Gods

The Council of Gods

The Council of the Gods. They govern the realms.

Bane - God of War and Destruction; Chaotic Evil. Commonly called, "The Warlord of the Gods" or "The General of the Abyss." His skin is black as midnight and his eyes as red as blood. He wears a suit of black platemail with runes of war and chaos skittered onto it.

Lord Kalian - God of Magick; True Neutral. Commonly called, "The Mage-King" or "The Lord of the Arcane." His skin is blue, the natural color of magick. He wears dark blue robes and keeps the hood up. The deity is rarely seen in his natural form.

Mistress Samantha Star - God of Love; Lawful Good. Commonly called, "The Scarlet Princess" or "The Sweet Lady." A very pale-skinned god, much like a high elf. Her hair is silvery and she wears a red robe.

Sir Talarin - God of Bards and Stories; Chaotic Good. The God of Bards is extremely strange. No one knows his true form, because he changes quite a lot.

The Wanderer - God of Roads; True Neutral. He looks like a normal human wearing commoner's clothes. His hair is red and he has a goatee.

Arch Duke Drakos - God of Dragons; Lawful Good. Commonly called, "The Scaled One." Scales cover this god's entire body. He has rope-like scales that are similar to hair. He wears a suit of silvery god-plate platemail.

Lord Fenix - God of Manipulation; Lawful Evil. He is rarely seen in his true form. When he is, it's a black robe, and a body similar to Drakos'.

Lord Thomas Flamewhisper - God of Fire; True Neutral. Commonly called, "The Flame-King" or "The Fiery Dominator." The Flame-King is pure, living fire. Bound only by the red robes tailored with elemental flame.

Lord Samuel Stonethrower - God of Earth; True Neutral. Commonly called, "The Earth-Lord." The Earth-Lord's skin is gray as the stone he commands. His armor is only a suit of chainmail made of steel.

Lord Victor Aeroheart - God of Air; True Neutral. Commonly called, "The Airy Watcher." Lord Aeros wears mummy-wrappings to contain his body. He is pure air and wears a robe to cover the wrappings.

Lady Evangeline Frostblood - God of Water; True Neutral. Commonly called, "The Ice-Queen." The Icy Queen has blue skin and wears black platemail. Her armor has icicles hanging off of it.

Sir Mythaniel - God of Retribution and Valor; Lawful Neutral. Commonly called, "The Avenger." The Avenger wears a suit of shining platemail and uses a longsword and kite-shield. No one has ever seen him not in his armor.

Guillerman Kas - God of Destruction; Chaotic Evil. Guillerman has red skin and demonic horns sprouting from his skull. He wears a pair of black pants, black boots, and a cuirass made from the bone of his fallen enemies.

Thule Kas - God of Fear; Chaotic Evil. The God of Fear has no true form. He appears to be whatever inspires the most fear in those who surround him.

Mordo Kas - God of War; Chaotic Evil. Mordo is the most sadistic of the Kas brothers. He is always in the form of an orc with black skin and a suit of chainmail.

Lord Vayris - God of the Undead, Shadows, and Betrayal; Lawful Evil. Lord Vayris' flesh is rotting, his hair is white. His armor is black robes with the hood up. He wields a staff created by the flesh and spirit of Angels and Demi-Gods.

Tribunal

The Creators of Mathoc.

God-King Elementius - God of the Elements; True Neutral (Older-Sibling of Twilight). He looks like a normal human. However, he wears robe of all four elements.

God-King Chronos - God of Time; True Neutral (Consort of Twilight). The God of Time looks like a darkal. He has gray skin and white hair. His robe is made of the very essence of time and is white.

God-Queen Twilight - Goddess of Night ad Day; True Neutral. (Consort of Chronos). The Queen of Night and Day looks like a High Elf in the Day and a Dark Elf in the Night. In the day, her hair is silver and her skin is pale. In the night, her skin is gray and her hair is black.

Demon Lords

Overlord Banespirit

High Council Leader Vayris

Councilor Blacksoul

Councilor Shadowspirit

Councilor Bloodsoul

Councilor Ebonspirit

Councilor Voidbringer

Races

Darkal (Dark Elves. The dark-skinned, light-haired elves of the Shadowdark. Originally Hyekal, but after King Alu'Kar Everlight declared the Noble family, House Slyth outlaws, they had to hide for hundreds of years. Over time they evolved to match their surroundings.)
Hyekal (High Elves. The original breed of elves, that consider themselves to be above the rest. When the gods first experimented with races, elves were one of the first.)
Shakal (Shadow Elves, hybrids of Darkal and Hyekal. A rare and almost hated breed. They tend to either live with one of their parents. If they live with their Darkal parents, they tend to be seen as equals. If they live with their Hyekal parents, they're seen as servants or abominations.)
Halkal (Half-Elves. A mixture of elves and humans, they tend to look like humans, but with pointed ears and finer features.)
Monkal (Moon Elves. The Moon Elves are the second rarest of all elves. Rarely found anywhere in civilization, they're natural-born spell-casters. Rumor is they were born of a high-elven wizard who extracted the power of one of the three moons and was transformed.)
Wodkal (Wood Elves. The forest-dwelling elves are quite common in Dragonwood and Ranger and Druidic Organizations. They grew to their homes after their ancestors moved to the magickal forest of Dragonwood. The primal magick mutated them into the oak-skinned denizens they are now.)
Seakal (Sea Elves. After a mad-sorcerer tried to become a water-dweller the Lady Evangeline gave him his wish. The Seakal have gills and look like an amphibious humanoid.)
Drakal (Dragon Elves. They're the offspring of a dragon and an elf. They're by far the rarest. They look like an elf with claws and wings. They inherit the best of both races, the dragon's cunning intellect and amazing strength and the elf's charm and beauty.)

Orc (a war-like race that tends to live in tribes or empires. Some however have moved into civilized cultures as stonesmiths.)
Gnoll (dogmen, usually of neutral alignment if druids or evil if not)
Human
Spellblood Human (humans evolved via the use of magick)
Dragon (the most ancient race. They've defended the realms since the beginning of time.)

Orders and Factions

The White Shadows Assassins

An ancient order of assassins garbed in white. The uttering of their very name inspires fear in the mightiest of warlords and kings. It's rumored they've killed gods. To join the White Shadows, they must choose you. Any assassin not in their ranks is their enemy.

The Fighters' Guild

An guild of mercenaries dedicated to serving the most powerful authority in the lands.

The Mages' Guild

The guild of mages dedicated to the study of magick. It's not illegal to not be a member.

The Wizards of the Gray Council

The most powerful mages in the world. They seek to control the flow of magick in the realms.

The Guardians of the Gray Council

The military arm of the Gray Council.

The Assassins of the Gray Council

Hand-picked by Lord Fenix himself for servitude in the Assassin's Branch. They're chosen from the White Shadows most elite.

The Thieves of the Gray Council

The thieves that serve the Gray Council. Whenever the Gray Council needs theft, blackmail, or something else less-than-legal performed, these guys handle it.

The Gray Council

A group of the most powerful spellcasters in all the realms. Including Arcanikus.

The Thieves' Guild

If you're not a member of the thieves' guild and you steal, there'll be a bounty. For the White Shadows.

The Schools of Magick

School of Abjuration - The School of Abjuration is a college of wizards in the Western Mountains of Star's Reach. They live in a mountain that has been turned into an academy by the Headmaster. Getting admitted requires years of effort and study. Those who leave the School of Abjuration are called, "Abjurers" and tend to find positions as alchemists or apothecaries.

School of Alteration - The ability to fly, read minds, and even turn invisible come from this school. They live in a floating castle above the Black Marsh. Entrance requires being able to enter the Academy and not be killed by the traps. Those who leave the School of Alteration are called, "Alterners" and tend to find positions as loyalty-testers, teleportation wizards, and spies.

School of Conjuration - The ability to summon items. They can be used to fight, to eat, to read, to perform any task. To join the School of Conjuration, you must be able to successfully summon (and control) a high-ranking devil or a dragon-whelp. Those who leave are called, "Conjurers" and tend to find careers as Body-Guards, Chefs, and Adventurers.

School of Divination - The ability to see past lies and scry on people or objects. To join you must be able to find the School of Divination. It's invisible and rarely finds students. Very few leave the School of Divination without dying due to the lack of scrying the traps that are inside. Those who leave are called, "Diviners" and find positions as bounty-hunters or loyalty-testers.

School of Evocation - The ability to control the primal elements, fire, water, air, and earth. To join the School of Evocation, you must be able to control an elemental of each type. Those who leave are called, "Evokers," and find positions as Assassins and Military Spellcasters.

School of Necromancy - The ability to manipulate the flow of life and death. Those who join the School of Necromancy must kill another student to enter. Those who leave are called, "Necromancers," and find positions similar to that of Evokers and Conjurers.

School of General Studies - The School of General Studies teaches those who are students how to use some abilities of each school. None are as powerful as a specialized student of the other schools. To join the School of General Studies, you just must show you can cast a simple spell such as lighting a campfire or summoning a rat.

I always admire world building. However, Zalphon, I'm not seeing anything here that is really original or eye-catching. It seems like the start to your average gazeteer for Forgotten Realms/World of Greyhawk/Generic DnD Setting. You even use the DnD alignment system. If you're gonna go to that point, why not tell us what their Cleric domains are, or their favored weapon. I feel, when reading this, that it is made primarily for a PnP game of DnD.

Not that that's a bad thing, one of my worlds I've done a very similar thing. That's what my World of Rhume is for, to play Pathfinder on.

Is there any information you can give us the dieties? Maybe their avatar's appearance, their relationship with other gods, what their realm is like? How did the gods come to be? Were they created by an even higher being (Dievas/YHWH/Supreme Being of some sort), have they just always existed, or did they arise from formless Chaos like the primordial gods of Greek Mythology?

The Tribunal...God-Kings...That stretches my disbelief a bit because I know another world that has another set of God-Kings, also called the Tribunal.

Also, sometimes the names of the gods are a bit jarring. Bane I'm willing to ignore cause everyone uses that name, and he's always the exact same god in every mythos I've seen. But other names, like the elemental lords, or Sir Rhodes, they are just so uninspired.

Ok, races. I feel like there are too many elves. But what's the difference between them? Is it a cultural thing (High Elves live in beautiful cities and discuss philosophy, while wood elves live in trees and discuss nature), or is it based on appearance? Or both like Elder Scrolls?

Orcs. . I don't have a prejudice towards orcs, per se, but that just reinforces the feelings that this is a PnP world made for playing in. Also a warlike race, something straight out of my Monster Manual. And before anyone says that ES has orcs too, remember that it took until Morrowind for them to break the mold of being standard enemy number 1, and even now they are still pretty generic.

Now, that isn't to say you shouldn't include a war-like, scourge-like race that ravages the planet. Look at Dragon Age and the Dark Spawn. We ALL know those are orcs and goblins, there is no disputing that, but the lore-dudes put such a twist on it, that it makes them very fun and inspired; no longer being standard enemy number 1, but the twisted, sick, antagonists of Dragon Age.

Humans. Every good world needs humans.

Gnolls. Hmm...not something I see a lot of everyday, but still right outta the Monster Manual.

Ok, factions. White Shadows feel like Assassins Creed crossed with Dark Brotherhood.

Fighter's Guild, Mage's Guild, Thief's Guild, many settings have them, so it's excusable. Throw some twists in there to make them a little more appealing.

The Gray Council actually caught my eye for a minute. At first glace, to me, they seemed a lot like the mages of the World of Darkness, working behind the scene to make sure everything is ok for Joe Schmoe. But then I saw that they had connections with the divine and I groaned a little on the inside. This is more a personal taste, though, so others might feel different. In polytheistic settings, I really like to see conflict between the mortals and the divine, which fits with nature that we are beings afflicted with Pride. There was one thing that managed to cement my hate of Mystra in the Forgotten Realms, and that was how she could, theoretically, shut magic off to certain people. That has always upset me, in all settings, that contain a god/gods of magic. Magic should be something that can equal the playing field between mortal and immortal. That is something really attracts to me the World of Darkness. For all intents and purposes, mages are still mortal there, surrounded by vampires, werewolves, immortals, Franknenstein's Monster, Cosmic Horrors, ect ect, and they basically pimp-slap reality, telling it to get outta the way while they launch fireballs from their fingertips and boil blood with their mind. Gods don't need magic, they're gods, mortals do.

Anyway, Gray Council. On one hand they seem like a cool, behind the scenes guys, while on the other they look like the gods' errand boys.

I feel that what you have here is something to build up on; to twink and twist until it's something less DnD (unless that is what you're shooting for). Here are a list of things to think on, and I'll also give you an example from one of my worlds. I'm shameless, i know (NOTE: I do not present this as a definitive list, and I realize that all people have different views of what makes good fantasy.)

1. Religion: A pantheon of gods that embody certain aspects of mortal society is very status-quo. Why not shake things up a bit?

In my Cilgratis stuff, the Supreme Being is an active (named Ion in Rhonddan) force in my stories. But I also use a collection of spirits and quasi-dieties created by Ion to essentially administer to the Universe. Most of these spirits do not like Ion that much, and take their hate and anger out on mortals.

2. Technology and Society: I haven't got around to fully reading Dragon Tome yet, so I'm not really sure what Earth-Similar time period it's in, but from what I see it's either the sixth century, or the 15th century. Anyway, what is their society like, or their tech? Is the land a monarchy, republic, ect ect?

In my Cilgratis stuff, the main people I focus on are tent dwellers, don't know how to make metal armor, and their iron weapons are pieces of crap. However, their leather apparel and armor would be considered artwork on Earth, and weapons of bronze are of surpassing quality. For society, the people are divided into three llwyth (tribes), who can intermix or remain pure to form daliadau which are both clans and towns. These are ruled over by a deiliad that is basically a chief. This changes later on when a certain character kills another character and such such.

3. Groups and Factions: What you have now is alright, but what about more mundane factions? Is their a guild of masons, wainwrights, bakers? Historically, these kinds of groups did exist, and could wield a good deal of power depending on the situation. Always something to look into.

In my World of Rhume, the River Kyth Society, despite claims to the contrary, controls all the trade going up and down the River Kyth. They are able to do this because they've allied with Bay area craftguilds to form a coalition of sorts. Gives some interesting plots for my players.

Orcs aren't naturally evil as in DnD though.

And the Gray Council is led by a god. Arcanikus is just an honorary member.

Verlox, the different species of elves are different races. Yes, it's both appearance and culture. And to be perfectly honest, I actually came up with the idea for the White Shadows before Assassin's Creed. It's a monarchy (currently in the story). The Tribunal were the original deities. They've always been and always will be. The other gods were once mortals who rose to goddom through various tactics.

The reason the gods' names are so close to their domains is because I wanted them to be as much a part of them as theirselves. It's very 15th century for technology. Orcs tend to live in tribes or even empires, but many are members of society.

Of course there are common guilds, but I prefer to keep it to the ones that'll make a large impact on the story.

The Mages' Guild is extremely similar to House Telvanni of Morrowind. Arrogant, snide, and self-centered.

The Fighters' Guild is just a guild of men-at-arms for hire. They sell their services to the man with the most amount of money. To describe the upper-echelon of the Fighters' Guild in a word, "Corruption."

Thieves' Guild is a guild of thieves. If you're not a member and you steal, they'll kill you. They are the main crime sydnicate in the world. Even Monarchs and Bluebloods tend to use these people.

The White Shadows are nothing close to the Oblivion Dark Brotherhood. Much more like the Daggerfall Dark Brotherhood. They go where the money does. However, they're not cheap. They can put nobles in debt with a single kill, but they almost never fail.

The Gray Council actually doesn't serve the gods. The servants of the Gray Council (the various branches) answer to the Gray Council. They're led by Fenix, and Arcanikus has a position due to his skill with the Arcane. However, he doesn't lead it.

Gnolls are very common, to be fair, as are orcs.

No one can shut anyone off from magick. It's simply impossible. The only people who could even try is Arcanikus or Fenix.

By the way, this is no where near the number of races and guilds. Just a few samples currently.

Isn't this supposed to be TES fiction ?

But anyhoo, I tried my hand at world-building once ages ago, and you've fell into the exact same trap I did. Making a load of cliche names without any proper background or history is just going to look like you went on a name-generator website, copied the names you liked and then attributed them to whatever suited best. That's not a proper world. You need to flesh it out a bit more. I mean, there's so much stuff you have to create and integrate it into the setting that I couldn't honestly tell you where to start.

Also, try to avoid cliche names.

Some more bits.

Why not start small? Some people prefer top-to-bottom when it comes to world-building, but I've come to learn that that complicates things immensely. From what you have here, everything seems to be a hegemonic world with little variety, mostly cause we, as readers, have no juicy bits to look at. For myself, I found that hand-drawing a map to a peninsula that is attached to a greater continent, adding mountains and rivers ect ect where they make sense is the best way to start. Then decide who actually lives there. Are they racially exclusive, or they intermix. Are all the humans under one banner, or disconnected and have different practices and beliefs. What are the authorities (kingdoms, towns ect ect) in the area. Then move on to the history of that specific area. Once you're happy with that area, move onto a another one.

Verlox, I have that all written down somewhere. This world has been years in the making, and it's still growing. Yes, I've adopted Dungeons and Dragons creatures, but they do not OWN them. If they did, then Bethesda and every other fantasy gaming company is going to be sued for use of orcs, trolls, ogres, or something else.

Then why isn't that stuff here? Why is it that all I get to see is a list of rather boring, cliched gods, a smattering of races of which I know nothing about, and all the other stuff. If this world has been years in the making, where is all of it?

Granted, this is only post 9, but if all this has been written down already, then I would expect to see big old posts full of information, treatises, and lore on this world.


I think you totally misconstrued what I was getting at. Of course Wizards does not own them (except for a few, which is their intellectual property), but you could at least try to be original, instead of opening the Monster Manual.

Actually I didn't open the monster-manual. These creatures posted are generic fantasy ones with a bit of differences from their standard ones.

It's a figure of speech. And it doesn't change the fact that your critters are generic, unoriginal, and have no character despite your claim that this world has been years in the making.

Don't mistake me, I'm not trying to be a jerk here. I just want you to flex your brain muscles more. I've seen some of the stuff you've written, and it can get pretty wild and interesting, and it boggles my mind that a person with your imagination can make a so far uninteresting world like this.

My opinion may change when you get around to making new lore, but as it stands now, I'm the opposite of impressed.

Hey Zalph, ever been to Elfwood? I know there are quite a good writers there that could help you. And I also read from 'Dragon Tome' that you want said fanfic to get published, right? They can also help you there, buddy.

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http://www.elfwood.com/farp/writing-tutorials.html

^ Above this is the Writing Tutorial. A couple of writers actually helped me. Thanks to them, I managed to overcome writer's block.

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http://www.elfwood.com/farp/business.html

Stuff about marketing, copyright etc.

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Good luck with your story Zalphon. Hope that many people buys your book!

- UreniAshtram.

Gods:

Clockamock - God of Time

Darkshadowofinescapableblackness - God of Shadow

Greedybeggarius - God of Greed

Factions:

The Lighter-shade-of-mauve knights

Another Mage Council

Creatures:

Orks of Mordor

Wookies

Pokemon

I did that in thirty seconds. So, like Verlox says, if there's more in-depth stuff in the project, post it. Anybody can take a word, add a prefix to it and make it a name for something. Clearly Verlox wasn't getting to you about how detailed and complex a world needs to be. All you have to do is look at our own to realise that.

Off to read your story now anyways

Another bit of advice.

If things are assumed to be Earth-like, and have Earth names, then you don't need to have paragraphs describing them. This is especially true for governments. If you have say...a monarchy for example, most of us know what a monarchy is (hereditary autocracy basically), and how it runs. If your leader is called a king, and supported by his Chancellor, Great Chamberlain, Lord Privy Seal, we likely already have the information on what these guys do. A few sentences to describe them, then if there are any twists, a few more sentences.

Now, if you use a slightly more odd form of government in your stories, like I do for my Cilgratis stuff, you do need descriptions. A normal person does not know what Tywysog Mawr y llwythau even means, and if some person could puzzle that out, when applied they could do something different than the name suggests. THAT'S when you want to have paragraphs of description.

Another thing are laws of your world. I'm pretty sure most worlds follow the Societal Laws (Murder = Bad, Stealing = Bad, Perjury = Bad, if they live in a religious society Blasphemy = Bad, Courts = Good), so these don't really need to be elaborated upon. But, say, one of your societies has a dietary law, a law forbidding certain types of sexual intercourse (not as uncommon as you would think), laws pertaining to the noble or priest caste ect ect, it's usually cool to give descriptions and reasons behind those.

In Cyn y Diwygiadau Rhondda, it is very much against the law to look a Derwydd in the eyes unless you are another Derwydd or a Deiliad because it's considered disrespect. The punishment for transgressing that law is usually temporary slavery to the Derwydd or death.

See what I did there? Describing a law doesn't have to be a long, involved process. A good template for laws is.....Some thing you can't do -> Why -> Punishment. Also, if you are inclined, you can give a precedent as to why this law exists in the first place.

Everlight Kingdom
(The Main Kingdom, various city-states are scattered, but in general they control the realm.)

Necromancy is illegal.

Slavery is legal if it's one of the following races
1) Dark Elf
2) Shadow Elf
3) Dragon Elf
4) Dragon
5) Orc
6) Wood Elf
7) Sea Elf
8) Gnoll
9) Ogre
10) Blood Vampire
11) Soul Vampire (like their cousins, they sustain themselves by siphoning the souls of their enemies. Though, they're not technically undead.)
12) Half Elf

Thievery is illegal.

Murder is illegal (when not against a free member of the above races).

Perjury is illegal.

Assault is illegal.

Being an abolitionist is illegal.

Any affiliation with the White Shadows Assassins is punishable by death.

Any affiliation with the Thieves' Guild is punishable by death.

Royalty and Bluebloods are exempt from the laws...

Cities

Everlight City, Everlight - The Capital of the Kingdom and home of King Alu'Kar Everlight and main fortress of the Order of the Dragon in Mathoc.

Korpse, Star's Reach- A lawless city of thieves, thugs, and assassins. Gold is the only language here and those with a lot of it either get body guards or end up dead.

Shadowhaven, Star's Reach - Similar to Korpse, however this town is ran by a powerful rogue with a silver tongue. Those who argue with him find their ways to cemetaries.

Haven, Frostblood Tundra - The Main Council-City of the Gray Council. Beneath the frozen lands, the Wizard-Lords of the Gray Council, the most powerful of their guardians, assassins, thieves, and wizards also meet here.

Gray-Scale, Black Marsh - Aqueeans and Troglodytes own this city. Drakal come and go as they please, as do dragons. However, non-scaled ones end up dead.

The Monestary of the Shadowdancers, Star's Reach - Home to the Darkal Female Organization of Monks. They're emotions are channeled into their fists. Rage can make it as hot as a flame, lust can make it as sharp as a sword, revenge can make it as cold as ice. They seek to kill the Disciples of Tiban.

The Fortress of Tiban, Sunskar - Home to the Human, Half-Orc, and Orc Organization of Barbarian Worshippers of the long-dead demi-god, Tiban. They seek to rid the world of the Shadowdancers once and for all after discovering what their High Mistress did to Tiban.

In the Everlight Kingdom, five noble families live in house-like systems. They were the first to join Derek Everlight when he conquered Mathoc.

House Decus

A family that places honor above all else. Honor and family overrule anything else.

House Magus

A family that places Arcane power above all else. Anything is sacraficed for more power in House Magus.

House Furs

A family of liars, thieves, thugs, and assassins. Blackmail and treachery are what make power in House Furs.

House Monastica

A family that believes following the will of the gods is the most important of all things to do. To gain power in this House Monastical, you must be a Cleric or Paladin of Sir Mythaniel.

House Slyth

The most powerful family combines the best traits of the other families. They were the first to join Derek Everlight hundreds of years ago. King Alu'Kar named them 'outlaws' due to fear they might overthrow. They went to dark tunnels and caverns and evolved from Hyekal to Darkal...

How about a map?

How would I post a map?

Make map, save it to your hard-drive. Upload it to an image site (imageshack, ect). Then provide us the link. Or, like I did with the title picture for A Champion's Journey, use the "insert image" button (that little tree) on this site to give up the picture right here.

The maps I have done have always been hand-drawn.

Scan it

Excuse my ignorance, but how if I may ask?

Well, a lot of modern printers tend to have a scanner on top. Flip up the cover, put paper onto glass face-down, hit scan button, and it uploads the image to your computer. Next, just put it on an image hosting site then share it here.

No usable printer at this moment in time with that feature. If I get one, I'll scan it.