ghastley
Mar 5 2014, 02:22 AM
If you want to combine a journal format with conversation etc. then use the journal entry just as an introduction to the character's reminiscing about the actual events.
e.g.
Day 1
Travelled to Anvil. Met a mage on the road.
Of course, it wasn't just a mage, it was Hannibal Traven. "Arch-mage," I said, "what brings you out of the Imperial City during the Crisis?" ...
Each line of the journal could be a whole post here, if enough happened.
Callidus Thorn
Mar 5 2014, 10:44 AM
That might actually solve both issues...
Thanks!
*scurries off to start typing*
Edit: Wow, this is definitely working. Thanks Ghastley.
SubRosa
Mar 5 2014, 09:24 PM
The journal style is not how I usually write, so it is hard for me to give useful advice. However, I do recall that Bram Stoker's novel Dracula was all done in the style of a journal, and it did include large slices of dialogue. In fact, it was basically just written in 1st Person with the date and the name of whose journal it was from at the head of every chapter. You might try looking at that for ideas. Given how old it is, the copyright has lapsed, so you can read it online for free. Here is an example:
QUOTE("Dracula")
Jonathan Harker's Journal Continued
5 May.--I must have been asleep, for certainly if I had been fully awake I must have noticed the approach of such a remarkable place. In the gloom the courtyard looked of considerable size, and as several dark ways led from it under great round arches, it perhaps seemed bigger than it really is. I have not yet been able to see it by daylight.
When the caleche stopped, the driver jumped down and held out his hand to assist me to alight. Again I could not but notice his prodigious strength. His hand actually seemed like a steel vice that could have crushed mine if he had chosen. Then he took my traps, and placed them on the ground beside me as I stood close to a great door, old and studded with large iron nails, and set in a projecting doorway of massive stone. I could see even in th e dim light that the stone was massively carved, but that the carving had been much worn by time and weather. As I stood, the driver jumped again into his seat and shook the reins. The horses started forward, and trap and all disappeared down one of the dark openings.
I stood in silence where I was, for I did not know what to do. Of bell or knocker there was no sign. Through these frowning walls and dark window openings it was not likely that my voice could penetrate. The time I waited seemed endless, and I felt doubts and fears crowding upon me. What sort of place had I come to, and among what kind of people? What sort of grim adventure was it on which I had embarked? Was this a customary incident in the life of a solicitor's clerk sent out to explain the purchase of a London estate to a foreigner? Solicitor's clerk! Mina would not like that. Solicitor, for just before leaving London I got word that my examination was successful, and I am now a full-blown solicitor! I began to rub my eyes and pinch myself to see if I were awake. It all seemed like a horrible nightmare to me, and I expected that I should suddenly awake, and find myself at home, with the dawn struggling in through the windows, as I had now and again felt in the morning after a day of overwork. But my flesh answered the pinching test, and my eyes were not to be deceived. I was indeed awake and among the Carpathians. All I could do now was to be patient, and to wait the coming of morning.
Just as I had come to this conclusion I heard a heavy step approaching behind the great door, and saw through the chinks the gleam of a coming light. Then there was the sound of rattling chains and the clanking of massive bolts drawn back. A key was turned with the loud grating noise of long disuse, and the great door swung back.
Within, stood a tall old man, clean shaven save for a long white moustache, and clad in black from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him anywhere. He held in his hand an antique silver lamp, in which the flame burned without a chimney or globe of any kind, throwing long quivering shadows as it flickered in the draught of the open door. The old man motioned me in with his right hand with a courtly gesture, saying in excellent English, but with a strange intonation.
"Welcome to my house! Enter freely and of your own free will!" He made no motion of stepping to meet me, but stood like a statue, as though his gesture of welcome had fixed him into stone. The instant, however, that I had stepped over the threshold, he moved impulsively forward, and holding out his hand grasped mine with a strength which made me wince, an effect which was not lessened by the fact that it seemed cold as ice, more like the hand of a dead than a living man. Again he said.
"Welcome to my house! Enter freely. Go safely, and leave something of the happiness you bring!" The strength of the handshake was so much akin to that which I had noticed in the driver, whose face I had not seen, that for a moment I doubted if it were not the same person to whom I was speaking. So to make sure, I said interrogatively, "Count Dracula?"
Callidus Thorn
Mar 5 2014, 10:13 PM
I've read Dracula, probably one of the things that contributed to me wanting to write it as a journal, and the first conversation I wrote straight into the journal entry, just like in Dracula. It just seemed to flow into that one though, after that point it was like I was trying to force them in.
After adopting Ghastley's suggestion I've written about two pages, most of it conversations as sort of recollections the journal leads into, like writing triggered them, or at least that's what I'm aiming for.
ghastley
Mar 5 2014, 11:01 PM
So post some, and let us
condemn helpfully critique it.
Callidus Thorn
Mar 6 2014, 12:56 PM
Well, I suppose I could post one of the parts, I'm still working on bits of it, so it's too soon to start a thread for it. If there's anything I need to change better to do it now that after I've been carrying on the wrong way for a dozen entries.
The Journal of Eldrar Andrethi, Second entry, 27th of Last Seed, 3E 433
When I reached the Imperial City, I found I was expected. Three Legionnaires were waiting for me, each with a hand of the pommel of their sword, watchful eyes following every move the crew made. It seemed the Marie Elena had a reputation here as it did in Morrowind, and the expressions on the faces of the Legionnaires spoke volumes about what they thought of me arriving on this ship. Their leader, a silver armoured giant with a matching claymore slung across his back, shot me a sneer darker than my skin. “Eldrar Andrethi. I am Captain Hieronymus Lex of the Imperial Legion. Come with us.”
I had been expecting something like this, but I couldn't help asking; “Are you arresting me, Captain?”
The two Legionnaires behind him shifted their stance, preparing to draw their blades at the slightest hint of trouble. Their Captain, however, was far more relaxed. “No, but make no mistake, you're in our custody. The Mages Guild was informed of your imminent arrival, and asked us to ensure that you found you way to the Arcane University. If you'd rather resist arrest, then by all means, try to escape. It's been a rather dull watch so far, and you might make an interesting, if brief, diversion.” He finished with a cold smile, I'd seen a similar smile on the face of a Morag Tong agent my Mistress once had me hire. Disdain and confidence, mixed with an eagerness that made the expression so very unsettling. It was a smile that promised a swift death, after a very uneven fight.
“Well, in that case lead on, Captain.” What else could I say? And Lex did indeed lead the way, turning his back on me without hesitation, underlining his confidence as his men took up positions behind me, one to each side. What surprised me most was that despite Lex's clear dislike of me, he still gave me what was almost a guide to the city, or at least of those districts we passed through. We attracted more than a few strange looks as we left the Waterfront District. One Dunmer escorted by a Legion Captain and two Legionnaires, not a prisoner but not entirely free either. The Waterfront led to the Temple District, which seemed as much residential as spiritual, row after row of homes dominated by what Lex told me was the Temple of the One. Following that was the Arboretum, a section of the city apparently serving no purpose than to be a garden. I have never seen anything like it, and the smells! So many flowers and plants, each adding their own scent, complimenting each other in both sight and smell. And amongst the green were statues of the Nine Divines, each clearly the work of a master sculptor, the level of craftsmanship showing that they were not merely commissions to the sculptors, but were acts of worship in themselves.
After the Arboretum the Arcane University was something of a disappointment. It certainly lacked the presence of the Council House in Sadrith Mora, though I could feel the magic radiating off the two vast gates, one to either side of what Lex informed me is the Arch-Mage's tower, far stronger than anything I'd ever felt. I was ushered into the tower, though Lex and his men waited outside. Inside were four Battlemages, in Legion armour, one of whom moved behind me as I entered, the rest were already stood before the other doors. In the centre of the room was an Imperial dressed in blue robes, his brown hair streaked with grey, his face showing the lines and weariness of age. Despite the presence of the Legion Battlemages, he seemed completely at ease, as if this situation was an everyday occurrence to him. He stood as I approached him, and gestured to the bench behind him. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but being recruited to the Mages Guild certainly wasn't part of it...
“Eldrar Andrethi, formerly of House Telvanni. I am Raminus Polus, Master Wizard of the Mages Guild, I handle the majority of the day to day running of the Guild. Please, have a seat. There are one or two matters we must discuss.”
Now I knew why he was so calm. Lex was one thing, a man who knew he could face any challenge with blade in hand, but Polus was an entirely different type of animal. Lex could kill me with a single slash of his claymore. Raminus Polus could kill me without even needing to stand. I'm not sure he'd need to do more than nod. So lacking any real options, I sat down on the bench beside him.
Polus reached into a pocket and withdrew a rolled up piece of parchment. “Two days ago, we received this rather unusual message, from an even more unusual messenger. A Winged Twilight flew into University grounds, carrying this. Of course, I had the beast killed, the Mage's Guild does not allow such creatures into Cyrodiil, but the parchment was preserved. It is from a Master Indaran, warning us about a fellow Dunmer, named Eldrar Andrethi. Indaran claimed that you had slain your Mistress and then tried to kill him, leaving him grievously wounded, though he managed to drive you off. He claimed that you had boarded a ship; the Marie Elena, a known pirate ship, and were on your way to Cyrodiil. He asked that you be arrested and sent back to stand trial for your crimes. And I see no real reason to refuse his request, as unorthodox as it is. Ever since the disappearance of the Nerevarine relations with Morrowind have been strained, particularly between our two institutions.”
“And yet, here we are, discussing the matter.”
Polus actually smiled at that. “Indeed we are, for one very simple reason. I do not trust the Telvanni, this Master Indaran. The Guild is not without its more... discreet sources in Morrowind. We learned of his rivalry with your former Mistress, and of the position you held. So we know that he's lying. But this ultimately changes nothing, because I still have no reason not to hand you over to them. The Guild does not approve of freelance magic users here in Cyrodiil, and we see no reason to protect them.”
A smile began to form as I realised that Polus didn't want to hand me over to the Telvanni, if only for the sake of annoying them. “And if I wasn't a freelance magic user?”
Polus nodded his approval, his smile growing a little broader. “Well, the Guild protects its own, within reason of course. All guildmembers must adhere to the code of conduct. Were you thinking of joining? Typically we handle applications at one of the guildhalls, but in light of the circumstances, I suppose we could sign you up now.”
“In that case, I should like to join the Guild, Master Wizard.”
“Please, call me Raminus. Here's a copy of the Mage's Guild Charter. Read it, learn it, live it. Break the rules and you'll find yourself on the way back to Morrowind in chains.”
“What about the letter?”
Raminus' smile widened until it threatened to swallow his ears. “The letter?” He asked, bemusement finding its way into his voice as the parchment in his hands burst into flames. “Unfortunately that was destroyed with the Winged Twilight. We really can't allow such creatures in Cyrodiil, and some of our apprentices were somewhat overzealous in enforcing Guild law.”
Of course, joining wasn't quite as simple as that.
My spellbook was confiscated, and I was given a new one, containing nothing more than the most basic spells I'd had, which was delivered no more than an hour ago. Apparently the Mage's Guild in Cyrodiil has rather strict guidelines about spells and their structures and such, and most of mine were outside of them. But, it at least gave me the time to explore the Market District, where I found my coin stretched further than expected. I was able to purchase a steel cuirass and a pair of iron boots, as well as a steel dagger, and I still have a few hundred septims left. I would've looked into buying some new spells, but without my spellbook I had no way to record them. Memorising spells is all well and good in theory, but once you've got a few dozen of them rattling around your head you begin to appreciate the simple pleasure of writing them down and reading them later.
Tomorrow I'll see what the magic vendors have, and then I'll set out for one of the other cities. I think Chorrol would be the best choice. Conjuration is a powerful tool, and right now all I can do with it is summon a simple skeleton.
So, please, critique away!
Callidus Thorn
Mar 8 2014, 10:28 PM
Hmm, reading that back again, I think maybe I should preface it with a little intro bit, Eldrar writing in his journal, and cut back to it later whenhe starts remembering. Since this is the first time it'll pop up giving it a proper intro would probably be a good idea.
I'll see what I can come up with, see how it meshes...
PhonAntiPhon
Mar 10 2014, 09:23 PM
First off, I'm always in awe of the people who write FanFix on these forums, there is so much creativity and it's inspiring to be even a little part of it.
---
Anyway, for me I have always tended to the dark side, as it were. I find it difficult to write about light and airy subjects and I always have.
that's not to say I'm an introspective sort of a person, filled with existential angst - (although I tried Very Hard in 20s) - but I have always just cleaved to more sombre matters, to hardship, suffering. These things inspire, extreme emotions and situations.
And yet, I always try to look at the endgame, a resolution that speaks of something bright at least; a realisation or a release or atonement of some sort.
But bluntly, I am a Big Fan of pathos.

As I've got older I've undoubtedly got grittier but equally I think I have got a lot more emotionally involved with the characters, perhaps too much in some cases.
The problems I have are that I tend to ramble a lot and kind of drift off into tangents down avenues, if I'm not careful. As a writer I am not terribly structured or disciplined and I do think that that is a weakness, particularly if i ever sit down and try to write something longer than a connected series of vignettes.
Darkness Eternal
Mar 11 2014, 12:17 AM
You and I are alike, Phon. When I pour my mind and will and soul into writing, I tend to go deep into dark and gritty themes. I always preferred a mature-themed story rather than your jolly adventure tale(there is nothing wrong with the latter, by the way).
The thing is my resolution at the end of a broody tale is in the distant future and not at the conclusion of a certain story. For example, in The Lycanthrope Chronicles, my character Vera started off in a bad place that went increasingly worse.
That being said, I'm not afraid to go the happy ending route. I will try it in the future, but right now I'm really building my characters emotionally and they're not so much heroes but anti-heroes with tremendous personality issues and flaws due to deep scars and problems that molded them into the people they are.
Kraven is probably my main mentally tormented character. By trying to do good and help out those he loved, he got in a bad situation that led to an even worse situation that in turn yielded something very bad for him. He became a forced killer and in the end became someone who loves killing. I didn't want to make him the typical psychologically scarred anti-hero who had a childhood experience which haunts him to this very day. He does not live in fear of the 'monster of his childhood' and instead, he wants to kill it. If there's a stereotype, he's the physically mutilated and world weary vagabond, who in actual fact, performs many "knightly" feats, such as protecting the innocent and saving people despite the many he's killed and the fact that he enjoys killing.
I too get emotionally involved. That's why I love writing and immersing myself in a fictitious world. I get to bring an established world alive through my characters. And there are indeed many inspiring writers here in the forums that weaved some incredible stories.
My problem would be that I try to write something and I realize I have to pull the leash on what I post. I understand that blood, entrails and that macabre stuff isn't what makes a story appealing, yet I can't ignore the world. In the Elder Scrolls series we've seen that stuff in the game. We know it isn't a happy rainbow world of unicorns(hell, we're even instructed by a Daedric Lord to kill a unicorn and rip out its horn). If a sword cuts someone, its going to be bloody. If there's magic and sacrifices, there is murder and darkness. If there are political struggles, yeah, there's corruption. While I can't paint the ES world as something completely dark and moody, I can't make it something that it isn't either. Which in turn is why I love writing. We can do almost whatever we want.
haute ecole rider
Mar 11 2014, 02:55 AM
I like dark and gritty, myself. It lends a certain weight to what is otherwise light fantasy. Ignoring the worst people can be is like watching "My Little Pony" episodes.
I do agree that the TES series seem to encourage fan fic that runs to the dark side, given the prevalence of such characters as those described by DE and even PAntiPhon. I only read a bit of Niamh, but I could see that she lived quite the unsavory life (or perhaps a savory one?).
I tend to write characters that are themselves disadvantaged in some way or another. Julian of Anvil is a drunk and an addict, and though she managed to stay sober through the MQ, in the aftermath she will have to struggle with it.
Tallei Luia herself has a dark history as well, and it is shaping how she sees Nirn and how she builds relationships (or rather, fails to build them).
What I enjoy most are stories of redemption, of hope and a future worth looking forward to. It may not happen, but it is there. And that alone is what makes the worst of lives worth living. Despair is the end. And it is the struggle I find most interesting - the struggle not only to survive, but also to find a place in the world that makes life worth living, as opposed to suicide.
Agreed, the rules of this forum puts limits on how we can write these stories. But I don't see this as a limitation, but rather as a challenge. How can you write what is essentially young adult fiction and still convey the dark and gritty nature of the struggle to live? I do think it is possible - it's been done. And it is in rising to this challenge that we hone our skills as writers.
Vital
Mar 11 2014, 11:28 AM
Well, recently I visited the fan-fic forums upon Callidus' recommendation. I'd spent a bit of time reading when I just joined but apart from that I'd not really seen any of the stuff on here. Needless to say, I was blown away by the quality of the writing.
Although it initially strengthened my belief that writing was not for me, I've actually become incredibly inspired to try writing some of my own fan-fic. While it's still hypothetical, I have a few questions that I haven't seen answered in this thread that would help me if I was to do some writing.
Firstly, something related more to creative writing in general rather than fan-fic: I have two ideas for a story in my head. One is a skyrim MQ story involving my character Ravos and the other a story loosely based upon Skyrim's civil war through the eyes of my character Attia. The second idea is the one I'm slightly more enthusiastic about however it's also the one I'm the most uncertain about, mainly because it would mean writing from the perspective of a female character. Although I know Attia as a character really well, I'm worried that as a young male and generally inexperienced writer I would completely butcher her feminine side. She is a bit of a tom-boy, but still a woman. Be brutally honest, is this a bad idea? I'd rather write Ravos' story than do an injustice to Attia's.
Another one, more TES fan-fic related this time. I'm slightly unsure what to do regarding world size, or rather world scale. I know that the games are greatly downscaled, and for good reason. However if I were to right a story about the civil-war, it would not be a battle of 5 man armies. There would be 10s of thousands of men and women on either sides. Long and brutal marches of retreat and advance and epic battles and sieges. Obviously I would have to expand the scale from the game world to make this believable, I'm just not sure to what extent I should do so. Any and all tips and recommendations are accepted
Grits
Mar 11 2014, 01:25 PM
Callidus, I found your sample above to be an engaging mix of thoughts, description, and dialog. I think you can make this format work for you. If you find you want to cover some things in greater detail or with crisper recollection than someone might manage when reflecting on their busy day, remember that Eldrar is a
mage, so he can manage it!
Phon, I’m happy to see that Eilidh has her own story. I think your style suits your characters very well. A connected series of vignettes maintains the mystery. The way you handled the incident with the pig-eyed man is a great example of gritty material presented in a way that engages rather than repels. I look forward to reading more.
Vital, I think you should go with your gut on whether to start with Ravos’ or Attia’s story. I started with a third-person male character rather than the much more comfortable for me first-person female perspective, and I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe write a little for each of them and see which one best suits your purpose? If Attia’s story really captures your imagination, that might be the one to go for even though it will challenge you more.
For your world scale I’d say make some good notes before you start writing. Get out a map and decide how many days or weeks it takes to travel from Anvil to Skingrad when the roads are in good shape, figure out how long the river and sea journeys would take, and get the scale of various communities clear in your mind. Then you can figure out the distances and such and write them down so you stay consistent. Yay for new stories!
PhonAntiPhon
Mar 11 2014, 01:42 PM
@Vital: I absolutely think that you should try your hand at writing. Its great fun and extremely rewarding apart from anything else; also forums like this are excellent incubators for writing as they allow to really work at something in a relatively protected way, particularly here at chorrol.
So go for it!
As to your other point, Eilidh's Skyrim and Niamh's Cyrodiil before her are significantly bigger than the gameworld implies. There's no issue with this. Fanfix are still creative writing and as such although rooted in the game world are under no obligation to follow it to the letter. Just because the world is only a mile across in the game does not mean it has to be in your story.
Heck, if you read anything I've written you'll see just how fast and loose I play with the lore and events!
It's not the "wrong" version, its really dependant upon how closely you want to stick to the framework the source material provides.
@haute ecole: I have definitely on occasion had issues with the appropriateness of what I have written versus whether I should post it - (not so much on this forum perhaps, but certainly on The Other One) - it's one of the reasons why I have a blog!
But seriously, it does mean you need to be a bit more creative in how you express an idea without it being *too* obvious and it does mean that you can it as an opportunity to approach things in a different way.
On another note I occasionally think that maybe I don't give my characters a break ever, but that's actually untrue, I regard success or redemption through adversity and some sort of catharsis as a very satisfying way to climax a story, and I think that's what I strive for.
In terms of realism, I'm not one to beat about the bush - (hence having to think about what I post) - the worlds my characters inhabit, and they themselves, are flawed and dirty and dangerous and all those things that get editted out of sanitised mainstream stories; characters **** and get nekkid and **** and whatever and I think it's right that - *in context* - that gets included, maybe not here(!) but somewhere!
Elisabeth Hollow
Mar 11 2014, 06:25 PM
I've decided to re-vamp Kayla's story to match the final chapter, starting from the beginning.
I'm just not sure if I should start a whole new thread or what...
SubRosa
Mar 11 2014, 06:32 PM
Vital, on the subject of writing a female character, the secret is to simply make sure that Attia is a person first, rather than a woman. If you can write a character who has their own unique personality, with their own dreams, goals, flaws, and strengths, then that is all you need to do. Being female comes in second place to all those things. Just as being heterosexual or homosexual or transgendered does, or a human or elf, or an Imperial or Stormcloak, etc... It really does not take anything special to write any of those kinds of people. All you have to do is make them a person first.
On the subject of scale, I think most writers upscale the game world dramatically. You have to if you want it to be in any way believable. Follow Grit's advice on determining your scale. Just decide how long you want for it to get from point A to point B. Then figure out the miles after that.
As a good rule of the thumb, the Roman army typically marched 20 miles in a day. Horses usually went twice that (though wagons loaded down with baggage is another story). An individual person could go farther than that of course, but an army moves together, often down a single road, and that slows everything down.
When it comes to scale of people, I suggest looking at the size of the country you create and then figure out how many people live there. Remember that more space means more farms, more farms means more food, more food means more people, etc... Big cities always had miles and miles of farmland surrounding them.
To compare, at its height in the Classical Era, Alexandria had a million people. So too with Rome and Constantinople when they were at their height. These of course were the leading cities in Europe at the time. Athens and the countryside around it had about 350 - 500k (including slaves). Other cities were smaller. For example, a provincial city like Pompeii had a population of 20,000. So if your Imperial City has a population of a million (or had before the Great War), it is not hard to imagine all the major cities of Skyrim have at least 20k people each, if not up to that half a million in the major holds.
Grits
Mar 11 2014, 06:33 PM
Are you going to re-write the whole thing and post it from the beginning? If I did that I'd close my old thread with a note and link to a new thread. Just my thoughts.

Oops, this was a reply to Hollow above.
Elisabeth Hollow
Mar 11 2014, 06:48 PM
To SubRosa: I remember when writing my fic the first time, I realized in order to have the world actually pan out and be believable, there'd have to be MUCH more people in there. Especially in the Imperial City, fifty people in an entire city wouldn't make sense.
To Grits: Yeah, that sounds good.
SubRosa
Mar 11 2014, 10:16 PM
Elisabeth: I never saw your post. I think we were writing at the same time. I agree with Grits. Start a new thread for the new version. Put a note at the beginning of the old thread saying it is shutdown, and put a link to the new version. Then ask an admin to lock the thread.
Rohirrim
Mar 11 2014, 10:29 PM
Anyone have tips on how to make my characters more relatable/empathe...empatho...more likely to have empathy for? And perhaps dialogue?
McBadgere
Mar 12 2014, 05:44 AM
Easiest tip for dialogue I can think of is...Cast your characters...Think about who you would have play them if it were TV, then write it to how they talk...And properly think about how it would work if they had to say the stuff...
George Lucas was the worst for dialogue, according to Harrison Ford...In the original Star Wars script there was so much technobabble that Ford once told Lucas to his face, "Y'know, George...You can type this *excrement but you can't say it..."...
So think about what needs saying, then think how your fave characters would have to say it out loud...
PhonAntiPhon
Mar 12 2014, 09:12 AM
QUOTE(McBadgere @ Mar 12 2014, 04:44 AM)

Easiest tip for dialogue I can think of is...Cast your characters...Think about who you would have play them if it were TV, then write it to how they talk...And properly think about how it would work if they had to say the stuff...
George Lucas was the worst for dialogue, according to Harrison Ford...In the original Star Wars script there was so much technobabble that Ford once told Lucas to his face, "Y'know, George...You can type this *excrement but you can't say it..."...
So think about what needs saying, then think how your fave characters would have to say it out loud...
LOL I remember that story.
But yes definitely this. Dialogue should not be you, it needs to be them. One good way of doing this is as McB says, think about someone else saying the lines.
Equally though, and obv YMMV - the more you regard the character as an entity in their own right, the easier it is to write the dialogue as they would say it and what they would say.
I.e. the more you can separate you from her, the more real she is and the more the dialogue becomes hers.
Vital
Mar 12 2014, 12:47 PM
Thankyou so much to everyone for their tips, recommendations and kind words

truly appreciated.
I did a bit of research about demographics in the ancient and medieval worlds and I'm starting to get some progress made in developing the scale of my world thanks to all the advice. I plan to have the general scale in my head and on paper (on my computer) before I start writing. Shouldn't be long. Time to my calculator and hard-copy skyrim map out!
As for characters, again some very sound advice. I know Attia inside out from countless hours spent on oblivion with her (she's my only game to A-bomb) and am currently rediscovering her in skyrim. It will definitely be a bit of a challenge at first, but I'm now confident I can convey her well. I'll probably just a chapter or 2 before I start posting so I can see how she comes across in my writing.
Again, all the advice is 100% appreciated and I hope to be able to follow along with some of the great stories here and soon share my own
Grits
Mar 12 2014, 09:13 PM
Great advice! Here’s my humble addition.

For dialog I think the best thing is to listen to how real people talk to one another. Especially strangers since you won’t really care what they’re saying just how they’re saying it. Real conversations look like a mess on the page, but that’s a place to start.
Also really knowing your characters makes the dialog just flow. When you can hear your characters talking in your head then it’s just a matter of getting it all down as fast as possible. I like little exercises like ‘what would Abiene order at Starbucks,’ ‘what would Darnand say to the cashier at the grocery store (nothing),’ and ‘how would Jerric diffuse this emotionally charged situation and get back to drinking.’ Let your characters ride along in your head through the day. If you know how your TES character behaves at a Laundromat or the movies, then you
really know them.
Some things to watch out for. When you the writer have to convey specific things through dialog, be extra careful that the words are still coming from the character not just through them. Also speech tags. Some folks use great creativity to let you know who is talking, she proclaimed portentously. Others use a simple he said/she said and let the dialog take all of the attention. Most fall somewhere in the middle. Since even professional writers can’t agree, I say do what you think sounds best.
PhonAntiPhon
Mar 19 2014, 01:22 PM
I think that sometimes when you've nailed the inspiration, because something just clicks, you'll find that a story will all but write itself; you end up hanging on just to try and keep some modicum of control!
For instance I'm finding Skyrim Eilidh to be very inspirational and we've just clicked. It's great but the next update currently covers both sides of nearly 20 pages of reporter's notebook! It'll be a little bit till it's up and on... LOL.
One other thing from me on dialogue, I like writing it as the character would speak it, pronunciation and so forth. Its a personal thing I guess but I find it really helps get into the character and provides differentiation to the reader.
Terry Pratchett does it for example with Death and Golems.
You can use it as technique to really emphasise differences between characters...
Callidus Thorn
Mar 19 2014, 05:37 PM
I've got another question for all you writers (sorry about this); do you ever find your writing style or format changing?
Only, I found myself breaking the format with Eldrar, first when it expanded to cover conversations replayed from memory, and now it's gone again. After Eldrar's first night in Bruma I ended up writing an interlude, pretty much sitting inside his head watching the thoughts run around his head, rather than seeing things through his journal entries.
It doesn't fit with the journal entries, chronologically it takes place both before and after the journal entry it follows(between the events and him writing the entry the next day), and it's completely different to the other parts I've written, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time.
I'm not really sure whether to run with it if this sort of thing happens again or to clamp down on it and stick to the format I've chosen.
So, what do you guys think?
McBadgere
Mar 19 2014, 07:34 PM
I think the most important thing about what you just said is that
you'd written something...
Rejoice!!...

...
If you really don't feel like it fits in with what you want to do, then either write something else, or maybe try to rewrite that one...
But never try and force what - or how - you're writing at that point into another shape...
As an exceptionally wise man recently told me...The important thing is to be happy in what you're doing...And if you're happy writing something one way...Then keep doing it...Everything else is just stuff...
ghastley
Mar 19 2014, 07:48 PM
Well you do have to explain to your reader what you're doing. Just so they know it's his thoughts, not actual current events, except that the thinking is current. But as long as you're not confusing us, it's all good.
That said, sometimes you will want to confuse your reader. Just make sure it's deliberate when you do.
SubRosa
Mar 19 2014, 09:58 PM
Maybe you should rethink the format?
If you find yourself doing something different from your format, my first impression is to go with the change. Your wrote it that way for a reason, probably because you feel more comfortable doing it that way. Or to put it simply, because it felt right. It is good to experiment and try new ways of writing, it makes us stretch our talents, and find where they really lie. But when you find what does work for you, that is what you want to stick with.
Callidus Thorn
Mar 19 2014, 10:13 PM
QUOTE(McBadgere @ Mar 19 2014, 06:34 PM)

I think the most important thing about what you just said is that
you'd written something...
Rejoice!!...

...
Writing something has never been a problem for me. Writing something I'm happy with on the other hand...
QUOTE(McBadgere @ Mar 19 2014, 06:34 PM)

If you really don't feel like it fits in with what you want to do, then either write something else, or maybe try to rewrite that one...
But never try and force what - or how - you're writing at that point into another shape...
As an exceptionally wise man recently told me...The important thing is to be happy in what you're doing...And if you're happy writing something one way...Then keep doing it...Everything else is just stuff...
Well that's the thing. On the one hand I think that it doesn't fit because it's too different. On the other hand it seemed like a natural progression as I wrote it.
Maybe I just have an issue with it because it's breaking the format and being untidy, I don't know.
I think I might as well leave it in. Maybe it's just the character's way of telling me there are some things he won't write in his journal, even though he still thinks them.
QUOTE(ghastley @ Mar 19 2014, 06:48 PM)

Well you do have to explain to your reader what you're doing. Just so they know it's his thoughts, not actual current events, except that the thinking is current. But as long as you're not confusing us, it's all good.
That said, sometimes you will want to confuse your reader. Just make sure it's deliberate when you do.

I've made it as clear as I can, without relying on external explanations, I suppose I could always introduce it. I've already got it subtitled as an interlude.
QUOTE(SubRosa @ Mar 19 2014, 08:58 PM)

Maybe you should rethink the format?
If you find yourself doing something different from your format, my first impression is to go with the change. Your wrote it that way for a reason, probably because you feel more comfortable doing it that way. Or to put it simply, because it felt right. It is good to experiment and try new ways of writing, it makes us stretch our talents, and find where they really lie. But when you find what does work for you, that is what you want to stick with.
I guess I'll have to. I'm happier with it than most of the journal entries, but the focus of it is so much narrower. And I don't think that the content could fit into his journal, it's mostly the thought process which would end up as a couple of lines that don't say as much about the character.
I'm not sure I need to change what I've got so far, but I guess I could leave open the possibility of more of these little interludes that might come to me.
Either that or I've got to scrap the whole lot. And I'd rather not do that.
I was hoping to start a thread in a week or two.
treydog
Mar 20 2014, 01:49 AM
QUOTE(Callidus Thorn @ Mar 19 2014, 12:37 PM)

I've got another question for all you writers (sorry about this); do you ever find your writing style or format changing?
Only, I found myself breaking the format with Eldrar, first when it expanded to cover conversations replayed from memory, and now it's gone again. After Eldrar's first night in Bruma I ended up writing an interlude, pretty much sitting inside his head watching the thoughts run around his head, rather than seeing things through his journal entries.
It doesn't fit with the journal entries, chronologically it takes place both before and after the journal entry it follows(between the events and him writing the entry the next day), and it's completely different to the other parts I've written, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time.
I'm not really sure whether to run with it if this sort of thing happens again or to clamp down on it and stick to the format I've chosen.
So, what do you guys think?
As long as you do something typographically (or otherwise) to clearly differentiate between the types of narrative, having a couple of different perspectives is not really a problem. Most of my work has been first person narrative- but there were a few time when I wanted to present events or conversations that neither of the main characters witnessed. Because I built the Interludes in between the chapters, I had a convenient
dumping ground place to put those bits of explication.
I can see a dual-format narrative working quite well- the personal, close-in perspective of the journal working in harmony (or counterpoint) to the omniscient narrator providing a wider view of events. (And also. as you noted, perhaps indicating thoughts the character had but does not want to commit to the page).
All that said, I would not recommend going overboard with points-of-view... if you get some sort of Russian novel going where it is 200 pages before we realize that we have been listening to the thoughts of the main character's horse.....
The story will tell you how it wants to be told. Certainly for the first pass, take what it gives you. Once the words are on the page, there will be time to decide if the manner of telling is what you want.
PhonAntiPhon
Mar 20 2014, 07:32 AM
QUOTE(treydog @ Mar 20 2014, 12:49 AM)

The story will tell you how it wants to be told. Certainly for the first pass, take what it gives you. Once the words are on the page, there will be time to decide if the manner of telling is what you want.
Never was a truer word spoken.
This I think, will go in my signature...
Cardboard Box
Mar 21 2014, 10:22 AM
I've found myself excising chunks of the third fanfic involving Ra'jirra, since they involve a concept that really has no relevance to the plot at all, and would work better in a separate story.
Darkness Eternal
Mar 23 2014, 07:12 PM
Yeah, I had to exclude a few things of Kraven's story that would feel/fit better in a separate one. The issue I'm having is that my current story has different characters with their own agendas and goals. The location is in this fortress/stronghold built like a prison.
Thing is it won't stay in that location for too long, as the tale will eventually move from there to somewhere completely different and the focus on some characters will have to switch. I don't think it would be wise to write the life-changing happenings of one character and then say "Meanwhile in this stronghold."
McBadgere
Apr 26 2014, 04:50 AM
Hey!...

...
Soooo, right...How often do you find research completely derailing you from the actual writing...
I now find myself trying to find out what a specific type of tree is...

...
Bear in mind it's in Britain, so it's not one of them gigantic Californian Redwood things, but there's this line of trees I've been seeing for years...Now I come to use that in a story, I discover that if I ever actually knew what they are, I've forgotten it...Shockingly enough...

...
But they're very tall, pointy and sway-y...But big and solid with it too...Y'know?...
Anyways, my question is, has anyone else found themselves chasing some random bit of research rather than
actually writing?...

...
Grits
Apr 26 2014, 04:42 PM
Yes. Very much. Then scribbling down all sorts of disjointed ideas that have nothing to do with the work underway. It’s like thinking with a net rather than a line. I end up with more than I was fishing for, but it’s mostly interesting stuff.
SubRosa
Apr 26 2014, 04:56 PM
I am so guilty of this. I can spend hours and hours doing research. Whether it is looking things up in the books I own, scouring Wikipedia, The Arma, and other web sources, or going through recreationist videos. Name sites where I often waste a huge amount of time. Since every name has to be just right, both in how it looks on the page, sounds when you pronounce it, and what the meaning of it is.
But also it is because I have to be in the right frame of mind to write. If I am tired, I just cannot do it. I do not have the emotional energy. But I still have the energy to research, since that is just looking things up and taking notes for later use. So when I have a long day at work (and it has been a long month and half!) I am too tired to write the story. But I might still put in an hour or more of researching things.
PhonAntiPhon
Apr 27 2014, 06:46 PM
I try not to get too caught up, I'll research kind of on the fly if I come up against something that needs rather more specific accuracy than I'm normally likely to be accused of!
Callidus Thorn
May 6 2014, 09:11 PM
Sorry to haul another question in here for you guys, but I find I need some advice.
I've run into something of a problem with Caught in the Web:
The original idea was for Mephala's daedric quest to play a role in the story, with the notion of the whole playing out in three parts. The problem is that Mephala's quest was one of the lynchpins of that idea, which makes it unworkable. Tarvyn's set up with only three majors: Destruction, blade, and marksman, the rest are just filler. So for him to reach level 15, everyone of those three will have to be beyond expert rank, which is going to take one hell of a long time. Since it was kind of crucial to the whole Web theme, I find myself in a rather uncomfortable position.
So to put it simply, the web is unravelling.
Any advice on what to do in this sort of situation?
ghastley
May 6 2014, 10:07 PM
Cheat! The game may require level 15, but there are no levels in Fan Fiction, and especially not from the point of view of the character. He's not going to find "You must level 15" written in his journal, so just do it already!
That specific quest doesn't have any real requirements that any character can't meet. The developers only put the level restriction on, so that the reward would not be OP. With that in mind, reduce the reward, or whatever you need to continue the tale afterwards.
Callidus Thorn
May 6 2014, 10:50 PM
I tend to try and stick as close as possible to in-game events, and doing that would basically mean me trying to write something based off the UESPwiki entry for the quest. I sincerely doubt I could write anything half decent, let alone something good off of it.
And the point of it isn't the quest, but the murder. Being former Morag Tong he doesn't go in for murder outside of a contract, and doesn't have a reason to murder anyone in Cyrodiil anyway. So it'd pretty much require me to break the roleplay and go out of character to pull it off.
Edit: Urgh
*facepalms*
I'm an idiot. The solution's simple: Throw Mephala's quest into an Oblivion Portal, and come up with something more suitable to replace it.
Grits
May 7 2014, 10:27 PM
That’s what I would have suggested had I gotten here in a timely manner, Callidus. Let the game inspire the story but not limit it.
Callidus Thorn
May 8 2014, 10:16 AM
Grits- Thanks for the advice, I guess I've been sticking a little closer to the game than I really need to.
Sorry to keep asking all these, but I've got another question, this time it's actually about the writing process:
Do you ever find yourself rewriting what you've got so far?
Only, with Caught in the Web it's sort of reached the point where I'll write something, and then when I'm giving it a once over before posting I'll end up rewriting chunks of it, which really eats up time.
Any advice or tips that might help reduce this?
treydog
May 8 2014, 12:47 PM
QUOTE(Callidus Thorn @ May 8 2014, 05:16 AM)

Grits- Thanks for the advice, I guess I've been sticking a little closer to the game than I really need to.
Sorry to keep asking all these, but I've got another question, this time it's actually about the writing process:
Do you ever find yourself rewriting what you've got so far?
Only, with Caught in the Web it's sort of reached the point where I'll write something, and then when I'm giving it a once over before posting I'll end up rewriting chunks of it, which really eats up time.
Any advice or tips that might help reduce this?
Asking questions is what the thread is for- so please go ahead...
It sounds like you are trying to post from a first draft... The time you take to get it the way you WANT it is not wasted or lost. Different methods of writing/revising work for different people, but here are some things to try.
"Free-write" the first draft as much as possible. Don't worry about punctuation, spelling, etc. Do make marginal or in-line notes as they occur to you, but keep going.
When you get to a stopping place, let it rest. Give it the rest of the day or overnight before you come back to it.
Now- you still aren't ready to post- because you are now revising. This is where you fix whatever you see that needs rewritten.
Now- let THAT draft rest too.
At this point, you may be ready to post. Read what you have, make minor changes if needed (or major ones).
The thing is- there should not be a "clock" in your head about how often to post. And it is also good to have material "in the bank" that you can post up later.
Because I am old, my drafting process is a matter of writing the first pass in a notebook. (OK- printing it in a notebook- even I can't read my handwriting). The physical connection to the paper helps me "see" the material. And I can use 3 colors of ink and make notes to myself and draw circles and arrows and so forth. That gets transcribed into Word, where I usually fix some things (and make new mistakes, about which what comes next). When I think I have a post, I read it out loud. That forces me to SEE what is written and to slow down. It also tends to ferret out the places where the writing "clunks" or is hard to follow. I fix THOSE places (and the inevitable typos)- and then am ready to post it.
PhonAntiPhon
May 8 2014, 01:27 PM
QUOTE(Callidus Thorn @ May 8 2014, 10:16 AM)

Grits- Thanks for the advice, I guess I've been sticking a little closer to the game than I really need to.
Do you ever find yourself rewriting what you've got so far?
Only, with Caught in the Web it's sort of reached the point where I'll write something, and then when I'm giving it a once over before posting I'll end up rewriting chunks of it, which really eats up time.
I rewrite stuff all of the time.
As others have said, drafts are important. All mine are written in longhand in a notepad, then read and adjusted as necessary. Then I type them up and often rewrite sections both big and small. Sometimes I reject whole chunks...
Often, as now, my drafts are a lot further ahead than what I have actually posted; both the paper draft and the draft in my head. This is a good thing as it gives and maintains context.
Remember a story is not an isolated series of vignettes that are strung together. However obscure, all stories form a narrative whole, so having drafts in hand is important.
Don't worry about rewrites and time; your story will take as long as it takes to tell and go through as many drafts as are necessary - sometimes more, sometimes less.
Don't sweat it.
Remember also that your story is about your characters and not about the game. Everyone knows about the plot of the game, what they are interested in is your characters' stories...
ghastley
May 8 2014, 01:56 PM
QUOTE(PhonAntiPhon @ May 8 2014, 08:27 AM)

Remember also that your story is about your characters and not about the game. Everyone knows about the plot of the game, what they are interested in is your characters' stories...
Just to pick up on that thought. You do need to remember that unless told otherwise, the readers will assume the events of the game, so you need to make any separation early on. Whether it's "the events you know have all already happened" or "the usual program will not be shown because..." you make the announcement and then move on.
In your current story, it's more subtle, so you are going to be pointing out the deliberate changes (as opposed to mistakes) as you go along for a while longer. This is the hardest phase of the writing, as you're trying to establish your character's world as distinct from the readers' assumptions. But that means it gets easier as you go along, and the clues pile up and your readers can't have missed them all.
Callidus Thorn
May 8 2014, 08:39 PM
Thanks for the advice guys. My previous attempts at writing were a case of: playing-> writing-> posting (usually a time delay before posting though), and there wasn't a redraft, I'd pretty much post what I'd first written. It's only when I'm going over what I'm writing that I realise little ways in which the story's changed in my mind between drafts. But I find I'm a lot happier with what I'm writiing this time around, so I guess it must be a good thing.
Of course, it would help if I was taking better notes. Because my handwriting's so appalling I don't write things down, I picked up a cheap dictaphone some time back, and I use that. Still feels like I'm talking to myself though, and I'm not really used to taking notes yet. I do all the writing on my laptop, whenever possible just after playing the game, even though the game's ahead of what I'm writing, or rewriting.
Still, I think I'm getting better
Darkness Eternal
May 8 2014, 11:36 PM
I've seen plenty of writers do a part II of a single story while some write/update a single thread. For example, mALX's story has a single thread whereas Acadian's Buffy the Bowgirl spans in different parts.
I'm curious for those who do separate their stories into segments, why do you do it? To facilitate things for the readers? Also, do you guys recommend me separating my story into two parts or keeping it in one part?
Acadian
May 9 2014, 12:45 AM
I had been writing for quite awhile over on the BethSoft fanfic forum before moving here. So in my case, I was used to the ‘lock threads at 200 posts’ rule they have there. That’s really all there was to it. It was a learning process for me.
haute ecole rider
May 9 2014, 01:13 AM
DE, like Acadian I started Julian's story over on the Bethsoft Forums. Like him, I started a new thread whenever I hit 200 posts. I continued that trend here when I moved Julian to Chorrol.
However, Lady Cora of Cardonaccum is a single thread, and I intend to keep it that way. I think it will be fine, as her story is not as long as Julian's.
PhonAntiPhon
May 9 2014, 08:11 AM
QUOTE(Callidus Thorn @ May 8 2014, 08:39 PM)

Still feels like I'm talking to myself though, and I'm not really used to taking notes yet. I do all the writing on my laptop, whenever possible just after playing the game, even though the game's ahead of what I'm writing, or rewriting.
Still, I think I'm getting better

Nothing wrong with going over it like that! I do mull the story over to myself, sometimes in the car I'll just have myself a conversation to see where it's going.
Handwriting or not I do think it's useful to just properly write things, it does give you a different perspective. I personally find doing everything on a PC a very soulless experience and that using paper puts a little more personality back in.
To be honest I'd be in less of a hurry to write after playing. Puts too much obligation on the "play write play write" dynamic which I don't think leaves enough room for expression. Mind you, YMMV and all that, I barely play the game anymore as it is and I write about Skyrim more than I play! Your story and the game you play will inevitably move at their own different paces and that's no bad thing either.
Anyway enough if my rambling. However you do it, if you enjoy it and you're getting better every time, then that's really all you need!
QUOTE(Darkness Eternal @ May 8 2014, 11:36 PM)

I've seen plenty of writers do a part II of a single story while some write/update a single thread. For example, mALX's story has a single thread whereas Acadian's Buffy the Bowgirl spans in different parts.
I'm curious for those who do separate their stories into segments, why do you do it? To facilitate things for the readers? Also, do you guys recommend me separating my story into two parts or keeping it in one part?
I tend to split stuff at natural breaks in the narrative as otherwise, particularly given the space restrictions in the threads, you just end up with a massive wall of text which can be a bit exhausting to read.
Also it's helpful to I think as a narrative device to keep things interesting, and practically it means that if I don't have my drafts handy and I forget where I am I have less to read through to find my place!
I would definitely keep a single thread if possible, but equally split it up within that.