I sincerely hope you really read all the posts here......telling you that you indeed have friends...here even if it´s internet-friends we care for you and other ppl in this community. That is the good thing about this kind of relation....we can talk, listen, give some good advice, and simply just be there for each other!

I can strongly recommend you to read Danny´s post and think about it! It´s some really good stuff in it!

I , too, think you have to try to dig yourself the other way around...that is out of your depression! If you really think about it there have to be something good which you can hang on to..and make life seem a bit brighter. Like Danny and the guitar!

Just remember.....we´re here for you, and we do listen to you......m´kay?

I dont' know which post you are talking about, can't find it.

And I can't find anything good to hang on to, I love video games but I certainly don't like playing them all day. I don't really have any musical talents, I simply was in chorus for four easy years and I can't sing very well. Danny is lucky, he has something he knew he had. What do I have? All I have is my dog, Ashley, and you know what? The last dog I had hung onto died of cancer in the back left leg at the age of three, so I'm afraid to love my dog anymore and have to deal with the crying again when she passes away. The whole reason I played Morrowind and play Oblivion is to get away from this world, to something fantastic and interesting where I can express myself. I don't know how to express myself, people tell me they do it through music, art, talking but I don't understand how that works. "Do what you love" is what people tell me, but the things I love, I can't do.. they are just there. This school year will be my first year in highschool, but unlike Danny I don't know of or can find anything that would interest anyone... I'm so plain. My parents don't force me to do anything, I quit sports because people made fun of me and I've never bothered to look for something else, I figured I would simply be mocked. I'm like the only guy that likes volleyball, and it would be embarrassing to be on a male volleyball league or something.

Its like I'm stuck... I didn't get to start anything young and when I do something nowadays its embarassing and the people that live in my area are mean, they like to make fun of me because they know I'll go home and cry later. Right now my only real friend is a kid a year younger than me, up the street. Me and him both like Metallica, but that's it... when I go up his house or he comes over mine, we simply talk and I've never done anything fun besides that... I've never gone to the mall with friends and no parents, same with the movies and I just don't know what to do! The lunch table I used to sit at had a lot of nice people who accepted my existance, but they never seemed interesting in becoming friends except for Kenny and he said he would call me or invite me over to play some video games or soemthing.. he hasn't called and I'm afraid to call him... maybe he just pretended.

I just don't know.

Now wait just a minute here! You're talking about not learning anything young and now it's too embarrassing to learn something new because people will laugh at you .... Wurlon, I am 54 years young and I just got back from an entertainment media school tour at a place called Full Sail here in Orlando where I hope to LEARN computer animation. You never stop learning in life, or at least you shouldn't! As for my possible future classmates? Honey, I have never seen so many pimples and testosterone in one room in my life! haha Most of the people were teens but some were older like me. Do I expect to get laughed at? Yes. Do I think people will say "Whatcha doin' here granma?" Sure. Do I think they'll make fun of me for being too old and out of touch? Yup. Do I care? Not a bit!

I'm gonna look em in the eye if they make fun of me and say, well your generation is already caught up in the gaming industry - but there is an untapped market out there that they would love to hook on games and get their money, the middle-to-older female audience. And guess who knows EXACTLY how to hook em cause I'm one of them? ME. So who will an employer think can pull in more new audience?

And I know that this is true because Cain got me into game by buying me 'No One Lives Forever.' I guess all the mini skirts and bright mod clothing and high-heeled boots probably seem campy or retro to people now. But we were wearing them in the sixties and I was having the time of my life. NOLF hooked me totally. Then came Arena and theres been no turning back.

Wurlon, why don't you introduce your young friend down the street to Morrowind and Oblivion. Could be another interest that you two maybe could share.

See? My point was just proven. Point me to one part in that post where you tried to change something.

THIS is the post not to miss. It is hard to read because its a bit harsh but I know Dantrag wrote it that way to try to get you to stop wallowing in self-pity. Here's the thing ... if you have a biological depression caused by a chemical imbalance in your body, then nothing that we say can make much change for you - you may possibly have to live on medication like many of us do. It sure beats life from inside a funny farm though. On the other hand, many of the things you say sound like the hormonal changes and flux that happen with puberty and growing up. This is something you need to figure out if you can.

What you really need to do is self analyse your depression as much as possible and figure whether it's caused by 1.) just weird feelings that come over you for no reason 2.) situations and causes in your life or 3.) surges of feelings that seem hormonal and to do with going from adolescent to teen. I know - that's a tall order, isn't it? But ultimately, you are the one - not some doctor - who will finally figure what the problem is and grapple with it and solve it or learn to live with it. Some people are depressives. Terrible for them but true. But even they live with it on medication. I'm not saying that you are ... hoping you're not.

Ask questions like ... How long has this particular depression lasted? ... Do I have ups, normal times and downs? ... Or just ups and downs?.. Do particular events trigger my depression (or make it deeper) ... For instance a sister? ... What other adult can I talk to if my parents refuse to believe me? ... What are events or people or things that lift me out of my depression, even temporarily? Do I feel better or worse after certain kinds of foods? ... What time of day is worst for me? .. Best? .... stuff like that. Many people keep a mood diary so that they and maybe later a doctor can analyse the cycle and symptoms of their particular moods. Do anything you can to deal with it Wurlon. Don't let it own you. You are at a wonderful time of your life. You need to find your way clear to enjoying it.

Quit being such a pansy dude... grab depression by the balls like I did... and metal songs dont get you depressed they empower you and I should now since I have been listening to metal since I was in 6th grade and I have depression as well so dont go blaming anything on metal if you do get down to comitting suicide... because then I will be pissed. And listen to Dantrag... stop pitying yourself... I actualy used depression as an advantage as a writer and now I have some pretty kick boat storyies stacked up in a shoebox that I have been meaning to type out... eventualy... by the way I learn a lesson a long time ago... only cowards seek the easy way out... and suicide is the cowards way out... for those who cant take the struggles of life.

Hey man, no need for insults. There is a fine line between being harsh and being mean.

Sorry... just things like this piss me off... again sorry... I just tend to take a more aggresive approach to things.

It seems almost redundant to add my voice to this thread, but it feels like I must. Like many of the other people who have posted in this thread, I too have suffered from severe depression. I can't say that I understand what you're going through, because nobody other than you could really ever completely understand. But that doesn't mean that we don't know what it is like to be severely depressed. When I was your age, I was constantly depressed and frequently suicidal. I didn't have any close friends that I could talk to about it, and purposely alienated myself from other people to hide my feelings from me and them. In my junior year of college, I finally figured out what it was thadt had been making me so depressed, what it was that I was trying to hide from myself and the people around me. Once that happened, I was able to start down the road of coming to terms with who I was and that has allowed me to get where I am today. I realize that makes it sound easy, but it certainly wasn't. I've spent years in therapy and had some help with anti-depressants. But for me, the most helpful thing was therapy, mostly because by talking through what I was feeling, I came to understand it better and in understanding, there comes acceptance and the beginning of a solution. Having said that, I don't know what it is that has brought you to where you are. I can't promise that the solutions that have worked for many of us will work for you. But I can promise, as many others have done, that if you need someone to talk to, I'll be here. You have said that you don't really know anyone in this forum; most of us only know each other from the posts that we've made. Some people here are true friends, and communicate via PM and other means on or off the forums. I know there are a lot of people here who have felt what you're feeling, even if for different reasons. You may not know any of us on a personal level, but it doesn't have to stay that way. I'm sure that if you sent a PM to someone who felt safe to you, they would be happy to stay in contact, get to know you better, and try to help as best they can. I know that I would.

Perhaps I've rambled on long enough. I'll end with this last thought: Please talk to someone, somewhere. Find someone you can trust, someone who cares, someone who understands, someone who can help. I'm confident that if you can find even one person to really talk to, it will halp.

But the problem is I want to be with people and I can't get there! I'm like a kid in a candy store trying to reach something on the top shelf... you want to ask for help but you are too afraid! My god my wildest dreams would be to be with a group of people having fun! I just don't know how, when I meet people its just..bland or whatever it is where I can't get passed a brick wall! This is where I need the help!



I didn't miss that post, I was afraid to respond to it because I thought he'd flame me. I"m not doing this for self pity, I really need help and I have no where to turn, I don't want to go to a pyschologist. My depression is constant, I've had it since 6th grade.. three years now. I have to admit it has gotten better, but I'm not out of it yet.



What?!?



Well its like I don't know where to go or what to do! I did introduce Dave to Oblivion, he thought it was amazing but admitted that he doesn't like to sit down for too long for a video game. I introduced him to halo 2, and got the same reaction so I guess he likes video games.. but doesn't play them much. I don't know, making friends with Dave may the best friggin' decision I've made but I don't know how to get myself interlinked with him... like going to places with him.

I've found depite what Ibis suggests video games are a bad common ground between friends. Also typically you have to be friends with someone for a good while before they become a confident. Get yourself a girl, they become confidents much faster.

Wow Doomed, you read my mind on the first suggestion that I considered .. a girlfriend .. but then I thought maybe that would be moving too fast. A girl whose interested in you would be ideal because it would certainly "lift your spirits", put spring in your step, etc. and also girls are more sensitive to problems and actually like to listen to others which I think sometimes guys just gloss over between themselves. You guys have to act so rugged, I don't know how you do it sometimes ... I guess it's the training from an early age.

I don't know why you think that video games aren't good between friends, but I wouldn't know about between friends ... I play with my husband and I know it draws us closer. But it might be different for friends. I mean really, sometimes when we are out in the wilderness of Guild Wars or Shadowbane together I really feel like we are in real life backing each other up in battle ... like Conan and Valeria .. I love it. But video games are not as good as face-to-face relations in real life.

Wurlon, how about this? You and Dave both like Metallica, right? So why don't you suggest sometime that the two of you go to the Mall or music store and buy or check out Metallica albums. Especially if you've got enough money to buy one that you don't have, you could ask him to come along to offer his advice in choosing. Or just to browse if you don't want to buy. And then while you're there, suggest looking around at some of the other stores, check out the chicks, grab a bite to eat ... just go and have a good time. Get to know each other better. It'd be a good way to see what other common interests you have and get seen by the girls as eligible guys on the hoof. Or however you guys say that now.

Concerning a 3 year depression, that's a long time for steady depression. If you started keeping a journal or mood diary it might help you ... I'm glad you said that it has been slowly getting better. That's a good sign.

I once gave advice at a forum to a guy who really wanted to meet girls and didn't know how to exude confidence at dances ... I told him to take dancing lessons. Not only to learn to dance, but to learn to socialize at the classes where it didn't matter so much before going to the dances with his peers. He did sign up for the dancing lessons but then he got so nervous, he couldn't go through with them. But later, his sister taught him to dance and that really did help him and broke the ice and he was launched into meeting people and making friends.
So I won't tell you to take dancing lessons ... but any chance that you get to socialize just a bit or say a friendly hello to a neighbor and launch a small conversation would give you conversational skills that you could then use at school or the mall or wherever you could make friends with people your own age.

Eh you make things sound so easy.. me and Dave have all the metallica albums already btw.. but I am terrible with girls. Not only does my speech slur if I really like them, but if they get to know me I spill out my feelings like a waterfall. About the jounal, I did start one and thats all I did.... after the first time I thought "journals aren't for me" because I felt like I was writing an english essay. Also no girl admits to actually liking me, I'm what they like to consider "weird". I do talk to some girls on AIM but I don't even know if I'm on their friends list.. for all I know they could be thinking "god will this freak shut up"

How come when I am given advice ... teh solution is a problem in itself... what have I done to put myself in this mess!

And I'm not lying, but I play Starcraft online and I'm in a clan (group, persay) and I met a girl who had quit a long time ago. It was only a day ago that she returned and we were playing together joking around like online friends do.... but later I guess she was horny or something and she kept telling me she wanted to make me dirty lol! I'm pretty sure she was joking but soon after I talked to her and spilled out everything I had to say about what I thought about girls, sex and all that and even complimented her for listening to me, told her she had the most soothing personality and she told me that was the sweetest thing someone ever said to her.. and she is supposedly 17.

Even if its just online.. I swear to god I feel so much better. Urgh god my blood is pumping, I haven't felt this happy in so long.. imma cry i'm so happy. Omg I know it might seem like you guys didn't do it but you did ahah! My god LOOK A SMILEY omfg I'm calling up some people tomorrow.. its time to change my life. Stupid depression! BEGONE

You guys are heroes.

This is not a post, this is a figment of your imagination.

lol Kiln that was good advice, you shouldn't of done that lol... it was just a little too late

Well if you saw it then thats all that matters now isn't it?

True, true Kiln ... that was sneaky of you though.

Wurlon I am soooo happy for you!! Of course online friends matter ... Doomed rocketed my spirits with a pm the other day and Pisces ... well, he just keeps in touch like no other online friend I've got. He even keeps me informed about mutual online friends we have that I haven't talked to in so long.

Wow, you lucked out about this girl being so flirty. Or maybe you just really DO instinctively know the right thing to say, little lone wolf. Seeing your smilie face did my heart so good I just can't tell you! You are the hero also for beating the depression.

Oi! I'm the lone wolf.... or at least i was until minkey decided i was Wolfie

I know you are Wolfie ... that's why I called Wurlon the little lone wolf. I think he is younger than you - I could be wrong. Just seems that way.

Well i suppose i can let you away with that one then.....
And he is younger than me, apporx 3 years . Well, that's if he put his real date of birth in his profile thing...

Yes, unlike Pisces. I wonder if I put mine? I think I did. When I first talked on Morrowind websites, I'd knock 10 years off because I figured everyone would think I was ancient and not like me. But then i saw that there were some people older than me. So now I don't care.

I can't believe you thought I'd flame you. Sorry if I came off as that kind of person, it's just that in my experience, bullshitting people doesn't help them, and I'm here to help. Or at least try.

The last two sentences make me think that it's just the whole adolescent depression stage that a lot of people go through. The fact that it's getting better is a good sign; I'm sure you'll get through it soon.

eh I don't think if its me, but this seems ironic

Aquarius
January 20 - February 17
Today is a powerful day for you, dear Aquarius. Your emotions may be a bit stubborn, but realize the very thing you are resisting is the thing you need the most. Consider making a major change in your life that will help bring about a more healthy balance between you and the people you associate with. It may be time for a whole new outlook on how you deal with your relationships.



Nah that is my true birthdate, I'm a honest person... I actually waited until I was exactly 14 to sign up for MySpace.. but then I was too lazy to actually make a profile rofl!


eh I think maybe God blessed me yesterday (erm or very early today ;P) because my sister got her wisdom teeth out yesterday (Monday) and I stayed home in case she needed stuff and THREE friends on my AIM msged ME to see what was up... that was like M-Azing. And then of course, the online friend helped me later unknowinly (She keeps calling me cute >< god I hope it isn't a guy) and well, I DID realize something yesterday.

This isn't the only place I've spoken of my problems, but it is in detail here. Usually I discard information I thought would not work... but now I see that its all important in its own special way! But really my only problem is being social, so I guess I should look over all those social ones again ;o I mean I'm still feeling happy right now but depression is evil.. it lurks around the corners! Eh but from advice, I just have to not let things bother me so easily.. insults, bad days ... which I guess accumulated too much. I really don't know lol but I like being happy and understandable than depressed, mean and inconsiderate.

Edit: I meant to tell all the good things that happened yesterday but I was so happy and it was so late (around 3:00 in the morning or so) that I only told the one part and then wandered around a little ;P



To tell you the truth, I really look forward to coming here with no other purpose than to talk! I used to just want to check up on Tes F'ruum but now that I have found that this place is full of nice people it gives more meaning to post each time ;p

I'm glad to hear that things are going a bit better, even if only for today. Sometimes all it takes is a moment of sunshine to brighten up the day.

Wurlon! I´m so glad things are improving for you! I´ve been watching this thread every day to see how it turns out and if you are responding to ppl:s posts!

Why you are such a sweetie, so no wonder some girls will make friends with you.....and maybe more than that!

So now I´ll cross my fingers even harder for you.......

Yes yes, everything that Minque said above - I agree. I too have checked everyday. We are like mother hens, Minque

You know, actually filling out a MySpace would be a good move - a lot of people socialize that way. It's low impact, a lot easier than meeting face to face for the first time. Also easier to get ahold of someone after school etc.

Another EXCELLENT reason for you to start your own MySpace is that you could be part of the Chorrol friendship circle there. Doomed, Black Hand, Intestinal Chaos, Geonox, Me ... and you! If you join (I need more members on my friends list) tee hee ((Did you ever notice that friend minus the R is fiend? weird)) Try taking the R out of some words - it makes an interesting difference sometimes.

So anyways, I'm glad to hear about yuor 3 internet friends calling you, as well as the girl who thinks your cute. You see? That shows you have a good personality because it comes acrost over the internet. That horoscope was Right-On .... things are looking up for the Wurlon beastie. haha

Eh well I don't know how to make a myspace page either >< and I don't have a recent picture of myself.... parents were having too much fun on vacation and dropped it on a concrete walkway. Yes, it was supposed to be durable but the battery compartment was damaged and we haven't gotten a new one yet. I really don't know, I know A LOT of people who have MySpaces but you know.. I'm shy like that.



Aww thanks minque, your WAY sweeter than me though! I mean, I don't know how or why this girl finds me sweet but I"ll go along with it.

Wurlon, I'm "afraid" that I'm going to have to jump in and call you a hero. Your problem, and eventual climb to happiness was a wake up call for me. I find it amazing that we share many traits actually. I've been reading the posts and your shyness (which may or may not exist, because you seem to be scoring with teh ladies), your age, and a lot of other things. Its darn time I get the courage to do what you've done. Congratulations on finding a piece of happiness, theres a whole pie out there somewhere waiting for you.

Thanks, man.

heh, I wish I had just gotten a girlfriend instead of the drug thing.

Heh dude that was A LOT OF LUCK and I guess a whiff of my personality ;p

Same here, be glad you didn't choose that route Wurlon, nothing good lies at the end of that road...unfortunately, I know from experience that drugs cannot solve your problems.

Heh I followed some advice. I started actually using my myspace and already have three friends on it. It can be found here http://www.myspace.com/72025841 but I don't have a picture of me up yet!

Also, one friend from school invited me to go to the movies this weekend to see Pirates, if it does happen it will be a great time to meet some new people.

Things are starting to look up even more!

YAY!

*does the happy dance*

I can´t say how happy I am for you! Really great Wurlie! I´ll get a MySpace myself soon.....I´ll look you up!

Oh yes Minque, I hope you do get a MySpace soon. Right now they seem to be having some technical difficulties today. But I hope you will get one.

stop complaining everyone has problems

No need to be a jerk about it and if you must add such pointless comments at least have the decency to capitalize the beginning of your sentences and add proper punctuation.

Well the problem got solved so I don't see why we are dredging up old parts that were posted earlier. It was all part of solving a problem and rather than seeing it as complaining ... think of it this way = You are never going to solve anything if you can't address it and spell it out and communicate to other people what you are feeling about it.

That's what Wurlon did, he had a problem, he discussed it with others and he solved it & I admire him greatly for the courage to do all that online among friends!!!

I wuv him.

Then you forgot this ....

To the point where they have suicidal thoughts?

Please be more tactful in the future.

Amen. We are among friends here but should still maintain understanding and politeness.