Southern Star Signs

Regular horoscopes don’t really apply to us folks from “down here,” so we had to come up with our own signs and their meanings. If you Europeans can tear yourselves away from the “futbol,” here is some REAL entertainment! (Note that most of these things are food items- even the ones no one else would ever think of eating.)

OKRA (Dec. 22- Jan. 20)- Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back upon his life and see seeds of influence everywhere. Should stay away from Moon Pies.

CHITLIN (Jan. 21- Feb. 19)- Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make something of herself if she’s motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins go best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb. 20- March 20)- You have an overwhelming curiosity. You’re never satisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if by some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don’t worry about it.

Will post more of these later.

That's priceless.

I love Okra by the way. Especially fried.

Hahahaha!

I live in southern United States, too, so I find this especially funny.

I like okra too. Pickled okra is pretty good.

O.K.- here are the next three:

MOON PIE (March 21- April 20)- You’re the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch, It’s easy to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies- big and round are the key words here. Because of their many layers, it can be difficult for outsiders to understand Moon Pies. Those who take the time to get to know them- love them. Still, if you are a Moon Pie, this might be the year to start thinking about aerobics- or maybe not.

POSSUM (April 21- May 21)- When confronted with life’s difficulties, Possums have a tendency to withdraw and develop a “don’t-bother-me” attitude. Sometimes they become so withdrawn, people actually think they are dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but it seems to work for the Possum. Sometimes, however, it doesn’t work, and their problems actually run them over.

CRAWFISH (May 22 – June 21)- Crawfish is a water sign. Crawfish who work in offices can generally be found hanging around the water cooler. Similar to Possums, they prefer to avoid confrontation, but use a different strategy. When trouble appears, a Crawfish will scuttle back out of the way until the coast is clear. Still, they have very good heads.

Man this is genuise... who in the hell created them?... man I cant wait until you get to December 3... just wondering what I am...

Hehe, quite funny Treydog

Can't wait til' you get to September so I can find out what delicious souther food I am. C'mon Alligator!

Haha, the Possum cracked me up. *was born April 23rd*

Whoever did those should be given a glomp.

COLLARDS (June 22 – July 23)- Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the “melting pot” of life and share their essence with the essences of all those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as romance, Collards should stay away from Moon Pies. It just won’t work.

CATFISH (July 24 – Aug. 23)- Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although their whiskers can be a problem for loved ones. Catfish are not easy to understand; they prefer to lurk on the muddy bottom rather than floating near the clear surface of life. The main thing for Catfish to remember is to stay away from Moon Pies. Okra, Collards, and even Crawfish can make good matches for Catfish.

GRITS (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23) The highest aim of Grits is to stick around with others like themselves. They prefer to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. However, they also enjoy traveling, so it can be worthwhile for Grits to join a travel club. Grits like to go anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or eggs or butter. If Grits can find somewhere that has all of those things, they are well served.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23)- Boiled Peanuts have a passionate desire to help their fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know them best- friends and family- often find Boiled Peanuts much too salty. That criticism tends to affect Boiled Peanuts deeply, as they are really much softer than they appear. Boiled Peanuts can take risks in romance, because they really lead a charmed existence. On the road of life, Boiled Peanuts can always be sure that someone will pull over and stop for them.

BUTTER BEAN- (Oct. 24- Nov. 23)- If you are having a get-together, it is always a good idea to invite Butter Beans. Butter Beans get along well with everybody. Butter Beans have a right to be proud of themselves- they have grown on the vine of life and feel at home no matter what the setting. A Butter Bean can sit next to almost anybody…except perhaps a Moon Pie.

ARMADILLO (Nov. 24- Dec. 21)- Armadillos have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but they are actually quite gentle. A good evening for an Armadillo consists of old friends; a warm fire; and some roots, nuts, fruit, and insects. The Armadillo is a throwback, not concerned with the latest trends or fashions. In fact, Armadillos can be almost prehistoric in their interests and behavior patterns. As far as romance, they generally prefer other Armadillos, although a Possum is another, albeit kinky, possibility.

I'm a catfish!

Oh my, this is so wrong. I am a Butter Bean but I am almost the opposite of what they say. I always end up with these things. Guess I'm special or something. Nah, just lucky.

I dont know about you guys but armadillo fits me fine...

Im boiled peanuts...o.o; Oct 2nd being my birthday.

since i have thge same b-day as you dantrag (aug.2) i aswell am a catfish........ pleasant

"edit" did the smiley thing wrong

Trying to steal my birthday, huh? We'll just see about that.

Hehe, good thing I'm not from South. But of all those signs, BOLL WEEVIL fits best with my personality :P

I'm a Butter Bean!!! Since I'm from the south, I find this hilarious.

The general thing I got from this is keep away from fat chicks.

Hmm, I love grits, but I don't fit the description at all. Also, I'm confused as to why I like grits.

I'm collard, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

I think I'm more of a catfish.

COLLARDS for me... I'm going to be a baseball manager!

Well, besides that it was rather accurate... I guess I'll have to stay away from Moon Pies then... Poor Moon Pies, seems that several signs should stay away from them...

I´m not sure I like being a Moon Pie! It sorta doesn´t really fit with me.... Nope....there must be a catch somewhere.....

Remember the key phrase- "those who know you- love you." Actually, I have a feeling you are more of a Butter Bean.

Yeah! See! Nobody want´s to be near a poor Moonie! (poor me)

Mmmmm fits my personality faaaar better!

Well, I'm supposed to stay away from moon pies, but we can make an exception for minque.

Yayy......someone won´t avoid me! Niiiiice!

Anyway those signs are hilarious! Maybe even funnier fot those who actually live in those areas!

Definately funny for us Southerners.

I really want a Moon Pie now. Banana flavor.

I'll, uh, give that some consideration.

So it really exist a pie called that? What´s the "Moon"-thingy then? I mean why call it Moon-pie?

Oh, yes indeed. Made right here in my native Tennessee. For the story of the name see here.

Trey "I'll have an RC with that" dog

Mmmmmm..... Maybe it's a Moon"Sugar" Pie or Moon"Shine" Pie.

Whatever the case Mique, I'll never stay away from you. promis
And you seem more of a Sugar pie in anycase.

For me Armadillo suitse me just fine, a warm log fire, some old friends and a kinky possum.

sounds good to me.


EDIT:


Oh! Din't see that there!

Butter Bean for me. And it says I can sit next to anyone except a Moon Pie.

So that means if you sat me and Minque together at a party ... apparently we would create quite a ruckus.

Hmmm ... yeh, I could see it. We'd probably have everyone laffing like crazy!

Moon Pie!

Holy muffin! Ahhh I´m not surprised,....it´s so funny, where else do you find a thing like that? Graham cookies with marshmallows and chocolate...then add some banana-flavor to it! Gosh....I´ll have to try it when I go to US this autumn! Must be very....nourishing..

Anyway..thanks for nice and amusing comments.....

Moon Pies are very fattening. I used to eat them in Texas. Got too much of a taste for them at one point and I did gain some weight. I had to stop eating them.

(Now we'll expect Pisces to show up commenting on this, I suppose )

Pices? MMMMMMMM

Maybe he is stearing clear of you after you threatend to skin him and wear him as armor,
caught him and caged him under your bed,
fatend him up and oferd him as a nack to Hypno,
got hunted by farmer Brown and
Oh ya, olmost got thrown out of a hotel window.

But then again he may have more fishy guts that I give him credit for.

You never know.

( that hotel story is gona haunt you isn't it? )

Aahahahaha!!!! LordDoomsDay always makes me laugh with his commentary posts .... !!!

Yess, well - you have summed it up rather well. Maybe I have been a bit hard on the pooor litttle fish.

"Come here little fishey fishey .... the big Ibis bird won't hurt you ... " (holding skillet and cooking oil behind back. tee hee)

LOL!

Anyway, im butter bean (whatever that is...). Too bad for the description, I like the Minque moon pies

Looks like the little fish has already been made into a burger Ibis... no need to fry him more, just dig in!

I never realised I had bird legs...

Do you know when fish die they release their poisonious urine into their blood stream, unfortunately not enough to kill you but we do our best, at least we make you eat our piss. I however have "evolved" past this and swallow a cyinide pill before I die to ensure I kill you.

I'm not gonna be the one to eat you.... Ibis will so I dont have to worry about it

I am simply an armor buff - no more .... *sniff* I smell what I hunt before I eat it.

I think I will leave Pisces for the alligators. lol

Hey you made me laugh there! That´s good because today I have a blazing headache......and a good laugh make me feel much better!

I was born on April 16 and I'm NOT FAT!!!

I'm tall and skiny

Aaaalrighty then fellow Moon Pie! then we´re two!

That makes three of us...I'm born on April 15th, and I'm not fat...as a matter of fact, I have had bulimia before, so I should pårobably get some more weight on me.

Ohhh no...poor Tellie.....but have you got over it completely by now?

Yes...I have, I realised I had a problem, and asked my bf to help me, naturally he tried to help me, but he also contacted someone who could really help....so I am finished with that now...probably one of the sweetest things he have done towards me

But now, four years later, I am still 177cm, and weighs only 51kilos....that is too little, I guess, so thats why I'm training, to get more muscles, and more weight

well your new harley davidson should help in the training field and put some more muscles on you!

haha..yeah most likely....and I must say, that is one lovely bike to drive :lickinglips:.

Me taking martial arts, also quite help, and I eat healthy, so it should all turn out fine

Wow, never knew you had Bulimia . poor ol' Telie. Glad to hear you'll turn out fine. Some cakes to put some weight on you But dont eat too much, muscles better than fat