What Athynae just said!
This Seth makes me shiver....so much darkness and tension makes it even hard to read, but read I do! It's like an obsession!.
I envy you your talent....I only wish I had half of it!
Now I need more of this you know! I do!
Full Version: Memoirs of a Morag Tong Assassin - Solstheim
Wow, achingly beautiful. Pene’s mannerisms make a perfect contrast to Seth’s intensity. I am so glad you’re writing this! 
*Applauds*...
If we all keep telling you how brilliant you are, we'll be having to widen the doorways around here...
...
You really are middlingly average!!... ...
Pffft...
...
Sooo beautiful...I'm totally stunned...Really am...
Really?...*Bows down in worship*...Too good...
I'm not sure whether this was supposed to be funny as well as cool, but it made me laugh... ...
*Applauds heartily*...
Nice one... ...
If we all keep telling you how brilliant you are, we'll be having to widen the doorways around here...
...You really are middlingly average!!...
...Pffft...
...Sooo beautiful...I'm totally stunned...Really am...
QUOTE
I could change roles like changing outfits. They were the skins that could be changed, the birds came to roost on my branches and flew away, but as the tree I remained.
Really?...*Bows down in worship*...Too good...
QUOTE
Even as I slipped into the apparel to show the proper respect to my Guildmates, and carried solely the Black Hands Dagger in hopes of passing it on, with higher hopes that it not be stained with my blood.
I'm not sure whether this was supposed to be funny as well as cool, but it made me laugh...
...*Applauds heartily*...
Nice one...
...
Deleted.
Your little comment at the beginning doesn't require any more of a response than "HOGWASH!!!"
I will read this again at a more reasonable hour but waking up in the middle of the night to not one but two additions, one from you and one from mALX, has me both elated and needing to go back to bed for an hour.
It is another deeply profound addition to your story. If I started quoting it would look like one of Trey's comment posts.
Jeebus Blackie, You really are that good!!!! Keep posting, it never gets old.
I will read this again at a more reasonable hour but waking up in the middle of the night to not one but two additions, one from you and one from mALX, has me both elated and needing to go back to bed for an hour.
It is another deeply profound addition to your story. If I started quoting it would look like one of Trey's comment posts.
Jeebus Blackie, You really are that good!!!! Keep posting, it never gets old.
*
Whew! Somehow it doesn't feel over, not that easily. Seth's tension is felt by the reader tangibly. The chapter ends with the sensation of teetering on a precipice as if the scene ended just before the knife in the dark strikes.
Really funny line, showing Seth’s humor without relieving the tension - a display of just how huge your ability is to manipulate a scene.
*
Your characterization of Rogdul gro-Bularz was perfection from description to dialogue.
…with the gleam in his eyes that gave me pause every time I saw him
…He said putting away his giant battle-ax.
“…intelligence ain't my strong suit, just the Axe..."
…Rogdul said going back to a meal he had apparently been eating.
These lines absolutely bring up the image of an Orc (or Grits’s Nord, Jerric)
Another Awesome Write and chapter !!
*
Whew! Somehow it doesn't feel over, not that easily. Seth's tension is felt by the reader tangibly. The chapter ends with the sensation of teetering on a precipice as if the scene ended just before the knife in the dark strikes.
QUOTE
Former lovers could put such a spring in the step. In the sense that you were more paranoid than you were to begin with.
Really funny line, showing Seth’s humor without relieving the tension - a display of just how huge your ability is to manipulate a scene.
*
Your characterization of Rogdul gro-Bularz was perfection from description to dialogue.
QUOTE
…with the gleam in his eyes that gave me pause every time I saw him
…He said putting away his giant battle-ax.
“…intelligence ain't my strong suit, just the Axe..."
…Rogdul said going back to a meal he had apparently been eating.
These lines absolutely bring up the image of an Orc (or Grits’s Nord, Jerric)
Another Awesome Write and chapter !!
*
Two updates! Lucky me. Good ones too, his musing about how he can change as he changes his clothes is an interesting one given his intention to disappear. How much is it his own wishful thinking and how much will he put on whatever new uniform which awaits in Solstheim and become a different person.
Likewise the musing on begginings and endings in this part. Is this an end, or a begginging, or a continuation? I suppose time will tell.
Wooo! Al get's a mention, it's been a long long time. Pity really.
Nit:
was all too well know too me now - do you mean 'well known to me'?
Likewise the musing on begginings and endings in this part. Is this an end, or a begginging, or a continuation? I suppose time will tell.
QUOTE
Notably, Heik-Auri, the Argonian Blades Assassin.
Wooo! Al get's a mention, it's been a long long time. Pity really.
Nit:
was all too well know too me now - do you mean 'well known to me'?
Late...Eyes...Burning...Urgh... 
...
Slow down man!!...Loving it, but slow down!!... ...
Excellent chapter...Again... ...
So, you really are only human... ...Lookie here...
And is this a word I don't know or a typo?...
I know you were updating from a phone at one point weren't you?... ...
Slow down matey...Is brilliant...We'll wait for greatness... ...
*Applauds*...
Loved the walk through the sanctuary...Brilliant images...
Most excellent...
Nice one!!... ...
...Slow down man!!...Loving it, but slow down!!...
...Excellent chapter...Again...
...So, you really are only human...
...Lookie here...QUOTE
I took a deep breat slowly to take the moment in.
And is this a word I don't know or a typo?...
QUOTE
...and the mind that lays behind it thatto be feared
I know you were updating from a phone at one point weren't you?...
...Slow down matey...Is brilliant...We'll wait for greatness...
...*Applauds*...
Loved the walk through the sanctuary...Brilliant images...
Most excellent...
Nice one!!...
...
Delete.
We'll take 'em however we can get 'em, just keep posting.
Deleted.
QUOTE(Black Hand @ Jan 11 2012, 10:59 PM) 
QUOTE(Athynae @ Jan 11 2012, 07:50 PM)
We'll take 'em however we can get 'em, just keep posting.
If certain individuals don't keep up with their own stories...this one's gonna have to stop sooner than later....
M.
AHA! Treydog, Athynae, Minque ... I think you'll have been served !!!
A couple of nicely reflective chapters here, Black Hand, with my personal favourite part being the musings on the Serpent sign. There was a rather sombre atmosphere to these parts, as was the intention, but even then you managed to intersperse it with some nicely humourous asides that also had the bonus of fitting in quite nicely.
On a slightly unrelated note, how is Pene's name pronounced? Is it 'Peen', 'Penn' or 'Penne', like the pasta?
On a slightly unrelated note, how is Pene's name pronounced? Is it 'Peen', 'Penn' or 'Penne', like the pasta?
Deleted.
Ah, okay.
Probably better than my own idea of 'Penne the Pasta Daedra.'
Probably better than my own idea of 'Penne the Pasta Daedra.'
I am going to, for lack of a better defense, blame it ALL on Trey. He holds the final keyboard and so I am just an innocent bystander that just happens to be throwing in my two cents worth....Just sayin!!
Cop out you say? Why yes, thank you I believe I will....
But there was a post added this past weekend, in case you missed it.
Cop out you say? Why yes, thank you I believe I will....
But there was a post added this past weekend, in case you missed it.
Deleted.
QUOTE(Black Hand @ Jan 12 2012, 03:59 AM)
If certain individuals don't keep up with their own stories...this one's gonna have to stop sooner than later....
M.
*Points to self*...
?...
No McB he's referring to Minque, the writer for Serene, Athynae's Mum. Her writing is ...missed greatly, check it out, good stuff.
Deleted.
The letter of resignation was very professional and well written. As far as the harshness of it, he was only speaking the truth, and fair warning....
And then you have to go and leave us hanging like that, not nice, no not at all....
Thank you for the Author's Note at the bottom, some great information there....
He just has to survive this, he has to....waiting for more, thrumming fingers.
And then you have to go and leave us hanging like that, not nice, no not at all....
Thank you for the Author's Note at the bottom, some great information there....
He just has to survive this, he has to....waiting for more, thrumming fingers.
Deleted.
Deleted.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!! I was sweating wondering what was going to happen, I mean I knew that Seth would be ok, really I did but, well, the way you left off on the last one I read I couldn't help but wonder.
Beautifully done!! They can't help but respect him, he speaks the truth profoundly with few words. He handled Sabine in short order, if nothing else convinced her that he was right in his decision that should have.
The way he "faced" the Ashlander was unexpected and all the better for it. I like his choice of successor.
Now I am going to go cry because I'm sad, for Seth. This position was MADE for him...and now he has chosen to leave it behind because of some deep dark secret he refuses to share.
Beautifully done!! They can't help but respect him, he speaks the truth profoundly with few words. He handled Sabine in short order, if nothing else convinced her that he was right in his decision that should have.
The way he "faced" the Ashlander was unexpected and all the better for it. I like his choice of successor.
Now I am going to go cry because I'm sad, for Seth. This position was MADE for him...and now he has chosen to leave it behind because of some deep dark secret he refuses to share.
Deleted.
With words that will mock everything I said about Oblivion, which bloody one is Sabine Laul?..I know I can picture her, I can see the damned name on the screen, but I can't place where she is...
Bloody excellent story this...So well done...
I love the fact that he was able to concede defeat without having to fight. Very clever...
Likes Pene does I... ...I think she'd have had more success had she not bothered putting the robes back on... ...
Well done...Brilliantly done in fact...*Applauds*...
Nice one!!... ...
Bloody excellent story this...So well done...
I love the fact that he was able to concede defeat without having to fight. Very clever...
Likes Pene does I...
...I think she'd have had more success had she not bothered putting the robes back on... ...Well done...Brilliantly done in fact...*Applauds*...
Nice one!!...
...
Deleted.
QUOTE(McBadgere @ Jan 13 2012, 10:37 PM)
With words that will mock everything I said about Oblivion, which bloody one is Sabine Laul?..I know I can picture her, I can see the damned name on the screen, but I can't place where she is...
In Oblivion she is Rasheda's (owner of the Fire and Steel in Chorrol) supposed lover, but she can also be found in the Fighters Guild basement (she's the smithy) in Chorrol or walking between the two places.
Deleted.
Muahahaaa!!... ...
Cheers mALX...Thought I knew her from somewhere... ...
...Cheers mALX...Thought I knew her from somewhere...
...
QUOTE(Black Hand @ Jan 14 2012, 12:22 AM)
QUOTE
n 13 2012, 08:38 PM' post='137675']In Oblivion she is Rasheda's (owner of the Fire and Steel in Chorrol) supposed lover, but she can also be found in the Fighters Guild basement (she's the smithy) in Chorrol or walking between the two places.
Heh. I stand corrected. It would appear my subconscious let leak a name from a suppressed traumatic memory.
ROFL !!! I'll be reading this weekend, I saw you had posted ahead but didn't have time to read tonight.
I read the last one last night but wanted to read it again cuz I was half asleep, had to wait til the kids were done skating so I could do the 'fetching'.
Reread and ...you really shouldn't do that ya know, it isn't nice to do a bait and switch like that, I thought the secret was going to be revealed...dang, and whew...
Awesome! I do love Pene, girl after my own heart...
Reread and ...you really shouldn't do that ya know, it isn't nice to do a bait and switch like that, I thought the secret was going to be revealed...dang, and whew...
Awesome! I do love Pene, girl after my own heart...
What a lovely situation to find- I "go away" for a week and return to all these posts! Woo Hoo!
As ever, a true rendering of the "good parts" would simply mean reposting the whole thing, so let me see if I can be a BIT more subtle than that...
The entire extended metaphor of Seth with his Birthsign is brilliantly handled. And, as many have done before him, he perhaps takes circumstance for prophecy.
Noted without comment- but with a certain rueful laughter.
Translation- you do not get to be Grandmaster by being shy or backward. And you especially do not get to retire by begging.
The quick way he dealt with Sabine- and yet also seeks to teach her… yes, that is pure Sethyas.
Even more so was his knowledge of Ashlander ways, which allowed him to fill the power vacuum without tearing the Tong apart.
Wow.
Still love that quote.
Simply wonderful throughout. I feel my own scalp beginning to tingle- perhaps I should dash off 1000 words or so and get Athlain up that dratted mountain.
As ever, a true rendering of the "good parts" would simply mean reposting the whole thing, so let me see if I can be a BIT more subtle than that...
QUOTE
It was my nature to uproot, and leave behind. I stalked and kept hidden to the shadows. I threatened lives with my very nature.
The entire extended metaphor of Seth with his Birthsign is brilliantly handled. And, as many have done before him, he perhaps takes circumstance for prophecy.
QUOTE
It didn't mean she wasn't waiting for me in some shadow though. Former lovers could put such a spring in the step. In the sense that you were more paranoid than you were to begin with.
Noted without comment- but with a certain rueful laughter.
QUOTE
Those that waive the option to allow me to retire will face the full scope of my skill.
Translation- you do not get to be Grandmaster by being shy or backward. And you especially do not get to retire by begging.
The quick way he dealt with Sabine- and yet also seeks to teach her… yes, that is pure Sethyas.
Even more so was his knowledge of Ashlander ways, which allowed him to fill the power vacuum without tearing the Tong apart.
QUOTE
"With this you take the mantle. Lead well, and do not try to find me." I said as I left the Morag Tong behind for the last time.
Wow.
QUOTE
After all, the survivors pass down the best techniques.
Still love that quote.
Simply wonderful throughout. I feel my own scalp beginning to tingle- perhaps I should dash off 1000 words or so and get Athlain up that dratted mountain.
*
I apologize, this weekend was too hectic to get a read in and give your writing the focus it deserves. I'm here now.
Therefore, any member at or above the rank of Master may come to Vivec to request the position. Again, I will not forbid ancient rights and traditions. However, if there are those who would insist upon them; I urge them to consider I did not achieve the rank by accident or favoritism, but rather through skill and accomplishment.
Those that waive the option to allow me to retire will face the full scope of my skill.
This was absolutely Awesome, powerful - and looks like trouble is ahead for Seth now! That was technically throwing down a gauntlet to them, he will have to clean out the whole top rung of the Morag Tong now!
The whole letter from Andarys was quoted below, but I snipped it for the sake of not spamming your thread - but had to quote the ending for the chilling shock of it :
Be wary,
Goren Andarys."
I nearly choked out my tea as Pene suddenly spread her wings and cawed loudly, and I caught the faintest sound of rustling cloth, and a blade being unsheathed, behind me.
GAAAAH !! Now we know where Seth was when the Dragon broke ... urk!
I guessed Sabine because the Raven was cawing a warning. (Otherwise I would have been torn between it being Sabine or his own wife, lol).
"Dunsapil is an Ashlander. Humility is a major trait that is required of them. Boasting is shameful, and yet there is a place if it can convince a challenger to stand down. The victor can win with words or sword. Hence, there is no need for Dun-Ahhe to slay me now. Indeed it would be shameful." I explained as the Ashlander sat in a smug silence.
"I think I shall like this Hall." he said quietly.
This whole bout was brilliant !! Seth obviously out-manipulated them, I so would have loved to see this scene drawn out into a whole chapter in itself. As quickly as it ends there wasn't time to savor the moment, it felt prematurely ... ended.
it seemed she wanted to give me an earful rather than a mindful...I wasn't as eager to hear it, so much as wanting to get it over with.
... I lit my hackle-lo pipe, and I poured myself a bit of brandy, I took a puff and a swig before replying.
...as the brandy began to run its course through my veins.
You wrap so many human emotions, thoughts, and actions into your characters that they come to life - this sentence is a prime example - perfect!
The most powerful example of this comes next :
The realization hit me as her breath hit my neck. I glanced at the stain on the wall.
In a flash I stood up. Pene falling off, and officially killing the moment.
The bottle of Cyrodiilic Brandy staining the wall - what a powerful moment of memory you evoked in the reader with that scene, I could see the stain he left there to remind himself that (that argument) would never be over - Huge Write !!!! I am officially addicted.
*
I apologize, this weekend was too hectic to get a read in and give your writing the focus it deserves. I'm here now.
QUOTE
Therefore, any member at or above the rank of Master may come to Vivec to request the position. Again, I will not forbid ancient rights and traditions. However, if there are those who would insist upon them; I urge them to consider I did not achieve the rank by accident or favoritism, but rather through skill and accomplishment.
Those that waive the option to allow me to retire will face the full scope of my skill.
This was absolutely Awesome, powerful - and looks like trouble is ahead for Seth now! That was technically throwing down a gauntlet to them, he will have to clean out the whole top rung of the Morag Tong now!
The whole letter from Andarys was quoted below, but I snipped it for the sake of not spamming your thread - but had to quote the ending for the chilling shock of it :
QUOTE
Be wary,
Goren Andarys."
I nearly choked out my tea as Pene suddenly spread her wings and cawed loudly, and I caught the faintest sound of rustling cloth, and a blade being unsheathed, behind me.
GAAAAH !! Now we know where Seth was when the Dragon broke ... urk!
I guessed Sabine because the Raven was cawing a warning. (Otherwise I would have been torn between it being Sabine or his own wife, lol).
QUOTE
"Dunsapil is an Ashlander. Humility is a major trait that is required of them. Boasting is shameful, and yet there is a place if it can convince a challenger to stand down. The victor can win with words or sword. Hence, there is no need for Dun-Ahhe to slay me now. Indeed it would be shameful." I explained as the Ashlander sat in a smug silence.
"I think I shall like this Hall." he said quietly.
This whole bout was brilliant !! Seth obviously out-manipulated them, I so would have loved to see this scene drawn out into a whole chapter in itself. As quickly as it ends there wasn't time to savor the moment, it felt prematurely ... ended.
QUOTE
it seemed she wanted to give me an earful rather than a mindful...I wasn't as eager to hear it, so much as wanting to get it over with.
... I lit my hackle-lo pipe, and I poured myself a bit of brandy, I took a puff and a swig before replying.
...as the brandy began to run its course through my veins.
You wrap so many human emotions, thoughts, and actions into your characters that they come to life - this sentence is a prime example - perfect!
The most powerful example of this comes next :
QUOTE
The realization hit me as her breath hit my neck. I glanced at the stain on the wall.
In a flash I stood up. Pene falling off, and officially killing the moment.
The bottle of Cyrodiilic Brandy staining the wall - what a powerful moment of memory you evoked in the reader with that scene, I could see the stain he left there to remind himself that (that argument) would never be over - Huge Write !!!! I am officially addicted.
*
Holy CRAP! HOW could this be? I missed several posts....gahhhhh, I'm getting old and senile...that must be it! So busy moving the thread, and not checking it out? I should be ashamed of myself!
"So Seth...you won't tell, right? ok it's entirely up to you"
Brilliant ending of the first chapter....me like very much!
P.S I know who you were referring to....
"So Seth...you won't tell, right? ok it's entirely up to you"
Brilliant ending of the first chapter....me like very much!
P.S I know who you were referring to....
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.