to be honest I'm not proud of this story I wrote, I picked a difficult direction and theme which is the relationship between children and step parents. it's very difficult to find dramatic life events to serve the theme so it might be really dull. Today we had peer reviews but nobody said a word about the story itself, all I got was some gramatical corrections and so on. I would appreciate if anyone could tell me how he thinks about the story.

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Johanna’s Birthday

Sharon sat in front of the TV with her daughter Johanna. It was almost 6 o’clock in a Friday evening; supper was on the table, and her husband Bobby would be home soon.

Johanna was a little quiet today. She was watching her favorite TV series, featuring a front line hospital during the Korean War, but her mind seemed to be elsewhere. Sharon ran her fingers through Johanna’s long red hair, and started braiding them. She wondered what was lingering in her daughter’s mind. She had been wondering about it more and more often in the past few years. Johanna was almost thirteen, and she began to have her own secrets. She waited patiently for Johanna to confide in her.

The sound of a car door being shut reminded Sharon that Bobby was back. She opened the door for him, and went to fix the plates. Bobby took off his greasy jacket, and went straight into the laundry room to put on clean clothes.

“I’m getting you a new jacket this weekend.” Sharon examined the holes on the jacket’s elbows.

“Nah, I’ve had it for six years, kept me warm pretty good.” Said Bobby’s muffled voice from the laundry room, “I like it. If you get me a new one, it’ll be the same in three days.”

When Bobby returned to the living room, Sharon had already got her plates and silverwares set up. “Joey, go get daddy some drink.” She said to her daughter.

“Oh, it’s alright, I’ll get it. Country fried steak, ain’t it?” Bobby stood next to the dinner table, and broke off a piece of steak with his fork.

“Yeah, I got a new recipe from Mrs. Edmund today. How is it?”

“Ain’t bad. Mrs. Edmund? Is she from your school?” Bobby grabbed a glass from the freezer, and mixed a can of Miller with some tomato juice.

“Yeah, she teaches German. Her son’s in my chore class.”

Bobby nodded, and took a sip at the beer. “Joey, come sit down and eat.”

The family ate their dinner quietly. Sharon mixed her mashed potatoes with the baked beans, which was her favorite substitute for gravy. She looked at Bobby: he was raking in food like he hadn’t eaten all day long. She was glad that the dinner fit his taste, for it was quite challenging to do so. Johanna still seemed a little anxious; she was stabbing at the beans and skewering them on the teeth of her fork. Sharon planned to have a talk with her after dinner.

“How was work, Bobby?” Sharon broke the silence.

“Good, I guess. Somebody’s got a blown engine over yonder on a brand new car, might take us a whole week to fix it. Them rich fellers need to learn how to drive.”

“The kids are pretty wild nowadays, too,” said Sharon, “a couple of weeks ago some student wrecked his car on the way to school. I heard he and his buddies were racing.”

“That’s ‘cause the Driver’s Ed ain’t doing their jobs. Joey, when you start driving, you’d better open your eyes and watch out for them. How was your school? Anybody’s been messing with you?”

Johanna didn’t answer directly. “Mom,” she said, “it’s my birthday next weekend.”

“I know, sweetie. Daddy and I are taking you to the theme park, remember?”

“May I ask for something else than going to the theme park?” Johanna stared at her plate, as though afraid of seeing her parents’ reaction.

“Sure. But it’s winter right now, you know, not a lot of places are open.”

Johanna was silent for a few seconds. “I want to invite my real dad to visit me on my birthday.”

Sharon knew it wasn’t going to be an easy one. Bobby stopped eating, his lips moved as though wanted to say something, but he turned to Sharon instead.

“Well, sweetie,” said Sharon, “he lives very far from here, it’s not practical for him to come over.”

“But he’s my father! A father doesn’t want to travel to see his own daughter?”

“He has his own family too, sweetie.”

“I don’t care. I’m almost thirteen years old, and I haven’t even seen my own father!”

“Joey, it’s not that we don’t want you to see him, but it’s kind of hard to arrange the meeting, since he lives so far away.”

“Why can’t we just invite him to the house? He won’t do anything – he’s just my dad!”

Sharon didn’t know how to reply. The past between the family and Johanna’s father was sore, but Sharon never told Johanna about it – she didn’t want her to know what he did to the family. She does want a reunion between her ex-husband and daughter, but not only was she afraid of him bringing disturbance to the family, she also worried about how Bobby would feel.

“Joey,” said Sharon finally, “just let mom and dad take some time to think about it, ok?”


Later on at night, when Sharon was reading in the bed, Bobby came in with a medical report. He had washed off the dust and grease and put on his pajama, but it could not hide the exhaustion from a long day of work.

“You got it today, Sharon?”

“Yeah.”

“How is the baby?” Bobby sat next to Sharon and handed her the report, “I don’t know what those terms mean.”

“It’s prenatal diagnosis, it checks for birth defects and diseases. Our baby is very healthy, Bobby.” Sharon smiled and looked at him, “do you want to feel it?”

Bobby leaned next to Sharon with his ear against her belly, and listened. His neatly trimmed, shoulder-length blond hair brushed her and made her chuckle like a child. She swept them away, and there, she saw a few new strands of white hair. It’s about time for him to build a family, she thought.
Suddenly Bobby raised his head, “I think it’s kicking me.”

“Then you’d better be nice!” Sharon joked.

“Well, wasn’t I always nice to the young’ns?” Bobby seemed a little disappointed, “I ain’t never been able to get along with kids, you know. They just don’t like me and think I’m dumb or something.”

“I’m sure Joey likes you, Bobby.”

He smiled wryly, “I don’t think so. If she liked me why would she keep calling me a grease monkey, and keep asking to see her real dad? Maybe it’s because I didn’t go to college and get a good job.”

“She was only eight when she said that! You know how eight-year olds are. And Bobby, you are doing really well with your career, much better than many of my classmates.”

“But still... It’s been six years, Sharon. She still ain’t talking to me about anything. To be honest, Sharon, I... I kinda feel left out, you know, it just doesn’t feel like my family. Well I don’t mind it but, she never even called me dad.”

Sharon was not surprised. She had felt, for quite a while, that there seemed to be a boundary, an invisible wall, between Bobby and the rest of the family. She could not identify its cause, but she hoped the new child could bring him more security and warmth of home. Sharon put her arm around his shoulder gently, “it’ll all be fine, Bobby, just let time do its work.”

A few moments of silence followed, Sharon pondered about how to start the discussion on Johanna’s request.

“Bobby, do you remember what Joey said today?” She decided to go straight on topic.
“Yeah. Are you going to let him come over?”

“No. I can’t do that. But I don’t know how to explain to her.”

“Maybe we should tell her everything.”

“No. It would be too much for her to handle,” said Sharon, “how would you feel if you suddenly found out you had a dad like that?”

“I know. And I still can’t stand meeting him, Sharon,” Bobby lay down in the bed, “I’ll never forget how he abandoned you when you were pregnant with Joey, and when we were dating came back and tried to take you away.”

“I remember that, Bobby. But it’s just that...” she paused for a while, “somehow I don’t feel like to turn her down this time. She has grown up.”

“It’s late,” she added, “let’s just sleep and worry about it later.”

Two days later in the afternoon, Sharon was cleaning the house. Johanna went shopping with her friends, and Bobby was helping his parents cutting firewood at their house. Sharon inserted a CD of classical guitar music, and filled the living room with pleasant melodies. Having taught music in a high school for over ten years, the subject had become part of her life. Unlike others who listen to music in accord with their mood, she used music to shape her feeling, and keep herself happy with everything she does. Johanna inherited the same talent from her; after teaching her piano for a few years, she was already able to play by ear. While being proud of her family tradition, however, Sharon had the feeling that it could be a reason why Bobby felt left out. It would be great, she thought, if he and Joey share some common interest.

The door opened when Sharon was deep in her thought. It was Bobby, in a camouflage cover-all with bits of wood all over his arms. He stood by the door, as though afraid of staining the cleaned floor.

“Sharon,” he said, “can you help me unloading the wood?”

“Coming.” She picked up a jacket and a pair of old gloves, and followed him out.

Bobby parked his truck next to the garage where the firewood is stored, climbed into the trunk and started handing Sharon the logs. She put on her gloves to protect her hand from the splinters, and stacked the logs neatly along the wall.

“We got enough wood for the next three weeks, don’t you think?” Bobby commented.

“Guess so. It might be snowing next week.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. It aint’going to burn if you don’t pick them up before they get wet.”

When they finished the thin logs and began unloading the large chunks, Bobby offered to switch position with Sharon since they were heavy. Sharon wanted to decline at first, but changed her mind after realizing that accepting his assistance could help him feeling more confident.

“You know what, Sharon,” said Bobby while stacking the wood, “I think I’m going to invite Joey’s dad to her birthday. She needs to meet him.”

“Really?” Sharon was astonished by his decision, “That’s very nice of you, but I don’t want you to feel awkward if he comes.”

“I’ll be OK, Sharon.” he said, “actually, I dropped by mamao’s today and talked to her about it. She was like, Bobby, you are taking things too seriously. It’s been six years since it all happened and you should just let it go. So I guess we can’t let it bother us any more, and one day Joey’s going to find out anyway. I think it’s better to forgive him now than, you know, hate him forever.”

Sharon felt the strength he brought to her with his bravery. “I’m so proud of you, honey,” she smiled gracefully.


Johanna’s birthday was on the following Saturday. Sharon got up early in the morning and went shopping with Johanna. They bought a birthday cake and some food for the dinner, and then stopped by the mall to get Johanna a present. Around noon, when they were hungry, they ordered a meal at the mall’s food court.
“Mom, do you think my dad will come today?” Johanna asked.

“I hope so, sweetie, we sent the letter on Monday so he should have got it already.”

“How far does he live from here?”

“About two and half hours of driving.”

“Mom, if he doesn’t come today, does it mean he doesn’t care about me?”

“Of course not, he could be busy with something, and it was a short notice anyway. If he couldn’t come this time, we’ll invite him again later.”

After a few seconds of silence, Johanna asked again: “Mom, can you tell me what he looks like?”

Sharon smiled, and did her best to describe his appearance, even though they hadn’t seen each other for six years. Johanna seemed satisfied with the fact that her father looked a lot like her, and also a little nervous about the meeting itself too. Would it turn out to be a pleasant memory for Johanna? Sharon couldn’t tell. She only knew that the day would be a turning point for the family.

After lunch they went to browse the toy stores, where Johanna picked a set of Meccano as her present. She first saw it a few weeks ago in a friend’s house, and fell in love with it.


When they returned home at about 2pm, Bobby just finished working on his 1970 Dodge Charger, and was trying to wash off the grease on his hands in the kitchen sink. Though it hadn’t been taken to the road for many years due to the high insurance rate, he kept it as a hobby and installed many visual and performance enhancements on it.

“Finally got the new dashboard fixed on that baby,” said Bobby, “I think he would like to take a look at it. He likes the old classics too doesn’t he?”

“He did. He used to own one of those Pontiac GTO’s made in the 60’s.”

“Bobby, we saw a car just like yours,” said Johanna, “it passed our car like we weren’t even moving.”

“Are you sure it was a charger?”

“I don’t know, it’s got two long and flat taillights.”

“Sounds like it. Don’t worry Joey, maybe one day we’ll beat him with mine. What did mom get you for birthday?”

Johanna opened the shopping bag and handed him her new toy. When Bobby figured out what it was, he laughed like an excited child. “Trying to become a mechanic, Joey?” He read the descriptions on the box, “it’s got some weird parts in it. Motors, battery boxes, plastic belts... Made in China... Well, I can’t say it ain’t good, but it’s definitely not the same as the original ones. When did you start getting into this, Joey? I thought you only liked music and dancing.”

“I saw it in Josh’s house. He built a huge crane on a caterpillar truck. I thought it was really cool.”

“You know what, I’ve got a full set of old fashioned Meccano in your grandma’s house, it’s not like these plastic things; they are all metal. I’ll go there and get it, and maybe we can build a Charger with it.”

“Can we make it run with these motors?”

“Of course we can,” said Bobby confidently, “we’ll just have to find some thick rubber bands ‘cause I don’t think these plastic belts will fit. I’ll be right back.”

Sharon was quite amazed by the conversation between her daughter and her husband. It seemed like they finally found something in common, and perhaps it was when they began to get along. With the cheerful thought in mind, she began preparing dinner.

Bobby returned shortly with a dusty wooden box. He set it on the floor and examined every piece of metal strips, plates and pulleys, as though recalling the memory of old times. When he realized that the dirty box had stained the carpet, he smiled at Sharon in apology.

“Man, haven’t touched them for almost twenty years.” Bobby exclaimed. After showing Johanna how the pulleys work and how metal pieces are held together with the bolts and nuts, he began drawing the design on a large piece of paper, with every unit labeled and illustrated. Johanna watched him in awe; it was her first time to witness Bobby’s true talent.

Time flew by, and it was already dinner time. Sharon kept the BBQ chicken warm in the oven and had the side dishes already on the table, but their guest still hadn’t shown up yet.

“Maybe he got stuck in the traffic,” said Sharon, “I think we should wait for another hour.”

“Yea, it wouldn’t be nice of us if we make him drive hours just to miss the dinner,” Bobby added.

The family sat on the couch and watched TV. It was showing Johanna’s favorite series featuring the frontline hospital in the Korean War, but Bobby and Sharon were both enjoying it as well. Johanna made comments about the two-seat utility helicopter shown in the intro, and Bobby explained to her about its usage and safety issues. Seeing the family immersed in tranquility and harmony, Sharon felt it had been her happiest day since many years.


The next morning, Sharon woke up early, and found the world covered in white, like the frosting on a giant cake. Johanna’s father did not show up the evening before. It was apparently because of the snow, she thought. The snow scene looked nice for an early morning walk. She wrapped herself up in warm clothes and opened the door, and there, on the door step, was a small gift box almost covered up by the snow.