The further misfortunes of Hra- krak the Orc pirate…..

A final meeting between Helseth and Hra-krak....

Hra krak enters the court of Helseth, covered in bruises,scratches and blood, out of breath and slightly annoyed…..

Helseth – “ Ah, Hra krak, so good to see you again, have you any news from the temple?”

Hra-krak – “ All ded”

Helseth – “ Cough!- WHAT!! You don’t mean to say you killed them all ??!!”

Hra-krak –“ Nah, not all, some killed themselves after wot I told em…”

Helseth – “ What on earth did you say-“

Hra-krak – “ Not much, jus dat their Almi is ded”

Helseth – “ You mean to tell me the Temple is no more? That I stand in power uncontested…..well this is good news, Hra-krak…. Good news indeed….”

Hra- krak – “ Yeah, Almalexia is ded too, an that Sotha bloke was hangin up inna room wot nearly kill me to find, I not happy …. I hurt all over wot not like before….You got my gold?”

Helseth- “ Almalexia, Sotha, the preists…..my word you’ve been busy…..erm, yes Hra, do sit down, you must be exhausted, Bring Hra his reward !”

A servant brings out an open chest with what appears to be armour inside and places it in front of Hra-krak….

Helseth – “ I present to you, mighty warrior, the armour of my royal guard, an honour bestowed upon only those that have shown there devout obedience to me-“

Hra-krak – “ S-pink”

Helseth “ Err, sorry?”

Hra-krak – “ Don’t wannit, its pink, look stupid in pink armour, people laugh at me when Im in dat, an wheres my septims? I want my money, wheres my gold?”

Helseth – “Im bestowing upon you the greatest reward I could offer you, and you refuse it because ITS PINK!!??”

Hra-krak- “ Yeah, an wheres my soddin gold? You better ave my gold cause I had one bad day,an dat day was today, and I want my gold, an I want buy ship, an rob your boats, cause I don’t fink I like you anymore, you tell me to “get to know Almalexia better”, an look wot happen, YOU tell me you make it worth my wile, an you try give me pink armour wot worth nothink, now me get really mad, wot you not know how…..”

Helseth – “ You, you threaten ME!!- you insult my guards, kill our gods, destroy a thousand year old religion, cause chaos all over my city, and then demand PAYMENT!!??”

Hra-krak – “ Yep, dat is wot you tell me to do an I still don’t like your pansy-armour an I WANT MY GOLD !! err, dat a nice ring you got , maybe you give Hra dat ring, an we forget the pink armour, dat really nice ring, I fink I have that….”

Helseth – “ GUARDS! GUARDS!! NO! Get off me you disgusting orc! aaAARRGGHH!!-“

…and so ends the reign of Helseth and the Temple, and the beginning of the Hra-krak Pirate-Empire……


Let me know, as usual, how bad my humour is, or if you have suggestions for further stories, and thanks for reading......

Hehe, that was pretty good.. I can see it like a movie in my head

I also like the format, thats prob the best way to do it.

I liked it, very funny. I like how he refuses to take the armor from the king because it's pink.

Very original. Liked it very much.

Thank you peeps, Ill keep em coming probably once a week, until I run out of ideas that is!