Part 2
Meanwhile, somewhere in a dungeon in Cyrodiil...
Presumably The Final Boss: "Now that there's no Emperor in Cyrodiil left, it will be easy for me to invade it. All I need in order to make sure that I can never be stopped is the Amulet of Kings. I understand that Sinder has left in a certain castle..."
Rafharheraf: "Indeed, he was captured and the amulet was taken from him."
Presumably The Final Boss: "Give me the amulet and I will give you this artifact of a necromantic nature. I believe that you will find a use for it..."
Later, in Zar's castle.
Zar: "So, he took everything from that chest except for this amulet?"
Zar's Guard 4: "Yes, boss. We don't know what the amulet's purpose is, but an unknown wizard has offered to buy it for an exorbitant price."
Zar: "Well, that should cover our expenses. Sell it to him. I'll find out where Sinder Velvin is and then I'll have him killed! For good this time!"
Some time after that, in a tower in Cyrodiil...
Evil Minion: "My lord, the one called Zar has agreed to sell you the amulet."
Rafharheraf: "Good. Very good. Now that I have the Amulet of Kings, I will be able to give it to Presumably and he will give me the necromantic artifact."
Evil Minion: "But, if you give him the Amulet of Kings, won't he be able to invade Cyrodiil?"
Rafharheraf: "Well, of course he will be able to invade Cyrodiil. But I can use the necromantic artifact to stop him. You see, my friend, Plan C didn't work, because mere assasins cannot kill Sinder Velvin. There is only one being that I know of that can defeat Sinder Velvin. If I have the necromantic artifact, I can make that being obey me. Suffice to say that, if it can defeat Sinder, it can also defeat Presumably."
Evil Minion: "So... This is Plan D?"
Rafharheraf: "No, Plan D was too dumb... It could never work. This is Plan E."
Evil Minion: "Alright."
A bit later, in Zar's castle.
Zar's Guard 5: "Boss, it would appear that the person that you sold that amulet to was actually the same person that send those assasins here."
Zar: "So that wizard is one of Sinder's buddies!?"
Zar's Guard 5: "It would appear so. Perhaps Sinder wanted his amulet back so he asked the wizard to buy it from you?"
Zar: "It is, indeed, quite possible. Well, you know what you have to do! Kill that wizard!"
The next day, in a tower in Cyrodiil.
Evil Minion: "My lord, it would appear that the one we bought the amulet from is, in fact, the one in whose castle Sinder Velvin hid a while ago."
Rafharheraf: "If they're friends, why would this Zar fellow sell Sinder's amulet?"
Evil Minion: "Maybe Sinder left it in his castle and Zar thought it was his own. Who knows?"
Rafharheraf: "Yes, that's possible. Well, if this Zar fellow interferes with my plans, I will have him killed."
Several hours later, in a dungeon somewhere in Cyrodiil...
Presumably The Final Boss: "Do you have the Amulet of Kings?"
Rafharheraf: "Sure, here it is."
Presumably The Final Boss: "Ok, here's the artifact of necromantic power. Farewell."
Rafharheraf: "Goodbye."
The necromancer tried to leave the chamber he was in, but Presumably's guards surrounded him.
Presumably The Final Boss: "You didn't actually think that I was going to let you go with an artifact of such a high value, now did you?"
Rafharheraf: "I know how to cast recall, you know."
Presumably The Final Boss: "Damn, I didn't think of that!"
The necromancer used recall on himself and vanished. A few days later, in a tower in Cyrodiil.
Evil Minion: "My lord, Presumably has started conquering the countryside!"
Rafharheraf: "Yes, I know. And this artifact isn't working well, so there's no way we can stop him now!"
Evil Minion: "But... Isn't Presumably the final boss?"
Rafharheraf: "He is presumably the final boss, yes."
Evil Minion: "And Sinder is the player character. So can't Sinder defeat Presumably?"
Rafharheraf: "Yes, he could. After all, if Presumably is the final boss and Sinder is the player character, Sinder should fight Presumably at the end of the main quest."
Evil Minion: "But... Presumably does have a gigantic army. I don't think Sinder could defeat Presumably's army."
Rafharheraf: "Presumably has to stick, more or less, with the storyline, right? And with the main quest as well."
Evil Minion: "Yes."
Rafharheraf: "He has to stick with them because they're coded into the game. That's why, if Sinder beats Presumably, the game is basically over. Now, the developers did say that they would make this game much more balanced, didn't they?"
Evil Minion: "Yes, they did."
Rafharheraf: "If the game is balanced, it's completable. Presumably must make sure that the game is completable, so he has to make sure that he, himself, is beatable."
Evil Minion: "Indeed. But, if Sinder beats Presumably, doesn't the game end? We don't want the game to end, we want to rule Cyrodiil."
Rafharheraf: "The player can still continue to play the game even after the game has been beaten. Have you never played Morrowind?"
Evil Minion: "But how will we make Sinder follow the main quest? So far, he hasn't followed it at all!"
Rafharheraf: "I'm going to have to talk to him and convince him that, if he doesn't defeat Presumably, all of Cyrodiil shall be destroyed."
Evil Minion: "Shouldn't we capture him, then? Or at least lure him here?"
Rafharheraf: "No, not at all. You know how these things turn out. You think that you've got the hero in your lair and that he can never escape, but, then, all of a sudden, he gets lucky, escapes and messes up your plans completely! And I can't go to him, because, if I go to him, clich�s dictate that it will be the final battle between me and him. Meaning that I die. We don't want that."
Evil Minion: "In that case, how do we talk him into it?"
Rafharheraf: "We need a computer, first of all."
Evil Minion: "How are we going to get a computer in Cyrodiil?"
Rafharheraf: "E-bay."
Evil Minion: "But we need a computer and an internet connection to visit e-bay."
Rafharheraf: "Both can be found in the place known as Oblivion. Just capture a Daedra and convince that Daedra to help us."
Evil Minion: "But don't we need a credit card to make transactions through e-bay?"
Rafharheraf: "We must make some sort of forgery..."
Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away, Fargoth had been healed. He had a new robotic arm to replace the arm that had been cut off from him and he also had robotic eyes. He also had cool new cybernetic implants that undoubtedly turned him into the most powerful jedi the galaxy had ever seen. He looked a little like General Grievous from Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of The Sith. Anyway, he became the new emperor of the Galactic Empire.
Darth Fargoth: "Palpatine is not completely dead yet. As a visitor of the official Star Wars website, I know from the database that in the Extended Universe he has a bunch of clones that he reincarnates into. In that order of ideas, in order to make sure that we never meet him again, I want you folks to use the Death Star to destroy the planet Byss, since that's the planet that he keeps his clones on. Muahahahaha!"
Commander: "Yes, my Dark Lord."
Darth Fargoth: "And I also want a stable internet connection."
The next day, the planet Byss had been destroyed. There were now no more traces of Palpatine. Meanwhile, in Cyrodiil, somewhere on a road.
Sinder Velvin: "So many bad guys are trying to capture and/or kill us. I wonder why."
Creeper: "Like Zar, they probably just want to show off."
Suddenly, a man in black robes appeared on the road ahead.
Sinder Velvin: "That guy sure looks like a villain."
Creeper: "Tell me about it."
Sinder Velvin: "Let's kill him."
Minion of Rafharheraf: "Hey, wait a minute! I'm just here to negotiate with you folks!"
Sinder Velvin: "You are?"
Minion of Rafharheraf: "Yes, I'm a minion of the Dark Lord Rafharheraf..."
Sinder Velvin: "Oh, you're friends with that guy? That's it, you're dead."
Minion of Rafharheraf: "Now, please wait a minute! He doesn't want to fight you anymore! He just wants to talk to you. Because he realizes that there could be a lot of clich�s if he meets you in person, he wants to meet you on IRC."
Sinder Velvin: "Is this a joke or what?"
Minion of Rafharheraf: "No, it isn't. I'm the minion of a bad guy, so I can't have any sense of humor."
Creeper: "He's got a point, boss. He's got to be serious."
Sinder Velvin: "Alright, tell him that I'll meet him tomorrow on irc.chatspike.net, on the channel #elderscrolls."
Minion of Rafharheraf: "I shall do that. And, now, goodbye!"
Rafharheraf's minion used a recall spell on himself and vanished. Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away.
Commander: "Your highness, the planet that you asked us to destroy has been destroyed."
Darth Fargoth: "Excellent work. Now, do we have a stable internet connection?"
Commander: "Yes, my liege."
Darth Fargoth: "Good. I want to play some Counter Strike. Muahahahaha!"
The next day, in Cyrodiil.
Sinder Velvin: "Well, Creeper, I've gotta go now. I must meet Rafharheraf on IRC... Even though I can't possibly imagine where he's got a computer and internet connection from."
Creeper: "Bye, boss."
I exited the game and restarted my computer, after which I started up Trillian and got connected to irc.chatspike.net. I identified myself with my password, after which I joined the channel #elderscrolls.
Session Start (stewie.chatspike.net:#elderscrolls): Tue Jan 9 20:25:32 2007
*** Now talking in #elderscrolls.
*** Topic of #elderscrolls: Official Unofficial Elder Scrolls Channel- Warez are bad, mkay? Elder Scrolls official website is at: www.elderscrolls.com. Test your knowledge in #ESTrivia!
*** Set by Freddo 6753 minutes ago
*** Users on #elderscrolls: _alexander_ @Archie seb @Freddo stargelman
*** End of /NAMES list.
*** Mode for channel #elderscrolls is "+ntr"
*** Channel #elderscrolls was created at Fri Oct 29 00:03:45 2004
* Freddo giggles
* stargelman doesn't like that mod too much
<_alexander_> it's actually one of my favorites
<_alexander_> hi sinder :D
* seb had to upgrade his video card to play oblivion, but it was worth it ;)
<_alexander_> I haven't seen HappyAdolf around here for a while
<_alexander_> he's probably playing the game, like everybody else..
<_alexander_> when he came here earlier today, all he wanted to know was how to get past a quest
<_alexander_> after he found out how, he left :(
* Freddo is sad
*** w0nders (chizelstic@ChatSpike-D28DBC10.cust11.sa.dsl.ozemail.com.au) has joined channel #elderscrolls
<_alexander_> Oblivion has wonderful graphics and enviroment interaction, but Morrowind had a certain feeling to it..
<_alexander_> but I think I like Oblivion a little more than Morrowind
<_alexander> hi w0nders
* _alexander_ is sad that sinder is running out of inspiration :((((
*** seb is now known as seb|modding
<_alexander_> what are you modding, seb?
<_alexander> the new CS is really nice :D
*** Rafharheraf (necromancer@ChatSpike-B78XZN25.tamriel.cyrodiil.dark.tower.tes) has joined channel #elderscrolls
<_alexander_> hi raf
<_alexander_> hey, raf, your name sounds familiar
<_alexander_> where do you live, rafharheraf?
<_alexander_> really?
*** Skeleton (skeleton@ChatSpike-A23TWG61.tamriel.cyrodiil.dark.tower.tes) has joined channel #elderscrolls
<_alexander_> hello skeleton
*** Evil_Minion (evilminion@ChatSpike-RQ4F3M57.tamriel.cyrodiil.dark.tower.tes) has joined channel #elderscrolls
<_alexander> hi
*** seb|modding is now known as seb
*** Wizard (wizard@ChatSpike-V6713P57.tamriel.cyrodiil.dark.tower.tes) has joined channel #elderscrolls
Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away.
Darth Fargoth: "Taste that!"
Officer: "My liege, we have a problem. It shall be, perhaps, necessary that you stop from playing Counter Strike."
Darth Fargoth: "Why? What has happened?"
Officer: "Apparently, somebody on an IRC server used (c) 'muahahahaha!', which is a trademark of (c) Darth Fargoth's Evil Galactic Empire. We should sue them."
Darth Fargoth: "Sue them? No, my minion, we shall not sue them. For what they have done, they deserve to be killed! Muahahahaha!"
Officer: "This IRC server is in a different universe, so it will take some time for us to get connected to it."
Darth Fargoth: "Do whatever it takes. The fools who dared use my trademark shall perish!"
Back to the channel #elderscrolls...
I sent a private message to Rafharheraf telling him that "warez" mean "wares". I told him that he needs to tell the people there that he sells warez in order for people to respect him.
*** Rafharheraf has been kicked off channel #elderscrolls by Freddo (Warez are bad, mkay?)
<_alexander_> what a strange person
*** Rafharheraf (necromancer@ChatSpike-B78XZN25.tamriel.cyrodiil.dark.tower.tes) has joined channel #elderscrolls
Rafharheraf and his minions insulted the people on the channel and, for that, they were kicked and banned from the channel.
*** Darth_Fargoth (DarthFargoth@ChatSpike-L12PQ123.emperor.death.star.sith.sw) has joined channel #elderscrolls
<_alexander_> yet another strange fellow that visits us this evening
Darth Fargoth had his officers hack into my computer and steal the multiplayer patch. He had them modify it somewhat.
* Darth_Fargoth uses to force to make everybody shut up until he wants them to talk
together, we would wield a power too terrible to behold
* Darth_Fargoth uses to force on stargelman to make him shut up
Fargoth actually somehow managed to use the force on the people there, but Freddo and Archie were immune to the force, seeing as they were moderators, and thus demigods. I was also able to resist, as I had activated my firewall after my computer had been hacked.
Fargoth used the force to mind control Alexander, known on IRC as _alexander_, to stargelman, to sjvan0, known on IRC as seb, and to w0nders. He sent them the following orders through private messages.
He gave them the link and they were forced to download it. Back on the channel...
*** Darth_Fargoth has been kicked off channel #elderscrolls by Freddo (Don't annoy people intentionally)
*** Signoff: _alexander_ ((CS) Quit: I must obey my really evil master.)
*** Signoff: stargelman ((CS) Quit: I must obey my really evil master.)
*** Signoff: seb ((CS) Quit: I must obey my really evil master.)
*** Signoff: w0nders ((CS) Quit: I must obey my really evil master.)
Fargoth sent me a private message.
That's when he left. In order to save my friends, I closed Trillian and started playing Oblivion in multiplayer. I found myself in the same place that I had been when I had left the game a while before, with Creeper by my side.
Creeper: "Hello, boss!"
Sinder Velvin: "Creeper, it's a long story, but Fargoth managed to come into this world again. He managed to bring some real life people here as well. If they die here, they will enter comas in real life. That's not good. That's not good at all."
Creeper: "Holy muffins! We've got to stop him!"
Sinder Velvin: "Yes we do. Any ideas where to find other players in Cyrodiil?"
Meanwhile, somewhere in Cyordiil.
Storm Trooper 1: "Yes, my Dark Lord?"
Darth Fargoth: "Find them. Kill them. And bring me their heads."
A legion of storm troopers started looking for the players in a certain forest that was very close to me. That forest was the place where Alexander, Stargelman, Sebastian and W0nders had been taken to. Since Creeper couldn't help me locate the players, I used a Detect NPC spell and I saw the army of storm troopers on the ingame map. I realized that the players were there, so me and Creeper sneaked into the forest. After a lot of sneaking around, I finnaly saw Stargelman behind a tree.
Sinder Velvin: "Psst! Stargelman! It's me!"
Stargelman: "Finnaly! I've been waiting for you for a long time."
Sinder Velvin: "I bet. Where are the other guys?"
Stargelman: "They are right here."
Suddenly, we saw a storm trooper.
Storm Trooper 2: "There they are! After them!"
Sinder Velvin: "RUUUUUUUUN!!!"
We started running from the storm troopers that were shooting at us. We ran and ran and ran, and, seeing as the other players' characters reflected their real life selves, they got tired very quickly. We had hidden ourselves near a large bush when the dragon of Cyrodiil appeared.
Dragon: "$0, w3 m337 4g41n, d00d. 4nd, 7h1$ 71m3, 1m r34lly g01ng 70 k1ll y0u."
Sinder Velvin: "I don't know what the heck you're saying, but this really isn't a good time for things like this. We're being chased by storm troopers that want to kill us."
Dragon: "0h, 7h3y w0n7 k1ll y0u. 1ll k1ll y0u f1r$7!"
The dragon tried to kill me by throwing flames at me, but I managed to dodge them.
Dragon: "Y0u c4n d0dg3 my fl4m3$, huh? W3ll, 1ll k1ll y0ur fr13nd$ 7h3n!"
He turned towards my friends.
Dragon: "9r394r3 70 b3 9wn3d!"
Suddenly, a group of storm troopers appeared near us.
Storm Trooper 3: "What the hell is that?"
Storm Trooper 4: "A dragon! It's with them! It's their ally! Destroy the dragon!"
They all started shooting at the dragon.
Dragon: "0h, 1 kn0w wh0 1m k1ll1ng f1r$7!"
The dragon started attacking the storm troopers. We took advantage of this and ran away, but the storm troopers knew where we were. While a group of storm troopers were fighting the dragon, another group was chasing us. Suddenly, Sebastian tripped over a branch and fell to the ground. We stopped running to get Sebastian back up, but the storm troopers started shooting at us. They shot Sebastian in his shoulder. Stargelman grabbed his hand and we started running again. Eventually, after running for a long time, the storm troopers lost us.
Sinder Velvin: "We finnaly escaped from them."
Stargelman: "Yes, but Sebastian is hurt."
W0nders: "We need to get him to a healer or something."
Creeper: "Yeah."
Sebastian: "Wait a minute..."
Creeper: "What is it?"
Sebastian: "Where's Alexander?"
Somewhere in the forest...
Alexander: "Darn... I've become separated from the group. I need to find them."
He started walking through the forest, trying to find any footsteps that would lead to us. However, he followed the footsteps of storm troopers... After walking for a while, he became so tired that he had to take a break. Someone approached him.
Alexander: "What? Who is Y€