Hmm...... *wonders if he could help with that setting*

Sorry, I should note that I did read your latest little "Wings of Light" sampler. Definitely some good stuff ya got there, jack. That ending really drives in the emotion that this emotionless creature finally exudes. Looks like you're going to have lots of interesting angles to work with on this major project of yours.

Ok, I've decided what setting to use for this next fan-fic. I'll use the setting of the Mandalorian Wars and that of the Jedi Civil War featured in KOTOR itself. It won't have too many spoilers regarding the storyline of KOTOR since the two won't have much connections with each other.

God damn Black Hand, it's [censored]-ing brilliant. Gorgeous. Like... walking in a great forest of pines with rays of bright sunshine illuminating the darkness.

That good, eh? Well, i was trying to sound Kirkbride-ian, and it does borrow a lot from the sermons.

Nice letter there, Canis! Far more passionate than my latest submission. Does not passion, desire, and longing, have a way of masking the world?

That is some excellent work, Canis. You just have this...voice...that goes beyond style. Pure poetic genius. I tip my doggie ears to you.

Black Hand, that does indeed sound a lot like the sermons. Same strange expressions and all. Really neat. That assassin must have put a lot of thought into his words. Odd phrases like that don't just come from nowhere.

Canis, I don't really know what was going on, but I liked it all the same. As Treydog said, it was poetic.
So um, is the woman our guy speaks of dead or something? It sounds like he's lost in memories and all.

No, definitely not dead. It's really about jumping from memory and reverie to action. Memory is wonderful, but hollow if it becomes only a memory. I struggle with this.

And thanks for the praise, gents. "Pure poetic genius," is high praise indeed, as I feel like I've always struggled while trying to write poems. Poetic prose... I guess I can do.

Okay, I just found this when I was searching the forums for something to read. I would definitly be interested in joining. I think I'd just be an apprentice for now, but anyways Black this was a really good idea.

Hmm. Most of the Members Submissions have waned quite a bit over the last couple of years. But if you want to see it revived, I'll match you entry for entry.

Canis, sounds like quite an experience you had there~! If one truly loves the outdoors. I guess you have to love everything about it!

Canis, you again please and amaze with your gift for description. The thing is, you show rather than tell. As I lost myself in the narrative, I was on that mountain with you, feeling the bite and pull of the saw, the hard splat of the cold rain.... A beautiful moment, beautifully revealed.

Thank you very much, treydog. A high compliment from a gifted writer.

Lo, but I love those mountains. All desert mountains really, but especially those. A different world.

Nature lover describes,
Story lover listens,
Loving descriptions of nature.

Maybe not quite a haiku....

Pre-emptive explication for my Temple post today:

The Zia have nothing to do with established TES lore on Yokuda. Rather, they are a Pueblo community in the American Southwest. The little poem is an actual Zia lament, which I have quoted word-for-word from Edward Abbey's fine book, Desert Solitaire. Another of my big influences.

Hm, is it okay for me to post here, as I am not technically a member of this fine Order? Only I do want to comment on canis' little ditty.

Anyways, that was quite the teaser, wasn't it? Without doubt it piqued my interest in this trapped fellow, accomplishing its intended objective with much gusto. If I could suggest anything (which is rather difficult, since this is already a more than competent bit) it might be to emphasize the window even further as a symbol for this trapped soul's salvation. It is an apt icon, and I think you could get even more use out of it, if you wanted to. My thoughts only, however, I don't want to impinge on your creation.

One thing further, the penultimate line:


I hesitate to call that crass - because it really isn't - but to my mind it detracts somewhat from the otherwise poetic prose feel that you seem to be striving for. :Shrugs:

Penny for your thoughts?

That line is a bit tricky. Probably try to find a way to rephrase it. But the finished piece is going to be, after all, a love story.

There will almost certainly be more on the window in the end game. This character's stint in the tower is going to be more than a single short letter, I think. Actually, I have little idea how long the whole work is going to be, aside from pretty long. Maybe not Trey long, but considering that I don't have a game plot to riff off of, I think this will go a long ways.

And you are absolutely welcome to post here. And in the Temple of Lore, too, if you have any little bits that don't fit elsewhere. I think I've posted the last 5 in a row there. I think the Temple of Lore is great and should have more action. One more thing: join the Order! Just give yourself a title! It's great. In fact, I think I'll change my rank to "Bard" right now.

I'm somewhat confused. Is this for TES stuff only? I ask because I've been working on magic concept for Avlarians, a race in my world of Teir.

For exactitude, I didn't mean you shouldn't include the content of the phrase, just rephrase it like you said you will. I think the attitude of that bit fits perfectly, just the delivery needed some work - which you clearly saw.

And I shall join, actually, thanks for the invitation! I bequeath unto myself the rank of Storyteller!

It's not TES exclusive. It's for short work--little bits of storytelling, I suppose. Make of it what you will. I've put nonfiction in here, but I think it works because I'm still telling a sort of story, weaving a world in words. But make of it what you will.

Woo... fun stuff there, darkynd. Consistently amusing. I would quibble with word choice and typos (?) here and there, but I love how it all flows together. Did you ever study psychology? You've got me curious now.

Yes, there were instances where I debated over what word to use, and ended up going with maybe one over the other, but generally I was trying for the feel of this strange observer slowly lowering his own facade of professionalism to reveal...sort of a monster, I guess. I imagine the narrator as a undergrad student getting more and more comfortable with his subject, hehe.

As for the typos, there are almost certainly a lot. Some were intentional. I wanted it to feel like thoughts, so it would have to be a bit more herky-jerky but also occasionally run on incessantly.

Enough justification though, there are plenty of instances where argument is warranted.

And, for the record, no, I have never taken psychology. Still waiting to graduate and get to college so I can look into that.

Blackie, your last work shows you're really talented, it's a sheer pleasure to read whatever you put down on paper or a pc..

Continue to share , please do, I just love your writing!

Hey can anyone post something on the writer's guild? It's fine if you can't I was just wondering if you have to ask to join or something.

You are free to join and post at your own discretion, Illydoor, though if you want to consider this post a formal "invitation", by all means do so.

Here's an old piece of mine, something I had once submitted to TR long ago. It's not much and it's very short, but I'm quite partial to the story for some reason. *shrug*

Also, I just realized that I dip into past tense during the last few paragraphs. I know that's usually bad, but I think it works in this story. Please tell me if I'm right.

A Flower's Reflection


As I sat there under the shade of the flower tree, a flower petal falls and lands in the middle of my opened book. It just now occurs to me that I have not done such a thing in quite some time. The petals on the flower, all of them still intact, remind me of the great agony I’ve had to endure over the past ten or so years. It’s something I that don’t like to talk about, yet now here I am, unable to think of anything but those pains that will never truly leave.

Ever since that fateful day with the Fall of the final Dagger, I’ve left the place I once called home in search of a new land, searching for a conclusion to the severing pain that has tortured my soul the second King Gothryd claimed victory-- crowned right on the battlefield after his father had been slain by one of our archers-- over my brethren and I at Cryngaine Field. I had been there when the foggy mist had wrapped around our entire Sentinel army, and I had been still standing once the mist cleared and the duel between the two kings was about to take place. Thanks to the cowardly back-stabbing of the newly-declared King, our great Camaron was slain before the duel ever started. After the battle I left Sentinel without any belongings but a blade and the book I was reading just a few seconds ago. The pain of defeat had been too much for me, and I simply could not stay.

I’ve been through the most dangerous of mountains and I’ve trekked across the wildest of rivers, to at last find my place in a city by the name of Elinhir. Here I’ve found that solitude that I have been so desperately seeking. Through the Falls of Karnver, to the plains of southern Stonedale, and finally at the cool grasslands of Elinhir, I’ve at last arrived at the place that I can call home. A few of the people here thus far have been rather warming, requesting that I eat dinner in their houses and tell stories to their children. Yes, some have treated me with utmost respect, but yet I can sense something else as well from most of the others. It is contempt, a disapproval of my falling out with the Sentinel Army. I can’t say that I blame them, for they can very well call me a coward and there is nothing I can do about it. I did indeed leave the brethren I had fought with and survived with. But…I left because of the brethren had seen fall that disastrous day.

These people of Elinhir, they do not know what it was like as a soldier, at least not one o the mighty Sentinel. They did not see the countless number of bodies fall to the ground, most of them having died before hitting the ground, but the unlucky having suffered before their pains were eternally extinguished. They cannot possibly know what it was like, yet they still judge me as if they’ve always known me. How can this be? How can I be treated so unfairly when I fought so passionately to preserve what I once adored? But…Sentinel is no longer my home, so perhaps I should ignore these people that are trying to bring me down. Though such a sad thought depresses me, it must be true. For my old friends have yet to call upon me, asking me to come home. It is quite possible that these friends decided upon leaving Sentinel, just as I did. Perhaps the pain was too much to bear, just as it had been for me.

Rain is starting to pour down from the skies, but not nearly enough to for me to care. A soldier of Elinhir walks from the city gates, holding his long spear with the tightest of grips. I can tell he wishes not to speak with me, but for some odd reason he does.

“Sir, it is beginning to rain. I think it would be best for you to come inside our city. The walls of the tavern can protect you.”

I did not answer immediately. Rather, I closed the book, with the petal still inside, and then spotted a long and wide piece of wood that had somehow chipped off of the tree. I placed the book on top of the wood and then set the wood into the slender river to my immediate right. I watched it drift along the stream for almost a full minute, and then the soldier asked, “Is everything alright, sir?”

I looked back at him, his young face staring at me with sheer perplexity. And then I answered his question, with the gentlest tone I think he’s ever heard outside of his mother. “Today, tears fall faster than rain.”

Thanks Redsrock, I'm happy to be a humble apprentice of this Order.

So where would one post their little parables and yarns and whatnot? Is it on this thread or the other one?

You're welcome to post Here!

Huh?

Also, @ Canis or Minque or whoever: Was I not supposed to post in this thread?

Ehh nope, not really, we have a special thread for the works of the Schola! Follow the link in my previous post!

I'll move your work, don't worry....

Sowwy.

Sorry Redsrock, I meant to say that to Canis.

That's what I thought. I just wasn't sure.

Canis216-

Your latest offering is certainly pleasing to me- and I imagine the good of writers will find it so, as well.

You provide enough detail to allow the reader to visualize and otherwise sense what the protagonist senses. But you also leave enough unspoken to keep us interested.

A touch I particularly liked was the idea of that the hunter could not take game he had not prayed for. He apparently asked Hircine's aid in hunting a bear- therefore venison was not on the menu.

Wonderful.

Oops, were we supposed to comment on here? I put it on the thread! ARGH!

@ Canis216 - your addition to that thread was breathtaking in descriptive detail, and thank you for the necromancy you performed on the thread, look what all we may have missed (us noobs to this site) (me).

And me. Thanks for reviving this, canis (and happy belated, btw). I really liked your story and I am glad to see you return to writing. Three details really stood out:

-The fact that the man (as opposed to the mer, or the ‘beast race’) was able to discern the bear’s length of stride by studying the trail.
-The scraping that drew our attention to the aspens, and the reason that they made the man nervous.
-The approach that the man made from downwind, which enabled him to smell the bear before he saw him.

My only concern is that I think you may have lost a zero in your description of the bear. A two hundred pound bear wouldn’t be much bigger than the man, in my opinion.

It's actually fairly average size for an American black bear, though I probably should have made it a bit bigger, since this is supposed to be a "big black bear".

Not necessarily.

Female Black bears don't weigh much more than humans, male Black bears run between 125-500 pounds.

We have only Black bear where I live, and they can look little and cute on all fours, then they stand up and start roaring and they are deadly. Their mass is lean muscle, solid bones, and thick fur that protects them from injury. Their claws and teeth (and jaw pressure) are as lethal as any weapon. They may sound little, but people are killed by these Black bears in the Smokey Mountains all the time.


The Grizzly are larger, females run 250 to 350 pounds, Polar bears are the largest.

A 2000 pound bear would be a rarity. The largest individual bear recorded was about 2200 pounds, but it was a male Polar bear, they usually average 800-1600.

And we all must remember that all bears have very thick pelts, which make them look much, much larger than they really are.

Next time you see a Old English Sheepdog, put your hands on its body to see where the hair ends and the body begins. They're really built more like wolfhounds than like Rottweilers!

May I join?

Short answer- "Yes, of course."

Longer answer- see the first post in this thread. The idea is that the other thread Temple of Lore is used to post the work, and this thread is used to respond. That way, comments and creativity are kept separate.

It can be useful for fragments of stories you are thinking of writing, poems, stories that are complete within a single post or a few posts, even stories that are not necessarily TES or fan-fiction- or fiction at all.

I just read Destri's first part of his short story of murder in the Imperial City. How wonderful! It was just like walking around in the game, Oblivion, and just as much fun!

I would leave a more detailed comment, which the story richly deserves, but. . .

. . . I must say, I rather dislike this format of posting unrelated stories all clumped together on one thread, then hopping over to, and commenting on, an entirely different thread. In my opinion it discourages comments, especially detailed ones. I realize it is designed for one post entries and I suppose that minimizes the problem somewhat. I would submit for any story longer than one post, the break in continuity would be quite disruptive. Just my two septims.

Is it just me who looks at the other topic and thinks "The Temple of Love"?

I am of the same mind with Acadian on the mechanics of posting a story in one topic and comments in another. It would seem to me that just making one topic for a story and all its comments - even if it is just a single piece of 500 words - would be much more accessible.

That said, this is a comment on Destri's first part:

Excellent first paragraph. I love how you showed us that Quintilius is not only a Watch Captain, but a brand-spanking new one at that. All without telling any of it to us! New writers, take note, this is how to do it!

Ridiculous, he thought, a murder in a mausoleum!
Indeed, one would think it would be too late to murder the denizen of such a place...

Blood pooled in copious amounts around each
Copious amounts? enough for a copious coinpurse perhaps?

the guard looked as nervous as a rat sneaking around in Goblin Jim’s Cave
A wonderful setting-friendly phrase!

Perhaps this one will prove a better exercise of my intellect.
Quintilius seems like a bright one. But not bright enough to avoid being a complete boatmaster. Apparently while he was sharpening his intellect he forgot to sharpen his personality. That is not a criticism on your writing. My impression is that you are channeling Sherlock Holmes in your writing of Quintilius. Which is to say, he is meant to be an boatmaster. A good example that not all protagonists have to be likeable, for just as in real life, many people are not.

I want to join in, just finished a very short story and I think that could be a good debute within the order.

I don't like going to a seperate page to comment, can't quote things running back and forth! Oh Destri - I love this already !!! Two quests in one, the personality you have bestowed on Quintilius - Sage Rosa already got my fave line :

"the guard looked as nervous as a rat sneaking around in Goblin Jim’s Cave"


More More !!!!



@ Saqin - The minute I heard the name of the country, somewhere in the back of my mind I heard..."Uh oh!" ROFL !!! Great Write!!



*

I just finished Saqin's piece. I loved the dark, desperate tone it has, with the protagonist fleeing an uncertain doom only to meet an even more certain one! My only nit is that it feels a little awkward calling him "the man" for the entire piece. Giving him a name would humanize him more, and I think make the ending have more impact.

I just finished saqin's piece as well. You really do have a thing about naming characters, 'Rosa. I didn't even notice that he was unnamed until you brought it up.

I love the name Rigor Mortis. It evokes such a sense of despair to the whole atmosphere of the story. Well done.

Destri's Clean-Up Detail:


Wonderful irony there.

Your usual deft descriptions are used to great advantage throughout the story. And we learn a great deal about the new captain based on his dialogue and internal monologues. The inconsistencies and oddities of the game world also come in for some attention- torches inside a mausoleum- clothing in random crates… And “mausoleum” itself is a bit of a misfit- after all, it comes from the real world tomb of Mausalos at Halicarnassus…

“
Oh the contempt just drips from those words!

Just love your supercilious Captain Quintilius, as he follows the trail of some unknown murderer through the City.

Saqin's Story:


There is a wealth of information in that sentence.

You have woven a wonderfully dark and eerie picture here. I look forward to seeing more.

Great follow-up chapter Saqin!