Im new here so i dont know how this all works so ill start with the introduction and the first chapter



-------------------------------INTRO--------------------------------------


As I walk along the dirt road of the clearing. I look up at the fresh clean air that was once blight in an age of terror, I smell the scent of victory, something I longed waited for. Dagoth Ur is gone; this day will be remembered all throughout the history of Vvardenfell, the day the immortal demon Dagoth Ur was defeated by the hands of the Nerevarine the reborn of the great Nerevar. I walked my way through victory being crowned Hortator of house Redoran, of house Hlaalu, and of house Telvanni. Slayed the seven vampires, obtained the hammer Sunder and the blade Keening. They call me the Nerevarine; I never thought this was my destiny. These were my thoughts as I walked, walked from the great walls of Ghostgate to the great waters of Vivec. These were my thoughts, this is my land, and this is where I belong. Of immortality, I shall not rest but live the life I never dreamed possible. Vivec is no longer the lord of the land but I shall now take his dying place…




I woke, the sun glaring down at my face. I got up and just sat there. No sound. I went to my window hoping to find my father gardening or taking care of the horses. He wasn’t in sight. I got dressed and reached for my dagger but found something instead, a note.

Dear son,
You may be wondering where I am, don’t worry
I’m fine. I just wanted to tell you I may be gone for a while
If you need anything go to Favel’s house
Ask around, he’s pretty well known in Balmora
It has been a while since your last visit.
He’s an old colleague of mine and he’s like a distant brother to me
He will treat you like one of his own.

P.S
There are some coins on your dresser if you didn’t already see them


I folded it back up and walked over to the dresser and picked the coin bag up and placed in on my belt. I walked out of the house to go to the stables to feed and groom the horses. But something caught my attention, it was a coin. Not a piece of gold it was a coin with a circle cut in the middle with strange writing around it. I examined it very closely even though I’m not an educated child it looked familiar. I bet Favel would know. I anxiously groomed and fed the horses. I chose the horse I favored the most, Ugmar. I named it after me, Ugmung. Even though I am Dunmer, to me Ugmung is not a Dunmer name. It is rather a Nord name or an Orc’s. The question was always in my mind. I stroked his hair and climbed up onto him “HIYA!”.



------------------:::CHAPTER 1::: PELAGIAD-------------------------------



The morning was very pleasant. The sun shining as the wind against my face felt wonderful. Father was right I haven’t seen Favel since I was a child. He is a great man, I remember when we used to sit down and tell me stories when he was young and strong and he used to fight powerful demons. Now that I think about it I was silly to believe in those stories. He is just a mere merchant and probably doesn’t know anything about combat much less fight a demon. I always wanted to be a freelancer or an adventurer and fight demons like Favel said he did. But I know father wouldn’t allow that, he would think it’s too dangerous; but if I get the proper training anything is possible.
As I pass road by road I show up in a little town called Pelagiad I think I will rest here for the night it is getting late and I bet Ugmar is tired. I’ve never been in Pelagiad so I’m not familiar with the local taverns or shops. As I pull up I saw a guard standing talking to another guard. Maybe they’re switching posts. I got off of Ugmar and started to pull him towards the two guards. “Excuse me, I’m not from around here. Where’s the local tavern?” I asked. “I don’t know go away” replied the guard. Frustrated I asked again “If I’m interrupting anything I’m terribly sorry but me and my horse need somewhere to stay”. The guards ignored me. I walked away hoping to find someone else to tell me where it is. It is late and no people in sight are walking around the town at this time. The only people you would see were the selfish guards. I walked a little farther and saw a middle aged man in a cloak talking to someone behind a shop. Cautiously I walked up to them. As I got closer I started to hear their conversation. Cloaked Man “Yes, I heard a man up in Ald’ruhn stumbled upon the coin sir”. Man 2 “Oh really? Find him, kill him, and take the coin”. Cloaked Man “Yes sir” They started to part so I slowly started to walk back. I went a little farther than the guards then turned around and saw the cloaked man walking towards the guards. He started talking to the guards then one of the guards nodded his head and walked off and the cloaked man walked off in a different direction. Only the one guard remained. I started to walk again in the direction of the cloaked man and he turned into a building. I went to the entrance of the building and it read “Halfway Tavern” I went to the surrounding fence of the inn and quickly tied him up. I walked into the tavern. As I walked into the tavern there were drunks asleep in their chairs and the innkeeper cleaning up the mess from earlier. The cloaked man wasn’t in sight. I walked up to the innkeeper and asked permission to keep my horse where it was and rented a room. I walked up the stairs and found my room. I took my belt off and placed it on the nightstand. Laid in bed and fell asleep.
When I woke the next morning. I realized that my belt was gone. The coin was with my belt. I quickly rampaged through the room searching everything it was early morning and I didn’t know that I put it on the nightstand. All my drakes were in my coin purse strapped to my belt. But I was more worried about the strange coin. I left the room and stormed down stairs and went to the bartender. “Have you seen a brown leather belt anywhere, I cannot find it anywhere!” I explained. “Hmmm no, well we have seen drunks after dark rumbling through peoples rooms while their sleeping. But now we don’t let them upstairs anymore. This is a problem we cannot help you with. Sorry.” said the bartender. “Maybe one slipped past you?” I replied. “After Midnight we throw everyone out who isn’t sleeping we give those folks a break, I remember you. You came in pretty late,” said the bartender. “Well have you seen a man in a black cloak last night right before me?” I said. “Yeah I remember him he was a little strange. He demanded getting a room fast and a big one. Other people in cloaks started coming in after him. It was very strange. He checked out a few minutes before you came down,” replied the bartender. “Thanks.” I said heading towards the door. “Good luck finding the thief who took your belt. Try the legion they’re good with those things.” said the bartender. Empty handed, I walked towards Ugmar hoping he wasn’t gone too. I found him still tied up, unharmed. I got on him and rode towards the main road again.


------------------------------------------------------------------------


Tell me what you think?
i started on the second chapter already
ill post it soon

It's an interesting beginning to this story. A curious coin that dark, mysterious people want. Sounds like a good plot. I do want to make one suggestion though. That is to paragraph your story. I think from reading this, it seems that you wrote it as paragraphs on a word processor, but indentations don't carry over when you copy and paste it onto the reply page.

The format that works best on these forums is to leave a blank line everytime you want to make a new paragraph. You'll see that on most of the longer running fan fics that go on around here.

Anyways, welcome to the fan fiction forums! I'll certainly read you second chapter. (Just make sure to post it on this thread! No need to start another one until A LOT of material is written).

yeah i did it on a word proccesser

do you want to hear what the coins are for and the whole like storyline thing

I'd rather have it revealed to me in the story. It's better to have the reader guessing at what might happen in the future than spoiling it with spoilers

Then there's always the chance that your story might develop into an unexpected direction as you continue to write it. That's happened plenty of times so far in the story I've been writing.

Very interesting plot. I like it and i'm looking forward to the second edition!

As said, it is an interesting start. Judging by the intro, this could be after the Nerevarine bussiness. On the other hand, both the intro and the first chapter are written in the first person so it might be that the coin will lead to the Nerevarine.

It's a bit confusing right now but as you write more and with some blank lines to paragraph, I'm sure it will become better to understand. Please bring us more. Oh, and welcome to the forums.

damn i just realized something.
the nerevarine part wasnt supposed to be first person

--------------------:::CHAPTER 2::: Favel----------------------------------


It was late afternoon when I saw the stone walls of the Moonmoth Legion Fort for the first time. Only a little shorter till the bridge crossing to Balmora.

I also saw my first Slit Strider as I crossed the bridge. Balmora held a lot of new things for me. I was excited. Father said that Favel was somewhat well known around Balmora. So I started at the southern gates of Balmora to find someone that would guide me towards Favel. Guards in Bonemold were walking the streets but from my last encounter with town guards i past them with a friendly "Hello". I stood in the middle of what looked like a town square with shops on my left and right and what looked like Guilds a little ahead. Recalling from all of Favel's old storys of fights i thought maybe the Fighter's Guild would know where he was located.

I stepped inside the Guild and heard the sound of swords sliding against each other from another room. I started going down the hall when i saw a young Redguard in steel at the end of a stair set next to me. I walked up to the Redguard. "Excuse me, im looking for someone by the name of Favel. I don't know his entire name. But im wondering if you know anyone around this area by that name." "Favel.....that sounds familar. I wouldn't know where to find him why don't you try the thieves guild?. They might know where to find him." Replied the Redguard. "Okay, This is my first time in Balmora. Sorry for me asking but wheres the Thieves Guild?" I asked. "Oh, don't be sorry. Just walk out of here and take a right and you should see an opening, follow that and then you'll see a river and some bridges. Cross the bridge and go through another opening then take a right and follow that path. You should see it." The Redguard gave bad directions. "Okay, thanks." a little confused i walked out and started following the Redguards directions. Go right. Opening. Bridge. Opening. Right. I was standing in front of the Guild when i realized that he didnt give bad directions after all.

Inside, I looked around. I saw a Bosmer, female. I walked up to her. "Excuse m-" "No, Excuse me. I cannot help you. Go find someone else to beg." she said roughly. "no, you do--" "You dont seem to understand what go away means. Hurry on now." Aggrevated already ugh. I continued down the hallway until i saw a female Kahjitt. Knowing my last encounter with a Kahjitt a few years back. I couldn't understand anything the Kahjitt was saying. Knowing those arent the only two in the building i continued on until i saw a stair set downstairs. I was obviously right. I saw a room full of people. I saw a civil looking Imperial drying a glass cup and walked over to him. "Excuse me, can you please help me." i asked. "sure, what do you need." " sorry. I need help finding a man named Favel." i asked. "ahh, Favel. Yeah i can help you. You could find him in the Eight Plates." He said putting the glass down. "Thanks alot." i walked outside. It was almost dark.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

AHHHH sorry i cannot finish the chapter without directions to the Eight Plates.
someone help give me directions to the eight plates from the thieves guild?
What do you think thus far? A little boring until he finds Favel.

Hmm, it's been a few days since I last visited Balmora and even then I mostly pass through wihtout stopping at the eight plates.


Let's see. Walk out of the building (using the entrance you came in through) and head left till you reach the Odai. Cross the bridge over the Odai and keep going straight. You should see a set of stairs going up and to the left. Go up the steps.

You should now see the Council club to your right and the City wall with the Silt Strider to your left. Go forward till you reach the gates. Then, turn right across the plaza and continue past what I call the shopping centre. The road you want has the fighter's and mage's guild on your right and a bookstore on your left. Look at the flags if you're not sure where to look.

You should come across a large flight of stairs moving up from the Odai to your right and going up further towards the Hlaalu section to your left. Right in front of you, there should be a bridge connecting two buildings. Underneath the bridge, there is a door leading into the right building. Go through it and you should arrive at the Eight Plates.


I hope that wasn't confusing. And as for the story, I don't find it boring at all. It brings back memories. I'd ran through Balmora for three gamedays or something just looking for Caius. When I finally found him, I realized I'd been looking on the wrong side of the river. Ah, the first time in a big city, wonderful. Just wait till you get to Vivec.

Seconding Jack's statement, i don't find it boring at all. The hardships he faces as soon as he finds the city...it's all very interesting and i can't wait to read the next part!

i mean i would of found it myself but im at my dads house for the weekend and i dont have morrowind over here. i already know where it is but im not quite sure and ill try to sum up the directions. thanks.

standing in front of the guild. A female Nord in fur, walked past me. "Excuse me." i screamed running towards her. "Yes what do you need?" she answered very sternly. "can you tell me where the Eight Plates are located?" i asked. "haha, the 'Eight Plates' is a building. And you can find it on the other side of the river." "oh, thanks"

I walked off embarrased. I turned around and saw the Nord giggle as she walked away in a diffrent direction. I walked towards the river then crossed the bridge and through another opening and found myself back near the Fighters Guild. To my right i saw a set of stairs heading up. i figured to up that way. Again i was lost. The only person in sight was a guard. It was dark and getting late so i had to find Favel before he left the Eight Plates. I walked up to the guard. "um, excuse me." "yes" he answered. "where is the Eight Plates from here?" i asked. "well your close." i could tell the guard was Dunmer also. "just continue going straight from here. You will find a sort of cross over building go to the right entrance." "This way?" i pointed in the direction i was facing. "yes that way." "okay thank you" i started walking straight like i was told. i saw the building. there was an arch above me. i was told to go through the right entrance.

Inside the building was gloomy. it wasnt very well lit but enough to see. i started at the stair set to my right. The stairs brought me to a rather old man in some iron armor with a shelf full of diffrent armor and small weapons. "Excuse me" the man gave a unusual look. "i was told that a man by the name of Favel would be found here. Do you know him?" i asked. "Oh yes, i know im very well." he kept staring at me. "Oh great. where can i find him?" i asked. "IM Favel!" He released a very low laugh then started coughing. "Oh and you are?" he asked still laughing. "My name is Ugmung." he stopped "ugmung? Well if you are who you say you are, wait here." he walked right past me down towards the stairs. I started looking at the shelf full of weapons. there were many diffrent sorts of small weapons like shortswords, daggers, throwing knifes, a mace and other things along with armor. I saw a bed and sat down. and the end of the bed was a big cloth. i picked it up and threw it right back down. He was the man in the cloak! startled i got off the bed and started to walk towards the shelf again when i ran into Favel. "Woah, careful." Favel said. "here sit" he pulled up a chair right next to his bed. "ahhh, Ugmung....How long has it been six, seven years?" he asked. "um, well, ya-yeah about thhat." i said. "whats wrong?" he asked. "notthing, im justt a littlle coldd." i said. "oh, well it is close to winter. he put this on you'll get warmed up. he handed me the cloak. "no, i fine." i cleared my throat. "are you sure?" he asked disappointed but not supprised. "yes im fine." i said. "well okay then, where were we? Oh yes. How did you get here?" i asked. "Well i rode here on my horse. hes roped up at the entrance." i said. "ohh, ok" as he spoke i noticed he had something rapped up in is arms. "well you can rest here tonight if you like." and with that he got back up and put whatever was in his hands on a table. "well goodnight." he left the room going downstairs again. i sat there staring at the object on the table. i was tired and i laid in the bed. confused. I couldnt go to sleep and Favel never came back up so i just laid there. the all of a sudden it was morning.

I like it. I'm already thinking of what Favel is doing. He's suppose to be Ugmung's Father's best friend, yet it seems like he stole the coin. Can't wait for another update.

i rubbed my eyes and got up tired from the lack of sleep i got. I stood up and saw the wrapped up object again. Curious i walked to the end of the room and walked down the stairs to check if anyone was coming this way. Silence. I quickly walked back up the stairs and looked at the object and tried to remember how it was wrapped so i could rap it back up the same way so he wouldnt notice. i started with the left corner where the end of the sheet was. Once i saw what was inside i dropped it and as soon as i did in the corner of my eye i saw Favel lying against a wall next to the stairs. "I see curiousity killed the Wood Elf" i froze. He started to talk again. "Well i was going to tell you everything but i guess you'll have to wait some more. How about breakfast?" He tossed me a closed flask some bread what looked like an herb spread and walked over to what i dropped and unsheathed my dagger. Here, enjoy. "why di-" i started. "Stop! i told you wait until you eat." i snapped back. i sat in the chair next to the bed and started eating using my knife to spread the herbs on my bread. Favel moved back to where he was before and stood there watching me eat. i finished all but the flask. i put everything on the table. "oh, you must be thristy. Why dont you drink something?" He walked all the way over to me, picked up the flask. "here. you must'nt waste anything." he said holding it out. i grabbed it and looked at him the entire time i was drinking it until i was finished it. i corked it back up and placed it back on the table. "There you go" he said. "Now that your fed. I see that you were a little shocked when you opened that up." he said. "Yeah i was. Why di-" i tried to start again. "must you interrupt?" "back to what i was saying." "me and your Father have been friends a long time.very. to long to say. but obviously he did not tell you something." "well your Father Dorgic, has run into some trouble. And i need your help." "now along with basic manners you must learn the ways of combat and exploration. I will tell you more as we go along. you will keep rather quiet about this, for i am going to teach you everything in my power than send you to someone else. i dont want to hear questions about this matter of your father. "We start today" "go on, grab your stuff" i picked my belt up and started looking if anything was missing. "no need, everything things there come on we must'nt waste time." but i did notice one thing missing. The coin. he started heading down the stairs and looked up when he was at the bottom. "Come on now. This was going to be a very long day.




-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hahahaha more suspense!

I like it ugmung. interesting story line you have going on. It would be easier to read if you broke it up more into paragraphs, opposed to a hunk of story.

yeah i know.....
im just bad at like know when to

Alright then, I'll try to help you out.

When changing scenes, leave a line open. A scene change would be switching to a different place (Balmora-Ald'ruhn or even outside the building-inside the building)
Other scene changes are when something different is happening, like a change of subject in a conversation or a change from talking to action. Sleeping periods are also a good place to start a new paragraph. A new day, a new paragraph to go with it.

During conversations, try to place every new quote on a different line. Like this.
,,Hello." A said.
,,Hello to you two." B responded with a hearty smile.

This helps avoid confusion about who's speaking. It is also a good idea to say from time to time who is speaking as I did in the example above. Cut up long conversations in different paragraphs to keep it readable even if there is no real change of subject.

Make a new paragraph from time to time just in case. The need of paragraphing largely depends on the story you're writing so I can't give you any specific advice. Some parts are best served with long paragraphs while others are best served with short ones. Experiment and try to find what looks best.

thanks....