QUOTE(Colonel Mustard @ Oct 1 2014, 05:16 AM)

Please tell me there's more of this, the 40K-based RPGs are always hilarious. Lethal, too, but mainly hilarious.
Also, this thread will become the updating point for the Pathfinder Campaign I'm going to start running. There is nothing you can do to stop this. Brace yourselves. Campain updates are coming.
I'm actually playing a new campaign now, as a player. I'll see if I can find some of the GM writeups, they're quite good.
Here's our lovable crew:
Valentine Greysen (Rogue Trader): Once a heroic naval officer, a scandal early in his career forever stained him. Now, he is free to seek glory, to serve the god-emperor, and yes, to win gold on his own terms. Which usually follow this form, "damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!"
Nathin Veche (Arch-Militant): Retired from the Imperial Guard, he was raised into the nobility for his actions saving the life of an imperial scion. A career soldier, he is disciplined and severe.
Jeremiah Sullivan (Missionary): Itinerant preacher and fanatic, he follows a quest for justice against a Nurgle cult. His faith is his foundation, and he trusts in The Emperor to guide him to his quarry.
Ergonomics Q. Smith (Explorator)[And your's truly!

]: Newly promoted tech-priest, his enthusiasm for exploration and learning often results in outbursts of emotion uncommon for the Mechanicus.
Cassilda Kalmar (Navigator): Her drive and ambition, the source of past troubles, must serve her now most of all. She seeks to regain her former position, and to make sure that this time, her grasp does not exceed her reach.
Absalom Angevin (Void Master): The mysterious pilot holds his cards close to his vest. What is evident, however, is his professionalism and superior flying skills.
One thing Greysen is all about is action. He charges before he is sure he can win, because he is sure that force of action IS the way to victory. His crew, by luck or Imperial provenance, shares his aggressiveness and drive. Some rogue Traders parlay, some strike deals, some sneak about. House Greysen comes to act
SESSION NUMERO UNO (which I was not in)
"If the sacred tone of approval is given after the panel lights under your left hand, bless the key once with your lips, and insert into the sacred slot lit by holy lumen glow." - Catechism of the Mechanicus
With a gentle sensation, Imperial Vengeance dropped into realspace right on target: Port Wander. The Rogue Trader, Valentin Greysen, had arrived to take on supplies, star charts, and crew before heading out into the Koronus Expanse.
As the cutter approached the docking bay, an unknown Imperial vessel, roughly strike cruiser size, translated into the system and began bearing in to PW at high speed. The only identifying mark an Inquisitorial "I", the ship broadcast an order for everyone in the local area to power down engines and hold stationary position. Greysen ordered a halt, as all communications in the area came under a jamming signal. One ship, a destroyer, began to flee. Two system monitors attempted to halt it by shooting shots across its bow before two missiles from the mystery ship blew it to pieces.
A swarm of shuttles began to attend the Inquisitorial ship, and after appearing to load up many shuttles worth of goods(?), the ship returned to the horizon and translated back into the warp. The normal communications were established and the air was filled with an explosion of chatter. The mysterious event had shaken up the whole area, and no one had any answers.
With his Seneschal, Cadbury (NPC), he decided to go straight to the top in his quest for a map of the KE, and headed to the 'VIP only' Admiralty Club. After a grating encounter with Sage Logister Vir, Administratum head on PW, Greysen convinced Warp Master Pal, head of the Navis Nobilite faction on PW, to bestow upon him a best quality map of The Maw and a general map of the Koronus Expanse.
Cadbury, in a move designed to test both the new Master of Whispers, had the former marauder known as Torque, and the candidate for Arch-Militant, Nathin Veche, meet quickly and then head off to procure a lead from a contact. With little to go on, the pair found their contact in an illegal casino, and observed him having a bit of trouble with some crooked looking characters. He, a naval officer and Harbormaster on PW, was in gambling debt with the notorious Malfi family crime syndicate. Seeing an opportunity, Torque paid off the man's debts in return for his loyalty to House Greysen. He also made sure to get the lead, the coordinates in space of a derelict ship called The Forsaken Bounty.
Upon exiting, the shock tactics of an Arbites raid caught them unaware. Following the directions of an insistent woman, they managed to escape the Arbites, but ended up in a clandestine meeting with said Malfi representatives. As they seemed to be negotiating a mutually beneficial agreement, persons unknown opened fire upon the whole group, in the form of an autogun-armed servitor, and killed most of the Malfians.
Ditching down an access hatch, the duo plus one Malfian entered into the lower decks. This area of the ship, seldom visited by the regular staff of PW, is home to misfits and mutants, AWOL sailors and the mentally ill. The detritus of humanity, like so much cast off trash, gather here to hide and to live. As cautious as they were, they were tracked by a group of Hullghasts, mutated spawn of mutant parents, on the hunt for meat. Although the mutants got the drop on them, they were able to grant the Hullghasts the full embrace of the Emperor's mercy.
Finally back above ground, the duo found themselves cementing another relationship; the Malfian, an important family member, had escaped alive. And now the Malfians owe House Greysen a debt.
SESSION NUMERO DOS (which I was in, as with all sessions from this point one)
You carry the Emperor's will as your torch, with it destroy the shadows.
With his usual brusque manner, Greysen cut through the Admiralty Club like a storm. He could not suffer the foolishness of neither Sage Logister Vir nor Bishop Court. No missionary help would be coming his way, but that was prefferable to pandering to idiots.
His run-in with two fellow RTs was no different. Hadarak Fel had been plundering the Koronus Expanse for four decades in his ship, The Fell Hand. Having had success, he jealously guards his interests, and let Greysen know that he was warned to steer clear of Fel's endeavours. Roland Alexius, patriarch of a family boasting five Warrants, bared his contempt of Greysen, and made as thinly veiled a threat as possible. Both were met with defiance and scorn. Outmatched in this battle of wits, Alexius stupidly bragged that his son, Simon, was in possession of something Greysen thought was his alone, the location of The Forsaken Bounty. Further, he bragged that Simon would be ready to cast off within 24 hours, a full day ahead of Greysen.
Armed with this information, Greysen hurried to his ship, and in a rousing speech, pushed his men to great speed in its resupply. Cadbury sent Torque and Veche to gather what info they could about the mysterious Inquisitorial visit the station experienced. They uncovered a man named Thrann Finn, a roguish fellow, well-known on Port Wander as a source of information. His claim to be a lookout for a pirate gang being unproven, he nevertheless is an info-broker, and Torque worked out a mutually beneficial agreement with him. Through this he learned that the visit of the Inquisitorial ship may have been a ruse to sneak someone aboard, for a ship with unknown imperial heraldry left PW during the re-supply and delivered a mysterious person there.
Meanwhile, an itinerant preacher named Sullivan wandered the dock area, mingling with the lowliest crew members and sharing their sufferings. When the Captain's speech rallied his men to work, they swept up this preacher, adopted as their spiritual good-luck charm, and brought him aboard. Always drifting, trusting in The Emperor to guide him to his destiny, he felt His hand and joined with the crew. His exhortations spurred them on even further and, gradually, the crew of the Imperial Vengeance began to catch up to that of Alexius' ship, the frigate The Emperor's Mercy.
Launching only minutes behind Alexius, Greysen and his men raced the other ship to the horizon, gaining ground, inching ever closer right up till the end. Less than a minute behind now, the Imperial Vengeance translated into the Warp, betting on their navis prima, the skills of their navigator, and The Emperor's blessings to bring them to victory!
SESSION NUMERO TRES (in which I get mentioned)
Preserve us from the Perils of the Warp, that we may serve the Domain of Man!
With the help of the navis Prima, Navigator Kalmar shepherded the Imperial Vemgeance through a mostly uneventful trip into the Immaterium. Her skill was proven in the very swift arrival of the ship at The Battlegrounds Station of Passage, a mere 19 hours subjective time and only 13 hours real-time journey!
While in-transit, a report of a missionary operating below decks, and having a strong positive influence on the crew, reached Cadbury. Greysen summoned this stowaway to a meeting of his Captain's Party, and suitably impressed with his piety he absorbed him into the crew. At the meeting, Cadbury explained the history and the facts of the derelict ship, The Forssaken Bounty. A millenia ago, a chartist captain by the name of Thomas Oregon regularly ran this ship on supply runs between Port Wander and Footfall. On a trip ferrying settlers and foodstuff into the Koronus Expanse, his ship became stuck on a warp reef, a shard of false reality. When it did not arrive at its destination, it was eventually listed as missing in the warp.
Several months ago, a passing ship of Battlefleet Koronus picked up its distress signal. Noting the location, the ship moved on. Lacking the assets to do salvaging, the Navy ignored this information, allowing it to be passed on to private interests. And so Cadbury, through connections of his own in the Navy, learned of this and made arrangements to secure the location. So too did Alexius.
Now, they knew they had a rival, and the first Rogue trader to set foot aboard her would have the legal rights to her. If he could hold it. The Captain's Party began to make plans and issue orders pursuant to the salvaging, each according to their area of expertise.
Sooner then expected, the Imperial Vengeance translated smoothly out of the warp. Noting Alexius had not yet arrived, Lord-Captain Greysen took the ship close in to the floating graveyard, tasking his Master of Etherics to actively scan for the signal of The Forsaken Bounty.
Suddenly, several plasma drives came to life as a squadron of fighters, bombers, and torpedo bombers, hidden amongst the derelict ships, ambushed the Rogue Trader. Pulling away from their initial assault, Greysen called for a situation report from all stations. Nine smaller ships approaching quickly on attack vectors, and behind them: their carrier rising from the debris field. A large cruiser, larger then his own, it seemed to be completely un-spaceworthy. The plasma drive should not have been functioning, except to overload and explode. Compromising rents in the superstructure were clearly visible, as was the ship's heraldry, the eight-pointed star of chaos! Further, colors flowed and transformed about her exterior, like a chameleon changing its skin. A sign of the influence of the foul Chaos God Tzeentch! A ship held together with vile sorcery...
Refusing an incoming transmission, Greysen ordered a quick turn around. Master Helmsman Angenvin executed a suprisingly tight maneuver, catching the fighters and bombers off-guard. Nonetheless, they regrouped and dealt a damaging blow to the Gellar Field generator. Ergonomics raced to begin the repair, as the missionary Sullivan exhorted the gun crews to do their best, raising their spirits and strengthening their faith as they hammered the incoming fighters, driving them away. Veche himself operated the macrocannon batteries as the two capital ships closed, dealing heavy blow after heavy blow, tearing through their void shields, pulverizing their armor, and visiting the Emperor's justice upon them!
Forward, Greysen ordered, flank speed! Forward, continue to fire! Pound them! Attack! Onward he drove his crew, his vigor and aggressiveness mirrored and embraced by their own actions!
Taken aback by the speed of Angevin's maneuver, the enemy ship could not pull away as Veche ultimately dealt the killing blow. Trailing smoke, debris, and bodies, the Chaos vessel began to list and drift, all aboard dead and dying as it was engulfed in explosions.
Greysen, putting the Imperial Vengeance at a distance from the danger, began to take stock of his damage reports and direct repairs. Time was short, Alexius was on his way, and now his fire had been lit.