Ok. I threw this together the other night. Have more to add to it but have to think on it. The first Chapter.

Chapter 1: The Story of Mazuk

Starting as a child, I was raised by my mother and father in a hut on the out skirts of Bolmora. I am not sure of his profession as he did not talk about it that much. I toke it from the teaching and training that I received from him that he was a fighter. He would leave and be gone for long periods of time before he would return. My mother would just tell me that he is out on quests and that is all I knew.

At the age of 10 my father started training me to fight using a sword. When he was home he would spend many hours teaching me different techniques to be used in combat. He thought me different ways to attack by using the thrust and the slashing method, and also different ways to counter those attacks. Due to him being gone so much he wanted me to be able to protect my mom. While he was gone I would practice and build my strength and speed.

A few years have passed and I am 15 now, been keeping up with my training and getting knowledge from my father from time to time when he is home. Each time my father comes home he gives me more knowledge of using the sword and teaching me new things along with teaching me skills. He hands me a package and tells me to open it. The package is long and narrow. I start to open the package and notice a green glow coming from it. I get the paper off of it to find a ebony long blade with a beveled grove from right above the hand to about three inches from the tip of the blade, on both sides with a green color in the grove making it glow green. The sword was one of the nicest swords I had ever seen. After pondering awhile I finally came up with the name “The Eye of the Wolf” why I am not sure, but that is the name of my sword. I practiced with the sword for hours and hours until I could use it rather well. The blade was longer than I was use to so had to get the feel of it.

My father has been gone for almost a year now and has not returned. I wonder what had happened to him and rather I should go looking for him. I had to think hard on the fact because then that would be leaving my mother by herself, and I couldn’t do that because I promised my father I would protect her. So I just practice more and read books to gain more knowledge and intelligence. I went into the hut that night to get some sleep, laying down on the bedroll reading one of the books I had and dosed off. I was awoken by some noises coming from outside and the screams I heard from my mom. I got up and grabbed my sword and ran outside to find five orcs standing there. Two of them where facing my mom, and the other three seen me come out. Those three drew there swords and starting coming towards me. They are all wearing orcish armor and alls I have is light armor. I figure that I will have to try and use my speed and agility to out maneuver them.

Watching them move closer to me I know I have to think my attacks wisely. The orcs attack and I move swiftly out of the way. I then thrust at the closest orc to me and hit him in the left arm. I look to the left to see another orc slash at me. I get my sword to the defense in time to deflect his mighty blow knocking me to the ground and cutting my arm. I then realize that they have more strength than me and I must use speed and agility if I am to defeat them. I then thrust in to attack one of them and get grazed by another in the side. My thrust was blocked, but I managed to get turned around in the direction that I got hit from quickly slashing at him and caught him in the neck cutting main veins. Blood spewing out of his neck he hit the ground like a ton of bricks. I then turn to back up and look at the remaining two orcs. I see them charging at me, with my adrenaline running through my veins I block the first attack then slash at the other orc. Our sword cling together, I know he has more strength then me so I quickly counter the stale mate by moving around him. Then I push my sword through his back. At this time I see the other orc coming at me with his blade over his head. I quickly move as his sword thuds the ground and slash at him taking his head off. Watching his head hit the ground with blood spiting everywhere. I look over to where my mom was with the last two. I see my mom lying in front of them, so I charge at them. One of them hits me in the side of the head and I go crashing to the ground.

I come around hours later to find them gone and my mom lying there mangled. I crawl to her realizing I have failed at protecting her. I slowly make it to my feet and make my way back into the hut. I am too weak to go anywhere from all my wounds and a lot of blood lose. I was grateful to see our friend the healer show up. I could barely make him out as he walks in looking at me I drifted away. As I awoke I was still rather weak but he had healed me of my wounds. While I was out he had taken the orcs and my mom and buried them. He took care of me until I was strong enough to get back in action. I found my sword at the doorway of the hut. Was glad to see that it was still with me, but wondering why I was left alive and why they did not take anything.

I now realize my skills was not what I had thought they where, and that I would need more training. I was taken to Bolmora by the healer. He lives there and could help me find what I was looking for. He showed me the places I could go to get the training and skills I needed. It was not in my attention to avenge my mother; I had failed at protecting her, but I did vow to learn and train until I was a master at fighting. I ventured around Bolmora and found a trainer, where I trained and studied books. Years of training have passed and my trainer told me there was no me he could teach me. He has thought me all he can, and now it is time for me to venture out into the land. So I leave Bolmora looking for what I do not know.

Don't be to hasty on me but all is welcome.

:goodjob: <-- my opinion summarized

Anyway, great job. Mainly because I find it a good length, not too long. Also because it's in first person.

MORE FOR ME!!

Please



EDIT: Yeah I read fast, nice character development.

I am having a block I can't figure out where to take it from there but my mind is working hope to update sometime today or tomorrow.

Also Thank You.

[quote=Mazuk]I am having a block I can't figure out where to take it from there but my mind is working hope to update sometime today or tomorrow.

Also Thank You.[/quote]

When you get that, eat some ice cream.

The sugar will speed you up. Yipeee!

I don't know if it'll work, but maybe I should try it . . .

I might try that later... yum Ice Cream.

I like it. Not many stories written in first person present...

You had better post an update as soon as you get over your block...

I am so honorably trying..

Very good! :goodjob: Some grammar and spelling errors, but it is nice and neat. Good beginning. And now I shall wait for more!

[quote=MerGirl]Very good! :goodjob: Some grammar and spelling errors, but it is nice and neat. Good beginning. And now I shall wait for more! [/quote]


AAH MY EYES! They can't....take....the cuteness....of mergirl's avatar.....

back on topic....

cant wait until your writer's block is over!!!

I am working on it now. I am hoping it isn't to weird. TY MerGirl, not to good with grammer and stuff but I try..Its a work in progress..lol.

Well I have Chapter 2 done but not sure its all that good, but here you go.

Chapter 2: The Story of Mazuk

I venture around the lands in search of something. At the point of not knowing what I wanted to find. I wonder around fighting when I have too. Although I have been trained for many years in the art of using a sword, my skills are still not where I want them. Fighting in combat is where the real skill comes from. I have learned that you can only be taught so much in the fighting style; the rest comes from doing what you have learned to master the art of fighting. I realize the armor that I have will not be effective enough in to many battles, and that I need to find a way to make money. I venture on to find a town so that I can find some work.

After walking for days I come across a town. I look around and ask some of the people where I could find somewhere to get cleaned up. A couple of them told me that the Skur Inn at some rooms that could be rented. I approached the building and walked in, I found a few people drinking and chatting. I walked up to the bar and asked the bar keep where I could find a place to get cleaned up and if he knew where I might find work. He told me that I could get cleaned up and get rest upstairs in one of the rooms for a fee of 10 gold. Then he said as for work, go downstairs and speak with a man named Mazar. I told him thank you and proceeded downstairs to speak with Mazar. As I got downstairs I saw a short figure in the left corner of the room. He was standing there looking around, so I approached him and asked about some work. He told me that he had some work for me if I wanted it but first I would have to join the thieves’ guild. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a thief but I really need some money. He gave me the rules of the guild and asked if I wanted to join or not. I accepted and then asked about work.

He asked that I go to retrieve a sword called Devil’s Tote, from a house to the right when leaving the town. I exited the Skur Inn and proceeded to find this house. I finally found the house. I was lucky to find the house unlocked so I went in. I search around downstairs and found nothing. I proceeded upstairs, where I found an old wooden chest. I attempted to open it and found it locked. I pulled out my lockpick and attempted to unlock it, after a few times of trying I finally got it unlocked. As I opened the chest a yellow glow come from the chest. It was the sword glowing yellow so I picked it up and went on with my business. I left the house and proceeded back to the Skur Inn to meet with Mazar. I entered the Skur Inn and headed downstairs. I walked up to Mazar and he asked if I retrieved the sword. I gave him the sword and he paid me 300 gold. I returned upstairs to the bar keep and asked for a room. He replied we have a couple and said it would cost 10 gold, I paid him the 10 gold and headed upstairs to find my room. I when in the room and found some cloths and a bucket of water for me to clean up with. I dropped my armor and set my sword by the bed to get cleaned up a bit before resting. I wiped myself off with the cloth taking a lot of the dirt and grime off of me. I lay down in the bed and recalled how easy it was to steal that sword for some gold. Although I did not like the idea of having to steal I figured it would work for now. While thinking about what to do next I drifted into a deep sleep.

I awoke after a decent sleep and felt a pain in my stomach. I was hungry so decided to find somewhere to get something to eat. I put my armor back on and grabbed my sword placing it on my back. Then I headed downstairs to exit the inn. I noticed a trade shop across the road and went to check out what food they had. I entered the shop and seen some bread lying on the table. I asked about buying some bread and the trader told me he had a few loaves left. I bought them and proceeded out the door to see if Mazar had anymore jobs for me. I returned to the inn to talk to Mazar about some more jobs. I entered the inn and went downstairs. I approached him and asked about anymore jobs he might have. I did a few more jobs for him and then decided to move on.

I left the town going north. I started to notice that there are dwellings and caves here and there that I might be able to explore and get items to sell. I come up on one of these dwellings not sure what to expect or to find inside. I venture into this dwelling. Once in the dwelling I walk slowly looking around for things I might be able to sell. I see something pass by in front of me. I slowly make it up to the corner and glance around it. What is the creature of bones I see? I have never seen anything like this. It notices me and starts coming at me. I draw my sword and get ready for battle. He swings swiftly at me but I dodge his swing and slash at him hitting him directly in the chest. Watching the dust fly off of his bones I can tell this is going to be a long battle. We battle back in forth for a good time. Blades are clashing together and blood flying. I have been wounded a few times during this battle but I finally defeat this skeleton. I realize I might not be ready to deal with to many of these creatures so I turn and leave the dwelling. It is best if I venture to another town to be healed and do some reading on these creatures.

After a few days of travel I come upon a town. I asked a guard I seen at the gate if there is a healer in this down and he points me to a building straight ahead. He says that is the Mage Guild and they should be able to help you with your wounds. I walk to the building and continue into the building. I find a few people in here and start asking around for a healer. One of them tells that the healer is upstairs. So I head upstairs to find this healer. Once at the top of the stairs I see someone standing in the center of the room. I walk up to her and ask about a healer. She says “my name is Sereus the healer,” and I see you have many wounds. She proceeds to heal my wounds, once done I thank her for her hospitality and ask about where I could find some books. Sereus tells me that there is a bookstore two buildings down from this one. I thank her again and proceed to the bookstore to read up on some of these creatures. I buy a few books from the bookstore and venture to find an inn. I enter into the inn and get a room, once in the room I begin to read these books on all the different creatures. I am rather amazed I did not know about these.

I hope this is as good as the first part. Enjoy.

ahhh, at last I´ve come to comment this, I was going to yesterday but too much got in the way!! Now I think your story is very good , really it is, those minor typos are easy removed by running a spell- and grammar-check so that´s nothing really.

If I may say something I think you should consider paragraphing a little bit more, it makes it a lot easier to read.....


But apart from that, a nice story and I sincerely hope you will continue writing!

:goodjob: :goodjob:

So your saying to break the paragraphs into smaller groups. Ok I can do that I think.

Edit: we are all busy at times. As I look at it, it is here for anyone to read when they get a chance.

Now I just got to figure out where to go from there..LOL :confused:

Yes! Exactly , smaller paragraphs are lot easier to read and follow!

And I think you´re doing just fine, you´ll figure something out! you don´t have to post everyday, just when you feel like it and have a good plot or so!!

:goodjob: :goodjob:

Ok I will try and lessen my paragraphs. ty.

good update!

How was the ice cream?

Good job with the new post. :goodjob:

Well I did without the ice cream had subert instead. LOL

Thank You.