Auridon Khajiit Guard:

"Where words fail, claws flail!"


Davons Watch Argonian Guard: (heard while sneaking)


"I erect the spine of suspicion!"



I LOVE the dialogue in this game! If you have heard any great ones, post them here!

Just today Mira heard a guard at Bleakrock say "If you start trouble, I'll finish it!", or something like that.

I heard an Auridon Altmer Guard say, "Your Face could curdle milk" and one in Daggerfall said, "If you want to lose 10lbs of ugly fat, I'd be happy to chop your head off,"

The guards in this game are hilarious!

"If its a battle of wits you're looking for, you're halfway there."

BWAAHAA!!!!

Ooh that's a good one!

It isn't just the guards!

The language can get pretty colorful - one that keeps coming up in my mind is "By Stendarr's sweaty sword arm!" (spoken by Merric after the final quest).

And of course, the frequent references by the Argonians to the river when speaking of the passage of time - I love this analogy!

Oh, haven't I heard, "By Arkay's Beard" said as a mild oath?

Here's one that Jerric never gets tired of hearing:

"Dog's filth! You anger a powerful enemy."

Ha ha, yeah, that's right I did!

And that is why Jerric always picks a fight - so he can hear that!

That sounds like an Altmer, lol

Mira heard a good one last night but now Khajiit can't remember what it was

BWAAHAA! That is a good one!

In addition to the game's colorful language (typically very lore-friendly, too), I love how the voices are done. After spending time in the Fighter's Guild quest line with Aelif and Colors, and Wrothgar with all the Orsimer, I've come to enjoy the variety of female voices I've come across, as well as their speaking cadences and what not.

The different voices are much more noticeable to me than in Skyrim or Oblivion, where (*gasp*) it sounds like the same two or three voices over and over again (I know, I know, it IS !!).

They worked the hell out of Wonder Woman in Oblivion,

Yeah they did! Also used her for a lounge singer lady in Fallout4. Khajiit thought it was so bad. The voice didn't match the character!

The NPCs are fantastic in this game. I continue to be touched and impressed by them.

And amused. There's a female who hangs out near the Orsinium Wayshrine that I'll have to write down what she says the next time I'm there. She's giving her drunk male friend a hard time, justifiably it seems!

Have you heard the lions arguing amongst themselves in Malobal Tor's crafting station for Lamai? They are hilarious! I'm sure there is a quest there, but I've never seen a quest marker, lol.

Oh my God, yes!! I know what you are talking about! Cracks me up every time I hear that!

Let's see how quick I am with my F12 key the next time I'm there (screenshot) - my conversations are all subtitled ...

K, got it.

Relmerea Goran, who is drinking ale near the wayshrine, every so often shouts up to the drunken Orc Durang on top of the building above her. These are the two lines I've heard her say:

"Watch your step, Durang! You know I'm not catching you if you fall, right?"

"If you throw up on me, I'm going to knock you off of there! Count on it!"


Sometimes it's not what the NPC's say, but the letters they write, that crack me up.

My characters have hirelings to collect mats while they are off adventuring. Mazul patronizes Madam Firilanya, who is the clothing hireling (Alise has her, too, I think). One letter from the Madam:

I heard a joke the other day. What do you call someone who rants about Dwarves who sew jewelry into the fringes of their robes? A Dwemer hemmer gem condemner! (I never said it was a good joke.)

BWAAHAA! I'll have to listen to that next time I'm in Orsinium!

Those messages from the hirelings are really funny!

I think I have taken several screenies of those letters from the hirelings just because they are HILARIOUS!!

My favorite has to be the Khajiit, Pacrooti. He writes the way Khajiiti talk, and I can almost hear his 'voice' in these missives.

If you hang around long enough, poor old Durang will eventually fall off the edge. His friend says something along the lines of "I'm not cleaning that up".

I love the hireling letters too! Every so often one hireling will leave and be replaced by a new one with another story to follow - really fun!

BWAAHAA! I never saw that!

"M'aiq learned to late that ash pits are home to dark elf ancestors. He...erhm... hopes they don't mind the rain."

I've heard this in passing before, but I thought it was funny how Eolan got it frequently from the Nord under the Windhelm bridge while the other characters didn't even get it once when they participated in the event.



Pressure sensitivity on my tablet refuses to work today idk.


Everything out of M'aiq's mouth is always great. Especially the thinly-veiled comments about things like subscriptions and maintenance time.

I heard that while passing nearby the Windhelm stables,

Is it just Khajiit, or is everyone in Windhelm drunk?

It's Konunleikar!

I erect the spine of inebriation ... er, denial.

*Corn-Noon-Licker

That drunken Nord's line is even funnier given the bridge party setting.

Since Jerric has started over on the PC, he is getting Provisioning Hireling notes again from Gavin. That guy is hilarious. I'd spend the point just to get his letters.

Corn-noon-liquor is why Jerric takes forever each time he goes through Windhelm!

"...if you avoid all of life's abrasions, you'll never be polished enough to shine. We must be pretty damned shiny by now." - Lyris Titanborn.

An Argonian line: "My scales are moist with anticipation." I think that was from Trayna.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5Nw2dGGJjg

Not really an NPC per say but Khajiit found this little nugget from woodworking hireling Pacrooti to be hilarious:
"Today Pacrooti heard a voice say 'Khajiit! I need your help!' He turned around and saw a toad. The toad said 'I've been cursed by an evil mage. The curse will be broken if you kiss me. I will turn back into a beautiful maiden.' Pacrooti put the toad in his pocket. He can get a lot of gold for a talking frog."

Pacrooti in general is the best hireling to get mail from.



I miss his correspondence. :/

Bahahaha! So many good ones from Pacrooti! Does Pacrooti go somewhere?

You get new hirelings every so often. Pacrooti is the Khajiit who deals with crown crates though, so you can see him any time you want.

Haa-Rei just unlocked Gavin Gavonne, the provisioner hireling. He's one of our favourites:

"I hope these provisioner components reach you in a timely manner. I got turned about in a strange swamp and lost one boot to the mud. The nearest wayshrine was a short walk, but a very long hop."

Most any Nord: "I need another drink like I need a head in the hole."

Lol. "Head in the hole"

while crouching and trespassing in argonian homes sometimes they say " there is no moisture in what you are doing" i dont get it at all.

In other words, "Not cool, bro!" Lol

BWAAHAA!!!

"I must apologize for the delay. I am traveling with a caravan of entertainers, primarily females. I am not used to girls, or their customs. They roll their eyes a lot, and seem to reply to everything by saying 'what?' I only recently realized they do that to give you the chance to change what you said." - Gavin Gavonne

"The skins of those you love shall fly as my banners!"

~ Molag Bal (sometimes when you close a dark anchor)

I just remembered the Khajiit noble on the Woodhearth docks in Greenshade. He's casually reading a book and when you talk to him he says "This one should buy a boat."

Good lord.

What, you're choking? Too bad you big baby! NOW FINISH THAT PIE!!

Random drunk Nord street-partying in Windhelm (cheerfully): "Who wants to see how hard I can punch?"

One of the random quotes from one of the drunk Nord women that I find funny: "Here's the thing-- I-I forget the thing."

"Little mortal, you amuse me so!"