I thought I would give it you in bitesize pieces...as I find them easier to read.


-----------------------Konrad’s Story-----------------------
Konrad woke up, slowly opening one of his eyes. He covered his face with his hand, the light of the midday sun burning his eyes. He pushed his bed covers down, his shiny leather tunic visible now. He never really changes his clothes, but has them washed immediately. He got up, sighing and brushing his coal black hair from his eyes.

“Where is father?” Konrad called down as he descended the antique wooden stairs.

“He is already at his school opening, but I didn’t want to wake you,” his mother replied, frowning as she looked up from her lunch. Picking up a slice of bread Konrad broke free of the confinement of his house, blinking ferociously at the revealed light. He looked around, still amazed at the artistry of the buildings surrounding him. He spent many an hour gazing out of the small opening in his room, just marvelling at the wonders of the architects and builders.

He glanced at the position of the sun to confirm his thoughts. “It is late in the day…I must get there if I am to pass the trials,” Konrad mumbled to himself. He raced through the backstreets of the city, passing the many landmarks on the way, and eventually reached his father’s dream…The Blade School.

Wow . .short.

But very well detailed :goodjob: <--- you guys have a special name for that.

good Konrad! nice so more please.


I´ll give you two jonajosas... :goodjob: :goodjob:

Why do we call them Jonajosas?

The building was obviously new, the stone it was made from was nearly white and the overbearing double doors a rich maple. The ebony plated sign was swinging freely on the oiled hinge, catching the light every time and lighting up the entrance with an eerily welcome glow. The word blade was etched into it, and a sharpened sword was sticking through it. Konrad’s father had paid a fair amount of Septims to the blacksmith so that he would produce an authentic reproduction as to what would happen if ebony was stabbed with a sword.

Above the partially open doors there was a grand balcony, the stone covered by many different ivies and flowers. Birds were perched on the railing, cawing manically at any passers by. Standing on the balcony was a bard, the melodious tune from his lute enrapturing the steadily growing crowd as it weaved its way through the streets of Cyrodiil.

Konrad edged his way through the crowd, nodding neighbourly to some of the people he knew, and coldly staring at enemy enemies of his family who had come to try and prove the school a farce. He rapped on the open door, and slipped his way in. Sitting cheerfully at a desk behind the doors was a Bosmer, perched on top of 2 leather backed books.

“Hello young sir, are you looking to join this amazing and wonderful academy?” he asked with a smile…an obviously scripted line.

“I would please, Thografe. I would like to participate in the trials. Have there been many competitors so far?” Konrad enquired, straightening his sword belt and wiping some dust off the table with his sleeve.

“Oh, yes sir. There are many signed up…I have gone through 3 sheets so far.” He beamed, gesturing to the scrolls. He added warily, “Luca has also joined sir, and he has already passed the first round of fighting.” Konrad sighed, throwing down his 5 Septims entry fee and continuing along the spacious corridor.

[quote=Red]Why do we call them Jonajosas?[/quote]

because they are jonajosa's trademark smileys...

Great story, Konrad.

(I will not give into the temptaion to write a story about Sel...and that might be final! )

Thanks y'all..note the wood elf is mostly fargoth backwards.

Vivid descriptions, very nice.

Some confusion to ponder- if the academy is his father's, why doesn't the Bosmer seem to know him? Particularly since Konrad knows the Bosmer's name. Yet a moment later the Bosmer mentions "Luca" as if he expects that to be significant to the narrator....

Overall, an excellent start. Your attention to detail and carefully measured tension (for example, the fact that there are enemies present) make for an exciting read.

Nice Konrad...! :goodjob:

the Wood Elf did that as a kind of joke to Konrad, as it is just the line he was told to say to evetryone who has been in.

Konrad stepped out onto the oval training grounds, the packed dirt beneath him giving him a slight spring. Stands ran along the length of it, though they were simple stone seats for the expenses were put to greater use with other things. Though there was a lot of space the stands were empty, as the public were only allowed in for tournaments and the like.

The area was not quiet though, all around him Konrad caught curses being thrown as the young warriors sparred for the place in the next round. Close to him were two young boys, around the ages of 7, screaming at each other as they charged with short wooden swords. The ‘swords’ clashed together, and the slightly younger boys weapon broke at the base of the blade. A tear rolled down the lad’s face, then he started to bawl wildly, falling to the floor in a heap.

Konrad watched the boys fight, then ran over to the crying child.

“Are you alright?” he asked, kneeling down and picking up the other piece of the sword. The child mumbled something illegible, then started crying again. Konrad sighed, looking up and seeing his father run over.

“What’s all this, son?” the large man asked, slowing down.

“A simple breakage father, he is not coping well,” Konrad replied slowly, getting back to his feet and walking over to his father.

“He will have to learn to deal with that early on in this academy. When your best friends die beside you, you cannot break down in tears…there is more at stake.” Leontus, Konrad’s father, commented on steely. He looked back at the child; shaking his head and kicking some dust up.

“Have heart father, he is too young.” Konrad urged, glaring at the man. He broke into a deep frown. “So about the contest, am I too late? I heard the first round was over?”

“No, it is not over…but it is late in the trials. Your opponent is an older Altmer, around 15 in our years, who is trying to stay away from the mage stereotype. He is over yonder, on the other side of the arena. He is impatient and outgoing…that is his downfall.” He patted Konrad on the shoulder, then turned and walked over to the Altmer.

Very good! *claps* Very detailed. I would like it if you would write more, pweeese? I'll give you cake!

Oh, hmm.. the only thing I can tell you is that you put alot of actions connected together by the word 'and'. This makes some of your sentences a little too long. 'He did this, doing this and that and that.' Seperate some of your sentences, is what I'm saying.

Please don't take any offense. :ashamed:

Just keep on writing! :goodjob:

Add about a thousand periods and Mergirl will be happy.

Took me a while to do this one, but I am pleased with it.

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Konrad walked cautiously over to the Elf, bringing out his blade. Sticking it deeply into the ground beside him he bowed low, keeping his head up.

“Greetings, are you ready for the fight?” he asked as politely as possible. The Mer looked down at him with contempt, his nose held aloft as he sneered.

“I am ready to fight you, for I will brush you off me like a rat. You are a mere child, and I am simply stronger.” The Altmer spoke with an authority about him, obviously the son of a snobby guard or manor owning Lord. Konrad winced at the Elf’s declaration, for it was most likely true that his muscles were less developed than the Mer’s.

Konrad released his sword from the Earth and took a step back, swinging it freely to loosen his arms. The Altmer nodded his head and readied his steel staff, the length of it greater than the tall character. They waited in silence for the call of Leontus then, at command, began the fight.

A few swordsmen who had been knocked out watched impatiently, twiddling their thumbs and punching each other on the arm. They knew neither of the fighting pair, so did not know how good they were. Konrad’s father also watched, rubbing his chin and trying to find any errors.

The Altmer made the first move, spinning around with his staff low in an attempt to sweep Konrad’s legs. Konrad jumped instinctively, then rolled to the right of the Mer and slashed across his shoulder.

The Mer cried out in pain, recoiling from the attack. A trickle of blood ran the length of his arm and snaked its way around the staff. Konrad stepped backwards calmly, not trying to keep an advantage going on in a clean sweep. The yellow ‘bully’ looked at Konrad with a look of slight fear and confusion, his eyes wide while his hand shot up to try and stop the bleeding.

Konrad leapt at him again, slashing a quick ‘K’ across the chest of his opponent. It was quickly unrecognisable with the blood dripping down but it would leave a noteworthy scar. His enemy staggered slightly backwards, a look of horror erupting on his face.

Konrad pressed on, kicking his opponent’s left leg and smacking the bright purple helmet with the butt of the sword. The Elf fell downwards, the helmet bouncing on the tough dirt unthreateningly. Konrad brought up his sword to the Mer’s neck, then drew slight blood.

“Enough!” cried Leontus, running into the arena and helping the Mer up. “You went out of control Konrad, keep your cool.” He walked off, escorting the Elf back to the gates.

Nice, I liked that part.. for that part alone I give..

:goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: 3 JonaJosas!

Very good you know! Be proud of your work.....I´ll give you ......


:goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: jonajosas

Yeah that was pretty sweet. Good writing and keep it up.

Good job. :goodjob: You added good details of the fight, though I felt the fight ended way too fast. But, please continue. :goodjob:

Finally an update. Haven't written for ages, but decided to start again. There is quite a development in this part, as I felt the story wasn't going anywhere.

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Konrad shook his head at the defeated opponent, then sheathed his sword. The small crowd cheered and a young female Bosmer scurried away, putting the semi finalists down on a long scroll of parchment. She wrote in very spidery writing, very hard to read.

Konrad pricked his ears up. He heard a dull thud, and a few shouts from outside. Looking around he noticed no-one had heard it, caught up in either fighting or watching or training. He walked quickly back to the main corridor, opening the gigantic oak doors for the second time and walking down the ornate passageway. He turned the corner and cried out in horror, shocked at what he saw. He ran quickly along the corridor, skidding to a halt next to the dead body of Thografe.

His neck had been sliced. A pulse of blood erupted from his neck in time with Konrad’s heartbeat. The deep crimson mixed with the ink on the dozens of parchments laid out on the desk, the ink running and merging with the blood. Konrad turned round and drew his sword just in time to sweep upwards and block an assault from an angry looking man.

The beast of a man was about 6’4”, with bulging muscles rippling across him all over. He had a rough face, his features angular and angry. He had a short moustache, and big bushy eyebrows. His hair was spiked haphazardly from his scalp, the unkempt mass of black suiting him perfectly. His weapon was the only thing that didn’t fit. A wimpy iron short-sword it was, rusted and chipped as though he had found it in a smugglers’ cave.

The man hacked at Konrad again but the child dodged easily, his sword parrying the blows every time to stop the change of direction. Any fool would do that, the short-sword being easily manoeuvrable. Konrad struggled against the immense power of the man. The cracked blade came down again but Konrad swung at it with all his might, both hands on the hilt of his sword. The short-sword snapped in two and Konrad span round and kicked the man in the groin.

The massive figure bent over, his eyes popping and his mouth distorted in shock. Konrad acted quickly and lopped off his head. The dead body stayed standing, twitching violently. Konrad kicked him over then ran to the next set of huge doors and slammed them shut in another attacker’s face. He quickly grabbed the huge iron locking bar and nudged it into position, stopping any men entering for the time.
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Any critisism please! Be as harsh as possible.

Well... well.. its hard to say anything bad about it IMO.. Its very good written, dont think I could have done it better myself so guess its up to the more skilled writers to critisise you

I think its really good... Only thing is maybe to post more at the time

Like Fuzzy said, it's very good! Lots of details, me likey!

The only thing that bugs me is the 'The beast of a man was about 6’4”'. I hate it when they do this in stories. How does the character himself/herself know almost the exact measurement? How about 'was nearly six feet tall' or something?

Also, 'She wrote in very spidery writing, very hard to read.' Why do we care? Is Konrad looking at it? Do the battle-combatants can not read it? I think this is a bit unnecessary, as it kind of kills the flow of the story, no offense.

Besides those little complaints, the story's well-written, very detailed, and action-packed so please keep up the good work!

I felt that as well. I as going to add more to that, but then I decided not to and forgot to delete that bit. You can tell measurements. At school I can tell nearly everyone's size. Also why would I put nearly 6 foot ? He's 4 inches over that.


Thanks for all the comments... I'll maybe write more sometime this month.

You tell the exact height? Not to mention, isn't your character too busy in a combat-sort-of situation to really notice that? I mean, if I were him, I would be pumped with adrenaline ready to fight instead of inspecting for a man's exact height.

It's like a criminal on the run, who notices a bystander's looks down to the exact detail, when he should be concentrating on running away. Know what I mean?

But, then again, you could be writing in the speciall 3rd person view, in which the author reveals everything from everyone's point of view not just the main character's.

Oh, I'm sorry! I'm rambling.

Please continue this story and keep up the good work on the details!

Ha, i totally understand you if that helps. I will try to go by your standards great Mergirl.

I liked most of it but whoever said the fight scene was too short I definately have to agree with them. It's a good story so don't get discouraged, keep writing.

Jepp.. Agree with Kiln, your story is very good and I'll critisise if I feel a need to, hehe..

Another update for you....shock horror in this one!

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Konrad just stood there. He was in an apparent state of shock, his eyes blank and his sword hanging limply from his barely clutching hand. Lances started piercing through the stubborn oak doors and great cracks were rent through it. Finally the boy came back to life, running back down the hall, his head bent low. He burst out onto the training grounds, crying out.

“We’re being attacked! Man all walls! We’re being attacked!” Konrad shouted out across the whole area, his voice magnified by the acoustics and acting as a clarion call to all inside. The whole yard teemed with life as all ages unsheathed their swords and dashed up the perfectly carved stone steps to the heavily fortified walls.

Konrad followed his rival up the stairs. Luca bounded up 3 at a time, unaware to Konrad’s presence. Konrad took his place next to him, then stood to his full height and looked across the town. It seemed the whole crowd had been a band of fighters. The women were all screaming manically and waving clubs with various things sticking through them; nails, other sword, forks and shards of glass were all stuck in the various weapons. The children were all wielding short bows, and finding their range slowly.

Konrad ducked as an arrow flew quickly above his head, then scurried around for his shield. Failing to find his tower shield he picked up a nice looking round shield, the design in the middle a very intricate tableau. There was a Dunmer standing on a golden mask, with a volcano behind him. The centre was painted with reds golds and blues, but the outside of it was simple metal and wood.

Konrad found his place next to Luca again, and wished him luck. His rival, forgetting any hate, patted him on the shoulder and wished him at the very least an honourable death. Konrad nodded to him, and turned back to the tide. He wondered where the imperial guard were, then frowned as he saw the nearest guard tower with the guards in a heap at the front of it tied up and nearly naked. Then the assault came…

The children let out a pathetic volley of arrows, only one hitting a target somewhere down the line on a veteran warrior. He grunted, then twisted the arrow and pulled it out, throwing it behind him. The women then charged and tried to scale the walls, but failed against the slippery flatness of granite. The men carried small ladders and placed them up against the walls. They were just not tall enough, so the child warriors could not kick them down.

The barbarians scaled savagely, shouting up at the frightened children above them. To the right of Konrad there was an archery teacher. She loosed arrows at a remarkably fast rate, the ladder near them soon clear of soldiers and being left alone. For the moment the students were holding the men back, the weaponry excelling greatly over their meagre attempts at blades.

The men and women regrouped behind strategically placed barrels. Konrad had killed only one, Luca dispatching of three.

“It looks like the headmaster’s son has forgotten all his skills in a real battle, doesn’t it?” he jeered threateningly, cleaning his sword.

The attackers assaulted again. There was exactly the same thing happening, they weren’t learning. Konrad now had the annoying voice of Luca piping up more often, a chance to annoy ‘the headmaster’s son’ never been passed. Konrad thought about accidentally stabbing him in the heat of battle, but shook that thought off and tried something else a lot more ludicrous.

Under the cover of Reyla the archer’s shots he leapt down the ladder, landing among the warriors.
‘This will get my kill count up’ he thought jokingly, slicing at two women. They fell instantly, Konrad’s sword weaving through both their necks. Attacked from all sides Konrad ducked down, his shield raised above his head. He felt the rain of blow smack against the shield, the vibrations knocking him down even more. Trying to take advantage of his low position, Konrad span quickly. His sword took off the feet of the six attackers surrounding him. Smiling he raised up, and stepped on one of the fallen.

The attackers seemed to be finally retreating, broken by the loss of so many. Konrad ran for the ladder, crawling up it like a lizard. Regretting being shorter than the huge men he leapt for the wall, his fingers just curling around the top of it. He tried to lift himself up, but was incredibly weak from all the fighting.

“Luca! Help!” he cried out above him, the smug face of his rival leering down. Konrad lost grip with one of his hands and Luca finished the job off, stamping mercilessly on the other. Konrad fell to the ground with a sickening crack, one of his legs broken. Three barbarian women ran forwards and carried him away to the retreating men, one of them falling to Reyla’s bow.

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ah..finally caught up on this story....very good Konrad...really it is, this last part was vividly written.....keep it up!

Agree with Minque.. Very good written indeed..

I just read your story, very nice

Hehe, its been a while since I've read anything including attacking barbarians.

A bit of comic relief before my next update.


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Konrad mumbled, rolling around in his sleep. He had been unconscious for a couple of days now, the women tying up his leg to help it heal. There had been uproar from the leader of the tribe that they had lost, and he had almost slaughtered Konrad as he slept in his anger. He had been stopped by the mercy of the carers of the child, and had returned to his throne.

The imperial awoke slowly, rubbing his eyes and cringing from the pain of his leg. He noticed he was alone, and in a bottle neck dungeon. Many half filled bottles of potion laced the wall, some dripping slowly and leaving congealed red goo on the floor. He stood, and tried to jump out of the prison, hopping around on one leg. He failed miserably, and sunk back to the ground, nearly drowning.

A fat man entered the room, garnished extravagantly (as well as a sprig of rosemary) in expensive attire. He wore a pure white shirt, and well kept red trousers. He had curly pink shoes on his feet, and he expressed an aura of feminine quality. He waddled into the room, and glared at Konrad. Konrad rose his head and glared back at him, wondering how he had entered the room. His questions were soon answered as a hopping mad Khajit bounded through what seemed like solid wall…obviously an illusion.

“E’Kkal was not expecting us to visit the child yet, no he wasn’t!” he screamed ashe put his other leg down, seemingly irate at the plump man.
“Hush, beast. I am your king, remember.” The camp man told the Khajit. The feline seemed to just notice Konrad and hissed at him, his anger deflating. Konrad stood up gingerly, and addressed the man.

“Hello, Nord. Why have you taken me here?” Konrad asked, trying to draw his sword but finding no sheath apparent. The man looked at him in shock, then drunk a potion of resistance.

“Only rise when I tell you to!” barked the man, for some reason suddenly wanting to eat a skeleton bone. Konrad hastily sat down again, chewing his lip. After he had finished, he raised an eyebrow at the fat man, who was now chewing the bone.

“Are you going to do anything then?” he asked, picking up courage once more and placing it on a table. The man shook his head, smiling. Konrad put his eyebrow down again and sighed.

“I shall wait for 5 years, then you shall marry my daughter. That’s about it,” he declared, motioning to an ugly mare that had somehow crept in. Konrad reeled back, but eventually let her go.

“I have no choice then?” he asked.

“None whatsoever,” the man told him chuckling quietly.

Konrad needed to find a way out, and fast.

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Nice.

Poor Konrad, but he deserves it.

Heh, very long awaited update.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Konrad watched the man and his daughter leave the room, sighing to himself. He surveyed the area, escape in mind. A solitary guard was standing where the fake wall was, his imposing figure silhouetted with the lack of light in the small room. Konrad decided there were two ways out. One way was through the small gap in the ceiling, which would mean he was free instantly and could scarper. The other way was past the guard and through the fortress. Even if he did manage to get past the guard, he didn’t know how many more were there.

He walked around the room casually, checking every detail and mapping the route of his escape in his mind. He had opted for the former choice, and was finding out all the cracks in the ancient wall that he could manipulate to make a ladder and get out of there. The shadowed Nord followed Konrad’s movements with his beady eyes, shining through the darkness and locking onto him. The Nord seemed to growl at him for a moment, then Konrad realised he was being spoken to.

“…ance of getting out of here,” the man told him, nodding upwards to the ceiling. “There are traps laid over the hole in the ceiling so that vermin like you can be killed easily. Besides don't think I wouldn’t notice you, you Imperial scumbag, taking away...” the Nord carried on for some time about Imperial rule.

Konrad mumbled something about Nordic bathing principles and ended his circling of his cell. He had decided to face the guard and get a weapon first, seeing as he needed one. He walked up to him and stared for a second, before bringing his leg up straight between the Nord’s legs.

He heard a thump and the Nord keeled over, seemingly in a lot of pain.

‘He must have liked me after all…’ Konrad thought as he stripped the guard of his sword and armour. He strapped it all on then slammed the hilt of sword into the Nord’s head, knocking him unconscious. He picked up the body with a heave, dragging him to the other side of the room.

He stole out of the room carefully, keeping his sword up in case of any more frisky Nords. He turned left down a high but narrow tunnel, seeing a light source at the end of the corridor. He crept up to it and tried to look underneath the door, a bright light radiating from the crack. Failing, but now unexplainably excited, he burst through the door.

The fat king’s 23 Argonian guards all looked from Konrad, to his sword, then back to Konrad before screaming an undecipherable war cry and charging at him. Konrad swore and turned back again, slamming the door behind him as he charged down the way he had come.
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Ok, another update. Seems I'm starting to write again.


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As Konrad flew past the magical door he had came from he glanced through it and saw the Nord just waking up, burbling slightly. He grinned and continued on, the frenzied cries of the Argonians behind him.

He eventually made it to a fork, the two rock corridors branching out either deeper into the mountain or to freedom. Konrad took the left fork to keep in sync with his step. Just as he passed the chance of going down the other fork seven more Argonians came wandering around the corner, apparently slightly tipsy. Konrad skidded to a halt. He turned back to go the other way, and came face to face with the fastest of the Argonians in the group that was following.

Konrad felt a slash across his stomach and looked down. The Argonian had slit his finger across Konrad’s abdomen, leaving a thin line of trickling blood. Konrad grunted slightly, then kicked the beast in the legs, trying to trip him up.

The warrior lifted his left leg quickly, easily dodging the attempt. Konrad growled then just elbowed the Argonian in the face, sending it reeling back. He took advantage of this and kicked at the beast again. It fell to the floor, disorientated.

Konrad stepped on him and leapt into another Argonian, sending him tumbling to the floor. He scrambled up then ran down the other tunnel. He continued on, 30 enemies now chasing. He again reached another fork and again tried to go left, this time his path granted. He started to tire, the endless running too much.

Ahead of him he could finally see the opening, with a guard standing in front of it. The Orc covered the whole gap with his massive form, helped by a large shield and a double headed axe. Konrad had not seen one of these before…but he didn’t want a closer look.

He charged at the Orc, raising his hand and roaring at him. To Konrad’s surprise the Orc flew backwards, grunting confusion as he seemingly levitated into a sharp jutting out rock. The rock pierced the back of the Orc, emerging through its stomach.

Konrad quirked a brow but ignored it for the time being, going around the rock and out to freedom. He came up to a steep slope and looked back, the Argonians coming up quickly behind. He jumped.

The slope went quickly, a succession of shouts and screams accompanying around 57 rolls and 3 broken bones. Konrad spat out some blood and got up when he had hit the bottom, limping away. The Argonians hissed and laughed at him from the top of the cliff, not bothering to follow.
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I've left my uh....0 readers on a cliff hanger in this one!

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Konrad stumbled along the dirt path carved ruggedly into a vast sea of evergreens. He had been marching for four days now, his legs weary from the endless toil. He had been thinking these past few days about life…he knew it was going to end soon.

‘I vow never to do anything wrong again…’ he thought, before tripping over a log and falling face first onto the track again. He pushed himself up slowly with his right arm, his left arm broken badly from his fall. He carried on, now incredibly thirsty after being stupid enough not follow the river he had found two days previous.

Ahead of him the forest was getting sparser, the trees now letting in a fair amount of golden sun and lighting up the jaunty limes of the forest floor. Konrad sighed, stumbling once more and holding onto a tree for balance. He carried on stubbornly.

As he reached the end of the forest he grinned broad, then jumped up and down laughing. He had found Cyrodiil Lake! He dove in, gasping as his broken arm hit the water. He grinned again regardless of the pain, splashing about with his free arm and drinking in the water.

He swam in the direction of the city now, knowing exactly where he was. Soon it would come into view, the great city, and he would be saved. He continued on, but soon realized he was incredibly tired. His eyelids fighting for control he let them take over, floating on the lake and snoring slightly.

He woke up just as the sun was going into its routine slumber, the amber aura weaving its way through the great city next to Konrad and sending great shadows laid out thin. Konrad looked around him, now on familiar terrain. He had miraculously floated just by the city’s drawbridge, so pushed off the shallow bottom of the lake and hooked his fingers around the open gate.

He clambered up to be met by 2 swords, both placed neatly below his chin. Konrad thought about dropping down again, but feared his head wouldn’t.

“What is your business here son, sneaking onto the drawbridge?” the smaller guard asked.

“Probably a spy coming to kill the emperor!” roared the larger, and obviously more paranoid, one. After a long discussion about whom and what he was, and eventually how they should kill him, Konrad butted in.

“Uh…I live here. I have been missing for some days as I was taken by the attackers of the sword school.” He told them, lightly pushing their swords away and continuing his struggle up. The guards let him on, confused.

“Sword school? You mean that big pile of rubble?” the small one asked, sheathing his sword. Konrad blinked in shock then ran away from them and into the town square.
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yeah! woah.....several additions to catch up with.....good work Konrad! really....

Another update.

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Konrad staggered backwards, his mouth agape. All that was left was the foundations of the once noble Sword School, and a small plaque in the centre. Konrad shuffled to it, wondering what it would say.

It was obviously a memorial; Konrad could have guessed that from a mile away. On it were about 30 names, all neatly engraved. At the top were the teachers of the school, with the students beneath. Konrad read the first name…then crumpled to the floor and wept. It was his father.

He cried for several hours before an old man finally went over to him and asked what was wrong.

“Ah…nothing.” Konrad replied, standing up and turning round. He glanced back at the memorial again and searched through the names quickly. Luca wasn’t on. Konrad found this odd, but shrugged it off and walked briskly back home.

Konrad knocked on the door casually, leaning on the wall by the side of the house. His older sister, Iulia, opened it. She looked out coldly into the darkening street. It was a few moments before she noticed Konrad.

“Hey no more pr…! Konrad?” she stood there, confused. Konrad grinned slightly, walking past his dumbstruck sister and into the kitchen. His mother was crying at the table. Konrad looked around again and breathed in the familiar smell of his home. Along the mantelpiece were many pictures of Leontus and Konrad, all with flowers in front of them.

His mother was facing away from him, and had not heard nor seen him enter. Konrad shook her shoulder.

“Mother, I’m home.” He said, standing straight to hopelessly hide his injuries.
His mother turned slowly, then nearly fainted from the shock of seeing her son again.

“Konrad! I thought you were...” she cried, embracing him. Konrad didn’t return the hug.

“Dead? Well let’s just say I was and leave it at that eh?” he suggested, breaking free from his mothers grasp.

“Your father…” his mother mumbled, unable to finish the sentence.

“I know. But Luca wasn’t on the plaque, do you know why?” he asked, very suspicious about this. His mother heard his words then sunk back onto her chair again, crying.
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Here ends chapter 1 of Konrad's story.


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Konrad waited patiently, wondering why exactly his mother had just started crying. When she had finally finished, she sniffled and told him a small story.

“When you were captured there was a small funeral, but the Sword School continued and was getting pretty good. One day, when Luca didn’t show up, your father sent out one of the teachers to find him. Luca returned a couple of hours after that, holding in his arms the dead teacher. He told them all he had done it and that he was going to kill the rest of them. I was there. I ran just as your father charged for Luca…” she paused, sighing and downing one of what seemed many glasses of brandy.

“Continue mother, I must know the answer to my question!” Konrad pressed.

His mother put the glass down and wiped her lips with the back of her grubby sleeve, then proceeded to finish the tale.

“I just got out in time. Luca must have been a powerful magician, the blade never hit him. A blade of light fell on the ground of the school, then the light turned to flames and explosions. The School was rent apart, utterly destroyed. I just stayed conscious enough to see Luca walking away, then fainted.” She finished.

Konrad nodded, then turned away. He went to the door and passed Iulia, his head down. She grabbed him from behind, now in tears also.

“Don’t go and try to find him Konrad!” Iulia cried, holding him back. Konrad turned to her and stared for a second. He broke away.

“I must…”
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Niiiicesss...

How constructive.

Conssstructive? Konradsess, issss good story...

It just looks like you've got a lisp. And you don't actually have the ring in real life.

What?! They givesss ussss cheap imitationsssesss! Tricksssy hobbitssess! We hatesss them!

Be politically correct, they are called Dwarfs.

Halflingses, not Dwarfses.

Nice...Hey what does drizzt do when he is pleased/ Or Bruenor?

I would answer you if I knew who the hell these peiople were.

Ok, the next update.

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Chapter 2

Konrad walked slowly down the snowy trail, brushing a bit of frost off his bread and taking yet another bite. All he ever seemed to do was eat bread, and he was getting bored now his passion for killing Luca had faded.

“Konrad…?” Iulia asked, pushing in front of him and standing in his way. He still wasn’t sure how she had managed to follow him and eventually persuade him to take her along. “Konrad, I think I should be given that piece of bread because…” she continued, but once again Konrad blocked her out. It was all he ever seemed to be doing any more, well, that and eating bread.

He passed over the bread without argument, walking past her and continuing his trek. He had seen Luca only once so far, only a few days earlier, who had told him to travel to the big forest. Konrad had found little help in this, with their being big forests everywhere you looked. Luca had run off at an incredible speed, with Konrad deciding just to follow in the direction he had gone to.

He heard a call behind from his sister.

“I’m just having a toilet break Konrad! Wait for me!” Iulia shouted to him, diverting off the track and into some bushes. Konrad heard, but did not stop. He had developed coldness in his soul, his whole being now focused on killing Luca.

He carried on for half an hour without looking back, then remembered his sister. He glanced behind him, but saw no sight of her in the incoming blizzard. He turned round sighing, then went back up the hill to find her.

After the swifter hike uphill he reached the rough area where she had gone off the track. He scrambled down the banking from the raised pathway. The bushes all looked the same to him, so he spent valuable time looking for her.

He caught sight of her travelling cloak and rushed towards it, irate.

“How long can it take, I mean….?!” He broke off, staring down at the fallen body in front of him. He bent down, rolling his sister onto her front.

A dagger was pierced into her stomach, obviously attacking from behind. Konrad remembered back to seeing Thografe lying dead with a dagger stuck through his back. He held his sister to him and stayed silent, thinking on how to get revenge from Luca.

He retrieved the dagger from his sister and wrapped it to his boot with some cloth used for injuries. He picked her up and threw her further down the banking, lost forever. He couldn’t bury her without tools, and he didn’t want to take her to a some settlements. The guards would be all over him.

Konrad watched her limp body roll solemnly. It was Luca’s fault, and he wasn’t slipping away from Konrad’s grasp any more.
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Finally caught up with your story Konrad, your writing is very good - and in my opinion it seems to improve very much as you post more and more updates, so keep it up - I really enjoy it mate!

Yes...what he just said...very good!