Chapter 1; Character Generation in Oblivion

Sinder Velvin: "Hey, what the hell is going on over there?"

Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "Oh, don't worry. This is how the plot in Oblivion starts."

Sinder Velvin: "And who's that bald guy over there?"

Other Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "Hey, don't you go calling our emperor bald! But, wait a minute, isn't he supposed to die in a few seconds?"

Assasin: "I wouldn't know that. I haven't read the script. Right now, I'm just improvising."

Other Assasin: "Hey, guys, shouldn't that Sinder Velvin guy generate his character?"

Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "You know, you've got a point. But how do you know his name if he hasn't even selected it yet?"

Other Assasin: "I... Uh... Guessed?"

Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "Ok, then. Hey, Player guy, could you please tell us your name?"

Sinder Velvin: "Why?"

Other Assasin: "Well, you know, the sooner you choose your name, the sooner I can go home to my wife and my two children."

Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "But how will you do that if you're dead?"

Other Assasin: "I won't actually die. This is a role-playing game, right? Can't I pretend to be dead?"

Other Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "Dunno... I guess."

Sinder Velvin: "Are you telling me that you never actually die? You just pretend to die!?"

Other Assasin: "Do you actually think that I would take a job that has me killed? No way, buddy. No way."

Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "Ok, enough. Sinder Velvin, please tell us your name."

Assasin: "He's a smart fellow, that one."

Sinder Velvin: "But don't you already know my name?"

Other Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "Yes, we do. So, next question: what race are you?"

Sinder Velvin: "You could look at me and see."

Other Assasin: "Come on, man! You know character generation doesn't work that way!"

Sinder Velvin: "I have pointy ears, dark skin, red eyes. What could I be?"

Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "A cucumber? How the hell should I know? Hey, buddy, I don't get paid to know Elder Scrolls lore!"

Sinder Velvin: "Fine, then. I'm a Dark Elf, AKA Dunmer."

Assasin: "Next question... How do you want us to generate your class?"

Sinder Velvin: "Let me choose from a list."

Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "Hey, assasin fellow, please stop attacking me for a minute. I want to give this list to whats-his-name."

Assasin: "No problem."

Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "Here you go, mate. Please choose quickly. I'm getting bored."

Sinder Velvin: "Could you give me some tips?"

Other Assasin: "So he wants tips now! Hey, I'm hungry! Please, hurry."

Sinder Velvin: "Alright, alright. I want to be a wizard."

Other Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "That's cool with us. Now, what gender did you say you were?"

Other Assasin: "Whoops, we forgot to ask him that."

Sinder Velvin: "Oh, come on! I'm quitting this game."

Guard That Is Fighting An Assasin: "What about us? If you quit, we don't get our paychecks!"

Sinder Velvin: "Well, that's too bad."