like the gas one gets after eating haggis.


*Foxy rolls around the floor in spasms, making strangled squeaking sounds*

Very clever! Then how cute as it turned into a bidding war!

You go, girl! Listen to your inner kitty voice! Lets cross Gils off the list.
Gils may be no good, but he's right here. Let's cross Fathis off the list.

Oh noes! Is it Vincente behind door number 4? OMG, where is Janus?

Oooh! The DB. . . wow, I wonder where that will lead?

My goodness there is a lot swirling around! You are indeed the mistress of plotweaving!

I wonder how high Maxical and Gils would have gone if Owyn had simply let them keep bidding against each other. He might have been able to afford a decent set of clothes for his illegitimate daughter, Branwen (funny how that has never come up)!

I am not going to start quoting because the entire conversation between Maxical and Gils was perfect! I especially liked Gils� description of Benirus Manor and his desire to make little �Dun-jiits� with Maxical!

And now the Dark Brotherhood comes into the story. This promises to be some music festival!

The bidding war was great fun.



Excellent description in this and the lines that follow.

haggis

To say that word properly, you have to make it sound as if you have a fish bone caught in your throat- and have been breathing the �air� of Edinburgh for many years.



No, not a dumb kitty at all.



ROFL



I may not trust Gils� motivations, but I do agree with his assessment of Fathis.

And the return of Vicente and the DB Stooges!

@ Foxy - Yeah! Now that's what I like to hear!!! Thank you so much Foxy !!!

***
@ Acadian - ARGH! You're crossing off all her men! ROFL !!! I refuse to pick a #4, she has enough men in her life as it is, ROFL !!!!

You picked out a couple of my fave places in the chapter, I'm glad you liked them too. Thank you so much Acadian, You ROCK !!!

***
@ Destri - I had Branwen (and her note to Owyn) several times in the original story, I may yet get her in for a cameo.

I am so glad the conversation with Gils came out all right. I edited the H out of it, and still worried it was too much.

The music festival promises to be packed. Not a whole lot of music will be described though, lol. Thank you so much Destri !!!!!

***
@ Treydog - I always wondered if one would sound like they were hawking up a loogie when they said it - now I know !!!!!

You are correct (DB Stooges) - oh yeah. Thank you so very much Treydog !!!!

*


Chapter 60: Secrets In The Sanctuary



******* Vicente Valtieri


Vicente rose, looming over Ocheeva and lowering his voice to keep Antoinetta from hearing.

“I caught that look, you did this deliberately! You knew Antoinetta would insist on going when you told her of your hotel room. You brought this on yourself, and so I will tell Teinaava when I give him the contract. I’ll find out later why you sought to aggravate me, but since you have…you know I’ll need to stay indoors the whole time, and I require a room for the quiet. If Teinaava gives up his room and sleeps on the couch…I’ll delay the contract.”

“All right, Vicente. I’ll talk to him then, see if he doesn’t mind. But you’ll have to pay what he did for the room so I can reimburse him.”

Her last words startled Vicente into raising his voice. “There are four of us now! I’m not paying full price and have Teinaava stay free! Divide the cost of the suite by four and Antoinetta will pay for two…”

“Me! Why do I have to pay for it?” Antoinetta squealed, stamping her foot.

“Because this is your idea, I don’t even want to go.” Vicente snapped, his temper flaring.

“That isn’t fair, why should Teinaava pay the same as you to sleep on a couch when you have a room?” Ocheeva raised her voice.

“What’s all the shouting about?” Telaendril popped her head in the door.

“Vicente wants to take over Teinaava’s room for the music festival, and expects him to pay the same amount to sleep on a couch…” Ocheeva began.

Telaendril’s eyes lit up. “Are we going to the music festival? I want to go! How much are you charging? I don’t need a room.” She turned to the door and shouted. “Gogron, come quick! We’re all going to the music festival!”

“Take this discussion out of my quarters and into the…“ Vicente began.

Gogron was lumbering in with a sleepy smile when he was nearly bowled down by Teinaava, who charged into the room looking angry. The scuffle that followed ended quickly when Gogron pinned Teinaava against the wall. Gogron‘s arms were raised, the sweat dripping onto Teinaava.

“Get off me, man…good gods you stink! You’re dripping sweat…GET OFF ME!” Teinaava’s voice was muffled by Gogron’s broad chest in his face.

When released, Teinaava stomped up to Ocheeva, fuming.

“I told you not to tell Antoinetta about this! Now see what you’ve started? You knew she’d run her mouth and ruin everything!” Teinaava stuck his forked tongue out at Antoinetta. “I’m not giving up my room, I paid for it.”

“Ocheeva, make him give it up for me, pleeeeeez…” Antoinetta whined, turning her over-large eyes up to Ocheeva.

“Gogron, you’re stinking up my private quarters! All of you, take this discussion somewhere else!” Vicente’s voice was raised now.

Ocheeva ignored him, shooting Teinaava a calculating look and a slight signal. “Anyone that wants to go has to pay an equal share for the suite. Anyone who gets a room in the suite has to pay twice that portion per person. Pay up now or you don‘t get into the suite.” She wrote down a figure on a parchment and held it up.

Gogron pulled a wad of Septims out and paid for himself and Telaendril. “We don’t need a room!” He grinned at the room in general.

Ocheeva looked over at Antoinetta. “Well? You have to pay four times this amount for you and Vicente to share the other room, or twice this amount just to stay in the suite. What are you going to do?”

Antoinetta looked over at Vicente, by her expression obviously prompting him to argue more. He rubbed his fingers together pointedly and turned away from her, pretending to read a book.

“Okay…I’ll pay.” Antoinetta said in a sulky tone, then muttered under her breath. “You were nicer when I was putting garlic in your dinner…”

“What did you say?” Vicente’s eyes blazed.

“Nothing. I said I’ll pay so we can share a room.”

“What’s going on?” M'raaj-Dar entered the room, taking in the varied expressions on everyone’s face.

Ocheeva held up her hand to silence, counting the Septims that Antoinetta handed her.

“We’re all getting one room together for the music festival. If you want to come the price is this to sleep on the floor at the Merchants, double that if you want a room.”

“Who else got a room?” M'raaj-Dar’s eyes darted to Vicente.

“Vicente and Antoinetta are sharing one.”

“I’ll take the other then.” M'raaj-Dar grinned and plunked the Septims into Ocheeva’s webbed hand.






***

Ocheeva divided the Septims in half and handed Teinaava his share, pocketing the rest. Everyone began filtering out of Vicente’s quarters talking excitedly about the trip. Vicente signaled Ocheeva over as she was heading out the door. She shut the door and locked it, walking hesitantly over to Vicente.

“What do you want?” Ocheeva’s voice sounded wary.

“Keep an eye on Antoinetta. I think she’s going to add garlic to my meals again. I wonder if Lucien knows about my allergy to garlic? He may have spilled his guts to Antoinetta about it in a moment of passion.”

“You think in a passionate moment Lucien was thinking about your allergies? Maybe he made up shopping and ’to do’ lists as well, or plotted the fate of the empire…”

“Sarcasm is beneath you, Ocheeva. Secrets are always passed in the heat of lovemaking, it‘s how assassins garner information.”

“Why would Lucien be passing secrets about you? They are both on your side…supposedly.“

“Who knows? He may just babble like an idiot in the act. But Antoinetta…she is on no one’s side but her own. You’d do well to remember that, Ocheeva…especially since she has Lucien‘s ear. Teinaava was right, you need to quit passing any information to her. We are running this chapter of the Guild, and it’s unprofessional of you to discuss anything said in confidence with the members.”

“Unprofessional! You’re calling me unprofessional? Your slab has seen more action than…”

“May I remind you that you enjoyed quite a bit of time on that slab yourself…oh, wait! I see what this is all about, you‘re bothered that I’m seeing Antoinetta…”

“Maybe I am, can you blame me? Having to sneak around as if you two are married, as if I’m naught but an illicit affair? We were together first…”

“Ocheeva, you know why we have to be discreet. If she went to Lucien with what goes on in here, we’d all be purged. It’s like having a mole amongst us. If you hadn’t told her about this trip it could have been us going away together for the weekend, just like old times.”

Vicente cupped his hand under her chin, raising her face to his. “Come, Ocheeva…we have too much history together. Don’t let anger take that from us.”

Ocheeva’s eyelids drooped at the touch of his hand. She was still his, for all her angry words. Vicente leaned over her shoulder, letting his breath tickle her neck. Her knees trembled, she would be putty in his hands…

But then Vicente chose the wrong moment, the wrong words to croon into the crook of her neck.

“Since it’s your fault I’ve been forced to go…you’ll have to feed me.“

Ocheeva pushed back from him but was still caught in his arms. “Vicente, you should let the moths out of your wallet for a change. You’re getting a free room! Teinaava and I paid plenty for the suite and have to sleep on the floor watching Gogron and Telaendril go at it.”

Vicente’s eyes flashed anger, then changed to a calculating look. “Are you forgetting that it’s because of me that you and Teinaava made out like bandits? You don’t make that much in a month, I should get a kickback for that! And I’ll need to have meals sent up. I can’t be seen, not with that dratted law Uriel passed.”

Ocheeva pulled away from him in anger. “Get Antoinetta to pay for your meals, she’s the one sharing your bed. You don’t share it enough with me anymore for your hunger to be my problem.”

He caught her before she could storm away. “Is that what this is all about? Ocheeva, don’t let her presence ruin what we had together. You know I can’t abide angry women, that’s the reason we’ve not been together. It has nothing to do with her. You know she couldn’t possibly match your experience there. I just don‘t want her to find out about us and carry tales to Lucien. Come here then…”

Vicente pulled Ocheeva to him. “You’ve been avoiding me in your anger. Do I need to beg you?”

Vicente cast a spell by making an elaborate flourish with his hand, removing both their clothing instantly. He drew her close against his chest and felt her weakening, leaning in to him. Her webbed hand began slowly sliding down his side…then suddenly a pounding came on the door and Antoinetta’s shrill voice echoed in to them.

“VICENTE! LET ME IN!”

Ocheeva pulled away from him. “Forget it, Vicente. Or get rid of her for a while. I’ll not do it with her pounding at the door.”

Vicente exhaled loudly and stomped over to the door. Pressing his mouth to the keyhole he yelled for Antoinetta to get him a steak dinner with a baked potato at the Cheydinhal Bridge Inn and bring it back to him, snapping at her to make it fast when she tried to talk her way into his room.

“She might go to my room and come down here through the trapdoor.” Ocheeva hissed.

“Then get up there and lock it, make yourself invisible. Wait…okay, now.” He gapped the door slightly and shoved Ocheeva out after she cast the invisibility.






***

Ocheeva climbed down into Vicente’s room through the trapdoor. “It’s locked, and I saw her leaving.” She moved into Vicente’s waiting arms.

“We will have plenty of time together while she’s at that music festival…leave after she does in the mornings and spend some time with me.”

“I don’t know…”

“Do it Ocheeva. Promise me you’ll give me some time while we’re there. I won’t go unless you say yes.” Vicente hesitated in his action.

“Don’t stop…okay, I’ll do it.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear. Will you feed me? I’ll need to eat…do you want me to stop again?”

“No…I’ll feed you…some. Get the rest from Antoinetta. She‘s getting to sleep with you in a room.”

“That’s your fault. Next time don’t tell her anything.“

*

Ocheeva was putting her clothing back on slowly, her face a study of anger and shame.

“What is it Ocheeva? Did I not bring you pleasure?”

“…Of course Vicente…it’s this line of business. I can’t meet anyone else. I was with you first. It’s her you should be sneaking to see, not me. If I could meet someone else she could have you. It’s humiliating to sneak…and share.”

“Don’t talk of finding another, you’ll drive me mad like that lunatic vampire we read about in the Courier.” Vicente pulled her tightly against him and whispered the words against her neck. “You know as long as she has Lucien‘s ear we’ll have to be cautious in everything we do.”

He watched the chill bumps raise on her arms before dropping a kiss on her shoulder and releasing her. Ocheeva preened slightly before casting invisibility and slipping out the door.






***

“Why was your door locked earlier? Why wouldn’t you let me in?” Antoinetta demanded, tossing the box containing the steak dinner down in front of Vicente.

“I was seeking to rest up for this trip without being disturbed.”

“Vicente, why must I sleep out there with all the others? I want to be in here with you, so everyone knows we’re a couple. I think Ocheeva…desires to be with you. I‘ve seen the look in her eyes…like you‘d want an old wrinkled lizard…”

“She is your sister, remember? Mind your tongue.“

“Well she’d have to have a fin loose in her brain to think you‘d want her when you have me. You…you’ve never been with her before have you?”

“Of course not. We are professionals working together to keep this Sanctuary running smoothly. You know you’re the only one I want to be with.”

“I can’t believe you never met anyone you wanted before I came along.”

“You know how special you are, how do you doubt it?”

"When are we going to be married? I should be running this sanctuary with you, not you and Ocheeeeeeeva.” She drawled out the name in a sarcastic tone.

“If we marry now I can’t promote you, it will look like nepotism.”

“I'll have Ocheeva's position, you’ll see. I’ll talk to Lucien, he’ll give me her job and throw her out of here. He knows real talent when he sees it."

“I worked you up to Slayer already, did you forget that? I can’t show favoritism by promoting you too quickly. The others will be suspicious of how you have gained all those ranks.”


*

My goodness, it is a wonder the DB can stay in business amidst their antics! Very amusing!


Might the crazed vampire mentioned in the Courier go by the scary name of Aggie?


I particularly enjoyed the last scene. After you painted and set the stage, the clever maniuplation employed by Vincente upon Antoinetta was truly impressive! He is one smooth bloodsucker.

Holy ships, what a well crafted back story!!!

(Foxy's jaw drops to the flaw at the plotcraft)

Nae, it's Lord Lovidicus. No one knows Agronak is a vampire yet but the reader and Janus. The Courier article is referenced in chapter 58 in a conversation between Gils and Owyn:

Oh boy. Intrigues within the DB. Vicente is setting himself up for trouble. Lots of good scene-setting and characterization in this one.

There are certain things in life that I have come to depend on. For instance, I know that my computer and cell phone will perpetually be three years obsolete. I know that, if given the chance, the Cleveland Browns will find a way to lose every Sunday. And I know that, in mALX�s capable hands, the Keystone Cops Dark Brotherhood are the perfect remedy for the mid-October blues. I enter these two passages as evidence:


Add to that you�ve got a vampire eating a steak (rare, I assume) and baked potato, PG-13 depictions of lizard-lovin�, and whiny little climbers like Antoinetta! Like Acadian said, it�s a wonder any contracts get done at all!

Dark Brotherhood! Bad Maxical!

@ Acadian - Vicente's got a game going on in that Sanctuary - I don't know if he is using that spell on them or what! Lol. Any man that can mooch off a woman at the same time they are hitting on them... Thank you so much Acadian!!!!

***
@ Foxy - coming from you - that is huge!!! Thank you so much Foxy, and keep your eyes open in this upcoming chapter for a mystery man... (!!!!)

***
@ Treydog - Thank you so much Treydog!!! I hope the personalities of the players showed through, that is what I was trying to do, lol. Vicente...oh yeah, I see trouble in his future! Juggling women when they live under the same roof - not smart, especially when they are assassins, lol.

***
@ Destri - Thank you so very much Destri !!!!! ...They're baaaaack!!! The line about Lucien in a passionate moment was a spur of the moment thing on the edit - I loved it and kept it. My problem with editing is that I add more than I delete, then I end up with 60 chapters covering only a couple months in the characters lives, ROFL!!!

***
@ Zalphon - Thank You so much Zalphon !!!! Uh oh, it only gets worse from here...the DB has issues sometimes in my stories...ARGH!!! ROFL !!!!!

***
@ EVERYONE - The upcoming chapter was inspired by Naughty Haughty and Julian on her recent chapter posted October 11, 2010. I laughed myself ill from the minute I read it (five days) and finally had to add an inset to this chapter as a tribute to Haute for bringing me joy.

There is also a cameo in the upcoming chapter of an unknown person...

*


** This chapter was inspired by Naughty Haughty and Julian on her recent chapter posted October 11, 2010. I laughed myself ill from the minute I read it (five days) and finally had to add an inset to this chapter as a tribute to Haute for bringing me joy.

** There is also a cameo of an unknown person.



Chapter 61: The Thong



******* Vicente Valtieri


Vicente felt a poke in his side and nearly spewed his wine. He glanced across at Antoinetta to see if she had noticed him jump. Her sullen expression and the discontent in her eyes showed she was still dwelling on the unsatisfactory progression of both their relationship and her career with the Dark Brotherhood.

“Er…Antoinetta, I need my cloak and cowl taken to the Cheydinhal Bridge Inn to be laundered immediately. Tell them to put a rush on it, and wait for them to finish so you can bring it back. Otherwise they’ll close for the night and I won‘t be able to go with you.”

“Why didn’t you have me bring it before? You knew I was going there…”

“Don’t question my directives, this is exactly why it is so hard to keep promoting you. Now go!”

Vicente heard the bolt drop into the lock position after Antoinetta left. Telaendril appeared, her hand raised in the spell that removed her invisibility. She danced over to Vicente and plopped down in his lap.

“She’s too stupid to know inns never close, and thinks she could run this place?” Telaendril snorted.

“She thinks a lot of things that will never happen.” Vicente pushed the dinner away and turned Telaendril around so she faced him. Where is Gogron?”






***

“I saw Antoinetta leaving and hurried to get Gogron out of here. That big oaf took forever, she was back with your dinner by the time he left. Are you really hungry? Can your dinner wait?”

“Can it! You’ve been hiding from me lately, you know I can’t stand this sanctuary unless you keep me company…” Vicente cast a spell that stripped both their clothing and pulled Telaendril into his arms. The smell of Gogron wafted from her skin, churning his stomach.

“Gogron is a grunting pig. He weighs a ton and insists on being on top, his sweat nearly drowns me. I’m afraid one day he’ll fall asleep in the middle of everything and crush me.”

Telaendril leaned toward Vicente, putting her arms around his neck. With each movement the rank odor of Gogron powerfully drafted up Vicente’s nose. Between the stench and her words Vicente felt his dinner begin to roil in his stomach. The nausea mounted quickly. His hand flew to his mouth and he rose from the chair in a swift movement, unseating Telaendril.

“If you mention Gogron again I’ll lose my arousal. It drives me as mad as that loony vampire in the Courier thinking about you and him together. You are too good for the likes of him. It’s me you should be with…I’m jealous, and will slay him one night if you don‘t leave him.” Vicente declared, covering for his hasty leap from the chair.

“I…never knew you felt this way Vicente!” Telaendril gaped. “Your passion was so great you leaped from the table as if you may run out and slay him right now! Oh Vicente!“ She pulled herself off the floor and ran to him.

Vicente realized he had scored a hit with that tirade. If he could break them up so she didn’t reek of Gogron…she would easily be his favorite.

“Don’t try me long, I ache to plunge a dagger in his back.”

“Oh Vicente…I’m jealous of Antoinetta too…” Telaendril wrapped her arms around him, hugging her face to his bare chest.

“I only tolerate her at Lucien’s orders. Come, let us not talk of them. I want to…”

“Vicente…you smell like Ocheeva!”

“Oh, I loaded her down with Septims to spend on all of you in the Imperial City. She hugged me, that‘s all. Er…I left myself nothing to eat on, you will feed me while we are there, won’t you?”

“You know I will. Vicente…why are you rooming with Antoinetta?”

“The law Uriel Septim passed, anyone can kill ancients now. I’ll need to drink blood so no one sees my nature, much as I hate to…but the alternative is death. I could never ask you to let me feed on you…although I’m sure you blood would be ambrosia compared to hers. …It’s only a few pints, nothing that would be missed by the giver.”

“I don’t know Vicente, I’ll think about it.”

“Think about it later, we’ve talked away our time together.” Vicente kissed her passionately, then began a steady downward pressure on her shoulders.

“But Vicente…”

“You smell of Gogron. You know I have a sensitive nose. End it with him tonight, or I‘ll end it with a dagger on the trip.”

“I will…”






***

Vicente stretched out on his slab afterward…yes, she was easily his favorite. Telaendril cast invisibility and slipped out. Without rising Vicente cast a spell to lock the door. Less than five minutes had passed when Antoinetta banged on his door.

“VICENTE! LET ME IN!”

Without rising he cast a spell to unlock the door.

“Enter.” Vicente’s voice reflected boredom.

“Well don’t act like it’s a big chore.” Antoinetta pouted.

“You know, you are really too old for that pout to be endearing. I suggest you drop it from your repertoire.” Vicente rolled his eyes before shutting them again.

“Vicente! Are we not going to…”

“If you insist, but I’ll need to rest first. It’s been a stressful day.”

“Ew, your skin smells of Gogron.”

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous of him too! Next you’ll accuse me of M'raaj-Dar…and stop sniveling if you want me to be able to perform.”









******* Gogron gro-Bolmog


Gogron slowly rolled off the top of Telaendril. “What do you mean?”

“I mean it’s over between us. You’re crushing me like you did that poor bunny you had as a child. I‘m sick of it Gogron, you’re a brute and a pig. You stink, and whenever I’m with you it makes me stink too. It’s over, now get away from me.”

Gogron’s perpetually smiling mouth sank down into a frown. “I love you Telaendril…and I never crushed a bunny, that‘s a lie.” He said in a quiet voice.

He heaved himself up and began picking up his things. Telaendril’s lacy thong drifted to the floor when he lifted his greaves. He glanced up at Telaendril, but she had her back turned to him.

Moving faster than normal, Gogron snatched the panty up and slid it into the pocket of his greaves as a tear slid down his cheek.

Gogron glanced around the training room before going in. He hesitated, M'raaj-Dar was in there practicing his spells.

“What happened to you? You get sick from licking Vicente’s boots? Ha ha ha ha!” M'raaj-Dar put away his spells, indicating he was waiting for an answer.

Gogron hesitated, but the need to confide in someone was too great. “Telaendril said it was over. She said I reek, and that I crush her.”

“I know, I heard her telling Ocheeva she was planning to. She said you squished a bunny too.”

“I didn‘t squash a bunny, that‘s a lie. So that’s why Ocheeva told me I couldn’t hug the new recruits anymore!”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I took her panty, I don’t know why. I came in here to…bathe…I guess.”

“Ha! You've got to be kidding me! Let me see it, is it lacy? Perfect! I‘ll tell you what to do, you weave it into your braids so everyone can see it, but she can‘t snatch it out without undoing each braid. Then in front of her, tell them what it is. And don‘t let her see she upset you; laugh when you tell them…like this, ’Ha ha ha ha ha‘!”

“You think that will get her back?”

“…Get her back? Er…Sure! It will get her back for what she did to you…“

“If that works, I won’t have to take a bath?”

“Did you take one before she bedded you?”

“No.”

“Then why start now? She obviously liked you as a foul-smelling ape this long. There has to be another reason behind her ending it. Maybe she is seeing someone else…”

“Not bloody likely! …Wait a minute…like who?”

“Teinaava tried to attack you today…he looked pretty mad.”

“Teinaava! That worm!”

“Or it could be Vicente, I’ve noticed when he calls her ’Sister’…he looks like he believes in incest.”

“Vicente! That blood-sucking old bat! I‘ll bet it is him! I‘m going to hang outside his quarters all night and see if she sneaks in there!”

“Good idea. As your friend, I’d be willing to keep a close watch on Telaendril for you.”

“You’re a good friend M'raaj-Dar, thank you.”

Steam from the bath had left a film of vapor on the looking glass. Gogron wiped a circle with a meaty hand. It gave a smoky appearance to his reflection as his fingers worked the thong into his hair.






***

Teinaava sat reading a book in the main room’s library. Vicente stood nearby, leaned up against the shelves…M'raaj-Dar was right! Telaendril was there with both of them!

In a rare moment of speed, Gogron sashayed up. He made a point of twirling awkwardly in front of them. Telaendril’s eyes bulged when she saw the crown of pink thong wound into his hair, she knew immediately why she was unable to find it earlier.

Seeing her fuming, Gogron gave her an overly large forced smile.

“What in the hell is that thing in your hair, Gogron?” Teinaava gawked at it.

Vicente’s lip curled and he took a step backwards. “Good gods, it’s lace! Should we begin calling you Gogronetta?”

“Hey, I don't like to tell stories, but Telaendril and me...ha ha ha ha ha…you know? Don't believe me? That‘s her thong in my hair! Ha ha ha ha ha!”

“What is he doing?” Ocheeva whispered to M'raaj-Dar.

“He’s wearing her thong. She’s been cheating on him with someone here in the sanctuary, and he’s going to find out who. Can you imagine her with that foul smelling ape? How's that for gossip? Ha ha ha ha!” M'raaj-Dar elbowed Ocheeva.

“Do you know who she‘s cheating with? This is important, M'raaj-Dar!”

“No, but I’ll find out. Gogron has given me the task of watching her…closely.”

“You do that, M'raaj-Dar. Find out who she is sneaking around with…I’ll give you a little bonus on your pay if you find out.”









******* M'raaj-Dar


“How could he do that to you? What an idiot! That bunny crusher! That foul-smelling ape! He is unworthy of licking your boots, Telaendril. If that was me, I would treat you like a royal princess. Anything you wanted would be yours without you even having to ask. You just cry right here on my soft fur, it will bring you comfort…“









******* ????????


Staying close to the bushes and keeping to the shadows, a man dressed totally in black slid silently behind the members of the Cheydinhal Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary as they made their way to the Imperial City. His feet never broke the stillness of the night, he moved as if trained not to crunch the gravel along the path. His ears and eyes took in every word, every movement.



“Why can’t I ride a horse? I can’t walk the whole way!” Antoinetta whined.

Telaendril‘s eyes wandered frequently to Vicente with hints of flirtation.

Gogron was tailing Vicente so closely that he kept bumping into him and stepping on his heels. Vicente shoved him away each time.

“Get off me Gogronella! Walk further back, your stench is overpowering and I‘m tired of you trodding on my heels!”

Ocheeva’s eyes flitted between Vicente and Telaendril so much that she stumbled frequently. Her facial colorings began glowing in the dark in infused neons.

M'raaj-Dar moved up next to Telaendril. “Cuddle up to my warm fur, Telaendril. I’ll make sure this cold night air doesn’t give you a chill…” he whispered as he wrapped his cloak around her.

“How long is he going to wear that in his hair? It’s humiliating…” Telaendril whispered into M'raaj-Dar‘s ear.

Vicente’s head snapped onto the two of them, his eyes an incandescent red.

Teinaava sulked, glaring darts indiscriminately between Antoinetta and Vicente.

“SLOW DOWN!” Antoinetta demanded, stamping her foot.
.



When they entered the Imperial City the man following became an invisible shadow, walking as a part of their group…unseen and unheard.









******* Maxical


That last conversation with Gils went through my mind so often that I could have recited it verbatim if asked. My nerves were frayed…no, they were totally shot. I even bit Owyn’s head off a few times. After that he began avoiding me.

Fathis came almost daily and took me out of the Bloodworks. Every time a Pit handed me a note saying Fathis was waiting outside, Gils would fume and rant. Fathis spent quite a bit of time kissing me, but each time was no different than in Anvil. Nothing happened. I was returned to the Bloodworks unstarted. Fathis seemed to be becoming agitated and frustrated with our visits. I know I was.

Gils…he could have chewed a steel bolt in two with his teeth he was getting so aggravated. Our practices became so intense that Owyn backed us off training. The tension was palpable, and spread through the Bloodworks like a plague till we all were sniping and irritable with each other. Overall was a tangible scent…something imminent…so thick in the air it was hard to take a breath.


*

Not- not- bunnies? Oh, it's just a vicious rumor. Whew!

Not sure which was funnier, M�raaj-Dar�s advice, or the fact that Gogron followed it.

The whole whinging, griping, sniping procession to the Imperial City simply knocked me out of my chair. You have obviously been on a few long road trips with a bunch of children, right? Reminds me of Denis Leary talking about his dad being able to smack the entire backseat full of kids without turning around�

And just to add the perfect spice to the DB Chaos Brew, we have a moment of Maxical- complete with cliffhanger. And I quote, �ARRGH!�

Ahah! I have it all sorted out now. Gogron is infiltrating the Arena! "I will crush you like a bunny! Here, let me stick your head under my arm, you yellow team swine - who needs a paralize spell? Oh, and check out my doo! I'm not one to brag, but. . . . Say, that Andronicus smells yummy!"

My goodness, you have certainly brought the Sanctuary to lfe. Replete with smells, passions, jealousies and hillarity. The smartest assassin of the bunch seems to be (surprise, surprise), the Khajiit.

Very crreative!

You...you kill bunnies?!?! HOW COULD YOU?!

@ Treydog - The line about the pout ("...too old for that pout to be endearing. I suggest you drop it from your repertoire.�) came before any of the DB storyline - I wrote the whole DB section regarding Vicente and Antoinetta around that sentence, lol. I'm glad you picked it out.



SPEW !!!! I fell out of my seat laughing when I read that !!! I'll have to look up Denis Leary !!!!

Thank you so very much Treydog !!!

***
@ Acadian - Aha! You caught that! Oh yeah, M'raaj-Dar is def a bit of a stirrer of trouble - Thank you so much Acadian !!!!

***
@ Zalphon - Nah, now that is something you can blame on Bethesda, (or John Steinbeck, who Bethesda borrowed it from). Thank you so much Zalphon !!!

***

Oh my gosh. I have a feeling that Vicente was bitten into a vampire during his years as.. how do I put this.. um, er.. A How-nee teenager? A How-nee teenager that somehow made his face appear as a shrivelled apple? A How-nee teenager so...ahh...err.. how-nee that he hits on lizards and bosmers who he calls 'Sisters'? What is this?! This is getting rather... horrifying, mALX!

= = = lol

Awaiting the next chapter!

Now, it is true that my dong has passed many a thong
and discovered delights worthy of many a song
'tis true, too, that I have heard of, and seen
Many a pouting puta who thinks she'd grace a screen ...

But this - dear mALX - has left me speechless
Characters some witless, and some quite breechless!
I know that Orcs stink, perpetually on the brink,
Of killing all breathing that turgid fetid miasma (wink)

But the talk of this Orc is a real piece of work
He spews like a testosterone-crazed asinine dork!
With armpits like Barnpits full of reeking odure,
...heck...who needs the suave, smooth James Bond allure?

And that puerile puta too made me laugh
Thinking she's as classy as a German Lady Graf
When all the time her whining, pouting act
shows stupidity, immaturity, and lack of tact!

The Vampire Leech is the Lech we seek
to kick in the nuts - the way he preys on the weak
of mind, and heart, is scintintillatingly disgusting,
those long-fanged chops are in need of a busting!

Teleandril the tormented has her sins formented
from loving the lecher of whom I've commented
She never can see that when it comes to HE
It's ever and always going to be "me, me, ME!"

But the crowning joy is the appearance of m'boy
decked in black and sneaking ever so sly
Now throw him into that mix of chicks and dicks
and Oblivion will shake at that guy's dirty tricks!!!




Good enough for you...hey...lil'ol mALX???

@ Ureniashtram - ROFL!!! Now he is a how-nee three hundred year old! ROFL !!! Thank you so much Ureniashtram! I will keep trying to horrify you if I get great comments from you for doing it!! Lol.

***
@ Foxy - Oh, I love the poem !!! That chapter was for you, because you enjoyed the thong episode Haute wrote too! (Not to mention the mysterious man that sounded...mysteriously...Foxyish!) You ROCK Foxy !!!!


Just to keep me from searching for it later, I am bumping Gils' picture up to here (also in case anyone missed it) :


http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images0...829a4cd2b0a.jpg

*


Chapter 62: Between Beast And Beast Species


In a rare flash of brilliance, Ocato came up with the idea to combine the festivities for the music festival with the celebration for Uriel Septim VII’s 87th birthday. Although the music festival began on the seventh of Frostfall and Uriel’s birthday was not till the 30th, it made sense to take advantage of the crowds already coming here.

Gils sat down next to me and pointed it out in the Courier. “Look what Ocato is doing! He’s estimated the size of the crowds coming for the music festival to be greater than the numbers that showed for the Emperor’s Birthday celebrations in the previous years, so he’s decided to hold the celebration at the same time to make it look as if he did a good job. The reason he gives is ‘to keep everyone from making two trips in the same month‘.”

“Ocato is right, for a change. More people went to Luktuv’s funeral than went to the Emperor’s Birthday celebration last year. It was a pitiful turnout. It’s Ocato’s fault, he insists on making those long speeches. Fathis said Uriel is a motivational speaker like no other, yet he did naught but thank the people for coming and sit back down. Ocato’s speech droned on so long that Uriel’s smile looked like a mask by the end it.”

“You saw him?”

“No, Fathis told me. I’ve never seen anything but a purple dot waving at the crowds.”

“He spoke truth. Uriel is charismatic…riveting. I heard him speak years ago…had he been calling men to serve under him I would have dropped everything and joined up without another thought.”

“Fathis moved to Cyrodiil from Morrowind because of a speech he heard Uriel give. He hoped one day to be of service to him.”

Gils pointed to the bottom of the Courier. “Look, it says there will be traveling carnivals setting up in Weye, wild animal exhibits and performing animal acts…”

“Did you ever compete in the goblin chases?”

“Nae, you needed a horse for that. I used to compete in the greased pig, but never caught it. Owyn says that‘s how he got Pork Chop, though.”

“I didn’t have a horse either…I caught the piglet once though, back when I was still in the orphanage. Phillida had it cooked…where are you going?”

“I’m going to show this to Owyn. Since we’re getting a percentage of the box office receipts for the Cage Match, we need to make sure we catch these crowds too. Everything is in readiness for the match, there is no sense missing out on all these people that are already here. We could make a fortune, have you seen the mezzanine lately?”

“It’s been packed! I‘ll go with you, I want to know if Jack posted our percentage of the box receipts yet.”

“He hasn’t…I’m gaining a rank before the Cage Match so my take will be higher.”

“That’s a good idea…I might too.”

“Just don’t get injured.”







***


When the wild animal exhibit set up in Weye Fathis took me to watch them perform. It was already dusk when we arrived, but they had torches set up so the crowds could view the animals in their rolling cages between the performances.

A vendor sold sacks filled with stale bread crusts to throw into the cages and feed the animals. Fathis bought me a sack and then promptly went into hysterics when my bad aim pitched the crusts on the crowd behind us instead of into the cage.

“Hey lady, watch what you’re doing!”

“Fathis, it doesn’t help that you’re laughing…it just makes my aim worse.”

“It can’t be any worse, I may be helping it.”

I pitched a crust at Fathis for saying that. Although Fathis was standing directly beside me, that crust went into the cage over eight feet to my left. The crowd around the cage roared and clapped Fathis on the shoulder.

“You got no worries if she ever becomes abusive, but the neighbors may complain.”

Fathis grinned and for the first time since leaving the Arcane I saw mischief dancing in his eyes. Something flickered inside me, a touch of the old warmth I used to feel when he was near.

“Ah, Ma'Thjizzrini Qa…now that is the look I remember seeing in your eyes.”

I flushed and turned away. “Oh look Fathis! The bear is eating the crust!”

The crowd drew in to watch the bear eat. When he finished the crust, the bear’s eyes fell on me as if the crust had just whetted his appetite. Suddenly it felt as if his eyes locked on mine, piercing into them. He made a woofing sound and his lips became droopy, loose as if tasting my scent in the air. I backed up, my fur beginning to spike. Suddenly I felt a nervousness within me…being this close to a wild beast without my sword drawn.

“Let’s go look at something else, Fathis.” I turned around quickly and bumped full force into a very large man wearing a long cloak and a cowl that obscured his face entirely.

“Please forgive me…” I nodded my head at the cowl and then grabbed Fathis’s hand and pulled him away with me. The bear began roaring and pushing himself against the bars of the cage when I turned my back. A chill ran down my spine…fear.







***


My unease carried over to the lions cages. They were restless, edgy. The male lion had been laying down, but as I approached his tail began flagging back and forth in a jerky motion. His eyes trained steadily on me almost from the moment I walked up. His fur was beginning to buff out along his spine. He rose aggressively and began pacing, his tail beating against the bars of the cage with force.

The lioness was sniffing the air, her eyes closed to barely slits. I saw the glow come from behind her eyes as her vision became thermal…and she was looking right at me. Was it bloodlust? As if I were prey? Once again I felt panic rising in me. I could smell danger in the air, it was palpable. These beasts were not tame, they were hunters…and saw me as dinner.

“Fathis…I want to leave!” I was backing away, keeping my eyes on the lioness. “I think they’ve been feeding them…Khajiit. And the bear too. I want to go, I don‘t want to see the performance…”

Fathis turned toward me, but then seemed to freeze in place. His eyes widened, but he was looking at something behind me. I turned quickly…the man in the cowl was behind me again. Fathis shook his head as if clearing it and took my arm.

Just as I turned my back to leave the male lion jumped against the bars with a roar, his teeth gnashing against the metal. The female yowled in an eerie wail that ended with a snarl…I know that sound. It was the sound that came from me when the Pits from the prison attacked me.

She charged toward the bars, but stopped before hitting them. Her fur was straight up along her spine and the sides of her face. I ran, my claws dug into Fathis’s arm…dragging him behind me. I ran dead into a makeshift fence that encircled several horses. Fathis pulled me to him and held me tightly while I hyperventilated, panicked.

“You’ve come across bear and lion before in your travels, these are no different…they are just caged.“

“No Fathis, there was danger in the air…I could feel it. And it was directed toward me. I don’t know if it was the beasts or…did you know that man in the cowl, Fathis? He was behind us at the bear cage too.”

Fathis shook his head. “No. I thought I did, but that man behind you was taller and not well…kept.”

“You mean he stunk? Body odor mixed with smoke and…festered…rotting…”

Fathis cut me off. “I thought it was the beasts till we passed him.”







***


I was just about to ask Fathis to take me home when I spotted a unicorn. It was hobbled with the performing horses and the mules that pulled the rolling cages. It looked just like the horses in Anvil, solid white like me; but with a gold horn protruding from the middle of its forehead. It was beautiful…and took from me all feelings of tension and wanting to leave.

“Oh Fathis, look! It’s a unicorn! Can we get closer?”

“There’s a man, let’s ask him.”

“These animals here aren’t on display, miss. Just them in the cages.”

“They frighten me. I’ve never seen a unicorn before except in the textbooks at school. She’s beautiful.”

“She’s just as wild as them in the cages, and as dangerous.”

“But she doesn’t want to eat me. She’s wild…but not mean, right? Unless she‘s protecting herself?”

“Aye miss. Ye’ said it true. Her name is Hrelvesuu. She’s a beast when angered, and won’t stop till she’s killed ye’ if’n you the one that got her mad. She‘ll hunt ye‘ down…”

“What does that take?”

“Drawing a sword around her will do the trick right. And there’s some people she just don’t like, right from the start.”

“How can you tell?”

“The first clue is when she tries to kill ‘em. She likes you though, just don’t be drawin’ that sword of your’n out.”

“I won’t. How can you tell she likes me?”

“You been talkin’ to me an’ she ain’t tried to kill you. I owns her, so she protects me.”

“She sure is beautiful.”

“Well thank ye’ miss.”

“My name is Maxical.”

“Well…ye’ kin call me John, that’s all ye’ need t’ know.”

It’s a pleasure to meet you John.” I put out my hand. He wiped his on unclean pants before taking mine.

“I don’t cotton to folks miss…Maxical. Ye best be getting on then.”

“Okay. Goodbye Hrelvesuu…goodbye John.”







***


“You feel better now, do you want to see the performance?”

“I guess.”

Fathis paid a man outside a large tent so we could go inside and see the beasts performing tricks. Seats were placed the outer areas with the center obviously set up for the performances. There were barrels, hoops, and stools set up on the ground…but no barrier between the props and the chairs we were sitting in…no cages? Oh dear gods!

A man in a ridiculously tall hat and fancy spangled jacket was coming in through the back flap of the tent leading the bear on a flimsy chain that would not hold a kitten, or at least that’s how it looked to me.

The scent of imminent danger was thick in the air…I thought I may suffocate any second. Suddenly it felt as if everything was moving in slow motion. I turned to Fathis meaning to ask if we could leave. At the same moment something brushed my arm…a cloak…the man in the cowl taking a seat behind me. A terrible feeling of doom…I heaved out of my chair, tipping it. It crashed to the floor silently, as if in a vacuum…then the sound of the bear roaring. The man in the tall hat shouting…people screaming, shoving toward the exit, trampling anyone in their way…the grunts of the bear as he charged toward us, his breath bursting from slackened lips that flopped spittle with each powerful lunge.

Fathis grabbed hold of me, half dragging…then jerked me up and carried me, running…the bear came off the ground and was hurtling toward the spot I had just been standing. The man in the cowl stumbled and the bear landed on top of him with a terrible roar. I clung to Fathis. He had to leave by the back flap of the tent, the bear was between us and the front flap.

Outside was pandemonium, people screaming and running in all different directions. The man in the tall hat ran out of the tent behind us yelling, “Hey Rube! Hey Rube! Hey Roo!” The flimsy chain still dangled off his hand, several links stretched and broken at the end.

His call to arms brought instant response, it seemed like people materialized out of no where and ran to the tent. The roaring could still be heard coming from inside. Fathis was looking for a way to leave without bringing me through the panicked crowd that was trampling each other in their rush to safety.

The man ‘John’ we spoke to earlier was standing with a longsword between his horse corral and the tent.

“Sir John, the bear is loose. We can’t get out the front. Is there a way out this way? Do you wish me to stand beside you and fight?” Fathis asked him.

“Nae Serjo. I’ll handle it. Cut under that fence and ye’ kin get out. Just stay away from the unicorn.”

We ducked under the make-shift fence. The horses were milling around nervously, stomping and snorting.

“Get in close, Ma'Thjizzrini Qa. Hug to their rear ends.”

“Won’t they kick?”

“Yes, but if they can’t extend their leg it can’t take your head off.”


*

Fathis and Maxical at the fair! Her aim is still as good as ever and was that a sparkle in his eyes we saw? You really painted a nice picture of Weye set up for a 'fair'. Wonderful! And a unicorn! Woohoo!

I really enjoyed that this episode focused on Maxical.

I am curious about the beasts' unrest and attacking, as I am curious about the stinky hooded man.

Chapter 61: The Thong
�That crazy vampire in the Courier� is becoming a favored remark of Vicente�s. This is the second time he has used it in conversation with one of his conquests. Vicente�s slab has to be the warmest place in the whole sanctuary! Talk about irony!

Chapter 62: Between Beast And Beast Species
When typing up this last chapter heading, I was so glad that the last word didn�t begin with an �F�.

Dare I say that it was none other than Count Hassildor that the beasts were intent on attacking! Typical of Maxical to think that everything is somehow directed at her. And do I sense some foreshadowing with that unicorn? It would be nice for Maxical to have someone that she can trust without condition.

Oh, and wasn�t Hrelvesuu the name of the Daedroth that Larienna Macrina was tracking in Morrowind?

No, not Janus - Fathis thought it was Janus at first, but the man behind her was much taller, and stunk. (of fire, body odor, festered rotting, etc.) ...it can only be Agronak :

Janus, Vicente, (and Seridur, Imbel) - etc. are all gentlmen. Their clothing is clean, of high quality material, and they bathe in scented water. (and Janus and Vicente are both of average height).





You are exactly right !!!! The Unicorn is Daedric, so I hunted for a female Daedric name. Also right: The Unicorn is a bit of foreshadowing - a huge portion of the last number of chapters is foreshadowing unless I change the script.

@ EVERYONE - The conversation of M'raaj-Dar in chapter 61 was taken 99% directly from his script

@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian !! My inspiration can be directly dated back to a certain TOURNEY !!!!!

The stinky hooded man can only be Agronak. Taller than Janus, reeking, rotting, etc. = Agronak.

I should have explained it better, when the lioness made her cry - Maxical recognized it as the same cry she heard herself make when the Pits were attacking her. Maxical was in fear of her life then...therefore the lioness was in fear for her life.

That is when Maxical began wondering if that man in the cowl had anything to do with the way the animals were acting (and he did)

***
@ Destri - Thank you so much Destri !!! I liked it the first time Vicente used it, so put it in there again - it may be his new catch phrase, ROFL !!!

I answered your queries right below your post




.... Now that you brought this up, you will be sorry ... I have a true story about this:

So, speaking of feces... I worked for a vet years ago. His office was in his home. So, I came in one day to work, and he is making himself a sandwich on the kitchen counter. He asks if I want something to eat, and I asked what he had. He said "take a look." So I walk in his kitchen and open the refrigerator. It has several fecal specimens in the fridge. I gaaked, and started to turn around to say something - and noticed that he has his bread laying on the counter, and not 8 inches away is more fecal specimens !!!! GAAAAH!!!! I nearly lost everything I didn't eat, just think if I had eaten anything !!!!

So anyway, he considered himself somewhat of a gourmet cook, and one day he made some chili. He put out bowls for everyone when we came into work. I wasn't eating mine, because I knew he had to slice the onions (etc.) on that counter. So he kept asking me why I wasn't eating it. I said I was waiting for it to cool. Well, his big german shepherd dog walks up to me and sticks her head in my bowl and starts eating the chili! So the next time the vet asked, I said - "I can't eat it now, Freda just stuck her head in it." - so the vet grabs my bowl and carries it to the kitchen...and...gaaak pours it into the pot of chili! He turns the heat up on the stove and said the heat would kill the germs !!!!!! GAAAH !!!! ROFL !!!!!

So I had to stay with a horse that flew in from Argentina and got a twisted intestine. The airport quarantine would not let the horse go to the hospital, we had to bring everything there to the quarantine station. We were there for days working on that horse. So the vet is going out to get something and asks if I want something to eat. I said, "Hell yes, I'm starving!" I figured we are at the airport mile, it is filled with fast food places. He will pick me up something from one of them. So, the vet comes back with a big piece of chicken wrapped in a paper towel. I said..."where did you get this?" He says, "I stopped by the house, I made that myself last night." Well, I'm starving, but I'm not eating that chicken! So I hid it under the straw in the stall. They had to put the horse down and do an autopsy (necropsy). It took three shots to kill the horse, he was kicking like mad - and he uncovered that piece of chicken I hid. I didn't see it. So, the vet is doing the autopsy and suddenly his eyes land on that chicken in the straw! He says, "What the hell did you do, throw out that chicken after I went and got it for you? That's homemade!" So I said, "No, the horse knocked it out of my hand, I'm not eating it after it was on the floor of the quarantine station." He got mad, picked up the chicken - in the middle of an autopsy, mind you - and handed it to me and told me to brush it off and eat it! I told him unless he wanted to be wearing my puke he could eat it himself, but please not in front of me.

So, those are my feces stories, 100% true. Of course I have more, but I'm sure you wish already you never brought it up, lol.

REMIND ME TO NEVER GO TO THAT VET'S HOUSE FOR DINNER!!! I am all for the three second rule, but the line has to be drawn somewhere! If he comes into the room and announces that he has made a lovely pate . . . RUN!!

Foxy I agree with you there. Maxical had me laughing all the way through the university chapter.

Malx I'm looking forward to Maxical adventures, amd I'm hoping to see some more pranks xD

In this day and age, that vet would never keep his license!

Yes, veterinarians have come a loooong way since then!

Kind of like the time I �saw� Hubert Humphrey during the 19-(mumble-mumble) presidential campaign.

I really like the depth you give Uriel in the opening section.

The tension around the animal cages puts me very much in mind of the carnivals and fairs from long ago.



Lots to like in this one- especially the lurking, stinky stranger.

Malx I am in awe. I've just read this story in one unbroken stretch. It's 4am in the morning, and I am not regretting it a bit. Absolutely love your work.

@ Destri - ROFL !!! "Pate? I didn't see any livers in the refrigerator!...er, why do they smell funny?" ARGH !!! EW !!!! ROFL !!! Thanks again Destri !!!

***

@ Welcome Doommeister !!!! - Thank you so much !!! I loved her time at the University too, and Foxy's poems are always great summaries of her antics highlighted! It is great to have you reading the story and enjoying it, thank you!!

***
@ Naughty Haughty - I hope so, but you get these large animal guys working out of their homes and the client never sees what goes on in there because the vet drives to their barns. It could still go on somewhere unbeknownst. I saw someone in a vet office this past month lay her cracker with cheez-whiz on it down on the scale, handle the pup, then pick it up and eat it - YECH !!! I may be a germaphobe, though. My stomach can get pretty queasy if I even think my food has touched something it shouldn't - but when I was a kid I ate dirt and grass for fun, so go figure.

Thank you so much Haute !!!

***

@ Treydog - I did a lot of research into the whole Septim line originally to do a story for a contest they were having on this site a couple years ago. (I missed the deadline, lol) I took the details of Uriel's personality from that research and used it as a basis for him in this story.

On the wild animal exhibit - I remembered being scared of them as a child when I was writing that, (long before I was evicted from the Knoxville zoo for inciting the apes).

The part about the Unicorn was planned, John was supposed to just shoo her away, but he kept talking to her as I typed it. ARGH! I liked that part too. I seem to have trouble editing, I always add more stuff instead of deleting it, lol.

Thank you so much Treydog !!!!

***

@ Welcome Doommeister !!!! - Now that's what I love to hear!!! Thank you so much !!! You ROCK for staying up all night reading it !!! That tickled me to hear !!!!

***

*


Chapter 63: Negotiating Chaos

Two people were trampled to death when a panicked crowd ran from the main tent at the Wild Animal Exhibit after the bear broke free from its trainer and attacked the crowd.

In a surprising twist, the bear was killed by a man it attacked before the handlers were able to arrive on the scene. The man left behind an appalling carnage of what once was a magnificent beast. He then fled, crashing through a stockade and causing several horses and a unicorn to escape.

When interviewed, the Carnies claimed they heard roars coming from the tent and assumed it was the bear devouring someone. In fact, the roars were emitted by the man himself as he tore the bear to pieces with his bare hands.

Witnesses described the man as very tall, malodorous, and wearing both a cloak and a cowl of dark material that obscured his features entirely.

The handlers confirmed that this bear has never had any previous incident, and felt that someone must have incited the bear to attack.

Some of the witnesses on the scene claimed that the bear originally became agitated by an albino Khajiit that was seen throwing hard crusts of bread at the poor beast while it was helpless in a cage, then laughing when it tried to eat the rock-hard projectiles.

Speculation is rampant that the white Khajiit responsible for starting the whole fiasco is none other than Blue Team Warrior Maxical, who is known to have quite a temper. We can’t imagine what the helpless bear could have done to enrage her.

One man who witnessed the abuse of the bear showed us bread crumbs in his own hair, saying she pelted the crowds with them as well.

Spectators also witnessed (Maxical) upsetting the lions in their cages, although no one could state positively whether she harmed them with the rock-hard bread.

Witnesses have also connected the white Khajiit to the man who slaughtered the innocent bear. The man was seen standing behind (Maxical) as she taunted the bear, then was seen again behind her at the lion cage. He also sat directly behind her inside the tent where the murder of the bear occurred.

From the descriptions of onlookers, it is assumed Maxical was there as a guest of Fathis Aren, Court Mage of Castle Bravil. Who is the man in the dark cowl then? We wondered as well. Our assumption is that he is a bodyguard she has hired to protect her since the assault on her by the current Grand Champion, The Gray Prince.

The Courier staff warns Agronak against any future attacks on the petite Khajiit, we saw the remains of the bear! Not a sight we ever wish to witness again.

High Chancellor Ocato has demanded an investigation into the mistreatment of the poor beasts by Maxical, and a bulletin for the immediate arrest of her bodyguard for murdering a helpless animal has been issued.

I dropped the Courier with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach…the man in the cowl was Agronak, no doubt whatsoever. Why was he following me?

Jack sent his runner for me, like I didn‘t know what that was going to be about. A match was in progress, so I had to walk around the Arena to reach the administrative entrance. Almost as soon as I stepped outside I heard the words “bear killer” and saw some tourists pointing at me. A Legionnaire was guarding the administrative entrance, he sneered at me.

“Lucky thing I wasn’t there, the bear would have you and your bodyguard for dinner instead. We’re all watching for you to slip up and take one wrong step…“

Oh dear gods…

Jack was waiting at his desk with a grim look on his face. In front of him sat a tall man…oh dear gods, it was Ocato. The best defense is a good offense…I went in there fuming like Owyn does…pretending not to see Ocato’s pin-shaped head in the chair.

“Jack, I want Hassiri up here immediately to print a retraction of this slanderous garbage! Anyone can see the man in the cowl was Agronak, since when is a stalker considered a bodyguard? Did he escape jail…again? The Legionnaire guarding your entrance just threatened me with retribution by the Legion for this, when it is obviously their lack of performing their job properly that Agronak keeps escaping to murder everyone and their pets. The carnival sold those bread crusts specifically to feed the beasts, and I was there with Fathis Aren, a highly respected diplomat. Who in their right mind would think he would stand by and do nothing if I was harming animals? As if I ever would! …Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were in a meeting. Forgive me Jack.”

Ocato stood up. “I was just leaving. I’ll speak to the Legion guarding your entrance on my way out.” He spoke stiffly to Jack, avoiding looking at me as he exited.

Jack raised his eyebrows at me, pushing his hands together in front of him. I glanced out the door, then came back in.

“He’s gone.”

“Good. I guess I should thank you for saving me from an afternoon of witnessing his interrogation of you.”

“You would have witnessed me putting my sword through him...accidentally”

Jack rolled his eyes. “No more trouble, not now with the town full up.”

I held up my hand. Ocato’s shrill voice was wafting up through the open door, he was screaming at the guard.

“I need to do some damage control Jack.”

“Talk to Andronicus. You could murder the bear in front of the Emperor, and she’d make you look sweeter than sugar. You did a good job with her makeover, by the way.”

“Thanks. I am going to Hassiri and make them print that retraction, though.”

“Hold up just a second, Maxical. Owyn needs a fighter for a Gladiator match or he‘ll have to forfeit to Haki…and you’ll have to live with the mood that will put Owyn in. Your opponent obviously will outrank you; their skill level could be a lot higher than yours, even being Alix‘s daughter. What say you, are you willing?”

“If I win the match I gain the rank of Gladiator?”

Jack nodded.

“Jack…if I make it to Gladiator before the Cage Match, will I get the same percentage Gils got last special match?”

“I can’t give out information on Gils‘ contract, you know that. Your percentage will be higher than it would be if you didn’t, and that’s all I can tell you. Look at your contract for your percentages.”

“If it’s a Gladiator match, why wouldn’t Gils take it?”

“He’s on the schedule already in a rank match to Hero, he can’t fight twice in two days right before the Cage Match. Besides, Haki said Gils would be considered a ringer.”

“A ringer!“ I snorted. "Like Haki doesn’t throw them on us constantly! Gils is smart not to give up that Hero percentage, I'll bet Owyn rode him hard to. Did you move up the date for the Cage Match?”

Jack nodded. “The night after the music festival ends.”

“I hope we still get the crowds. Did Haki approve me to fight his man?”

“He tried to throw a fit, which made him look the fool since he has the higher qualified fighter.”

“He was trying to force Owyn to forfeit the match then, because technically my rank is too low. He‘ll pull something, you know. He always does when backed in a corner. I really don‘t want to get injured before the Cage Match…or have to live with Owyn in a sulk. What fighter does he have posted for the fight?”

He had that little Breton fellow, the one that wears a sword longer than himself and a hundred year old helmet. He just came up and changed it to an Orc.”

“He knows I’m good with a sword, that’s why he pulled that Breton out. That and the Orc will probably fight with a hammer…my downfall. I hate fighting Orc. They have ten times my size and strength…their skin is tougher to slice, even on the abdomen. There is almost no where you can hurt them. It’s impossible to behead them…er…I mean… Drat! I want the extra Septims, but if I get injured I’ll lose everything. How much time do I have to think about it?”

“None.”

“ARGH! Okay, I’ll do it…I just hope I don’t regret it.”











***


Hassiri nodded when I told him I was sure the man in the cowl was Agronak stalking me.

“When Urjabhi described the scene, I knew right away. Maybe you should get a bodyguard if he‘s still following you. He is dangerous.”

“I know. Hassiri, I was hissed and booed coming here. Earlier today a Legionnaire threatened to harass me with fines. It won’t go well for me in the Arena if the crowds aren’t behind me. Your brother’s article…can you print a retraction?”

“I’ll have it out this afternoon in a special edition. I was working on it when you came.”

“If you were in my shoes, what would you do for damage control?”

“The Legion talk to everyone. Do something nice for them and they will spread it around.”

I slipped Hassiri several passes to the manager’s box. “Come see my rank match tonight if you can.”

“Rank match?”

“Owyn’s fighter was disqualified. When he weighed in he was under the influence of Skooma. Owyn threw him out of the Bloodworks. Gils has a rank match the second day of the festival, he wasn‘t giving that up.”

“I don’t blame him. I’ll be there.”







***


Andronicus and I sat down across from Jack. She motioned me to speak.

“How many unranked Legion do you think are stationed here in the Imperial City?”

“Plenty, why?”

“I want to purchase gate passes for tonight’s fight and give them to any unranked Legion.”

“You trying to get out of charges for cruelty to animals?”

“Jack, they sold me the bread crusts specifically to feed those beasts…” I caught the twinkle in his eye and realized he was teasing. “ARGH!”

He gave his pleasant laugh. “Damage control?”

“Yes. They speak to everyone, they’ll spread the word that I treated them well…and I need their cheers tonight.“

“You figure giving them a free gate pass once will do that?”

“Yeah. I lived at the compound, they get nothing usually. Every special treat sent in was always for the ranked. The unranked were naught but grunts in everyone’s eyes. Andronicus said bribery is the quickest path to loyalty. It works with the press.”

“So I noticed.’ Jack held up the Courier Special Edition, then read it. “The Not So Grand Champion. The Gray Prince has been named as the murderer of the gentle performing bear at the Wild Animal Exhibit yesterday. Blah blah…stalking Maxical since the rejection of his proposal…blah blah…assault on her shoulder…he was seen antagonizing the beasts so they would attack her…oh, and even an interview with the man that sold the stale bread crusts. Now he says the beasts love them.”

Andronicus gave me a signal.

“Since I’m buying so many passes, can I get a discount?”

“I’ll see that the cost is discounted. You just leave me a blank cheque, I’ll fill in the amount when I figure it up.”

Andronicus curled her fingers.

“Discounted by how much?”

“Two percent.”

I glanced at Andronicus. She stretched both hands out.

“Can you make it ten percent?”

“No, don’t be ridiculous!”

Andronicus scratched her bottom.

“It would help if I knew what your bottom line is.” I gave an imitation of Jack’s small smile.

“I have to eat too, you know.”

Andronicus held two fingers over her other hand.

“Give me two percent over cost?”

“Forget it.”

Andronicus gave a slight shrug of one shoulder.

“Then what?”

“What is this, you double teaming me? Seven percent over cost.”

Andronicus held three fingers over her other hand.

“You told her to train me.”

“Not on me!”

“Three percent over cost?”

“There’s the door.”

Andronicus stretched her fingers out on one hand, covering the other.

“Five?”

Jack glared at me, then exhaled loudly. “Five, but you’re not in my good books anymore, so watch your step in that Arena.”

“I’m not falling for that, you never play favorites. …Thank you, Jack.” I signed a blank cheque and handed it to him.

He shook his head with a wry smile that didn’t reach his eyes and shooed me out the door, signaling Andronicus to stay behind.

She grinned at me and waved me out. I ducked around the door jamb and leaned against the wall to wait, not necessarily meaning to eavesdrop.

“You’re doing a good job with her training, Andronicus. Don’t use me as your pigeon again though.”

“Who else do we ever deal with? I‘m going with her to hand these to the Legion, let me have a few of the Couriers from your stack to bring with us...in case any of them haven‘t read it yet.”


*

Your BHC article was marvelous. What a treat to have read Maxical's account of the incident in your last chapter, then see how the Courier viewed it here. Lethal bread missiles and Maxical's ferocious bodyguard! Is it any wonder how rumors get started?

Maxical responded however with a wonderfully clever 'offense' in Ocato's presense. You go, girl!!!

The kitty was smart enough also to get the paper to run a retraction; her time spent cultivating the BHC kitties in the past was time well-spent that paid off here.

I love how you so efficiently handled the second BHC article. Having Jack simply blah blah summarize the highlights was brilliant. You wisely avoided shifting the BHC spotlight from your first magnificently done article.

Well-done, mALX!

That first BHC article made me absolutely furious! Call that journalism????

Then I blessed Hassiri for printing that lovely retraction. Yay!

I had guessed that stinky figure was Aggie. I have a hard time imagining Janus smelling like an abattoir.

Large animal vets nowadays mostly work out of clinics. But yes, vet techs and assistants still have a long road to hoe when it comes to OSHA standard hygiene. Old habits really do die hard, you know.

Like haute, I was boiling over the "journalism" in the first BHC- which shows how effective a piece of writing it was!

And I loved Maxical's ability to quickly counter the bad publicity, along with her "negotiations" in Jack's office.

This upcoming match has me a bit concerned- I don't trust Haki at all.

@ Acadian - Thank you so much!!! That slant on the BHC was a comment on the media today, and how they push their own agenda sometimes - anyone can take even the most innocent of actions and make them look bad by using true facts and skewing the bias placed on those facts.

Usually it would be two papers competing against each other. I could have used my imagination and cooked up a competative newspaper, but decided against it. She may think she is cultivating all the kitties, but they may not look at it the same way.
*
The scene with Ocato, she mentions "Going in there fuming like Owyn does" - I didn't phrase that the way I wanted to (avoiding using "Pretend" twice in one sentence/paragraph). I wanted it to read:
"Going in there pretending to fume like Owyn does."

What I was trying to show was that Owyn's rants aren't always an A-type personality blowing - some of them are staged for the resultant effect. Owyn is a brilliant man...he keeps what he doesn't want seen hidden below a gruff exterior.

I found a better way to show it in the upcoming chapter so left that paragraph as it stood.

Thank you so much Acadian!!! You ROCK! Hope your Dad is well!

***
@ Naughty Haute - Thank you so much Haute!!! (I had to look up that word!! Lol.) - but you are right, Janus smells too good.

I hoped my hints were strong enough that it was Aggie to come across, trying never to forget the lesson of the clear jar of yellow fluid in the original story that everyone thought was Maxical's pee Manheim had squeezed from her greaves, lol. I'm tickled you picked up on that!!!!

I haven't been to Miami in too long to know how large animal Vets do it these days there. They used to carry a trunkful (or truck with those locking cabinets in the bed) full of anything they may need and drive to the farms, horse racetracks, etc. so they could treat multiple animals in one trip. The farms was monthly or if called, but the horse racetrack they just showed up daily and drove barn to barn. Not a day goes by a Vet isn't needed there for something.

***
@ Treydog - Thank you so very much Treydog!!! I was really worried about not putting more tags on those negotiations, afraid it wouldn't come across who was saying what - I'm so glad it worked out!

Between Andronicus and Hassiri, Maxical is getting some good lessons...she actually realized she needed to do damage control this time instead of blithely walking around without realizing there was a problem. You ROCK!!!

Now, let's see what she can do to counter Haki...

*


Chapter 64: Monkey Business



I pushed my way through the crowds on the mezzanine to await the final posting of who my opponent would be, glancing at the board intermittently as I scanned all the new booths set up for the Emperor’s Birthday celebration.

The smells of exotic foods permeated the area, drawing me to each food booth to see what could cause that aroma. With a fight scheduled I couldn’t eat…but the temptation was too great to stand when I found a booth that sold apples covered in a sticky caramel. The girl wrapped wax paper around it for me when I told her I couldn’t eat it right away. I tucked it into my pack, the smell of hot caramel wafting from it making me heady with desire to taste it.

An odd sounding music was drifting across the mezzanine, similar to the sound of the calliope on wheels that played outside the carnivals and performing animal shows. I followed the sound to a chubby man in a bright red uniform with a box strapped to his chest.

He was rapidly turning a crank on one side of the box to make the musical sounds, his thickly waxed moustache wiggling wildly with each movement. As if that were not exciting enough, I was startled to see a tiny beast wearing the same bright red uniform and a red fez hat with gold tassels was dancing on his shoulders to the music.

The man was scanning the crowds, and every now and then he would point to someone and the tiny beast would leap off his shoulder and onto that person. People were giving Septims to the beast and it was taking them to the chubby man, who would immediately pocket them.

“What kind of beast is that? It brings me joy to see him dance!”

“That’s a monkey, lady. Ain’t you ever seen a monkey before?”

I shook my head no, laughing and clapping as it flew through the air and landed on a passerby.

“Look, he is doing tricks for Septims! How smart he is! Will he eat a strawberry? Does he have a name?”

“His name is Coco.” He pointed to the gold lettering on the box that read ‘Tony and Coco. “Er…he prefers Septims.”

“You mean you prefer them. I’ll give you a Septim if I can give him a strawberry.”

Tony pointed to me and Coco leaped over to my shoulder, taking the strawberry and sitting on his haunches to nibble it. Coco planted a wet kiss on my cheek after the man gave him a signal.

“There can’t be anything so cute! Here then Sir Tony, here is a Septim for you.” I gave it to Coco. He leaped back to Tony, who instantly pocketed it.

I dug in my pack for more Septims and treats, following the man as he walked the mezzanine. Every time I pulled a Septim out Tony sent Coco to retrieve it. Each time Coco ate the treat and thanked me for it with a kiss. I was enthralled.







***


At one end of the mezzanine a lightweight cage was set up, filled with monkeys of all different sizes. As the chubby man playing the music neared , they all began leaping up and down and shrieking excitedly.

It stunned me to watch them swinging across the top of the cage, grasping the bars with their feet…and their tails! I was mesmerized and stood gaping like a loon, finding it hard to tear myself from their antics. I dug the last bit of fruit out of my pack and reached in the bars to give it. It was snatched quickly and with a lot of shrieking.

One long hairy arm extended through the lightweight structure and touched the fur on my arm, the cupped hand sliding palm up along the inside of my arm to my cheek.

“Hello little fella…aren’t you cute!” I crooned to the rubbery face.

It stuck a dirty finger in the corner of my mouth, and when I pulled away the gnarled fingernail scratched against my lip.

“Ow!“ Good gods, I better drink a cure potion…

The little beast touched the finger to his own mouth and made a whimpering sound, rubbing a loosely cupped hand and wrist upside down under its chin.

“I’m sorry, did I frighten you? I’m sorry.” I knelt down and let the monkey touch the fur of my arm again. It scratched gently through my thin fur as if looking for fleas…making me wonder if the monkeys were infested.

When I crouched down the other monkeys in the cage set up a shriek, swinging wildly across the cage. It rocked and tipped from their vigorous movements.

“I’m all out of fruit…except this apple covered in caramel…well, I guess you can have some of it.” I took a bite of it, then pulled the piece I bit off out of my mouth and gave it to the monkey that was touching my arm.

An all-out ruckus ensued. Other monkeys attacked the one with the treat, and grabbed the bars of the cage, rocking it and shrieking at me. I quickly bit off more pieces, throwing them into the cage. When the caramel apple was gone I backed away.

As I moved back, the one I had let touch my fur stretched his hand through the bars as far as it would reach toward me and began a wailing shriek. The other monkeys set upon him, the lightweight cage rocking from their wild swinging. These larger monkeys were not as cute and friendly as the tiny one that danced on the man’s shoulders.

I hurried away, checking the board on my way to the Bloodworks. It still showed the Orc as my opponent. I drank a cure potion as soon as I got back, just in case the monkeys carried disease.







***


Just as predicted, Haki pulled something just before we were supposed to head up the chute for the match. Jack’s runner banged on the door and gave the message to Owyn. He was fuming, so I hurried over.

“Oh thank goodness!“ I breathed a sigh of relief.

“What are you, an idiot or something? There’s three of them, every one of them above you in rank!”

“This is a break for me, Owyn. They’re prisoners, they aren’t allowed to carry a weapon. Even if they’ve fought before, they are untrained. Haki had me up against a fully trained Orc, you know I can’t fight Orc. They are ten times my size and strength, and have to be almost sawed through their skin is so tough. They have no weak points, I’d get hit with a hundred pound hammer and the Cage Match would have to be cancelled.”

“Well if Haki doesn’t see me storm up there shouting, he’ll know you want the switch and bring back the Orc. I’ll have to lock Jack’s door and stay in his office shouting till it’s too late for Haki to change fighters.” Owyn held his hand out, palm up.

“Thank you Owyn.” I slid him ten Septims.

Owyn looked poignantly down at his still open hand with a sour expression. “I’m going to have to shirk all my duties here while I’m up there shouting at Jack…for you. There’s still plenty of time for Haki to change fighters, you know…“

I added another ten Septims. “Owyn, if anyone loves a reason to shout for thirty minutes it is you. And the only duty you are shirking right now is getting me prepped for the fight. Andronicus can do that.”

His hand remained out. “My throat feels a little sore…”

I showed him my purse. “You see this is all I have left?” I took the last five Septims and a bottle of healing potion and plopped them into his hand.

“What’s that for?”

“Your throat or Jack’s headache from all your yelling…”

“Wait a minute! What the hell happened to all the advance pay you drew this morning?” Owyn demanded loudly, proving there was nothing wrong with his throat.

“I gave it all to a man with a monkey dancing on his shoulder.”

“Fine! Don’t tell me then. Geez, I’m doing you a favor here!”

“That scowl is perfect Owyn, keep it on your face all the way to Jack’s office in case Haki sees you.”

Owyn stormed out, grumbling under his breath. I hoped Owyn could keep Jack’s office tied up so it would appear to Haki as if he was fighting hard to not allow the prisoners…but poor Jack, I really was going to be in his black books now.







***


The signal came to enter the chute for my match, Owyn was still not back from Jack’s office, I had no idea who I would be facing when I entered the hold. The first thing I spotted was an Argonian in sackcloth pants. Oh thank goodness! I saw a lot of Legion armor and uniforms in the crowds, too…good.

To get the crowds hyped up and behind me again, I did something I hadn’t done since I was a Pit. I leaped up on the bars of the gate, raising an arm high and circling it while whooping to stir the excitement. They cheered, and on the spur of the moment I started swinging in what I thought was a pretty good imitation of the monkeys I’d seen earlier.

The gate was too sturdy to rock from my exertions like the monkey cage did, but the crowd did notice my antics and responded with an outburst of cheering and stomping feet. I climbed to the top of the gate so my head and upper torso could clearly be seen by the prisoners in the opposite hold. Locking my legs under the top bar, I raised both hands straight up in the air, circling them and whooping.

It worked. The crowds started going wild, screaming and stomping their feet continuously in a cadenced beat. I pulled myself up to a stand on the top bar and raised my arms to the sky again, whooping. Again the crowd answered, screaming and stomping. This time I did a little dance across the top bar, timing my movements to the cadenced sound of their feet stomping while making my tail dance like a cobra behind me.

With this huge a crowd, the screaming and thunder of their feet was so loud that Wes Johnson had to call several times before I heard him tell me to get back in the hold. When I did, I went back to swinging from the bars like I had seen the monkeys do. The whole time I kept my tail dancing like a snake and whooped as loud as I could.

Somehow over the screaming crowds I heard it, an eerie wail followed by what sounded like a war of angry shrieks. I looked up at the mezzanine and saw the monkey cage rocking wildly, the beasts were going berserk in it.

Just as Wes Johnson called ‘Lower The Gates’ the monkey cage tipped over and could no longer be seen sticking above the half-wall of the mezzanine. A loud crash and screams sounded. People were running panicked, shoving each other…they began tumbling over the railings to the grandstand areas below.

Monkeys began swinging off the balconies and dropping down from the mezzanine…oh [censored], the monkeys are loose! Several of the monkeys balanced themselves on top of the chute gates doing odd cadenced…dancelike movements, their arms circling in the air and shrieking…their tails dancing…swinging on the bars…oh dear gods! Is that what I looked like? Are they imitating me? Oh dear gods…

There was no time to worry about that, the prisoners were charging across the Arena at me while I stood in the chute like a dummy.

The prisoners had reached the chute already, I was cornered and had to use my ‘Eye of Khajiit’ to get out of there. It was my fault for being distracted, and it was a huge disadvantage to not have it to fall back on later in the fight.

I drew my sword and charged out of the chute behind them, all the while distracted by the shrieks and panic coming from the mezzanine and the uneasy feeling the monkeys‘ actions had something to do with me.


*

All the large animal vets still have everything they need except for major surgery in their trucks. Most just don't work out of their homes as much anymore. Too many regulations and liabilities these days. So they work out of clinics and stock their trucks every day.

Back to your story, all I can say is this:
Yes, my dear Maxical, they certainly do!

Maxical has something in common with Mrs. Treydog! I once had to stop her from walking into traffic when she was eating a caramel apple.

The whole chapter, with Maxical being enchanted by Coco and then accidentally inciting the other monkeys, was brilliant. Why do I have a feeling that there is something more going on there...?

So what's all the fuss about? Why, I always knew our mALX had monkey DNA in her!!!

What? GAAAAAH !!!!

As do we all! After all, we share over 90% of our genome with our buddy the chimpanzee. Come to think of it, that explains a lot of things . . .

And here I always thought hairy knuckles came from.........

And here EYE was thinking hairy knuckles was the halfwit brother of harry potter!!!

You were only half right...

@ Naughty Haute - Thank you so much Haute!!!



SPEW! ROFL !!!! I laughed every time I saw this since you posted it!!!

Oh, I see what you mean about the clinics - the vet I worked for had a trailer near the racetrack to stock up on equipment without going all the way back to his house - it was broken into frequently, and the insurance companies quit covering it after so many claims.

***
@ Trey dog - I actually do have a weakness for carnival treats, candy apples, caramel apples, cotton candy, etc. ARGH! Don�t let Mrs. Treydog walk into traffic over them though!!!!

I was very tempted on these monkeys, and even looked up on the internet for pics of fat monkeys�but couldn�t find one I liked well enough yet to make Maxical a monkey pet, ROFL !!!!! All the obese monkey sites had were blonde spider monkeys�

Thank you so much Trey dog !!!!

***
@ Foxy - ARGH!!!! Thank you so much Foxy !!!

***
@ Foxy/Haute/Foxy/Haute - ARGH !!!!

*


Chapter 65: The Great Ape Rebellion


That these men had fought together before was obvious by the teamwork they displayed when they cornered me in the chute. The spell to frighten them must have expired, their movements changed…separating, positioning to converge from all directions like wolves do to take down large prey.

The prisoner closest to me was running in a zigzag pattern, trying to get far enough away to circle back and get behind me. Cat’s vision is based on movement, it was easy to time one of his zags and leap forward. I grabbed his tail with my claws to hold on, then drove my sword into his back just above his right hip.

While he staggered bellowing I grabbed his tail again, this time thrusting my blade through his neck in one swift movement, severing the main arteries. The blood that shot out of him in pulsing streams was an odd greenish-orange color. Like an idiot I gaped at it instead of getting into position for the next battle.

A powerful blow from behind staggered me, surprising a whimper from me. I ran blindly away from the direction the hit came from, unable to see through the patterns of bursting stars floating in my vision from the hit. A loud shriek followed by screams and a scuffling sounded behind me as I ran.

My sword crunched against a stone abutment a split second before I crashed into the structure, nearly dislodging the blade from my hand. I gripped the hilt tightly and pushed myself around so my back was pressed against the stone, moving my sword in a defensive pattern in front of me while I waited for my vision to clear. Where are they?

A good sized knot had already formed on the back of my head from the prisoner’s fist, every pulse in my veins made that place throb till nausea began welling up into my throat. If I didn’t know the prisoners were searched before matches, I’d suspect him of using brass knuckles on me. The darkness hedging my vision began receding, giving me a tunnel-like view of the Arena floor through the flashes of light still floating across.

As my vision cleared I saw one of the prisoners running across the Arena followed by a bunch of monkeys. No longer the cute little beasts in a cage, they now had their lips drawn back revealing mouthfuls of sharp teeth and canine type fangs. They pounded their fists on the ground and their chests, barking and whooping as they chased the prisoner. Pork Chop was in a frenzy, charging around his pen and grunting loudly.

How can we fight with beasts in here? Will they call the match? I glanced up, Jack was leaning over watching from his vantage chair.

Where was the other prisoner? I moved along the wall glancing into alcoves. Where did he go? The prisoner running from the monkeys was coming my way, the look of terror on his face was worse than what my ‘Eye of Khajiit’ caused. I stayed in the alcove till he got closer and then charged out.

He skidded to a stop when he saw me. The monkeys leaped onto his back and head, shrieking loudly. The prisoner let out a high-pitched scream that sounded like a girl. He twisted, trying to shake them off as a dark spot began staining the front of his sackcloth pants. He was peeing himself! He dropped to the ground and began rolling and screaming, trying to get the monkeys off him. The prisoner’s pants had a matching stain in the back, a large circle of brown…dear gods, he crapped himself!






***


The sounds of screaming and panic were still coming from the stands, there must be apes loose up there too. These monkeys had begun tugging on the Argonian’s legs and tail, and grabbing the spikes sticking out of his head. They didn’t appear to be hurting him, but his fear of the beasts was so great that he was screaming horribly.

What if the monkeys attacked me next? If I got injured out here today there would be no crowd cheering me to bring my adrenalin back up…no Cage Match. Why wasn’t Jack stopping the fight? I glanced up, he was still watching without signaling. What is he waiting for?

How could I fight a man wallowing on the ground? That wouldn’t be a fight, it would be a slaughter. Where had the other prisoner gone? Had he escaped in the melee following the monkeys getting loose? I did a grid search of the Arena floor, he was absolutely not there at all. As I was passing a chute gate, a familiar sound caught my ear. I glanced up, spotting a tiny red figure climbing around the top bar of the gate.

“Coco!” I reached my arm up.

Coco made a chattering sound and leaped off the gate, landing on my shoulder. He was trembling and clutched my hair tightly. Jack leaned over, his eyes nearly starting from his head in surprise when Coco jumped on me.

Jack shook his head no when I shrugged at him. Drat! How could he not call the fight? Did he expect me to get the monkeys off the prisoner so he would fight? These other monkeys were a lot larger than Coco, would it be safe to draw their attention to me?

“Here monkey, monkey, monk…here monkeys…” I made a kissing sound with my mouth. The one that rubbed my arm earlier came when I made that sound, at least I think it was him. What should I do now? I glanced around, then stretched my hand toward it. Where were the handlers?

The monkey grabbed hold of my arm and swung itself up onto my back, wrapping its arms around my neck tightly and clinging like that. Coco climbed atop my head, still clutching tufts of my hair to hold on.

I kicked the prisoner in the leg. “Get up! Jack is refusing to end the fight. I’ve got two monkeys on me too, let’s get this over with.”

He just lay there screaming. “GAAAAAAAH!”

“Shut up! Will you stand up so we can fight?” I kicked him again. The other monkeys began kicking him and chattering.

“GAAAAAH! BWAAAAAA!”

“Shut up! You’re ticking me off, now get up…good gods your crap stinks, what have you been eating?”

I glanced up at Jack again, he still wasn’t calling the match. As I was lowering my head a slight movement on one of the pillars caught the corner of my eye. The other prisoner! He had climbed to the top of one of the pillars in the center of the Arena. So that’s why Jack hadn’t called the fight!









***


I called up to Jack, pointing to the top of the pillar. Jack nodded. The monkeys thought I had signaled them. They leaped down off my back and began shimmying up the column. With loud shrieking and some last thumps and kicks on the Argonian, the other monkeys followed suit climbing up the pillars.

“The monkeys are gone now, you can get up. Come on!” I kicked the prisoner again. I can’t kill you while you lay there…man, will you just get up so I can kill you? How’d you ever make it in prison?”

The prisoner refused to get up and fight. I shrugged at Jack again, pointing to the pillar where the other prisoner was hiding. Coco and the other monkey had climbed onto his back and were jumping up and down on him and shrieking, their arms raised up in the air. The prisoner was curled in a ball, keeping his head covered.

Jack signaled Wes, who called out a warning to Haki. His combatants were ordered to fight or Haki would forfeit the match. Haki came bellowing out of his chute, cursing his men. I gasped; he’s not allowed out here during a match! He kicked the one on the ground several times, shouting. The man wouldn’t get up.

Haki‘s face turned purple. He ordered the one on the pillar to come down. When that prisoner didn’t budge Haki gave Jack the signal requesting permission to substitute one fighter for another. After all this he was going to bring the Orc out on me? I watched Jack closely, pleading. He shook his head no. Thank goodness!

Haki was livid and tried to climb the pillar to dislodge his fighter. The monkeys saw him coming. Their jumping and shrieking became frenzied. Then they began throwing something at Haki, hitting him in the face. The stench left no doubt what it was.

“Oh you [censored] [censored] [censored]! I’ll kill you, you little [censored] [censored] [censored]!” Haki’s curses echoed loudly off the stone walls of the Arena.

I raised my eyebrows at Jack, he gave me citations for cussing out here! The larger monkey threw another piece of feces at Haki. Jack’s lips quirked slightly as he signaled Wes Johnson to call the match and what infractions to name.

The grandstand and mezzanine were almost completely empty. Wes Johnson‘s voice echoed back oddly out of them as I waited for him to give me permission to leave the Arena floor.

“Match called! Yellow Team forfeit! Three citations: combatant refusing to fight, two counts; foul language; unauthorized personnel: Battlemaster Haki. Good people, we have a winner! All hail the combatant from the Blue Team! Victor from the Blue Team, congratulations! You have advanced to the rank of Gladiator! Leave the Arena now and rest, you've earned it!”

Owyn was dancing around hooting and laughing when I got back inside the Bloodworks. “I can’t wait till Haki shows his face next! BWAAAHAAA! Monkey [censored] in his face, having to forfeit the match, three citations! BWAAAHAAA!”

Everyone on the Blue team crowded around for Owyn’s version of a rank promotion ceremony. He poured himself a brandy and passed the bottle around for everyone to pour themselves a cup.

I tagged Andronicus’s arm as she pulled up a chair to listen to the details of the fight. “One of them [censored] and [censored] his pants out there.”

“BWAAAAHAAAA!” Everyone roared.

I glanced at Gils and he smiled at me. My damned heart betrayed me by missing a beat.

Owyn raised his snifter to me. “I’m proud of you for keeping your mind on the fight with all that going on, [censored] wild beasts. It’ll be tonight before you get your belt, they closed the Arena to capture them …but for right now…here’s to you, Gladiator. He drained his snifter.

“Here, here!” The rest of the team shouted, then drained their cups of brandy. I watched Gils drink his, dreading the weakness in me that craved the scent of his breath when it was laced with that brandy.











***


Jack scowled as he handed me my Gladiator belt. What had I done?

“What was the idea of sending Owyn up here to lock me in my office and yell at me for over half an hour? Shouting about the prisoners then signaling me no each time I mentioned getting Haki in to change…”

“We had to so Haki would think we didn’t want the prisoners. Otherwise he would have switched back to the Orc, and I can’t fight Orc.”

“And you didn’t think telling me that in my office good enough? Owyn locking me in here yelling nearly made me mad enough to call Haki in and order him to switch back to the Orc! And that healing potion joke!”

“That was no joke, I thought Owyn’s yelling may cause your head to ache…”

“It did! From now on, if you tell me you can’t fight someone…trust me to handle it! You ever send Owyn to me like that again and I’ll make sure Haki brings an Orc to the fight. Why do you think he changed from the Orc at the last minute?”

“What? I don’t understand…”

“I reminded him of the trouble Agronak caused you…and then told him the truth, that you took the challenge as soon as you heard he had posted an Orc. He left here with the impression you relished the idea of revenge on any Orc. He made a hurried trip to the jail to get those prisoners at the last minute.”

“You did that for me?”

“No. I do that for any fighter that comes to me as you did and says outright that they can’t fight a certain one. The fights are geared to be fair, not slaughters. Next time put your trust in me to handle it. Don’t involve me if you’re resorting to tricks. Did you pay Owyn?”

“Twenty-five Septims.”

“Consider it a lesson.”

“I will. I‘m sorry.”

“That monkey fiasco, was that another trick?”

“No! I had nothing to do with that!”

“They came right to you.”

“I have fur…they must have thought I was kin. Jack, I was nowhere near…the cage was very light and tipped…”






***


I slept well that night, but Gils’ hysterical laughter woke me early the next morning. He shoved the Courier under my nose, pointing to the headlines.

“Ape Woman! Oh!” I snatched the paper.

“And look at these drawings…” Gils pointed to page two.

“Oh dear gods…”

The page heading read, “Maxical’s Monkeyshines.” They were little cartoons. One was of me with a monkey sitting on my head and another monkey clinging to my neck, my sword thrust forward as I yelled “Charge“…an army of angry monkeys behind me ready to do battle for me…oh dear gods.

The next was of me swinging on the chute gate, a group of monkeys standing on the ground watching and scratching their heads as if I was teaching them how…

The next drawing showed me dancing atop the gate with a long row of monkeys behind me obviously imitating my dance.

The next cartoon showed me kicking a man on the ground. The monkeys all stood watching me, their hands to their chins like they were thinking. They all had studious looks on their faces…like I was teaching them how to kick someone.

Another showed me standing on the gate, hands raised to the sky with little circles showing movement…the bubble in front of my mouth said “Ooh ooh.” All the pillars had two monkeys each on them, imitating me with their hands up in the air circling - but they were speaking words! “Hey Joe, where’re we going next?” Another monkey answers, “Bruma.” Another monkey says “Pack a coat, I hear it’s cold there.” Another monkey asks when the fight will be over…another says, “I’m hungry, did you bring any fruit?” …Oh dear gods how humiliating!



*

Good to find out Jack tries to run a fair- um, murderous, savage, brutal, blood-letting establishment... Wait, that didn't come out right.

The monkeys were (of course) another bit of inspired mALX madness, as was the BHC.