Hi All,

I have noticed a few really good bumper stickers on cars lately that made me laugh a bit.... Thought I would post them for you and see if anyone else has noticed any great ones lately.

1) If at first you don't succeed, read the instructions.

2) What if the Hokey Pokey REALLY is what it is ALL about?

This one was written i tiny letters:

"If you can read this you parked too close"

This was on the back of a gasoline truck my bus was behind during a fieldtrip to Gettysburg last Thursday.

"Honk if you want me to stop in your face"

I found it funny since it was on a gasoline truck... (hint: boom)

I have a bumper sticker on my car that says "My Karma ran over your Dogma"

I brake for scholars, priests, and no apparent reason

I break for........................OH compassion NO BRAKES

There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.

IF THIS STICKER IS GETTING SMALLER, THE LIGHT IS PROBABLY GREEN

(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.

186,000 Miles/Second: It’s Not Just A Good Idea, It’s The Law!

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools

Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Despite The Cost Of Living, Have You Noticed How It Remains So Popular?

Diplomacy Is Saying “Nice Doggy” Until You Find A Rock

Don't f*** with my head and I won't think with my thermos!

Dyslexics of the world, untie!

Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion

F U Cn Rd Ths U Cnt Spl Wrth A Dm!

Follow your dreams, except the one where you’re at school in your underwear.

Give Me Ambiguity Or Give Me Something Else

Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.

God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"

Guns don't kill people. Postal workers do.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service -- Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

Have you ever had deja vu? Have you ever had deja vu??

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.

House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I gave up drugs, sex and booze...it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!.

I miss my wife, but my aim is getting better.

I Need Someone Really Bad. Are You Really Bad?

I wish I could kill the sexiest person alive but suicide is a crime!

I’m insured by the mafia, you hit me and we'll hit you.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

If At First You Don't Succeed ... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving ain't for you.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

If you write "WASH ME" on my truck, I'll carve "RECESSITATE ME" on your chest!!!

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that far up my boat.

IRS: We’ve Got What It Takes To Take What You’ve Got.

Jesus loves you, but everyone else still thinks you're an boat hole.

Kids in the backseat cause accidents.... accidents in the backseat cause kids.

My child beat up your honor student!

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-umbrella seller.

My other car sticker is funny.

No Sense Being Pessimistic. It Wouldn’t Work Anyway

Only in America can a Vietnam Vet live in a cardboard box on the street and a draft dodger live in the White House.

Pol-I-Tics poli meaning many, ticks meaning small blood sucking parasites.

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

Rap Is To Music What Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Smile and the world smiles with you, Fart and you stand alone.

SNIPER BAR & GRILL: All you need is one shot!

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

Suburbia: Where they cut down all the trees and then name streets after them.

Suicide is away of telling God, You can't fire me I quit!!!!!

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.

They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a truck hit mine.

They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.

This vehicle insured by Smith and Wesson.

Those Who Live By The Sword Get Shot By Those Who Don’t

To err is human; to forgive is not Company Policy.

WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.

When i want your opinion i'll beat it out of you.

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it!

Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a umbrella seller in the valley.

Yesterday I knew nothing today I know that.

You have to be really secure to be seen in this car.

You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Only Speak To Me

Your Child May Be An Honor Student, But You’re Still An boatmaster

Your honor student deals the best drugs.

Your lucky color has faded.

Not really funny just strange....
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS"
-not during chrismas season

does anyone know any more about the combat system in OBLIVION, because i need to know~~

peace out

If the World didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Kindred, don't tell me you came up with all those from your head. And even put them in alphabetical order! Funny list nontheless.

DoomedOne, so true

No, I have a site full of funny quotes in my favorites. I copy pasted the ones I liked most. I'm sorry, I kind of cheated. *maniacal laugh*GoodQuotes Bumper Stickers Sorry to disappoint.

"Flush twice....Virginia Beach needs the water."

I thought that was the greatest.

I [heart] manatees
With mashed potatoes and gravy

ROFL

Kindreds was awesome, even if he cheated! My favorite was Athiesm is a non-profit organization and the Don't Try Pessimistism : It Doesn't Work one.

Well, I could have gone with one of the ones I've seen near my home, but there aren't any funny ones. I mean, which would you prefer, me not cheating and giving you one or two funny ones, or me cheating and giving you ten minutes of roll-on-floor, hysterical, crap-in-pants moments one after another? And those were two of the ones I like most, too.

Here is a funny one I saw today:

If There Was No God, There Would Be No Aetheists.

That one is true no matter whether you are an Aetheist or a Catholic/Christian. (and possibly for other religions as well, I'm not sure) If nobody believed in God, there wouldn't be a special word for people who don't believe in god, now would there?

Yet aetheism is still based on a system of belief.

Well, look at the word atheism

Just means someone doesn't belive in religion, or is against religion. Just like agnosticism, which is based in contrast to the Gnostics, a people who were thought to be more theistically wise than any others. Agnosticism basically means that you don't know about God. Technically then, everyone is an agnostic as well. No one really knows about God. The bible is nothing more than some peoples' interpretations of God and God's law.

Oh yeah, and also I like the Bumper sticker that say "Who would Jesus Bomb?"

Huh? Oh, I think I know what you mean.
Polytheism=Belief in many gods (more than one, anyways)
Monotheism=Belief in one god
Aetheism=Belief in no gods

Some religions are aetheistic, depending on how you look at them. Wiccan can be considered any of those types of religions:
Polytheistic- Some Wiccans believe in two gods, a mother goddess and father god.
Monotheistic- Some Wiccans believe one god, the father god, and the other one was mortal.
Aetheistic- Some Wiccans believe that the gods are only symbols of natural forces, and aren't divine beings, or beings at all, merely a face put to a natural force.

So, aetheism can be based on a system of beliefs. However, other aetheists are the ones who simply believe that there is no god, everything can be explained, and when you die, you rot in the ground. There is no such thing as a soul, the scientific method reigns supreme, creationism is a lie, ect... I think you get the picture. Actually, the way I just described it, aetheism is a form of belief, just like you said. Belief in science.

Agnosticism, on the other hand, is believing in God, but not in religion, or in organized religion at any rate.

I myself fall somewhere in between all of these. I reserve judgement for when I know the truth. I will not believe untill I see proof, or at least powerful supporting evidence, but I will not deny that something may be true, just because of the lack of evidence. Untill something is proved impossible, I will keep my mind open. But currently, my beliefs are somewhat more towards science than religion.

Hmm... Another funny bumber sticker-

My other car's a Ferrari.

Suicide is our way of telling life, "You can't fire me, I quit!"

I didn't write atheism in bold for you to continue to mispell it. Anyway, you're whole argument isn't really philosophical as much as one about the English language. You're giving these words definitions they don't have.

A- Anti or none

Theism- God, religion, etcetera

Atheism: No god

Gnosticism: All knowing

Agnosticism: Not knowing

Basically, no without god there would be no atheists, but that's only because if there was no belief in God, there would be no such thing as a theist, and therefore no word to counter the word theist.

And for the topic: I also like the bumper sticker: "Keep Tahoe Local" and I want one because I live in Marin County and all the rich brats here go down to Tahoe to there million dollar cabins and pretend they're one with nature and compassion meanwhile the locals like me (my sister says I betrayed them when I moved) get to watch them roll around Tahoe in their big SUVs with bumper stickers that say, "Keep Tahoe Blue." Geez they piss me off.

That's why it was funny.

And I'm sorry for my misspellings and factual errors, that was how it was explained to me, and my misspellings are just a stupid mistake.

Bumper Stickers:

Ignorance can be cured, stupidity is forever.

I have the body of a god. Buddha.

Caution: I drive like you do.

The biggest vehicle has the right of way.

omg rofl I did not see that one! or did I realize that boat was a censor..

"This is yes, study that."


To say at the least that one drove me crazy.

Yeah, the autocensor makes it a little less funny, a little more nonsensical, but if you know what it means, it's still hilarious. And so true, sometimes.


Is there some deep meaning to that? It's driving me crazy trying to figure it out. There are several possibilities that I've thought of, but none of them make enough sense.

I have a T-shirt with a guy jamming his head up his own boatmaster and it says, "Don't bother me, I'm watching Fox News"

Haha, that's the point. Anyone who I have shown it to that is a deep thinker tries to anylize it and becomes confused. That's what we get for being so anylitical. It doesn't always work that way but it is good for a try.

Two bumper stickers for this to make sense.

In Portland, OR the "Tri-Met" (public trans co., runs the bus lines, light rail) busses have stickers on their bumpers: "Because of me there are 249 fewer cars on the road."

The other day I saw a car with the bumper sticker "Because of my car and 248 others, there's one less stinky bus on the road"

Oregon has a very great public transportation system! I wish I still lived there

Not a bumper sticker, but still great. A shirt i saw somewhere (i think it was one of those pictures that makes the roudns on the net via emails) that says on the back "If you can read this, then the b**** fell off!"
I believe it's a biker shirt or something

Yeah, I've seen bikers wearing it. Hilarious.

Here are some t-shirts I've seen as well.

If you agreed with me, we'd both be wrong.

By reading this, you have given me brief control of your mind.

Normal people scare me.

What did I say that sounded like "Tell me about your day?"

antoher t-shirt, one for overweight people, saying "I beat Anorexia!"
hehe

I like wearing t-shirts with double meanings, not necessary offensive messages but ones that can be interpteted that way.

I have:

Colorado: Go Climb a Rock

and a Picture of a guy fishing in this beautiful scenery with the message, "Get Lost"

I'll be nicer when you're smarter.

Dyslexics of the world, untie!

I see dumb people... (edited version of Sixth Sense quote)

Kindred, I swore last time I heard someone say "I see dumb people" I would eat them, and you had to top it off by explaining where it came from.

Just... beware... all I'm going to say.

Anyone mentioned the t-shirt that says, "Bomb squad: If you see me running, catch up"

Did.... you just threaten... to eat me?

Nope, reread what you wrote. Last time somebody said that you threatened to eat them, and I just one-upped them. So what, are you going to nuke me or something?


I think someone might have, but it's funny enough to mention twice.

I would describe my plans but unfortunately it would get me promptly removed from this forum.

I like the Scientology t-shirt that says, "Can this t-shirt save you 400,000 dollars? (See: www.xenu.net)"

*reads mind* You, sir, are a cruel and evil human being.

Hmm... There are a lot of funny bumber stickers an t-shirts I've seen.

(Front Bumper Sticker)
If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.

(T-shirt)
I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

(T-shirt)
I'm not a vegetarian because I like animals. I'm a vegitarian because I hate vegetables.

(T-shirt)
Please excuse me if I turn around and walk away.

If you can see this I've lost my caravan

ideas 4 T-shirts

there are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't

if i can sit on the floor without any help, it means i'm not drunk

there's more philosophy in an empty bottle of wine than there is in all the books

every time you spam god killes a kitten

look at the patterns on this t-shirt for too long and you'll see me rounder

I have the body of a god. Buddha.

Procrastinators unite tomorrow!

I am no longer a danger to society. (picture of a smileyface with his head cracked open)

Sexual Hassassment Policy (Female t-shirt, small text underneath. Can't tell you what it says, I didn't read it because I don't like gettins slapped)