Ok, so this is the story of my RP character, Jonacin

The Tale of Jonacin

Jonacin was born in Sentinel, Hammerfell. His father was a Sword Singer of above average power, and his mother was the daughter of a wealthy merchant. He was born after they had been married for several years, and was their first son. Even when in the cradle, his parents knew he would grow to be a powerful Ansei, for he would frequently form a Shehai as he played. The sword was always the same, a long katana with stylized wreaths of flame curling up the blade. He was always a very serious child, even as a baby he rarely laughed or cried. At the age of three, instead of playing with other children, he spent a lot of his time reading The Book of Circles, encouraged by his parents to learn all he could from it. As time passed, his skills became more pronounced, and he frequently formed a true Shehai. He entered the local Hall of the Virtues of War at the early age of 7, and quickly rose to the top of his class, even though all of his fellow students were several years older than him.

At the age of 12, he first formed a true Shehai in battle conditions. He was in a sparring contest with one of his classmates, and his blade snapped. Rather than stop the fight to get a new one, he instinctively concentrated and formed the Shehai. Within seconds after doing so, the fight was over, his opponents blade cut in half and the tip of the Shehai resting against his jugular. The instructors were all amazed at this feat, as were his fellow students. He was judged worthy to claim the rank of Master Ansei, a Sword Saint, despite his young age.


An Ansei is a person who can call up a Shehai in any form
A Shehai is an indestructable spirit sword that can cut through pretty much anything

Nice, detailed childhood.

:goodjob:

But I need more . . .

I'll be posting more every now and then

cool. was that just a breif history, or are you going to continue?

(please be the second option..) *crosses fingers*

I'm going to continue, hell i've only gotten to age twelve and he's 38 in the RP

Yay! Very good, Wolfie, I like it and I need updates every now and then, I like Jonacin in the RP and it´s awesome to learn more about him...

Keep it coming please!!!

:goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob:

Wow! I love Jonacin, because he's always been a silly Redguard! Now, you must write more of this character and the update must be longer, I demand it! Er, pweeeeese?

Are you going to continue with his present life, like, when he gets more experience or something?

I'm gonna continue on with his life up til the time of the RP

Talk about talented young boy... Nice Wolfie.. :goodjob:

Good background for the character- I will look forward to seeing more of him.

Cool, the great Treydog likes my story

Yeah... its nice seeing Treydog giving some feedback, he's such a skilled writer himself! Can teach us much :goodjob:

Can we get a update soon Wolfie.. :lickinglips:

I'm gonna try and write some more later tonight, after karate

Yup. I need more to read before I decide to give you this, :goodjob: .

Good so far though.

ok, time for an update
Enjoy

Jonacin had gained the rank of Master Ansei, but he stayed in The Hall of the Virtues of War to continue his training and improve his technique. Two years after he was elevated to Master Ansei, he was in another sparring contest. His opponent was very skilled, and the contest was close, a constant exchange of thrusts, slashes, parries and ripostes. Jonacin’s blade lanced towards his opponents chest, only to have it parried by his opponent, who sent a riposte ripping towards his throat. Jonacin leapt back, spinning as he did so, sweeping his sword round in a wide arc. He was rewarded for this dangerous maneuver by his blade thudding home against his opponent’s side, the unexpected move breaking through his guard. Sweating heavily, both combatants raised their blades in salute and they retired to other activities.

This was Jonacin’s third bout of the day, and he was beginning to tire, He had defeated all his opponents, but the last bout had been very close, and he had nearly lost several times. An instructor crossed the floor, coming to a stop in front of where Jonacin sat. He told him to prepare himself, as his next bout was to be a duel to the death. A foolish young Master Ansei had challenged Jonacin, determined to crush the young upstart before he got any further. Enraged, Jonacin stood and strode swiftly to the specially prepared dueling arena. He reached for a sword on a nearby rack, but the instructor grabbed his wrist, telling him that this duel was to be fought with Shehai only.

Jonacin stepped into the circle of sand that denoted the arena. He called up his sword and ran through a few of the forms, loosening his muscles and calming his mind. He looked across to the other side of the ring and saw his opponent, a man called Davik. Jonacin had never liked the young man, who was several years older than himself. Davik was constantly putting others down, scorning those that could not form the true Shehai. He was arrogant, but he remained in the Hall because his prowess was undeniable.

Nice update. I likes and want more.

*claps* An update, yay!

Great writing, as always. A bit short, but sweet and awesome. Now, you must continue on, for this is making me hungry for more! :lickinglips:

Er, one question: What's a "riposte"? :embarrassed2:

Anywa, for updating, here is your [img]http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/DigGarden/Cake_15454.gif[/img]!

a riposte is a counter-attack you make right after you block an attack

[quote=LoneWolf]a riposte is a counter-attack you make right after you block an attack[/quote]

Do you mean, blocking with a weapon or a shield? So, if I blocked an attack with my shield/weapon, then I immediately attack the opponent right after (counter-attacking?), that is a rioste, right? *is not sure how fighting moves work* :embarrassed2:

i think it's when you parry (block) with a sword. A shield blokcing the attack doesn't really allow for a swift counter, which is waht a riposte is, It's meant to catch the opponent off guard, which you can't do if you're just after blocking with a shield

[quote=LoneWolf]i think it's when you parry (block) with a sword. A shield blokcing the attack doesn't really allow for a swift counter, which is waht a riposte is, It's meant to catch the opponent off guard, which you can't do if you're just after blocking with a shield[/quote]

Oh, okay. Thank ya for more combat knowledge. I love battle scenes... I, myself, just can't write them very well.

very cool, simple, but cool, try adding some more details. Make it more realistic

Ok... here you go. That was pretty good. Keep it up.

:goodjob:

[quote=LoneWolf]i think it's when you parry (block) with a sword. A shield blokcing the attack doesn't really allow for a swift counter, which is waht a riposte is, It's meant to catch the opponent off guard, which you can't do if you're just after blocking with a shield[/quote]

Tis true, I know because I took fencing (I quit though because everyone else was insane. Want to play Yu-gi-Oh? Want to play digimans? Want to watch the pokemon movies?).

Great writing LoneWolf.. :goodjob: Think with your combat knowledge the fight between Jonacin and Davik will be pretty good! :lickinglips:

Most excellent fight scenes. Hope we begin to get more of a feel for who Jonacin is... He is clearly destined for great things.

[quote=treydog]Most excellent fight scenes. Hope we begin to get more of a feel for who Jonacin is... He is clearly destined for great things.[/quote]


I fully agree with treydog here, I love hearing about Jonacin, so keep it up. And you´re really good at fighting-scenes

Cool, the two best writers on the forums like my work

Update time
Hope you like this one

Jonacin watched as Davik called up his Shehai. While Jonacin’s was a katana, with a long, one edged blade, Davik’s was a regular, double edged longsword. Jonacin knew that this was going to be a very tough battle, especially as it was to the death and not just first contact. An instructor walked into the centre of the ring, motioning to both combatants to join him. He quickly explained the rules, to them, simply that there was to be no foul play like kicking sand into the face of the opponent, and that no aid was to be given/sought for any reason. He then told them to return to opposite sides of the ring and await his signal to begin. He retreated to just outside the ring, and brought his arms up and then down, signaling the start of the duel.

Davik sprang into action almost before the instructor’s arm had dropped, launching his attack with blistering speed. Jonacin was forced onto a desperate defence, frantically parrying the rain of blows that came towards him. He blocked a slash that would have disemboweled him, but was a split second to slow to block the reverse slash. He leapt backwards, but still felt a sudden burning sensation as Davik’s blade sliced across his chest, ripping open a shallow wound. Davik grinned, thinking that the duel was his, and pressed his attack harder.

Suddenly Jonacin ducked and span aside, slashing his sword towards Davik as he did so. He was rewarded with a grunt of pain, as his blade sliced into the muscle of Davik’s shoulder, but it didn’t cause serious damage. Jonacin grinned as he heard Davik mutter a string of curses and span to attack again. Jonacin began to taunt him, hoping to enrage him. One of the first lessons taught to those at the Hall was to always keep control of their emotions, as an enraged fighter was a stupid one. Davik roared in fury, charging towards Jonacin, his blade raised high. Jonacin’s next maneuver was very risky, but would win him the duel if he pulled it off.

As Davik charged towards him, Jonacin crouched low, waiting for his moment to strike. Davik got closer, and began swinging his blade in a downward arc that would take Jonacin’s head off. A split second before the blow connected, he ducked low, and span aside, slashing with his blade as he did so. Both fighters stopped, and turned to face each other. The entire hall was silent. Suddenly Davik let out a groan, and fell to his knees. A thin red line appeared across his chest, and suddenly blood gushed forth from the wound. Davik collapsed forward onto his face, twitched once, and died, a pool of blood spreading out from beneath his body.

Jonacin’s maneuver had worked, his blow cutting deep into Davik’s chest, cutting both lungs a severing many major veins and arteries. The move was incredibly dangerous, and required impeccable timing or it would backfire and result in the death of the one who tried it. Jonacin remained where he stood, suddenly out of breath. The wound in his chest was beginning to hurt now that adrenaline was wearing off, but Jonacin refused to seek treatment for it yet. He faced the crowd who had gathered to watch the duel, and raised his blade in the customary salute before letting it vanish.

The description of the fighting in your writing is really good Lonewolf. It really lets you feel the flow and pace of the fight. Nice work!

Holy compassion LoneWolf...! Your fighting scenes can almost match up to RA Salvatores, I really love how u and Salvatore goes into the nice detailed combat, even the wounds are detailed - Great writing LoneWolf, hope we can see more fights with Jonacin!

:goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob:

Cool, i got compared to a professional writer

Awesome battle scene, and truly does match Salvatore's skill, though I would say that Salvatore has an extremely different style of writing his battle scenes...

I've never read any books by Salvatore.......

I haven't either but my brother goes crazy over his books.

Don't bother him while he's reading them or you get the wrath of :evil13:

Anyway, yes I absolutely think the battle scene was written with great skill. Ooooh gushing blood.

I agree with all posts above, now you are a very good writer, and getting better and better as well.....the description of the fight was great, you could easily picture it in your mind, and as always a very good usage of the language....so keep it coming Wolfie!



:goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob:

Oh, so good! *claps* Oh, you really write good fighting scenes! *envy*

Um, excuse me for being dumb, but what does it mean when they 'span'? Is that another fighting term? Please don't get mad at me... :embarrassed:

You know the way you spin around? span is the past tense of spin (as in i did it earlier and now i'm telling you about it)

that would be err....spun.

depends on the context you use it in. Span is right in this situation though

[quote=Dantrag]that would be err....spun.[/quote]

Span works as well.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=span

Time for another update. This one is different than the others, and it's my first time writing this type of thing, so i'm not sure if i did i very well, but here goes:

It was three weeks since Jonacin had killed Davik in the duel. Since then, many of the other people in the Hall had treated him with a mix of awe and respect. However, he refused to fall into the trap of arrogance and pride that Davik had succumbed to. He merely continued his studies and training, improving his skills and control as best he could. The wound in his chest had been deeper than he originally realized, and he now had a long scar where the wound had been, despite the healing magic used.

He was also spending far more time at the Hall than he used to, because at the Hall he had to focus all his attention on the task at hand. His father had recently been killed in a fight with a group of trolls that had attacked him when he was out hunting, and at the Hall he could lose himself in his studies and not think about what had happened. His mother was distraught, and he knew that she would take a long time to get over the loss, if she ever did. When he returned that night, he was greeted by a horrific scene. His mother lay dead on her bed, a knife plunged into her heart by her own hand. She left a note, saying she was sorry but she couldn’t go on living without her beloved husband. It was then that Jonacin broke down in tears.

He couldn’t remember much that happened after that. He knew that at some point, he had staggered out into the street, tears still streaming down his face. Next thing he knew, it was morning, and he was lying in one of the beds at the Hall usually reserved for those with serious injuries sustained while training with proper weapons and not blunt training ones. One of the instructors sat by the bed, a look of deep concern in his eyes. He asked how he felt. This comment brought memories of the night before back, and Jonacin broke down in tears again.

Oh, poor baby! *pats Jonacin on the head* That's so sad!

Good job, LoneWolfie! :goodjob:

Er, what do you mean it's time typing that kind of thing? What thing? Writing the emotional scene or something?

The emotional type thing. I usually just write fight scene type thingys

[quote=LoneWolf]The emotional type thing. I usually just write fight scene type thingys[/quote]
Guess your a very violent person... Just kidding mate, nice written.. its nice to see that you have good skill when out comes out of the combat, still want to read more so keep it coming! :goodjob:

Blood, guts and glory. The only ways to write a story.

Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more of this... eccentric tale.

:goodjob:

eccentric? what's so eccentric about it?

The way the story flows. To me its (in simpler terms) fast, fun and almost non-stop.

oh right. I thought you meant the weird kind of eccentric

Great Wolfie! So nice to see different styles from the same author, and you obviously are skilled with both, combat and more soft storylines.

I think you really shall keep up your writing and amuse us with nice and frequent updates..

I´ll put in some cheerful jonajosas here for you!

:goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: