ok, post evilness here now

Shouldn't you post the list of our titles and permits and standing deals and stuff?

Being EVIL, I've decided to do that.

OFFICIAL BOARD MEMBERS OF THE COALITION OF EVIL GENIUSES

DoomedOne: King of the Space-Time Continuam, State Secretary of Genetic Manipulation and Board Leader of the Coalition of Evil Geniuses
HQ: Cretacious Period
Army: Genetically Modified Dinosaurs from Alternate Dimensions

Shogun: CEO of Intergalactic Affairs
HQ: Moonbase
Army: Samurai Snipers

Override: Overlord of all things BOOM
HQ: Chinese sweatshop
Army: Overworked Chinese children

Minque: Mistress of all things POOF
HQ: Facility in North Atlantic
Army: Finland Navy

Gamer: Governor of all matters with direct relevance to Utah or Wyoming
HQ: Mormon National Bank
Army: Jahova's Witness Mercenary Guild

Dantrag: Supreme Overlord of all Oceanic activity and Legislator of Nuclear Weapons.
HQ: Facility in Pacific abyss
Army: Various Genetically modified Sea Creatures (approval granted)

ED: Fuhrer of Totalitarian matters and Dystopian ideas and Master Chief of the DHSP
HQ: Secret Police Complex
Army: Death's Hand Secret Police

Soulseeker: Chief of the Elite Secret Ninja Guild
HQ: Somewhere on the Moon
Army: Ninjas

Chumba: Chief Operations Manager for Paradoxical and Otherwise Strangely Improbable and Terrifying Events and Captain of the Pirates' Coalition against World Peace, and Founder of the Organization, Pirates Against Drunk Driving (PADD)
HQ: Carribean?
Army: Pirates

Lonewolf: Evil Executive Manager (Sorry too many overlords) of Earthquakes, Volcanoes, Lava, Magma and Rock
HQ: Bunking with Minque (temp)
Army: Fire retardent Wolfmen (approval granted)

BobV: Food Khan
HQ: McDonald's Parking lot
Army: Food monsters (Awaiting my approval)

Wurlon: Official Coalition Guardsman
HQ: Coalition Headquarters (Starbucks Coffee Main-Office)
Army: n/a

Neck'Thall: Master and Commander of the Floating Island, "Laputa"
HQ: Laputa
Army: Laputa's army

Megil: Cruel Director of Poisonous and pollutive activity.
HQ: South Pole
Army: Pending


DoomedOne, can I, along with fastfood monsters, create fastfood drones? They will be bred in breeding facilities using the McDonalds chain as a front, and when eaten, will implant a mechanical chip into the digestive system of the unfortunate fools, which will allow us to control them. Ain't I teh evil. Should you desire a tribute, we can send a few truckloads of unmodified fastfood to you or anyone else you want to recieve it.

Don't get me wrong BobV, the Pirates Against World Peace thing is good, but Pirates Against Drunk Driving? The only reason my pirates would ever be against drunk driving would be because they prefer drunken sailing instead.

If it is approved by the council, I'd like to add various other creatures to my army as support units, including Surveilance Parrots, Swashbuckling Lawyers, Rum Sellers, Cutlass Repairmen and Cannoneers. I would also like to request that the council give me a grant to buy a large amount of black cloth, some white spray paint, and a skull and various sizes of Skull and Crossbones stencils. I could buy the flags ready made, of course, but I think my pirates would appreciate being able to make their own flags, as the flags really are an important part of their identities.

I only copypasted it, 'twas posted by the boss of bosses.

LMAO " k guys, It's craft time, everyone grab your blac cloth, pick up a stencil and a sponge, then return to your chairs. Isn't this fun"

.....

"Alright, so now that we have taped the stencils on, i will pour some white paint on the disposable plates infront of you. gently dab the sponge into the paint, avoid getting too much....No billy you're doing it wrong, here you do it like this."


LMAO

Dude. That's EVIL.

I was making fun of your pirate thing chumba. Read the list in the last thread, it's there too.

Bob, I can only contain you in genetic manipulation, you can have a permit for that. I'm really only a board leader, I just happen to have usurped power over the most productive fields of evil geniosity.

When I get back from school I reveal my plan to use Hitler clones to take over the world.

Very well then.

*begins producing genetically modified fastfood monsters at McDonalds restaurants*

Aaaaarrrgghhhh You can´t be serious!


*picks up the phone to call all NPPs in order to assemble fuel-elements*

Gamer: Governor of all matters with direct relevance to Utah or Wyoming
HQ: A Treehouse
Army: Two hundred squirrels armed with water balloons

Bobv got it wrong, so I corrected it. It should look like above.

I'd like a permit to fill my Squirrel's water balloons with nuclear waste.

now would you like those squirrels regular or genetically modified?

Perhaps if they could have two extra hands on their sides, in order to hold more water ballons.

i'd also recommend retractable claws, as to not pop water balloons.

If you wish to use a potent poison, I may give you permit, assuming you tell em firs what poison you wish to use. acids are quite toxic, as are strong bases. just an offer.

you may use nuclear waste to fill the baloons with. I will send you a shipment right away, gamer.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an idea, how about, we hijack some nuclear warheads and hold the world ransom for......ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Hmmm, my army of Chinese Sweatshop workers are inserting mind control transmitters in all the Nike footware we're currently making. Ha, tomorrow belongs to me... wait, where have I heard that before?

I have replaced my mutant-robotic otters with regular, run of the mill cyber-otters... 10-foot tall, exploding cyber-otters... with lasers for eyes... and I'll go and lie down now.










Oh, and BWAHAHAHAHAHA (again)

bit lame ED.
that all you got?

Make it 1 million dollars and the ownership of Bethesda softworks, Eddy-boy. NYAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH! ™

At least I've got an army, and a dark dank complex of tortur.........love chambers.

Love chambers?! If all you do all day is making out during work hours I'm in favor of cutting your funding short. That brings up the idea, have we got a treasurer yet?

My orders of business:

Gamer, Bobv didn't get it wrong, you simply weren't here to correct it when I wrote down funny stuff about everyone's statistics. He, being the one who chose to copy and paste my list, has taken the responsbility to edit it.

That same goes for everyone else, if you want your info editted, post:

Edit my info:

<list changes>

Secondly, Gamer, you now have an honorary permit to genetically modify squirrels. As you have lower resources, I assume you also require the technology to do so, I will send you a DVD-ROM with the genetic modification software in the mail. Because I live in the Cretacious period, the shipping charge will be rather high, if you can't pay it take out a loan from Shogun, he's loaded.

Thirdly: My plan for world domination!

Firstly, I have already began cloning program to breed an army of Hitlers. Why, you ask? Well, think of the two most evil things on this planet (besides us) Hitler, and Hitler's clone. Stalin pulls a close third, but cloning him is not in my budget, so I've decided to make... 48,000,000 Hitler clones! The resources this will require are tremendous. I will require all your help.

For one thing, I need to begin the cloning plan in the present era because if in traveling through time one of the Hitlers accidentally falls out of the worm-hole around 1945, the results could be disasterous. It's too risky. Therefore, all of the following is required.

Dantrag! I will need to use ocean Facilities to clone the Hitlers, they will be underwater in a very deep spot in the ocean somewhere near New Zealand.

Override! I will be making a lot of things go BOOM, there is a specific fax on your desk. Well, there should be, I don't know. I talked to your secretary, she said it was there.

Minque! Expect oodles and oodles of POOF

BobV! Clones need food! But, I don't want to make them too healthy or they'll turn on me. This is your assignment.

ED! Obviously, with Hitler clones comes totalitarian dictatorships. This is your realm of expertise, therefore I need your secret poilice to act as officers of this army.

Shogun! There will be a space assault, but it won't be very successful without space-suits, because I plan to have many of the clones sky-dive from outer-space, and I'll need some of your nifty ceramic tiles converted into space suits. We'll worry about installing parachutes after the initial deploy.

Lonewolf! One of the first missions of the Hitler clone-army is to make all the emergency hoses in Government facilities shoot fire. I need your consent.

Megil! Cloning will require dangerous high levels of salt mixed with Chlorine and liquidized Carbon Monoxide, and I might add a little mercury in there to make sure they're good and nuts. Consent please!

Gamer! I will be putting my base of Operations in Northern Wyoming! I can always move to some other arbitrary spot like Kansas but what the Hell, long as you own it.

Nack-Thall! I'll need you to move your floating island for me, yeah... you know how it is.

Chumba: The idea of making an army of Hitlers as opposed to something more useful like gorillas with the intellgence of an 18 year old from South Carolina, well, it just doesn't make sense! ...are you okay with that?

Once I have the consent of everyone, and if there is anyone I forgot just tell me and I'll make sure that I need your consent as well, I will tell you in full what my plan is.

*stores permit in safe*

I grant you permission to set up base in Northern Wyoming. However, seeing as how I must make sure my land is used appropriately, I will make yearly checks on your base. No I won't, my squirrels will.

Oh, and my plan is too add Kansas to my territory soon.

The testing phase of para-hitler space suits has begun.










oh yeah, I'm loaded.

My Oligarchy of Utah and Wyoming just formally declared war of Kansas. Progress reports as often as I can in the war against Kansasism.

Hurry up and give me those supplies!

I grant permission of using said contaminants and poisons, just do not violte Dantrag's law's and contaminate his oceans in the process.

Hmmm...........I'll do it, if only because my secret police members are looking for something fresh...some outdoorsy kind of work.

Update: Paratrooping Squirrels are currently being flown to St. Francis, Kansas on a jet travelling at speeds of 1700 MPH.

My army of finnish marines are now under the command of General Rane, the most evil lurker in the whole universe, I managed to enroll him so BEWARE.....




Muhahahahahhahahahahaha©

May I request the assistance of your Finnish Marines in my Kansas invasion until I obtain the machinery to clone my squirrels.

Naturally..I´ll tell General Rane immediately....

wow, thats like a rocket. something that fast should need a permit!!! I will look into this!!!!!

Update on the Civil War between the (former) United Universes: My genetically modified Dinosaurs from a parallel dimension are now an OCCUPYING FORCE in Universe 17. The Dantrag of that Universe betrayed their defenses for me, and as such I have allowed him to use this Universe as a safe-house until the war is over. Dantrag 1, I hope you don't mind bunking with dantrag 17.

roflmaool that would be awkward.

Update: My squirrels have landed in St. Francis and are moving throughout the state of Kansas. Hopefully a shipment of Finnish Marines will arrive soon, though the state will already be captured I'll need them to confuse the citizens with their accents.

hmm like "perkkele"..oh yeah general Rane said he´d join as well....now you can´t loose

Just so all of you know, I'm about to violate a lot of treaties. Having just illegaly obtained a cloning machine, I have decided to make a huge clone army instead of inlisting the help of Finnish Marines. My squirrels have turned their backs on the marines and are currently throwing nuclear waste at them. Many of whom will die of cancer in the years to follow. Also, any extra nuclear waste I have I just dumped in the ocean. I started a space domination program and my Nuclear clone squirrels just landed on the moon.

*opens a rip in the space-time continuam which sucks gamer straight into it*

*gamer finds himself in a nice comfortable looking office in the cretacious period. In front of him, behind a desk, DoomedOne turns around in his chair*

It would not be wise to face the wrath of the King of the Space-Time Continuam. I control the horizontal... and the verticle. Do not attempt to adjust you brain. You have one chance to fix everything you've done, and leave Kansas, or else I will send you to a Universe where you will not enjoy yourself. Well, you won't hate it, but it won't be spectacular, it'll be so-so. Purgatory, I'll send you to Purgatory.

DoomedOne, i will give you as many ninjas that you need to fight back all of the dinosuars in the future.

Permits for making things go BOOM are in your out-tray, or possibly out of your in-tray ~ my Chinese secretary was a little confused on that point and my Mandarin isn't that good.


My secretary is currently undergoing an accelerated English-learning course ~ or will be as soon as I can get all of the scorpions in the pit...

Never, EVER make fun of the pirates. Incidentally my pirates are well versed in a multitude of skills, including arts and crafts, so they will have no trouble in creatinng flags.

Anyway, on to the issue of the 48,000,000 Hitler clones - the idea of having so many clones of the same individual raises all manner of Paradoxes and Strangely Improbable Events, so you can have the go ahead from me on that.

Also, I would like to know what kind of costumes and armaments the hitlers will have? Will any of them, for example, be sea-based? If so, will they be dressed as pirates?

I also have a slight point about the hitler idea - you state that Stalin comes a close third to hitler and a hitler clone, but you have neglected to include the most evil german of all time in your list - Kaiser Wilhelm. He owns Stalin any day of the week. My point is, would it be cost effective to produce a small number of Wilhelm clones as backup? On the off chance that there is some genetic feature that gives the hitler clones some kind of easily exploitable weakness, we need some other forces ready so that we are not completely overwhelmed.

I was thinking about setting up a branch of Wilhelm's for some sea-based infantry attack, sort of like a division of the marines. Wilhelm may be evil but historically he's rather neglected, meaning it's far too productive to emasse an army of them instead of Hitlers, when Hitler is the most historically famous evil guy, and therefore fits better into the paradox.

The hitlers will be dressed as nazis, but you can dress the Wilhelm's like ballerinas for all I care.

did you hear me on me loaing you ninjas Doomed?

Yes, I'll need three, just three. Make sure one is really smart, one really fast and one really strong. They'll all have diffierent personalities and wield different weapons, and wear different colored bandanas.

You could make them radioactive turtles too!!

it's done they sould arive at you base in three seconds fronm when I make my post.


lol.... no.....

Edit Title: Neck'Thall: Master and Commander of the Floating Island, "Laputa"
HQ: Laputa
Army: Laputa's army of flying Robots which shoot Lasers out of their eyes

( Ineed a permit fromover ride and Minque for thiscuz They will make lots ofthins go POOFFF & BOOM.)

Ohh yeah i will need toknow where to move Laputa, as it is currently over the city of Pheonix, Arizona.

HOW DARE YOU??
DARN YOU GAMER!!!
DARN YOU NIRAN!!!!
DARN YOU SQUIRRELS!!!!
*sends samurais to deal with the moon squirrels*

Doomed, you have my permission to make the hoses shoot flames. But only regular flames. No fancy superheated ones aor anyhting like that.

As for me, my Fortress of Solitude and Despair has been constructed in teh newly active volcano off the coast of New Zealand, Mt. Wabbajack.

My Wolfman army consist of 300 basic all round troops, 75 brutes, and 3 commanders. Plans to annex the government of New Zealand are underway

I will be moving several McDonalds restaurants to the area where the clones are (to be) based. They shall be crewed by buxom german women, because I have been pondering the possibilities of half-clones.