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TheBrume
The topic description was supposed to say: But you don't find out he becomes a knight until about a quarter of the way through.
And I was most disappointed to discover these forums do not cater to my favorite font. sad.gif tongue.gif Plantagenet Cherokee

Well, I've decided to try my hand at fan fiction. I shall start my fan fiction career (the size of which will depend entirely on your first impressions of my first chapter) with a story which I've been playing around with in my head a while now.

'A Knight Without Fear or Blame' is the title. I think it was Khalid ibn al-Walid first said that or maybe it was Saladin. It was one of them, but I'm rambling now.
Anyway, this story will be about an Imperial from a certain village and he… well, I don't want to spoil the story for you. I plan on stretching it out for as long as possible without killing any entertainment value it has (I'll let you decide if it has any or not) across multiple paragraphs, chapters and acts (though I think 'act' is more of a term used in drama, rather than stories but I digress).
Also, the main character 'Lucius Andronicu' (kudos if you get the referance) originally started out as 'Titus Saepio.'

Oh, and I pride myself on my grammar, spelling. But, my keyboard seems to live in order to spite me so please point out any typos.

P.S Please bear in mind I am a complete amateur at writing anything creative, poetry, prose or whatever. So be kind. But not too kind. Just don't be merciless. smile.gif


At that, let's get this show on the road.
I present to you, a poor excuse of a prologue and a better (I hope) excuse for a first chapter.



A Knight Without Fear Or Blame

Prologue:

It was a clear and cold evening. The last of the suns rays had long since disappeared in the west and the people of Grimdale Moor slept soundly in their beds, blissfully unaware of the approaching threat. From the west, an Orcish war band approached, their war chief was hungry for blood and loot. To a larger, better defended town, such a band would pose no threat whatsoever. But although Grimdale Moor was town of reasonable size, the local Knights of the Hour had left their chapterhouse and gone to fight in the King's Army, leaving only a small band of the weak, incompetent or those disliked by the chapter master behind to defend the town. Grimdale Moor was an easy target to any marauding warband.


Chapter One: A Night of Grief

Lucius Andronicus awoke with a start to the sound of steel clanging on steel, wood splintering, horses whinnying, fire roaring and people screaming. Orange flames illuminated his bedroom and smoke from his neighbours burning house seeped in through the window. He quickly rose from his bed and got himself dressed, fear overtook his nine year old mind, as he did so he could hear the clash of steel grow louder, accompanied by savage cries.
As the boy pulled on his dark green cloak, the noise stopped and a broad shouldered figure burst into his room, wielding a sword. Fear quickly overtook the boy, only for that fear to be washed away as orange flames illuminated his father's face. Lucius recognised the sword, it was a long, hand and a half sword. Steel, made from Wrothgarian iron, the best in Tamriel Father had always said. He had been mending the hilt for some Knight from Wayrest who didn't trust the smiths of that city. The pommel was the head of a bear, the seal of the untrusting knight's family.

"Lucius." He said simply, a look of relief on his face, the body of a great big green Orc lay behind him, it's face covered by Father's cloak. Lucius had seen dead bodies before, despite his young age of nine. Orcs often raided the village, but never in such great numbers, and there had always been soldiers of Wayrest garrisoning the village. But now the soldiers were no more, the King had drawn them away to fight some war with Daggerfall over some distant island. But boys of nine did not concern themselves with such things, boys of nine busied themselves with climbing trees, fishing, playing tricks on the local mages and playing games with other boys of nine.
"Come, we have to leave." He said, suddenly growing more anxious as more vicious war cries were heard.
"But where?" Lucius asked as he grabbed his sling and a small bag of smooth pebbles he had collected from the nearby stream.
"Chorrol." Father said sharply as he grabbed Titus' arm and dragged him from his room. "My brother stays there, he will take us in and I'm sure they have need of blacksmiths there." The house was a blur to Lucius as he was pulled through it. It was all he could do to keep his short legs moving at a pace that would not have him dragged along the hard wooden floors. From what he did see however, Father had killed at least two other Orcs judging from the large green hunks of flesh found by the door of the kitchen.

Upon reaching the small, two storied house's door, Father set Lucius down and drew his knightly honoured user sword again. "Stay close to me Titus. Don't run off and stay away from the flames, we make for the stables." The village had a stables on it's outskirts. Or rather, the Knight of the Hour chapterhouse had a stables and their Altmeri commander was good enough to allow the people of the village to stable their horses. For a small fee. So kind-hearted of him, particularly after the village's own stables had burned down in a suspicious fire and the stable hand had been murdered. Lucius had often heard such talk as the village women washed their clothing and linens at the lake while he and his friends played Kick the Mudcrab.

Father cautiously pulled the heavy Wrothgarian Pine door open and peered outside, Lucius caught a glimpse of a Legion Destrier, a man in bronze coloured Armour mounted atop it, slashing his sword at the Orcs who surrounded him and his steed, armed with swords, one or two with spears. They were kept at bay by the horseman's sword and the horse's hooves, it looked like more than one Orc had been foolish enough to move to the rear of the animal. The man was Samuel deBrume, the second in command of the Legion garrison at Oxvale Borough, to the south west. A kind man who was visiting the town for unknown reasons. He had often saved the villagers from extortion by the corrupt Order of the Hour, much to the chagrin of that order.

"Stay here, Lucius." His Father rushed to help the man, he slashed his sword across the back of the nearest Orc, attracting the attention of two others.
Lucius placed a smooth white stone in his sling and swung it around his head for a few moments before releasing it and sending the projectile hurtling towards a bulky Orc armed with a long halberd. The stone struck the Orc in the side of the head and sent the beast down to the ground, dead. An excellent shot.
Father said nothing about not using my sling.
He had never killed an Orc, though it didn't feel any different to killing a rabbit or that hawk.
All animals are the same anyway I suppose.

By the time Lucius had downed another two Orcs, the small skirmish was over and a total of twelve bodies lay at the feet of the warhorse. Thankfully, neither Titus' father nor Samuel deBrume was one of them.
"You have my thanks, Caius," Lucius had rarely heard his father called by his first name. Most called him 'Andronicus' or 'blacksmith'. Even Mother had called him 'darling' rather than Caius, "You should leave this village," the soldier looked to Lucius and smiled, though it was difficult to see in the dim light. "I shall escort you to the-" he was interrupted by war cries sounding the approach of yet more Orcs. "Go Caius, take your son, I shall deal with these beasts." At that, he was off, charging his bay Destrier into the green mass. Father wasted no time in heeding the man's words.
"Come Lucius!" He called, Lucius ran after him. Not even looking to see if the Legionary was still alive.

"You did well, son." He puffed as they approached the gates of the corral. The stable itself was burning and the horses were frightened by the flames, several had jumped over the fence and fled into the distance. Lysa, Father's white mare was still there however, being saddled by another villager.
"Hey! Stop! That's my horse," Father drew his sword and entered the pen.
"Try and stop me fool. I was here first." He in turn picked an axe from the ground and moved towards Father, crossing the corral and passing near the stable itself, there was a tremendous crash and part of the stable building came down on top of the man and those horses who were still stood too close. Lysa, thankfully was not one of them.
Wordlessly, Father mounted the horse and pulled Lucius up to sit in front of him. They galloped off on the road leading south-west. The flames of their former home illuminating their path.

Lucius said nothing, sobbing silently for all he had lost. He even thought he heard his father crying on a few occasions. But that was impossible, Father never cried, not when he hit his hand with a hammer while repairing the Chapel roof, not when he cut himself while working. Never.
But they had nothing. No clothes, no home, no food. Nothing but the shirts on their back, Lucius' sling, Father's sword and their horse. They would never reach Chorrol with what they had with them. They had to go to Wayrest

*******

Addendum (well, I think this is what an addendum is anyway): The story starts in the year 412 of the third era, late Sun's Dusk (November). There will be a date in every update from chapter eight onwards.
King Coin
Ok I’m going to point out some things that bothered me.

… hand and a half sword, sometimes called a honoured user sword.
Looks like you got tripped up by the forum’s censors.

I’m no author, but you seem to include details that are not relevant to what is happening. In the middle of a scene of action, such details pull the reader (me) out of the story.

Some other details that bothered me were during the fight with Legion Destrier against more Orcs.
Spears would be used to kill the horse and swarm the downed solder, not jab him directly on his heavy plate armor. Halberds would be used to pull someone off of the horse.

Also during the fight, the nine year old somebody killed an orc (or multiple orcs) with a sling shot? I am not buying it. EDIT: Sorry, that's much more harsh than I intended. It just isn't very believable.

I am not sure what the 9 year old’s name is either. I think it is Lucius, but this sentence:
Thankfully, neither Titus' father nor Samuel deBrume was one of them.
refers to him as Titus, which I believe is the father’s name.

Next when the stables collapse, how is it that it kills the man stealing the horse without killing the horse as well? Why were either one of them so close to a building burning so badly that it collapses?
----------------------------------

I’m not trying to be vicious, just pointing out some areas that bothered me. I think you have a start of an interesting story. Keep practicing and posting! smile.gif

Thomas Kaira
Welcome to the Arena!

Well, that's certainly the start of something. A poor little nine-year-old witnessing Orsimer bands ravage his home? Yikes! blink.gif

By the names of towns you mentioned, you gave several subtle hints that we are in High Rock. I've never seen a fiction take place in the home of the Bretons before. Part of me actually wants to stay there! laugh.gif
But this is your tale, so it is your decision to go wherever you want to go. A journey to Chorrol sounds neat! I look forward to reading more about it!

Lucius had often heard such talk as the village women washed their clothing and linens at the lake while he and his friends played Kick the Mudcrab.

Naughty! nono.gif

A few pointers:

King Coin has already noted the forum auto-censor has issues with the father's blade. Not your fault, though. smile.gif

Father said sharply as he grabbed Titus' arm and dragged him from his room.

"Stay close to me Titus. Don't run off and stay away from the flames, we make for the stables."


These passages, along with several others, reference someone named Titus, who we've never been introduced to. I got very confused reading through the battle because I got hung up on the names and couldn't figure out who was talking to whom. Perhaps Titus was Lucius's name before you decided to change it? That's what I concluded, at least.

Lucius prided himself on his accuracy with his sling, his skill far surpassed all the other boys, even those older than him. He could hit any doe from over eighty paces and he could put through the windows of the local Mage's Guild even in the dark. He had once downed a hawk as it soared above the village.

This is a classic example of "show, don't tell." Don't tell us about Lucius's skill through reminiscent soliloquy, show us by having him do something skillful! wink.gif

Although, really, I have to agree with KC here. Killing a full-grown Orsimer berserking through town with a single tiny river pebble does sound kinda far-fetched. These guys are known to take arrows through their spleens and keep fighting regardless. And despite all his practice, I really do doubt that someone who is only nine years old would have enough strength to crack an orc skull.

But keep on posting! Your skill will refine itself as you work and evolve the story. And we are always here to help and give pointers. smile.gif
Acadian
Welcome to our world of fanfic!

This is off to a wonderful start. Plenty of action and characterization of the boy and his father. Enough detail to impart a sense of realism to both the situation and their lives.

I too, suspect ‘Titus’ may be left over from previous edits?

I think you have your paragraphs broken down well, but not all your spaces between them made it in when you posted. For example, it looks like the forum jammed your first four paragraphs all together. A good edit in the preview mode on the forum (or even a PM to yourself) can help with formatting things such as paragraph spaces and help you deal with those honored users that can sometimes slip in there too. smile.gif
Grits
Welcome, Brume! I’m so glad you’re sharing your story here, even in not your favorite font. tongue.gif

I was drawn in right away when Lucius woke up in the middle of the attack. Recognizing that the sword-wielding man bursting into his room was his father was a breathless moment. You did a great job putting us right in Lucius’ terrified, nine-year old mind. I like your description of the sword, but I didn’t realize until the end of Lucius’ thoughts that he was thinking about it because it wasn’t his father’s sword. Is that right?

"You have my thanks, Titus," Lucius had rarely heard his father called by his first name. Most called him 'Andronicus' or 'blacksmith'. Even Mother had called him 'darling' rather than Caius,
I had some Titus/Caius confusion here. I know how easy it is for this to happen when I’m writing – I always read the words that my brain knows should be there, no matter what my eyes see.

I had the sense that Caius would have killed the man who was stealing his horse, even though he was a fellow villager. It was a desperate flight from the burning village, and he had to protect his son.

I thought the last two paragraphs were perfect. I look forward to the Andronicus men’s journey to Wayrest. It seems that Lucius is going to have to grow up fast. You’ve made a great start, I encourage you to continue your story! smile.gif



ETA: Kick the Mudcrab! biggrin.gif
TheBrume
King Coin
Thanks for pointing those out. Some forums don't censor that word, some do.

I probably should hae said swords and axes instead of spears.
As for the sling, well it's not a sling shot. It's a shepard's sling. Much more powerful. A stone from one of those could kill any helmetless soldier, no matter the strength of the user.

The stables thing I didn't describe very well. I had pictured the man saddling the horse from the other side of the corral, the man would have to cross the corral (passing near the stables) to deal with Lucius and Titus.

Thanks for pointing all of those things out.

Thomas Kaira
Yep, we are in High Rock, but only for another two chapters or so.
Thanks for yor pointers. I'll be sure to bear that in mind next time.

Acadian
First of all, I'm a big fan. Your praise makes me feel fuzzy inside. Thank you.
Yes, Lucius was named Titus at first, I'll edit those out.

Grits
Again, I'm a big fan. Thank you.
I'm sorry to everyone for the Lucius/Titus/Caius confusion. The boy's name is Lucius and his father is Titus, though he'll mostly be referred to as 'Father' by Lucius.
I'll be sure to look over future chapters more thoroughly.

A shorter chapter, sorry.
*******

Chapter One-point-Two: Swords in the Forest

The forest was dark, pitch black even. Somehow, Lysa had lost the road and now she was being led through the night by Father, his arm outstretched ahead of him, with Lucius mounted atop the mare. The trees of the forest were far apart, but their branches fanned out, fighting a war for the most sunlight. A war which had endured for centuries and was undoubtably taking place all across High Rock, Tamriel even.

The forest was quiet in it's endless battle, the only sound was that of crickets chirping. The light which the flames of Grimdale Moor provided had disappeared behind the trees not long ago. Though whenever Lucius looked up, an action which he performed sparingly, he would see an orange tinted, moonless night sky.

Suddenly, Father came to a halt. Everything seemed to fall silent, even the crickets. Somewhere, a wolf howled, his kin responding in kind moments later, it made the hair on Lucius' back stand on end. His father muttered something under his breath, but the sound of the wolves drowned it out.

A horse nickered, but it was not Lysa. Father turned and drew his sword, a barbaric war cry was unleashed from somewhere behind them, the hooves of a horse and the rasp of steel drawn from a scabbard accompanied it. The hooves grew louder, Lucius jumped from the saddle and crouched by a bush, Lysa trotted off behind Father, who stood steady. The rider who approached was almost invisible in the black of night, only a faint outline could be seen.
Lucius heard others too, other war cries were heard, distinctly Orcish in nature.

Lucius heard the swish of steel flying through the air, followed by a horse's scream and a crash as, presumably, it impacted into the leaf covered ground, probably throwing its rider from it, possibly snapping his neck.

But the others still came, closer and closer. Lucius cowered, he felt a warm, wet patch forming in his breeches. A faint smell of urine drifted upwards, irritating his nostrils. He wanted nothing more than to be at home, at the lake with his friends, Allon and Cyrus, Brandon and M'Sarra even tiny Tomas and smelly Susie. All of them, he wanted to beat them at Kickball, he wanted to throw stones at the Mage's Guild windows and then run away as the associates chased them around the town. But all that was gone, now there was only Father and Lysa. And maybe not for much longer.

He barely even heard the twang of bowstrings and the dying whines of horses as he sobbed. He did not hear much of the battle which raged around him for what, to him, seemed like hours. Not until the forest lit up in a pale green did Lucius cease his weeping and open his eyes and ears. He looked up and crawled from his bush, Father and a tall man were standing over him. His father heaved him to his feet. The man in front of him wore a shiny cuirass of steel with a rose imprinted on the front. He was clearly a Breton, judging by the slightly more upturned nose, slightly rounder face and slightly paler complexion compared to Lucius and his father, Imperials.

A Knight of the Rose, Lucius realised.
He felt a flush of red on his cheeks as he realised he had wet himself, the knight took no notice.
"Thank you sirs." Lucius mumbled as he looked around at the other knights. Some wore leather rather than steel and had bows rather than swords or maces. But they all had the rose on their front. At their feet were the bodies of Orcs and horses alike.

"No need to thank us young man," said a Bosmer with a crossbow from behind him.
"Just doing our duty to the people of Wayrest." Intoned the Breton who stood before him. "Are you two from Grimdale Moor?" he asked, a concerned look etched upon his face.
"Yes." Father replied solemnly. Lucius held back tears at the thought of his home.
"I am sorry. That is where we are travelling. I will have some men escort you to Oxcross if you wish."
"Thank you."

The Breton Knight remounted and barked a few orders, before leading his men through the forest. As they cantered away a short Bosmer lit a few torches, he passed one to Father.

"Come, it will be dawn in a few hours. And I hate the smell of a dead Orc." said the Bosmer as he mounted a chestnut Courser after helping Lucius remount Lysa. As he did so, he noticed that Father had wrapped a white rag around his leg. A dark red stain spread across it.
"I'm fine. Promise." He said as he pulled himself atop Lysa, behind Lucius.

Thomas Kaira
Followed by Orcs? What could they want with fickle Lucius and his swashbuckling father? Hmm...

But the others still came, closer and closer. Lucius cowered, he felt a warm, wet patch forming in his breeches. A faint smell of urine drifted upwards, irritating his nostrils.

Do not feel embarrassed, Lucius. It happens even to the best of us sometimes. wink.gif

As he did so, he noticed that Father had wrapped a white rag around his leg. A dark red stain spread across it.
"I'm fine. Promise." He said as he pulled himself atop Lysa, behind Lucius.


Why do I get the feeling someone is not being entirely honest here? mellow.gif

You've piqued my interest with the Knights of the Rose and particularly the Order of the Hour (a faction that is actually modded into my game). As I have come to see, the Order of the Hour as portrayed to me (and the mod is quite lore-accurate) are devotees of the Nine, and dedicated to the protection of their worshippers given their healthy presence in Cyrodiil's city chapels. I wonder how you will make them out to be? As many will tell you here, lore is nice, but feel free to adjust it as you see fit. This is Tamriel as you imagine it, not Bethesda. smile.gif

ADDENDUM: The Order of the Hour are the Knights of the Akatosh Chantry (the high priests of Akatosh). They are sworn to uphold His teachings and defend all who follow them. Brother Martin, for example, was a member of the Akatosh Chantry before the attack on Kvatch.

Of course, none of this lore on the Nine Divines made it into Oblivion. Quite a shame, really, considering the primary religion of Cyrodiil IS the faith of the Nine Divines. This is all stuff from back in the days of Daggerfall. Fitting, given the location, for you to mention it. smile.gif

Nits:

A war which had no doubt endured for centuries and was no doubt taking place all across High Rock, Tamriel even.

You repeat "no doubt" two times in rather quick succession here, which stagnates an otherwise very evocative passage a bit. You might consider swapping one of them out for something else.

But all that was gone now there was only Father and Lysa.

I get the feeling there is a comma missing here.

Just doing out duty to the people of Wayrest.

I think you mean "our." Guess your finger must've slipped there.
Grits
Lucius is having a rough night. I like the description of the dark forest with the trees trying to crowd each other out. I could really picture poor Lucius hiding under a bush, terrified and grieving over his lost home and friends. sad.gif I think it’s very fitting that he pretty much missed the battle.

As he did so, he noticed that Father had wrapped a white rag around his leg. A dark red stain spread across it.

Uh oh.

By the way, I love it when stories make me look things up in the lore. goodjob.gif



King Coin
Oh I hope Titus isn’t lying about that injury.

You set the scene well. It was rather eerie, especially with the dark forest and the howling wolves.

I also like how Lucius withdrew into himself during the fighting. Excellent.
Acadian
This was great! You are still doing a great job of showing us who Lucius is via actions, his observations and dialogue. We are getting to gradually know him and of his life in a nice gradual manner.

You painted some very nice images here of a foreboding forest, orc attack and knightly assistance. A pleasure to read.

There are two area that I submit for your consideration:

1. Consider separating all your paragraphs so the visual impact is easier in forum format. It can be a tad intimidating to read a large chunk of text on the forum without spacings. For example, everything in section 2 below could have certainly been provided without spaces between the short paragraphs. I hope you will agree however that it is much easier on the eyes with a space between each paragraph, even though they are all related.

2. Perspective or point of view. Clearly, you are writing from Lucius’ POV as he tells us his story and that is a perfect choice. Yet on two occasions in this episode you briefly jumped to what is called ‘omniscient third person’:

’Though if Lucius were to look up, he would see an orange tinted, moonless night sky.’
‘He never heard the clash of steel on steel and whiz of spells.’


Lucius did not know these things so neither should we if the story is in his perspective. Both these passages snap us right out of Lucius’ head and make us realize we are reading a story being told by an all knowing writer, not young Lucius. I recommend you avoid changing perspectives in the middle of a scene. Changing perspectives at all during a book should be a very notable and clearly delineated event if done at all and only if it makes reorienting the reader worth it.
TheBrume
Thomas Kaira
I'm going to give a few spoilers and say that the Knights of the Rose will play a minor part in this story.
There will be other knightly orders, though I won't spoil that part. smile.gif

Grits
Thank you.

King Coin
Thanks again.
I originally had the wolves attacking. Not sure why I changed it, I think it just seemed better.

Concerning Lucius' dad, well I'm not going to spoil it by saying he dies in the next chapter (just kidding of course).

Acadian
1. I agree now that I look back on it, I'll seperate them a bit more now.
2. Thanks for pointing that out.

Thanks to everyone for your comments on the quality of that chapter. I didn't think that it was very good. But I guess the saying 'quality over quantity' holds true (though I still don't like the title). And I'm still going to increse to quantity though.

Chapter Two: Oxcross Borough

The first tendrils of the sun's light crept through the treetops. Lucius and his father had been riding atop the white mare, Lysa, for some time. Stopping only to allow Lysa to drink from the brook which they had came across some hours ago. At the start of their flight from Grimdale, they were on the road, but somewhere along the way they had lost the track and ended up within the forest where they had been ambushed by Orcs and then rescued by Knights of the Rose. A Bosmer ranger was escorting them.
Judging by the way the sun fell upon the side of their heads, it seemed they were going in the right direction.

"Oxcross Borough should be just beyond that rise there." Aranil, the Bosmeri ranger, assigned to escort them to Oxcross Borough said as he pointed to a small rise, the distinctive top halves of Willow trees could be seen poking their tops out above it. A tell tale sign of water.
"What will we do then?" Lucius asked sleepily. He had cried through most of the night, he couldn't cry any more even if he wanted too.
Father sighed, "I will sell Lysa. She flipped a shoe on the ride here and I don't think she has the strength to reach Wayrest." The mare perked up her ears and snorted as if in agreement. "I want to reach the city soon before those bast- I mean before the Daggerfall Navy blockades the port."

Technically, Daggerfall wasn't at war with Wayrest. Daggerfall was at war with Sentinel over the Isle of Betony. But the people of Wayrest were suspicious of Daggerfall's ambitions. So King Eadwyre had taken the army to the borders and prepared the fleet.

When Lysa crested the rise, Oxcross Borough lay before them. The town was rather large, much more so than Grimdale Moor. It was, as the name implied, deemed prosperous and populous enough to be a self governing borough and important enough for the Kings of Wayrest to allow construction of city walls.
The party descended the ridge and skirted a small lake within which several ducks were quacking away merrily.

"We will take you to Mayor Harlow and Sir Gwendyn. They will want to speak with you." said the Aranil the Bosmer as the horses approached the portcullis of the city gates.
"Sir Gwynden? The Hero of Kathgran Vale? Paladin of the Knights of the Rose?" Lucius asked excitedly. He had heard of Sir Gwynden, as had the rest of Tamriel, he was very famous.
"The very same." The Bosmer laughed.

Lucius barely contained his energy as he strode along the red carpeted marble hallway of the Mayoral Palace. Excitement welled within him, he was eager to meet Sir Gwynden. Lucius and his father had arrived in Oxcross Borough yesterday, they had been treated to rooms in the palace and a hearty breakfast. And now they were going to meet Sir Gwynden!

The happiness fled from Lucius mind as he remembered why they were meeting him.
If only Allon and Cyrus were here to see this... He thought.
He quickly pushed those thoughts from his mind. Best not to think of those things, especially now that his tear ducts had refilled themselves.

As he and Father entered the audience chamber, Lucius caught a glimpse of their hosts. The Mayor was sat upon a large chair with a red cushion, a larger, more extravagant throne sat on a raised pedestal to his left.
"Reserved for the King himself." Father whispered into his ear.

The Mayor wore black finery with gold embroidery, the colour of mourning. Around his neck lay a large, yet simple golden chain. The Mayor had a fat, round face and multiple chins. He had a round body too.

To the throne's right, stood a literal 'Knight in Shining Armour.'
To Lucius' eyes, the knight was a giant. He stood a good foot or so taller than Father. He completely dwarfed the Mayor and the chair he sat on. It was no wonder the Knight stood. If he was sitting, he would have looked incredibly foolish. His armour was made of some black metal. It had gold coloured patterns criss-crossing it's face. The shape of a rose stood out clearly. Despite the gold and black colour, Lucius could still see his reflection in the cuirass. The man wore no helmet, exposing his features. He had a full head of black hair, though it appeared to be greying. It flowed down his face, stopping just above his shoulders. He was a Breton, though it was difficult to tell. He possessed a gaunt face, more common amongst mer or Imperials. And his skin was very pale, like that of a Nord's. His ears were slightly pointed, similar to an Altmer and his hair seemed wiry like that of a Redguard's. Though the Breton in him was there. His jaw was more rounded out, his nose was more upturned and his forehead was larger than that of an Imperial's.

To be sure, the Knight appeared an amalgamation of all the races, excepting perhaps the Khajiit and Argonians, though Lucius half expected him to have a tail and blink sideways.
This was Sir Gwynden.

"Greetings." Said the Mayor, warmly but with a tint of sadness, "I welcome you to Oxcross Borough, though I wish it were under happier circumstances. I grieve for your loss, truly I do." The Mayor did not meet either Father's nor Lucius' eyes as he spoke. A sign of a weak or untrustworthy person, Father had always said.

"I too, am sorry. I would hope you would tell us of what happened at Grimdale Moor. I'm afraid you two are the only survivors." Sir Gwynden spoke with a deep, booming yet gentle voice. Unlike the Mayor, he met both their eyes when he spoke, and his own were filled with pity, sadness and kindness.

Father hesitated leaning heavily on the cane which had been given to him. His leg hurt him badly and he had refused magical healing.
"It was an attack milords. Orcs." He spoke slowly, six eyes were on him all the while. "One of their warbands came down from the Wrothgarians in the dead of night. They snuck into the centre of town before setting upon it. Looting and burning everything. Even the chapel wasn't safe milords, I saw it go up in flames myself. I only managed to get me and my son to safety because I was still awake, working in my forge."

Both the Mayor and Sir Gwynden looked troubled. The latter spoke,
"They snuck in you say? This is troubling indeed. Do you think-"

An old, tall (though certainly not as tall as Sir Gwynden), scrawny man in ragged white robes interrupted. Lucius had not seen him, he had been standing in the corner inconspicuously. As he got closer, Lucius noticed there was a white cloth tied around his eyes, he walked with a stick held out in front of him, but he moved rather gracefully nonetheless.

"Intelligence, Sir Knight." The Blind Man's long grey beard bobbed up and down as he spoke. "Surely you have heard the rumours? That the Orcs have been staging well planned, well executed attacks against settlement all across High Rock? That one of their number has proclaimed himself king of Orsinium?" The Robed Man stood straight as an arrow and not hunched over as would be expected of one as ancient as he looked. "The tales of a drunken farmer on market day you may think, but drunken farmers do not travel all across the Wrothgarians. And I have heard the same rumours from experienced rangers and mercenaries."
"What is your point Aeron?" The Mayor blurted.

"My point… is that our good King Eadwyre is a fool to hold Daggerfall to suspect, when his eyes should fall upon Orsinium. As the Scrolls have foretold."

"Choose your words carefully sage. They border on treason." Gwynden growled, all the sympathy in his eyes were gone, replaced by something else. Suspicion or hatred perhaps.

The Blind Man grunted and waved his hand, "No matter." He turned to Lucius and his vision would have bored into him, if he could see, alas, the man's eyes were covered by a white cloth. Lucius shuddered to think that there may have been gaping holes where his eyeballs should be.

"Tell us, what of the Order of the Hour? They have… they had a sizable presence in the town." Though the man was facing at the boy, it was clear he was speaking to Lucius' father.

"The King took them milord, he took them to his armies to fight Daggerfall."
Sir Gwynden looked uncomfortable. "The Order of the Hour is a religious order… King Eadwyre has no right to levy them from their Chapels."

"Indeed." The Blind Man said simply. "But I fear that these matters are not the concern of a blacksmith, and prophecy which entwines itself with these events is not the destiny of the Blacksmith's son." He smiled a smile which made Lucius feel uneasy. The Mayor looked mortified and Sir Gwynden, angry.
"No milords," said Father, "I believe good sir is correct. Me and my son make for Cyrodiil, my brother will take us in. We hope to barter passage on a ship at Wayrest." Father spoke in an unhappy tone, more than unhappy. Resignation. Reluctance.

Sir Gwynden calmed down, "I see. Please, allow me to grant you use of a carriage, it will get you there much more quickly than on foot."
"And you shall stay for today to rest, I shan't take 'no' for an answer." The Mayor intoned.

And so Lucius and his father stayed at Oxcross Borough for the day. Lucius spent the day speaking with Sir Gwynden and a few of his knights, he was even taught a few things with a sword. Father would have been proud had he seen, but Father remained in his chambers, resting his pained leg. And they set off at dawn the next day, travelling on a finely crafted carriage led by a pair of strong horses.


Acadian
This episode moves things along well, and I was relieved to see father and son reach a relatively safe respite.

You provide a wonderful contrast in characters here. Your physical descriptions perfectly matched the dialogue and mannerisms of each. The chubby, perhaps bureaucratic Mayor. The powerfully noble Sir Gwyden. The enigmatic and frail aged sage. The interesting trio sheds some nice depth and mystery on politics in the northern provinces.

’And they set off at dawn the next day, travelling on a finely crafted carriage led by a pair of strong horses.’
This is some fine writing! It would be easy to render this passage flavorless, but your additions of ‘dawn’, ‘finely crafted’ and ‘pair of strong horses’ transform the action into a delight to read and envision. Beginning a sentence with 'And' or 'But' can be tricky and overdone or sparringly used to excellent effect. There are, however, definitely times and places for it. And you sure nailed one here. Well done!

At this point, your story is coming along nicely. You may want to consider reading some of the excellent fan fiction tales here in order to benefit from exposure to differing styles and technique. Additionally, there is no better way to maintain the readership of other writers than to return their support.


Nits:

Judging by the way the sun fell upon the side of their head’s,
You want heads, not the possessive head’s.

’The town was rather large, much larger than Grimdale Moor. It was, as the name implied, deemed prosperous and populous enough to be a self governing borough, large and important enough for the Kings of Wayrest to allow construction of city walls.’
I would not use ‘large’ (or forms of it) three times in such a small passage for two reasons. First, you are overly describing the size of the town. Second, it is generally good to avoid repeating a significant word in close proximity.

’The happiness Lucius mind as he remembered why they were meeting him.’
This sentence does not make sense in content or structure.

’and his forehead was larger than that of an Imperials.
Here, you do want the possessive: Imperial’s.

’Father hesitated, he leaned heavily on the can which had been given to him.’
A humorous image of Father on the can, but I suspect you meant cane. Also, the two clauses involved do not lend themselves to connection by comma. Since the second one begins with a pronoun for Father, two sentences would be okay: ‘Father hesitated. He leaned heavily on the cane which had been given to him.’ Much better however, would be to keep the comma but dump the pronoun: ‘Father hesitated, leaning heavily on the cane which had been given to him.’
King Coin
QUOTE(TheBrume @ Oct 14 2011, 01:14 PM) *

I originally had the wolves attacking. Not sure why I changed it, I think it just seemed better.

Definitely better the way you have it.

I liked the descriptions. I could clearly imagine the each of the characters in my mind.

… though Lucius half expected him to have a tail and blink sideways.
This made me smile.
Thomas Kaira
So we are definitely beginning at the start of the events of Daggerfall. The beginning of The Warp in the West. A shame these two shan't be taking part, though. It would have been nice to have a Daggerfall fic, but it's your story. smile.gif
Grits
“Sir Gwynden? The Hero of Kathgran Vale? Paladin of the Knights of the Rose?” Lucius asked excitedly. He had heard of Sir Gwynden, as had the rest of Tamriel, he was very famous.

That perked him up! I like how thrilled Lucius was to meet him, and how he resolved to deal with his sadness. All of his emotions have a youthful flavor. I was even excited for him when a real knight taught him some things with a sword.

That was a great scene in the audience chamber. We learned a lot in a perfectly natural way, watching the grown-ups talk. As Acadian and King Coin said, all three of them were clear in my mind.

It’s a relief to see Father on his feet, even with a cane.
TheBrume
Acadian
Thanks. I originally had another chapter in the forest before they reach Oxcross. But I decided to cut i, nothing much happened in it anyway.
And I'm already reading a few of the other stories here. Buffy is one of them, I just haven't caught up yet and I son't want to be posting a comment about what happened thirty episodes ago. smile.gif

King Coin
Thank you for your support.

Thomas Kaira
I did consider doing a Daggerfall story. But I haven't played enough of that game.
You know, Lucius was originally going to be from a village in Hammerfell after the Oblivion Crisis.

Grits
Thank you for your praise.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm rushing through the plot a little, but I'm eager for Lucius to reach Chorrol (maybe his dad will get there too) so I can get on with the "main" story. There's still at least 7-12 chapters (after these next two) before he gets there though.


Chapter Three: Wayrest

The carriage drew to a stop before the gates with a whinny of protest from one of the horses. It was sitting in the middle of the road, which caused more than a few insults to be thrown at the driver as mule drawn carts carrying barrels of mead, bales of hay or baskets of apples were forced to go around.

"This is as far as I take you I'm 'fraid." said the plump Redguard as he opened the door of the carriage. Lucius quickly jumped out and took a look at the city. Despite the rockiness of the journey, Lucius had gotten plenty of rest in the two days they had been travelling and now he was eager to stretch his legs.

The huge, wooden gates towered above everything, mighty towers of grey stone flanked them and Lucius could make out guardsmen peering through the crenels of the walls.

Wayrest. Jewel of High Rock, only Daggerfall came close and Wayrest surpassed that lesser city by a wide margin. Lucius had never seen walls or gates so large, he had never seen a city so huge and he had never seen so many people, horses, carts, donkeys, mules, carriages or pigeons. So much stone! Near all of the buildings in Grimdale Moor had been built from wood, except Father's workshop, the chapel and the Mages Guild. Even Oxcross Borough which was, until now, the grandest city Lucius' nine year old eyes had set themselves upon had been crafted mostly of wood, with it's walls and the Mayoral Palace being the only stone buildings he had seen.

Father dismounted after Lucius, though with some difficulty. He grunted and fell to one knee, his cane spinning away from him. A wave of panic washed over Lucius for a few moments. It vanished as the driver helped Father to his feet and brought him his cane.

"Thank you." He grunted. Lucius' attention was brought to his father's bandages. They were changing colour, crimson spread lazily across the white. Both Father and the driver seemed to ignore it.

"We'll be going now. Thanks again." Father said, more clearly this time. "Come Lucius." He hobbled along, gripping his cane so tight his knuckles were white.
A short guardsman, perhaps only a half-dozen years older than Lucius ran past them up towards the carriage driver.
"What business do you have in Wayrest?" His steel helmet fell down over his eyes, causing him to be adjusting it constantly.
Lucius ignored the heated conversation which followed as he passed through the city gates.
The first of his senses to be affected was sight. A long street stretched out before him, tall stone buildings on either side. There were hundreds of pigeons perched on rooftops and statues (the latter being coated in white). The people were everywhere, men pushing wheel barrows down the road, women were hanging out of some of the windows, calling down to passers-by about things which Lucius didn't quite understand, most of it seemed to concern hay or straw. He assumed that all the women had horses which needed to be fed. Some of them also seemed to want to roll down a hill.

There were children running about the streets, brandishing swords with guards chasing them and confiscating the weapons. That meant that it was 20th of Sun's Dusk. Warrior's Day. All of the smiths and armourers of Tamriel would sell their wares at half price. It suddenly struck him how warm it had been these last few days, unseasonably so.

Lucius had never seen so many people before. People of all races, doing many different things. Imperials caroused with Khajiit. Dunmer loitered with Redguards. Altmer yelled at Argonians. Imperials joked with Bosmer. All this activity produced noise, the second of Lucius' senses to be affected by Wayrest.

It was so loud. The city streets rang with the sounds of small skirmishes. Angry guardsmen and injured boys. Donkeys brayed and horses neighed. There was so much shouting. People hawking their wares, whatever they may have been. To passers-by. Bards were singing on street corners, their songs added to the many hundreds of sounds which assaulted Lucius' ears. He clamped his hands over his ears to drown out the noise.

The third thing which struck him was the smell. The smell was foul. Sewage, sweat, horses, smoke and gods know what else polluted the air. It made Lucius gag and retch. He unclamped his ears and pinched his nose. The sound returned but it was preferable to the smell.

He heard his Father speaking, but the words were drowned out by the rest of the city. Lucius simply followed his father, gingerly sidestepping the steaming brown piles which littered the road. The traversed the main street and after several minutes of walking, they came across a market square. Lucius unpinched his nose and many much more pleasant aromas entered up his nostrils.
Ash yams, Kwama eggs and hackle-lo from Morrowind. Ginger, pepper and aniseed from Elsweyr. Mangoes, pineapples and limes from Valenwood. Lucius had smelled these things only a few times before. Trading caravans would come through Grimdale Moor once a year.

The square still had the same level of noise as the city gates. But it was a different kind of loud. Much less savage, much easier on Lucius' ears.
And the market looked spectacular. It was clean. The buildings here were of a lighter shade of grey. Not the darker shaded, brown stained grey which had been common at the gate. There were stalls everywhere. Merchants clad in velvet, samite, cotton and silk manned the stalls in the centre. While poorer traders manned the outer stalls. In the very centre stood a large fountain and a statue of a regal looking man clad in fine robes. He had a large, four sided stone hanging on his neck by a chain.

There were large, colourful banners and many bolts of cloth and silk. There were strange beasts in cages. Most of which frightened Lucius.
One creature was called a 'Scamp' (Lucius knew this as there was a sign above the cage announcing so), it looked incredibly vicious, it's hands, feet, head and torso were bald, yet it's legs were covered in black hair. The beast looked incredibly angry, it smashed it's fists against the bars and tried to claw at passers-by. It even cast a spell at the merchant who was selling it. Yet the fireball failed to pass through the bars, it fizzed futilely against an invisible shield.

There were also large, flabby, white things with no arms or legs. They dragged themselves along on large fins. They had a large hole instead of a mouth and they made strange honking noises at each other.
There were huge, white bears. Enormous, striped orange cats. Big creatures with a leathery skin which looked like a walking mouth.
Lucius stared at all the fantastic animals as he held onto his father's cloak so he wouldn't get lost.

Much to Lucius' dismay, they eventually left the market and he found himself gaping, not at scamps or bears, but at a huge… thing. It was enormous, it stretched out to the east as far as the eye could see. It was big and blue and wet. The sea.

They were at the waterfront. Here, instead of pigeons, there were white birds. They screeched and squawked at each other and they swooped down to snatch fish from skiffs and barrels. All along the docks, there were dozens of ships of many shapes and sizes. Small, single masted vessels with statues of half naked woman and mermaids on the front.
Large, double masted ships with many rows of oars and colourful sails.
Warships, double masted with many banks of oars and large vicious looking bronze rams on the front.

Despite all of those ships, Lucius still found himself fascinated with the sea and he was most disappointed when he found himself staring at a white wooden door instead. He snapped his head to the side and found himself in a quiet inn. There were only a few people around and all of them were better dressed than the shirtless, shoeless sailors out on the wharf.
"Why are we here?" Lucius asked his father, tugging on his cloak.
"I am going to get us onto a ship." He replied, without turning.



Chapter Three-point-One: The Beginnings of A Lengthy Voyage

"Anvil eh? 'Fraid not friend. I don't go to Anvil. My route is north around Skyrim to Morrowind and back. There's still plenty o' money to be had over there, even with the East Empire Company crawling all over the goods. And there's none to be had in Cyrodiil, not these days. Only worth goin' fer the wines o' Skingrad. And with all the trouble the Psjiics been causin even that ain't worth the risk. " The captain was a huge man, with a head full of thick, long, brown, slightly greasy hair, a huge shaggy beard and very hairy arms. Lucius had never seen anyone who fit the saying "Bear of a Man" quite so well. "You could try old Fervala there though," he pointed to a white haired Dunmer woman sitting at a table in the corner of the room. "I've heard her crew sayin' she's goin' to Cyrodiil, Gods know why." He gave a huge grin, more than a few of his brown teeth were missing. The sight sickened Lucius.
"Thank you sir." Father spluttered in between violent coughing.

He had seemed to have caught a cold on their journey here, they had sold their horse at Oxcross Borough and gotten a carriage to Wayrest, courtesies of Sir Gwendyn of the Knights of the Rose. Father was clearly quite ill, yet they did not have the money for the Chapel healer. Not if they wanted to get to Cyrodiil without starving to death. Or eating well and not reaching Cyrodiil at all.
The old captain merely raised his tankard and smiled again, though this time with a concerned look on his face.

"Excuse me, Dark Elf." Father said, coughing again. "Would we perhaps be able to barter passage on your ship? We make for Anvil."

"Anvil? Don't know about that. Not with them Psjiics about." She spat onto the floor and took a swig of her drink. "I'm goin' round the continent and up the Niben, not that your young mind knows about that sort of thing eh boy?" she smiled at Lucius with perfect white teeth, a refreshing change from the Bear's brown grin. "Bravil is my heading, you'd never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy in all the Empire, but there's a good sized dockyard with lots o' traders. I'm going north ways around Skyrim, Morrowind" she spat in his bucket at the mention of his homeland, "Black Marsh" she spat again, "then up the Niben as I say. You won't catch any merchant with all his dogs barking going into the Abeccean, not with them Psjiics causing all that trouble."

Lucius and his father had heard smatterings of news concerning the Psjiics of Sumerset, apparently they have been "causing trouble," trouble in the form of creating storms and teleporting ships to the bottom of the sea. The Imperial Navy had been called in to deal with it but things looked to be turning violent rather quickly and merchant seamen avoided that area now.

"It'll take about five months, weather, Gods and Imperial Navy permitting, to get to Bravil. A long journey, but my ship is one of the fastest ever to grace these seas I tell you. You'd have to suffer up to eight months on any other ship at this dock. I'd charge you eighty Septims each for a hammock and board. Bear in mind that's more than fair. I could put six crates of goods in the space you take up. I'm offering you that 'cause I like you." Fervala grinned, showing off her perfect white teeth again.

Father accepted the offer, paid the captain and the next day, they boarded the ship named 'Necrom Burning,' named for Fervala's least favourite city. The ship set off on a cool Sundas morning, heading south by south west, towards the port of Sentinel, never straying out of sight of land.
Acadian
I recommend you slow your posting to no faster than three times a week. In fact, I think once or twice a week is better still. This gives busy readers who follow multiple stories plenty of time to stay up with them and savor each. Posting too much (either volume or frequency) invites either skimming or falling behind and giving up – neither of which you want, of course. You are better with a slower, yet predictable posting schedule. In the long run, you are better off to post more slowly and allow the extra time for others to read your story as you read theirs.

Loved the diminutive teen-aged guard! Then the ladies in windows talking about rolling in the hay and the full scale assault on young Lucius’ senses. All in all, a wonderfully rousing description of Wayrest!

And they are now off for Cyrodiil with Captain Fervala, her white teeth and Lucius’ father ominously deteriorating.


Nits. These can be easily reduced in the future by more editing. Yet another reason to slow down. Quality writing takes time - lots of it.

Repetition of the same word in close proximity like we talked about for your last episode. The latter stages of editing is the best time to really look for and cull that out of an episode. Only one distracting example in this episode, but it is notable: In your two short opening paragraphs, you use the word ‘carriage’ four times. With some time and creativity, I’m sure you can reduce that to one or two uses.

’The building here were of a lighter shade of grey.’
You want the plural – ‘buildings’.

’Merchats clad in velvet, samite, cotton and silk manned the stalls in the centre.’
Respell the word to ‘merchants’.

’He snapped his head to the side and found himself in a quiet in.’
I can’t connect this head snapping action to what I presume to be entering a quiet inn (not quiet in)?

"Anvil? Don't know about that. Not with them Psjiics about." She spat onto the floor and took a swig of her drink. "I'm goin' round the continent and up the Niben, not that your young mind knows about that sort of thing eh boy?" he smiled at Lucius with perfect white teeth, a refreshing change from the Bear's brown grin. "Bravil is my heading, you'd never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy in all the Empire, but there's a good sized dockyard with many o' traders. I'm going north ways around Skyrim, Morrowind" he spat in his bucket at the mention of his homeland, "Black Marsh" he spat again, "then up the Niben as I say. You won't catch any merchant with all his dogs barking going into the Abeccean, not with them Psjiics causing all that trouble."
Here you seem to be talking about Fervala, who was mentioned a couple paragraphs above as an old white haired Dunmer woman. In this paragraph, she starts as a she, but then changes into a he for the rest of the paragraph. Two paragraphs later, she happily rediscovers her feminine gender.
Grits
I definitely recommend a slower pace. I find that I can write ahead in my story when time and enthusiasm permit, but then I spend more time re-writing and editing than in the initial most creative part. I have a one day cooling-off period after something is “finished,” where I leave whatever I’m going to post next completely alone for a day, then give it a final polish. It helps to have fresh eyes when looking for things like repetitive words, verb tense, and the like. I don’t have much advice about writing, but this is one lesson learned from the tremendously helpful writers here that has served me well. smile.gif

I really liked the paragraph where Lucius was seeing Wayrest for the first time and comparing it to his home Oxcross Borough. How fun that they arrived on Warrior’s Day. I thought you did a great job showing us things from a nine-year-old perspective, especially the details he noticed about the fantasic animals. I smiled when he ignored some of what was being said in favor of looking around, and then misunderstood what the women were calling down from their windows.

Titus does not sound like he’s getting better. Yikes.
TheBrume
I'll go at a slower pace from here on out. I suppose I'll make tuesdays mu update days.

Chapter Four: A New Tutor


"Curse this ungodly ship…" His father groaned as he regurgitated his breakfast over the wooden rails of the Necrom Burning. They had been in open sea for just over five days and the waters had been relatively calm the sailors said. Relative to what, Lucius did not know.

Father's health appeared to be improving (perhaps thanks to the sea air) in some aspects, his cough was now gone. But the sea seemed to have caused him to deteriorate in other ways. He was often vomiting over the rails, though the sailors said that this was normal for people new to sea travel. Lucius felt fine, however. He hadn't vomited at all on their journey so far.

Lucius was, however, suffering from extreme boredom. He had occupied his first hour or so onboard with exploration. Most of the ship was distinctly uninteresting to him, only the crow's nest intrigued him at all and he wasn't even allowed up there by the captain, for fear he would plummet into the sea and be eaten by the slaughterfish.
The cargo holds were too crowded with crates and barrels of goods to explore very effectively and the parts which he had explored contained nothing of interest.
The passenger's rooms were little more than four hammocks separated from the next four by a thin piece of wood which didn't even go all the way up to the ceiling.
So, Lucius had confined himself to the main deck and to the fore and aftcastles, watching Hammerfell disappear behind them and observing the dolphins which sometimes swam alongside the vessel.

It seemed that Captain Fervala was not lying when she said that the Necrom Burning was fast. It had taken them just over three days to reach Sentinel, the ship often overtook other vessels.
The Necrom Burning remained in Sentinel for a single day, exchanging goods. Rubies and silver went off, swords and hourglasses and more passengers came onboard.

Hourglasses from Sentinel were apparently highly sought after by the Telvanni of Morrowind, according to the captain. They believed that the sands of the Alik'r Desert was superior to all other sand. Lucius thought that it was a silly belief.

One piece of good news was that there were other children of Lucius' age on board. Xuthaleel an Argonian (whose name seemed impossible to pronounce, so he called him 'Zoot' instead) was the one who he liked the most.
He had red scales marked with the occasional spot of green.

There was Hyna, a tiny Bosmer girl who Lucius did not like. She was always whining about something it seemed and she always wanted everything to go her own way. There was also Katie and Karrod, Redguard twins. Katie had taken a liking to Hyna, so those two were always seen together.

Lucius like Karrod. He told some good jokes. He had nice hair too. It was frizzy and wirey and black.

A gust of wind blew into the sails and the ship lurched to port (the sailors said that 'port' is left on the sea), causing Father to spill his gits once more.
"Go away and play Lucius, better you don't have to see my breakfast again."
Lucius was only too happy to comply and he scampered off below deck to the passengers quarters. On the way, he (literally) ran into Zoot. Both boys were knocked to the ground, holding their head in pain.

"You ran into me!" Zoot shouted, he had a knack for stating the obvious.
Lucius dragged himself to his feet, Zoot followed suite seconds later.

"I have heard there is a mage on board." Zoot said, suddenly excited, "I think we should find him, maybe he will teach us some magic." He grinned.

Argonian grins were strange things, their mouths do not turn upwards as noticably as with other races, instead they simply bare their teeth. It looks threatening and the only way to distinguish an Argonian grin from an Argonian scowl is by looking at their eyes. The eyes themselves are also strange. The pupils are narrow and vertical, instead of having white around the pupil and iris (Argonians don't have irises), the Argonians have green or amber or red colours around it.

"Good idea," Immediately, Lucius was bounding down towards the passenger's quarters, Zoot trailing behind. Another strange thing about Argonians, Lucius had noticed, was the way they walked. Or rather the way some walked. Some of them, like Zoot, walked normally, just as any man or mer. Others, like Zoot's mother, Xeeta, walked differently. Her legs were backwards it seemed. And she waddled a little. Apparently, Zoot's father was a different… sub-race of Argonian to his mother. The sub-race mostly found near the coasts of Black Marsh and at the western border with Cyrodiil. Zoot's mother was a sub-race found closer to the Morrowind border and in the north. She had told Lucius that there were other sub-races, but that they were less common and mostly remained within Argonia.

It did not take them long to stumble across the mage Zoot spoke about, he was a tall Altmer, with shiny, combed back hair of an off-grey colour. He wore bright blue robes, very expensive. When they found him, he was seated at a table, peering over a book with a strange, green light around him. It took the boys several minutes of bickering before they decided who was to attract the Altmer's attention.

"Pssst…psssst… Altmer." Lucius whispered, cupping his hands around his mouth to make the sound travel further, he didn't know why he did this, but it seemed appropriate to him. The Altmer remained seated, still reading.
"Pssst…Altmer" It continued like this for several minutes, it almost seemed like the elf was turning a darker shade of pink each time they whispered.
"Psst… Alt-"
"What!??!" The elf rose and spun suddenly, his face was red, his book flew through the air and landed with a thud on the floor. A few of the hairs on his head were sticking up.

The boys remained silent for a few moments, watching the elf's face return, slowly, to it's natural olive colour.
"Can you teach us magic?" They both asked at once.
"No." Was the answer, he sat back down and returned to his reading.
"Why not?" They ran up to stand at his side. He ignored them.
"What are you reading?" Zoot asked.
"'The Imperial Guild of Mages' Treatise On Mysticism In The Third Era. And The Possible Exclusion of Said School From The Accepted Schools of Magicka'" He replied in a monotone.
"Sounds boring, wouldn't it be more fun to teach us magic?" Lucius asked, hopeful.
"No." Was the reply.

For three days, the boys did not relent. Twice a day they would come to him and ask to be taught magic.
"Teach me how to be invisible." Zoot asked one day, "No. I am reading 'Carandil's Report on the Assault Upon Necromancer's Cave. Third Era, Three Hundred and Ninety Six.'" Was the reply.
"Teach me to walk on water spell." Lucius asked the next day. "No. 'Merandil's Theorem on the Origins of Direnni Tower' is much more interesting." Was his reply.
"Teach me to make a water walking potion." Zoot asked the next time. "No. I am reading 'Marcus Deric's Thoughts on the Future of Destruction Magic.'" Each time the boys grew more disheartened.

On their final attempt, Lucius asked, "Teach me to read." The Altmer began his reply, monotonous as always, "No. I am reading the Imperial Alchemy Symposium's Theory on…" He perked up as he caught on to what Lucius had said. "You… cannot read?" He looked up, Lucius shook his head. He looked at Zoot, who shook his head also and then to Karrod, who had only recently joined Lucius and Zoot in their quest for magic, despite the wishes of his uncle, whom he was travelling with.

"Well, this must be rectified at once." The boys burst into grins, Zoot's tail picked up.
"And magic?" They asked.
The Altmer looked suspicious, "Perhaps. We shall see how you handle literacy first.
"Firstly, we shall teach you your letters. Now, it just so happens that I know a nice little song to help you remember. I will sing it, then you shall sing it. Ready?"

The boys were taught to read in remarkable speed, just a few days. The Altmer, who was named Argentil, thought this was due to his own skill as a tutor. The boys knew differently…
Acadian
This delightful episode is simply packed with tiny memorable details. The attention you lavished on the children and grownups on the ship was most welcome. I also enjoyed the relationships among the children and the way you characterized them. I have a soft spot for tiny Bosmer as I expect you’re aware, so little Hyna was a delight to read about – another high maintenance little she-elf in the making. A nice touch that Karrod’s Redguard father discouraged his son from pursuing magic.

And Lucius learns to read! Perhaps some magic is next after all.

I’m pleased that Lucius’ father, in some ways, seems to be a little better. There still seems something ominous about his health.
Grits
"What are you reading?" Zoot asked.
"'The Imperial Guild of Mages' Treatise On Mysticism In The Third Era. And The Possible Exclusion of Said School From The Accepted Schools of Magicka'" He replied in a monotone.


laugh.gif Nice. That sounded just like an Altmer’s reading list.

It sounds like the boys pulled a fast one on Argentil. I wonder if he will teach them any magic? Everyone on a sea voyage would benefit from a water-walk spell, if only to get away from the vomiting Imperial. I loved the way you described the children. The details made them easy to picture, and then their individual mannerisms brought them to life. A very enjoyable episode at sea. smile.gif
TheBrume
Acadian
Thanks, though you might not like what happens to her in the next two chapters.

Grits
I have no idea how I came up with the names of those books. I think I just rattled off a couple of magic sounding words and stuck then together,

Here is a map fo the voyage. The blue dot just north-west of Wayrest is Grimdale Moor. The red line west of Sentinel is where we are now, roughly. The green line is the rest of the voyage. I'll probably deviate from it more than once though.
The 'voyage' section of the story (everything in the green line on the map) will take up maybe 12-15 chapters. Perhaps more.
Map

Now, speaking of magic...

Chapter Five: Arcane

"No, no, no, no, no, no! Your stance is all wrong. You must stand straight Lucius, straight as an arrow, not bent like a bow." He calmed down for a few moments before his voice rose in tone once again as he noticed another fault.

"And your hand makes the wrong shape. Concave not convex. This is alteration Lucius, not destruction. You are trying to make Xutheel lighter, not set him aflame." Argentil had grown more and more irritated as the day wore on.

They advanced quickly at first, the schools of illusion, destruction and thaumaturgy came easily to them. According to Argentil, only the High Rock, Hammerfell and Black Marsh branches of the Mage's Guild considered the latter as a school of it's own and not simply a part of Mysticism.
Zoot could make himself invisible with ease, Lucius enjoyed freezing the sailors rum before they could drink it and Karrod could walk through walls as if he were born with the ability.
But Captin Fervala had grown tired of the boys playing tricks on the crew by pretending they were ghosts. Morale on the ship had plummeted due to the lack of rum and the sailors were afraid to enter the cargo hold.

So they had been forced to move on to another school. Argentil had chosen alteration, he said it was one of the simpler schools, easy to use once one got their head around the theory behind it.

Mysticism was far beyond their comprehension or the limits of their patience, Argentil felt uneasy about having the boys summon Daedra while in such an enclosed space and even the powerful mage had difficulty with restoration. By the standards of the Mage's Guild, Argentil was not even a journeyman in the art of healing.

"Okay, I shall explain it once more to you three." He sighed and stood up from his stool. "The Schools of Magicka, according to the Mage's Guild, are split not according to their effects, but by the means of casting the spells belonging to any particular school." He rubbed the bridge of his slender nose.

"Light and invisibility spells are dissimilar in their effects, but they are cast in the same way." He thrust his hand out, the tips of his fingers pinched together, his wrist was straight and his hand formed a sort of '7' shape. "You must set make your hand like this in order to cast both spell. Whether on touch, target or upon yourself." He opened up his hand and a spell was released at Zoot, turning him invisible for a few seconds. The Argonian released a raspy giggle, Argentil smiled.

"Now, I hope you remember this from now on." He dispelled the invisibility (his hand was in a completely different shape now, looking more like a backwards "E" from the side. "Try again Lucius."
Lucius focused, he thought about what he was going to do and willed the magicka through him. He felt a strange sensation in his stomach and it rushed through his body and down his arm. His hand glowed and a translucent sphere shot from his hand. It struck Zoot square in the chest to no apparent effect.

"How do you feel Xuthaleel?" It amazed Lucius that Argentil could pronounce Zoot's real name so well.

"I feel, lighter." To illustrate his point, he jumped, he seemed to fall at the normal speed.

"That won't work Xuthaleel. You will fall at the same speed as you would normally. But I shall take your word for it." He turned to Lucius, "Well done. Next, I will teach you both to open locks."

After two hours of opening simple chests and magically sealed crates, the lesson ended and the boys were let loose on the ship. They knew exactly what they were going to do.

"Open it." Lucius whispered. Zoot looked at him, his take scratched across the wooden floor.

"No. You do it. I don't even want to go in." Zoot stood up, lifting his tail from the ground.

"Get down." Karrod yanked him back into a crouched position.

"Why are we crouching, it does not make any sense. Why can't I stand?" Zoot moaned.

"Fine. I'll do it." He unlocked the door to the Captain's quarters and slowly opened it. The trio crept through the doorway

"There is nothing here." Zoot complained as he stood up.

Lucius stood also, followed by Karrod.

"Well, lets look around." He walked over to a chest and opened it with a spell.

"Treasure" Lucius said excitedly as he flipped the heavy lid open. His smile disappeared as he saw what was inside. There was a pile of maps, books, navigation equipment and the like. Perfectly boring to a nine year old.

"There is you treasure." He laughed. It was a strange laugh. It sounded like a 'kah, kah, kah,' rather than a 'ha, ha, ha.'

Lucius snatched up one of the sheets of parchment and read it.

6 Barrels of quality Wrothgarian Beer. Bound for Dawnstar and Northpoint. 100 septims per barrel.
90 lbs of Wrothgarian iron ore. To be delivered to Alluc's Arms in Archon. 400 septims in payment expected.
30 sets of the finest Anticleran silver cutlery and crockery. Bound for Leyawiin, to be delivered to the countess. 1,500 septims to be paid upon delivery and at the Countess'
satisfaction.
24 Sentinel Cutlasses, steel. Bound for Camlorn. 800 septims for 12, minimum price.
50 Sentinel Hourglasses. 20 Bound for Sadrith Mora and 30 for Port Telvannis. 50 septims per hourglass (these Telvanni are idiots to pay such a high price for a little sand).


The list went on in a similar manner, at the bottom there was a reminder to buy 200 lbs of ebony ore from Necrom (next to the word "Necrom" there was a curse in brackets, though Lucius was unfamiliar with that particular Dunmeri swear word).

"Damn the Imperial Navy. Damn them all to Oblivion I say." Captain Fervala's voice called out.

"Aye Captain." Replied a sailor. He sounded like a Nord.

"Don't they know that we keep the Empire standing? Us sailors. What would they do without us? And now they think to charge us extortionate taxes so we can make port."
She sounded livid. Lucius quickly ran towards the door and hid behind it, Karrod jumped under the captain's bed while Zoot cast and invisibility spell and ran to the corner.

"Well, captain. It's Daggerfall itself that's chargin' them taxes. The Navy is just collecting the money." He sounded quite bored.

"Spare me your drivel, Jorge. Set course for port."

"Aye, aye captain." Lucius heard the sound of heavy footsteps on wood as the sailor rushed to carry out his orders.
He heard the sound of a key entering it's hole and a noise which sounded like a confused dog. The door swung open. It came to a stop when it hit Lucius' nose. He struggled to hold back a yelp of pain.

"I though I left this door closed." Lucius' mother always used to tell him that talking to oneself was a sign of being tainted by Sheogorath.

Captain Fervala entered her cabin. And looked around.
"If that mage has taught those boys to open locks I'll string him from the crows nest."
She walked over and snatched something from her desk before leaving the room and locking the door behind her.

"See what you've done. We don't know any lock spells! How will we get out?" Karrod was still under the bed as he shouted.
Lucius thought for a moment, and snapped his fingers.
"We can walk through the door!"
He said excitedly as he cast the spell upon himself and passed through the solid oak door. It felt strange. He still felt the door pressing against him, but it was a nice sensation.

He walked through, Karrod and Zoot came through on either side of him. They pretended not to notice the tiny Bosmer stood in front of them.

"I'm telling." A high pitched, nasally voice announced.

"What's that? A voice from nowhere! Ghosts!" Lucius said, ignoring the short Bosmer in front of him. Zoot struggled to suppress a laugh.

"Down here." The voice said again. Lucius let his gaze drop to the floor.

"Ah, Hyna, I see you now. I mistook you for an ant," The other two laughed again.

"I'm telling the captain you were in her room." Hyna said, arms crossed.

"It's called a cabin." Karrod intoned, "And no you won't. Or tomorrow we'll go fishing for slaughter fish and use you as bait." He had a stern look on his face, Lucius wasn't quite sure if he was serious or not.

Hyna pouted her lips and looked at the three of them with narrow eyes, a strand of hair fell across her face yet she ignored it.
"Fine." She said moodily before storming off.

Karrod looked pleased with himself. "In Sentinel. Me and my friends used to play Hunt the Bosmer. Maybe I should teach you the game one day."


Acadian
This was delightful! I’m glad to see someone pay homage to positional limitations regarding casting. Great fun to hear the kids’ take on spellcasting.

Oh noes! I hope they don’t use the little Bosmer as bait for slaughterfishing!

Seriously, this was fun to read. Thanks for the map and an idea of the length and scale you plan for the voyage. I shall fill me mug wi’ rum and look forward to enjoying the long voyage!
Grits
I love the map! Thank you.

Lucius is picking up some very useful skills on his voyage. I enjoyed the discussion of casting and the schools of magic very much.

Karrod looked pleased with himself. "In Sentinel. Me and my friends used to play Hunt the Bosmer. Maybe I should teach you the game one day."

ohmy.gif I hope he’s joking!! tongue.gif
McBadgere
That was fun that...I was pretty impressed with the thought behind the different way of casting spells...Nice one...

Looking forward to the next bit...
TheBrume
Well, I've come back to this much later than I would have hoped. I've been rather busy with, well, computer problems mostly. In fact, I had hoped to post this earlier today, but everyone else keeps distracting me with their own great stories! tongue.gif

Acadian Thank you. During my this story's short hiatus, I've been thinking about the voyage and have changed my original plans. I'm going to cut down on the number of chapters set at sea. So Lucius will be back on dry land by chapter nine, ten at the latest. Then I can maybe have him reach Chorrol and he can start his new life as a [blank]. I'm not going to spoil it. biggrin.gif

Grits Your welcome. I had thought about drawing Tamriel by hand (well, by mouse), but my MS Paint skills can only stretch so far! I think I'll be including more maps in future.

McBadgere Thanks. I never really liked the idea of magic in TES being cast through speaking. I had always preffered hand shapes, I think it makes more sense in some ways. When under water, for example, how can a mage speak to cast a spell?


Chapter Six: Mundane


A thick fog had descended over Northpoint as the Necrom Burning entered port. It took only a few hours to unload a few crates and take some more goods and supplies onboard. Lucius watched from the forecastle as a group of men and women in leather armour walked down the gangplank and off the ship.

"Thank the Nine those lot are gone." said Karrod's uncle, Daron. "Maybe now I'll finally be able to get some sleep." To illustrate his point, the Redguard yawned.

"I would not count on it. Look, there are Nords coming on board now. We will not have any rest because of their carousing." Xeeta, Zoot's mother said.
To be sure, a trio of tall, burly Nords pounded up onto the ship, axes and swords at their waists.

A few moments later, a tall man in a red surcoat emblazoned with a golden lion over a shining chain mail hauberk came aboard. He had a large kite shield in his left arm with the same lion on a red field and a long sword at his hip. His garb looked a lot like many of the knights Lucius saw at Oxcross Borough, except for the lion.

The rest of him was quite unremarkable. No scars, short close cropped brown hair, average height. Nothing at all distinctive.

"Do you think he will teach us how to use a sword?" Karrod whispered to Lucius.

"You have more important things to learn about than how to swing a piece of metal around Karrod." Argentil said. He always seemed to hear even the quietest of whispers. "I had been planning to teach you some conjuration later, but maybe we can just leave that and you can bash each other's heads in with a mace hmm?"

Mere minutes after the ship left port, Karrod, Lucius, Zoot, Hyna and Katie (Karrod's twin sister) found themselves in a well lit cabin.

"Take a seat children. Your parents have asked me to teach you about some more mundane subjects." A sly smile crossed the Altmer's face, Zoot leapt up from his seat and ran to the door.

"Not so fast." Argentil cast a spell at the door, causing it to slam shut and lock. Zoot futilely cast an open spell at it, but to no avail.

"Sit down Xuthaleel." The Argonian reluctantly took a seat at a long table, next to Hyna.

"Today, I am going to teach you about history. Your parents have already informed me that you all know how to count and read." He looked at Lucius at the last word.

"Now, in the beginning, there was only Aubris. Chaos. From this chaos, the cosmos are formed by Anu and Padomay…"

Two hours later, Lucius was still sitting in his seat with his head supported by his hand, Argentil was still prattling on.

"In the one hundred and forty third year of the first era, King Harald, the thirteenth of Ysgramor's line, united the northen regions of Tamriel and founded the Kingdom of Skyrim."
Lucius stopped listening for a few minutes, focusing his attention on the blank piece of paper in front of him. He began tearing pieces off, rolling them up and flicking them at Hyna the Bosmer in front of him. He had just scored a direct hit on her freakishly large ears when he realised that Argentil was staring at him.

"Are you quite finished Lucius?" Without waiting for an answer he continued on. "The Empress Alessia, in an effort to please both her subjects, who had adopted the religion of their Ayleid overlords, and her Nordic allies, founded the religion of the Eight Divines. An intricate fusion of the traditional Nordic and Aldmeri pantheons." The Altmer paused to look around, his students were quite clearly bored and tired.

"I shall allow you a short break, you are free to leave for now. When we return, we shall continue with the history of the Alessian Empire." He dispelled to spell he had cast on the door.

Immediately, the 'class' jumped to their feet and fled from the room, scattering across the ship in their hope of finding somewhere to hide from their 'tutor.'

"Quick, to the cargo hold, he will never find us there." Karrod seemed terrified at the prospect of returning to Argentil and his history lesson. Karrod, Hyna and Lucius both ran down to the very bottom of the ship, Zoot opted to make himself invisible and simply stand by the door of the 'classroom' while Katie opted to run to the top deck, Lucius didn't know where exactly.

Minutes later, Lucius found himself crouching inside a barrel half full of apples, holding his breath as Argentil stalked the floor around him. He heard the mage breathing heavily, standing over the barrel. The tingle of magicka filled the air.

"I've found all three of you." He lifted the lid of the barrel and Lucius looked up at him and grinned. The Altmer simply grunted.
He moved over to a crate and kicked it, causing one of it's six sides to fall off, revealing Karrod to be rolled up into a ball, hands over his eyes.
"That only works one way Karrod."
He moved over to a sack, picked it up and upended it. A little yellow haired Bosmer fell out and landed with a thud, green leaves scattered across the floor.

"That's all five of you accounted for, now we can continue with our lesson." The Altmer seemed pleased with himself, his expression changed from satisfaction and smugness to concern and bemusement, however as he examined the leaves which were surrounding Hyna.

"Those are Blackwood Swamp Pads, Hyna." He shook his head. "You're going to come out with quite a nasty rash."

Sure enough, by the time they were back at the class room, Hyna's skin had become a pinkish colour and she was scratching her hands and face wildly, much to everyone else's amusement.

They ended the day with accounts from the War of Righteousness and promises of lessons, about the history of Morrowind all the way from the prophet Veloth up to the present, to be had the next day. A fact which frustrated Lucius to no end.

Acadian
Welcome back! Here you provide us a delightful episode as Lucius continues his voyage.

"In the one hundred and forty third year of the first era, King Harald, the thirteenth of Ysgramor's line, united the northen regions of Tamriel and founded the Kingdom of Skyrim."
Lucius stopped listening for a few minutes, focusing his attention on the blank piece of paper in front of him. He began tearing pieces off, rolling them up and flicking them at Hyna the Bosmer in front of him. He had just scored a direct hit on her freakishly large ears when he realised that Argentil was staring at him. ‘

Much to like about this above passage! Rather than simply tell us Argentil was boring, you show it to us by his words. You also show us Lucius’ boyish energy and how he turns it to teasing the little elf, Hyna.

You are doing a superb job of staying squarely in Lucius' young boy perspective. smile.gif

Nits:
’A few moments later, a tall man in a red surcoat emblazoned with a golden lion over a shining chain mail hauberk. ‘
This is an incomplete sentence. A few moments later, a tall man did what? I suggest simply adding something like: ‘strode aboard the ship’ at the end of the passage.

’Without waiting for an answe he continued on. ‘
Missing an ‘r’ from the end of answer.

’He moved over to a crate and kicked it, causing one of its six sides to fall of, ‘
Missing an ‘f’ on the last word. I’m sure you meant ‘off’.
Grits
He moved over to a crate and kicked it, causing one of it's six sides to fall off, revealing Karrod to be rolled up into a ball, hands over his eyes.
"That only works one way Karrod."


laugh.gif I like Argentil a lot more than his pupils do, I’m sure. I wonder what they will try tomorrow to avoid learning about Morrowind. It must be extra hard to pay attention knowing that there is a swordsman on board.
mALX
*

Sorry I'm a latecomer to your thread, the end of last year was so hectic (and then Skyrim came out) - I must have just missed this posting !!


QUOTE

"I want to reach the city soon before those bast- I mean before the Daggerfall Navy blockades the port."


Love the way you managed the censored word here - gave us the idea without letting them auto-change your term - very effective!

Also loved your little background history of Daggerfall - very nice! Your detailed descriptions of the towns throughout the story have been great, really giving us a picture of the settings as they arrive at each - nice!

Another thing I love is that your story is steeped in lore, that is tremendous!

Chapter Four - in my humble opinion was your best chapter yet. You personalized this chapter in so many ways - loved this whole chapter, if I had any nit it would be spaces separating paragraphs and dialogue in this chapter. Otherwise, you ROCK'd it !!

Chapter Five & Six - you are really becoming comfortable with your story now, and it shows. A marked improvement in your writing over the first two chapters - great write!

Aside from the content of the story itself I got a huge kick out of these:

QUOTE

* A story about a knight. But you don't find out he becomes a knight

* He dies at the end (just kidding)


Those two had me rolling before I even started reading !! You have a great sense of humor (a bit warped, just like mine, lol)

Awesome Write !! And a VERY belated welcome to the forum !! (and an apology that it took so long).

*
TheBrume
Acadian Thanks, its rather nice to be back. I do hope I'm able to move him out of his boyish... I want to say 'phase' but I don't really think one could call childhood a 'phase' so I'll just say; boyish-ness when the time comes (which may or may not be soon).

Grits Thanks. I like Argentil too, he's the only one of the characters based on an actual in game character whom I've roleplayed. Funny you should mention swordsmen.

mALX I know what you mean about Skyrim. biggrin.gif I love the game's lore, so I like to put it in my story (though I will be... bending it slightly in chapters to come). It's good to meet someone with a similiar sense of humour.

Chapter Seven: Swords And Stuff or To Be A Knight. Whichever Title You Happen To Find More Appropriate. Personally, I Prefer The Former For The Comical Value, But I Suppose Others Would Prefer The Latter. I Guess It's Kind Of More Fitting. I'm Rambling Now Though And This Title Has Stretched On For Long Enough. On With The Show.

Please hold while we try and get this disaster of a chapter fixed. Someone will be with you momentarily. While you wait, please consider typing "elevator music" into Google for some entertaining tunes!
Thank you for your patience.

Chapter Seven.

*******

Thwack
The sound of a wooden sword impacting into Lucius' body was familiar now. And so was the accompanying pain. It was like a thunder and lightening relationship, the strike and the pain. The lightening (sword) would strike first. Followed by the thunder (pain) which came a few seconds later, without fail, sometimes worse than the last.

Lucius and Karrod had convinced one of the other passengers, a man named Hector, to teach them how to use a sword. It was an effective, if painful and exhausting, way to pass time on the ship. The waves and whales had long ago lost their novelty value to Lucius.

His trainer, Hector, had come aboard the Necrom Burning at Northpoint. So far, he had revealed very little about himself, though Lucius thought he was a knight. When he first boarded the ship, the man was wearing armour and heraldry that could only be owned by a knight. Lucius did not recognize the coat of arms however, and Lucius liked to think he could name every coat of arms in High Rock as he had owned a book on the knightly orders of the Illiac Bay once, which meant that the knight was either not from High Rock or there had been a new order founded in the seven years since the book was printed.

Thud
Karrod's sword slammed into Lucius' shield this time, though his arm still throbbed. The Redguard was younger than Lucius (Lucius had turned ten only a few days ago, with little celebration) though he was definitely stronger. Lucius had only won a few of their bouts. Most of his victories were won through some sort of trick, the rest were blind luck.

One time, Lucius had feigned a broken arm, when Karrod had let his guard down Lucius struck at the Redguard's thigh and tapped him on the helm. When Lucius had attempted the same trick the next day, he received a bruised wrist for his troubles.

The pair had been beating each other with wooden swords for a few days now, almost everyday, weather and Argentil permitting. When they were with Argentil they learned about menial things such as history, Argentil's magic tutoring seemed to come less often and his attempt to bore his "students" to death seemed to be coming close to success. All the while, the Necrom Burning continued on her voyage, she was sailing on calm seas and taking on a lot of goods as she approached the rich trading ports of Morrowind.

Ouch, was all Lucius could think when he found himself lying face first on the ship's deck. Karrod had once again got the best of him.
"That's enough for now." Hector said as he hopped down from the barrel which he always sat upon while observing the boys lash out at each other. He always seemed to know what the boys were doing, even though he always had his nose in a book and rarely watched his pupils.
"Come over here you two." He said as he crouched down so as to be at eye level. Lucius dragged himself over to where Karrod was smugly standing.

"What does it take to be a great warrior?" Hector asked, looking between the two children. "Swords and… stuff." Lucius said. It was the first thing that popped into his mind. Hector told him what he thought of that answer with a disappointed stare.
"A warrior should be strong, of course and disciplined. You should not reveal your intentions to you enemy. Do not interrupt him while he is making his mistakes. Simply hit hard and hit fast. To be a warrior is a rather simple thing. To be a knight, however, is far more complicated." He paused and looked at his students, unsmiling. "It is not the sword that makes a knight, but the wielder of the sword. A knight is nothing without chivalry. To protect the weak and innocent is what it means to be a knight. It is better for a knight to die with honour than live without it." He looked into Lucius' eyes. "Honour, valour, compassion, fortitude, altruism, mercy, diligence, integrity among others. These are the virtues of the knight. For a knight to disregard these virtues is a sin in the eyes of both the Nine and all true knights."

Karrod looked confused by what Hector had said, perhaps because he did not understand the concept or perhaps he had no idea why Hector was speaking of knightly virtues. Lucius understood the former, but he too had no idea why the man was speaking of all things knightly.

Lucius and Karrod continued with their session after that, with Hector taking a more active role. He showed them various stances. Lucius felt that he was improving, while he still wasn't winning, he was lasting longer in their bouts and even managed to give Karrod one or two bruises.

mALX
I started reading, but my eyes are blurring (2:30 am) - coming back when I'm awake, lol. <3
mALX
*

QUOTE

Hector told him what he thought of that answer with a disappointed stare.


Love that line !!

Hector may have used too many big words there that confused Lucius, but the mystery of why he was seemed to intrigue both boys.

Love the last line - Lucius is not the biggest or strongest fighter, but he takes his small victories and keeps trying - really liking his character !! Awesome Write!
TheBrume
mALX Thanks, I remember teachers giving me that look when I was at school. biggrin.gif

Also, I've come to a realisation about Lucius' story. I haven't put any dates in. So, I'll tell you all now.

At the current point in the story, it is Suns Dawn 3E 413. Twenty years before the Oblivion Crisis, ten years before the events of Morrowind, four years before the end of Daggerfall, eight years after the start of Daggerfall and fourteen years after the events of Arena.

I think this really puts Tamriel into perspective; it's messed up. Six narrowly aborted world domination/destruction attempts in forty years? wacko.gif
mALX
QUOTE(TheBrume @ Jan 30 2012, 04:18 PM) *

mALX Thanks, I remember teachers giving me that look when I was at school. biggrin.gif

Also, I've come to a realisation about Lucius' story. I haven't put any dates in. So, I'll tell you all now.

At the current point in the story, it is Suns Dawn 3E 413. Twenty years before the Oblivion Crisis, ten years before the events of Morrowind, four years before the end of Daggerfall, eight years after the start of Daggerfall and fourteen years after the events of Arena.

I think this really puts Tamriel into perspective; it's messed up. Six narrowly aborted world domination/destruction attempts in forty years? wacko.gif



Can you post this in your first (original) post for the story, kind of add it at the bottom in case the readers want to glance at it to orient themselves sometime?
Acadian
Love the title, 'Swords and Stuff'. tongue.gif

A delightful transition to swordplay as the lads pass their time at sea. And under the tutelage of a knight, no less! I get the impression that some of the lessons and knightly words are sticking with Lucius. Clearly, Lucius’ interest (and hopefully, aptitude) lay more with steel than magic and lessons of history. He certainly demonstrates the persistence necessary.

Nit: ’It was a effective, if painful and exhausting, way to pass time on the ship.’
I’m sure you want to replace the bolded ‘a’ with ‘an’.
Fawkes
"“What does it take to be a great warrior?” Hector asked, looking between the two children. “Swords and… stuff.” Lucius said. It was the first thing that popped into his mind. Hector told him what he thought of that answer with a disappointed stare. "

Hehe I chuckled at this part, and I know how you feel, I know the disappointed look so well!

I also enjoyed the spar bit, can't wait for more biggrin.gif
TheBrume
Acadian Thanks. I have a suspicion that his persistence and interest in swords will serve him well in the future. No spoilers, of course.

Fawkes Thank you. There's more coming right up. I like your name by the way.

Also, I'm going to increase the number of updates a week to two because I've already written up to chapter fourteen and I don't want some sort of backlog forming. Update days will be tuesdays (I hate tuesdays, updating will be a brightspot on the day) and thursdays (I like tursdays, updating will make the day a littl brighter).

Chapter Eight: Pirates!
Sun's Dawn. 3E 414.

Lucius awoke with a start to the ringing sound of steel and the crashing of waves. His cabin was dimly illuminated by a small lantern hanging by the door. Father was not in the room alongside him and Lucius was overcome by the feeling of déjà vu. He jumped out of his hammock and began to get dressed, as he did so he heard several shouts coming from outside his door.

When he finally dressed himself, he prepared to leave his cabin, before he could move however, someone or something slammed into the cabin door, smashing through it.
The body of a Nord came into the room alongside the shattered remains of the wooden door, followed by a tall man in blood stained blue robes.

Lucius stared as the man lifted his gaze from the body up to Lucius. It was Argentil.
"Lucius." He said, Lucius nodded, though he knew it was not a question.
"Come with me, your father is down in the hold." Without another word, the man turned and exited the room, forcing Lucius to trail behind him.

The corridor outside the room was much better lit than Lucius' cabin, much more bloody too. There were bodies throughout the hallway, the floors (and walls and ceiling) were slick with blood and other fluids. The sight was too much for Lucius to bear and still keep hold of his supper, so he keeled over and added his own fluids to the hallway. "What… happened?" He managed to say in between his retching.

"Pirates." Argentil said. At that moment, as if to punctuate the sentence, two Redguards turned the corner at the end of the hall. The mage turned to face them, his legs spread apart, hands twitching. The Redguards approached him slowly, weapons at the ready. The first to attack was a shirtless, shoeless, frizzy, black-haired Redguard. He swung at Argentil's chest, swinging his axe diagonally. Argentil stepped back and the weapon embedded itself into one of the bodies on the ground. The pirate let go of his weapon and tried to turn and run, but his companion blocked his way in the narrow corridor. Argentil grabbed his shoulder, sending frost magic into the man, killing him. The other pirate fell backwards with his friend upon him and was quickly killed by a bolt from the mage's hand, obliterating his face.

"Come quickly." The Altmer said as he began to make his way down the corridor. Lucius had just begun to follow when the pair of them were thrown off their feet by an almighty crash. The entire ship seemed to shake as Lucius struggled to regain his feet. Argentil briskly walked up to him and pulled Lucius to his feet. "Quickly, we must get up on…" He paused and began staring at the wall. Lucius followed his gaze to a lantern, which he saw was slowly leaving it's upright position and tilting right, down the hallway. He saw a cutlass rolling along the ground too. Without a word, Argentil pulled Lucius along with him as he resumed his brisk pace.

"Where is my father?" Lucius asked, while noticing that the floor seemed to be tilting upwards.
"He is with the captain. Hurry." The mage said as he quickened his own pace.

As they were climbing the stairs to get up on deck, Lucius heard a bell ringing.
"Abandon ship! All hands, abandon ship!" a Breton woman with a northern accent was shouting. When he pulled himself onto the deck, Lucius saw that there was another ship adjacent to the Necrom Burning, on the right side. It's black sails were illuminated by the fires raging on both vessels, the night sky was given an orange glow. He also noticed that the other ship was sinking. It was going to pull them both down.

He saw his father leaning on the rails on the other side of the ship, holding a sheathed sword in one hand. "Lucius!" He cried when he saw him. Lucius ran towards him, forgetting Argentil. Before he could say anything, his father thrust a leather satchel into his arms. "Take this Lucius. There is a letter for you. And one for your uncle in Chorrol. Make sure you give it to him. I lo-" An explosion rocked the ship and caused it to continue list even further to the right. Lucius grabbed onto the railing, hung the satchel over his shoulder and craned his neck around to see what the cause of the conflagration was.

A black robed Nord was on the other ship, standing on a crate. He launched a spell at one of Necrom Burning's sailors as she tried to board the pirate ship. The bolt of frost stuck the sailor and encased her in ice. The woman plummeted down towards the sea and Lucius heard a splash. He caught sight of Argentil as he sent lightening towards the Nord. The lightening struck him, but seemed to have no effect other than cloak the man in a purple light. From what Lucius remembered from his lessons with Argentil, he guessed the man was using some sort of spell absorption enchantment. The man turned towards Argentil and threw a fireball at him, the Altmer leapt out of the way, and only just managed to reach safety. A large, smouldering hole was left in the deck where he once stood. The Nord on the other ship seemed to relax for a moment. He then stretched his arms out wide and shouted something. Lucius did not understand what he shouted, but he certainly heard it.

The Necrom Burning had been listing heavily to starboard as the pirate ship was pulling it down into the chilly Sea of Ghosts, it was becoming harder and harder to hold onto the rail. When the Nordic mage shouted, the first thing Lucius noticed was that the man, and the other ship, appeared to shrink in size. He then noticed that they were getting further away, not smaller, and that the Necrom Burning was being pushed away from the pirate ship at high speeds. Lucius saw several sailors who had not been holding onto something thrown from the ship. Lucius himself was clinging on for dear life. His grip was not tight enough however as he felt the ship strike something in the water, probably a cluster of rocks. He was thrown from the ship completely. He watched in horror as time seemed to slow down. He saw that the ship was flying through the air as it had been propelled upwards by the rocks it had hit. He saw that his father was no longer clinging onto the barrier where he once was. And he saw the Necrom spinning in mid air, the place which had been his home for weeks. It was ripped to pieces in mid-magic-propelled-flight. The strong Imperial Oak was no match against the waters and rocks and magic of Skyrim.

The last things Lucius felt before all went black was remorse for his lost home, followed by pain as he struck the freezing water and the blackness enveloped him.
Acadian
Wow! This was tense and wonderfully paced. A real nail biter! I fear for Lucius’ father and the boy’s friends on the ship that had been his home for some time now. Argentil, even little Hyna. sad.gif

Now Lucius must survive the icy water. Eeep! ohmy.gif

Talk about suspense! biggrin.gif

Grits
Oh no! Cast into the Sea of Ghosts!! Everything Lucius knows is lost again, and this time he’s separated from his father. I liked seeing Argentil engage in some badassery, instead of boring his pupils with history. Hopefully between Argentil and Hector, the Necrom’s youngsters learned enough to survive!
TheBrume
Acadian Thanks, I wasn't really sure that I had the right pace in that chapter.

Grits Well, let's just see.

Chapter Nine: Present From The Start
First Seed 3E 413

Lucius' eyes flicked open to the sound of somebody singing a song which he hadn't heard before. He could barely hear the words. His vision was hazy and his eyes hurt from the light. After a few moments, he opened his eyes just a little, he saw a plump woman with dark hair shuffling around the room within which he was lying on a rather comfortable bed. Upon closer inspection, the woman was a dark elf and she was the one who was singing, he could make out some of the lyrics.

What shall we do with Staff of Chaos?
What shall we do with Staff of Chaos?
What shall we do with Staff of Chaos,
When it is brought together?

Give it to a champion to save the Emperor,
Give it to a champion to save the Emperor,
Give it to a champion to save the Emperor,
Then he shall save our Empire!

Lucius tried to speak, in hopes of having the woman stop, but his words emerged as a hoarse croak, he found his throat was painfully dry. The woman did not have a bad voice, it was surprisingly deep, but Lucius didn't want to have to listen to her. She turned to look at him, she studied him for a moment, then burst into a wide smile.

Ho, ho and up he rises,
Ho, ho and up he rises,
Ho, ho and up he rises,
Early in the morning!

Lucius croaked again and the singing stopped. The woman kept smiling and ambled over to somewhere to Lucius' right, his eyes did not follow her. Instead, he scanned the room. It was quite warm and well lit, although plain. The walls were of a grey stone and the floors were a dark wood, clearly well walked upon.
His bed was a narrow thing, though wide enough for him to stretch his arms out a little, with cream coloured sheets. It was surprisingly comfortable. On his left was a shuttered window and a small brown chest of drawers. Ahead of him, Lucius could see some cabinets up against the wall. There was also a fireplace directly ahead of him, a nice fire was crackling away happily, no doubt it was the source of most of the heat and light. For the most part, the walls were unadorned except for a large black tapestry above the fireplace, emblazoned with a red dragon. The Imperial Dragon.
To Lucius' right, the woman was pouring a glass of water from a pewter flagon. A few feet behind her was the drab stone wall.

The woman was still smiling, occasionally she would let out a chuckle, it made Lucius feel quite uncomfortable, it was quite annoying. "Here you go Lucius." She said as she offered him the water, still smiling. He pushed himself into a sitting position with some difficulty. He was stiff and sore and, despite having apparently been unconscious for a few days, he felt tired. The woman helped him drink the clear, cool, refreshing water. He gulped it down eagerly and the cup was quickly emptied.

As the round woman was pouring a second cup, the door opened. "Lucius! You're awake." Argentil didn't sound particularly thrilled by the fact, he sounded mostly sad. "I… have some news for you. Bad news." Lucius braced himself for the blow. "Your father, Titus. He was lost at sea during the… wreck." The blow still hit Lucius hard. He didn't know what to say. The news didn't come as much of a surprise as would be expected, he had already known his only parent was dying, his racking cough had only gotten worse and he had had trouble standing on his bad leg, Lucius simply didn't want to acknowledge the fact. He wasn't surprised to find that he was crying either.

The mage began walking toward the bed. "I don't know if you recall but your father gave you a letter before he…" Argentil trailed off. "Here." He handed Lucius a leather satchel and withdrew back towards the door. Lucius simply sat and stared at the brown bag, tears running down his cheeks.

Eventually, slowly, he pulled a letter from the satchel. It did not look like it had been in the sea. "I had too rewrite it. The ink had run on the original." Argentil explained.
Lucius unfolded the paper. It read,

My son, Lucius.

I have long given up trying to convince myself that you would never read this. And though I'm sure you do not like it, you will have to finish this journey on your own. This journey began weeks ago, when the Orcs attacked, there is much I wish to tell you about the attack and the reasoning of the Orcs. Just know that the Orcs are not as they seem, do not hate them.

You must continue onwards to Chorrol. You won't be going alone however. Two men have agreed to accompany you, Argentil and Sir Hector. I once knew Hector, he was once a good friend to me and so he has agreed to escort you to Chorrol. I did not know the Altmer, but I trust him all the same. Be thankful to these two men Lucius, make sure you never forget what they have done for you.

I have not always been truthful to you Lucius, as you probably know, I am not a native of High Rock, you were told that I moved to High Rock to become a blacksmith and it is there I met your mother. This is a lie.
I feel as if you never truly knew me. For this I am sorry, but let me tell you who I am now.

I was born in Chorrol. My mother was a hand maid for the count, my father was a man-at-arms. One day, the count was attacked by bandits while out hunting. My father saved the count's life and was rewarded with a knighthood. Your uncle and I grew up to be squires in service to County Chorrol as part of the Knights of the Oak. You might remember your mother telling you stories about them, but it was so long ago. When we became knights your uncle and I… competed over you mother's affection. She was the daughter of a Baron, an overly proud man who thought we were unworthy for his daughter. When your mother began to show greater affection for me, your uncle grew jealous. He informed her father on us. We fled to High Rock. Your uncle followed us to Grimdale Moor and tried to kill me. I bested him in battle and sent him away. I have never spoken with him since, though I have learned that he as risen high in the ranks. I can only hope that he has forgiven me and will take you in.

I hope you will be brave for my passing and that you will live a long and happy life. Though I do not know what lies ahead for you, I still wish I could have been there to see it.

I must cut this letter short, there is much I have to say, but there is only so much ink and parchment on this ship I have but one more thing to tell you.
In Grimdale Moor, I hid a journal within a chest in the basement. It will explain everything, but do not seek it out until you are older. Even when you are fully grown, I would not blame you for forgetting all about it.


At the very bottom of the letter, Lucius' father had managed to squeeze in the words "I love you," before he had run out of space.

Lucius allowed the letter to fall down to his lap. He didn't want to touch it anymore, like it was the stove in the kitchen of Lucius' old home. Father had always warned him not to touch the stove. But, as the priest of Stendarr in the village said, "Curiosity killed the Khajit." He longed to be in his village once more, to touch the hot stove again and be scolded (both by the stove and by father) for it. He wanted to walk through the village's dirty disorderly streets between the jumbled buildings again. But he couldn't. He could touch any old stove and walk through any old street, but not his stove and street. Everything in Grimdale Moor was gone. Everyone too. The priest of Stendarr, all the mages, the secret necromancer who used to give Lucius apples in exchange for his silence, the weavers, the adventurers, the fletchers, the farmers, the shepherds and the hunters. Even father.
mALX
*

Sorry it took so long to get over here, 2012 is killing me for being a hectic year so far sad.gif

You did a perfect job of building the tension toward the end of the chapter, Awesome job. The whole section of the shipwreck was very powerfully written, but this line in particular was outstanding even above the rest:

QUOTE

Lucius saw several sailors who had not been holding onto something thrown from the ship. Lucius himself was clinging on for dear life. His grip was not tight enough however as he felt the ship strike something in the water, probably a cluster of rocks. He was thrown from the ship completely. He watched in horror as time seemed to slow down. He saw that the ship was flying through the air as it had been propelled upwards by the rocks it had hit. He saw that his father was no longer clinging onto the barrier where he once was.


Huge Write !!


***

Next chapter:

I pictured the melody of the song being "What do we do with a drunken sailor" (put him in the brig and make him drink it, blah blah blah).

The letter was so well done, (and I hope he goes to Chorrol !!) - but even better was the paragraph following. Comparing how he felt about the letter to not burning his hands on the stove - that was brilliant. You got his emotions across so clearly by that comparison - That was my fave part of this chapter.

You really pack a powerful punch at the ends of your chapters, that is a gift !!! Awesome Write !!


*
Acadian
This was beautifully done. The first part set the scene and let us know enough about the pirate attack aftermath.

The next part was, of course, dominated by that letter from Lucius’ father. And a magnificent job you did of writing it. So poignant, so realistic.

Finally, we see the reaction of young Lucius. It surely pulled at my heart to see him wishing he could go home. Back to being scolded for touching a hot stove.

So. . . Lucius' course is set for Chorrol it seems.

Wonderful, Brume!
Grits
The letter was great, I feel for Lucius’ father having to write it, knowing that he would not be there for him. The last paragraph was very moving. Argentil and Hector can teach him a lot and get him to Chorrol, but Lucius just wants to go home. sad.gif
jack cloudy
Well I hope that the uncle will be the friendly sort, but I've got the feeling he'll still be holding a grudge. Or that Father's reputation (and by extension his son's) has been thorougly ruined years ago.

I don't have much to add that hasn't already been said. Except for one tiny little nitpick. Way back in chapter three, Lucius reads a sign on the scamp's cage. But later on he claims he can't read. Now maybe he was just fooling Argentil, but I think he's a bit too young for such high-reaching acts of deception. More likely his Father read the sign for him when Lucius asked what that beast was.
TheBrume
mALX Yep, that was the melody I had in mind for it. wink.gif But, I didn't think I had written the ship wreck scene all that clearly, thanks for dispelling those doubts. smile.gif

Acadian Thank you. Why do you people always make me blush? tongue.gif

Grits Thanks. I don't feel that I've put enough into Lucius' father's personality. Originally, I was going to have him go missing in chapter one, then I pushed it back to chapter two, then I was going to have him die of infection... And now this.

jack cloudy Well, you'll find out in a few chapters tongue.gif . Lucius could read in chapter three and he did trick Argentil. I disagree about your assessment. Nine year olds can be rather tricky, especially in groups.

I think I've hit some kind of wall in my writing (I've written up to chapter seventeen), so updates might slow down a teeny tiny bit in the coming weeks.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one.


Chapter Ten: The Lord Advancing
First Seed 3E 413

After Lucius awoke, he spent three days in Fort Saltmoth while learning about what happened after he was thrown into the sea. He also learned that he had been unconscious for almost two weeks.

As it turned out, an Imperial Navy ship had been nearby when the Necrom Burning was attacked. The ship, which was called the Emperor Antiochus, saw the burning wreckage and managed to rescue some of the passengers and crew, unfortunately, Lucius' father was not among those clinging to pieces of wreckage in the freezing water. Lucius himself had been dragged onto a large piece of flotsam by a Bosmer woman. He had the opportunity to thank his rescuer. "Don't thank me." She had said, "Thank whatever poor sod won't be getting the piano they ordered."

Fort Saltmoth was an Imperial fort, situated where the river Thir met the Inner Sea, just across the water from Ebonheart. Lucius had wanted to explore the towers and fortifications of the fort, but the Imperial Legionnaires stopped him from straying too far. Being at Fort Saltmoth was Lucius' first experience of imperial authority, it seemed the Emperor rarely passed his gaze over Grimdale Moor. There had been a small Legion garrison in the foothills a few miles to the north of the village, but Orcs were common in that area so Lucius had never seen their outpost.

"High Rock," Argentil explained, "is a relatively secure Imperial province, the Emperor has little need to station Imperial ground forces there, of course, the Navy has a strong presence to deal with corsairs and the like, but otherwise there is little threat to the Empire's integrity there. The Dunmer are a proud people, they have a heathen religion and backwards customs. Despite their high level of autonomy, few of them submit to the Septims as readily as the Bretons."

All in all, Lucius was impressed by the fort, despite his grief. It stood out as a beacon of authority and it could be seen from miles away. It's tall granite towers thrust upwards above the alien trees of Morrowind. It's heavy woollen black and red imperial banners flew high above the ugly brown cloth things at the nearby village.

He was impressed by the Legionnaires too, they were clad in steel. A dark chest piece with two horses facing each other. Lucius didn't quite understand the design, he thought dragons would make more sense, but it looked nice. They marched and moved as one and all of them were strong and fierce.

Lucius spent much of his time thinking. He often thought about his parents, he often cried. He occasionally thought about his friends on the ship, but he never once asked about them as he feared what the answer would be. Though he hoped they had been among the many people who had survived, but had already left the fort.
Argentil and Hector spent their time in a room together, speaking in hushed (sometimes loud) tones. Lucius knew they were planning on how they should get to Chorrol. From what he managed to pick up, Hector wanted to go by land, across the Velothi mountains and through Cheydinhal. Lucius wasn't sure what Argentil wanted, but he assumed it was something magical.
In the end though, Hector won the argument and so, three days after Lucius woke up, they began their journey towards Cyrodiil.

Lucius was sat on a chair which had been placed in the harrowed out carapace of an enormous insect. Apart from Lucius, Hector and Argentil, there were few other passengers, a pair of Dunmer women who were seated at the rear end of the insect, known as a Silt Strider, and a fidgety Argonian who sat as far away from everyone else as possible. The interior of the carapace was spacious, it was high enough for Lucius to stand without hitting his head, though the same could not be said of Argentil. There were even a few holes in the chitinous shell to act as windows.

Lucius sat in silence, listening to Argentil prattle on about the history of Dark Elf magic. Hector was sleeping.
"In the two hundredth year of the third era, Olvis Drenalym discovered a way to turn iron into silver and silver into gold. Now, Olvis' island happened to be rich in iron, so he set his people to work. He began to get rather rich, of course, his actions had consequences, as the influx of silver into the markets caused prices to fall. To fix this, he turned the silver to gold. This, however, made the problem worse, causing the Great Monetary Collapse of 3E 215. The Imperial economy remained in shambles throughout the rest of the reign of Uriel IV and afterwards…"

Overall, the journey proved to be incredibly boring, the town of Balfalls came and went and the days crawled by.
It was four days before the Silt Strider reached it's destination. Four days which Lucius spent listening to Argentil go over history which he had probably told Lucius of before (there couldn't be that much of it, in his mind). When he wasn't listening, he was thinking. Thinking about his parents. His mother was dead, he knew that. But was his father? No body had ever been found. He promised himself he would look for his father one day, perhaps he would search after he reached Chorrol. Thinking about it brought sadness though. And sadness brought tears.
And the tears continued for hours at a time


"Loganstead." Argentil said as he sauntered down the stone ramp leading up to the giant insect. "Quite a strange town don't you think?" It was. There was a curious mix of Nordic, Imperial and Dunmeri architecture. Square plain brown stone houses sat next to elaborate wooden ones with carved animals on them. The Imperial Chapel with it's tall stone spire was placed right next to the chitinous shell structure of the Dunmer Temple. It was a strange town, but pretty in it's own way.
"They could have gone with a more consistent style, but I like this." The mage said as he began to walk towards a large stone building.
"Where are we going now?" Lucius asked and looked at Hector.
"Mages Guild." He said. "We shall be teleporting to Cheydinhal from here. It will shorten our journey considerably. Much safer than fending off troll attacks in the Velothis." He shot a look towards Hector, who did not meet his gaze.


The Altmer seemed happy as he entered the guild. When Lucius stepped through the threshold he was struck by dozens of strange smells. He could name none of them and he had only smelt a few before, he could not help but pinch his nose. Argentil walked up to a front desk, behind which a bored looking dark elf woman was staring into space.

"Hello." The woman said, monotonously. "Welcome to the Loganstead Mages Guild, the happiest place on Nirn." She stared at the three travellers, her gaze lingering on each of them for a few seconds before moving on.
"Yes, quite. Now, could you direct us to your guild guide please."
The woman lifted her left arm and pointed to her right. "Have a nice day." She sighed and returned to staring at her desk.

The trio came upon a small alcove with a large ring on the floor beside which an Argonian in green robes was standing. He stared at them, but said nothing.

"Now, will you be needing anything while we're here Hector?" Argentil turned and asked. Hector was silent for a moment. "Yes. I'll meet you back here in a few minutes." At that, he turned and moved to another part of the guild.
"Stay here Lucius, I'm going to buy a few books. The journey to Chorrol is a long one and you'll need something to entertain yourself with."

So Lucius was left on his own with nobody but the unblinking Argonian for company. Lucius waited and tried to whistle (he quickly gave up and began humming instead) while studying the walls. They were whitewashed with a few tapestries for decoration. The tapestries were of the birthsigns, Lucius was drawn to his own sign, The Lord. He remembered an old song his mother used to sing to him, and began to hum the tune.

Strong, the Warrior charges,
The Steed prancing,
The Lord advancing,
The Lady dancing,
Through the night.

Wise, the Mage orders,
The Apprentice learning,
The Ritual turning,
The Atronach burning,
Through the night.

Clever, the Thief watches,
The Lover sighing,
The Shadow lying,
The Tower defying,
Through the night.


Just as he finished humming, both Hector and Argentil returned from whatever they were doing. "Ready?" Argentil asked, "Good."

"You there," he said to the Argonian. "I would like to pay for three people to get to Cheydinhal please." The Argonian nodded and took the offered coins. Hector was the first to stand on the ring, he disappeared in a flash of blue light.
"Give him time to get off the panel Lucius." Argentil said, holding his shoulder "We wouldn't want you to end up inside of him." After a few moments Argentil tapped him on the back and Lucius strode forward.
The sensation of teleporting was like nothing else Lucius had ever experienced. He could not move his limbs, but he felt like he was being thrown a great distance. He vomited a few seconds before the feeling ended.

He appeared in the Cheydinhal Mages Guild with a flash of blue light. He stumbled forward and fell to his knees. When he looked up he saw his breakfast all over the room he was in. The petite Imperial woman who had been standing closest to the ring was covered in vomit, she was shaking and after a few moments, started to scream in disgust.

"Oh my…" He heard Argentil say as he appeared behind him.

*******
mALX
This chapter was touching from beginning to end! Lucius was endearing, your writing so clearly brought visuals of every scene from his grief, the Silt-Rider ride, waiting in the room with the Argonian and singing that song - all of it. AWESOME Write !!!

The song, did you make that up? AWESOME !!!

Then the end - that had me rolling laughing !! Absolutely wonderful chapter !!!!!
Acadian
Some nice additional details, very naturally delivered, about what happened to the ship and where Lucius found himself. Loved the background on the fort and Empire, the hints of argument between Hector and Argentil and the Silt Strider ride/scenic tour and history lesson.

I had to smile at your depiction of the Dunmeri lass that welcomed our party to the ‘happiest place on Nirn’.

The song was fabulous for a couple reasons. First, it was clever as can be - well done! Secondly, what a lovely and natural way of sharing Lucius’ birthsign with us.

Poor Lucius. As mALX would say, “Bless his heart.” Throwing up is not the best way to make friends in a new place. As Argentil wisely said, “Oh my.” Welcome to Cyrodiil! tongue.gif


Nits:
'Lucius sat in silence, listen to Argentil prattle on about the history of Dark Elf magic.'
I think you want ‘listening’ here.
'He remembered an song his mother used to sing to him, and began to hum the tune.'
And here, you want ‘a’ song.
Grits
Oh my indeed. What a way to introduce himself to Cyrodiil!

Lucius sat in silence, listening to Argentil prattle on about the history of Dark Elf magic. Hector was sleeping.

This is just what we would expect from the three of them! smile.gif

I really enjoyed this chapter. You gave such a clear picture of Lucius’ state of mind, alternating between grief and boredom. It seems very natural that he was impressed by the soldiers. I also like the touches of humor. And then the spew! ohmy.gif Poor Lucius.

Also, That song was great!!
TheBrume
mALX Thank you wub.gif As for the song, no I did not make it up, I only dragged it from my memory tongue.gif . I think it was in either Redguard or Daggerfall.

Acadian Thanks but, as I say, I did not create the song. I'm proud of myself for remembering it though.

Grits Thank you again.

Chapter Eleven: The Smell of Roast Duck in the Evening
First Seed 3E 413

Lucius sat on the grass, legs crossed beneath him, watching the ducks paddle around the lake, quacking contentedly in the early evening light. He himself was far from content, he was nervous about what lay ahead for him, both long term and short term.

He, Hector and Argentil had made camp not far from the blue road (the reasons it had for being called the blue road still eluded Lucius) by a small lake. Argentil was wading through the water picking water hyacinths, to the quacking complaints of nearby ducks. Lucius wasn’t quite sure where Hector was, though he assumed he was tending to the campfire.

They had left Cheydinhal rather quickly after the mess Lucius had made, they had simply purchased new clothes and provisions and been on their way. Lucius doubted he would be welcome at that particular branch of the mages guild and they hadn‘t been allowed to travel to Chorrol from there after the incident. As for why they couldn’t have simply travelled to Chorrol from Morrowind, Argentil had explained that teleportation between provinces was restricted to border cities.

Lucius flinched as he heard the frightened quacking of the ducks and the splashing of water. “I have our dinner.” Hector said, holding one of the birds in his left hand.


Lucius watched sadly as the once happy duck was being roasted above the fire. He tried not to think about it.
“What will happen to me in Chorrol, Hector?” Lucius asked the man as he was turning the duck, trying to cook it evenly.
Hector looked up at him. “I imagine that your uncle will take you in. Beyond that, I cannot say.”
Lucius knew the man was withholding something. “Integrity.” He said simply, quoting one of the knightly virtues which Hector had once told him. Though he didn’t quite know what the word meant, he thought it had something to do with truth.
Hector looked up once again and smiled.
“The boy knows how to get his way.” Argentil chuckled, not lifting his nose from his book. The fire sparked, as if it were chuckling too.

Hector let out a sigh. “Your uncle will take you in and, though I cannot be certain, I believe you may become an apprentice squire.” He paused and sighed. “Your uncle has a firm understanding of justice and honour and so he will not turn you away. Though he will probably make you join the Knights of the Oak. You are ten now yes? Most children in Cyrodiil become apprentice squires at that age and so this will be an appropriate occupation for you.”
Somehow, Lucius was not surprised, but he had concerns anyway. “I don’t know anything about being a knight.”

Hector tilted his head. “No? Your father told me you enjoyed such stories. And I’ve already told you what it means to be a knight. True, you don’t know everything. But why do you think your father asked me to escort you to Chorrol? He knew you would become a knight, he also knew that he could not teach you.”

Argentil was confused too. “How did he know?”
Hector waved Argentil off. "I am unsure, but he wrote to me weeks before the village was attacked. That is why I boarded the ship.”
"How did you know Titus?" Argentil probed.
"We were friends." His shifted his eyes down to the fire. "I would rather not speak of it." He returned his gaze to Lucius. “No more of this. I will tell you of knightly things after dinner.”


Lucius had not wanted to eat the duck. And he said so to Argentil as he carved the bird up, but his stomach had argued with him. Loudly. So he ended up eating the meat anyway. It tasted good.
True to his word, Hector began telling him about knightly orders.

“There are around a dozen knightly orders in Cyrodiil. One for each major city, except Cheydinhal, as well as a few others.” Hector was walking around the camp, stretching his legs while Lucius sat on a tree stump by the fire. The smell of roast duck still filled the air.

“The first you should know about are the Knights of the Oak. They were created by the first Count of Chorrol… I forget his name.”
“Kantus Jeril, Hero of Pale Pass.” Argentil reminded him.
“Yes. Thank you, mage." Hector looked less than grateful. "Now, Count Jeril established the order in… order to keep rule of law in the region. Their aims and duties haven’t really changed since then. They are the third largest order of Cyrodiil, after the Knights of the Tower and the Knights of the Wolf. Their seal is the oak tree of Chorrol, white on a blue field.”

Hector continued like that for a few hours, telling Lucius about the corruptness of the Knights of the Tower, the laziness of the Knights of the Blackwood, the nobility of the Knights of the Stag and the collapse of the Knights of the White Stallion. Eventually though, Lucius fell asleep while Hector was arguing with Argentil about the history of the Knights of the Temple. He dreamed dreams of a white horse riding across a long bridge and slept soundly, under the dark blue Cyrodiilic sky.
Grits
You create such vivid images here, I really enjoyed this mostly fireside episode. I love the way you describe Argentil wading around picking water hyacinths. It’s something I do all the time in the game with a click, but you brought it to life. smile.gif


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