Prologue

Five hundred years after the Oblivion Crisis...

Many years ago, the Champion of Cyrodiil stopped the daedra from invading. The hordes of infernal dremora and vicious daedroth. When he left Mankar Camaron's Paradise, people viewed him as a hero. However, he had become much darker.

He then went to the Shivering Isles in search of power. When he returned, any traces of humanity had left him. In his demented rage, he slaughtered the Blades, and began a crusade of crimes. However, an Argonian assassin stopped him.

After that, the Argonian and his Khajiiti companion came to the ruins of Morrowind to regain their thoughts. For after they killed the Champion, their long-lost Dunmeri friend arrived in a new-found body of a lich. They killed him and ever sense held a deep sense of remorse.

For some time they stayed in the blackened remnants of the Dunmeri homeland, but left. The despair that filled their hearts from seeing the remains of where they met their friend caused them to leave. They were never seen again.

There is rumor in the streets of the Imperial City of a daedric cult with the power to weaken, or even destroy the seal from our world and theirs. The Champion of Cyrodiil rose up before, I must rise up now. After the Mede empire fell, a daedra-worshipper conquered Tamriel.

When I was a squire, they taught me the skills of swordplay, ettiquette, archery, and restoration. Now I guess I'll have to put my skills to the test. I must walk in his footsteps, but I must remember the teachings of the Dunmer, the Argonian, and the Khajiit.

The time is near, I must stop time from repeating itself...

Yeah! It's a sequel !!!!!!! And set in Cyrodiil? WOOOOOOT !!!

That was actually a fairly good prolouge, and I want to see more. I'm also DELIGHTED (!!!) to see how you said the Mede empire fell. I don't think words can express my utter hatred for that turn of events in the..."novel". And the

I have one particular nit though



I know what you were trying to get at, but crusade should not be used in that context. A crusade implies a very positive thing, not negative. It also implies a religious reason (the European crusades) , or a desire to combat abuse (Batman, and his crusade on crime).

I think you could find a more correct word.

Chapter One: A Harbinger

I walked blissfully down the streets of the Imperial City. At least so it appeared; in my mind I pondered what would happen if the rumors were true and Emperor Kristopher Traven, the descendent of an Arch Mage hunted the non-believers down and prosecuted us?

I walked out of the gates as night began to fall. My heavy armor made loud noises as I walked, but my concern was minimal. An arrow swooshed right past me. With haste, I tore my sword out of the scabbard and gripped my shield. "Show yourself, Thug," I cried out. Rage dripped in my voice.

Out of the darkness appeared a dremora archer who hissed, "Courtesy of Lord Dagon." Another arrow launched, but this one into my shield. With a burst of bravery and the sense that the Nine were with me, I charged at him.

My blade was in his chest and he fell to his knees. The dremora barely managed to whisper, "The anguish...I..will endure...will be beyond...imagination." Then the life left his body. Perceptively, I noticed in his knapsack he had a note. It was finely written in daedric.

"Kynmarcher Syrtin,

Kill Sir Kalian Broodikus. If he succeeds in his goal, then the Shades of Oblivion will not succeed in breaking the seal. His ancestor was one of the best swordsman to walk Tamriel and definitely one of the most powerful mortal mages to ever live. If he inherits any of the Knight's arcane or physical ability, then we'll need all the luck on Nirn to stand a chance.

Sincerely,

Valkynaz Proditor."

I wondered who they spoke of. And Broodikus? My name is Sir Kalian Vyran. My ancestor? I came from a family of mages. To say the least, my life just got a whole lot more interesting...

A cliffhanger! Awesome Write Zalphon!

Thanks, Malx. Did you like the red text to emulate the letter being written in blood?

I think I may have a new antagonist. He is inspired by the nightmare of a dear friend of mine, her nickname is, "Nikaya." I'd like to than her.

Chapter Two: The Assassin and the Wizard

When I finally opened my eyes, an argonian held a shortsword to my throat. "Awaken," he hissed. "We have heard of your journey, Sir Kalian Broodikus. We fought with and against your ancestor, Zalphon Broodikus. You won't stop the Crisis alone, we are here to help as we did centuries ago."

"What?" I asked as he pulled the sword back. "Who is Zalphon Broodikus? Why does everyone keep calling me Broodikus? And why is my 'ancestor' so special? The Vyran family are mages."

"So many questions, so few time," the Argonian sighed. "Let us explain. I am Quick-Strike, this is J'skooma. Zalphon was a knight long ago who helped stop the Oblivion Crisis. After he purchased an amulet from a mysterious wizard, well he changed."

"It fed on his desire to protect, and gave him strength, clarity of mind, agility, and everything else he'd need. It also gave him a desire to conquer Mathoc with an army of undead after he became a lich," he continued. "We killed him and weren't heard from again, now to you. We were there when you were born, your mother had just died and we had to get you to safety. The Vyrans would take care of you, and they did just that."

"Why me?" I asked. "Why am I so special?"

"The Prophecy that was written about your ancestor came true," J'skooma said. "Then so did the one about cheese." The khajiit laughed, the others just stared at him.

"As my companion said," Quick-Strike grumbled. "You are in the prophecy, Kalian. We have read many prophecies, and they all come true."

"Joy," I growled.

"Two old beast-people were to help me? I wondered how much skooma they had done," I thought...

I like that you are using the first person POV. This story is neat so far, in that your lead char seems interesting and the story is rich with connective 'Zalphon Lore.'

Zalphon will always have a firm foothold. And we may see him in this or he may be just mentioned. The Arch-Lich (Zalphon got his power from stealing a shard of Mannimarco's) Zalphon may be just a story used to scare small children, or he may be a creature of the night that'll tear you apart in a moment's notice.

Chapter Three: The Gateway

We walked for hours. Our feet ached, fatigue filled our muscles, until we saw it. A giant, red, ovular portal surrounded by black stone. The guards didn't see us, so we were able to eevesdrop. There were two dremora, one at each side of the gate. In front of them was a mad dremora, I'm guessing a commanding officer. "Valkynaz Proditor had me skinned for Syrtin's failure. To say the very least, it was extremely agonizing. If you see Kalian, kill him," the commanding officer barked. "We can't allow them to interfere with Zalphon's plan."

They nodded and drew their longswords. The commander entered the portal and Quick-Strike whispered, "J'skooma, will you do the honors."

The Khajiit said, "Cheese will, but I hate cheese so I'll steal the job from cheese. Haha, cheese is a loser." Then he muttered something and a bolt of white-hot flame emitted from his finger-tips into one of the guards, after a bolt of electricity jumped to the other.

I asked, "How did you do that?"

"Anu created us with a higher destiny than just death. J'skooma is well over one-thousand years old and has been tutored by the forgotten god, Xarxes himself and has read Oghma Infinium several times. I am five centuries old and was trained by the Dark Brotherhood long ago, I was also trained by the High Clerics of Boethia and Mephala," Quick-Strike explained. "We are not mere mortals. Our fates were written in the stars when we were born."

With a nod, I jogged over to the Gateway. I looked back and thought, "If I don't come back, I've had a good life." Then I walked in...

Chapter Four: Oblivion

When I entered the portal, I was on top of a mountain. The mountain was gray and the plants were dead. Undead and Daedra walked past one another blissfully, as if they were allies. The only living plants were Nightshade, Harrada, and Bloodgrass. All the others were dead and wilting. "Zalphon and I have unfinished business," the Argonian stated as he ran down the mountain. Behind him followed J'skooma.

As I walked, I felt a sense of despair. The skeletons and the zombies caused me no harm, but held their weapons drawn. The Daedra scowled. What was this place? Death filled it. Then I walked up to a bridge made out of obsidian and asked, "May I pass?" to the Dremora-Guard.

"You can't pass, Dunmer," The Dremora snarled. "Not unless Zalphon wills it so." Instantly, the Dremora fell to the ground screaming in anguish. I passed and looked up at the sky. The ever-lasting, sickly-gray sky. When I brought my head down, I saw it. A collosal, ebony keep.

The two guards barked, "The Dark Lord says only his chosen may enter."

"I'm his descendent," I responded. Suddenly they kneeled and begged forgiveness. I told them that none was needed as I entered the Ebony Keep.

"Welcome," a raspy voice whispered. "Your friends destroyed the Obsidian Tower, but the Ebony Keep is stronger. Also, welcome to The Shadow of Life, Oblivion. My guards will kill you on sight, know that now. If you do survive my finest which is comprised of only Valkynaz, then I'll be truly impressed."

I whispered in response, "I'll kill you, whoever you are."

"I am Zalphon, better known as the Knight and your ancestor," he politely replied. "This is just the beginning. The Nine and the Daedric Princes will bow before me. I have already killed Peryite for his ignorance and stolen his power."

"I'll never let you control the Nine. I'll die before they bow to a lich," I screamed back.

"My lich-body is gone, I have all the benefits, but none of the ill-effects. I'm ageless, can control undead with mere thoughts, and am reborn at my phylactery should I die," he cackled. "I advise that when you do meet me that you're ready to die and be reborn as one of my soldiers."

"We shall see," I thought. "We shall see..."

How can you even kill a Daedra Prince? I mean killing them would only result in vanishment, not outright destroy them. Oh, and I got one issue though.

The chapters are short and I feel it's sometimes rushed. Zalphon actually revealed his whole plans to his descendant, who defy him in every way. How's about you edit that part, eh?

And his phylactery.. Now that Kallian knows how Zalphon way of ressurecting himself, he obviously knows how to destroy it, right?

Sorry for the rant, Zalph. Now that that's over with, I want to see more. Plot twistings, interesting characters.. I'll have some more please!

How do you destroy a daedric prince? The same way the Champion of Cyrodiil destroyed Umbaril the Unfeathered. And how do we know this powerful Dunmer (who has his own realm of Oblivion) is telling the truth. Also he never said how he'd do it.

Phylacteries are what all liches have, but they keep it well-hidden. He wouldn't have it in the wide-open for all to gaze at. He'd have it inside a maze filled with traps, monsters, and daedra.

And I'm glad to see the rant, now that Malx is...well I don't know and Acadian only comes by every once in a while.

Zalph, Umaril ain't no Daedric Prince. He's a half mer and a Half Daedra. The Unfeathered alliance with Meridia granted him immortality.

All of it is here:

http://uesp.net/wiki/Oblivion:Umaril_the_U...thered_(person)

That aside, I'm eagerly waiting for the next update!

Well in that case, by banishing them from Nirn and leaving them too weak to return.

Chapter Five: Innate Power

I awoke from dead-sleep. Was it all a dream? I must've passed out and Quick-Strike carried me here. It was so vivid and real. Quick-Strike was asleep next to me in a bed and to the left of me was J'skooma. My legs stood up and I walked outside and sat. We were in a tavern of some sort. Out the window it was almost pitch-black.

I walked out of the room and saw the innkeeper talking to two dremora. "Yes, they're asleep now," the Innkeeper said. "Wait until they leave and my master, Lord Varen will send two of my fellow cultists to assist."

The larger and more muscular dremora grunted, "You better not fail us, Hannibal."

"I am a Shade of Oblivion, failure is not an option," the pale, imperial replied.

"We shall see, if you do fail then it'll be your head on the plate of Valkynaz Proditor," the shorter one hissed. "If everything goes as planned, your cult will finally break the seal."

I rushed back to my room and donned my armor as fast as I could. I ripped out my from the sheathe. "Is that so, Dremora?" I called out. "Obviously you didn't expect me to arrive now did you?"

Quick-Strike and J'skooma soon came. They were awake by my shout I guess. The two dremora rushed up the stairs. My blade lunged at the smaller one's chest and it missed. "The seal must be broken," the taller one screamed. His mighty greatsword was slashed at me, bisecting the smaller dremora, while fortunately missing me.

With almost divine strength, I beheaded the tall dremora. It flew cleanly and the innkeeper hissed, "This isn't over." With a quick-spell the innkeeper was surrounded in black flame and dissapeared.

"I see why this is called the Inn of Ill Omen," Quick-Strike sarcastically remarked.

The Khajiit lifted the daedric corpse and banished it. "We can't let them succeed in breaking the seal," I explained. "If we do, then all is lost. For I have a feeling whatever daedric prince is behind this will destroy Tamriel."

"Over my dead body," the Khajiit howled. "Then again, I have thought it'd be funner on the other side where all the dead rocks and plants are."

"Why did I strike it so powerfully?" I questioned.

"Your very blood is divine," the Argonian stated. "Your ancestor was one of the best mortal swordsman to ever live and his skill with magic surpassed even Divayth Fyr's. Anu created your ancestor, J'skooma, and me with a greater purpose."

"But why me?"

"That is something only Anu knows."

"Who is Anu?"

"You'll learn," Quick-Strike nodded. "One day... One day... That day is not today, for we have more important things than this..."

"Yes, Quick-Strike," I politely replied. I had to stop this from happening. If I didn't then well, Tamriel would fall to the Daedric Prince that is doing this...

Plenty of action here! Still weaving Zalphon and your old chars in and around the story.

Speaking just for me, I don't get bogged by lore. I don't want to see laser sabres or gunpowder, but you are the author and if you want to tweak lore stuff some, that is fine by me. Course I don't know any better with most of the MW lore anyway (eg: Divath Fyr).

Keep this one going!

Not a bad idea! Yeah, not a bad idea at all. Where do you even come up with this ideas? Do you have like, access to the Apocrypha or something?

But.

I'm not really sure about Anu. I mean, I think that him and Padomay doesn't roll like that, y'know? But, hey it's only my opinion. I could be wrong.

And I think you overused the word Dremora in the fight scene in the Inn. How's about the word 'demonic creature' or 'daedric soldier'?

Noted Uriena.

And don't worry Acadian. You don't remember the arguements Danielkay and I argued about over at Bethsoft, heh.

My apologies readers, I am currently experiencing "Writer's Block" and will require some time to think up more material. My sincerest apologies...

No worries, been there, done that.

There is no doubt that you will be back, and we'll be patient.

Chapter Six: The Necromancer

When we left after morning came, we left with haste. The sun was at its highest point when we saw a traveller on the ground. Quick-Strike warned cryptically, "You should be careful." However, I had sworn an oath when I became a knight to protect the weak.

When I got over, the traveller begged, "Please, don't kill me. You can have all of my septims, just don't hurt me." Her voice was soft and scared.

"Miss, I have no desire to cause you harm," I replied as I gave her my hand. She gripped it and lifted herself up. The young, breton girl wore a black skirt, a black blouse. Her eyes were sky-blue and her skin was very light.

"I-I-I am a necromancer," she wimpered. "Please, don't kill me." I had never seen Quick-Strike move as fast as he did. The Argonian darted over to her and lifted the Breton off the ground by the throat.

"Prepare to die, Necromancer," He scowled.

"Release her," I commanded.

With a sigh, he did. "She deserves to die," he hissed. "She dominates those who can't defend themselves."

I glared at him and asked the girl, "What is your name?"

"Evangeline M--Mortalitis," she stuttered. "Master-Argonian, I am a very weak necromancer. My mentor was a lich named Z-Zalphon. He left me though, due to something involving the daedra."

"Zalphon?" Quick-Strike gasped. "Zalphon Broodikus?"

"Y-Yes," Evangeline managed to say. "He taught me how to perform some basic spells, such as summoning skeletons and lesser zombies and bonewalkers. Zalphon also gave me this book, he said he wouldn't need it anymore."

The Breton pulled out a black-leather bound book which on the cover had the words "Nex Somes," written on it in blood.

"The Spellbook of Zalphon," I gasped. "The spells in there must be powerful enough to turn armies of well-trained soldiers into skeletal warriors."

"I haven't been able to read any yet," she gulped. "They're extremely complex."

J'skooma growled, "Bad-magic is bad magic. J'skooma no like this book."

Quick-Strike threatened, "I guess you're with us now, Evangeline. If you harm a hair on Kalian or J'skooma's heads, I'll break every bone in your body and force-feed you your liver."

The Necromancer nodded and we began walking once again.

Good decision, Kalian!!!!

WooHoo! Evangeline's here! Just what your story needs. A girl - I'm partial to them after all.

The last time you wrote a story with Evangeline in it, I got quite into it. Don't drop this one.

This is ret-conned Evangeline, heh.

Chapter Seven: The Tormented

A knight in steel-armor walked past us. High in the ebon-sky was the silvery moon and the hundreds of stars. He accidently bumped me. "Excuse me," he said sadly. "I wasn't paying attention."

"Stop at once," Evangeline commanded. "Vampire, remove your helm." The nervous knight removed his steel helmet to reveal long, black hair over his snow-white skin. He had a full face that was thinner than most with light-red eyes.

"Madam," he asked. "Are you going to harm me? I am merely a travelling Knight of the Nine."

"Liar," Quick-Strike scowled. "They don't allow the living dead in their ranks and they were disbanded in the two-hundred thirty-second year of the fourth era.."

"Well, I was four-hundred and fifty years ago. My name is Adam Draconis, I am a vampire yes, but I hate it so dearly," he replied. "Long ago, I had a wife, two wonderful children, a family. Now I am a wretched night-walker."

"A Knight of the Nine?" I asked. "They're an ancient order of knights who I studied as a boy, can I please learn from you?"

"If you prove the goodness in your heart," Adam nodded. "The Knights taught me many spells in restoration and many spells in all the schools and how to fight."

"Quick-Strike," I said aside to him. "We could use an additional hand. He seems goodly enough."

"I won't kill you, Vampire," Quick-Strike hissed. "But you must be willing to take a solemn oath."

"Yes, of course," Adam smiled. "I would be honored, Argonian."

"Quick-Strike," he scowled. "I am the Grandmaster Quick-Strike of--"

"The Nine's Shadows. Is it really you? I would be honored," the Imperial Vampire kneeled. "Sir, if I may be of any assistance, do let me know."

"Swear to me, that you'll never harm a hair on my J'skooma or Kalian's heads and you may travel with us," Quick-Strike demanded.

The Vampire swore the Oath. "Milord, the sun is beginning to rise, may we reach shelter in a nearby cave?"

"N--" Quick-Strike tried to say.

"Yes," I interrupted as I began to walk towards a nearby cave. I was growing to be quite the leader. I had an Argonian Assassin, a Khajiiti Mage, a Breton Necromancer, and now an Imperial-Vampire Knight in my service. Now the real question was, would my companion be enough to stop the Crisis?

What a fascinatingly motley band! Each a full blown story in their own right. It almost seems like a wonderful party of the type one might build in Baldur's Gate II, lol. Some brilliant imagination here, and fun to read.

Very powerful last paragraph.

Nice job, Zalphon!

Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance II?

Sir Kalian Broodikus - A young-adult Dunmeri Knight who is doing this for the good of Tamriel. He is humble and noble. The question about Kalian is will his trustingness and naiveness get him killed or bring him much fortune?

Grandmaster Quick-Strike - An ancient Argonian Assassin who has defended Tamriel for centuries and will only stop when he is dead. Will the argonian finally forgive himself for what he did half a millenia ago?

Arch-Mage J'skooma - An ancient Khajiit Mage who is a close companion of Quick-Strike. They've fought together for generations. Will the mad-khajiit ever recover his sanity?

Evangeline Mortalitis - A young Breton Necromancer who has a stutter. She is very calm and gentle, however, she'll kill for her friends (and her studies). Will she meet her former mentor?

Sir Adam Draconis - An ancient vampire who once served the Knights of the Nine. After he became a vampire, he went off in search to continue his duties. He prays to the Nine daily and looks at a small portrait of his family when need-be. Will his vampiric nature consume him?

And I'm glad you liked the last paragraph.

Chapter Eight: My Followers

When I awoke, I heard Adam and Evangeline arguing. "You're a bloody vampire, and you claim to serve the Nine? Arkay, the God of Life and Death is one of the Nine," she hissed. "Listen, Vampire, I will decapitate you if you hurt that Dunmer. I...well...it's unimportant."

"You have feelings for Kalian?" He asked. "I respect the man for his wisdom and lack of prejudice. Evangeline, he won't want you, he's too restless."

I decided to continue eavesdropping. Evangeline rebuttled, "Yes, but he's so sweet, I'm sure I can tame his wild heart."

"Unlikely," he shook his head. "He doesn't have any feelings for you, he doesn't even trust you. You're a necromancer, nor do I blame him."

The Breton ran off, I heard her sobs. Then I got up and donned my armor. It was dusk. "Adam," I called. "What was that about?"

"Sir, she insulted me for being a vampire and then threatened my life. She also claims to have feelings for you, don't trust the kwama-scum," he explained. "I don't due to her choice of study."

"Kalian," Quick-Strike stated. "He's right."

"I know," I sighed. "She's a necromancer, but I feel some good in her heart."

The Argonian lifted his palm to his face and dragged it down. "I'll be watching," he growled as he sprinted into the shadows. J'skooma was nowhere to be found either. These are my followers, yet I have a feeling by the end of my journey Evangeline or Adam will be dead, due to the other...

Ah, yes. Fights between companions before their journey always makes the story more fascinating.

Great job, Zalph.

Thanks for the summary of your party make up. Nice and concise review.

Nice interaction between Adam and Evangeline.

Kalian does indeed seem to be a leader. You are doing a good job with him as a strong character.

Zalphon, this is a very cool and sophisticated description. It really stands out. Wow!

Nice job!

Funny isn't it? A Vampire and a Necromancer hate each other. One is a member of the living dead, one controls lesser living dead. Kind of ironic if you think about it. They both serve a similar cause, too.

Kalian is the descendent of "The Knight." Lord Nerevar Indoril shared a similar skill. They were both great leaders. "The Knight" revered Moon-and-Star (Nerevar).

My goal for Kalian is to make him appear as a strong hero, but with a compassionate side, too. He cares about all of his followers, Quick-Strike, J'skooma, Evangeline, and Adam. He'd die for any of them for he has a feeling that each of them has the right goals at heart...

Chapter Nine: The Vampire's Tale

The stars were high in the sky. They were shining, silver lights in the middle of the black sky. Adam said to me as we walked, "I have a secret I am obligated to tell you."

"What is it?" I asked. "You're a Knight of the Nine, you are a divine guardian."

As we walked, our armor clanked. The dirt road was dark in the night and we could hear a wolf howl. "I did a horrible act, long ago," he barely managed to say. "I did something you'll hate me for."

"I doubt that's possible, Sir-Knight."

His voice was a shameful tone as his head hung low. "I followed a man named, "Zalphon" when he slew the Knights of the Nine. He spoke of a 'purification' of the Knights of the Nine. He told me they were corrupted and we were the only ones who weren't."

"What?" I shouted. "You're the reason the Knights of the Nine are a forgotten Order?"

"Yes," he said glumly. "After we finished the 'purification' he tried to kill me with a spell, however somehow I survived. I think the Nine were watching over me as he cast a spell that engulfed my body in a shadowy maw."

"When I awoke," he continued. "I was a vampire. The one who turned me was an ancient wizard. He left shortly after. I have fed for over four-hundred years on the blood of marauders and bandits. I do not like my mortal form, but it has granted me the ability to atone for much longer."

Quick-Strike appeared out of the shadows and held the vampire above ground by the throat. His scaley fingers wrapped tightly around Adam's throat. "You killed the Knights of the Nine," he scowled. "You betrayed them. Sir Vladamir, Sir Kristopher, Lady Sylvar, Sir Krall, Sir Bearspirit, all dead by your hand. You killed all the knights, except one."

"There aren't any Knight of the Nine," Adam barked. "I watched Zalphon kill them."

"The most powerful Knight of the Nine isn't dead," he said as he pointed at me. "You must teach him the 'Old Code' and the 'Old Religion'. Believe it or not, Kalian. The Nine are a dead religion. Ever noticed how the Temple of the One is devoted to the Pantheon of the Daedra, and each city has a temple dedicated to a specific one."

"Quick-Strike, you do kno--," he managed to say.

"Yes, he will take the trials," Quick-Strike replied. "When he succeeds, he will find "The Knight's" ancient artifacts and use them to kill Zalphon. He is 'The Knight', but he must be slain..."

"I am ready," I stated. "I will destroy him to save Nirn..."

Ah, more answers. And more flesh added to Kalin's quest.

I hope Q/S takes Kalin's cue and backs off on Adam a little. I hate to think about a 400 year old vampiric Knight of the Nine getting pissed off.

It has been a looonng time since I once did KOTN. I will be interested to see if you draw many parallels from the game. I'm not suggesting you do so necessarily, just curious to see where you go.

Nicely done, Zalphon.

Quick-Strike is a over five-hundred years old. And he has his own Order of the Nine's Assassins. Adam can try, but I don't think he'd win.

Chapter Ten: The Old Code

We rested in a nearby mine. It was abandoned, most likely due to the depletion of gold ore. When I awoke, Adam stood over me with his blade drawn. "Is it time?" I barely managed to grumble. "I'm famished."

"Yes, why yes it is," he hissed. "Zalphon grows more powerful with each passing day. The Old Code will begin now, Child of the Old Religion."

I nodded and donned my armor. It was slow, but I was tired. "What now?" I questioned. "Do we spar?"

"Indeed." Instantly, the vampire turned into a blur. The next second I was disarmed, after that I was on the ground with his blade pointed at my throat. His speed and strength wasn't believable.

"How?" I asked. "How did you do that?"

"I am a Knight of the Nine. My power is vast, but it is granted by my patrons. If I were to betray them, then I would still be physically powerful, but my spells that I rely on wouldn't be able to be cast," he explained. "After the Champion was felled. Long after, Talos took a mortal form of 'Wulf' and taught us how to channel divinity and how to make our prayers be able to heal and even burn our foes in holy flame."

"Wulf? The Nerevarine met that man in Vvardenfell. He asked him to carry a coin to Red Mountain," I smiled. "Was it truly Talos?"

"I know it was," he smiled. "I can tell you that, because he radiated with power. As if he was a Fountain of Endless Arcane Might. He taught us these, so that we could survive the War of Necromancy."

"When Mannimarco assaulted the Imperial City and destroyed the Arcane University in the fourth era, three-hundred, twenty-first year?"

"He knew we would fall without his help, so he taught us what was "The Knight's Code," and is now, "The Old Code." After Zalphon burned the archives of the Knights of the Nine, we lost all reference to it," Adam explained. "I am the last man who remembers that far back. Our spells are battle-prayers to the Nine."

"Interesting," I nodded. "When do we begin our training and not the history lesson?"

"When you learn," he scowled. "That you must remember history, or you'll be damned to repeat it..."

Interesting background and creatively presented during an 'action scene'.

I can just hear mALX saying "Ooh Zalphon, I loved this! Awesome!" - - and she'd be right.

I'm chuckling here. 'Old Religion'. I just couldn't help but think of such things as the Zakarumites and the Blade of the Old Religion (Gidbinn). Did some of your thinking here come from Diablo II? I know that we share a fondness for that game.

May I offer a suggestion on how you used a speech tag in the above quote? I would have done this: "When you learn," he scowled, "that you must remember history, or you'll be damned to repeat it. . . ." The differences are tiny: 1. comma after scowled since you are continuing the dialogue sentence. 2. decapitalize 'that' since it is a continuation of the dialogue sentence. 3. Four dots at the end instead of three indicating not only the trail off, but the end of sentence as well. 4. Spreading out the four dots - this is purely optional and done only because I think it looks better.

Yes, Acadian. Diablo 2 did have some of my thoughts

However, the Old Code is based off of paladins. Well the prayer-part is. Paladins of the Dungeons & Dragons Universi.

Chapter Eleven: The Holy Grounds

For weeks we studied in the caverns about the Nine. Evangeline enjoyed the time to read her spellbook, while Quick-Strike kept a close watch. J'skooma had many conversations with the mine about whether rat-milk cheese or minotaur steak tasted worse.

Adam questioned, "Who is the Aedric God of Air?"

"Kynareth," I responded. "Her domain is also over the natural woodlands as well."

"What is Stendarr's domain?" He barked.

"Mercy. Although, he is also very just."

"It is time," the Vampire commanded. "Draw your blade and prepare for the first challenge."

"Yes, what must I do?"

The Ancient Knight said prayers and a burst of light filled the mine. The next second, I was unconscious. After I awoke, in a strange place. A Castle. Standing in front of me was Adam who smiled, "These are the Holy Grounds. Every Knight must pass the tests of the clerics and finally kill the daedra that hides in the shadows."

"What?" I asked. "What kind of tests?"

"The Cleric of Talos is fond of riddles, as is the Cleric of Mara. The Cleric of Stendarr tests how pure your heart is, while the Cleric of Kynareth challenges how blissful with the woodlands you are," Adam explained. "Once the nine tests are passed, the daedra is dead, and you vanquish the Guardian of the Portal, you may leave."

The stone walls of the throneroom were eerily cold. On the ground I saw blood and in the corner, I spotted a man in ebony armor with a sword through his heart. Well, through his skeletal ribs. "The price of failure is death," the Vampiric Knight warned. "Fail any test and your life is forfeit. Just as Squire Vladamir's was." The Imperial pointed to the man I just looked at.

I was about to say something, but then he dissapeared. I travelled up the cold, gray stairs and saw one of the clerics in the hallway. She smiled and wore gleaming, steel armor. "I am the Cleric of Dibella." Her beautiful body matched her words; her long, scarlet hair was like woven fire.

"What is your test, oh great Cleric of Dibella?" I asked politely. "I am a humble Squire of the Nine."

The Cleric gently kissed my lips, "You already passed, handsome. Dibella watch over you, oh wait, she already has." That was the first test? To be beautiful enough for the Cleric of Dibella? A little shallow of a god, but I smiled and walked past. With haste, I headed up the stairs to a bedroom. There a cleric stood.

A large Imperial dressed in shining steel armor and a warhammer strapped to his back frowned. The man was elderly, his hair was graying and his goatee was similar. "I am the Cleric of Stendarr, have you come to challenge me?"

"To take the tests of the Nine, Reverent Cleric," I responded. "I am a Squire of the Nine and must pass these tests to further my training."

"Indeed."

A small Bosmer girl jumped out and stabbed at me. She barely managed to cut into my thigh with the small, kitchen knife, but it stung. I grabbed the girl by the shirt and threw her. The Bosmer wimpered as a blood came from her forehead. "Y-Y-You hurt me," she cried.

I felt horrible, like the scum of Nirn. With a tear, I cast a restoration spell and she smiled. "Th-thank you," she said right before she turned to nothingness.

"You have passed, Squire. There is an ancient spell, where you channel holy energy to your hands to heal yourself or others," the Cleric explained. "Only Knights of the Nine can use this spell, it is called 'Lay on Hands'." He showed me the proper prayers to do it.

"Stendarr watch over you," he said as I left.

With a nod, I left and travelled down the stairs. I walked into the kitchen to find, yet another Cleric. The Cleric wore no armor, but instead wore a simple, black dress. Her pale skin and blue eyes made me think she was a Breton. "I am the Cleric of Mara, Consort of Akatosh, are you here for the tests?"

"Indeed, oh powerful cleric."

Walking in was a crying Imperial maiden. She looked to be in her young adult years. "Samuel, he's dead," she sobbed. "My wonderful husband is gone, out of existence, dead."

I hugged the woman and whispered, "He's in a better place, he'd want you to be happy."

She kissed me and responded, "Thank you." Then dissapeared.

"You passed," The Cleric courtsied. "Mara watch over you." With a smile, I had passed the tests of three of the Nine Divines. After I completed this, I had a feeling Adam would be rather...impressed...

I quite liked this. The Nine are the Nine, so regardless of MW or OB orientation, this was comfortably familiar. Nice job of relating the tests to each divinity.

Well done, Zalphon!

I find myself hoping that you will reveal the remaining six tests.

The Nine indeed are the Nine. However, you'd best study on the gods of Nirn if you'd like to be knowledgeable on the upcoming events

Chapter Twelve: The Champion of Nirn

As I reached the dungeon, I found Cleric of Arkay. He was a middle-aged man in ebony plate-mail. His gray hair was cut well and his nature was obviously nord by his size. "Come to take the test of Arkay?" he asked.

"Indeed, Great Cleric of Arkay," I responded.

Instantly a guillotine appeared and the cleric instructed me, "Put your head in the hole." Reluctantly, I did as commanded and the guillotine came slicing down. It stopped right above my neck, I could feel the blade touch the hairs on my neck.

"You passed, Arkay watch over you," the middle-aged nord stated.

With a nod, I left and went deeper in. This time it was to the Wine Cellar. The Cleric of Zenithar, a young, seductive Bosmer clothed in a white dress smiled. "Have you come to pass the test of Zenithar?"

"Indeed, Cleric."

An illusion of a peasant and a merchant appeared. The peasant was trying to sell his crops, the merchant wanted to buy them all for a tenth of their worth. "Sir, wouldn't it be wiser to just give him the money he asks, for then he'll know you're not a liar, nor a cheat," I mentioned.

The Merchant nodded and handed over a large bag of gold. Then they both dissapeared. "Zenithar watch over you."

With ease, I travelled towards the Lord's Quarters. There sat Akatosh's cleric. The elderly cleric sat in shining, golden scalemail. "I am the Cleric of Akatosh, is it time for your trials?"

"Indeed, Cleric."

A fountain appeared in front of me. "Drink from the fountain for eternal youth," the Cleric warned. "If you dare." I shook my head and it dissapeared.

"Akatosh watch over you," he said as I walked out.

I was now in the Courtyard and it was no average courtyard. It went for acres upon acres. Then out came a Cleric of Kynareth. A smiling Bosmer dressed in a fur skirt and fur brasierre. "The test of Kynareth is to prove you're one with nature," she giggled. "Teach this young wolf to not kill you on sight, and you'll have succeeded."

Out came a pup that charged at me. Then we met eyes and I whispered a spell. It came over and licked my face. "Kynareth watch over you. The last challenges are Julianos and Talos, the hardest."

I nodded and headed into the Throne Room. There sat Talos' Cleric and standing beside him in an advisorly fashion was the Julianos' Cleric. "The Test of Wisdom is simple," the elderly altmer grumbled. "What does the wise man know, that the smart man does not?"

"That a good heart will always bring you out on top," I responded.

"Julianos watch over you, Soon-To-Be Knight," he bowed.

The Cleric of Talos wasn't a cleric, but Talos Stormcrown himself. "I have watched over you since you were born, Kalian," Talos explained. "My challenge is to swear an oath of loyalty."

"To who?" I asked.

"To Tamriel," he commanded.

Obediently, I swore the oath and headed for the door. There stood a High Priest of Mehrunes Dagon. His skin was fiery red, just like his god's. "Prepare to die," he screamed as he charged.

I slid my blade between his ribs and hugged him. "It's not your fault," I whispered as he fell off my blade. I pulled open the gargantuan double-doors and there stood a bright-blue gateway. I walked in and a flash of light blinded me. Adam smiled when he saw me.

"Congratulations, you've learned the first step of the Old Code. You're officially a Knight of the Nine. However, you now must succeed in earning the favor of Magnus and Syrabane, you must read the Oghma Infinium, and unite the Daedric Princes against Mehrunes Dagon and his new Master. He has become a dictator to them and they'll gladly send soldiers to serve a champion," Quick-Strike explained. "Magnus is the God of Sorcery, Syrabane is the God of Warlocks. The Oghma Infinium was written by Haermaeus Mora after he got the knowledge from Xarxes. To gain Magnus' and Syrabane's favor, you must allow your very blood to be mixed with the very essence of magicka."

"The Oghma Ininium can be attained by earning the favor of Haermaeus Mora. After you have the favor of the fifteen daedric princes, you must march across Tamriel with your army of the daedra and followers of the Nine," he continued. "For the first time in history, the Aedra and the Daedra must work together for a common purpose. I most likely will die, Kalian. When I do, remember to make sure my death isn't in vain."

"Yes Quick-Strike," I barked. "I shall defend Tamriel from an empowered daedric prince and a lich that has attained god-hood. To say the least, we will have tales about us for the rest of time."

The quest I was set upon completing, would shape the history of Tamriel, for better or for worse. Zalphon or I would die, and Dagon or I would fall. The Nine are protecting me, soon the Daedra will be too.

"Adam?" I asked. "Is this the Old Code, to be a champion of the Aedra and the Daedra?"

"The Old Code is to be just and rightous, prophecy foretold a hero would arise and unite the Aedra and Daedra against a common foe," the Vampire saluted. "I'll be glad to serve under the Champion of Nirn."

The Champion of Nirn, was that what I was? I was defending Nirn from 'My Ancestor' and an Empowered Daedric Prince, perhaps I did earn this title. Nonetheless, I had to rest and then I had work to do...

An interesting chapter. Aedra and all the Princes against Zalphon and Mehrunes D.? Nice idea. But, I have some nits, if you will.

"The last challenges are Julianos and Talos, the hardest."

and Kallian solved that challenge like one plus one. I understand what your trying to do, but how about you edit that part and tell us what he feels, his reactions, his thoghts and all that. Last I read, Kallian wasn't a ridiculously intelligent Dunmer(?) who could solve the Gods riddles like child's play.

Don't rush at things, buddy.

Nicely done, Zalphon. I liked how the tests related to each of the Nine. Everything is coming together for what what seems like quite the epic quest!

Off to visit Daedra Princes it seems.

I totally agree with Urianas. I like your ideas but (please don't take this the wrong way) they miss depth. I think Kallians at least would need to think about it.

Julianos was testing his heart, to see if he was truly worthy of the title (even though he didn't say it). Kalian made a logical guess based on what he had seen between Quick-Strike who is very wise and Evangeline who is very smart. Evangeline has few allies, Quick-Strike has been with hundreds over the years.

Talos was the first Emperor of the Septim Dynasty, he can sense the dedication in this one and wants him to succeed. So with his divine power, he secretly was ready to turn Kalian to ash if he was lying or had done cruel things. Only the purest of heart could pass the Trials of the Nine. The tests aren't as they seem.

Arkay tested Kalian's bravery and confidence in the face of certain death. Zenithar tested how persuasive he was. Kynareth tested his knowledge of command spells. Dibella's was at face value. Stendarr knew the Dunmer wouldn't kill the girl, but to be truly merciful, he would have to heal the wounds he inflicted and forgive (which he did).

Mara tested his spirit, many soldiers and knights just yell, "Silent, Wench!" He took the time to actually hear her out and comfort her.

The Tests of the Nine are more difficult than he knew. If he didn't heal the girl, the Cleric of Stendarr would've killed him. If Kynareth watched him kill the pup, she would've killed him. If Arkay thought he was afraid at all, he would've killed him.

Only the purest of heart can pass. For those they know are pure-hearted, they are much easier on (like Kalian) or if they commited atrocious acts, they are much more difficult for (like Adam). They can sense that Kalian has above average traits, but they know he isn't like his ancestor.

The Challenges vary for everyone. Adam nearly died in the Trials of the Nine, because he had to tame an enraged grizzly bear while having a levitation and a burden spell cast on him and a levitation and feather spell on it. He also nearly died during Stendarr's challenge when a frenzied orc in a full suit of daedric-made armor and a daedric battle-axe charged at him.

The riddles they gave him weren't meant to be difficult, they tested other aspects of him (as they always do). They observe your answers and reactions. Not all is as it seems. Do note, this is one of the very few times a member of the Nine will make an appearance in the story.

@Remko, noted, but I think I explained above.

@Acadian, Yes, why yes he does.

@Ureniashtram, Noted, see Remko's.

First I just want to say that this is the best writing of yours that I have ever read! The lore-geek inside of me is doing back-flips over the last couple of chapters. I can understand what Urenia and Remko are trying to tell you, but I can also say that I see a vast amount of improvement between this story and the last. Some of the things that caught my eye:

- The motley band of adventurers that you have thrown together is terrific. It would have been easy to make them a group of pious questing knights united in common cause, but you resisted that urge and made them as diametrically opposed to each other as you could. That is the mark of good writing! I am especially impressed with the detail of a necromancer and a vampire hating each others guts . . . that is inspired!

- Your descriptive details have become more specific. Before there was always a certain unfocused quality to your characters surroundings, it was as if the action took place amidst a perpetual fog. Now I get details like the stars shining like ‘silver lights in the middle of a black sky’ and the sound of armor clanking while characters walk. Urenia is right; you can and should take this even further. I for one would like to get a feel for how Kallian is dealing with the fact that he is suddenly such an important figure. Is he thrilled? Honored? Terrified?

- The tests of the Nine Divines . . . what can I say? All of them were very good! The tests of Stendarr, Mara, and Akatosh were particularly excellent (I loved the little Bosmer girl). In fact, they were so good that I was disappointed in the brevity of each trial. I think you could have devoted an entire chapter to each one (your chapters are usually pretty short anyway) and given us more description and lead-up to each in turn. Arkay’s and Dibella’s trials in particular would have benefited from more description.


This is what we are talking about when we tell you not to rush. These are WONDERFUL details of your story that we as readers should discover within the text, not as an aside after the fact.

Finally, don’t take the constructive criticism you receive too hard, Zalphon. People only comment on stories or characters that affect them. If someone chooses to comment on your story it means that they have seen something in your work that moves them to want to comment on it. That is an amazing thing! When someone chooses to point out line by line how a story of yours can be improved it is not ‘nit-picking’, it is ‘constructive criticism’, the one thing that every good writer craves. And, make no mistake about it, you are a good writer.

I understand constructive criticism, and the secret of the Trials was meant to be discovered...later, much later...

I'm glad you like it, Destri. I've noticed I have a lot of views and would like to say, "If you're reading, start critiqueing."

I can't get better without people commenting. So, as asked above, please if you do read, comment on it. I've also done my best to involve as much lore as possible. Quick-Strike is the best to speak it due to his age. He tends to be the brains of the group.

I do accept (and acknowledge) that the Aedra and the Daedra working together is extremely hard to believe, but it is for a common cause.

Chapter Thirteen: The Daedric Pilgrimage Begins

When I awoke, Evangeline stood over me. "Sir," she said. "Are you positive we should go through with this 'quest'?"

The torch had burned out and the scared Breton had a small, light spell active. "I-I'm so scared," she stuttered. "I'm young, I don't want to die." I got up and hugged her tightly.

"It'll be all right, Evangeline," I whispered in her ear. "I promise I'll take care of you and the others." With a smile, she wiped the tears from her face and kissed my cheek. The Breton walked out and on the way out, cast a spell to light the torch.

What am I going to do? My followers are scared, even I am a little. However, I must not show my fear, a leader who shows fear will lose respect and they'll lose faith. I put my eyes in my hands and whispered, "Mother, wherever you are, I hope I'm making you proud." A burning, hot tear fell from my eye to the palm of my hand. I wiped the tears away and got in my armor.

"Let's go," I shouted. It echoed throughout the Caverns. Adam and Quick-Strike were soon behind me, following them were Evangeline and J'skooma. I could sense her fear, the demoralizing truth was, I had it, too.

I pushed open the wooden door and the moon was high in the sky. "How long have we been here?" I asked.

"You were unconscious for two weeks," Quick-Strike explained. "Worry not, we're ready to leave." Adam nodded and we walked out. As I exited, an arrow swished past me.

"Kill him, it is the will of the master," a voice in the darkness screamed. "You'll die, you nix-ho---." Something interrupted it. I turned around and Quick-Strike wasn't by me. A few more screams were heard, and then they all stopped.

"One of them carried this note," the Argonian said as he handed me the note.

"The Master has told me that the One of the Prophecy is in Charcoal Cave. Do not rush in, wait in the darkness for him to come out. When he has exited, kill him and the companions with him.

~Valkynaz Proditor"

"Proditor," I hissed. "He seems to be high in their military, we need to eliminate him. This is the second time he has sent assassins after me."

"Indeed," Quick-Strike agreed. "It would do serious harm to Mehrunes Dagon and his 'Master' if we kill Proditor. By kill him, I mean also destroy his spirit."

"Like the Champion did, long ago?" Adam asked.

"You can't kill a daedroth's spirit, I mean that in the singular term of daedra, not the species," Evangeline growled. "It's not possible."

"Wrong," I corrected. "Pelinial Whitestrake nearly did it, the Champion completed what Whitestrake failed to do in the White-Gold Tower. I will destroy Valkynaz Proditor, but first I must perform the pilgrimages to the Daedra, read the Oghma Infinium, and gain the favor of Syrabane and Magnus."

"J'skooma thinks you should do less talking and more walking," the Khajiit blurted out. "But then, what does J'skooma know? Listen to the cheese." The furry mage pulled out air from his bag and pointed to his empty palm.

With a sigh, I began to march towards the Imperial City to purchase a map of the Shrines of the Daedra in Cyrodiil.

On the road and already under attack.

More insight into Kalian's thinking and even doubts induced by the authority and responsibility he now wields.

I like the vulnerability of Evangeline, and the unpredictable cleverness you weave into J'skooma.

You are building quite the fine story here.