This is supposed to be funny, nothing racial or language, nothing offensive or severely inconsiderate! This is a battle of wits...

Here we go!

Priest sees Revan in the distance, and, noticing the ridiculous outfit he has chosen to wear, immediately falls to the ground laughing. The sheer magnitude of the outfit surpasses all silliness, and the Priest's own clown costume pales in comparison. The Priest slowly gets up and draws a peashooter out of his pocket and fires Green Giant Sugar Peas at Revan, knowing his weakness to vegetables...

Anyone can post, whether it be recommendations from the audience or new participants...

(Priestlolz)

It's Royale, lol. I don't really expect this to go anywhere, but we'll see. "You have no taste in clothes, Priest!"

Peas bounce harmlessly of the costume. "I've always eaten carrots and corn, I've recently found that I don't mind steamed brocolli and green beans either." The floor slides away to reveal a bnch of huge speakers beneath them.

"Bullet Proof Skin" blasts from the speakersand Revan has some trouble staying completely upright due to the volume.

"Anybody need a steel chair?"

*Comes stomping in a giant mech with v-fins and white+blue+red colourscheme which completely incidentally are the colours on my country's flag*

Now this looks funny. I guess I'll watch. And don't worry about the Gundam. I found it in a hangar with no one around and these things are surprisingly user-friendly. No keys, security codes or even a manual needed. No wonder they always get....um...borrowed for extended periods by third parties at unscheduled time intervals.

Don't you mean, "Royale with CHEESE"?
Imagine throwing Travolta from the PULP FICTION on your opponent, he would be brutally splattered by the sheer mass of that... thing...

Cheese? No way, man. We need popcorn!

Popcorn, cheap drinks, snacks, fluffy teddybears to sell. Merchandising is the future.

Buy this Revan doll, or this Priest doll. They even say their names if you pull the cord in their back!


What sparked this battle anyway?

Well, I just complimented allshallfade on her descrptive skills, that was how this started....... Priest took this way out of proportion. Anyway, he wanted allshallfade to like him better (a little selfish, isn't he?), so it led to this.

I'd join. But I'm afraid it is dishonorable to attack an opponent who brought a knife to a gunfight, Revan.

In this battle of wits, POS, I'm afraid you've come unarmed.

Jack Cloudy, what can I say about your work that hasn't been said about Afghanistan? It's bombed out and depleted.

Metal Mallet? Why do they call you that? Everytime someone looks at you they get the urge to whack you with one?

What's that? You wanna retaliate? BRING IT ON!!!!

(The preceding was simply humor and farce typed in the spirit of the of this thread, and in no way was meant to insult anyone. Well, not that much anyway.)

(Walks in fully clad in Fire Warrior armor, armed with a pulse rifle. (See the Coffee Shop for a pic of it, somewhere in the mess there))

I'll have a Revan doll. For target practice. MU HA HA- (Cough) Dang the air filter in this thing!

(The battle of wits thing)

Black Hand? You're called that because you don't wash the hand?

(And no, I'm not allowed to make good jokes while in this suit...)

Awww, you stole my thunder Gaius. Though I was going to say it wad disease-riddled instead of just unclean...

And still, no one has taken up my offering of the steel chair. Will I be the one forced to use it?

*A crane with an insanely powerful refrigerator magnet swings past Gaius and Metal Mallet*

Revan tosses a block of C-4 into a pile of his likeness, "I didn't choose what weapon the Priest fought with, and who says your overblown idea of honor is the same as mine!?"

Gaius Maximus, the only man I've met that could give a bottle of aspirin a headache.

I'd make some jokes about the name but I'm trying to keep a 'G' rating for all the kiddies here.

And you wanna know why they call me the black hand? Mallet! Cloudy! Seize the Romanically named one!

(They do so. Black Hand marches forth dramatically and surfully. Then takes off glove revealing a decrepit disease-riddled hand, that is strangley enough, the color black.)

Yes, now you see. (Touches Gaius with it.) Now I suggest getting a cure common disease potion within, oh, (ooks at watch) I'd say fifteen minutes!

*Magnet crane pulls Gaius out of Mallet and Cloudy's grip, since they held on longer than necessary, they go sailing across the battlefield.*

*Curses as his steel chair is lifted away by the magnet*

Haha! I knew it was diseased riddled! Now keep that thing away from me!

*Runs after the Gundam which was also grabbed by the magnetic crane. It was a powerful magnetic crane.*

Give me back my robot!

Oh, and Black Hand. That was something I did not need to see.

And here's your doll, Gaius.

*Standing on a catwalk, Revan hits a switch*

*Five Laser Tag miniguns come out of the floor, a vest appears on everyone's torso*

"Target settings: Indiscriminate."

"....... Oh, crap."

*Ducks for cover as one of the miniguns takes aim at him*

*finds cover*

Argh! Stupid modern technology! It makes things too easy. Battles are meant to be difficult! Of course... modern technology often makes death no so painful. I'd rather be shot dead than die of bloodloss from a severed limb....

*casts a spell*

Haha, Arena-style 100% Sanctuary! Woohoo!

Wait a minute, Arena's sanctuary makes monsters ignore you. Only Morrowind and Oblivion make you untouchable. AAAAHHHH!!!!!

*Dives into the cockpit of the Gundam*

Wew, safe. These things are bulletproof, fortunately.

This is laser tag style, so now we're stuck in a laser tag game.

*Cloudy's gundam falls free from the magent as it is now made of composite plastics instead of Gundanium.*

*A pair of laser tag SMGs appear at Revan's feet, which he picks up* "Nice, now this is finally looking...... up?"

*Mirrors appear on the cieling and walls, minigun lasers reflect off of the mirrors and generally cause chaos*

Is there a point to any of this?

"Oh my Gawd...I forgot, I am alergic to peas! Curse you Jolly Green Giant!"

*rolls around on the floor, choking on imaginary, yet painful, peas. Suddenly, the Priest caughs and changes costumes into something along the lines of the Red Power Ranger First Season.*

"With these powers, I will rule what is left of the Jolly Green Giant factory!"

*He sees Black Hand sitting smugly over in a corner and a giant robot attached to a refrigerator magnet.*

"What in Buddha' name?"

*The robot swings precariously close to a laser than in turn reacts with a floating molecule of boron, causing massive meltdown.*

"Blackhand, eat this!"

*Priest throws a handful of gwits at Blackhand.*

Rane, I personally think that the purpose of this thread is to keep the coffee shop focussed on talking instead of all those wars against Florida.




,,cough, cough. Don't you always wonder how the protagonist manages to survive when his Mobile Suit goes for the nuclear explosion? Especially when the cockpit block has already been slashed open with a lasersword? A nuclear explosion that wipes out solid rock and pretty much smashes the other Mobile Suit that was responsible for the meltdown in the first place? I wonder myself, but it works. Somehow. And just after I'd borrowed it. Go figure."

*shakes head at Revan*

,,Come on. SMG's are for cowards. The only good gun is a multi-tonne heavy one wielded by a giant robot."

*Unsheathes a rapier*
,,Behold, an elegant weapon from a civilized age!"
*rapier is cut in half by a laser beam*
,,Ah........dang. Oh well, the civilization was overrated anyway. Obi-Wan Kenobi didn't look so civilized when he chopped off someone's limb without a care in the world. Those bloodthirsty Jedi."

*runs in circles, hoping not to get hit.*

*Crouches in a relatively covered spot*

"Oh, was that the same age they hung people by the neck instead of shooting them in the head execution-style? Yeah, that's really civilized....."

*Fires both SMGs at Cloudy, after ten seconds the guns overheat. A red dot appears on Revan's chest*

"To quote the old comedy series, 'Oh smeg!'"

*Minigun #3 tags Revan twenty times before he gets behind cover again*

Announcer: [x20] "GGGGO-OO-ODDDD TTTAAAGGG!!!!"

Priest in his Power Ranger suit, ducks the lasers flying everywhere. He yells , "It is like the fourth of JULY IN SPACE out here!!!"

Suddenly, the Priest whips out a Automatic .50 Caliber Machine Gun Sniper with attachable rocket launcher. The Priest obviously had attached the rocket, and with a smile and a click, the rocket was on its way to the giant mech.

The mech that blew up? Ah well.

*gets hit a few times by Revan's SMGs.*

,,Dangit. I need to respond, with guns!"
*Pulls out a classic six-shooter, filled with paint bullets. Also summons a sherrif's hat complete with star at the front and puts it on.*
,,I believe this town is too big for the two of us. Can you outdraw the lightning, sonny?"
*Realizes Revan has already drawn and resumes running, firing over a shoulder.*
,,Nevermind that."

*steps into the thread, looks at the chaos and strike around her and clears her throat*

"What seems to be the problem here, gentlemen?"

A fluffy pink cloud of something akin to cotton candy floats down from the sunsetty sky and hovers just above a conveniently located palm tree. A fog door opens and Ibis Raze steps out onto the palm tree top nesting area .. resplendant in her violet glass armor and with matching bow and quiver full of tail feather arrows. The arrow tips are all poisoned with Neverland sleepy dust.

**Ahem ** This is ever so relaxing after all the warring between NZ and florida .. Tx and NC and Canada, etc. I shall enjoy laying back and watching this melee from above ... pulls wingfuls of cloud out and shapes into a nice recliner chair. Puts up a Pisces alarm alert, just in case.

"Why Zarr, what a nice new Siggy you have there. It is quite beautiful. Did Milanius make it for you by any chance?" ({[Aren't these boys silly? But so entertaining]})

*Pisces alarms goes off*
Pisces jumps on the cloud to be quickly shot in the head by an arrow. But unfortunatly for Ibis it was just a robot made to trigger the alarm and disrupt Ibis's rest with her own device.

Ratzzz, a robotic fish!! I can't even have this one for dinner! Now where is the real one? Looks around askew from falling out of cloud recliner, mistakes the Metal Mallet for Pisces and shoots him in the butt with a Neverland sleepy tailfeather arrow. OOoops.

Priesty charges Mallet when an arrow hits him in the butt. Priest laughs and then ducks for cover, returning fire with his peashooter and .50 Caliber Sniper Rifle/Rocket Launcher.

From deep within the shadows the Master Assassin nocks his Arrow of Silence.

"Sorry Ibis, but I am being paid well to keep this war going, too much profiit for both sides it would seem." he mutters to himself as he lets fly the Mages Bane.

A simple invisibility spell and the Assassin skulks off to his next target....

Minque, in the shape of the Night Mother, sneaks in to keep an eye of things....so that nobody gets hurt or steps out of line.....

She is watching from above, unseen....

*Revan jumps from cover as the minigun turns away and fires at the target area in mid-air*

I always wanted to do that.

*lands and rolls into an open crate, and replys what just happened in slow-mo*

I am so going to put this on YouTube!

Mallet yelps as the arrow pierces his fleshy behind. He looks back to see an arrow protruding.

"Who....would....do... such..........a........thin-" Mallet mutters before collapsing on the ground, fast asleep. He begins to snore loudly as the battle continues.

I thought this was a duel, not an all-out battlefield.

*Runs out of bullets (six-shooter, duh.), so now runs for cover.*

But wait a minute. I'm dressed as a sheriff. Dangit, I don't need bullets!

*The gun is magically refilled.*

Don't..... just, DON'T ask.
>_<


Sooner or later, you'll wish a piece of action. Then, I'll provide semt... eh, firecrackers. Legal ones. No heavy-duty military grade explosive. No one even thinks about it.

I wish. Not nearly as talented with fonts.

...like AWACS?

In any case:
*respawns Automags, ASMD's, Miniguns and BFG's on random points* have fun you 2.

*Miss Grumpy Pants looks around with a raised eyebrow.*

"I made it myself. I was the one who made Milanius' sig. My signature didn't turn out like I wanted to, but that's what I get for converting it to a .gif."

*Zarrexaij looks around once more, then disappears.*

... Settling down back into cloud recliner.

Indeed, when does the dualing part commense again now? (Is it spelt duel or dual? Bit confused on that one.)

Duel - A way of solving a conflict through the agreement of a competitive action; sometimes said action can be violent (ie gun showdown or deathmatch)

Dual - Another way to say double

Well thank you Mallet for clearing that up for me. Sends a bandaide wafting down through the air from the palm tree to cover the booboo caused by shooting Mallet in the butt instead of Pisces.

{{{wait til I find that fish for real after he has caused all this trouble with his scaled robot!}}}

Maybe it´s me....maybe I´ve scared them.....Uhhhh

Yes, your motherly aura of authority musta scared them all into hiding, Minque. Well, good .. now the girls can socialize it up in this thread. hhahaha

Not so fast, ladies, the Priest is here! * does a tuck jump into a triple sauw cow (sp) onto ice that magically appeared in the sky *

I submit to you this:

Which came first, the chicken, or the egg?

And if an egg was placed on a pointed roof, which side would it roll down, assuming natural law and even placement on the vertex?

Why is the Priest bothering with silly conundrums?

Eggs came first, duh, everyone knows that. Unless you are talking about specifically a egg which came from a chicken or an egg which gives birth to a chicken, in which case the answer is stated in the question.

Whichever side it starts rolling down. Also, vertex of roof or egg? What shape is the apex of the roof? What direction did you put the lighter side of the egg? Which way was the wind blowing and how strong?

which came first - the wading bird or the fish? Unimportant really. But which shall last the longest? In whose stomach? Ummm, this is making my hungry .... ohhhh, Pisces ...

I've got a much more important question for you!

Which came the first - the 'Nazgul Bird' (AKA Fell Beast) or the egg? And do the Fell Beasts even lay eggs?

Chaos Theory, Priest, it's inherintly unpredictable, therefore one can't say which side. It's a foolish waste of time to try and calculate the odds, all that is certain is that the egg will roll one way. *This is if there's inslt any other forces than gravity at work*

*Zarrexaij steps back in with two guitar controllers for the PS2*

"I challenge someone to a duel.... a Guitar Hero II duel!"

If only that could really happen... >:D

Also, the answer to the chicken and the egg question is that the Chao came first. Every Discordian knows that.

FOOLS!

You forgot that this was no ordinary Egg! It is a Mega Egg!

Lain (wordcrafting is soo fun) by a bioengineered super Chicked from the future, this Egg contains secrets that would Boggle the mind! And also Scrabble and Pictionary it too!

If this Egg were placed upon a roof, It would EXPLODE!!!

*Mass Chaos ensues, cue maniacle laughter!*

Never did you say it was anything other than an ordinary egg, so it must be, Priest. And exploding if placed on a roof is a little random.

And mass chaos would give the cosmos its revival, it's a good thing......., not for us.