my ms word isn't working so theres alot of mistakes.....

REDSONG

STORY OF CLIFF

CHAPTER 1








My name is Cliff. I am a freelance theif. Im a Breton, of a mere 23 years of age but I can do things most advanced theives cannot. Now you may think of me as a young, thick-headed brat, with nothing to lose but to mine and your surprise I soon found out I had everything. But eventually I would lose it, lose everything I ever loved and ever will. To you, by now, this probably sounds like a bunch of bull, if it was me it would too.
See, I didn't associate with the Theives Guild but when you need money. When you need food. When you need pretty much everything, you'll do what you will do. But what I did, well frankley, wasn't worth it. See I did something that no person alive would ever think of doing. I betrayed The Gray Fox, stole from the empire, and murdered Uriel Septim VII all in the same day. Thus attracting the Dark Brotherhood, The Blades, all of the Theives Guild, and pretty much everybody in Cyrodill. Exept Tyrellsis, a female Breton from Bruma. Also the love of my life. She was very beutifall but, like I said, I would soon gain anything and lose everything.

As I sit in the tavern , slowly sipping my ale, I watch the wealthy man I've been stalking, Umbacano The Collecter they call him. I've been watching his every movement from the darkest shadows for weeks now. I've studied up on him to, plotting on how I'm gonna pull off this heist. See he has the largest collection of artifacts of anyone else. Therefore pulling this off would have great bennifits. Probibly get me food for the next, oh say, one hundred years!
I now know that every Middas at three p.m. he brings all of his workers to the Tiber Septim hotel for drinks which should be when I strike. My main target is a crown they say some adventurer retreived for him, its said to contain great powers which would make it worth alot.
It is now three p.m.. I stand and slowly walk outside. As I pass his workers, I quickly pickpocket his bodygaurd and get the keys. As I walk toward his mansion, I realize the keys I got aren't for the mansion but for the bodyguards house. I could easily get into her house and gat the real pairs but I'm running out of time. So I just pull out my only lockpick and I slowly insert it into the key slot. I pop up three out of four tumblers but it is then when I realize that my pick is stuck, thus moving it would snap it in two. So I pull it out and as I turn away thinking I failed, I rememberd I had my steel dagger with me so I pulled it out and ran at the door, sliceing through the wood getting me inside.
Once inside, I snuck up to the private quaters, opened the door. Suprisengly it was open. To the left I saw the prize. The crown was neatly placed on top of a shelf. I was too excited I forgot to check for traps and dashed for the crown. Thus activating a booby trap that pulled me up by the foot by the use of a thick rope. I was jerked up so fast my dagger fell and I smashed my head off the floor. Before I blacked out I saw some sort of machine throw torches out the window, alerting the guards. I also saw a man and a woman come in just before the guards. They tried to untie me but when they tried three guards ran in and the battle commenced. The man, who was a Redgaurd, pulled out a mace while the female, a Khajiit, unsheathed a steal shortsword. The first guard was an archer who was quikly decapitated by the Khajiit . The Redguard swung the mace connecting with the second guards head sending him flying, then ducking to avoid an arrow by the third guard, while the Khajiit swiftly slit her throat. Then the Redguard took the blood-stained mace and quikly crushed the last guard's, who he earleir knocked out, skull. After that I blacked out. I woke up in a dimly lit basement. Surronded by Timber Wolves.
I didn't think they saw me yet, so I reached for my dagger but found a steel claymore. Since I'm a theif I had no idea how to use it but I had to try. I stood as quitly as I could but still the wolves saw me. It was then I realized, I had nothing but iron armour on. This obviosly adds more protection but I'm not skilled in heavy armour. Because I'm a theif I have no use for it, its just to noisy.
The first wolf dove but using the claymore, I silenced him very easily. But the blade was stuck in the wolves skull. I tried to pull it out but I just wasn't strong enough. As I was trying, the second wolf tackeld me to the ground. I spent the next few minutes wrestiling with it to get it off. After about six minutes I finally got it off. I through it into a wall, breaking its back. I stood and saw the last three running at me so I dashed for the claymore. I finally got it unstuck and violently, swung it around, decapitating a wolf and getting it stuck in the wall to. The others were still running at me so I jumped on the the still-stuck claymore, jumped on to a wolf, wrapped my hand around its snout and broke its neck. I turned just in time to kick the last wolf in the face. I ran over to it and shuvved my hand in its mouth and blasted a fireball, the only spell I can use.
I pulled my hand out and slowly walked towards the stairs and was met by the redguard who helped me. " Hello, Cliff my name is Armand Cristoffe. You passed your test,now follow me, my boss would like to see you. " He said.
I was very confused so I followed, hoping he would explain more.

HOPE U LIKE IT!

theres still some mistakes but its still good. the upcoming chapters will be much longer



REDSONG


STORY OF CLIFF


CHAPTER 2






Armand told me that he was a Doyen for the Theives Guild. He also told me that what I just experienced was a test The Gray Fox set up. Apperiently, he heard about my "acheivments" and wanted to see if I was realy that good. Armand also told me that the Khajiit that helped me was also a Doyen, Skrivva was her name. Before Armand told me anything else he brought me to a room and said "get comfortable". When I turned all I saw was clothes and weapons. I put on a huntsman vest, tan linens,fur boots, a black hood, and a black robe. I also equiped a steal shortsword, a steal dagger, and a knife witch I hid in my boots. When I walked out Armand told me that The Gray Fox had an extreamly diffucult job for me and said it woult pay very, very well. I still didn't understand but Armand said he would give me time to think about it.

When I left the house, I found that I was in my hometown,Bruma. But what I saw next terrified me. My house was being burned to the ground! I saw three legion soldiers burning it while two others were fighting my only friend, an argonion named Runs-in-woods. He lives in Bravil but must of come to visit me and saw they were burning my house so tried to help. I couldn't just stand there so I unsheathed my shortsword and charged. I took on one soldier while Runs-in-woods took on the other. I slashed at the guard but he quikly dodged and swung his claymore. I swiftly jumped on the sword and drove my blade through his chest. When I went to help my friend I found they knocked him out. The soldier was about to plunge his sword through my friend but I ran and put the sword right through the soldier's head. I then noticed my house was gone and so were the rest of the soldiers. I turned my attention to my friend. He was bleeding rapidly through his forehead. I screamed for help but no one came. I was left holding my dieing friend. My only friend. With his last breath he said " They.........said......your wanted............so they made.......sure..........you couldn't go..........home..........goodbye......friend....AGGGGGGG!!". There I was, holding my dead friend. It was then I knew what I had to do. I had to do the job, get money, and defeat the bastards who did this.


I returned to the old broken down house and knocked on the door. After about three minutes, Armand came to the door and said " Hello again, Cliff. I was expecting you. Please come in." .

So I did. When I entered I had a bag put over my head and was hit with some hard object. I awoke tied to a tree in the middle of the forest. I struggled but had no luck of getting out. Then, in the distance, I saw a shadowy figure aproach. As he got closer, I realized it was the man himself. The Gray Fox. After about five minutes of circling me he began to speak. " Hows life, Cliff? Its good to finally meet you. I was very impressed by your victory over the timber wolves. Now, I would like to apoligize about the rude way my men brought you here. I just couldn't have you knowing where we were. I'm very sorry about what happened to your house and friend. Now down to buisness. Cliff, I have a proposition for you. With your skills I think you would be able to pull this off flawles-"

" Oh get on with it you FOOL!! You dragged me out here now tell me or I'll slit your throat!" I screamed. I had no idea why I did but I had a very bad head-ache and I guess I got agitated.

" Oh feisty are we? Well I will get on but just after telling you that if you try to strike me, I'll kill you were you stand, do you understand?" The Gray Fox replied sternly.

I said nothing.


"DO YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU DIRTY BRETON??!! WELL, DO YOU!!!??" He screamed in my face. I got very agitated and spit in his face. He quikly struck me with the handle of an ebony dagger. I srceamed out in pain as he, most likely, broke my nose. The blood gushed out of the now-broken nose.

I tried to say "yes" but I choked on the blood and all I got out was "yeghsh".


He then started to speak. " Now that we got that little bit of ugliness out of the way, I would like to tell you about the mission. You must first break into the Imperial City jail using a secret escape route used by the royal family. Then you must proceed on an free an imprisioned guild member named Jair. You and him will then sneak into the palace, get into Uriel Septim's private quaters, then get the Amulet Of Kings off his neck. After this I will pay you two-thousand gold. Four-thousand if Jair has an " Accident", got it?".

He wiped the blood away so I could talk. When I finally could, I replied " Please untie me." and left it at that.

He motioned for Armand to do it. When he finished, I stood and simply said " You are foolish if you think I'll do this. But I need the money so I will but with some perks. First-instead of two-thousand I want fifteen-hundred and a new house. Second-I'll need much better weapons. And third-at any time I can ask you for one favor, no matter how much the cost.

After thinking it over for several minutes, he agreed. Then, without saying anything, pointed to a bay horse which I figured was mine now. As I walked towards it, I passed a Bosmer in ragedy clothes. Knowing it was only Armand, The Gray Fox, him, and me out here I figured he was the one to hit me over the head, which by now was a bump.

I looked him up and down then said " Are you the one who hit me?".

Then he replied " Yes sir, sorry about that.".

" Oh thats okay...." . I calmly walked away then I turned around, punched him in the face, grabbed his hand, slammed it up against a tree, then sliced off every finger and used the knife too nail the palm to the tree. "........but if you ever do it again I'll end your life.".

ok listen i know people are reading this and i just want to say LEAVE a reply even if its saying my story sucks i dont care

It takes time for people to comment on stories. Believe me, I know. It's best not to worry about it, man. Demanding feedback isn't really a good thing to do.

Patience, patience. I've read a little (just a little) and I need time to figure out what I want to say. I used to teach composition, so I refuse to give an ill-considered response.

OK. As far as plot goes, it seems kind of improbable to me that the Thieves' Guild would be so violent. The Guild in both Morrowind (implicitly) and Cyrodiil (explicitly) frowns upon physical violence, especially killing. The wolf test, beating hit over the head--it just seems out of character. I'd find some way to reconcile that. Maybe they feel a need for more violence, considering that your main character seems a little violent himself.

As for the writing itself, I'd be more concerned with the pacing of things than with the straight-up errors. Most of the latter could be fixed with spell/grammar check of some sort. Firefox (if you use it) can help with the spelling if Word still fails you. The bigger concern are some of the run-on sentences and paragraphs. Break it up a bit. Let the reader pause, so they can digest the work more easily. The 2nd update is better than the first in this regard.

One more thing: take your time. Check out other stories on the forum. You might find some techniques or ideas you like and be able to adapt them to your own use. Above all, have fun.

Welcome to Chorrol!

ok thx but i didn't mean for it to come out the way it did. i made it seem i just wanted people to reply but what i realy meant was that i know alot of people who don't post negative replys and i just wanted people to know i dont care if its bad or good srry that it sounded like i was a jerk lol

well heres the 3rd chapter and i know i said it would be longer but i hav places to go so i was rushed but its still kinda good
REDSONG



STORY OF CLIFF


CHAPTER 3




As I rode off to the Imperial City, I decided to go to Bruma first. I rode all day and night, encountering verius creatures along the way. At one point I heard screaming, so I turned left to investigate. Following the scream led me to an abanded mine. I jumped of the horse and unsheathed my shortsword.

After trying to find the troubled person outside the mine, I decided to venture in. As soon as I opened the door, a Breton woman in a short dress and leather boots, came running and banged into me. At first I thought she was just trapped but what came out after convinced me otherwise. A hord of goblins. I was about to run seeing I couldn't take them on my own but right then the woman unsheathed a steel bow and arrows. I then knew what I must do. I must charge while she keeps her distance.

I ran at the group of angry goblins. At first I took care of them easily, because most were archers, but all of a sudden a very painfull shock went up my spine. I fell to the ground, hitting my head in the process. I was imobilized for a short period of time. As I lay on the ground, I see it was a goblin shamen that casted the spell. I only got a quick glimpse as the woman drew an arrow back, let it fly, penitrating the goblins skull.

I finally got up and found that the goblins had run away. Except for the war lord. He charged at the girl so I quickly intervined by jumping on the creatures back. I reaptedly shoved my dagger into the beast while she shot it numerios time. At last I finnaly brought it down with an arrow that was stuck in his chest by hitting it with the handle of my dagger, thus driving it into the heart.

I stood and walked slowly over to the lady and merely said " Hello, ma'dam. I'm Cliff, you?".


" Oh enough with your politness Cliff. After seeing the way you killed those wretched beasts, I know your not as elegant as you act. I'm Tyrellsis. But you can call me Ty, everyone else does."she replied harshly.

" So what was that all about?".


" I was treasure hunting in that mine went I was attacked. Thats what I do, I'm a "hunter". What do you do?" answered Ty.

" I'm a.........collecter of unwanted rare items...." I replied, suddenly feeling ashamed of what I do.

" So your a theif?" she chuckeld.

"....................yes.." is all I could say. Suddenly I felt very attracted to this woman.

I told her I was on my way to Bruma and that I would have to stay at Olav's. But she strictly told me she would have none of that and that I was to stay with her. She said it was the least she could do, as she lived in Bruma.

After we arrived at her home, Ty made the most delicios meal I have ever tasted, but she wouldn't tell me what it was made out of. As the night grew older, I felt comfortible about telling her the mission. I was afraid she would report me but all she did was ask " Can I come? I'm very skilled and there would probably be some good loot.". I said yes, as if I could turn her down.

I was walking to the bedroom I was to use. It was three a.m. and after the last few days, I could use a good rest but after the next event I couldn't sleep.

" Oh Cliff?". I turned to see Ty in nothing but but a robe which she let drop to the floor revealing herself. "Come to my bedroom please." is all she said then turned and walked to her room. I was going to refuse as I was very tired but hey, I'm a man. And that night Tyrellsis and I made love for the first time.

thx for the advice my other stories are way better but like i said with these ones i was rushed they are goin to get way better believe me

p.s.- the reason they are so violent is because thay are not who u think they are just wait and see nad the reason the 1st looks like 1 big paragraph is because instead of spacing the paragraphs i just indent which didn't come out right

NOOOOOOOO!

Please....NEVER give away part of the plot. That is never a good thing, and you'll find yourself pissing off your readers. You know what I mean?

no im not its like what u did in TAoR u made the mythic dawn huge because it was easier thats wat i did with mine but im not adding more i found this one sucked and was very rushed so im quiting and spending the next few days working on a new one with a diff plot, style of story, MUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH longer and deffintetly better writing. this one was merely to see if people would read even my suckiest work but thx for the advice it will come in handy.






p.s.- im only 13 so don't expect me to be the next stephan king im still just learning lol

It's cool. And let me give you some advice. Don't get mad at me, because I swear I'm not trying to be mean.

When you post outside of stories (like how we are doing right now) try and use proper english, grammar, etc. Write how you would in a story, as in correct grammar, capitalizing words, etc. Use commas when you need them, don't have run-on sentences without periods and whatnot. Seriously, it will help you out tremendously.

ok i will and just for the record, im not mad well, i was but now that i read my story over it really sucks so i started a new one which i think is better. Alot better.please read. oh by the way thx alot for the tips they really helped me. Oh also, off topic, you should write a sequel to TAoR,it was FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!

Thanks, but there will be no sequel to TAoR. Honestly....I'm probably done with TES fics. At least until TESV comes out I guess...

ohhh......that sucks.......you were really good. Well, you got to do what you like not what others want right? But you should right a book of any kind. I know I would read it lmao.