"I happen to like to shoot first, Rekkon. As opposed to shooting second." - Han Solo from Han Solo At Star's End, by Brian Daley.

I have and always will be your friend. Spock from Wrath of Khan.

Ash to Eldridge from Evil Dead: A Fistfull of Boomstick:
"Your mouth is like my ass, nothing good ever comes out of it.

"I have a bad feeling about this"

-Approximately half the Star Wars universe

"The Lord said to John, 'Come forth and receive Eternal Life.' But John came fifth and won a toaster oven."

Bahahaha!

"If wars can be started by lies, peace can be started by truth"


-Julian Assange

-Barney Stinson

"Tyler no likey!"

- Tyler (Grant) Stinson

"Only dead fish go with the flow"




-Me

"Shoot ze glass!"

-Hans Gruber

One of my all time favorite movies!

"Earn your sleep."

"Quick!!! What's the number for 911???????" - Al Bundy

(I hoped to find a YouTube clip of Bundy saying this. Alas, while there are a number of "What's the number for 911?" videos at YouTube, I did not notice Bundy's utterance amongst them. I don't know if Married With Children originated the quip, but it was certainly my first exposure to it.)

And the worst part is, more than likely no one in his family could answer him,

"You have to choose between trusting to the natural stability of gold and the natural stability of the honesty and intelligence of the members of the Government. And, with due respect for these gentlemen, I advise you as long as the Capital system lasts, to vote for gold"



- George Bernard Shaw

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"It's easier to fool people than convince them they have been fooled"


-Mark Twain

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"The earth is not spinning on a globe at 1039MPH nor is earth 4.9 billion years old, absurdities that you were taught and which stemmed from the Masonic, Royal Society in London"


-Dr Lawrence Cohen, Ex Mossad Agent, U.S Intelligence

“The idea of 10 dimensions might sound exciting, but they would cause real problems if you forget where you parked your car.”
― Stephen Hawking, The Grand Design

In Evil Dead Regeneration one of my favorite random quote is:
Sam: Every time you waste me I get dirt in my mouth!
Ash: Aw--Boohoo.

From HelloGreedo from YouTube.
"The horse has decomposed and turned into a flower garden..."

Hey Reaps, have you seen the series Ash vs. Evil Dead?

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.

-Seneca

I don't have cable .

Ecck, my bad. It comes on Starz, but if you ever come across it, it's a good watch for Evil Dead fans.

That's okay, the next time I go to the store and see the dvd series I'll get them. I've been wanting to see it for some time now .

It's pretty much what you'd expect. Lots of camp, and awesome Ash quotes.

"The mainstream media is nothing but liars"


-Red Ice TV (youtube)

Not the most witty or humorous of quotes, but certainly one of the most apropos and significant for these modern times.

Red Ice TV is super antisemtic and LGBTphobic though....

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/O6hMutT_AVI/maxresdefault.jpg

hmmm

Too many of them, in real life and in video games.

In regards to video games, just about anything Cyrus says from The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard. Like my signature for example:
"I so do love mortal fantasy. I'll play along: what will you give me for the soul of Prince A'Tor?"
"I'll spell your name right on your tombstone."

And of course, this has to be included: https://youtu.be/tEPYlJLvcEM?t=4m33s
How can you not get pumped up by that?

And a G-Man quote from Half-Life 2: "The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world."

I absolutely LOVE that Redguard cinematic!

Philosophical Quotes from the master:

"Man who run in front of plane get tired. Man who run behind plane get exhausted."

"Woman who fly plane upside down have crackup."

--------------------------------------------------- attributed to Confucius

Confucius say: "Man who go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with smelly finger..."

EW!


Confucius say: "Man who go to church smelly sit in own pew..."

Where you see darkness, I see stars. - Guardians of the Whills

"A home that becomes a prison, is no longer a home". By unknown.

"Don't ever believe anything you read on the Internet."

- (Insert Improbable Historical Figure Here)

Confucius say: "I never said that!"

"History is a set of lies agreed upon"

-Napoleon

Yeah like the one that he was really short! Most historians agree that he was of average height for his day.

"I'll tell you one thing. If the primates that we came from had known that someday politicians would come out of the gene pool, they'd have stayed up in the trees and written evolution off as a bad idea! Hell, I always thought the opposable thumb was overrated!"

-Captain John Sheridan, Babylon 5

Confucius say: "Man who stand on toilet, high on pot."

Confucius say: "Man who go to church smelly sit in own pew"

"Basically anything coming out of a 12 gauge shotgun is anything but a whimp-load"


-Hickok45

"The enemy must not know where I intend to give battle. For if he does not know where I intend to give battle he must prepare in a great many places. And when he prepares in a great many places, those I have to fight in any one place will be few."- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Seems very relevant right now.

I really like this one - actually used its advice in my fic on here, but in the parts of the book that never made it to being posted because of the stroke!

"You can't be neutral on a moving train"

'Mages are revered for their mastery of the arcane, yet reviled for using it.'

Archmage Shalador

Ice Cream.

- Who Knows

"Look for the Force, and you will always find me." - Chirrut Imwe