Okaay, Chapter 59. Might not take me as long as I'd first thought, I've been well and truly hooked here, 6+ hours and counting (and a very irate Dawn wondering what the hell I'm doing up here.)

Had to pop downstairs to make a cuppa and have a cig, and get a few things straight in my mind, especially as the tone in the last few chapters has changed dramatically. The characters are wonderfully drawn, deep and rich, and deeply flawed - and interestingly, they act and make decisions from those flawed perspectives. I'm finding it quite compelling to read about them, especially as I'm never quite sure what they'll do next, or indeed from which perspective they'll make their next decision.

Which brings me to why I needed that caffeine break. As I'm reading, I'm finding myself querying more and more concepts of free will. None of the characters seem to be coming from that perspective. Janus is using mind control to manipulate Fathis, as well as reading the mind and keeping Agronak alive. Agronak in turn is using mind control to manipulate Gils, who in turn uses his wiles, voice and eyes to manipulate Maxical. Who has been unconciously manipulating Fathis from the very start, who in turn...is getting crapped on by everybody. I feel quite sorry for Fathis to be honest

It's fascinating to see characters making decisions, based on what they believe to be their own choice, but which the reader can see the hidden strings that are making them dance. Seeing as Vicente and Ocheeva have just appeared, I wanted to make sure I had all the current threads clear in my mind, before yet more are introduced.

Phew. Onto chapter 60 then!

Chapter 93. It's half past midnight, and I am not going to bloody bed till I've caught up.

I'm going to be like a zombie at work tomorrow. Erm, today. Oh well...

It is intoxicating, and the conversation with Janus... despite all the action, the devious plotting, that section had me leaning forward on the edge of my seat. My neck, my shoulders had actual tension in them.

p.s. I'm on Team Fathis at this point of the story, I'm dying to know what the outcome of all this is!

Now back to 94...

Up to date!!



It was 2 am this morning when I reached that point, but it was worth every second. Now I'm in the same position as everyone else. Desperately waiting to find out what happens next

Can't wait!

*

@ King Coin - I usually free-type characters (then read and edit) so their interactions come out naturally - and found it really odd that Vicente readily took off and left Malvulis when she was being attacked by the Captain, but protected Seridur when these situations arose. I kept it in the story because I found it intriguing, in spite of it going against Vicente's usual actions. Not sure if this is a 'vampires stick together' thing; if it was that women are a dime a dozen to Vicente; or maybe that Seridur looked up to him like a mentor - I doubt Vicente gets that very often. I like the chemistry between them too, and it was nice to see some redeeming qualities in Vicente other than his prowess in the sack for a change, lol. Thank you so much KC !!!!

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@ Foxy - Thank you so very much Foxy !!! And WOO HOO!!! You are BACK !!!

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@ Grits -

ROFL !!! I can see it now; I drop in on friends with a carload of packed bags and they spray me with one of those old-time bug foggers, lol !!

I never noticed his name on the tax list either, but happened across that little tidbit while I was researching his part in the story - could NOT leave that out, lol !!!

Thank you so much Grits !!!!

***
@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian !!! You pulled out some of my own favorite lines in that chapter! Marooned Dragon - ROFL !!! He will never be taken as a serious threat again, lol !!!!

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@ Lady Syl - I am so glad to hear you say that, and thank you so very much!! The truth is, I hate writing fight scenes, and avoid them whenever possible. Anything I know about fighting I learned from an immersive guide by Foxy that teaches battle techniques/weapons usage/etc. :

"Of Blades, Fights, and Assassins, Martial Arts techniques for Combat Writing"

http://forums.bethsoft.com/?showtopic=1037618


Foxy is the resident expert, and I run any fight scripts by him before posting them and still pelter him with hundreds of questions till he goes AWOL to avoid the harrassment, lol. Thank you so much, Syl !

***
@ Rainbow Veins - Thank you so very much Rainbow Veins! I so appreciate hearing that, and especially loved this: - ROFL !!! Great wordplay, and fitting! It means a lot to me that you like Maxical and the story, Thank You so much !!

***
@ Chef TK - Thank you so much TK !!! ROFL - taking down Malan with her singing, you had me rolling with that !! So glad to have you back TK !!

***
@ Zalphon - Thank you so much Zalphon - it won't be thick long, everything is about to explode wide open, lol. (finally). Thanks again, Zalphon !!

***
@ Burnt Sierra - It really meant a lot to me that you read the story through and liked it, your kind words are so appreciated !!! I want to send my appreciation to Dawn as well, tell her she ROCKS for not coming up with the rolling pin that day/night !! Thank you again Burnt Sierra, this meant so much to hear!

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Chapter 110: Faction Updates: Seridur



******* Ocato



High Chancellor Ocato twitched nervously. What a mistake he had made in dealing with Mankar Camoran. The plans for a simple political assassination…Camoran turned them into the destruction of Cyrodiil by enlisting Mehrunes Dagon’s assistance. The second Ocato heard that he knew Camoran wanted the power for himself. He wouldn’t ally a Daedric Lord to help anyone but himself into the throne.

Camoran’s own son had confirmed that. For a brief second the thought flickered through Ocato’s mind to go to Uriel and expose Camoran’s plot…leaving his own name out of it. Uriel’s assassins would be sent, though…and Camoran may have ample proof of Ocato’s complicity.

There was only one thing he could do, hire his own team of assassins. Kill Camoran and that loose lipped son of his…and Seridur, who knew all. Close permanently the mouths of anyone who could carry tales of his treasonous plotting to Uriel Septim.

Only a few Battlemages were resting up in the dorm room, everyone had been ordered out to clear vampires from the Palace district.

“Why aren’t you out with the others, slacking on your duties?” Ocato’s piercing voice pulled them scrambling from their beds instantly.

“No, High Chancellor. We were shifted to rest up and regain our magicka.”

“Use the fount then, we can’t win this war with sleeping Battlemages! Since you’re here, I have a special assignment I need carried out immediately. You two!” Ocato pointed. “A tall Altmer just left here with forged immunity documents, follow him. He is a vampire, so use extreme stealth. We need to know where he is nesting. When you find his lair you are to kill every living creature in it. Move fast once you begin. I want them killed before they can utter a sound. If anyone speaks it will be lies to save themselves, you are not to believe a word they say. …Well MOVE!” Ocato’s shrill voice sent them flying out of the room.

“Yes, High Chancellor!”

Ocato turned to the remaining Battlemage. “Your instructions are exactly the same, but you have a different target and will handle it alone. There is a man named Raven Camoran who was living in the sewers below the city…”









******* Seridur


Seridur wrinkled his nose at the stench of burned flesh permeating the sewers since that blast. The network of connecting lines ran below the city and exited into Lake Rumare. A quick swim from there to his cave…Seridur paused. The stairwell leading to the basement of the ‘First Edition Bookstore’ loomed in front of him.

His hand moved to the inner pocket of his cuirass and touched the two scrolls from Ocato guaranteeing Vicente’s and his safety…diplomatic immunity. He had done it, slain the dragon for Vicente…given him the freedom to leave that sanctuary and live without fear.

The feeling of elation and accomplishment that filled him when Ocato handed him the scrolls had caused tears to well up in his eyes...he had shed them unashamed in front of Ocato.

Seridur glanced up the stairwell before coming to a decision. There was time before Vicente would arrive at the cave…time to end his relationship with Phintias. Vicente would never be his, he knew that. But Phintias would never be…Vicente. Seridur hurried up the steps and used his key to enter the basement.

“Seridur!”

Seridur sidestepped Phintias’s attempted embrace. “I can’t stay, Phintias. I am leaving on an extended trip…I may not be returning to the Imperial City. I stopped in to say goodbye, and…release you from our relationship. The store is yours to keep…”

“Release me from…“ Phintias’s shocked expression rapidly purpled in rage. “You think you can just dump me?” The rage never left Phintias’s eyes or voice, but he struggled to force a look of composure onto his face. “Who is it, Seridur? You vowed to make your will in my favor not a week ago. Now it’s over, like that?” Phintias snapped his fingers under Seridur’s nose, bumping it hard as he did.

“You hounded me night and day to get that promise out of me, Phintias; just as you did to get this bookstore. The store has made you wealthy in your own right, you have no need of my funds or inheritance now. I hoped we could part amicably.”


“You’ve got another thing coming, then. I won‘t be tossed aside Seridur, you can forget it! Now WHO IS IT! I’ll paint the city with his blood, and yours too! Tell me right now, Seridur; did you put me in your will or was that a lie too?” Phintias was breathing hard, his fists clenching and unclenching.

Seridur fidgeted, unsure if Phintias would lose control of those fists if he admitted he had not changed the will as promised. One lie…he could leave here and never see Phintias again.

“D-do you doubt me? Of c-course I changed th-the will.” Seridur’s eyes flickered under Phintias’s intense glare.

“That better be the truth, or…”

Without finishing his sentence Phintias lunged, his fist plowing into Seridur’s eye. Through a blur of flashing lights spinning in his vision Seridur saw the fist coming back for another blow. He ducked away but not fast enough. The fist connected, glancing off his cheekbone with a crushing sound.

The impact sent him staggering backwards, stumbling over an ill placed chest. The back of his head cracked against a hard surface and then he found himself laying on his back on the floor. Through the haze before his eyes Seridur tried to crawl to the front door, screaming for the guards. A hard boot smashed his rib cage with a sickening crunch, then again into his arm. Phintias’s shouting became indistinguishable as words; sounding like it was coming from another room…then another realm as Seridur began slipping from consciousness.

His casting arm felt bent at an odd angle and wouldn’t move when he tried it. With effort he pulled his other arm up and touched the scrolls in his inner pocket. The parchment felt soggy and tore easily at the touch of his fingers. His fingers felt warm and wet as he drew them out, blood dripped from them.





The continuous kicks no longer brought pain, only the dull thudding crunch of Phintias’s boot against his bones. Seridur tried to crawl on his knees and one elbow. The boot smashed into his jaw, crushing it...he could no longer scream for help. A whimpering sounded from his right lung, and suddenly he was strangling to breath.












******* Vicente


Vicente pulled his dripping frame onto the sandy bank using the broad stern of the Maria Elena as a shield from the Legion guards. Malvulis’s laughter floated down to him from the upper deck high above him. He cast chameleon and pulled himself up onto the pier, a watery trail following his movements as he skimmed along the pile of crates by the gangplank trying to avoid the torches lighting the dock area.

"Ho hey, sweet lady of Wayrest! Ho hey, sweet lady of mine! Oh I'll see you again, yes I'll see you again, sweet lady of Wayrest so fine!" The singing pirate nearly tripped over the invisible Vicente.

“HEY! What’s this?” The Legion dock guard pointed his baton at the water trail leading to the crates.

"I ain't got nothin' to say to you, fancy pants. So why don't you mind your own business, huh?" The pirate leaned over and spat a large lugie onto Vicente’s invisible hand. He waited till the Legionnaire shrugged and walked away before inspecting the water trail that was now moving across the gangplank.

“Whoever you are, you better shove off!” He spat again, this time directly at the head of the ever moving trail.

The gob hit Vicente in the back of the head. Instead of continuing to try and sneak on board, Vicente made a run for it, trying to shimmy quickly up to the top deck while hollering, “Malvulis!”

“Vicente, is that you?”

He could see Malvulis glancing around for him, but didn’t want to dispel the chameleon spell with the other pirate on his heels. Being chased by the vampire hunters then Seridur, the long swim down the Rumare from the sewer exit…Vicente’s limbs weren’t responding with the boost he needed to heave himself to the upper level.

A rock-hard fist drove into the center of his back. “Got ye!” The pirate growled and began raining blows.

“Malvulis, call this dog off me!” Vicente yelled.

“Jon! Let him be, he‘s a friend.”

The pounding stopped. Vicente found the ladder to the upper deck and hurried up it, dispelling the chameleon after he got to the top. “Malvulis…” Vicente took a step toward her, his arms spread open wide at the radiant smile that spread across her face when she saw him. Love and joy. It was still there after all this time.

As his foot moved to take another step toward her Vicente suddenly found himself struggling to breath, strangling as if he were miles underwater and the pressure was compressing his lungs…what tasted like blood was flooding his nose and mouth at once.

Vicente flung his head back, gasping as the air around him darkened to pitch and Malvulis faded from his vision in the black void of it.





“SERIDUR!” Vicente’s shout echoed back from the trees that lined the shore across the Rumare.

In one swift motion Vicente turned away from Malvulis and dove from the bridge of the Maria Elena. The black depths swirled and churned around him as he fought to the surface against the strong undercurrent of the channel.

Vicente hesitated before choosing to risk the City Isle gate rather than swim against the undertow all the way to the sewer entrance and having to double back again. He slid through the gate before thinking to use chameleon…too late.

“Halt right there…” A gauntleted hand slammed down on Vicente’s shoulder in a tight grip and spun him around as another hand jerked the cowl back from his face. “I got me one! It’s a vampire!” The man shouted.

Vicente snarled and hissed into the man’s face as he struggled to break free of the grip.

“GAAAAH!” The man’s eyes were bulging, his shaking hand was struggling to pull his sword from the scabbard.

“Don’t make me kill you." Vicente growled a fraction of an inch from his face, the acidy drippings from his fangs flecking into the man‘s eyes like a spitting snake.

“GAAAAH! He’s blinded me!” The man released Vicente and staggered in a circle rubbing his eyes.

Before Vicente could break into a run the fabric of the night sky was rent with a bone chilling scream that reverberated off the city walls and buildings, that sound...he would never forget it. An ancient dying. Centuries crumbled away and for a split second Vicente was hiding in that forest again, hunted...his brethren being picked off one by one, their death screams splitting the nights.

“SERIDUR!” Vicente’s voice echoed back from the high city wall. “Seridur…no.” Vicente slumped against the wall and tipped his head back. “NOOOOOO!”



*

Seridur getting stomped by Phintias. I enjoyed that section quite a bit. The mental communication when Seridur was being killed was a neat touch. Vicente now has a hit squad on him. Here's hoping they catch him! I'm hating Ocato more and more.

Good chapter! I can't wait to find out what happens next!!! and kill Ocato!

There was time before Vicente would arrive at the cave…time to end his relationship with Phintias.

Uh oh. That never goes badly.

The spitting pirate was inspired, and gross!! I could completely see him doing that!

Before Vicente could break into a run the fabric of the night sky was rent with a bone chilling scream that reverberated off the city walls and buildings, that sound...he would never forget it. An ancient dying. Centuries crumbled away and for a split second Vicente was hiding in that forest again, hunted...his brethren being picked off one by one, their death screams splitting the nights.

You actually made me feel bad for Seridur and Vicente!! To borrow a phrase, AWESOME WRITE, mALX!! What's going to happen next?!

Wow! A stunning reminder of Ocato's dealing with Camoran and, by extension, Macaroni Dragon. Ocato has unleashed the hounds to save his Altmeri bacon.

A very vivid scene with Seridur and Phintias that did not go well at all for Seridur.

Ugh! Vincente covered with spit! Double ugh! Lol.

Like KC said, the mystic communication between Seridur and Vincente was neat as can be.

And although the wise Grits already quoted this, you must forgive me for quoting it again:
'Before Vicente could break into a run the fabric of the night sky was rent with a bone chilling scream that reverberated off the city walls and buildings, that sound...he would never forget it. An ancient dying. Centuries crumbled away and for a split second Vicente was hiding in that forest again, hunted...his brethren being picked off one by one, their death screams splitting the nights.'

What a fantastically mundane end to a fantastic vampire!

Too bad he had to die in such pain at the hands of an insane, clingy idiot, though. I wanted to see him run through by Fathis after an epic battle between him, Fathis, Malan, and the Dread Pirate Roberts! He could've shown up shirtless with a rainbow sword, and then we could all go out at the end for beers and share a few more swords!

But alas, it is not to be. Now I must watch in... well, not horror, but disgust as he bleeds to death at the hands of an imbecile. Remind me to slit that rude bookworm's throat next time I see him.

Vincent is something else, heh.

Yelp! reading, reading, not up to date yet! But I'll get there! oh aye! Bear with me lovely kitty cat...I'm coming, reading and loving every word!

haha seems like Burnie and I got back almost on the same time...funny!

Chapter 8 review
Sorry it’s been so long since I posted… I’ve fallen way behind, of late…

Owyn was right that I needed to train harder, but training is never against someone who wants to actually see you dead. How smug one can get when they do well in a practice…but it is all a game, play acting. There is nothing serious in that practice room.

Your insight here is excellent.


Eventually you become inured to the things that go on in the Bloodworks. After a while it becomes no big deal to see anything. I stopped gaping at everything that went on there and my eyes went back into my head. I doubt there is much that could surprise me or shock me now.

I felt some sadness at the loss of innocence Maxical went through in the Bloodworks, but again you gave such great insight into how easily people can be numbed from just seeing things on a daily basis… Maxical is growing up, perhaps too quickly—but such is life.

I loved the friendship between Agronak and Maxical, and their ability to understand each other. Beautiful—I hope you went into it a little more in the next chapter perhaps. I will soon see for myself, I suppose.

EDIT: I've also been meaning to ask how you get screenshots of Maxical... I've noticed many of you have screenshots from your game, and I would love to add some to my own stories (like Tandilwen, who is one of my characters in Oblivion... )

PC game - all you have to do is find your Obliviion.ini file in your documents, change the "ballowscreenshots from Zero to One. (1)

On the 360 you can buy the camera attachment for your 360 and make vids or screenshots of your games (or yourself playing them if you like, lol) and save them to your gamertag.

I have no idea how it works on the PS3, but it is probably like the 360.

Chapters 9 & 10

Yay! More detail into Maxical and Agronak's friendship! Just what I was hoping for! I always liked Agronak--he is better than most orcs, and I always hated having to kill him to become Grand Champion...

A singing cat...lol. I can imagine the responses she would get--and I'm glad you gave some of them. At least Agronak likes her singing. And kudos to Maxical for not letting the others stop her from singing and dancing--afterall, those are both artforms, and art is meant for the artist, not for the critic. It is a form of self-expression, and I'm glad that Maxical is able to keep it up, despite the fact that she's not very...talented at it!

You'd be surprised what moves you can think up when you're skewered on a man's longsword.--I'm glad I wasn't taking a drink of anything when she said that, or it would have been sprayed all over the place! At first I thought I must have a dirty mind, but then I realized you definitely meant it to sound dirty.... Excellent line! It's hilarious!

All I can say is, poor naive little Maxical! lol. And then when she called Haki the Bold "Haki the Bald!" To find out that was just a joke everyone made up when she was new, and she was too gullible to realize that even after seeing it printed in the Black Horse Courier... Embarrassing... I sympathize with her...

Owyn was strutting around like a banty rooster that had just routed a fox from the henhouse.--Excellent illustration. It was more than fitting.

And the scene at the end of Chapter 10, in Varnado's perspective... Isn't it sad how much people make assumptions without knowing the full story and then spread their rumors like chickens in a henhouse?! People spend too much time gossiping about others, when perhaps they should be focusing on something closer to home.... I truly felt for Maxical in these chapters, perhaps more than in previous ones. But it's nice to see that being in the Bloodworks hasn't completely stripped her of her naivete.

Howdy par'ner, I'm just writing to say "Hey!" and to let you know that I am catching up on the 7 months ( ) worth of reading I have missed so you should expect a further comment congratulating you on your awesomeness sometime over the weekend.

WOO HOO !!! Welcome back !!! You probably didn't miss as much as you think, I have been posting very slow and took a few months off, lol. Thanks, Hazmick!! You have been missed !!!

mALX, you truly are an awesome writer I feel privigeled to read such a well written and totally cool story . The way you weave plots and craft characters is truly amazing. I have been laughing and keep finding myself going "NO WAY!" as I have been reading tonight. I am loving your vampire storyline! It has given me lots of inspiration for my vampire character that I made all those many months ago because of your very wordsmithing (He's doing well, living in Deepscorn Hollow as a Crimson Scar)

Many writers would probably lose track of so many characters but you keep them all going and keep them all awesome! I particularly love what you've done with Vicente and Jak and of course I love Maxical's sense of humour, even in a crisis she is still cracking jokes (Haa-Rei had to leave the room several times because his laughter was keeping me from reading)

I'd like to say more but the death of Seridur has me lost for words brilliantly done!

There was one more thing I wanted to say...what was it now?...oh yeah...YOU ROCK!!!!!!

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Just checking....

Malx im reading Maxicals story again, and chapter 4: school years has had me in hysterics. My housemates have come in asking me whats so funny...

Im trying to catch up, and i can see ill be laughing my way through this story again

[quote name='mALX' post='120858' date='Nov 30 2010, 11:10 AM']
He pressed his mouth over mine, trying to force it open. His lips burned and his tongue brought searing hot juices into my mouth.

The cut on my lip broke open, the trickle of blood mingled with his juices. In a flash the hypnotic look in his eyes was gone, replaced with…lust. He went into a frenzy, sucking every bit of those searing juices back from my mouth. I had no strength left to fight him and steeled myself for the rape I was sure would follow.

For just a split second he drew his mouth back from mine and I tried to call for help, but only a gasp of breath escaped. His reaction was instantaneous, his lust was spent immediately and without him removing his pants. My relief was short lived.[/quote]
I think I need a cigarette.
[/quote]

I know what you mean Destri... BRB feeding the addiction... darn Malx lol

@ King Coin - Thank you so much KC !! I'm really glad that mental communication came across as it was meant to, I wasn't sure if it would !!! Thanks again so much, KC !! You are always appreciated !!!

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@ Grits -

"What could possibly go wrong?" ROFL !!! Thank you so much for your kind words, Grits!! Coming from you especially, that means tons to hear !!!

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@ Acadian - Thank you so much, Acadian !!! You can't imagine how much your kind words mean, it makes my day every time I read that! Thank You so very much!!

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@ Chef TK - Thank you so much TK !! Phintias is always rude to my character, even when you buy something at his ridiculously high prices, lol. He smiles to your face when taking your money, but as soon as you turn to leave he snarls "Good DAY!" like he just caught you stealing or something, lol. I can't stand him, couldn't wait to make him a worthless piece of crap in my story, lol. Thank you, TK !!!

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@ Zalphon - Vicente is my favorite character to torment in my stories, lol. Thank you so much Zalphon !!

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@ Minque - Yeah !!! You have come back to amongst the living !!! WOO HOO !!! Thank you so much, Minque !! You have been greatly missed !!

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@ Lady Syl - Thank you so much Syl !!! I love to hear your take on and insights into the changes in Maxical !! You captured exactly what I hoped would come across, that means a lot to hear !!

That had to be my favorite line in that chapter, as soon as I typed it I thought ... uh oh, lol. Couldn't resist leaving it in there, and it ended up inspiring a couple chapters, lol.

I won't admit to any embarrassing incidents based on my own naivety or being the butt of anyone's jokes, lol. Let's just say that if you are speaking over a PA system, never let anyone ask you to page "Mike Hunt." - There are a few more as well, but I'm happy to say I learned fairly quickly, lol.

Maxical's reputation taking hits at the hands of gossipers ... er ... let's just say that won't be the last time that happens, lol. Thank you so much for your comments and insights, Syl !! It is very appreciated !!!

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@ Hazmick - You have been so missed !!! I am so glad you read and enjoyed the story !! (and especially that it made you laugh, that means tons to me !!) Your kind words mean a lot to me, and are so appreciated !!! Thank you again, Hazmick !!! (and welcome back !! WOO HOO !!!)

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@ Treydoggie - Er ... meow? ROFL !!! Thanks so much for popping in, Trey!! Boy are you ever missed !!!

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@ Doommeister - WOO HOO !!! So glad to see you here - and even more glad that you are enjoying it !!! Thank you so much for your kind words, that means tons to hear !!

There were two places in the story I wasn't sure if I should edit down (both with vampires) - that was the second one. The first one was from the vampire's point of view as the attacker, this one (what the victim thinks and feels while being attacked). It was really hard to describe without getting a bit graphic, but that should be the last one, lol.

Thank you so very much for reading and that the story caused you laughter !!! That is what I love to hear !!

MalX: Mike Hunt! Mike Hunt! Has anyone seen Mike Hunt???
Foxy: Oh...you want me to find York Hunt?
MalX: NO! I'm looking for MIKE HUNT, not YORK HUNT!!!
Foxy: Mike Hunt doesn't exist, but I can find York Hunt!
MalX: Huh? Mike Hunt doesn't exist? Is that true?
Foxy: No, no, it does exist! It's down under!
MalX: WHAT? Mike Hunt is in AUSTRALIA???? Then WHY THE H- are they asking me to find him HERE?
Foxy: No it's not in AUSTRALIA!!! It's under the BUSH!!!
Malx: Mike Hunt is a BUSHMAN??? Then....he's in SOUTH AFRICA!!!
Foxy: Oh just reach down and grab with both hands!!!
MalX: Don't be silly! I can't reach all the way to Africa!!!
Foxy: No, but you can sure reach York Hunt!
MalX: I'm getting confused now...are Mike Hunt and York Hunt the same man?
Foxy: Only for lesbians.
MalX: Huh? They're thespians? OH I SEE! They're stage ACTORS!!! I'll go find them in a THEATRE!!!
Foxy: If you're going to find York Hunt on a stage, I'm going off to sell tickets and make my fortune.

I definitely second this.


Yup, still chuckling.

finished the story so far. its good. its so good i need more. i need more now.

I NEED MORE NOW!!!

oh, and Foxy...you owe me a new keyboard...

@ Foxy - SPEW !!! ROFL !!! Thank you so much Foxy, you made my day with that !!

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@ TK & RainbowVeins - ROFL !!! I don't blame you, I must have sprayed coffee three feet when I read Foxy's comment, lol. Thank you both, lol !!

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@ Doommeister - Thank you so much Doommeister !!! That means so much to me that you liked the story !!! I am posting an update below here, but will get a new chapter out a.s.a.p. Thank you again, you ROCK !!!



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Here is an update of all that is going on.




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Chapter 111: From Bad To Worse We Go



******* Maxical (Cont. from Chapter 104, Page 50)


For what seemed like minutes there was mass chaos as they drew down on me, roughing me up and accusing me of being a vampire.

“What’s this person doing in here, I thought you said it was emptied?” A woman’s voice demanded.

“Mix-up with the watch…I guess.” A voice I recognized…Hieronymus Lex. I strained to get up but was pushed back roughly.

“Kill her! She may be one of the vampires!” A man yelled.

“Baurus, lock that door behind us.” The woman’s voice commanded.

“This one’s mine.” A Redguard man grinned down at me.

I struggled to cover my nakedness. “I’m not a vampire. Just a Khajiit.”

“You look like one of the low-lifes that infest this place.“ I looked up into the leering face of Hieronymus.

“You know who I am Lex, let me up!” I tried to get up and an Imperial man shoved me back down, his sword leveled at my throat.

“Look, my eyes are gray, no fangs! I live here…and Lex knows who I am, let me up!”

“Do as you’re told and you’ll be alright!” The woman’s voice ordered. I looked up to see a pretty Breton with Captains bars on an armor I didn‘t recognize.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I live here. Lex knows who I am.”

“She personally humiliated Lex years ago, he‘s never forgotten it.” Itius Hayn’s voice!

“ITIUS! Help me…please? I don’t know what’s going on…”

“She’s not one of them, send her to the refuge camp.” Itius gave me the Arena signal for exit the Arena.






***


“Thank you, Itius…er, what refuge camp? Someone went to rescue Fathis Aren, I‘m supposed to wait here for them to return with him.” I struggled to rise, but the Imperial man still held his sword leveled on me.

“Not here, you can’t. We’re setting up a command post here. That isn’t Fathis Aren in there anyway. It’s a vampire impersonating him, we followed him here.” The Imperial man spoke. His armor was the same as the woman’s.

“They are both in there. The real Fathis is injured. And Gils was in there too before the vampires stormed it.”

Itius signaled the Imperial man to back off. When the man was gone, Itius kneeled beside me and whispered quietly. “Gils is at the Palace, been there for hours now. I‘ve never seen Ocato so titillated, he‘s bouncing around him like a schoolboy with a crush.” He pulled me up to a stand.

“Gils is at the Palace? What is this about a refuge camp?”

“All the women with children have been evacuated to their home cities. Woman without children are being sent to refuge camps on the southeastern shore of the City Isle and the banks of the mainland there. Right now the couriers have been commissioned by the Legion to ride from town to town with orders, all males over the age eighteen are being commanded into service. If we can‘t get the manpower we need, the women from the refuge camps will be called into service.”

“What? You mean to secure the Arena?”

“Not just the Arena. War has broken out all over the city. Malan’s Giants have been attacking. The Crimson Scar reached the shores of City Isle within the last hour. After the explosion even the feral rose up from the sewers to attack. It’s bad out there, Maxical.”

“Dear gods…” My knees buckled below me.

Itius grabbed my arm and steadied me. “We even released all the prisoners to fight. Ocato had the refuge camps set up close to the city so we can call the women in if needed. You‘ll need to go there too, Maxical. Where‘s your clothes?”






***


“I had to take them off so I could escape without the vampires hearing me. They have Hannibal Traven, Azzan, Hassiri, and some man named Damien along with his spellcasters more or less cornered in the Administrative box. That is where the fake Fathis was when I saw him last…before the explosion. I don’t know where they took the real Fathis, but he was badly injured…Itius, who are these others?”

“This is a special task force commissioned by Uriel Septim. Those two are rookie Blades from the Emperor’s own elite force. The Redguard is Baurus. He’s alright, a good lad. That gung-ho Imperial is Glenroy; he‘s [censored] full of himself. Those others are Imperial Soldiers from Uriel’s own army.”

“Who’s the tight [censored]?”

“That’s Captain Renault. If she survives this, she’ll be invited to join the Blades. Come on now, we need to get you evacuated.”

“I need some clothes, I can’t go out like this!”

Itius turned around quickly. “Captain Renault, We need some clothing for Maxical so she can be evacuated.”

Captain Renault was the pretty Breton I had seen earlier. Pretty did not describe her attitude though. With a sour expression and grumbling she pulled a nice pair of leathers from her pack and handed them to the Redguard. “Give those to the cat.”

He sidled up to me and handed me the pants. “Hi there. My name is Baurus. I heard it‘s said, ‘if you ain‘t seen it in the Bloodworks, it don‘t exist‘. Boy were they ever right! A naked white cat…”

If it wasn’t for the tension of the circumstance, I wouldn’t have taken offense. Baurus’s eyes twinkled. Right now I could find nothing funny, though. I held the pants up.

“Er…Baurus? Can you cut a little hole for my tail in these…”

“Get her out of here!” Captain Renault ordered.

As I was staggering to pull them on the Imperial Glenroy gapped the door and shoved me toward a Legionnaire. “Take her to the camp.”






***


“Wait!” I pounded on the door as they were sliding the bolt across.

“Dammit! It’s that Khajiit again!”

“I need a shirt!”

“Borrow one from someone at the camp!” Captain Renault slammed the door in my face and slid the bolt.

“What is this beast doing here!” A high pitched voice demanded.

I turned around, covering my chest. Ocato! He dismounted his horse and approached me, his lip curled in distaste. With his riding crop he pointed at my bare breasts.

“Get this filthy tramp out of here, the men have no time for diversions…take her to the refuge camp on the mainland. We don‘t need her type disrupting the troops.”

“How dare you! If I wasn’t a lady I would spit…wait, I’m no lady! I’m a beast, and can’t be responsible for my actions! REEEEEEOOOOW! HIIIISSSSSS! PATOOOEY!”

“GUARDS! This beast just assaulted me!”

Ocato’s face had turned as white as me as he leaped back away from me. He pulled out a lacy cloth to wipe my spit from his fancy, gold-trimmed robe.

“Throw her in the prison!” Ocato squeaked.

Itius came to my aid, his cheeks flushed red in what appeared to be a cross between anger and embarrassment. As much as I hated Ocato, I still felt shame for my actions. I had just claimed friendship with Itius right before spitting on what could only be considered his boss’s second in command.

“I…I’m sorry, Itius. Should I apologize?” I gave him a look that I hoped conveyed how contrite I felt. He ignored me and spoke to Ocato.






***


“High Chancellor sir, there are no guards at the prison. She would virtually be alone there.”

Ocato waved his hand in dismissal at Itius and swept into the Bloodworks, stopping in the doorway to cover his nose before signaling the guard at the door to close it behind him as he began descending the steps.

“Itius, please. I can’t be alone in a prison…”

“I can’t disobey a direct order, Maxical. But I agree that you can’t be locked in a prison vacant of guards.” Itius signaled a guard to him. “Do you know where the ‘All Things Alchemical shop is on the southeastern mainland?”

The guard nodded. “That weirdo Dunmer lady…“

“She sent word she needs help making potions to keep up with all the wounded. And I need someone to guard Maxical. Make sure she understands Maxical is considered a prisoner, working off her time there.” Itius winked at me and headed back into the Bloodworks without responding to my objections.

The guard looked hesitantly at me before grabbing my arm with his meaty hand. “Come along then. Don‘t give me no lip, I got me orders miss.”

“But…where are you going? The gates are that way…GAAAAH! Not the sewers! I‘ve got no weapon…”

“It’s the safest place in the Imperial City since the explosion. Blew everything to bits down there, it did. It‘s the streets what‘s dangerous now.”

“Good gods, an explosion? I heard it, it shook the Arena! What caused that?”

“No one knows, miss. We been thinking it was the evil work of these vampires what's been attacking.”

The sewers were empty of living beings all right. The stench of the dormant waters and air was only slightly less nauseating than the pieces of charred bodies floating on the surface or stuck in various forms on the arched walls. It was a tremendous relief when the guard opened a large gate and the fresh scent of the Rumare gusted up my nostrils. I inhaled deeply to cleanse my lungs from what I was sure was disease ridden air of the sewers.






***


A short dock stretched from the sewer entrance, the guard on duty jumped as the gate creaked open and we stepped out toward him. His eyes widened at my bare chest.

“I need to carry this prisoner to the shop on the lower east mainland.” The guard pointed at a small skiff tied to the dock.

“Wait, can I just wash in the Rumare quickly? I won’t run, I promise.” Without waiting for an answer I lowered myself into the shallows and squatted to get the water as high as possible on me, scrubbing myself with my claws out to scratch the filth of the sewers from my fur. “Do either of you have any soap?”

“Come on, get up from there now!” The guard hauled me back onto the dock by my arm. “Get in the boat now, and no more of your shenanigans.”

I hung over the bow of the skiff while the guard rowed, splashing water onto my face and scrubbing till my skin nearly bled from it. The stench of the sewers seemed to have permeated my fur and hair, or maybe just the skin lining the inside of my nostrils. It clung heavily around me, each inhalation catching in my throat with the taste of vomit surging to meet it.

The alchemical shop was beautifully arranged, right on the banks overlooking the Rumare and surrounded by flower gardens; a perfect setting. The shop itself was obviously built by someone of extreme wealth, I had never seen such a fancy layout before. A high stone wall of river rock surrounded the raised mound it sat on, that meant the soil surrounding the shop had been imported. A slab walkway led up from the water’s edge made of stones the likes of which I had never seen in my lifetime. Hannibal had mentioned this place and the woman who owned it a few times, what was it he had said? I’d have to remember it another time, too much had happened today to think clearly.

To my shock a young Dunmer girl answered the guard's knock. She looked me up and down after the guard told her I was a prisoner sent to help her with potions.






***


“I’m Falanu, House Hlaalu…as if that matters here. You been in the sewers or something? I can smell you from here.” Her musical voice held a note of derision.

Humiliation drove the color to my cheeks. “I’d like a bath…and I’m starving.”

“You’re a prisoner, not a princess. Do you know the difference?” Falanu turned and pointed me to a large pot on the woodstove. “Get something to eat, then be ready to get down to work. You’re not here on vacation, you know.” Her hands seemed to fall naturally to her hips, as if she was used to being in charge.

“Yes ma’am. Er…what is this stuff?”

“You complaining? You said you were starving, now EAT! We need to get to work! That is my own secret recipe for haggis. There’s chitlins in the other pot.”

“Do you have anything…without meat in it? Until we’re married, cats aren’t supposed to eat meat…this stuff really stinks…GAAAAAH!” I jumped and squeaked as Falanu slammed her book loudly down on the counter. “Okay, I’ll eat this…it might upset my stomach though.”

Working for Falanu…was a huge reminder of being in Raminus Polus’s class at the Arcane. I stay in great physical shape and don’t mind hard work, but I failed alchemy for a reason. Mainly because I slept through it, but there is such a thing as natural ability - I am the antithesis of that.

We had been working for so long I had lost count of the hours. I watched out the window as Falanu expertly plucked the ingredients she needed as if alchemy were inborn in her, innate knowledge of every plant and what it would do. How she could see each tiny plant in the dark that way…like a cat.

I strained my head against the glass pane till I found the moon. Secunda waxing…almost invisible, just a dark sliver in the night sky. Hannibal called that Secunda's Opportunity, said it brought luck. Maybe that meant Janus would find Fathis and Gils…and bring them to me. Would he be able to find me here? Itius would tell Fathis where I was.






***


I suddenly wanted to go home…to Alix and S’Jirra. The ache of homesickness was quickly followed by a wave of pain rolling across my abdomen. Falanu’s cooking, PAH! It was awful!

The rattle of her key in the lock spurred me into grabbing up the nearest mortar and pestle and begin grinding it quickly.

“NO! Gently! What have you got there? ARGH! Never mix those…GAAAH! Look what you’ve done! You are the most inept assistant I’ve ever had! If you weren’t a prisoner I would fire you!”

“Can’t I just pick the ingredients and carry stuff for you? Urg…my stomach is really hurting…” I wasn’t lying. I doubled over as another sharp pain rumbled through my abdomen. “I think it’s gas…”

“You’re a prisoner, not likely I’m going to let you wander around outside. Just get to work.” Falanu glared before turning back to her Alembic. I was surprised her equipment was no more than novice in make. With all the Septims she must have to afford this place, that cheap equipment seemed out of place.

She held up a vial of the concoction she had been making and then poured it back in, raising the flame to high on the Alembic.

“Watch this for me, I have to go pick some more ingredients. I am locking you in, so don’t get any ideas.”

The sound of the latch clicking into place behind her gave credence to her words. The pain in my stomach was crippling, it felt like I might spontaneously combust any second. I clutched the table beside me with one hand and doubled down over it, crying out in pain.

The pressure of the table on my stomach worked as a catalyst, the roiling gas exploded out of me with tremendous force and noise...and smelled of a combination of sewer, haggis, chitlins...and something dead.


“BRAAAAAAP…BOOOM!”


My initial relief at the release of the painful gas was short lived. The fire under the Alembic shot across the room when the gas came in contact, lighting a wall full of expensive looking Morrowind wall hangings on fire. I grabbed up the nearest vial and threw the liquid at the flames trying to douse them.


“KA…BOOOM!”


“HELP! Falanu, HEEELP ME! FIRE!”


*

I thought Maxical had been hauled to the prison for a second! I'm glad Itius was there to keep Lex from killing her! Poor Maxical can hardly pull her pants on before she's hustled out of there.

spitting on Ocato! Making a bad situation worse is what Maxical does best!

I have a feeling Maxical is involved in turning that shop into a burnt ruin...

CALLED IT!!!

You know, I think if a general had someone in their army like Maxical, they would give her to the enemy army and wait for the camp to explode!

Malxical, you poor poor Khajiit.

Every thought I had while reading this excellent chapter was blown right out of my mind by the way in which Maxical destroyed Falanu’s alchemy shop!!! Only Maxical!

“Who’s the tight [censored]?”

“That’s Captain Renault.

I laughed and laughed. She sure is!

“You complaining? You said you were starving, now EAT! We need to get to work! That is my own secret recipe for haggis. There’s chitlins in the other pot.”

Oh, yuck! Now what secret ingredient would a necrophiliac put in her haggis? Ugh! Poor kitty.

I strained my head against the glass pane till I found the moon. Secunda waxing…almost invisible , just a dark sliver in the night sky. Hannibal called that Secunda's Opportunity, said it brought luck. Maybe that meant Janus would find Fathis and Gils…and bring them to me. Would he be able to find me here? Itius would tell Fathis where I was.

This was such a poignant moment tucked in between the hilarity. Also the part where she thought of home, and Alix and S’Jirra. After all, she still is young and on her own.

And locked in a burning building, topless! Potions of fire shield, quick!!

OH MY GAWWWWWWWWD.....






Only Maxical....ONLY MALXICAL....

You've outDONE yourself!!! ONLY MALXICAL could FART her way into trouble!!!!

Oh my goodness, this was well worth the long wait, my friend!

A delight how you worked some familiar game pieces into this episode. Specifically, the appearance of the 'tutorial crew' of Renault, Baurus and Glenroy. Also using that old burned out 'All Things Alchemical' shop which is in the exact location you described in game. Brilliant!

'I heard it‘s said, ‘if you ain‘t seen it in the Bloodworks, it don‘t exist‘. Boy were they ever right! A naked white cat…”
Based on what Maxical has taught us in the past, this was no surprise!

“How dare you! If I wasn’t a lady I would spit…wait, I’m no lady! I’m a beast, and can’t be responsible for my actions! REEEEEEOOOOW! HIIIISSSSSS! PATOOOEY!”
Hilarious!

As Maxical insisted in overscrubbing the sewar from herself, I couldn't help but be reminded she is a cat. Well done!

'Humiliation drove the color to my cheeks. “I’d like a bath…and I’m starving.”
“You’re a prisoner, not a princess. Do you know the difference?” Falanu turned and pointed me to a large pot on the woodstove. “Get something to eat, then be ready to get down to work. You’re not here on vacation, you know.” Her hands seemed to fall naturally to her hips, as if she was used to being in charge.'
Your dialogue clarification tags here were stunningly good!

'I suddenly wanted to go home…to Alix and S’Jirra.'
Aww. Kind of like the poignant line that Grits quoted, this - inserted in the midst of tragedy, chaos and humor - was such a delight!

Maxical simply blew me away at the end. Seems like she sort of blew away 'All Things Alcemical' as well. Despite the fact that you have left us with a cliffie, I could not stop laughing here. If worse comes to worse, I'm sure Maxical can muster another explosion to simply blow the doors off the place to escape.

WOW!!!! It doesn't get much better than that! Humor with just a touch of heart, classic Max. It was well worth the wait but please don't torture us with another extended waiting period for the next installment. I was beginning to think I was going to have to find an MA meeting close by or something, tequila wasn't helping at all.

"You're a prisoner, not a princess" Now how many times have parents said that to their grounded daughters... I like the line

@ King Coin - She almost was, maybe arson will get her there! ROFL !! YOU CALLED IT !!! ROFL !!! To be honest, I had the refuge camp set up at the northern end of the City Isle till I played the game the day before writing this chapter. I happened past the ruin of the old "All Things Alchemical" and the possibility that Maxical had caused that somehow crossed my mind, lol. Just wasn't sure how it was going to happen, but knew she caused it, lol.

Thank you so very much, KC !!! You ROCK !!! And it is so great to have you back, you were missed !!!

***
@ Arcry - First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! Thank you so much Arcry !! It is so great to see you still reading Maxical, that means a lot to me, Thank You !!!

***
@ Grits - Thank you so much Grits !!! I happened across a YouTube vid of a walk through the tutorial dungeon - seeing it when you aren't playing it yourself, I was really struck by the personalities of Renault and Glenroy. I foresee a "not so happy" reunion when Maxical finally starts the main questline and meets up with them in that jail cell, ROFL !!!

EW! Yeah, I thought the same thing about Falanu's "secret ingredient." Her shop is conveniently located very close to Seridur's cave, and he has been tossing bodies (conveniently drained of blood) in the water in front of Memorial Cave ... GAAAAH! Urg!

Thank you so very much, Grits !!! I really appreciate your insights into each chapter, lets me know if I've gotten across what I was hoping to!! You ROCK !!!

***
@ Foxy - That one was for you, lol. As soon as I knew Maxical had to be the one to destroy that shop, the first thing I thought of was "The Mission" when we were still in the planning stages of it. You had mentioned Maxical farting and we ended up mellowing it down to a loud stomach rumble - so here is the fart you wanted, ROFL !!! (Much better than having her torch Foxy's suite of rooms, ROFL !!! Thank you so much, Foxy - it was Awesome to see you stop by again !!! WOO HOO !!!

***
@ Acadian - Thank you so very much Acadian !!! (and for pushing me into writing more on the story too, lol). My cats were fighting all over my front porch, and I noticed they gave a "reeeeooow" and a few hisses before they spat - then tangled with each other. I was laughing thinking of Maxical doing that - and it stuck.

The cleaning was also inspired by my outdoor cats. They are genius at cleaning themselves! Possom sometimes hides out beneath the neighbors car and comes home with black grease on his fur - in hours he will groom himself till it is gone - can't imagine how he does that !!



ROFL !! Thank you so much for your kind words, Acadian !!! And for continueing to push and inspire me!!! You ROCK !!!

***
@ Athynae - ROFL !!! (MA meetings - hilarious ... and thank you!) It tickles me that you came and read Maxical, and that you liked the story!! Thank you so much, Athynae !!!

***
@ Zalphon - Thank you so much, Zalphon !!! Oh yeah, I see that being said, ROFL !!!

*


Chapter 112: Escaping the Fire



Falanu’s raging bellow sounded through the locked door like a death knell. A trail of flames had spread across the floor from the vial I’d thrown, licking up the legs of her work tables and beginning to spread across the top towards the rows of concoctions in bottles up there. Would they explode like the one I had thrown did? Dear gods!

Instinct drove my feet hurrying through the hissing balls of flames that were now sparking off the expensive wall hangings and landing perilously close to the rows of vials filled with concoctions that lined the four tables in the center of the room.

I nearly singed my tail as I darted across to the steps leading up to her private quarters. There was no time to stop and admire the lavish furnishings of her bedroom as I shot across to the dormered window and struggled to open the sash, but I can’t say I didn’t notice with envy the luxury of everything. She must be as rich as Fathis! Was everyone from Morrowind wealthy? Would she expect me to save some of her exquisite items?

As I glanced around quickly to see if there was anything within grabbing distance, that’s when I heard the sound…a kind of shrieking, not Falanu this time. It was emanating from the thick folds of velvet covering her bed, did she have a pet? I’d best save it, she may not care about her extravagant lifestyle...but if a beloved pet was killed...

There was nothing there when I pulled back the luxurious weighty throw, naught but the biggest fluffiest feather pillows I’d ever seen in my life…good gods, the woman lived like Caula Voria…maybe better!

“Here pet, come quickly so you don’t burn…” I called but no pet emerged. A quick tousling of the soft lacy sheets revealed naught, but on turning from the bed my eye was caught by a glass covered stand filled with the most delicious looking sweetrolls I‘d ever seen…they must be imported from Morrowind. Sitting on top of the glass was a young mouse, tiny compared to the rats I was used to seeing around the Bloodworks.

“Are you Falanu’s pet? Come with me quickly and I’ll bring you to her…” I reached my hand out to it.

The mouse made a chattering sound, shaking its head as if to say no. He appeared to be pointing at the sweetrolls.

“There’s no time…well…” I pulled one of the pillowcases off quickly and began filling it with the sweetrolls, shoving one quickly in my mouth to chew while I did. I had never tasted the like of it, ambrosia…like no other sweetroll I’d ever eaten before.






***


When the last roll was in the pillowcasing, I held it open and the little mouse readily jumped in. I yanked a section of heavy ornate roping down from one drape and tied the little mouse inside the pillowcase, then hurried to the window and climbed out onto the sloping roof.

“FAWAU, ELPH!” I shouted around the sweetroll in my mouth. Her expression looked like she may combust at any second as her face appeared below me.

“I’LL KILL YOU FOR THIS YOU [CENSORED] [CENSORED] CAT!“ The tone of her voice gave promise to her words.

“Ih wa an ashident! Er…I shaved your phet, he’sh ri ere!” A hunk of sweetroll flew from my mouth, gobbing on her forehead.

“My special sweetrolls! THIEF!“ She began shouting.

Using the rope, I quickly lowered the sack with the mouse and sweetrolls down to Falanu.

“What’s this!” She demanded, yanking the rope off and opening the pillowcase. Her shriek was the last sound she made other than an involuntary grunting gasp when I inadvertently fell ontop her as I leaped from the roof.

Falanu had fainted. She lay sprawled on her back underneath me among a (now crushed) bed of her precious ingredients. I hadn’t meant to land on her, only near her…but at the last second had seen the sack with the mouse and knew I would crush the little fellow if I fell on him. Changing directions mid-air had not been easy, and there she lay spread out to break my fall like a comfortable mattress to land on.

The sack lay open on the ground, the mouse was sitting up in the gaping mouth of it gnawing on an overly large piece of sweetroll. He made a chuckling sound as I heaved myself off the prostrate Falanu.

“We’ve got to get out of here before this place blows, little guy.” I closed the sack back around him and tied it with the rope, knotting it around my waist.

By grabbing her ankles I was able to pull Falanu’s limp body through the organized rows of plants, although trampling a good portion of them. It made no sense to walk carefully on the paths between them when her life may be in danger. Why had she screamed and fainted that way?






***


Her dress was pulled up well over her head by the time I reached the waters edge with her. I cupped my hands to scoop water into Falanu’s face in an attempt to wake her. She began to stir as the second handful of icy water doused her head.

“Wha…what’s going on? Where am I?”

My face must have swam into her vision then, because her expression changed instantly from woozy to acute hatred.

“YOU! You’ll die for…HEY! What is my dress doing over my head? Why are there long scratches on my butt?” Falanu eyed my claws that were unsheathed from tension. WHAT THE [CENSORED] HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO ME! GUARDS!”

“Nothing…NO! Honest! I saved your life, and rescued your pet!”

Falanu struggled to sit up, casting healing on herself. “Saved me! My [censored] you did! You burned my house down to escape and robbed me! And only the gods know what you’ve been doing to me while I was passed out! Rescued my pet? Is that some euphemism for my privates? You disgusting pervert!”

“HUH? NO! Dear gods! How was I to know you wore no panties? Your dress came up when I was pulling you through your plant stems…”

“You dragged me…MY PLANTS! What else have you done to me, you vile…”


“KABOOM! BOOM! KABOOM! BABOOOM! POW! WHOOSH!”


“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Falanu’s shriek lasted almost as long as the explosions that rocked what was left of her shop into a fiery inferno that lit up the sky like daylight. Half of the shop disintegrated in the blast, the other half was consumed instantly by the roaring flames.

“YOU’RE FIRED! And now that you don’t work for me, I’m going to KILL YOU!”

“But I saved your life…your…GAAAAH!” As I ran from Falanu, I tore at the rope tying the bag to my waist. “Here, I saved your mouse!” I scooped the mouse from the sack and tossed it at Falanu.

“SHRIIIIIEEEEEEK!” Falanu’s dark skin turned a deathly pale, and before she passed out I could see the terror in her eyes as she clawed at her chest to get the mouse off her.

How odd, that she could sleep with that mouse in her bed and yet be so terrified of it! Had she not known it was there? I scooped the mouse up from where it nestled between her breasts making a loud chuckling sound, almost like laughter.






***


“I’m sorry, little fellow. I thought she was your mistress. Where will you go now? Your home is gone. I can’t expect you to stay with me, I know how mice feel about cats…especially cats that live in squalor, when you‘ve been living in quarters more Royal than even Uriel Septim has. But I’ll bring you somewhere safe, I promise. Maybe the Merchants Inn, it’s the best hotel in the Imperial City. Not as good as you’re used to…unless I put you in Fathis’s suite. He has plenty of thick velvet for you to stay warm in.”

The mouse almost looked like he could answer me, his expression so alert and attention riveted on my face as I spoke. I opened my mouth to tell him what a smart little fellow he was when suddenly the night sky was rent with a terrible scream, louder than the roaring of Falanu’s shop burning.

The mouse was as frightened as I was, his fur buffed out and just as spiked as mine. Both our eyes were widened in fear. He shot up my arm and into the sack of rolls before I could blink.

My hands shook as I tied the sack back around my waist, then as I stood there trembling the wooden boards covering a nearby cave were pushed out from the inside. In horror I watched as vampires began pouring out making a howling noise as if to answer the scream.

Without taking time to think I cast a spell to walk over water and grabbed Falanu by the ankles, taking off at a dead run and dragging her out into the Rumare behind me.

The spell only worked on me, and the mouse and sack were tied to me. A gurgling sound made me realize my error. I tugged her legs harder to me, then reached down quickly and grabbed at her dress. It tore in my hands, but not before I was able to grab one arm. I pulled hard so her head emerged from the lake, sputtering.

Without listening to her screams and cursing I continued running across the lake. I drug her through the water behind me by just a tight grip on one of her arms, aiming toward the torches lighting the Refuge Camp that had been set up on the banks of the City Isle.

A few times something tugged hard against me and her shrieking got worse. The thick velvet of her dress when wet became so heavy that I barely made it across the lake to the other shore, but it did seem to lighten up just before we reached the shallows.

I heaved Falanu onto the shore, then stumbled and fell across her. “Where’s your dress?” I pushed myself up from her naked breast. “Geez, you don’t wear a bra or corset either?”

“RAPE! GUARDS!” Falanu shrieked.


*

What a divine surprise that you provided us with an update! Darn, this was enchantingly good! I laughed the whole way through.

And ALIX THE MOUSE! I sure have missed the little fellow since MF 1.0.

“FAWAU, ELPH!” I shouted around the sweetroll in my mouth. Her expression looked like she may combust at any second as her face appeared below me.'
Your selection of letters here was absolutely perfect. Clear enough to convey both the meaning and that Maxical's mouth was full of sweet roll.

'Changing directions mid-air had not been easy,'
Here you give us the most wonderful reminder that Maxical is a cat as she no doubt spun, twisted and changed directions in the air to land on her feet - er, I mean atop 'Fawau'.

'HEY! What is my dress doing over my head? Why are there long scratches on my butt?”
What a hilarious direction you took this, as well as so many elements of this purely delightful episode. Bravo, mALX! Oh, my stomach hurts from laughing.

Did I mention how much I loved this!

You burned my house down to escape and robbed me! And only the gods know what you’ve been doing to me while I was passed out! Rescued my pet? Is that some euphemism for my privates? You disgusting pervert!

I guess we know what Falanu thinks Maxical was arrested for

And is that Alix the mouse? I can't be sure since there is no mention of him looking like a furry black pumpkin!

I don't know why but I find it really funny that Maxical is noticing how nice everything in the house is... after it's all KINDLING.

Saving the mouse and sweetrolls??? GAAAH!! Get some priorities girl!


That wasn't a PET Maxical! Alix will have a friend now!



Maxical you really mean well but come ON.

mALX you really out did yourself! This chapter is so funny! Fantastic chapter!

*FOXY has just died laughing*

I nearly singed my tail as I darted across to the steps leading up to her private quarters. There was no time to stop and admire the lavish furnishings of her bedroom as I shot across to the dormered window and struggled to open the sash, but I can’t say I didn’t notice with envy the luxury of everything. She must be as rich as Fathis! Was everyone from Morrowind wealthy? Would she expect me to save some of her exquisite items?

I had to quote this passage, because it shows so many things I love about your writing. You set the scene so well that I can easily imagine it, but you manage to do it in the middle of the action without slowing down at all. Maxical’s actions covey her state of mind so well, you don’t need to tell us, we know how she’s feeling. Instead you give us her racing thoughts, which are hilarious and so Maxical.

Pet mouse? Sweetrolls? I thought I would injure myself laughing, but I couldn’t stop reading to calm down. Who else would drag Falanu to safety from a fire and vampires even after the death threats!

The mouse was as frightened as I was, his fur buffed out and just as spiked as mine. Both our eyes were widened in fear. He shot up my arm and into the sack of rolls before I could blink.

The identical expressions of terror from both cat and mouse, you are a genius. Your foul-mouthed, fainting, pantiless Falanu has thoroughly eclipsed the game one. Now that I know she goes commando, I don’t think I can go back to her shop in Skingrad!

mALX, this goes down as an instant classic, and a now and future favorite. I know reading it again will brighten many more days to come!!

Reading! Trying to catch up... Tree is now off the roof- now if work would just settle down....

Of course- I have to be careful- people look at me funny when I start snortling at my desk.

At last we see Maxical up to her old classic antics once more! I kind of missed that sort of slapstick comedy that she is so good at.

And would this be Alix before she met our white Khajiit?

*cough* *cough* *choke*

*Doommeister passes out in a fit of uncontrollable laughter*

NOW she notices this? I'd have expected it to be as hairless as a mouse's after the first fireball, considering how it happened.

PAHAHAAHHA! Brilliant! Poor Falanu, her shop is ruined and she's now lying on the edge of the lake, at night time, naked. On the plus side, she has some sweetrolls!

Nobody ever gives Maxical a chance to help, but I think this encounter shows us why.

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Just popping in to post this vid of Maxical (talking and ... singing) in case anyone missed it:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8GphPxDtTw


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And now I understand the true meaning of "SPEW" um, my monitor really doesn't appreciate the finer points of southern sweet tea!!!! There is probably thick, sticky goo forming somewhere inside the confines of the framing as we speak but THIS WAS AWESOME!!!!!

And you have no idea how bad I needed the laugh, thanks mALX!!!!!

AAAAARGH!!!!

I will NEVER look at the old All Things Alchemical building the same way again...



Talk about your gas attacks. And haggis will definitely do that to yah... especially when Falanu Hlaalu is sticking in the organs of her past... playthings. That is one deranged lady. And yet, strangely fitting, too.

Oh, and I love Mousie Alix already, too.

Never a better place to go when the day's got you down and you need a quick giggle (or in your case, a giant snort-filled monitor-spraying delight).

Next up... A New Sun Rises... starring Jim Carrey as Maxical.

I will post a more complete spammage of your thread when I am caught up once more- but Chapter 108 with the "Seridur Serenade" reminded me of this rather long-winded story (as if I know any other kind).

During my misspent 20's, I was in a community theater group. I know, I know- but I am all better now and no longer contagious- so everyone is safe. One season we did South Pacific, only to get trumped by another group with a better space in a nearby city ALSO doing that show.

Some of us (cast and crew) decided to go check out the competition. And here is where this tale applies....

Apparently the competing group had gotten a BAD cast recording of the Broadway show which resulted in their version of "Some Enchanted Evening" sounding like a Bela Lugosi impersonator gargling the lyrics underwater. No kidding.