Uh, i don't think we need a whole bunch of mini half-clone hitlers running about

Why not, undomesticated-canine-inclined-to-solitude? After all...

MORE MINIONS! Nyah hah hah hah hah!

Because we all already have minions.

Who cares? Never can have too much.

What you guys don't seem to realize, Wolfman and Gamer, is that me, the controller of time, have already been corrupting elections in every single country on the planet since 1234. If you try to conquer a country, you're only replacing the puppet government that followed my instructions (and therefore the coalitions) since it was born.

Well, except New Zealand, some guy in a trench-coat stopped me from doing that one, so have a ball.

DoomedOne, I would like a report on the war with the parallel universe DoomedOnes.

Seeing as I am donating many of my resources to your war, I would like to know how my things are being used, and if they are being used prudently.

Yes, I gave a small report earlier, as I said you will be bunking with the dantrag from Universe 17. Furthermore...

The argument, if you read in my sig, originally broke out over who got be Universe 1. It being our universe that first stumbled upon time-travel (though I sort of cheated, I won't go into that) I declared our Universe Universe 1, and all the following Universes I discovered afterwards I named in order.

They said it wasn't fair eventually, they being Universe 19 and 4. Universe 13 suggested we split it off like Universe 1, Universe A, Universe Alpha, etcetera, but most of the other Universes turned it down saying we would still be Universe 1.

So, that was also about the time I started using the Earths in these parallel universes to test some devious world domination plans the coalition has come up with. In fact, ignore the Universe 1 argument, now that I think about it, it was me invading their universes that probably started the Civil war.

So anyway. I stumbled upon a mathematical flaw of physics in Universe 5, so I just made them go Poof (without their Minque's permission, no less). I reversed the gravity in Universe 2 so Every single star exploded, with some other cool added features like space astronaughts ripping to pieces. In Universe 7, I sent some nukes through time all at once basically destroying every livable planet.

It was at this time many Universes decided it would be better to get the comfy chair in hell instead of suffer, and so sided with me. Dantrag 17 of Universe 17, for instance, betrayed crucial defense information about their universe and allowed me to set up my warpgate under water (the rest of the universe had an anti-warpgate firewall set up). In return, I allowed him to live freely in my universe, meanwhile I just sort of let loose an army of genetically modified dinosaurs from parallel dimensions to wreak havok in the universe.

So that's where we are, the war is nearly over, I just need to betray my new allies and destroy the last of my enemies, and then... I don't know, I'll throw a pizza party.

sweet!

It seems everything is going the way it should be going. It had better dare not going the way it isn't supposed to be going. I'll go now.

I think I´ve gathered almost 2/3 of the world´s spent nuclear power-elements.....my Plutonium-factory is running at optimum capacity......

Muhahahaha©

how are the man made atoms coming along minque they are likewise very radioactive.

Hmm quite well I think....problem is to protect ourselves against the very potent radioactivity..

nice job doomed

I've discovered the Coalition has some competition. Lord Blade of the ES forums intends to conquer this universe. What are we going to do about him?

I will send my assassin, Dantrag 17 to destroy this "Lord Blade". He will not last long.

Remember to stop by for a couple of newly made plutonium-POOOFFF-bombs

*cough ninja assasin training acadamy *cough* *cough*

I shall sick them on this "lord blade" all I need to know is what is his army and were is his base?

I'm sure Dantrag 17 is far more capable than any of your ninjas could hope to be.

I dought it look behind you there is a ninja....

No, that would be food for my genetically altered shark...

are you sure that isn't a ninja making food out of your shark?

Unless your ninja breathes underwater and has a dorsal fin, I'm sure.

I have an idea that will get me an army of guards...

I can place a super huge ton of preservatives and microscopic person-trackers in M&Ms and Peanut M&Ms ( I may as well put it in the new Mega M&Ms) so when eaten, the body will consume so much preservatives that it's body will not detoriate for a long time... oh did I mention I place poison in the M&M's too? So they die, I collect there bodies in my secret underground castle facility which is under construction and de-skin them all so I have over 100 skeletons, and using robotic techonology I will mix the skeletons and robots to create an army of terror robot-skeletons using the highest quality weapons. And every time they kill someone they rip out thier skull and give it to me for my collection MUAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Edit: I could use these to physically protect the forums and our evilness, and even mod some skeletons to be professional computer specialists and hackers muahhahaaha. Weak and/or retarded skeletons will be used as coat-hangers

Oh yeah the whole skeleton thing is that it installs fear onto people knowing they are human remains standing there

Update on my plan to annex the government of New Zealand. Turns out some random dude from an alternate universe where i'd already done it escaped through a space/time rip and warned tehm, so i had to pull out. Still not sure how the guy made them believe his story though.........

Fuzzy Knight: General of the Fuzz
Headquarters: Hidden Fortress of the Fuzz, unknown location in Norway
Army: 500 000 Elite Puppies...

There is really nothing more I want to reveal about The Fuzz...

Can I pet the puppy? *gets hand bit off* .......... good little puppy!! *cries*

Hrm... Being Food Khan, I think I like the M&Ms plan. Several planeloads will be sent to you shortly.

I have not authorized the use of poison in Wurlon's plan.

I mst have a list of poison intended to be used, before poison will be deliveered and its use granted.

These letters are important and secrective, collaboration staff member-view only. Please burn your screen when done reading to prevent spying.
Request form for venomous poisons:

Wurlon: Official Coalition Guardsman
HQ: Coalition Headquarters (Starbucks Coffee Main-Office)
Army: n/a

Time : 9/2/05, 1:02 P.M.


Dear Megil Tel-Zeke,

In our continuing conquest of pure insanity and evil, I request permission to use substances of pure poison and venom to further enchance our plots. However, you being the cruel master of such substances I will need your approval and a document saying it has thus been approved. I also request a list of the available substances that are provided. I will therefore state the predicted usage of the substances for your further analyzing needs.

1. Substances will be placed in M&M brand candy, of all variations and countries, and will not be placed anywhere else. This will enable me to gather a proper fighting force, as I cannot guard the collaboration of evil geniuses alone. None of my robotically enchanced skeletal warriors will harm, hurt or inflict damage to any member of the collaboration unless authorized by the overlords themselves and/or is necessary for the survival of the collaboration.

2. Substances will be stored in my underground castle until proper usage has occured, all instructions will be followed.

3. I will wield the permit necessary by you, if given, at any time necessary.


I request this permit and hope to recieve it, I also request a full list of toxic materials you can authorize me to use, if authorized properly. I have already been approved of the use of the foods which the toxic materials will be placed.


Sincerely,
Wurlon


I also need the approval of Chumba as this will be a terrifying event.


Wurlon: Official Coalition Guardsman
HQ: Coalition Headquarters (Starbucks Coffee Main-Office)
Army: n/a

Time : 9/2/05, 1:16 P.M.


Dear Chumba,

This letter is the request of a permit to perform an utterly terrifying event. I am to create an army of robotically enchanced skeletons to annihilate those who need execution, demanded by the overlords of the collaboration. The process of this event follows below:

1. Exact duplicates of M&M's candy of all variations and countries is produced, with the added ingredients of a fatal poison, microscopic-tracking devices and high doses of preservatives.

2. The duplicates will be sold (this also gives us money) and the organisms (humans) that consume the product will die.

3. The tracking devices will be used to locate the bodies for speedy removal and alterations. Each body will be examined using X-Rays.

4. Once collected the bodies of the strong, good boned humans will be placed in Lab 1 of my secret underground castle facility.

5. All undesirable bodies and skeletons will be placed in Lab B where their purposes will be determined personally by me.

6. Lab A will deskin and remove all of the bodies except the skeletal remains, which will be modified with robotic technology to create superior skeletal soldiers.

7. All undesired skeletons will be altered and fixed to do what I please and or what the collaboration needs besides guards and soldiers.

8. These events will install fear upon the world, covering other evil plans being generated. These events will also create a defensive military capable of world destruction.

9. Leftover human flesh may be used as fishing bait or food for LoneWolf's army.


These plans will insure our collaboration remains at peak security. I await the necessary approval and/or permit.


Sincerely,
Wurlon


I also request decent guards for my facility during the duration of this event.


Wurlon: Official Coalition Guardsman
HQ: Coalition Headquarters (Starbucks Coffee Main-Office)
Army: n/a

Time: 9/2/05, 1:34 P.M.


Dear LoneWolf,

I am sure you will hear of the terrifying even I plan to proceed with, however I have no current guards to provide protection at this vunerable time. Whether I am approved of this event or not, I still request that you breed me 50 of the best fire-retardent wolves to patrol both the collaboration facilities and secrect bases. Make sure they are throughly trained if you are able to provide, as I will hopefully inject them with human DNA to create wolfmen and/or wolfwomen capable of wielding weapons such as firearms and middle age weaponry. Please respond ASAP !


Sincerely,
Wurlon

Silly, silly people ~ the answer to the Lord Blade problem is a simple one. I simply sent him a complimentary pair of mind control Nikes from my... ahem, factory.

He may think he's conquering the world for himself ~ but we know better. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA..ACK... COUGH... SPLUTTER!


Damn', I've been overdoing the evil-maniac laugh™ again. Pass the cough-sweets somebody. Yes, that's right ~ the cough-sweets of DOOM!

My plans are not to defeat lord blade, but rather create an army for myself and/or the protection of the collaboration.

Dear Wurlon,

After reading your request, and seeing that poison is to be used in a highly monitored fashion, I do hereby grant to you 3 Kg of fluoroacetate, which should be more than enough to obtain an army of 30,000 skeletons, possibly more if you hit teens and children. Should you require more fluoroacetate do jsut send mea letter of extention and you will haave more delivered the following day.

This letter is to act as your permit and is to expire on 10/31/05 at 03:54:16.

Sincerely,
Megil Tel'Zeke

UPDATE; 15:42:
Nuclear missile launch site has been succesfully constructed on the moon. Nuclear missile silo has been succesfully constructed on the moon. The missile launch site can strike anywhere on the earth within 25 hours or less upon the entry of coordinates (1 hour to prep this missle, 24 or less to get within range). For those of you who wish to launch any type of missile to any point on the earth but do not have the means to do so for geographical or financial reasons or otherwise, please contatct me and something can be arranged.

Thank you,
ShogunSniper, CEO of Intergalactic Affairs for the Evil Genius Collaboration

From: BobV
To: Coalition of Evil Geniuses

Yo, brothers and sisters in evil. Remember those burgers you all had at lunch? They were ment for the New Zealand government. I planted something in them that'd make me read all their eater's email. Please discard your computers. You'll all recieve a box of fine Belgian chocolate soon to make up for it.

-BobV, Food Khan.

glad I had eel sushi then.

From: BobV
To: Those Whom It May Concern

Requesting to have brains larger than a peanut implanted in a chosen amount of my animated food-creatures.

Corpulently,
BobV- Food Khan

ehrm..what was my rank again.......i see you use nuclear things..WITHOUT MY PERMISSION

BEWARE...

It's only in your department if they make a "POOF" sound... right?

if that was directed to me, i haven't launched any yet. and i have had them before you joined the coalation so i didn't aquire them illegally (by our standards) so im not really using them.

ok...but I´ll launch a big...POOFFF next time you try to use my fuel-elements

Hey, now, sistah from anothah motha. We're all friends here. How about we forget about it and you both recieve some foodstuffs of your choice With just a little hint of pacifiers?

HAHHAHAHAHA

YOU'RE 'POOFFS' ARE WORTHLSS IN SPACE, MINQUE! THERE IS NO NOISE IN SPACE! Your threats are empty ones, don't go beyond your station or you will meet your death.

Don' get excited ma bro.

I'm willing to hold diplomatic talks with however wants a treaty from me. Seeing as how I'm curretly at war with nearly all of you.

I'm willing to declare peace to you. You were at war with anyone?

*mutters something about how he doesn't get told anything and gets regarded as the catering department and more of that sh*t*

I have just tested my first *poof* firework.

OMG! POOFAGE! POOFAGE! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! BATTLE STATIONS! TAKE COVER! WOMEN AND CATERING BRANCH FIRST! ahem.


From: BobV- Food Khan
To: Minque- Mistress of all things POOF

One of our local spies in the OSN area has detected an unlegalized poof practiced by Gammy. I'd slap him.

-BobV, Food Khan.

THERE WILL BE NO PEACE, GAMER!! YOU DECLARED WAR ON THE MOON AND YOU SHALL PAY!!!

*prepares to launch three nuclear missiles at Utah, Wyoming, and Kansas. All of which WILL go POOFF*

*Creates a shield of strange chemicaly inhanced squirrel hide which will lower the nuclear blasts to that of a little *poof*

Oh by the way, take a look at this.

http://42.cabaretvoltaire.com/images/us-perspective.gif

Don't do that. You'll make my forward bases disguised as McDonalds explode. You son of a witch. Thankee, Gammy-o.