This is very rough and unedited, but I was wondering if I should continue it. Thanks.

Chapter 1

Drevyn felt the massive gates of Chorrol looming behind him as he fled the city. He also felt eyes, dozens of them burning into his back from the Imperial guards atop the ramparts. Each and every one of them hated him, some for good reason, some for none at all other than his line of work. After all, necromancy wasn’t exactly an amicable profession for upstanding citizens in Cyrodil. It was quite illegal, but then again, the guards could only act on what they could prove. And as they say, dead men tell no tales, at least not to the weak-stomached.

Using the bright full moon as a guide, Drevyn followed the main road out of the city until he was sure the guards were far behind. Once this chore was done with, the middle aged Breton gave a sallow smirk before pushing into the underbrush. His true destination was the graveyard just a mile or so northeast of the city proper. One of the Imperial nobles, a friend to the aged emperor, had recently given up a son there. This noble, horribly grieving and questionable in sanity, had asked Drevyn to bring the boy back. This was impossible, so Drevyn told the man exactly that. He would have none of it. Handing over a pouch full of gold coins, he said, “Listen to me you necromancer scum, bring my son to me this very night or my considerable influence will have your head on a pike by midday!”

Coming from some one connected to such power, this was more than enough to warrant obedience. Drevyn had at first been prepared to flee the city, but then an idea struck him, one that lesser men would have shunned. He could reanimate the boy, not as he was, but with the spirit of a Daedra flowing in his veins. It would not be true resurrection, only possession of a dead body. This might prove both disappointing and life threatening to the nobleman. Daedra spirits did not like being called forth from Oblivion, and when summoned, carnage often ensued. All Drevyn needed to do was direct the rage to that cursed noble. That would solve the problem easily enough and leave him with a full purse.

Pushing past the thick green shrubbery, Drevyn found himself in thick forest. It was easy to get lost in there without a compass or some sorcery, but the necromancer had both. He quickly cast a location spell which made little lights dance in his eyes just in the direction of the graveyard. Moving on quickly, Drevyn made it out of the greenery in minutes.

When he finally emerged from the wood, a tall spiked fence barred him entry to the graveyard. That was simple enough to deal with. He raised a thin bony hand, muttered strange words, old words, and waited happily. The stretch of iron before him promptly wilted like a plant. Many spells were simply destructive, but others could change the inner structure of a substance, making it weaker, more vulnerable. Drevyn peeled back the now vine-like fence bars and entered the graveyard. His black leather boots made no sound on the soft, moist grass as he moved toward the boy’s grave.

He was almost there when two gravelly voices whispered in the night. Their words were unintelligible from this distance, so Drevyn crouched low, moving closer. As he rounded one tall gravestone he saw two Dunmer, detestable dark elves. One held a shovel and looked exhausted while the other held something else.

Even Drevyn’s surly manner was shaken when he saw what it was: a severed head.

Paragraphing rules. Add spaces. Overall good work.


Look forward to more. :goodjob:

Ya, sorry about the lack of spacing there- I don't post anywhere very much and I expected by Word document to transfer the way it was instead of eliminating spaces.

Anyway, thanks for any feedback.

Very nice work here, and I think I'll wait for more.

:goodjob: <--- I present you with a jonajosa.

A worthy start. Good writing, with a plot that is immediately interesting. It is fun to work with an unsympathetic main character, too. Please continue.

Hehe, sneaky necromancer...

Very good start, keep it up.

Oooh, nice start! Very tense cliff-hanger, me likey. Please continue soon! I look forward to more of this.

Chapter 2

Cursing under his breath, Drevyn ducked back behind the large stone. It was just his luck to find grave-robbers, probably working for a rival necromancer. They might have been harvesting individual organs or whole corpses, but regardless, they had to be dealt with. Drevyn needed the noble’s boy whole, not in pieces. Thankfully the severed head did not belong to the dead young human, but it was likely the Dunmer would move on to his grave next. That meant they had to be dealt with, one way or another.

Wiping away some of the mud from his dark cloak, Drevyn emerged from his hiding place and approached the two diggers, boots still silent on the damp earth. His attire blended so seamlessly with the shadows that the two darks did not at first register his approach. This might have been beneficial if he planned to kill them directly, but his ideas were of a much more grisly sort. The dagger hidden in his robes was deadly, but the spell on his lips would be far worse.

The exhausted, shovel wielding Dunmer was the first to see Drevyn’s arrival. He called out to the other, and they both sent piercing stares in the necromancer’s direction. At once, the one with the shovel held it menacingly and the other produced a short tanto blade. It’s hilt shone black in the full moon’s light, but further up the blade was strange, glowing a hazy green. Enchanted weapons could be rare, and this one had surely been expensive. Drevyn would need to avoid the wretched blade if worst came to worst.

Gnashing his ugly blackened teeth, the Dunmer holding the head growled, “Leave here, stranger. This does not concern you.” His tired friend chimed in, “Unless you’re looking for a knife in the gut!”

Obviously, they expected Drevyn to run, and when he did nothing, their anger flared. The gaunt necromancer pushed a graying hair out of his face and whispered hollowly, “What are two respectable types like you doing in a graveyard at well past midnight? Not pillaging the dead are we? Stealing corpses? The Imperial Guards won’t like that very much, friends.”

“They also won’t like finding a skinny Breton dead among their loved ones,” hissed the one with a shovel. His companion put a dark hand up in protest and said, “What makes you think we’re doing anything wrong?” As he said this, his tanto came up with a waving threat.

“Well, you are holding someone’s decapitated head,” said Drevyn matter-of-factly. “Most people wouldn’t like that very much at all.”

“No I guess they wouldn’t,” said the more menacing of the Dunmer, edging closer. “But master Vahn pays us well to bring him treasures, pays us well to make sure no one finds out about our little enterprise.”

Drevyn gritted his teeth at the thought of Vahn. He was a rival necromancer to be sure, but also the most loathsome of creatures, a vampire. To think that one of the undead would so enjoy manipulating his cohorts was an unsettling thought indeed. Drevyn still remembered his last nearly fatal encounter with the vampire, as well as the wretched thing’s lifeless, pupil-less eyes.

Before he could speak once more to the two Dunmer, the first gave a toothy grin and said, “Sorry, Breton. You can’t leave here, tonight. Leastwise, Lord Vahn will be happy to have a snack. Maybe then he won’t look at the two of us like food anymore.”

With that, both dark elves moved forward, one still brandishing the shovel and the other with his poison blade. Drevyn smiled at them both and said, “I’m sorry about this, you two. Who would want to die in a cemetary?”

They were unphased, and moved on with threatening strides. Drevyn brought up a hand and whispered, “Davos!” Immediately, the rotting severed head in the Dunmer’s hand erupted to life, biting at his knuckles and forcing him to drop the tanto. Meanwhile, the other dark ran at Drevyn, but was violently stopped when the headless corpse he had been digging up sprang to life with as much fervor as its missing member. It had been buried with some type of jagged ceremonial sword, but now that same weapon was used to skewer the defiler of its grave.

The second of the Dunmer managed to rid himself of the animated head, but lost two fingers in the process. He snatched the tanto back up into his good hand and ran at Drevyn, screaming. The necromancer’s cloak billowed as he sidestepped and something white flashed in the darkness. The dark elf fell to his knees, and a cascade of blood rushed down from the gaping wound at his throat.
:confused: :shocked:
Drevyn put away his bloodied dagger, and trudged toward the young noble’s grave, removing his spell to animate the dead man. He reached it, and was about to begin digging, but then had a better idea. He said, “Davos!” once more, but this time directed his spell at the dead, shovel wielding Dunmer. The dark immediately sprang up and began to work for Drevyn. The necromancer smiled as his puppet gradually unearthed his prize.

Oooh, very nice! Your necromancer's much more... er, sinister-ish than my 6-yr-old Emma, which I think is a nice contrast.

I really liked the details and the actiony scene. Very nicely done. Please continue, because I'm hungry for more! :lickinglips2:

Ooh, I wonder if Drevyn is going to have another encounter with the vampire. Can't wait for that fight!

Have a [img]http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/DigGarden/Cake_15454.gif[/img] for the good work! :goodjob:

Thanks a lot MerGirl- - I really appreciate the feedback, positive or negative, so thanks very much. I may not be able to add on to this too often though. It only takes about 30 minutes to do something short like these chapters are but I'm working on something else right now so bleh- anyway, I'll try to add on when I can- by the way I like your work on the forum here.

Oh and also, the vampire will definately come into play later. Necromancer vs Undead Necromancer- A little strange I know, but there might be some interesting things I could do with that.

Still going strong- adding a menacing rival like Vahn is a nice touch. The fight in the graveyard, as well as the "conversation" beforehand, were quite good.