Hi did not know where to post this one, so i just post it here.

And now, presenting the work that would make Tolkien turn in his grave

The One, The Only

F3ll0wship of teh R1ng!

[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]
Merry: "Omg, I pwn"
Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"
**Rocket goes off
Gandalf: "Pwned!"

Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos"
Bilbo has left the server
Frodo: "***!?"

[later, in Bag End]
Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo"
Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!"
Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!"
Bilbo: "ok"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire

**Later
Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!"
**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back
Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!"
Frodo: "***?"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Frodo has been kicked from The Shire
Sam has been kicked from The Shire

[At Isengard]
Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!"
Gandalf: "***?!"
Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!"
Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet"
**Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf
Saruman: "Pwned!"

[on the road to Bree]
Merry: "look foos, shrooms!"
Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!"
Frodo: "Ph34r!"
Sam: "Shrooms!"
Frodo: "PH34R!1!1"
**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past
Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!"

[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]
**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips
Frodo has left the server
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd"
Aragorn: "OMG, noobz"

[at Weathertop]
Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!"
**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!
Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"

**the black riders attack
Merry: "OMG!!!"
Sam: "O.M.G!!!11"
Pippin: "***"
Frodo has left the server
**head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "***... hax!"
**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand
Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!"
Merry: "LOLOL flamed! "

[on the road to Rivendell]
Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!"
**Arwen rides up
Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?"
Arwen: "Sif! *** is up with Frodo?"
Sam: "teh leet Hax0r "
Arwen: "Firewall?"

**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.
Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"
**nazgul start to cross
Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"
**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away
Warning: Connection Problems Detected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
Arwen: "Pwnt"

[at the Council of Elrond]
Gimli: "dwarves pwn!"
Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!"
Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!"
Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!"
**Frodo puts the ring on the plinth
Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!"
**Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters
Elrond: "**sigh, noob"

[Frodo meets up with Bilbo]
Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!"
Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!"
Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?"
**Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring
Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!"
Frodo: "sif!"
Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril"

[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell]
**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains
Legolas: "ZOMG, leet gfx!"
Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS"
**There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf
Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1"
Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?"
Gimli votes to change map to Moria
Votes 4 of 4 required
Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!"

[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria]
Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?"
**The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks!
Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!"
Boromir: "GL HF"
Aragorn [broadsword] guardian
Legolas [arrow] guardian
Gandalf: "gg"

[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria]
Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!"

**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well
Gandalf: "teh bookz0r has some clues!"
**Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well
Gandalf: "OMG! noob!"
Merry: "d'oh"
**The fellowship hears the ork drums
Boromir: "***?"
Aragorn: "***?"
Frodo: "..."
Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<"
**the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come
Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!"
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
ork: "OMG! h4x!"
Gimli: "pwned"!
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas: "lol!!"
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli: "Foos!"
Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "ffs, wallhax!"
**The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors
Gandalf: "Oh ffs!"
Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!"
Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!"
**Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo
Sam: "OMG!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
Aragorn: "omg, pwn!"
**Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head
Legolas [arrow] cavetroll
Ork: "OMG! PWNED!"
Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs"
**The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks
Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!"
**A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw
Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
**The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows.
Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!"
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "AIMBOT!"
ork: "turn it off!"
Legolas: "lolol!"
**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog
Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!"
Balrog: "***?"
Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!"
Balrog: "Sif, noob"
**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight
Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!"
Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!"
**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf
Gandalf: "D'oh"
Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!"
Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!"
**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass
Gandalf has left the server
Balrog has disconnected

[After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien]
**The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel
Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!"
Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?"
Galadriel: "******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1"

[The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river]
Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!"
uruk hai: "leet!"

[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp]
**Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him
Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ** hax can fight teh boss!"
Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!"
Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers"
Frodo: "STFU noob"
Frodo has left the server
Boromir: "***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!"

**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir
Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!"
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Boromir: "****ing campers"
**Aragorn comes across the battle
Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! ***!"
Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!"
Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai
Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!"
**Aragorn goes to Boromir
Boromir: "Damn lag!"
Warning: Connection problems detected
Boromir has disconnected
Aragorn: "FFS!"

[Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him]
Sam: "Frodo! ***! Invisibility h4x!"
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!"
Sam: "Sif!"
Frodo: "Oh, ffs n00b!"

Ok for thode of you who dont know what it was supposed to be,its the lord of the rings in CS style.

That was hillarious! I played CS one time in my entire life, and since then I've never touched that game again . But I still understood the story since it was general leet-speak all the way. The only word I don't understand is "Sif", that must be a CS-specific thing or a from a very elaborate type of leet..

Did you write it Tel? If so then please get working on The Two Towers!

(Oh yeah, btw, it wasn't Merry that pushed the skeleton down the well, it was Pippin )

OH Doh...I'll try working on the two towers...spent about six days on that one though.

but yeas you are completely right, Pippin pushed the skellie down the well...whats happening to me, imust be slipping.

Here's Teh Sequel... j00 n00bs !

STFU fRODeO dunt' pwn 111!!!I pwn!1!!!!!!!!11

th15 wus gud, bU+ not a5 pwnge a5 m3.

There's a LOTR mmorpg coming out, so players might do those things you know? Kill orcs like their hacking, speak with 1337 speech etc. But overall it was hilarious.

hrrmmmm I think a dictionary for leet-speak would be appropriate! We oldies don´t understand that language....so well....

Took the words right out of my mouth

Everyone else seems to have found it funny though, so maybe we should just laugh and pretend we had a clue what it said

Wll janus and minkey, to understand it, youmust have played cS for a time...i never played it so much myself, but my closest friend play it the whole time...after a while you learn that language....

but you could try to think what they would say in normal language...it's quite difficoult in the beginning,but you learn it over time.

I only knew what was going on through the books and the movies. But yeah, I laughed my lungs out when I imagined them all squeeling in a high voice and saying those things. The disconnected to server thingies were also amusing.

Leet isn't so hard to understand. I mean, the way Telendil pointed it out here it's quite easy. You should really follow her advice and play some CS. It helps clear out the lungs when you clearly see that you're shoting someone in the head repeated times and he doesn't die. Pure hax. In reality I really don't play it on my own but whenever I visit my cousin, CS is the only game he has. And he also cheats like hell.

Being one of the oldies... I don't get the point of leet speak either. I understood the shortcut language used in Everquest such as afk/oom/brb. I guess those made sense to me cause of typing time, but leet seems like it would take twice as long to type out then using actual language.

I could read a fair amount of that, and it was hilarious, but there was a lot of it i didn't get
And i don't get the excuse of being old lol

Understood all of it, didn't find it the slightest funny. "Leet-speak" is something that only belongs in FPS games and that's where it should stay.

Oh yes, we here at the W4O only have the most high brow of tastes.

Nice one

That trashy form of talking belongs no where near our beautiful fantasy RPGs and books, let it dwindled upon by the paupers down in the FPS genre, har har!

Yeah, I understood it, it didn't seem like leet speak to me at all, just CS speak.

For those wondering what the point is of talking that way, I'll tell you. These people are 12-15 that play CS. At that age, people are trying to find themselves. Look at Kindred, every post he makes is an essay about random stuff. It's because he's trying to find himself, so he writes about himself constantly. These players are trying to be cool in the new form of cool, when people in a game like you. They also have their minds melted to the game so they get frustrated easily and just immaturely explode onto the screen everytime they get killed. That's the reason shooters should be banned from the hands of people under 15, they're immature and they ruin the game for the adults, and it does something to their heads I heard.

Starting from the begining I will point out everything i didn't understand, if someone helps me understand it I would appreciate it.

pwn= pawn? as in own?
Sif= some kind of sound that you made up?..like some kinda grunt?

shiz, bai foos" =??????? is this supposed to be sh*t, bye fools?
ringz0r= huh, why isn't is just ring?

g4nd4lf da gr3y= after spelling the name right earlier why is it with numbers now?
joo= jew? who? I don't get it....
leet= as in the language? or elite?
Gandalf = and here it is spelled without nmbers again.....

"Ph34r!" = what is this?
"PH34R!1!1" = ??? huh?
packetloss!"= what does this mean?

MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!! = how so? snoring?
Ph34r haxorz = O dpn't know either of these words

!11" = one/eleven what?
LOLOL = what is the second O and L for?

ZOMG = what is the Z for?
A/S/L = what is this?
net secks?" = what's this mean?

Arwen: "Firewall?" = i don't get it...server hacks have nothing to do with firewalls...right?

nazgul has disconnected = x7 iinstead of VV
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected

plinth = what's a plinth?

TK= totally kill?

FFS=frames for shots?

draw distance !1!!1 what are these one's and what is draw distance?
Votes 4 of 4 - if there are 9 in the fellowship then wouldn't it need to be 5 of nine?
time to upgrade! = Did they? I don't remember a change of equiptment etc. ...

GL HF= good luck and have fun? that doesnt fit after something attacks.....
gg = ....not really.... they didn't beat it and it didn't kill them....

bookz0r = the books z or?
orks = isn't it orc?
TEAMS FFS = what is this?

wallhax!" ? this is where people hack the barriers?
FFS! Teams = is this different from the thing two lines up?

Chex0r = check? or????

ork: "AIMBOT!" = I don't get it....
ork: "turn it off!"

crevass = is this misspelled intentionally?

Punkbuster= what is a punkbuster?
non-pb servers = non-public broadcast servers?
faghat = makes not sense

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir times 8 instead of VV
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Sam 'sees' him = why is sees in the semi quote marks?
FOAD! = for original age durangement?

thode = those? is this intentional or accidental?
CS = construction set?


with so much that I didn't understand I found this more annoying than amusing, perhaps if it hadn't taken so much effort to try to understand what was being said it would have been better, but I still doubt I would have loved it b/c the idea seems.....off of my tastes .....I don't love lord of the rings either....so...oh well... by the way, I am not old and I still didn't know most of that stuff, I am twenty, which is about middle to young in terms of gamers age. B/c of that I think that 30+ yr olds should quit saying its b/c they are old that they don't understand certain things, b/c age has less to do with it than you are making it seem.

I disagree very strongly with you. I never made up lingo when I was younger, especially not to "find myself." I don't think you should point kindred out either, even if you were correct about him, which I am unsure of b/c I haven't paid attention, it is a little mean to single someone out like that. I didn't get frustrated easily when I died in games, even when I was young and playing shooters...so I think you are over generalizing. I do think there are some cases where shooters should be kept out of people's hands at younger ages, but it shouldn't be as widely administered as you pointed out. As far as it doing something to people's heads, that can happen at any age, it depends on the person....I

CS= Counter Strike....it's a game I actually hate but my best friend ( she is 19 ) plays it all the time....

[QUOTE]Starting from the begining I will point out everything i didn't understand, if someone helps me understand it I would appreciate it.
[/QUOTE]

I can try to explain some of it. I typically don't hear much of it on the MMOs I play...

[QUOTE]pwn= pawn? as in own?[/QUOTE]
Yes, pwn = own.

[QUOTE]shiz, bai foos" =??????? is this supposed to be sh*t, bye fools?[/QUOTE]
Correct, this translates into sh*t, bye fools.

[QUOTE]g4nd4lf da gr3y= after spelling the name right earlier why is it with numbers now? [/QUOTE]
Sometimes it happens, varying from player to player.

[QUOTE]joo= jew? who? I don't get it.... [/QUOTE]
joo = you.

[QUOTE]"Ph34r!" = what is this?[/QUOTE]
I havn't seen this one before but I think it means "fear"

[QUOTE]Ph34r haxorz = O dpn't know either of these words[/QUOTE]
I think this one is "fear hackers"

[QUOTE]!11" = one/eleven what?[/QUOTE]
This is supposed to be "!!!" but when players type in a hurry sometimes they take pressure off of the shift key and end up with "1's"

[QUOTE]TK= totally kill?[/QUOTE]
TK= Team Kill (killing someone on your own team)

[QUOTE]gg = ....not really.... they didn't beat it and it didn't kill them....[/QUOTE]
You don't have to win to have played a good game.

[QUOTE]ork: "AIMBOT!" = I don't get it....
ork: "turn it off!" [/QUOTE]
Don't know... but I interpreted it as an external program that aims for you.

[QUOTE]Punkbuster= what is a punkbuster?
non-pb servers = non-public broadcast servers?[/QUOTE]
Punkbuster is a program that supposedly prevents cheating. "non-pb" servers are servers that do not have this program.

Hope this helps. I personally thought it was funny, and I'm sure it wasn't Telendil's intention for this to become a debate about ages and generalization...

Edit* is it just me? Or is the QUOTE feature not working?

ah, I just heard of that from my cousin who got it about three weeks ago, he likes it, but I haven't seen it yet. I still don't understand the rest of it of course/though/still/yet

Strangely, I am very acustomed to leet speak. It was quite easy for me to find that text funny. As Telendil, I actually hate the thing and consider it immature but I play it at my cousin's house just to prevent total boredom. The text also shows some CS language. As Kell pointed out, Aimbot is an external program that helps you cheat in CS. It makes you aim for the head permanently.
A/S/L means Age/Sex/Location. It's ussualy used on internet chat programs when you're talking with someone you don't know.
Wallhaxx or wall hacking is another cheat program that helps you shoot people through walls in CS.

And btw, if you still don't get it, CS means Counter-Strike. It's a FPS game that some immature kids like.

I found that funny. Good job on that, Tellie.


Here's a translator for you old folks. And the wikipedia article has some translations on it, too.


Talking about me behind my back? Now I'm all offended and stuff. Won't disagree, though. Not good enough at self analysis to make a reasonable argument. Besides, if I just assume that you're right, then it could be worse... (I could be trying to "find myself" through leetspeak...or by running away from home and hitchhiking on trains...nevermind, wrong decade)

heh, that was great. DO THE RETURN OF THE KING!

(am just about to start reading your TT version. should be good )

I read the TT version. OMG WTF LOL 1337z0rz! 1337 hax!

Posts merged, try to avoid double posting in the future please ~ Wolfie