Alright guys I know its short but bear with me here eh?
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Prologue
I dreamt of Cyrodill and the cool cobblestone streets of the Imperial City. As I walked toward the city gates, the oil lanterns illuminated the many buildings, shops, and people rushing about, giving the city its own unique personality. Brightly colored flowers filled gardens and massive trees overlooked the city from outside the walls. I took a step outside the massive gates of the city and looked toward the woodland nearby, hardly able to see it because of the mist filling the air. In the distance a deer crashed through the brush in the forest as it attempted to evade the graceful mountain lion. Birds and squirrels were stirred from their nests by the noise below. My wife came up from behind and rested her hand on my shoulder lovingly, looking off into the distance with me . I smiled happily and inhaled the fresh air of the city calmly, then I woke.

Chapter 1: Arrival
The huge oak ship creaked and rocked violently around me as crates and barrels in the hold collided and shook, attempting to break free from the ropes securing them to the floor. I sat up and looked at the dirty bedroll on the floor beneath me, unsure of what is going on. My head was overwhelmed with an intense sharp pain. I grabbed the back of my head and felt the bump where I'd been hit but I couldn't remember why or how I'd even arrived there.

I shook off the confusion and attempted to stand but the storm shook the ship fiercely, causing me to fall to the floor once again. I could hear muffled shouting on the level above me as rain fell into the cargo hold through the open hatch at the end of the corridor. As I lay there, a large amount of water rolled inside the trap door and washed over me, soaking my entire body and filling my mouth with ice cold saltwater. I spat the water onto the floor and grabbed a thin blanket from the corner, wrapping myself with it in an attempt to stay warm. I forced myself to stand and began to make my way toward the trap door leading to the next level, staying to the sides of the room and using the cargo to steady myself. One of the imperial guards climbed into the hatch right as I arrived and grabbed me by the shoulder, throwing me to the floor.

"Keep still prisoner, get back with the others!" He yelled over the sound of thunder and the whistling of the wind outside

"Man overboard!" Another voice yelled just outside

As I tried to get to my feet I heard wooden planks crack and splinter in the level below me. I was frozen with fear and I glanced behind me as water rushed in from the bottom deck.

"Breach on the port side!" A voice yelled as water consumed me

The ship popped and creaked as I struggled to stay above water. The ship began to tilt left slowly and then capsized without warning. I try to swim upward to the bubble of air left at the hull of the ship but a strong current dragged me outside into the deadly waters. I finally made it to the top of the water and took a breath, grabbing a floating barrel desperately. I screamed for help in fear as I listed to the screams of the other men as they search for something to grab hold of but weren't successful.

Though the brutal ocean waves threw me into the air and plunged me back into the freezing water I still held tightly onto the barrel, refusing to be devoured by the dark sea around me. I looked around briefly before each time I was plunged into the ocean praying for land. The screams of the ship’s crew became silent and I could no longer see the hull of the ship floating above the water. I was thrown about for hours before the storm dissipated and I finally saw land. I let go of the barrel and was washed ashore a muddy beach minutes later. I looked around weakly, I could see buildings that looked similar to imperial design but no people walked near them and no lanterns lit the streets. No wall separated it from the world outside and no guards patrolled the alleys.

"Please help." I stutter hoarsely

I begin to cough and choke from the cold, my stomach felt as if it were still turning circles inside me, and I was exhausted. I could stay conscious no more so I rolled onto my side and passed out, cold and alone.

O-o, poor guy, it doesn't look good for him. I hope he'll make it though.

Very nice to see you're writing again! Good work Mr Oven!

Watch your tenses, especially in the Prologue. Other than that it was a good read, Kiln. I especially liked the story started out with a dream. In the dream you were in a wonderful place with flowers and whatnot, and then you wake up with a sore on the back of your head. Good job with that.

Same as above. There are certain bits where the character begins something in present tense and finishes it in past tense e.g. I spit the water onto the floor and grabbed a thin blanket from the corner, wrapping myself with it in an attempt to stay warm.
Spit might work better as spat, or grabbed as I grab.
Other than that its horribly realistic, your descriptions of drowning/submersion in water are enough to make me almost forget to remember to breathe. I love the line before the one i mentioned especially this bit- 'filling my mouth with ice cold saltwater' -it sounds just right.
Well done.
Is this an ongoing project?

Yeah its a work in progress that I started yesterday. Thanks for your comments everyone. I realize that some of the tenses are wrong and thats because I started in a completely different format. I first wrote the entire story in present tense then switched over to past tense afterwards because it didn't sound right to me written in that format.

I know that feeling. But that kind of stuff is tougher to change than first thought, it can turn into a full redraft job.

I looked around sluggishly as I awoke, observing that I had been brought inside somehow. I found myself on a dusty bedroll surrounded by baskets and sacks, the door at the edge of the room was made of heavy oak and was reinforced with iron. The entire area smelled like something had soured inside and had never been aired out, it was putrid.

I sat up quickly and got to my feet soon after, looking around the room cautiously, though it was extremely small. There was nothing of interest anywhere to be found, it appeared that I was inside a storage room. I grabbed the large iron door-handle and opened the door slowly, seeing exquisite blue tapestry and a candle lighting the hallway outside.

I turned and slinked up the small stairway on my left that led into a long hallway, that's when I saw light in a room just ahead on the left, several feet from the other door at the end of the hall. I stopped abruptly and leaned around the corner carefully searching the room with my eyes. Inside was an old man sitting with his back to me at a table eating bread and something else on his plate I couldn't make out. I had just decided to enter when the other door at the end of the hall creaked open and a guard wearing Imperial armor emerged, sighting me immediately and walking in my direction. He grabbed me by the arm harshly and stepped around the corner, clearing his throat to signal our presence to the older man still eating his meal.

I smiled nervously, still unsure of what was going on.

"Found this in the hall." The guard said as if he were quite annoyed

"Ah you're awake...very good lets head to the office, I have a few questions for you." The old man said waving his hand around as he stood from the table

"Lets go, we don't have all day." The guard remarked, half shoving me toward the hallway

We arrived in a much larger room lined with shelves, books, plates, and numerous other decorative items as well as a lit fireplace in the corner of the room. It was odd that such an ornately decorated place could smell so bad. It seemed that no matter where you went in the building it smelled like it was surrounded by a festering bog.

"Please sit down, its not often that humans come through here, usually all we process are the beast races." The old man said, motioning toward the chair

I fell back into the chair, still somewhat weak from recent events. I wondered what he meant by beast races but decided not to pursue it in conversation so I wouldn't seem ignorant.

"I am Socucius Ergalla and this is Seyda Neen's Census office." He said before taking a drink from the goblet before him

"Can you tell me your name?" He asked

"My name is Elith." I said, surprised that I'd nearly struggled to remember my name

"Interesting." He said as he marked something in a large red book before him

"Can you tell me how you got here?" He said calmly

"I was on a prison ship...but I don't know why." I replied

"Do you know what the ship was called?" He asked

"I'm sorry I can't remember." I replied

"So where is this ship now?" He asked

"It sank...we hit something and it...capsized." I told him, though it was painful just to recall the horrible events that had occurred

"I see, how did you survive?" He asked me

"I managed to grab hold of a barrel and float to shore...I don't know if anyone else was so lucky." I said

I remembered the freezing water, the screams of the other people, and the noise of wood splintering in the lower hull of the ship. I told the old man everything I could remember, going over every detail to a great extent. After over an hour of questioning I was escorted back to the room downstairs and told to wait until I was retrieved. I sat on the bedroll with my back against the wall wondering why I had been imprisoned in the first place, I couldn't remember anything before waking up on the ship.

Awesome. Amnesia is a good trick when a writer pulls it off correctly. It gives you more time to flesh out your character and gives your story an air of mystery. The questioning scene was cool, and the stealth part was latently tense.
Keep it up because surprisingly, for a fan fiction, I'm intrigued as to what will happen next.

It is a real treat to see that you are writing again. I like your variation on the arrival scenario, and Elith's memory loss makes for an even better twist.

Sweet Mr Oven! To have the ship capsized....well that's certainly a new approach. I like it. Yes I do!

An interesting take on the Morrowind story. You have a few good plot devices and some good description. If there is a flaw, it's that at times the story feels a bit empty. Flesh it out some more and you'll have a first class story.

With this story I was just trying for something that hadn't been done before, I hope I can pull it off.

I'll update again when I have time.

I like this. A very good morrowind but different scenario and the amnesia is working fairly well. I'll be interested to see what you have him do next.

Thanks for your comments guys and I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing. I also hope I can keep you guessing throughout the story.
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It was as if my very existence had begun upon the prison ship, I could remember things, bits and pieces of my life before but it was all very surreal as if I was dreaming. The only thing I knew for sure was that something big had happened, I could feel it like a wound on my soul. I grew tired of waiting and after a while I began going through the sacks and baskets in the room. I found nothing of much use, some bread and what looked like assorted plants and vegetables…but like none I had ever seen. I took the bread hastily and ate it as fast as I could, leaving the rest alone. I’d learned never to eat anything I couldn’t recognize growing up in the imperial city.

I stood and began pacing the room, beginning to worry about what would happen to me next. Thoughts of execution and imprisonment rushed through my mind as I debated on whether or not I would try and escape. I reached for the handle of the door and just before I grabbed it the door opened, revealing the guard I’d met moments before. He raised an eyebrow when he saw my outthrust hand and shook his head in confusion. He then grabbed me by the arm and pushed me in front of him, forcing me down the hall toward the office I’d entered hours before when I’d first arrived.

I emerged once again to the presence of Socucius Ergalla sitting in the chair behind the table. He smiled and motioned for me to sit down in the seat across from him. I took my place and the old man began turning through the ledger he’d written in before, browsing its contents carefully.

“Hello again Elith, before we begin I’d like to ask you a few more questions that will help me to find a place for you.” He said in a friendly tone

“Place for me? I’m not sure I understand.” I replied in confusion

“I’ll explain when we’re finished; the only thing I ask is that you answer in complete honesty.” He said

“I will answer your questions but I would really like you to explain to me what’s going on first.” I told him
“I’ll try to explain.” He said with a frown as he shifted in his chair

“It appears that we don’t have your arrival on record, though the ship you were on was supposed to dock here and let off prisoners, we don’t have you on the list. This means that you were likely a last minute change on the roster and the papers stating what we’re supposed to do with you were still on the ship when it was lost.” He said as he continued to flip through the pages of the ledger

“I still don’t understand what you’re telling me…what’s going to happen to me?” I asked

“Well it seems that we will have to place you into the service of the empire until we can acquire your papers.” He said

“Service of the empire? What are you talking about?” I asked

“It’s the empire’s way of saying that you’ll be working as an general laborer. Probably serving in a mine or plantation until we get your papers.” The guard said condescendingly

“How long do you think that’ll take?” I asked

“It will likely take at least three weeks, maybe longer.” The old man told me

“Ask your questions then if it will make a difference.” I replied almost grudgingly

I knew the old man was just doing his job but I wished he'd cut me a little slack since I'd nearly drowned just hours before.

He began to question me carefully about myself, asking about various physical attributes as well as social and diplomatic skills I might have. I was honest about my skills which wasn’t the best course of action in hindsight since I might have been placed somewhere much easier had I fabricated a bit on what I could and couldn’t do efficiently.

Ergalla eventually finished recording my personal details and told me that the only place I would be able to work until my papers arrived was in some sort of raw mineral mine in Caldera. It sounded bad and when I asked the guard about it he told me that he wouldn't even accept guard duty there with all the controversy circulating there. I was confused when they told me I would be riding a silt strider to a nearby town and then some other form of transport out of the mages guild…I figured a silt strider was just a backwater way of saying carriage…I was far from right.

After the census office had completely recorded me I was escorted to the exit of the building under guard by two imperial soldiers who were to escort me to the mines. As we stepped out the door into the misty town a pungent odor assaulted my nose, it smelled as if the entire town were sitting in a stagnant swamp. As I looked around more carefully I realized that it was.

Buildings of beautiful but worn imperial design as well as wooden shacks surrounded me, covered in moss and fungus. The ground beneath my feet was slick and muddy from the rain. A few townsfolk wandered the paths between houses and the bridge leading over a small river at the edge of town. I walked with the guards across the bridge and turned the corner heading to the right up the hill and thats when I saw and heard it for the first time. A huge monster bellowed and shifted its weight, pressing its six sharp legs into the mucky ground below it. It had two huge claws that hung lazily before it and an incredibly small head in comparison to its body.

I turned around and started to run but was grabbed by the two imperials beside me. They looked at eachother and began to laugh.

"You'd think he's never seen a strider before eh?" One guard said jokingly

"Yeah I guess some folks aren't used to them." The other replied

I looked at the beast carefully as we came closer to it. A small ramp lead up to its side where a dark elven woman stood. The guards began talking to her and she looked at me and smiled, finding humor in my obvious fear of the creature that was apparently used for transportation in Morrowind. One of the guards climbed inside and the other motioned for me to follow. I knew that it would be a long ride.
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Yeah I know its short but I don't have alot of time on my hands right now mates.

Hmm perhaps this isn't going at all where I expected. I'm even more intreuged and want more. More I say more!

Hah! This was a nice twist....yeah I like it more and more....Mr Oven! MORE! I command you! Ooops ehhh no I'll ask you nicely of course;

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? More....

I always enjoy original stories set in familiar worlds, and this one is no exception. One of the advantages is that we, as readers, are never quite sure what to expect. Your protagonist's start in the land of Morrowind hasn't exactly been kind to him, and his immediate future looks fairly bleak as well. I'm very curious to discover what is in store for him.

Just thought I'd say I'm another one who loves the amnesia twist. I wonder if anything will intervene before he starts in the mines? I hope for his sake it does; those places don't look fun.

I've read the first three chapters, and there are many positives. You don't shy away from description, which is good, and the amnesia is a good twist story-wise. With that said, let me make a few suggestions on the technical stuff...

Don't forget periods after all the dialogue, such as after "I said" or "he replied". It's a small thing, but it distracts from your story and, really, it's always great to use proper punctuation.



Your tenses are inconsistent there. Although it's been mentioned I thought it prudent to point out an example, since you continued to make mistakes with your tenses. Infrequent mistakes, but mistakes nonetheless. A good rule of thumb is not to mix suffixes (don't couple -ed with -es, for one) too much, unless you have good reason or know that it won't clash. There's an exception to every rule.

Anyway, there's my advice.