To be honest, I think this is my best story so far. From the very first about a Dunmer Noble named, "Zalphon." An enslaved argonian named, "Quick-Strike." And an insane wizard named, "J'skooma."

I would just like to thank you all. The characters have all evolved. Zalphon, Quick-Strike, and J'skooma. Gold-Heart and Desmond Ashenborn. Kalarn Broodikus, Korvan Broodikus, Alu'kar Broodikus... These heroes are molded and shaped my mind, but they are detailed by your words and your ideas.

We have reached the 50th post.

A special salute to Malx, who has been with me since my beginning days when I wrote in walls of text with no grammar about demi-gods in daedric armor who wielded Umbra to this. Wherever she is, whatever challenges in life and in game she is facing, by the Nine I hope she can get through them!

To Acadian, you've been a reader for a few stories and I'd like to thank you for it.

To Ureniashtram, I want you to know that you critiqueing my stories is an honor, no a privilege.

To Remko, Rales, you're a great writer, as well as a great critic.

To Destri Melarg, When I first came here, I failed miserably as a writer. You turned away (or so I thought), but were always reading (although, silently). I'd like to thank you as well.

Once again, thank you all.

Aww shucks...glad my terror was not for naught Can't wait to finish reading the story, sounds great so far!

Chapter Fourteen: The Map

The sun was beginning to rise as we reached the doors of the Imperial City. The guards wore ebony armor with closed helms and held ebony longswords. "Halt," the one on the right said. "You're to be searched for contraband, such as Skooma or Moonsugar."

They scanned through our bags and found nothing, then they allowed us to pass. The Vampire hastily made a retreat to the sewers and shouted, "After dusk, I'll meet you at this gate."

I just nodded and continued walking towards the Explorers' Guild. They were renown for going where no one had gone before and collecting artifacts. Surely they had a map at their guild-hall here. No one is quite certain where the real headquarters is.

In the Elven Plaza, I found it. A large guild-hall with banners on each side of the door with a map and a quill crossed perpendicular, and a sword beneath parrallel to the bottom of the map. I walked inside and there were a wide variety of people in here. Men and women dressed in fine clothing or expensive armors, mostly ebony, glass, or daedric.

The guild-hall was standard architecture used in the Cyrodiil Guild-Halls over five-hundred years ago. However, stone-work was well-done and the book-cases were lined with books that were centuries old. The Saryoni Sermons, the 2920 Series, the Poison Song series, the thirty-six lessons of Vivec, Vampires of Vvardenfell. To say the least, I was impressed. Saryoni Sermons and the Thirty-Six Lessons of Vivec were thought to be destroyed when Red Mountain erupted.

A lich stood by me and bowed. "Victor Mystblood, welcome to the Explorers' Guild. Are you here to join or for a map?" he asked.

"I would like to talk to the local head of the guild, please."

Down the intricate, wooden stairs came a man in a suit of daedric armor with a strange black sword with a purple glow to it in hand. He wore no helmet, revealing his dark-gray skin and red-dunmeri eyes. "Hail, High Explorer of the Imperial City," Victor said loudly.

"Are you the leader?" I asked this 'High Explorer'.

"High Explorer Fathis Hlaalu," he growled. "I am the local High Explorer, so I schedule the artifact raids and guild-exploration. Members are allowed to free-lance, but they must give ten-percent of all treasure to the guild. So, what do you need?"

"A map," I calmly explained. "Of the daedric shrines, not the temples, but the shrines to the individual daedra. I need a map of the ones in Cyrodiil."

"The Shrines of the Daedra, you do know the Temple of the Daedra is in the Temple-District, correct?" he asked with a acid dripping in his voice. "Or are you an N'wah raised in a pauper-house?"

"Yes, I do," I hissed. "But I want to show my reverence, by going to each one."

"One-thousand septims," the High Explorer barked. "No more, no less."

I pulled out my bag and handed it to him. "One-thousand drakes, now give me the map."

Fathis Hlaalu headed into a door behind the front desk which he stood at. Out he came with a rolled up scroll. "The map will show you where each of them is." I opened the map. The nearest shrine was Molag Bal's, west of the Imperial City and south of the Ruined City, that was once known as Chorrol.

Quick-Strike stated, "I do miss Chorrol, I stayed there for a few decades about two-hundred and forty years ago. The Second Orc wars about one-hundred and fifty years ago. Orsimer was captured and they surrendered. Warlord was executed, as well as his lieutenants. A lot of orcs died in the war, but Chorrol was one of the biggest blows they dealt. Ever since, the ruined city has been inhabited by marauders-clans, bandits, fugitives, and the survivors of the Second Orc Wars and their descendents."

"Molag Bal," she sighed in disgust. "The King of Rape as he is called created the vampires."

"I am not fond of him, myself," I grumbled. "Well, let's get some rest."

I marched towards the King and Queen Inn. The Innkeeper muttered, "Rooms are ten septims each." The old imperial had graying hair. The tavern was sub-par at best. Evangeline put forty drakes on the counter.

He handed her four keys. She handed each of us a key and I went up to my room. For what felt like hours I layed on the bed. Soon after, Evangeline opened the door to my room. She removed her ebon robes and grinned. I returned the smile as she crawled into bed with me. "I know you've noticed how I like you," she giggled.

"I have, and do return the affection," I kissed her.

To say the least, I forgot my troubles for the next few hours with Evangeline...

Good description of the Explorer’s Guild banners outside of their HQ, and I like the fact that you establish the sunrise as something almost sinister from the perspective of the vampire.

One thousand drakes for a map?! Highway robbery, I’d say!

The inclusion of the fall of Chorrol is just the sort of detail that adds depth and dimension to the world that you are presenting to us. Well done!

On the other hand, be careful of the phrase ‘to say the least’. It does nothing to help your story. In fact, it accomplishes the exact opposite and takes your reader out of the flow by putting the emphasis on the narrator instead of the story. And you describe the ‘intricate, wooden stairs’ that Fathis Hlaalu comes down. What makes them intricate? Are they carved? Painted? Jeweled?

Very nice work overall, Zalphon. I look forward to more.

The rich detail you are now weaving in is great! Your story and characters are really beginning to come to life. This is some of your best work!

A midnight visit by Evangeline! Wonderful.

By intricate, I did mean carved. Destri, I'll remember not to use, "To say the least."

Acadian, I am glad you're enjoying it.

Chapter Fifteen: The Shrine of Molag Bal

When we awoke after our tiring "exersize," Evangeline whispered, "We need to get dressed, it's time for us to leave."

"Akatosh has a way of always getting to that time," I grumbled. She slipped on her midnight-black robes, and I donned my armor. Adam opened the door and motioned us out.

"Molag Bal's shrine is about twelve hours away on foot," he said. "We need to get moving." I nodded, my unkempt black hair fell in my eyes. Evangeline pushed it away and kissed me on the lips again; I firmly hugged her.

"A Knight of the Nine with a necromancer?" he asked. "Now I've seen it all." The Vampire stomped out of our way and we quickly made haste. Quick-Strike was nowhere to be seen, J'skooma followed us closely. The night sky was vast and beautiful, the silver moon, the shining lights called 'stars'. However, icy winds blew, during the chilly night.

After hours, the sun began to rise, but we saw the shrine and a house nearby. Molag Bal's shrine had large horns and was aged. There were cracks in the stonework, but it was still easily recognized as the King of Rape. I opened the door to the house, and it was empty. The shoddy wood-work of this hut was enough to protect Adam for the night, but not be comftorable.

The one-room hut was barren. There was a hammock, a rug, and on the rug, a bowl, a spoon, a knife, and a fork. They were all very old items. The knife had much rust, as did the spoon, but the fork was fine. Clean.

Adam growled, "I sense no harm, let us rest." For the rest of my companions, sleep came easily, even for Quick-Strike.

I fell asleep after what felt like days and my dream was of being chained to the ground in an arena. Evangeline grinned at me and took out a dagger. She kissed me and whispered in my ear, "This will only hurt for a little bit, but it'll hurt a lot."

She plunged the blade into my stomach and twisted it. I roared in anguish, and awoke screaming.

Quick-Strike sat with his legs crossed staring at me. "The Shrine of Molag Bal can inspire many things, as can each of the shrines," he explained. "Once I made a pilgrimage to Meridia, I had dreams that night of hunting the undead. I warn you, Vaermina's shrine will leave you a husk of a man if you're not ready. I went their once when I was young. I almost didn't come back from the nightmares."

"I will take the advice, is it night?" I questioned.

"Indeed, I'll wake the others up, you wait outside," Quick-Strike commanded.

Shortly after, they were outside with me. I walked towards the shrine and kneeled, "Molag Bal, King of Rape, I am Sir Kalian Broodikus, and seek to earn your favor in my quest against Mehrunes Dagon and his Master, what must I do?"

An echoing invaded my mind, "Ah, the Champion of Nirn has finally arrived. I will allow you to command one-thousand of my daedroth if you sacrafice one of your companions to Oblivion or yourself."

"I wi--" I tried to say.

"Molag Bal, you inflicted this curse upon me. I will take the place in Oblivion for the crimes I have commited," Adam growled.

He turned aside to us and said, "I have walked Nirn for years, I have been to Akavir, I have been in the depths of Red Mountain, at the top of the mountains of Skyrim, in the deserts of Elsewyr, in the Ayleid Ruins of Cyrodiil, my time has come."

Quick-Strike responded, "I was wrong about you, Adam. You aren't a vampire, you're just in the body of one. You truly are a Knight of the Nine. May Anu watch over you, wherever you go."

"And may he watch over you," the Vampire bowed deeply. Black flames surrounded him. He was in Coldharbour now. Exactly like Nirn, except all the buildings are in ruin, the sky burns in everlasting flame, and the winds are as cold as Skyrim's mountains.

The echoing voice reappeared in my mind, "When you enter the Deadlands, there will be one-thousand daedroth waiting for you."

With a tear in my eye, I turned around. Quick-Strike pulled out the map and stated, "Let's head to Sanguine's Shrine first, and then to Clavicus Vile's."

Evangeline hugged me tightly, "I know you cared about him, a lot."

I nodded and wiped the tears off my cheeks. Adam was my friend, a dear one at that. He was one of the only people who knew the old ways. Quick-Strike and I were the only survivors of the Old Code. I began to march, knowing that his sacrafice was not in vain...

You have several wonderful characters here. In this chapter, you used them all well. This was a well-written and powerfully poignant chapter. Well done Zalphon!

I actually was really sad to get rid of Adam. I really liked him. However, Molag Bal likes to corrupt mortal souls, so he claimed one. Also, I use the term Nirn (which is sometimes synonomous with Mundus, the realm of the Elder Scrolls, Nirn is the planet).

I use Nirn as the Realm of the Elder Scrolls. Kalian is the Champion of Nirn (or Mundus, since Nirn can be either the realm or the planet).

I just wanted to clarify that.

Chapter Sixteen: The Shrine of Sanguine

We walked slowly towards the Shrine of Sanguine. I was quiet and distant from my companions. Mundus lied on my shoulders, the fate of the gods themselves was my duty, and I had just lost my mentor. After about three-hours of travel, we saw the shrine. It showed a horned man with one foot on a skull and a tankard in one of his hands.

The cracked statue had empty wine-bottles and skeletons around it. "Oh great Sanguine, it is I, the Champion of Nirn," I called out. "We have come to seek out your assistance against Dagon and his 'Master'."

An echoing voice filled my mind, "I will send my finest cultists to your aid, if you Kalian can defeat my High Priestess in a drinking contest." Instantly materializing was a table, two tankards filled with a frothy beverage, two chairs, and in one sat a nude Imperial. Long, brown hair fell to her chest and covered it.

The Imperial snickered, "I've taken on nords who have sailed across the seas, I'll easily out-drink you."

I sat down and pulled up the mug. I guzzled down the beverage and slammed it on the table. Instantly it was refilled, and she did the same. For hours this went on, I think Mara was preventing me from the alcohol's worst effects, unconsciousness. Eventually the Imperial's head fell to the table.

"How, how is this possible?" the Voice roared. "Dianna has out-drank Barbas on occasion. Nonetheless, you succeeded, so my cultists will be there. My High Cleric will wield the Sanguine Rose."

"Thanks...hic," I hiccuped. "Now, can I pleash go now?" I tried to walk, but I fell and hit my head on a rock. When I awoke, Evangeline stood over me.

"We're in an abandoned home about a mile away from the Shrine of Sanguine," she explained. "The alcohol you drank would've killed any mortal with a single drop. I don't know what, but you're growing in power."

"I may be lessening my mortality, but I am still a mortal," I responded. "Sanguine proved that when I fell down in drunken stupor."

"J'skooma thinks you need rest," J'skooma purred. "Rest."

I closed my eyes and fell asleep. When I awoke I aheard Quick-Strike and J'skooma talking. Evangeline slept next to me on the floor in this abandoned two-story house. The wood-work was well-done, even the floor-boards were carved. "I think he's getting further in his journey," Quick-Strike said. "However, with each passing day, I can sense more of Zalphon in him."

"J'skooma thinks that the Dark One has no grasp on Kalian," the Khajiiti Wizard responded.

"Zalphon is more powerful than either of us had ever dreamed," he riposted. "I just pray his influence isn't affecting Kalian."

"J'skooma thinks you may be right," J'skooma grumbled.

"Remember when he was born. His mother died due to Korvan's treachery. You killed the maddened Dunmer. I held the child and swore an oath to make him my ward," Quick-Strike said at barely more than a whisper. "He'll never know, at least I hope he won't. Kalian will feel as if he owes me, and that simply can't be. The Dunmer may not be my son, but as far as I am concerned he is one of my own."

"I know."

A tear burned my cheeks to know the truth about my family. My father betrayed Quick-Strike and J'skooma. And he has protected me all these years? When my older 'sister' Syra became a Telvanni and tried to kill me, she wasn't heard from again.

It was his secret, and I wasn't going to reveal my knowledge of it. My 'father' was a good man, apparently. Korvan wasn't my father, he was the one that allowed me to be born. My 'father' was Quick-Strike. I wouldn't tell him, but I'd always remember who really cared...

This was wonderful! The task with Sanguine was creatively conceived and nicely executed.

Your dialogue and descriptions are becoming quite rich and captivating now.

Some family history revealed.

Well done, Zalphon.

Thank you, I wonder what Malx will say when she gets here.

I expected a bit more from the God of Debauchery (Sanguine's actually the Daedric Prince that I like, second only to Malacath), but hey. This chapter is actually well made!

Good job, Zalph. Awaiting the next update! And yeah, I wonder what will mALX say if catch up.

Probably : "WooHoo, yeah! This is AWESOME!!!11 You ROCK, Zalphon!" don't get me wrong, she hit the nail right on the head.

The ale was so powerful it'd kill any mere mortal. He wasn't expecting some "hero" to beat his loyal dog, Barbas.

Whoah, did I just read that one part right or have my eyes finally ran away from me?

Barbas, hound of Clavicus Vile not Sanguine. Sanguine is well, too sanguine to have a pet of any like (except humans and merfolk! Ugh..). I think you've mistook Sangy for Clavylin (!). It's all right though, happens to everyone. Including me!

Well, good thing I didn't name te priestess, huh? Still the High Priestess of Sanguine has to have a strong tolerance to alcohol, skooma, moonsugar, etc.

Chapter Seventeen: The Shrine of Clavicus Vile

When we left the house, it took us about two hours to reach the Shrine of the Vain Clavicus Vile. The Shrine depicted a horn man with a cane and a dog. It was pristine, unlike the others. I kneeled, "Lord Vile, I am the Champion of Nirn and am here to earn your favor in the war against Dagon and his 'Master'"

An echoing voice intruded my skull, "The Champion of Nirn has come to stop Dagon? My reward shall be the Masque of Clavicus Vile, but you must give me your coffer."

I looked down at the steel coffer I owned, it was a small, steel chest with a lock I could never open. The Coffer was surprisingly weightless, probably an enchantment. It was Korvan's. I gently laid it on the Shrine with a tear in my eye.

"King Orgnum's Coffer, finally mine," the voice echoed. "My masque is in your bags, but I do thank you dearly for this item, the gold it will bring my followers will be put to use." Instantly the chest dissapeared and my bags got a little heavier.

I pulled a helmet out of my knapsack. It was a closed-face steel helmet. The viser looked like a face, and the helmet part of it looked like an intricately engraved helmet wih horns. I put it on, it covered my skull and molded to fit me perfectly. "We must head to Meridia's Shrine," Quick-Strike stated.

Evangeline started to shake in fear, "M-M-Meridia hates necromancers, sh-sh-she'll kill me."

I held her tightly and whispered, "She won't harm you. You're more important than some petty necromancer, Evangeline."

She nodded at me. We were about two miles away from the Shrine of Meridia and night was coming. I decided to set up camp, and the others agreed. By time we finished, ate some roasted venison I hunted, and finished talking, the moon was already high in the sky.

Evangeline and I decided to head to bed, the Argonian and the Khajiit decided to stay up. I was hastily consume by the sleep. A few hours later, I awoke and began to eavesdrop again. "Do you remember Akavir, J'skooma?" Quick-Strike said calmly.

"J'skooma remembers the vampire snakemen who almost ate Quick-Strike."

"I do miss the Nerevarine. It's ashame the Imperial Settlers were attacked by the Tscaeli."

"J'skooma thinks Nerevar was good. Nerevar saved us from Demented Imperial Legion Soldiers. He wanted to stay there for reasons J'skooma doesn't know," J'skooma remembered.

"Maybe after Zalphon is slain or redeemed we'll go back to Akavir for a few more decades," Quick-Strike explained. "I'm sure Nerevar misses us. Remember he gave us Hopesfire after we infiltrated the Tscaeli Temple. Nice blade, I when the Tscaeli were coming for his home he asked for it back. I must say, he did use those two blades with elegance."

"J'skooma thinks Kalian should come, too," J'skooma pleaded.

"Of course he can come, I'm sure Nerevar will be honored to meet the Champion of Nirn," Quick-Strike replied. "I just hope he can handle the boat-ride, you remember, it took us a few months to reach Akavir."

Quick-Strike and J'skooma knew the Nerevarine? They actually fought the Tscaeli? What wondrous lives they've lived. If I do live after Dagon and his Master are gone, I do look forward to going to Akavir. The Imperial Explorers never did return, their conversation explains a lot.

J'skooma yawned, "J'skooma thinks it's time for rest."

The Argonian agreed, "Let's get some sleep. We best not wake the others up."

Sleep quickly filled my mind as I heard their footsteps. Sweet, blissful sleep...

Well done Z! I particularly like the hint at them having been to Akavir.
Nitpick: You might want to look at this sentence:

Written like this it would appear the venison was roasted before it was hunted. Bit too concenient hehe.

And another small nit: Tscaeci, not Tsaeli.

You are doing a nice job, and I'm pleased to see you continuing to add nice detail to flesh out the environment and characters.

Meridia? Uh, oh. I'm with Evangeline - nervous.

Chapter Eighteen: The Shrine of Meridia

When we awoke, we feasted on the remnants of the venison. After an hour we arrived at the Shrine of Meridia. It depicted a woman with her hands held together. It was mossy, cracked, and showed obvious signs of aging. "Meridia, what may I do to earn your favor in the war against Dagon and his master," I questioned.

"The Champion of Nirn, you seem to misunderstand," the echoing voice invaded. "You are the Champion of Nirn and Guardian of Mundus, you have already earned my favor by pledging yourself to this quest to protect Nirn and Mundus from Dagon and Zalphon." A golden ring appeared on my finger, it also had an oval-ruby. I hastily took it off.

"Thank you, Meridia," I bowed. "I am honored that I have your favor." I began to step away, the others followed me. Suddenly Evangeline fell to the ground and couldn't stand up.

"Help me," she screamed. "Please!"

The Voice of Meridia filled our minds, "The Necromancer shall suffer for her crimes." Instantly, in rainbow flame, Evangeline was gone. I fell to my knees and threw off the Masque of Clavicus Vile.

"NO!" I screamed. Tears rolled down my cheeks, she was in the Coloured Rooms. She was...gone. Forever. J'skooma picked up the Masque and the last thing I remember is trying to run to the statue and a blunt force hitting me on my head.

When I awoke, Quick-Strike stood over me, "She's gone, Kalian. We had no choice. You were going to defile her shrine and go to the same realm of Oblivion as Evangeline."

"I'll kill you, you N'wah!" I hissed. He shook his head and sighed as I drew my sword. We were in a clearing in the woods. As I slashed at him, he dodged. I continued slashing, lunging, and chopping at him, but each time I missed.

"We had no choice," The Argonian glumly said. "I didn't want to leave her, but we needed to sacrafice her."

"Fine," I growled. "I won't forget this though."

"J'skooma thinks we should go to the Shrine of Malacath, which is nearest," the Khajiit butted in.

We started walking. I didn't speak the entire way. Finally we reached some hut a few miles out from the Shrine of Malacath. The Khajiit entered, and I followed. My feet made me walk over to the bedroll, where I laid down and was engulfed by the blankets. Sleep soon followed.

Again, I awoke and began to eavesdrop.

"Evangeline will be sorely missed," Quick-Strike grumbled. "I cared a lot about her, I liked her."

"J'skooma will miss the necromancer," the Khajiit replied.

"I wonder if we should contact the Order. Do you remember long ago, when we were recruited to the Watchers of Mundus. One day, Kalian will join. In the Prophecy of the Black Dawn, it spoke of a champion to unite the Aedra and the Daedra," The Argonian reminisced. "The High Council would be very happy to finally hear from us after what happened in Thras."

"J'skooma remembers Thras, nearly died when the Sload tried to kill J'skooma for burning the Codex of Necromancy," the Khajiit chuckled. "Remember Pyandonea?"

"Yes, I remember when the Maormer let us ride the sea serpents after we stopped the traitor," Quick-Strike laughed. "I'll say that sea serpents are far more interesting than any minor horse."

I rolled over and managed to sleep. However, I managed to think about how much they were hiding from me. Obviously a lot...

Ev-Evangeline is gone.

I'm heartbroken.

Oh Zalphon, how could you?

Meridia! I hate you!

Let us hope that Kalian succeeds in his quest, for the price he is paying is high indeed.

I was expecting one sentence of sadness and a lot of over the history revealed.

Chapter Nineteen: The Shrine of Malacath

After I went to sleep that night, all I saw was Evangeline being tormented by Aurorans. Them just cackling maniacally. I tried to help her, but it was as if a spell were cast on me to keep me paralyzed. The tears rolling down her cheeks, like the Niben River.

Quick-Strike awoke me. "We must continue walking," he commanded. "It is important." Obediently, I put on my armor and we started walking towards the Shrine of Malacath. The head of the shrine was gone, so it depicted only a cracked, gray humanoid with a hammer.

I knelt, "What must I do to earn your favor, Trinimac."

"That is a name I haven't been called by in eons," the Echoing Voice laughed. "The Champion of Nirn, wow I am impressed. If you succeed in my duty, I will send one-thousand ogrim titans to assist you in the Deadlands."

"What is the test?" I asked.

"You are a Dunmer," he growled. "Defeat my Ogrim Titan with only your hands and you shall have my favor."

A giant, green, bloated ogre-like creature came from behind the shrine. I threw down my sword and punched at it. It sent ripples through the fat of the creature and I looked up. A fist came into my face. The blinding-blow left me just that, blinded and stunned. I wildly kicked and to my surprise, hit it in the groin.

"Me kill," the Ogrim Titan roared. "Me kill pointy-ears." I jabbed at its chest. I whispered a prayer to Stendarr as I punched. When I pulled back, I saw a hole through the Ogrim's chest. It grabbed where its heart should've been and fell to its knees.

"You're the strongest Dunmer I've met since the Nerevarine," Malacath said in amazement. "The ogrim titans will be waiting."

I nodded respectfully and bowed. "The nearest shrine is about a week's travel, it's Hircine's," Quick-Strike said. J'skooma and I nodded. By time we stopped, we saw the Serpent in the sky. We stopped in a forest-clearing. My mind was soon victim to sleep. Then I awoke and heard them talking.

"J'skooma, do not worry," Quick-Strike calmed his friend down. "Kalian grows stronger with each passing day. He'll needn't fear Dagon by time the Trials of the Champion are complete. I can sense his power growing."

"J'skooma can hear movement," the Khajiit warned. "Be ready." I looked around and saw a Breton in torn, black robes and dirty hair.

With haste I stood up and hugged the female Breton. "Evangeline," I exclaimed with joy."

"How did you escape?" Quick-Strike inquisitvely probed. "The Auroran Guardians are very powerful."

"I learned secrets of mysticism I never thought possible." she replied. "How long was I gone?"

"A few days," I answered. Tears streamed down my face. Tears of joy, she was back.

"Only a few days?" Evangeline asked. "It has been years, I was beaten by the Aurorans for fifteen or more years." She lit a torch and showed her face. Her hair was graying, her skin showed more signs of age, she had dark circles and bags around her eyes.

"E-E-Evangeline," I whispered. "How did they do that to you."

"Kalian," she smiled. "For fifteen years I have suffered. I am free. My bones have been shattered, my skin has been sliced open, I have lived on rats for years."

"J'skooma thinks Evangeline needs to rest," J'skooma blurted. "She looks tired."

"In a bed?" She asked enthusiastically. "Or on the soft grass. I have slept on cold-stone for over a decade, anything would be an improvement."

"The grass," Quick-Strike stated. "It's very soft."

The aged Evangeline looked to be about thirty or more years of age. The intensity of her age must have been done by the stress. Finally, she layed on the grass. I tried to say, "Good night." However, she was already asleep.

I layed next to her with a tear in my eye. They owed me a blood vendetta. They changed Evangeline from the meek girl I fell in love with, to the strong and enduring woman she is now. The love I felt for Evangeline was gone. I was no longer 'in love' with her, rather I 'loved' her, but there was a severe difference.

Sleep filled my mind again...

To grow old in love together is to experience never changing, never ending beauty. To have time march at different tempos however, is cruel indeed. Poor Evangeline. Poor Kalian.

I am really enjoying what you are coming up with for the different challenges. I also quite like the creative banter between Quick-Strike and J'skooma.

It's really enlightening on their past since my story "The Knight."

Chapter Twenty: The Shrine of Hircine

A long week's travel followed that night. Quick-Strike told me how I was distant, Evangeline also noticed it. J'skooma was even gloomy during our travels. He had no amusing conversations with cheese as we walked through the forests, instead he argued with himself.

When we reached the shrine, it was cracked, moss was growing, and it depicted a stag-headed man with a spear in his right hand and a dog in the other. "Hircine, it I, the Champion of Nirn," I called out. "What must I do to earn your favor?"

"Prove your skill in the hunt," his echoing voice invaded. "The most powerful prey, is the one with reason. Evangeline is your target. If you succeed, then I will send one-thousand were-beasts to aid you. As well as give you something else."

"Evangeline," I hissed. "You shall fall to my hand."

The woman walked towards me and kneeled. I was about to behead her, but for some reason I missed. I tried and tried, but every time had the same results. "Sanctuary spells," she girlishly giggled. "You'll not be killing me."

With a tear in my eye, I said a prayer to Arkay. My sword hit her neck, perfectly. A clean kill. "Impressive," Hircines' voice flattered. "My werewolves will aid you, but Kalian... Beware, I fought Zalphon hundreds of years ago. He almost banished me, but I used my werebears and werewolves. Remember, Kalian... You are the Champion of Nirn, but you are still semi-mortal." On the shrine appeared a furry-cuirass. The Savior's Hide.

I took off my breast-plate, chain-mail shirt, and cloth shirt. I put it on, took off the cloth shirt, put on the chain-mail shirt, and finally the breast-plate. A little itchy, but it would protect me from the spell-casters of Nirn. "The nearest shrine is that of Sheogorath," Quick-Strike insighted. "The Mad God can do amazing things."

I nodded. Night came when we found the abandoned city of Border Watch. Legend said that a plague of rats came, the sheep died, and flaming dogs fell from the sky. Being this close to the Shrine of Sheogorath makes sense that strange events would occur.

I headed for the inn and took a bed. Sleep came hastily, yet I awoke in the middle of the night to hear Quick-Strike and J'skooma downstairs.

"The High Watcher will want to meet us here at sun-rise," Quick-Strike sighed. "In the letter I recieved, he was most pleased about Kalian's progress."

"We should probably rest," J'skooma replied. "We needn't irritate the High Watcher." I let sleep consume me. When I awoke, the sun shined in my face. I heard three voices. I walked to the staircase. My two friends and a humanoid in black robes, with black boots, black gloves, and his hood up.

"High Watcher Magnus," Quick-Strike deeply bowed. "We are most sorry for this foul residence."

"J'skooma is deeply sorry," J'skooma said. "Forgive J'skooma."

"All is forgiven, Watchers," Magnus nodded. "I would like to say how well you've done with Kalian. I figured he wasn't the one of the prophecy. I do believe it's almost time to induct young Kalian into the Watchers."

"The Watchers hold many secrets," the Argonian verbally riposted. "He must complete the tasks set before him, first."

"Indeed, but perhaps I should give infuse his blood with the a fraction so small of the power of Aetherius it would seem non-existent."

"That may help," Quick-Strike agreed. "He should be asleep."

"He's not. I can sense his energy. He is up the stairs watching us," Magnus pointed. "Come down, Kalian."

Obediently, I came down. "What is thou will," I asked. "I will serve you until my dying breath, and even after if you so choose."

He pulled an eight-sided shard of his pocket. It glowed bright blue, almost blindingly so. The High Watcher put it to my chest and instantly I fell to the ground, unconscious...

Kalian seems to believe his quest justifies the choices he makes to court the Daedric Princes.

Perhaps he can save Nirn, but at what cost?

Your story is certainly evocative.

Let me ask you this, would you take a life to save the world?

What the- You killed Evangeline Mortalitis, for the second time! I mean, I can understand that it's a necessary evil, but this is just unKallian-like.

What? No sad goodbyes? No 'I will remember your sacrifice forever more'? Just get frenzied by duty and decapitate the woman he loves? In an earlier post, you said :



Change of plans, Zalph? Read the bold letters. In this chapter, I didn't see any of the aforementioned personalities.

That aside, this chapter made me excited. I wonder what Sheogorath has in plans for them? I also liked the 'Prophecy of the Black Dawn' and the 'Demented Imperial Guards'. I wish you could make a story of Quick Strike and J'skooma's adventures! So many past history that I would like to learn!

Demented... Black.. Dawn... Funny things, no?

Kalian was so depressed over what happened to Evangeline. And he had to make a command-decision... Mundus or Evangeline? He does care about all of them...very, very much, but he has a duty that he accepts. Kalian has yet to show his feelings over the events of the Shrine. He may not show it...yet... And as he saw it, he was freeing her. She had been beaten, tortured, maimed, etc. for fifteen years. He was releasing her from her anguish...

And at the idea for a story between Quick-Strike and J'skooma, that'd be a long story. Being a member of the Watchers of Mundus has its benefits.

Edit: had to remove something that revealed a little too much about the plot.

Then make it come through in the narrative. So many of your non-story posts have new plot points or psychological justifications for the characters' actions. For the same energy that you put into the "defense of your story," you could just include it in the actual story. It would probably cut down on the criticisms while vastly improving the tone of the story.

Okay, criticism over. Having now gotten caught up with the story, I would like to state that this is a fresh, interesting concept that I really enjoy. You've taken the basic narrative, noticed where it goes, and then created your own intricate story-line for us. I'd like to see more.

Noted, Captain Hammer.

Chapter Twenty-One: The Shrine of Sheogorath

When I awoke, Quick-Strike stood over me. All I could think about was Evangeline. That eight-sided, blue crystal did something to me, but my mind was on my fallen friend. A girlish giggle was heard, "Kalian, a little birdy named 'Magnus' gave me a present." The soft-sweet voice was...Evangeline's.

The young Breton smiled. "The High Watcher ripped my soul back from the Dreamweave and gave me back my old body," she hugged me. "I don't remember much of the events of the Coloured Rooms, but I suppose that's for the best."

My heart rushed, we were hugging so tightly, I couldn't tell if it was my heart or her's beating. "Magnus presented you with a gift, Kalian," Quick-Strike warned. "He did infuse your very essence with that of Aetherius, there may be side-effects. However, your power over magicka will be a fraction of J'skooma's, more than most of the greatest wizards alive can say."

"A question," I asked. "You said you were recruited to the Watchers of Mundus."

"That wasn't entirely true," J'skooma shook his head. "J'skooma and Quick-Strike helped found it with Magnus in 4E 97 during the Altmeri Revolution, when Mannimarco led the necromancers of the Summerset Isles against the Empire. Magnus is the High-Watcher, and we are the Master-Watchers."

"What title do I hold?" I asked.

"You hold no rank within the Watchers," Quick-Strike explained. "To become a Watcher of Mundus, you must succeed extraordinary tasks. J'skooma and I destroyed the Obsidian Tower and watched Zalphon die. One day you will become a Watcher, but until that day..."

I sighed and donned my armor. It was time we started walking towards the Shrine of Sheogorath. For an hour or two we walked. The Shrine depicted a man in flambouyant clothing with a cane. It was old, cracked, and surprisingly not mossy. When we reached it, an echoing voice called out, "The Duke of Mania."

"J'skooma is here," the Khajiit responded. "J'skooma is here with Kalian."

"My, my," Sheogorath awed. "The Champion of Nirn. To earn my favor, you must pass the Trials of Mania and the Trials of Dementia."

"Fine," I barked. Evangeline hugged me tightly and kissed me.

"Don't worry," I whispered. "With my new-found power, I could easily pass these tests." Light-blue flame surrounded me and I was in a dark room. A short, tan-skinned, Bosmer walked over to me.

"The name is Fargoth," he laughed insanely. "You seen my ring? It's an engraved ring of healing. Darn guards, they're always stealing it. I hate them so much, don't you?" I noticed on his finger was a lightly-glowing ring that had engravings on it.

"You have it on you," I told him. "On your finger."

"Liar," he screamed. "For that you'll die." The short elf turned into a blur. Everything faded to black when I saw him stand still. My beating heart still in hand.

"Magnus chose you," Fargoth cackled. "My mother would be a better champion."

Everything went black. I could feel my blood turn to ice as I fell to my knees. I was gone. I wasn't sure if I was alive... Or dead... Or in Sheogorath's dream-world. When I awoke, a golden saint stood in front of me. She wore a golden-scale skirt, with a golden-scale cuirass to match, a pair of boots and gloves, and her wild-blonde mane fell to her shoulders.

"The events in the Trials of Dementia occured. However, it wasn't your heart he removed, it was the Shard of Aetherius," The Golden Saint stated. "The Trials of Mania await." We were in a lightly-lit room and I opened the door and took a step.

I fell, but where was I falling? As I fell, I saw Quick-Strike, J'skooma, Adam, Evangeline, my 'family'... I was falling somewhere, I just didn't know where. I finally hit the ground, it was golden, the entire room was golden. And there was a ceiling about six feet above my head.

I opened the golden-door and looked at where I was about to step. There was a floor, but it was a thin bridge over a gaping abyss. I took a step on it and saw a platform where a portal stood. It looked to be to Cyrodiil where I was. I slowly made my way there and when I entered...I saw something horrible... Evangeline, J'skooma, Quick-Strike, they were all dismembered. And who stood over them? A tall, ash-skinned Dunmer in a suit of black-and-red daedric armor.

"Hello, Kalian," the Dunmer laughed. "Oh, sorry I didn't want guests." I drew my sword.

"I'll kill you Zalphon," I screamed. "Kill you!" My vision turned into red-haze as I flurried wildly. His laugh was like that of a scamp. It chilled my spine. He just kept laughing and talking about how much they moaned and begged.

I felt a sharp blade against my neck and everything went black... I was dead, at least I hoped so...

Ahah! I knew if I whined enough, you would bring back Evangeline!

Everything about Sheo's realm seems so confusing, never sure what is real and what is not. You are doing a great job of capturing that feeling here.

Oooh, a cliffhanger!

Did you not notice what Sheogorath called J'skooma? Quick-Strike and J'skooma tend to have a long, arduous, but most interesting past

Chapter Twenty-Two: The Shrine of Sheogorath II

When I reawoke, I was in a pair of red-silk pants and a red-silk shirt. I wore fine, doe-skin shoes. A Golden-Saint smiled at me. "Finally awake," She giggled. "Well, you passed the Trials of Dementia, now for the Trials of Mania."

"Where am I?" I asked. "The Shivering Isles?" I looked around, I was in a similar, golden, cubic room. The Golden Saint handed me a vial with a bubbling green liquid and small, white pebbles in it.

"Drink up, it's good," She told me. Obediently I wrapped my lips around the vial and let the foul-tasting liquid go down my throat. It tasted worse than roast-scamp. Around me, I saw dancing spoons and singing lutes. A beautiful melody was heard.

I looked down and there was a dirt floor hundreds of feet below me. I just laughed. I had a feeling of euphoria. My body crashed into the ground, but it didn't hurt, instead it actually tickled. Out of thin air appeared a fire atronach. "I have a riddle for you," it stated. "Are you ready?"

"Does mudcrab taste like burnt slaughterfish?" I asked rhetorically. "By the Nine, I'm ready."

"What is dark, but also light, but sometimes even both?" The Fiery Daedroth asked.

What was dark, but also light? My "Aunt" Vyra after a few bottles of flin? Or perhaps a Dunmer who got bit by a vampire?

I looked into the sky and saw the moon. It was dark, but also light. "The moon," I exclaimed. "Look, do you see it?"

The Daedroth dissapeared and there sat J'skooma. "J'skooma has the final challenge," J'skooma chuckled. "Ready?" Wow, what could this foolg ive me for a challenge?

"You should know," I said as I fell to the ground when I tried to walk over to him. "Ask me, you furry bundle of fun."

The khajiit held up his right palm which glowed bright blue. He touched my forehead and blackness entangled my vision. I don't know what happened. However, it couldn't of been good.

Mania - nicely captured!

Fun and crazy. Cleverly done.

Oh yes, I caught Sheo's comment to J'skooma. Made perfect sense given his age and quriks.

Chapter Twenty-Three: The Shrine of Nocturnal

I opened my eyes and I was in Cyrodiil. Was it real? Or was this just another game. Quick-Strike asked, "Are you okay, Kalian?"

"Y-yes," I responded. "I was trying to decipher if this was the truth."

Evangeline rushed over and hugged me. "You're okay," she whispered. "Thank the gods."

I nodded and ruffled my hand through my hair. I looked at the map which revealed Nocturnal's was only a few hours away if we made haste. I alerted Quick-Strike of this news, who agreed. For hours we travelled in silence. I guess I should be happy to see Evangeline, but I can't waste time on my own life.

When we reached the Shrine, a spine-chilling darkness was over us. The Shrine depicted a woman with her arms both in one-hundred eighty-degree angles and ravens on them. "What--?" I was interrupted.

"The Champion of Nirn desires my favor," Her echoing voice laughed. "Perhaps. If you succeed in my quest, I'll give you a suit of daedric armor that Dremora wear. If you fail, then well..."

"What is the challenge, Mistress of the Night," I asked.

Nocturnal asked, "Quick-Strike?"

"Your majesty," he kneeled. "How may I be of service?"

"You are my most elite assassin," She said. "Champion, thank Quick-Strike for my favor. He has been a loyal ally to the entire daedric pantheon for years, should their purpose not be malevolent..."

"Your majesty," He humbly responded. "Her childishness only goes so far."

A suit of daedric armor with a sword and tower-shield appeared on the Shrine. I picked it up and took off my current armor. I put on the new suit of armor and smiled. It was not only daedric armor, but enchanted. I could sense the life around me, yet this felt as light as a feather. I could feel my wounds regenerating.

"High Assassin Quick-Strike, may the Champion of Nirn enjoy his armor in the Daedric Civil War," She said.

I grinned at Quick-Strike. Even if he couldn't see it, I knew he noticed it. I looked at the map and sighed deeply. The next shrine was the Shrine of Peryite. The most pathetic of the Daedric Princes, hardly deserving of the title. I sighed oncemore and started to walk.

Daedric Civil War, so original, right? Where'd you get that? Also, why would it be a 'Civil War' if outside forces ( the Aedra ) are involved? Seriously.

Daedric Civil War. . . Somehow the things 'Mutilation', 'Sincerest Form of Flattery' and 'Songs' comes into my mind, strangely. Ever heard of that song?

Actually no. I wasn't referencing an ingame book if that's what you're mentioning.

Then what, pray tell, are you mentioning? A story made by someone? A failed RP attempt? You piqued my interest, bro.

You mentioned some things, I'm not sure if they're in-game books. But no, this is all from my mind.

I'm not seeing any real challenge here. Kalian shows up, and poof? Daedric armor, with awesome enchantments, shows up simply because one of his companions?

Good drama is conflict. It's an actual challenge. It's more than just collecting plot coupons. Particularly when the plot coupons are practically mailed to you.

Nocturnal is awefully thankful of her subjects. Don't worry, one free coupon doesn't mean his challenge is anywhere near over. The next is the Loadmaster, remember? The Daedric Prince of Pestilence and Labor? He'll die before he gets a free coupon from Peryite.

Edit: Urenia, I just found your RP, I'm not copying it I promise. I didn't get inspiration from that. I didn't even see it until today.

Sure, sure. Methinks is ok. Jar-Jar go away now. (cackles madly)

Seriously though, Daedric Civil War used to be my 'Main Jewel of the Crown'. I even made a FanFic version of it! ... But all good things must come..

Got's to agree with Capt'n here. Hopefully, our Taskmaster should give Kallian an interesting quest.

That was a bit before my time Urenia. I only came here a few months ago. Sorry if it's similar, but I only used Daedric Civil War to say that it's a war between the daedra. I'll rename it Wasn't meant to be a mimic of yours. Honestly. And have you seen how different this is from your RP?

There's more to the whole plot coupon thing.

The best allegory that I can give is the Knights of the Nine expansion. Two different quests, similar rewards, but two very different procedures. Kynareth and Julianos. And Julianos is the far more enjoyable quest.

spoiler
For Kynareth, all one has to do is A) show up at a shrine, B) head over to a grove, C) not fight back as a bear attacks you, or simply use the Crusader's Helm Calm spell on the beast, and D) head into the grotto to grab the boots. That is literally the entire walkthrough for that quest.

For Julianos and the Shield of the Crusader? It's a long, highly intricate dungeon crawl. The place is teeming with invading conjurers that you have to put down, and the whole place is a maze. You have to proceed carefully, avoiding the dart traps while optionally leading your enemies into them. There are areas that are connected but not directly passable, meaning an enemy alerts to you, then runs off and shows up behind you while you're busy dealing with her two buddies. Getting past the actual puzzles requires concerted effort, repeat attempts, and a logic-elimination game that could be found on the LSAT. An actual walkthrough for the whole thing is an entire story post in and of itself for a KotN fanfic. And it is far more enjoyable for that. When you grab the shield, you feel that you've actually accomplished something. It's one part relief that the ordeal is over, one part regret that it was so much fun and that playing through it again requires a reload, or a new game, one part satisfaction that you were better than the challenge.
/spoiler

That's what good narrative is. It's the difference between the Odyssey, and somebody saying "Odysseus spent nine years trying to get home. First he hit the Cyclopes' island, then he visited Circe, then he made a quick trip to the underworld where he learned about the suitors, then he got shipwrecked and spent half a decade with Calypso, then he finally got home and killed the suitors in his own hall."

My above quote is worse than the SparkNotes version. Homer would take multiple nights to sing that tale (it was originally performed as poetry, set to background music).

My method will be forgotten until the next time a literature professor points out the importance of narrative to her class. I know that what I am saying has been said before, but just not to me or anybody I've talked with. It won't be recorded for history, despite existing at multiple points in time. Homer might not have actually existed. But 4 billion people have heard of Odysseus and the Odyssey.

Chapter Twenty-Four: The Shrine of Peryite

The travel to Peryite’s shrine was short compared to some of the others. When we finally reached it, we noticed that the ground around it had become marsh-like terrain with a miasma of disease about it. “Home,” Quick-Strike commented. “Just like home…”

The Shrine itself was pristine, not a single crack, not a single piece of moss. The dragon was finely carved. It was on a raised area of land. “Mortal,” the Taskmaster’s echoing voice barked. “You come for my favor? I will grant you a shield of power that can help you destroy enemy spellcasters.”

“What must I do,” I asked inquisitively. “Drink a vial of a blighted man’s blood? Organize Mora’s realm?”

“My task will require you prove yourself. You must fight in the Tournament of the Nine Blights. Ash Woe Blight, Ash-Chancre, Black-Heart Blight, Chanthrax Blight, Sanies Lupines, Serpigninous Dementia, Cannibal’s Prion, Scalon Blight,” Peryite explained.

“That’s only eight,” I said. “What is the ninth?”

“Porphyric Hemophilia, the one you will have during the Tournament,” Peryite laughed. “If you survive the Tournament of the Nine Blights, then you’ll receive the prize.”

“When do I go to the Tournament of the Nine Blights?”

“Now,” Peryite cackled. A portal appeared showing an ancient Dunmeri Ancestral Tomb. I entered. Nine vampires were in the dome-shaped room.

“You are our Champion in the Tournament of the Nine Blights?” the Altmeri Female growled. “Nevermind, I am Eldafire, the Ancient of Clan Aundae. I will bless you with the Divine Gift of Vampirism.”

Eldafire grabbed my back. She tore off my helm and bit into my neck. The anguish felt like two small daggers being plunged into my neck. I obediently took it. The Tournament of the Nine Blights would be interesting. Eldafire was basically my caretaker until the Tournament starts.

She let go of me and muttered under his breath. I fell to the ground, asleep before I hit the ground. Eldafire was obviously powerful. She survived the Summerset Wars of 4E 373 when the Summerset Isles tried to declare themselves as their own empire. Now Altmer are as rare as ebony. They can be seen once in a while, but there are very few survivors.

I let the sleep take hold of me. I would need all the energy I could get for the Tournament… Strange dreams haunted me while I slept. They were of me holding a baby who turned to ash in the day-light and blew away in the wind. A vision or a side-effect of the disease?

Nocturnal. Once again, Kalian's allies and thier long pasts prove their worth and value.

Peryite. This sounds interesting. I'm looking forward to how the tournament goes.

Chapter Twenty-Five: The Tournament of the Nine Blights

Three days had passed since the day I was bit. The fatigue I felt was gone and replaced with a sense of power, raw, untamed power. I grabbed a vial of Imperial Blood and sipped it. The flavor was divine, it tasted slightly of grapes.

Eldafire hissed, “Today is the first day of the Tournament, Lord Iraak will take you to the Dueling Grounds.” Out of the shadows appeared a Dunmeri Vampire. He was completely bald, light-skinned, blood-red eyes, and fangs. He made a motion for me to follow, which I did.

He led me out of the Dunmeri Ancestral Tomb, eight other buildings were in a circle around a raised steel platform. It had stairs up into it, and a steel cage. Peryite hovered above the cage and roared, “The Tournament of the Nine Blights begins today. The fight is the Champion of Sanies Lupines versus the Champion of Serpigneous Dementia.” The sunlight wasn’t natural, but it affected the werewolves like a full-moon.

Charging in was a furry-humanoid. He had light-brown fur and a wolf-like tail. His snout was canine-like. Going into the cage was also a man in iron chain-mail with a steel long-sword. The man sighed, “Let’s get this over with. My life is worthless anyway”

The feral dog bolted across the cage as soon as Peryite shouted, “Begin.” The fight was over as quickly as it started. The chain-mail clad warrior was torn limb-from-limb in a matter of seconds.

The cage-doors opened and the werewolf darted back to his mead-hall. Out of thin-air appeared a scamp who started to clean up the dead Nord. As soon as the Nord was gone, Peryite shouted, “Porphylic Hemophelia versus Ash-Woe Blight!”

Obediently I walked towards the steel-platform. I wore my suit of Daedric Armor. The enchantments were short-lived as the magic faded from it as soon as the sunlight hit it. A drooling Breton male with brownish-blonde hair wondered into the cage with help of the scamps. The Breton had a wooden spoon in his hand and a loincloth on.

“Begin,” Peryite yelled. The Breton started to hit itself with the spoon. Ash-Woe Blight affected the mind in horrible ways, I felt horrible as I beheaded him. The Scamps came out and cleaned up the cage. I left and silently headed into my quarters. I was disgusted with this entire Tournament.