Rifenn were now sitting at the same table. It wouldn’t strike her as odd if until now Rifenn refused to talk to anyone. So perhaps it was this lady because of whom Rifenn seemed on edge as of late. A few minutes later they stood up and left the inn. ‘Perhaps Ferinn will get lucky, he he’ thought Gra-Hagra, watching them as they were leaving.

Rifenn led the Dunmer lady between some shoddy houses on the Waterfront, then opened a wooden hatch leading to one of the cellars. He gestured for the lady to go first and as she stepped down, he went inside too, closing the hatch behind.

“How was your trip, lady Paralinque? Was the ship comfortable?” asked the Bosmer, whose real name wasn’t Rifenn but Fenrin. Fenrin Willowsdark.

“Silence, tree-hugger!” snarled his mistress and Fenrin froze with fear. Obviously she still hasn’t gotten over the fact that it was partly due to Fenrin’s fault that their cult was exposed. “If it weren’t for your ineptitude, we would still be in Skyrim,” Paralinque scolded him, her voice echoed in the small cellar, causing Fenrin short-lasting yet intense headaches. When she spoke again, however, her voice was soothing and now Fenrin felt like she could listen to her forever. “But we shall discuss this no more. What is done…is done. Tell me now, Willowsdark, what have you found out?” Paralinque crossed her arms, pleasantly smiling and Fenrin felt at ease again.

“Mistress, you will be delighted with what I know. I was occupied day and night but it was worth it. You were right all along, the shrine to our Goddess is right here in Cyrodiil and…”

“Where?” Paralinque interrupted him with a demanding tone and at her words a sharp headache struck Fenrin once again.

“It’s in the Great Forest, east of the Silver Road, halfway between where it meets the Orange and Red Ring Roads. Have a look, mistress, I bought a map of Cyrodiil in one of the shops so we won’t have any difficulties…”

“Did you find me a horse?” Paralinque interrupted him again.

“For you? Yes, of course, I bought two horses at the market. For both of us.“

“You did good, Willowsdark,…” Paralinque complimented him at last. Fenrin sighed with relief, his mistress’ voice was soothing yet again.

“… and that’s why your death shall be swift.” Paralinque’s booming voice encompassed the small cellar and the Bosmer had to press hands against his ears for the headache was so powerful.

The last thing Fenrin Willowsdark saw before feeling immense pain in his belly was Paralinque’s silver dagger glittering in the dark cellar.

Not a lady to be trifled with, clearly!

Nicely done.

Evil prevails on Lopov's Laptop. Paralinique kinda scares the [censored] out of me, even in sunny, smiley Cyrodiil.

I have a feeling the part when her voice causes the Bosmer to freeze in fear or feel an immense calm is derived from Lovecraft, right? If so, which story?

Edit: I'm just realizing that Gra-Hagra witnessed Paralinique as the last person the Bosmer was with. So when people find the Bosmer has been killed, they'll quickly realize who was most-likely responsible. Or at least, the orc proprietor will realize this.

Thanks for all comments on Kahreem folks and do check out Lopov's story (above this) as well.



Ah, you can do it. Start off simple, like I did. Don't write a story. Just write an update, like literally what your character did that day. That's how I started. The earliest Kahreem updates probably weren't nearly as detailed.

Heck, that's actually a good idea. Let's have a flashback to the very first Kahreem update. Heh, I'll call it Klassic Kahreem.


Me too. I got up to the part when Lucien wants us to *blank* all the DB Guildmates. My character just couldn't do that part. She had grown too fond of all of them, even the snarky Khajiit guy. The character I'm going to create in the future though just won't give a [censored]. She won't be entirely sane, either.

Anyways, here it is. Klassic Kahreem. I'm actually curious what did I write? Oh my gosh, it's actually funny. Ha! I didn't realize they were humorous back then.

----------------------------

Morndas, 1:13 am. Last Seed 27, 3rd Era, Year 433,

"Wake up Redguard! How do you like your cell? Rooomy enough for you?"

The Kahreen of Weet awakes with a start, and has a headache! Where in Oblivion is he now exactly? As Kahreem rises from a bedroll on the floor, his vision doubles and then triples.

Bars. He sees bars where the doorway is. Why would they put bars on a doorway? his taxed mind wonders.

He walks over, to see where the voice (an elven voice) was coming from. As he goes to push the bars out of his way, he realizes they don't move.

"What the?..."

..."Bet you're glad it won't last long" continues the voice. Although he can't see who is speaking, The Kahreem of Weet sees there's another set of bars on a doorway across the hall. The voice calls again...

..."OH! Did you know? No one leaves this Prison alive! That's right, you're going to DIE in here, Redguard, DIIIIE!!!"

The Kahreem of Weet stands in confusion. Hears voices coming down a staircase. ....And then suddenly he remembers.

He remembers what happened...well...part of what happened. The fight with the snobby dark elf wearing red clothing for rich people. Aval Boobani or something. He thinks that's the dunmer's name. Kahreem had had much to drink, then this uppity dark elf showed up at the Bloated Float. The snobby dark elf had touched a nerve. And...

From then on, he could not remember what had happened. Kahreem's mind is a blank.

"Well, 'tis a good start, at least", he says. "I at least remember thus far..."

As he stands at the bars glumly, the Kahreem of Weet wonders what his fate will be. How long he's going to have to stay here. And if there's a way he can get out.

Well, there you go. That's exactly the point I stopped, for the same reason. I suspect I'm RPing more than I realise. Or maybe it's just me. I'm still testing a mod that places updated memorials, and the best way to test it is to type killall in the console, which kills everything alive in the current cell. But it makes me feel like a mass murderer every time. I suppose it's for their own good though...

But yes, one way could be to run up some unmitigatedly bonkers character (maybe one who thinks the world is actually something called a 'video game' and all the others are NPCs). Perhaps they could actually use that Vile Lair DLC. I always have that loaded, but I never know why...

That recap is great, shows you've maintained a consistent, and very funny, style throughout. Now the next step is to paste the whole thing together and convert to .mobi format. Got to be able to read it on your Kindle.

(Actually, come to think of it, it might make a quite good in-game book, except for all the spoilers. But perhaps you could receive it as an extra bonus when you've completed the TG quest.)

A nice little walk down Kahreem Memory Lane from his beginnings many years ago. Nice!

I completely forgot that it was because of Alval Boobani that Kahreem got thrown to jail. I know he much later led Alval to his death by luring him to some mudcrab, though. I guess that was Kahreem's revenge.

Thank you!


Probably not many would care about Fenrin / Rifenn, he was just another lowlife on the Waterfront. On the other hand, it will be a really long time before Paralinque comes to the Waterfront again so by then Gra-Hagra will probably forget about her.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the Great Forest, a short distance north of where the Red Ring Road passes Fort Chalman and turns left toward the Roxey Inn, amidst lush trees and blossoming meadows stood the shrine to Mephala. Animals avoided it, curious adventurers visited it and legionnaires from time to time checked on the place to ensure that nothing sinister was happening there. Mephala has been silent for decades and those few deranged cultists that were taking care of the shrine, weren’t regarded as dangerous by the Imperial Legion.

Mephala, the Webspinner, up to this day, didn’t have much interest in Cyrodiil either. For a long time most of her attention has been devoted to Skyrim, where one of her “daughters” led a powerful cult in her name. With the cult destroyed, however, her spider’s web in Skyrim was torn apart. Yet now Mephala sensed that her attention should be turned towards Cyrodiil, for she felt a dark presence coming to her.

Paralinque returned!

To satisfy Mephala’s blood lust and her own as well, Paralinque already sent portions of two souls to her, because for each Paralinque’s victim slain, Mephala received a portion of its soul as long as that victim was of pure soul. Though Mephala enjoyed seeing her lost daughter greeting her at her shrine, she wouldn’t grant her an audience.

Not yet.

Paralinque should prove once again that she was capable of weaving her own spider’s web among the unsuspecting people, then fatally poisoning them as they'll be at their weakest. Perhaps then, if Mephala will be amused, she may grant her an audience. Despite no words were said between Mephala and her "daughter", Paralinque knew what must be done and after a few further attempts of granting an audience, she tried no more.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This wasn’t Paralinque’s first time in Cyrodiil, however, and she knew precisely where her Goddess wanted her to be. Beneath the Imperial City, in its sewers, where only rats and vampires skulked, behind a magically locked door, was the lair of Mephala. It would prove a convenient residence for Paralinque. Spurring her horse, she rode along the Red Ring Road, to the Imperial City and what lies beneath.

Though it is sinister, I love seeing a character with a real relationship with one of the Divines or Daedra Lords. Pairing Mephala with her daughter Paralinque is sobering indeed!

To shorten a long story, Buffy's godmother is Azura and her patrons are Mara & Kynareth. Not surprisingly, it is the Daedra Lord that is most interesting since we infuse her with emotions ranging from love to rage.

Scary Paranormalique heads into the sewers, where she feels right at home. I love that. See, she doesn't have to kiss Mephala's feet or crawl upon her hands and knees. Para already knows what to do, and Mephala already knows and accepts your dark elf's reputation to get things done in the correct way. Well, I hope your recent problems with your game haven't hampered you from finishing Para's tale.

I'll be going to a Xmas party this weekend. So there won't be any Kahreem this weekend folks. Yeah, I know. Perhaps I've gotten something else written up from one of my others which hasn't been posted yet. I should be good for next week though, despite it being Christmas weekend, I'll have plenty of time because I'm already done most of my shopping.

Sundas, 9:27 am, Sun's Height 14, 3rd Era 434

Days Passed: 322

Bounty: 0


Sun's Height, and the fourteenth of it. Normally during this mid-summer day, it would be warm, or even hot. But today the rain falls hard, cooling the air and the ground to temperatures which are more fall-like. A man emerges from the Marie Elena, a former pirate ship moored along the Imperial City's Waterfront District. This man is wearing a cuirass and shield from Bravil, chainmail gauntlets, legion-style greaves and a guard's helmet. On his feet are some very rare boots, boots which drastically increase his ability to jump.

At first glance, a casual observer might think this man is an actual guard, who'd somehow traveled all the way to the Imperial City's Waterfront from Bravil, for some odd reason. Maybe this guard had followed some criminal all the way here, performed a search on the ship, but was unsuccessful at apprehending anybody. But then, the casual observer (mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph) might notice a few things. He or she might notice that the guard is carrying a club, which is perhaps the crudest, clumsiest weapon one could possibly wield in all Tamriel. He or she might also notice this guard is not Imperial. In fact, he is Redguard.

He or she might then conclude that (1) this guard carries a club because he lost his real weapon. (2) The Legion is "always looking for recruits," and that they are desperate enough nowadays that they've even expanded their openings to other races, especially since the Oblivion Crisis has become a real, serious threat all over the land.

And then there's another possibility which might be arrived at, (3) which is, that this Redguard wearing Bravil armor and carrying a club, is not a real, actual guard. No, he is not a guard, and in fact might even be playing the part of one. This third conclusion might only be arrived at once the casual observer spends some time following the Redguard, especially as some foibles begin to commence.

"You wear the shadows well, fellow thief," another Redguard calls over to the one in Bravil armor.

"'Fellow thief?' No I was unable to find him, sir," the armor-wearing Redguard answers, making shushing motions with his hands. "He was able to get away this time, the bastard. Now, move along."

"You have my ear, citizen," another guard, this one real, greets the Redguard in Bravil armor.

Which makes him stop. And smile. "Hmm," he says. "Maybe this time, they are fooled. Sure, the guard still called me 'citizen,' but at least he didn't yell at me, and say mean things to me."

The Redguard walks along in the rain. Passes the Waterfront's lighthouse, and stops before the door leading up to the Temple district. There are two horses stabled right in front of this door: one a paint, and one a chestnut. The Redguard in Bravil armor muses over 'borrowing' one of these hooved beasts (because there's no way he's going to walk all the way toward his destination) but then changes his mind. Because even though this Redguard's morals aren't very high, he does stop to think about how untoward it would be, for some citizen to return here, and find his or her horse gone.

Instead, the Redguard in Bravil armor makes a left turn, follows the avenue all the way north until it intersects with the City Isle road, and turns right. Climbs the hill until he reaches Chestnut Handy Stable.



"You have my ear, citizen," greets another guard, making the Redguard stop and smile again.

"Finally, some respect. Ah. You don't know who I am sir, but let me tell you, it's been a real struggle becoming the first Redguard of the Imperial Legion."

"Ten of the morning's watch, and all's well. How are you sir?"

"Well I am just fine and dandy, my good sir. Couldn't be better." As the Redgaurd in Bravil armor speaks to the real guard, he notices the guard's tone may be casual, but his face, which is glowering, seemed summoned from another time. "Ah, I can see you aren't happy about me being on your turf, sir. I am part of Bravil, so what am I doing in your jurisdiction?"

"Make it quick."

"Well if you want to know, I came up here hunting for the Gray Fox, blasted thief! There's been some trouble down south with robberies occurring. Some of these robberies were reported from skooma-users, but others are legitimate. Long story, but we've traced the Gravy Fox's trail all the way up here to the Imperial City."

"He's that thief that the Imperial Watch are always going on about," says the guard. "He likes to steal from rich folk."

"Indeed he does. Just ask the count of Bravil, who had his entire silverware collection stolen by one of the Fox's footpads. And there are rumors that he's even orchestrated to steal one of the Elder Scrolls from the Imperial Library! Ha! Can you imagine? ... Some low, no-good scoundrel being cordoned into breaking into such a gigantic place, who could even fathom?"

"I see no reason to talk to you," says the guard, glowering again. .

"You don't? Well, that's not very cooperative of you. How would you like it if I return back to Bravil, and report to my superiors that you in particular offered no help to our investigation, and were also rude and would not participate in helping with even the faintest of clues. A rumor, or such. Huh? How would you like that on my report?"

The guard makes no answer to this, and keeps glowering.

"Very well then. You're lucky that it's raining out here sir, and that I just would like to get back home. Unsuccessful, because of no sort of help from you."

The guard makes no answer to this, and keeps glowering.

"Hmm. Okay. Off to find my steed then. Hopefully ... ah! There he is."

The Redguard in Bravil armor leaves the real guard behind. Walks toward Chestnut Handy, where oddly, nobody is tending to the stable. There's a bay tethered up right there next to the place, making it easy for the Redguard to unleash it, mount its saddle, and

"STOP RIGHT THERE criminal scum," the guard rushes over after witnessing. "Nobody breaks the law on MY watch!"

"Whoa whoa.... breaks the law?"

"I'm confiscating your stolen goods. Now pay your fine, or it's off to jail with ya."

"But this is MY horse. I am a town guard from Bravil, as you can see from my matching top-piece and shield. Okay, I admit I may not be wearing all the completely standard pieces issued by my Watch Captain, but that's part of my disguise to catch the Gray Fox, you see? You do see this, don't you sir?"

But the guard, apparently, does not see this.

"Uh oh."

"Then PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!"

The Weet Bandit rushes off once again at full gallop. As he does so, and the city guard begins chase, one of the stablehands, Restita Statlilia, finally shows up. She grimaces at the scene, brandishes an axe, and joins the guard at an attempt to kill the Redguard wearing Bravil armor.

Hahaha, this one's good!

I liked all possible options about what may be the Redguard in Bravil armor and wielding a club doing on Marie Elena.

The dialogue with the guard outside the gates is hilarious.

Yeah, it's surprising there wasn't any stableman outside, usually they come rushing to you as soon as you get close.

Well at the beginning his bounty might have been zero but now it certainly went up.

What a hoot! The Redguard almost Bravil guard.

No doubt though that Kahreem is a master horse thief. He knows that bay horses make the best stolen steeds.

Now this was indeed a classic Kahreem episode!




To be continued

Nice one! I was hoping there would be a pre-Xmas Kahreem. Yeah, I've always meant to check who leaves their horses outside the Temple district gate. Not exactly stabled, there's no shelter or hay or anything, poor beasts. And not exactly the place to park if you want to be safe from horse-thieves.

Anyway, Happy Holidays, everyone! (Season's Greetings are a bit early for us, but not for USans, I think...)

Since I was off-net over Christmas, I played Oblivion on the laptop I was leaving behind for my mother to use.
Played through the MQ, And SI MQ, so that I could complete the Gweden, Rumple and Evergloam quests (or as many as are possible without doing the other questlines.) That included the Red Dragon Club quests, too, and Heidi helping to closie the SI Oblicvion gates.

Lots of memories of Clark, even though he obviously wasn't along this time.

Loredas, 5:17 pm, Sun's Height 20, 3rd Era Year 434

Days Passed: 328
Days Jailed: 121
Items Stolen: 2032
Horses Stolen: 22
Largest Bounty: 2000


Kahreem of Weet leaves the confines of Skingrad's jail, suits up in his Bravil guard outfit reluctantly, and tosses his jail clothes right on top of the Skingrad Castle Bridge.

He does not like the fact that he's still wearing the armor of a Bravil guard. What's the point? He'd been caught for horse theft five days prior, just as he neared Skingrad's west gate. The guard here hadn't believed his story, that his horse had been retrieved from a common thief down in Bravil, and Kahreem was merely riding it back to its stable, since bays aren't particularly known for returning home on their own.

So, first thing he does is think of a way to discard his Bravil armor, which is useless as a disguise. Which means a new disguise. He begins to think of ordinary clothes, perhaps, it being the middle of summer makes a full guard's suit quite warm in the middle of Sun's Height. He begins going door-to-door, looking for a cheaply-locked home he can break into.

"Leave me alone!" challenges a Skingrad guard as he walks by.

Kahreem does not answer, too embarrassed now about his armor to come up with some witty comeback. Instead, he goes to work on the nearest manor-home, which is locked with a 4-tumbler. ... And then he has a moment of clarity.

"Ah-hah." He begins checking through his manpurse, specifically at all the keys he's got. "Found you!" He removes one of his many keys, which has the name Glarthir stenciled upon its haft. "Now, I not only have a place to loot, I've got a place to stay."

He begins searching around, vaguely remembering that crazy elf Glarthir lived in a corner home. It takes him about a half-hour to find the place.

"How goes it?" asks an orc in commoner clothes.

"Stand aside, citizen," Kahreem begins. "We have reason to believe the Gray Fox is hiding in here, and I have a writ to search the premises."

"Okay. If you say so," the orc says warily.

"And hey, maybe you can help me with something."

"What can I do for you?"

"Just stay here and watch for any other guards," the Redguard replies, handing the orc a handful of gold. "If you see any coming in this door, knock three times loudly, so that I know backup reinforcements are finally here."

"We understand each other perfectly."

"Good. Now just stay here, and do as I say."

"You've got a real bounce to your step!" says the orc. "You must be quite the acrobat." The orc immediately begins walking away after this quip.

"Hey hey no, where are you going? .... You can't walk away, come back!"

But the orc is gone, leaving the Redguard outside on this hot, summer day.

"FOKKE!"

-------------------------

Glarthir's Notes

Symmetrical Full Frontal Camera Angle Shot (aka Lopov shot)

Guess they didn't understand each other perfectly then after all

So Kahreem carries a ton of keys around in his manpurse.

Darn unreliable orc commoners!

Acadian: He's got the most keys of any of my characters, on his person at all times. I mean, a lot of mine will collect keys, but they'll store them in their homes or with their horse. Kahreem actually, physically carries most of his around, just for opportunities like that one.

The nice thing is he also has about two-dozen castle-type keys. He can break into pretty much any of the castle private sections if he wants to.

mirocu: ha ha, you got that right.

-------------

Tirdas, 3:42 pm, Sun's Height 23, 3rd Era 434

Days Passed: 331
Days Jailed: 121
Bounty: .... 250
Infamy: .... 44




"Don't be the last to read today's ... Black Horse Courier!"

The sound of this statement perks the ears of Arvena Thelas, and her eyes light up. "Over here!" she calls, enthusiastically. As the Redguard crier approaches, a man wearing rather foppish-looking town clothes, Arvena squeals "I didn't know the Black Horse Courier delivers here in Anvil, this must be new! May I have a copy?"

"Certainly, ma'am," answers the Redguard, tossing her one.

"I'm Arvena Thelas, by the way. They call me 'the rat lady,' on account of all my pet rats."

"Rat lady, huh? ... I'm ... uh ... Cicerus. Cicerus the Courier. And I just arrived here to start up the new Anvil branch of the Black Horse Courier. I hope my assignment lasts awhile; I like it here. Anvil has the Hammerfell style."

"I see."

"Well have a quick read of this week's latest story, why don't you?"

Arvena immediately takes this advice, and puts her book aside. She barely notices when the sunny day around her begins to fog. "Oh my ... Redguard Thief Terrorizes Cyrodiil's Wealthy and Business Elite?, oh how dreadful!" says she.

"Uh, yes, such a shame. I personally penned that one myself," says the Redguard in foppish clothes. "Been doing a lot of research on the man everyone is referring to as the Weet Bandit."

"Oh my!" says Arvena again. "He's wanted in connection with the Gray Fox, oh how dreadful!"

Just then, Caenlorn, the brother in blue, walks over and sits beside her.


"Everyone wants to know about the Gray Fox," he opines. "'Gray Fox this, Gray Fox that.' He's just a man, not a Daedric lord. I've heard it all. They say he's immortal because he's led the Thieves Guild for over 300 years."

"My cousin says the beggars all work for the Gray Fox," answers Arvena. "It's rather frightening."

"Is that so?"

"Abso-lutely."

The Redguard had wandered off a bit, but now he walks over to where this pair of townies are gabbing. "Everybody needs a copy of ... Black Horse Courier," he screams at them.

"I read the Black Horse Courier once in a while," Caenlorn replies, mostly to the dark elf beside him. "Mostly I just use if for kindling. There's no telling if anything in it is actually true."

"Oh, it's true, alright. Here sir, have yourself a copy."

"Sure, if you say so." Caenlorn takes one. Begins to read. "'Roaming Khajiit Liar Identified as not being such a Liar?'" he asks, his face filled with disgust. "Oh this is just awful. It's really too much."

"You don't like my story about M'aiq the liar?" the Redguard asks, as he pulls out a bottle of wine out of his pack. Arvena notices this wine happens to be the very Cheapest of brands. Strange.

"Black Horse Courier," one of Anvil's guards replies, walking near, and hearing their conversation. "Sensationalistic garbage, journalistic rubbish. There's no telling if any of it is true." As he approaches, Arvena notices the Redguard becomes visibly nervous. He immediately puts away his wine, for instance.

"Oh what a shame," answers Caenlorn. "This is sad news."

"Take care!" the guard replies, and begins walking away.

"Excuse me sir," Arvena says to the Redguard. "Might I have another copy of the Black Horse Courier."

"Sorry," he answers. "Only one copy of the Black Horse Courier per customer, per day."

After he says this, Arvena notices the Redguard seems only too glad to quickly leave the plaza. And then she notices his weapon, a large, disgusting club, which hangs from his belt.

Now why would a Black Horse Courier agent carry such an indecorous weapon?

Kahreem is branching out - Capital!

Very clever!

Hmm, this seems like a new 'disguise' for Kahreem. It'll be interesting to see what his profit angle here is.

Kahreem will never again pay some Orc to help him.



Yeah, in a way that's right, though he didn't actually "pen" it, the event wouldn't made it to the BHC if it weren't for his actons. Looks like everyone indeed needs a copy of the Black Horse Courier.



For some reason this made me chuckle.