OK, here's a little something I've been working for the past few weeks, with Minque's great (and much appreciated) help. Hope you like it, but remember: it's far from perfect, just like everything else in life Cheers !
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Edited by minque 27.04.2005

The Outpost


I

The waves were rolling across the sea, all the way from far north, breaking gently upon the shore and his bloodied legs. The water was unusually cold, even at this time of the year, but that could`ve also been his own imagination; "I have lost too much blood and the death is upon me", he thought, "it’s no wonder I feel so cold... but that is unimportant. My lord, Gods, I’ve failed you... forgive me". He gazed upon the star-filled sky once again, then closed his eyes and fell into a restless sleep, full of memories...

The three of them came from the south, just a few days earlier, directly from Ald´ruhn, two Dunmer scouts and Corvin. The Dunmers, Merisa Dralas and her younger brother, Maiev, were loyal servants of Lord Athyn Sarethi years before this assignment and they were both very (unpleasantly) surprised when they learned that they’d have to be subordinated to this foreigner. No one, not even Sarethi’s troop commanders, had a single clue just what did the lord of Great House Redoran saw in this young man.

Indeed, Corvin was more than a skilled swordsman and gifted tactician; however, he was also an Outlander and, on top of all other things, an unbeliever, a member of the Imperial Cult. In the light of all these things it seemed that only Sarethi knew what was so special about this skinny and unusually pale Redguard hireling.

Corvin came to Morrowind province only recently, looking for his fortune, and after several months with The Great House Redoran, after a series of several difficult patrols in the Ashlands, he gained the reputation of a fearsome fighter and an excellent scout.

During one unfortunate Redoran raid on Berandas, an old Dwemer stronghold which was sanctum for bad daedra worshippers, Corvin’s courage, quick thinking and reactions saved more than just a few lives and he was officially recommended for bravery. But, inspite all these events, everyone still got surprised when Sarethi himself decided to name him the leader of a small group of scouts who had the task to lead the investigation of dark events that took place at Bal Voria, the new Redoran stonghold on the northern shores of Vvardenfell.

Bal Voria was a newly built outpost - merely one guard tower, barracks for several guards and an unfinished wall; it stood against the shores, a bit west of the old daedric ruin of Ashurnabitashpi. It was supposed to be the beginning of a new, larger Redoran stronghold, which would monitor and effectively cut down the cultist activity that had grown stronger within that area for the last several years.

After the initial negotiations with Duke Vedam Dren, concerning the Redoran building rights, and the hardship that followed involving the protests of other two Houses, Duke Dren worried himself with stories about rise of old cults and their dark practices, finally gave in and permitted the Redorans to begin building the stronghold.

The first several weeks on the works have passed, surprisingly without any troubles; the second phase, involving the stationing of 8 men and women at Bal Voria got on the way, and everything seemed to be going smoothly...

Then, just one week before Corvin’s expedition, something happened. Silence has covered the north and no reports were sent from the outpost to Ald Velothi, as usual, for days. The commander of Ald Velothi was worried, and therefore he sent three messengers, one by one, to Bal Voria. Not one had returned. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that something vile had happened to the outpost and its guardians. Velothi and Maar Gan lacked sufficient forces for investigation... so, instead of weakening these two settlements, Athyn Sarethi has ordered a rallying of Redoran soldiers, volunteers from Ald-Ruhn and a small group of Ordinators, to form together a company which would then march to the north, take over Bal Voria and find out what ill fortune has befell their brothers and sisters...

Corvin, along with his two companions, were the spearhead and reconaissance of this entire mission - the silent eye which was to come close and see what exactly happened, full two days before everyone else did the same.


II

Corvin was all ready in his black-dyed bonemold armor, prepared to go before sunrise that morning even. Since he never travelled with big loads he only took his trusty Dwemer Jinxsword and two silver daggers, some food, a few healing potions, herbs, and a brand new bonemold longbow with two dozen arrows. When he finished packing all the equipment he kneeled down and made a silent prayer to Nine Divines; to each one of the sacred Imperial spirits he gave his gratitude and trust, promising nothing but valiance in combat. After that, he rose and went outside the city gates, where his two companions, fully armed and ready, waited for him. As soon as they saw him they came silently by his side and all three started their march towards north.

Right after morning broke they became aware that they wouldn’t outrun those dark, rainy clouds, which were gathering from southwest throughout the last day, and that soon proved to be truth. At first the rain fell very quietly and scarcely, but as they made their progress to Maar Gan it really started to pour down like nothing Corvin had seen before.

Soaking to the bone, they passed the Redoran stonghold of Bal Isra and continued to march towards Maar Gan in heavy rain. Soon there wasn`t even one alit or nix hound outside; all living creatures and the Ashlander natives had crawled into their dwellings, while the storm raged outside. However, they continued, in silence, and by early afternoon they finally reached the gate of Maar Gan.

"Hey, you fools, what are you doing here in this lovely weather ?" - the guard`s loud voice, barely came to them through the furious wind and rain;"don`t you see that we`re having the end of the world here ? And above that, there is trouble up north... big trouble !"
Corvin yelled back to the guard:
"We know about all this ! We`re coming from Ald´ruhn... in fact, we`re going after that very trouble, but before we do so a hot bowl of kwama- soup and some dry clothes would really raise our spirits !

The guard said something they didn`t hear, and then waved to them to come in from the rain. They entered the barracks and within minutes their clothes were drying by the fireplace, while everyone in there listened, worried, about the reason they came.
"You must be insane to go up there at once, without backup" - one of the guards argued - "we all have orders to stay put here, all of us except our scout - he went just several leagues from that shrine last night and he heard screams and growling, like someone was skinned alive !"

"He also said he saw several bonfires from distance," replied the other guard "Azura save us, they might`ve burned Bal Voria`s men down alive and....."

"That`s enough out of you two! "

Miles Gloriosus, veteran crusader and defender of Gan, stepped up to Corvin and his companions, shaking their hands:
"These two are acting like frightened old women, but you`ll have to forgive them - us all, in fact. We still don`t have a clue what exactly happened in Voria, or what was the fate of our men there, but we believe that Daedra worshippers from Ashurnabitashpi got them all... we already lost one scout who went out there alone, and the other one wasn`t so enthusiastic about testing his luck. However, he did see fires from a distance and heard several screams, but he still isn`t sure whether they were human or animal. He also said... ah, but that`s just his imagination probably!"

"He said what ?"

Gloriosus shaked his head and replied:
"He told us that he didn`t see the Urshilaku camp at all - not one yurt - as if the entire place just vanished over night... instead, he said, he saw many tall figures with arms and cargo... they might be cultists , but we still don`t believe him entirely and right now I myself don`t know what to think about it. Maybe the Urshilaku packed bags and left in a hurry, but that just doesen`t sound right to me."

"So where is this scout of yours, then?" - Merisa asked - "We would like to hear all he has to say to us."

"Of course... Ronyr, call Glinter and tell him to come at once - we need him to tell us story about his last night... again!"

Several minutes passed by in nervous silence, it seemed more like hours. Finally, Ronyr came back followed by one really small, dark-haired Bosmer. Corvin stood up and shook his hand.

"You must be Glinter, I presume?"
"Indeed, that is my name - but I didn´t get yours?"

"I`m Corvin, scout and retainer of House Redoran" – he replied, while they both took their seats - "I am sent by the order of Lord Sarethi, along with my two associates, to investigate the events at Bal Voria. We were told you`ve come close to it, and the old shrine as well, last night."

"Yes, and much closer than I preferred, too... Oh, don`t start frowning at me ! Many people have gone missing; the rumors say that cult of Mehrunes Dagon is rising up and making more and more human sacrifices and anyone who comes near Voria disappeares without a trace… you must understand that I love my skin more than glory or money - yes, you`ve heard me right - even more than money!"

"I understand; a truly wise warrior goes around trouble, like Ashlanders say, until he can give it a big suprise. But, now that I mentioned Ashlanders, we`d also like to hear news about the Urshilaku camp?"

"What about it ? There is no camp anymore; I tell ya, I was cursing darkness and I rubbed my eyes constantly, but they didn`t deceive me - the camp just isn`t there, but no one here believes me; they make jokes at me and compare me to a scared guar. Bah ! I was the one who stuck his neck out!"

"Calm down, I believe you... is it possible, maybe, that the Urshilaku relocated somwhere when these troubles started to occur?"

"I honestly don`t know where they could have gone, but now when I think of it… maybe they just had enough time to get to the Ald Redaynia`s island – it`s the only relatively peaceful place arround here."

"Probably", Gloriosus said, "I am sure the Ashlanders know how to take care of themselves; this is, after all, their backyard. But now we have other urgent matters. Tell me, please, what kind of reinforcements will come from Ald´ruhn and when ? I am sorry to say this but we can only provide you with surplus and weapons, not manpower."

"That is fine, we just needed a brief rest",Corvin answered, "our troops, several dozen of soldiers and a unit of Ordinators, will arive in a day and a half. We must scout the entire area surrounding the outpost and then report to our troops when they arrive, in order to make the first strike, if needed, the best possible way."

" Now",he turned to Glinter once again, "before we prepare to go I`d like you to tell me if you saw Bal Voria itself – how it looked and if there were some traces of razing?"

"Alas, the darkness prohibited me from seeing correctly in what state the outpost was, but this I can tell you : the defensive wall looked torn down in several places, and the tower was half-broken. Other than that I believe that the place might have been burned or bombarded with some powerful fire-based spells, because I also saw several large debris that looked completely burned… and that`s just about all... "

"It is more than enough, Glinter. You have my gratitude and when we return remind me to buy you some flin. Well, I guess we have some preparing to do now. Sir Larrius, gentlemen, please excuse us."

Corvin stood up once again, and so did Merisa and Maiev; they went to the next room and started to assemble their gear. In the meantime people dispersed, going back to their business, all except Glinter, who stayed for a while longer, looking at the three, shaking his head. Finally, he too turned away and left.
The storm outside continued, as the night began to fall.

cool story. But could i recomend the use of wuotation marks as opposed to hyphons for speech? it would make it a bit easier to read

you´re quite right about that...I´m to blame...did not think that far....

lol i'm here to help

Very nice opening to the story. I have a couple of bits of criticism (nothing too major) and some good things to say.

So, let's get the nasty bits out of the way first:

I'm pretty sure that English isn't your first language (and I know it isn't Minque's). One of the hardest things for non-English speakers is past/present/future tenses. It's particularly noticeable in comments like "nothing Corvin has seen before". Correct useage would be "nothing Corvin had seen before".

Lonewolf has already commented on the use of - instead of " so I'll leave that one alone.

And that, really, is the sum of my criticism ~ except for a couple of lore-related niggles. Larrius Varro is nothing to do with Great House Redoran ~ he's the Imperial Champion at Fort Moonmoth near Balmora. The other is the misspelling of Ald-ruhn

Now the good stuff:

This story starts off with a classic premise, the memories of a critically wounded/dying soldier. The story-telling is excellent, with a nice turn of phrase.

The story is tight ~ by that I mean there is little superfluous material that detracts from the story you're telling. (I am often guilty of getting sidetracked from what I want to say and have to ruthlessly edit my story).

The basic concept ~ some dark and malevolent force ~ is well handled and well written.

You have made an excellent start here and I, for one, look forward to reading how Corvin ended up in the sorry state he's in. I'll just sit here and twiddle my thumbs until the next installment then, okay?

I have always heard that English is one of the hardest languages to learn. Im glad i grew up around it.

But yes. Past, present and furture are things you have to llok out for in your story. Grammer(english style) is very hard to keep strait for a person who doesnt speak english as a first language. Things like their and there are things you need to make sure are used right when you are writing. You never know where to use either one.

Im sure this story could become great. You just need a person who speaks english to go over all your work before you post here. It will make your work seem more... professional. :goodjob:

[quote=OverrideB1]
You have made an excellent start here and I, for one, look forward to reading how Corvin ended up in the sorry state he's in. I'll just sit here and twiddle my thumbs until the next installment then, okay?[/quote]

Well, I'll join OverrideB1 in the thumb twiddling. Which I hate doing, so don't keep us waiting too long for the next installment please

This is a very strong beginning, a nice amount of intrigue and plenty of fascinating characters. The dialogue, which many people find the hardest, is exceptionally good. Very natural, and I can hear the characters saying the words, and getting a sense of who they are. A very difficult skill, and one you've done brilliantly well. Keep it coming please

[quote=OverrideB1]Very nice opening to the story. I have a couple of bits of criticism (nothing too major) and some good things to say.

So, let's get the nasty bits out of the way first:

I'm pretty sure that English isn't your first language (and I know it isn't Minque's). One of the hardest things for non-English speakers is past/present/future tenses. It's particularly noticeable in comments like "nothing Corvin has seen before". Correct useage would be "nothing Corvin had seen before".
[/quote]
:paperbag2: Damnit, you're right, it should be "had seen".

[quote=OverrideB1]
And that, really, is the sum of my criticism ~ except for a couple of lore-related niggles. Larrius Varro is nothing to do with Great House Redoran ~ he's the Imperial Champion at Fort Moonmoth near Balmora. The other is the misspelling of Ald-ruhn
[/quote]

:paperbag2: :paperbag2: :paperbag2: Now this IS a major blunder - there's, actually, one Imperial crusader in Maar Gan, Miles Gloriosus, and I *was* thinking about him, but how on earth I managed to put Varro's name instead of his is beyond me. But, I live to serve, so I'll just re-edit the second part :paperbag2:
However... we're all buddies here and, what's more important, we're TES fans - you, me, Minque... heck, sometimes I have serious trouble with my own language and grammar so, once again, I have to apologise in advance. Of course, you should all feel free to point out mistakes, typos and the abuse of beautiful english language if they wear their ugly heads again (see, I believe that this very sentence has some already ).
Cheers !
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III

The darkness was all around them and inside them, thick and heavy; it slipped into their minds and hearts; it filled them with fear and doubt. Corvin, Maiev and Merisa have been slowly moving across the countryside for hours, enduring strong winds and rain, which finally began to fade. They avoided main roads and dangerous places; however, this proved to be hard, due to the fact that Corvin chose the harder path, one that lead them to a point dangerously near Falasamaryon; but, in spite of that, they only had two encounters with hostile forces. The first one was a huge ogrim who got filled with arrows even before he managed to close in on them, but even then Corvin had more than enough trouble with him, dodging his blows and using his superior speed to finally put down the huge beast.

The second enemy was a much stranger one - it was an unarmored orcish warrior in a dark robe that saw them before they managed to spot him, but he didn’t take advantage of this. Instead, he charged them with nothing but a vicious smile and a dagger which later proved to be of daedric making, heavy and deadly. His very first attack struck Maiev hard, and he immediately fell down, moaning in pain; Corvin and Merisa, in return, landed several hard blows themselves on the orc`s unprotected body; thus, when the Orc fell he just kept smiling and, before Corvin could even ask him to yield, he thrusted his own chest with the previously mentioned dagger without a single scream. The scouts were in a state of shock - everything was over in less then thirty seconds, but everyone was still shaking, as if the battle still lasted.

Maiev, still lying on the ground, came out of that trance first:
"What... what in the name of Vivec`s mercy was that ? Why did this ugly s`wit charged at us like a madman ?!"
"Hold still, brother" - Merisa kneeled down, opening her sack with herbs - " I believe that we finally met one of those fiends responsible for the attack on Bal Voria... there - now, try and act more careful in the future, I can’t watch over you all the time. Corvin, what do you make of him ? Corvin ?"

Corvin was examining the orc`s body and he didn’t hear Merisa the first time; at the second mentioning of his name he quickly turned to them.
"Well, I can surely say he’s a madman... no potions, he only had boots as armor, and this daedric dagger as a weapon... but what kind of a madman walks around these parts carrying only a copy of 'Arkay the Enemy' ", he raised the book, stained with the orc's own blood "and corkbulb roots ? They’re not native to this part of island."
"Is there something else on his body, some scrolls, potions, anything ?"
"Yes, there is a note and one magic scroll... one of them is an instruction for this warrior – ‘If anyone comes within your range, kill them; but if they overpower you, you know what do. E’. Hmm... The scroll is for some sort of summoning spell, but I can’t make anything out of it. Would any of you know how to read it ?"
"Let me see that" - Merisa came closer and started to read the long daedric inscriptions; her eyes widened - "this is a Summon Daedra spell... by Vivec`s grace, we were damn lucky he didn’t use it ! We would all be roasted now !"
"Maybe he thought he could take on the three of us at once, all by himself, without a problem ?"
"Yes, he was probably an idiot, Maiev, but that still doesn’t explain some things. If this orc WAS someone’s sentry, that person is probably the worst judge of character, sending a madman to be a lookout. And besides, why was he so poorly equipped ? Glinter told us he saw lots of people moving supplies - it all doesn’t make much sense..."
"Whatever. I believe we must now avoid main roads, just like before, and find some safe place for shelter. It’ll be hard, though, since the whole area around Ashurnabitashpi is quite flat and completely without vegetation."
"We’ll find some shelter, but first let’s try to come near Voria and see how it looks."
"Very well, boss. Since Maiev is wounded, do you want me to take the point ?"
"No. I’ll go ahead and you follow from the flanks. Remember: lay low and attack only if there is no other choice. Let’s go."

Corvin led the trio, creeping slowly trough the night. It seemed that they were sneaking for hours trough the lowlands, but finally the outpost of Bal Voria came into their sight. Corvin then used one of his special spells, Nighthawk’s Sight - a combination of Night Eye and Longvision, which allowed him to see things clearly at great distances in night. The scene he saw after he cast the spell shook him up badly.

The outpost was completely ransacked. Those words of the Bosmer scout weren’t quite truthful, because the entire complex - the walls, barracks and the watchtower were burned and demolished in a very savage way. Several completely scorched human bodies and debris of buildings were lying scattered all over the place, some even tens of feet away from the site of destruction, and Corvin was trying hard to imagine the power and the fury of spells which would be able to do such damage. He glanced at the remains of Voria for several seconds more, and then he turned his eyes a bit to the east. The shrine of Ashurnabitashpi was intacked, and there were several torch lights there, as well as some big, dark figures outside, probably daedric servants. As the spell faded, leaving his mana nearly emptied, Corvin had his fists and teeth clenched in anger. He spoke as he turned behind to scouts:
"I’ve counted them, and there aren’t that many forces, I believe the Ordinators themselves could wipe them out easily. We should try to go back and... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ?!"
Merisa stood over him with the bloodied dagger they had taken from the dead orc. Behind her was Maiev, lying in a pool of his own blood, his throat slit from one side to the other. She smiled as she kicked Corvin in the head:
"Sweet dreams, boss !"
Darkness engulfed him as he lost consciusness.

EDIT: As requested, made some slight changes

Interesting twist there at the end

Add spaces between paragraphs and speech in your story more.

:goodjob:

[quote=jonajosa]Add spaces between paragraphs and speech in your story more.:goodjob:[/quote]

The block of text in the middle, would be easier to read if there was some spaces, but having read through it fairly carefully, I can only see one part which I would consider to be a natural break. A space before,

"Corvin was examining the orc`s body and he didn’t hear Merisa the first time" wouldn't break the flow of the story, so it could work there.

However, stick with the spaces you feel are correct, and are where you want them. Writing a story has to be for yourself, I wouldn't necessarily worry about pandering to the reader too much. Be aware that we don't want to strain our eyesight over it , so to that end, I'd use double spaces between paragraphs, but obviously the content of the story is the most important part.

Now, on to the story itself. Cruel ending, caught me by surprise that, now I have to wait to see what will happen to Corvin, and who Merisa is working for. Meany. Oh, and the Nighthawk’s Sight spell is very cool. Keep it up, I'm thumb twiddling again now whilst awaiting the next installment.

IV


Reawakening wasn’t easy, to say the least; it wasn’t even immediate. It was a blunt, painful process: Corvin first started hearing voices of his captors; then, some feeling came back to his limbs and he was overwhelmed by hurting from many cuts and bruises he received that night; after that, he started smelling various odors – the stench of blood, vomit, candle wax, burned flesh, and something even worse that made his stomach turn. Finally, he was able to see again, although darkness still ruled in this horrid place, but his regained sight didn’t bring him comfort.

He was in a daedric shrine, no doubt about it. From the place he was lying at he saw seldom red and green dimmed lights, and a few tall figures moving around a huge statue in front of him. Corvin knew what god resided here; the muscular, four-handed figure of Mehrunes Dagon, Lord of Destruction, was a recognizable sight even from the back. Since he knew only one shrine in whole area that belonged to Mehrunes he instantly knew where he ended up – he was in Ashurnabitashpi, the presumed beginning of all troubles. He then took one look at himself and his situation became painfully clear: multitude of his wounds told him that this time he might have reached the end of his rope.

"So, here is where all the fun is" – he mumbled ironically.
One of the figures heard his weak voice and rushed towards him. When it got close he saw that this was another mean-looking orc.
"Awake again, ha ? Well then, here’s another one for you !"
By saying that, orc waved his fist widely and directed a devastating blow right into Corvin’s nose. Pain overwhelmed him and he felt salty, warm blood running to his mouth. His nose was crushed and the pain gave Corvin new awareness – not at all pleasant, however.
"You are a fine piece of meat, Redguard, but before we have some more fun our leader wants to talk to you about some important matters – but don’t worry, I will be back to make your final moments most unpleasant."

As orc stepped aside and faded with his brethren into the shadows he left the chamber with only one figure standing in the lightless corner; slowly, like a ghost gliding trough the fumes, robed figure came ever closer to Corvin and he was soon aware that he had one well dressed, proud looking Altmer in front of him.
"Are you… the leader of these… these animals ?"
"My dear boy, I shall be the one who asks questions. However, since we aren’t the brutes you think we are I’ll indulge your curiosity – to some level. I am Elgorin the sorcerer and I'm, truly, the commander of this expedition. Don’t bother to introduce yourself since I don’t care for your name or title. I only care for things you might know."
"Expedition ? I thought that the cult of Mehrunes Dagon existed in these parts of island long ago ? Are you not cultists ?"
"So many questions" – Altmer slowly raised his eyebrows – "from one who is in such unenviable position... surely, even you could have guessed by now we’re not some unorganized bunch of daedra worshipers. No, our humble contingent is made for one purpose only: to take back the land which is rightfully ours and drive your hard-headed Redoran kind out of here or into the cold ground - whatever you prefer first. So, if you’re still in the dark because of your inferior intellect let me help you - we are Telvanni who are here because you’ve played with our patience for too long. Construction of Bal Voria was the last straw and that is why all of this has happened - your arrogance has to be punished."

Corvin’s bloodshot eyes widened and a shade of anger covered his face. In his mind parts of the picture started to connect and he was, at last, able to understand what really happened here.
"Telvanni ? So you have come here, turned our outpost into a pile of ashes and murdered all of our people because you needed to punish us ? Because of the land grabbing ?! Stendarr curse you, of all people on this island you should be the ones to talk about it ! House Redoran had settlements in these parts for centuries and we had to build Bal Voria to protect them !"
Altmer was still standing firmly, but now Corvin was able to sense irritation in his voice:
"Really, is that so ? And I suppose that you would use the same excuse if the inhabitants of Valenvaryon and Zergonipal became rowdier ? You would ask duke Dren to permit you even more strongholds ? Bah, it doesn't even matter... Vedam Dren is hollow shell of a man he once was, since the feud with his brother. He doesn't give a slightest thought about your own lives if he believes you'll keep peace here in north... but enough of this ! I shall ask you several questions now, Redguard, and it is in your best interest to answer them all truthfully. First of all, we want to know the exact number of your men who are marching here - now, don't look so surprised... we have - or rather, we had - our spy for some time in Ald-Ruhn, but sadly she herself couldn't find out some facts which you certainly know. Since I don't have much time left to bother myself with you will tell me about strength of your forces, their movement route and the place where you were supposed to meet them - now ?"
"Even if it was all true... and what if I say no ?"
"As much as I would like to spill some of your blood myself I am really busy right now, so I think that several more minutes with our spy will be sufficient. When she's done with you you'll tell us all you know... and maybe even something you don't know."
"Her... I suppose that your spy is Merisa ?"
"If you wish to talk about someone in presence of that person" - clear female voice came from the dark corners on the right side of chamber - "you should speak to that person; otherwise, you risk to be very, very rude."

By saying those words Merisa Dralas stepped out of the darkness and started to walk slowly across the room, to the place where Corvin was lying. With every soft, silent step she made he started to recollect all the gruesome details; every cut of a blade, every strike of a club, every single wound he endured while he was under the effect of paralysis - and she was responsible for the most of them, doing the job with some fearsome hatred she barely managed to conceive. He felt chills when she came to him at last and put her hand on his shoulder.
"You... damn you. Damn you to Oblivion."
Merisa just smiled and turned to Elgorin:
"You were right, master Elgorin. He won’t speak to us… not yet. Give me just half an hour alone with him and I’ll make him tell us all we need to prepare our ambush properly."
"Very well, you have that time. Do you want me to paralyze him again so you can work in peace ?"
"There is no need, master. He is so weak that he can’t even raise his hand on me."
"Fine… but, just to be safe" – Elgorin pulled out a small vial from his robe and approached Corvin, forcing him to drink its contents; and then, he spoke to Merisa again:
"That was the extract of daedroth’s saliva. It will completely drain his strength and render him powerless to do anything. Take this antidote for it; in case you get in contact with his blood it will heal you. When you finish interrogation send the guard to call me… and remember: we don’t want to kill him just yet – he can still be of use to us !"
Elgorin gave Corvin one more quick look, full of despise and loathing, after which he turned away and left the shrine with haste trough the main exit. Corvin and Merisa were now completely alone and tense silence filled the great hall of Mehrunes Dagon.

Merisa spoke first, while slowly drawing that same daedric dagger with which she executed her brother:
"Come on, ask me before I start... go ahead ! Aren’t you going to ask me about all this ? If my memory serves me right you are one of the more curious Redoran lap-dogs."
"Ask you what ? Why did you murder your own brother in such brutal and cowardly way ? Or why are you working for the Telvanni ? Even if you told me what was your real name I would not believe one word you said, traitor. You can torture me even more or finish me right away, but either way it doesn’t matter. You won’t get the answers you seek from me – they will follow me into my grave."
"Haha ! Merisa is really my birthname and you will not die for much longer – you heard our leader... but in the end, filthy Redoran scum, you have no right to call me traitor. I am what I am, loyal to my real ancestors and their call for vengeance."
"Vengeance ? Is that what they call murder and mutilation nowadays ?"
Merisa swung the dagger across Corvin’s chest and he moaned in pain. A new stream of blood started to flow from the cut as she continued to talk.
"Murder, and a mass one, was the atrocity that servants of House Redoran committed nearly three decades ago in a small Ashlander settlement near Berandas, when they slayed everyone there - that is, everyone except me. I was only a child at the time, but even now I clearly remember everything – the screams, our yurt in flames, bodies of my mother and father in the dust... I was taken to Ald-Ruhn where the Dralas family adopted me and tried to mold me into a obedient little Redoran, and I've made them believe they could do just that, while I was telling myself every single day that I shall have my revenge... Mephala be praised, Telvani have made that possible for me when they approached me last year. This incident with Bal Voria came to us unexpected, but nevertheless, I caused enough damage to your damn House. Here and now we only have few things left to accomplish; after we destroy the troops Sarethi has sent our council in Sadriht Mora will persuade duke Dren to leave protection of these parts of Vvardenfell to House Telvanni... by then I’ll have a high rank within it and your bones, you miserable fool, will be long forgotten."
"And what about bones of Maiev and defenders of Voria ? Do you believe that they shall also be forgotten ?"
"Maiev, that sniveling little brat... as long as I can remember I hated him. To be honest, his death hasn't brought me as much satisfaction as I hoped, but at least he's rotting in wilderness now. But enough of this nonsense ! You will give me some answers right away if you don't want to experience a whole new volume of pain..."
Corvin suddenly felt the storm of long repressed fury rising in him. Holding his feelings back he spoke trough clenched teeth:
"All right, Merisa. I will tell you all you need to know about our troops, but first I need to give you one more information you've overlooked. Please, come closer..."
"What is it ? What do you want to tell me ?"
"This: Anger only gives birth to more anger. You should know that best !"

The adrenaline tide that hit Corvin's bloodstream and heart in a split second, speeding it up nearly to the point of breaking, gave him enough strength to jump right off the ground and onto Merisa who, shocked, only managed to open her mouth. However, before she was even able to mutter a single scream, Corvin shoved his right hand into it, while with his left hand he grabbed her fist with dagger, still slippery from his own blood, and aimed it at her larynx. Two of them have tumbled down on the floor and struggled only for few brief moments, long enough for Merisa to brutally bite Corvin's hand and for Corvin to drive the dagger all the way to the hilt into Merisa' throat, turning it for half circle. River of blood gushed up from Merisa's neck and she died in the same way as Maiev, with her eyes still open wide in astonishment.

Corvin himself needed several more seconds to come to his senses, because he too was now in a state of shock; finally, he realized that he had only a short time left until the effects of adrenaline faded. He then turned to Merisa's body and started to search trough it feverishly, but he did not find anything on her, except the dagger and Elgorin's antidote, which he drank immediately. As soon as he started to feel the effect of potion he made a desperate rush toward shrine's side entrance, slowing his pace down to creeping when he got near them. He leaned against the heavy stone door as quietly as possible, attempting to hear what was going on outside; since he didn’t hear anyone he half-opened it and, as soon as he was able to squeeze trough them, he sneaked out, closed the door back and tried to sink into shadows. Nearly at the same tame he noticed one figure coming straight at him. He hugged the dark walls as best as he could while figure came closer. It eventually turned out to be another orc, who was under heavy influence of alcohol and in a bad mood, mumbling something about the “damn slave drivers”. Five paces from the place where Corvin tried to hide himself orc stopped and turned around, leaning on the wall, giving the Redguard a good opportunity to use those few remaining seconds of extra strength and speed so he could strike and kill him from behind – not at all worthy of one warrior, but Corvin has already banished all things from his mind except thoughts of his own survival.

As he fell beside orc’s lifeless body he began another desperate search of it and this time luck gave him a wide smile: underneath his steel armor, beside an empty jug of sujjama, orc had carried two potions which restored a part of Corvin’s strength and endurance, enabling him to drag back orc’s corpse back into the shrine. There Corvin noticed one more lucky circumstance: orc was just a few inches taller than him and his clothes were fitting for him. He then took off orc’s boots and gauntlets, as well as his robe; he tore up his own shirt, which was already in tatters, so he could use it to bandage his legs and the hand Merisa has bitten. At last, after he’s put on everything he pulled the heavy hood over the face as much as he was able and so, for the second and last time that night, Corvin left the Ashurnabitashpi shrine.

___________

NOTE: The following part was re-edited and de-bugged only by me and NOT by Minque, so if there are some more blunders in it let ME have the ugly end of the stick :lickinglips: Cheers !

you smell odours you don't feel them
Telvanni has two n's
It's spelled Ald Ruhn
Other than that good story

made even more edits :paperbag2: damnit, I can't spell Ald-Ruhn to save my live

lol at least you learn from your mistakes and fix them. Better to make mistakes and learn from them than to never make mistakes at all

[quote=milanius]made even more edits :paperbag2: damnit, I can't spell Ald-Ruhn to save my live [/quote]

Aww sweetie, I´ll help you, I did a bad job in the first place.....but our mates here are kind enough to help us, so it´s no problem

always a pleasure to help a potential author

[quote=LoneWolf]always a pleasure to help a potential author [/quote]

thank you....you´re very sweet and kind.....

:embarrassed2: thanks Minque

found some help then huh?

yeah....gonna check it...erhmm later not tonight, it´s time for a ...

Niiiiiiice :goodjob:

I must apologize for being late - I've been caught up with several other obligations and they've eaten all my spare time...
______________


V


Corvin’s plan at this point, as he was able to move fairly well, was quite simple: move away from the temple in a wide arc and then go for the ravine where Redoran and Ordinator troops were supposed to pass, so he could warn them about the trap Elgorin was setting for them; he had only one advantage - the night just became even more unpleasant as the strong winds from Red Mountain, without warning, started to spread ash and dust.

Sadly, his plan worked only for the first several seconds, after which he heard a loud, angry yell behind him.
"Bugrub, you drunken hard-headed sot ! Have I not told you, not once, but ten times, to get to your guarding post and STAY there ?!"
Corvin turned around slowly, with his head bowed down, trying to remain calm. Underneath the robe he squeezed dagger’s handle, knowing that this time his chances for survival are minimal. Orc’s furious voice became louder as he approached Corvin and roughly grabbed his arm:
" … but no, he is too damn keen on booze and nothing else but booze, right ? Well now, sir, if you don’t want to stay put in one place you will haul cargo like everyone else !"
Corvin realized to his amazement that the orc, which he recognized as the one who broke his nose, haven’t even looked at his face, half-covered by hood; instead, he simply continued to drag him along, still thinking that beneath dark cultist robe was his subordinate, drunkard Bugrub. He sent a silent prayer to Divines, thanking them for ash storm and those few scattered clouds that still covered moon, deciding to play along for the moment: he started to imitate drunken staggering the best he could, while his angry enemy pulled him further, back to the place where once stood Urshilaku camp.

Once they both came close to the center of camp Corvin saw that ashlander yurts made place for several tents and piles of boxes with supplies, although there was no sign of violence or razing anywhere. There were various boxes with clothing, food, some potions and weapons and other miscellaneous things, but Corvin noticed one particular pile of crates which was loaded onto three separate guar carts by a group of some twenty dunmers and orcs. That was the very place where his captor took him and threw him on the ground near the crate pile. Corvin luckily fell on his face, without anyone else seeing it, and started to get up off the ground as slow as he could, while orc yelled once more trough the furious winds:
"Get up now and work, you honoured user ! Gurshak, get your but back to the shrine and guard the rear exit instead of this drunken scum !"

As the two orcs moved away from him and other workers, Corvin carefully moved pass everyone and came close to the crates. He then took one of them and started to carry it toward the closest cart. When he got a quick chance to look into it he examined its content and saw something that made him tremble: the box was filled to the top with bags of one alchemical powdered mixture which he recognized as the same one that was used for explosive satchel charges. A small amount of that stuff was able to turn a huge rock into pebble, and miners of great Houses have used it sometimes, when they had to clear rockslides in ebony or glass mines - but every time with great caution and fright. However, there were boxes and boxes filled with it and Corvin was terrified. "This is intended for our boys... enough to turn them all into dust", he thought and hope started to fade in him. Mechanically, just like a puppet whose strings were pulled, he loaded the crate onto cart and slowly turned back for the next; no one bothered to look at him, as everyone seemed to be in a great hurry. On his way back, his mind was racing and one weak thought came to him, derived trough expirience from those few precious years he spent studying alchemy: he knew that this powder wouldn't burn all by itself, even if it was left in a very dry and warm place, unless if someone set it off with at least one spark. When he came back to the crates he stopped and looked around the camp, trying to find anything that would help him to set it on fire, but there was not even one campfire in sight. In desperation, he turned his eyes to the north of the camp, where he saw few tents and one table in front of them. No one was near those tents at the moment and Corvin noticed several scrolls on it, which finally made him decide what he had to do.

Once Corvin loaded the second crate he turned around and started to walk back calmly. After he came back to the crate pile he just walked past it and continued towards the scroll table, speeding his pace up nearly to running, careless for the other workers and their angry shouts directed to him. Once he got to it, he started to rummage through the scrolls, praying to Nine that he would find something suitable.
"Hey, you idiot... what are you doing ? Come back here !"
Corvin didn't pay attention to yelling, as he franticly searched... "Summon Scamp, Summon Skeleton, Paralysis... Hellfire ! YES !" - he grabbed the scroll, turned back to face the crates and started, very poorly, to read the magical incantation. Shouts aimed at him have risen by two octaves and several nearest workers started to run to him; but the very next second it was all too late, because Corvin finished reading. Scroll burst into fire between Corvin's palms, creating a solid ball of dark orange and red flames, half foot wide, which he then aimed, along with his last prayer to the Divines, right into the crates with powder.

Tremendous explosion shook the camp at the moment when fiery projectile hit the center part of crate pile, turning several boxes at once into scorched, heated mass. Corvin, who stood on the edge of camp, but still not very far from the crates, was thrown away by the fury of initial explosion. He flew all the way over the northern coastal edge, landing right into the sea. Telvanni and their mercenaries weren't so lucky: huge, fierce fire started to rampage all around the camp, several other explosions came after the first one, as everything flammable started to burn, and screaming and cries filled the night.

Corvin somehow managed to swim up to the surface, throwing up water which got into his lungs. Battered, bloodied and exhausted beyond all limits, he threw away all armor and clothes except his pants and started to swim back to the shore, as far away from the shrine as he could. Nothing was important to him anymore; he didn't noticed fires he instigated in the Telvanni camp, or the small slaughterfish that started to approach him trough the dark waters - the only thing he thought about now was getting back to shore, even if it kills him. He continued to swim, wasting away remains of his strength, while seconds started to look more like hours in his weary mind. At last, after several painful bites he endured from slaughterfish, he reached one small cove. The rocky shore was empty; all the animals, frightened by the noise and fires, had fled, leaving it deserted. Corvin turned back; ash storm has finally started to fade and he managed to spot contours of flame on the east - and after that he just collapsed to the ground. Before his mind sunk into haze he recollected everything that went down that night; then, he felt cold waves that splashed, slowly and gently, near his feet.
"I have lost too much blood and the death is upon me", he thought, "it's no wonder I feel so cold... but that is unimportant. My lord, Gods, I've failed you... forgive me". He gazed upon the star-filled sky once again, then closed his eyes and fell into a restless sleep, full of memories...

ITs ok i know how you feel. We could have waited longer if you needed more time.

:goodjob: keep it up (at your own pace)

Another good installment, but there's still a few places with the present tense instead of the past tense, one example being [quote]all the animals, frightened by the noise and fires, have fled[/quote]
This should be had fled

I know..i´ll check it later on....

lol well you can't catch them all
that's what i'm here for

thanks sweetie.......have a :cake:

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....................cake