I DO have it.

Still, it's a pretty small chance you'll encounter any wild werewolves. I've only encountered a wild werewolf about....3 or 4 times.

Wow you have a spidey sense, too?

That's how I figured it out the first time, probably over a year ago...the 'soldier' who was asking for money sounded like he was lying.

I think when I saw that, the pile of naked corpses and the mismatched armors clued me in.

-snort-

Yeah, I just gave them a hundred coins and let them be on their way. You can't be too careful about folks willing to put on bloody, looted armor.

Wait.



I have one from a few weeks ago:


Hrungnir rides into Riverwood after a day spent babysitting helping that Orc chief in Largashbur. It’s what the film people call magic hour, complete with roseate sky and barely visible moons rising. He is wearing Volendrung on his back, but his plate armor is dented, his face is traveled-stained, and all he wants to do is sell off his loot to Lucan Valerius and disappear into a tankard of mead. As he dismounts one of the guards that now patrols Riverwood walks up and says (in a voice filled with reverence):

“That is one... big hammer!”

Now I don’t often catch myself talking back to the game, but I couldn’t help the ‘F***IN’ A!’ that escaped my mouth at that one.

lmfao!!!!!

I walked out of Nightgate Inn, I think, and a horker fell from the sky. I screeched and threw the controller bahaha!

Another time a dead dragon fell from the sky and I was super confused. Free soul!!

I was in my house in windhelm and a falmer randomly popped out if the ground, spazzzed out, and exploded(sort of)

I haven't gone back to that house since

LOL I think I've seen things fall from the sky randomly , never a horker, though!

If it was a Horker tusk with straps, it would have been more interesting.

EWEWEWEWEWWWWWW! That means someone lost it!

Face it Elizabeth Hollow, that was obviously a rare species of horker. -puts scientist glasses on- In fact, here's the info...

Scientific Name: Volantes Horkerrus

Slang Name: Flying Horker

Species Group: Arctocephalus Austrailus

Description: A wingless, flightless horker that may randomly take to the skies and fall to it's death. Despite its name it can't fly, but magical forces in its adrenal glands may be what cause it to be able to launch itself up into the air.

Diet: An elf named Kayla. May attempt to attack her from the air, but due to its inability to fly, it will most likely land in front if it's prey and die.

I was hoping for more tusk jokes.

I think everyone got the point!

Ok, how would you scold a horker?
Tusk, tusk.

Where did the horker go on vacation?
Tuscany.

What's grey and falling outside the Nightgate Inn?
The tusk fairy.

Want a horker joke? Ok:

A Nord and his pet horker walk into a tavern (now stop me if you've heard this one).
It's only about five bells, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching a brawl, drinking some ale, eating venison chops.
As the night moves on they switch to tankards of mead, knocking them back, one after the other.
Finally, the Nord says: "Ok (hic), one more round, then I've (hic) really got to go."

They get set up and knock them back. Suddenly, the horker falls over ... dead.
The Nord tosses some coins on the table, grabs his axe, and starts to leave.
The tavern keeper points to the horker and says: "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' here!"
The Nord turns, squints, shakes his head, squints again, and then replies:

"That's not a lion (hic), that's a horker!"

*Destri escapes out the back door*

@ jokes

BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Do I murder you or do I fall over laughing?

The tusk jokes!


Perhaps dropped while someone was riding a dragon?

I’ve seen a dead mammoth by the porch upon exiting the Braidwood Inn. It was particularly odd because it wasn’t there when I went in. Everyone was walking around like nothing had happened, but there it was.

I have to write some of these down for Vincent's jokes in my next chapter of the TF!

My new thing of the day? I saw the sun! Seriously. I saw it. I've never just seen the sun all by itself in the Skyrim sky. It's always just slightly too clouded over to discern.

But I finally saw it, all by its round self! I stared at it until my eyes hurt.

-pats LS's head-

you're so pretty :]

maybe these will help next time.

Sapphire: Well hey there. What can Sapphire do for you?

Nightshade, Orc Assassin:

I found a jar of honey the other day, somewhere in the Rift area. Yummy! Mycharonna made sure to grab it and brought it back to her main home: Anise's Cabin.

Kayla found one too! In Haelga's Bunkhouse.

She gave it to Lucia.

That's what happens when you pester me for gifts, child!! XD

Oh that makes sense. Mycharonna has been using that Bunkhouse as a place to 'hide' and sleep in Riften. So that's where she got it.

Did you get to give the honey to Lucia as a gift? Or did you "RP" it as a gift for her?

I gave it to her, lol. She was all "Thanks!" and I go "EWWWWW."

ON a side note, I just got ambushed by some cultist while trying to get the horn from Riverwood. I thought I had to finish the Alduin quest first.

Sweet.

Never found any honey... but, then again, I've never been on the lookout for it. Now I have to go to Haelga's bunkhouse!

Farengar Secret-Fire just hired four thugs to beat the cr@p out of kill me (honestly, do these thugs ever do anything other than come at you weapons hot?). I'm still trying to figure out why.

Who knows? Maybe you grabbed something from his place? Or bumped into him on accident? XD

GAAAAAH! No telling what she used that for! I've seen what is under her bed!

Jensa found Haelga's room to be a source of inspiration. Now there's quite a pile of goods behind the headboard at Hjerim. No "borrowed" honey pot, but there's a honeycomb in the basin.

RIGHT?!

Okay, now I really have to go to Haelga's bunkhouse!

Here is a hint to what you might find there:

Your quotes always make me giggle XD

Teaching Maxical the facts of life was never easy.

Thanks a lot, mALX! You've now ruined horkers for me too!

Don't blame me, blame Haelga. Nothing's ever been the same since I explored her room, some things are just too noteworthy to be left out of a fic.

Stallion Potion of Endurance; Horker Tusks with straps; not to mention the fish. The honey pot and comb, etc, etc, etc. But I digress.


PS - If you ever want to have the phrase "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" ruined for you, let me know. I Maxical can do it!




*

I watched two giant frostbite spiders battle to the death

The sea's lapping on the shores of Solstheim is beautiful...We've never seen that before...

*Sighs wistfully*...

Sweet! I need to visit Solstheim one of these days. Still haven't done so,...

I just learned you can shieldbash with stuff that isn't a shield. Use one sword? Bash that stuff. Use a bow? Bash that guy away from your face. Have a torch out? SET SKEEVERS ON FIRE!

And yeah, Solstheim's shores are a piece of beauty.

EDIT: Turns out the torch thing was in the second post. Ah well, still cool.

I don't know if the horsemeat scandal thing we've been having here has crossed the pond yet...

But the wife went into Telvanni Tower in the south of Solstheim the other day and discovered the source of the problem...

On a table in the kitchen...Right next to each other...

Beef...And Horsemeat!!...

It's all their fault!!!...



Robert would also like to admit to loving the design of the Daedric realm of Apocrypha...Yes, yes I do...

And the seekers...Not the folk band btw...They're twee... ...

Yep, go on...




Also I should mention that even more dangerous than mystery meat is that levitation thingie. The source of many a glitched follower. I always save before entering.



Me too. It's very fun to hear everyone's impressions of DB! Makes me itchy to play it!

cloudy, that one-handed weapon bash is one of my favorites. Makes an agile, unarmored swordsman great fun. And as you suggest, toasted skeevers!

Those seekers are creepy! They look like ascended sleepers from house Dagoth! Blech!

Yeah, and you can get the spell to conjour one of them in Apocrypha... ...

The wife loved that levitation thing...She spent about five minutes messing about, until the kids were like, "Mummeeeeee!! Get on with it! "...

Oh, and I'm loving the new perks tha Apocrypha gives you...*Points and waggles eyebrows...Like this... ...But less creepy...Yeah "says me"...What you sayin'?...*...

Oh, I love the levitation thing! But damned Torvar kept falling off the ledge!

I got a surprise when I loaded Denelle's game today. The cultists came at her, that was expected. But then a few minutes later out on the road three more cultists attacked! (They didn't have a note.) I wonder if a random cultist world event gets added for Dovahkiins who don't haul their tails to Solstheim.