((Well, here it is. Yet another story. I hope you enjoy it!))

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Prologue

"Look, Razien, this has gone too far. We've turned a blind eye to your activities. I even had to threaten to ban Kail to stop him from reporting you to the University." Rielle said, trying not to look at the undead specimen in the corner. "How did you require the parts to make this... abomination, anyways?" Rielle questioned, accusingly.

Razien's eyes narrowed, he was trembling with anger, "Are you accusing me of murder, listen you..." he was interrupted.

"I have accused you of nothing, but your reaction implies you do not wish to tell me the truth." Rielle said calmly. They stood there for a few moments, staring eachother down.

Razien spoke first, "So, if you are here to ban me from the Guild, get on with it."

"I am not here to ban you from the Guild, unless I must. I am here to inquire as to why you are doing this, why do you make these..." he glanced once again at the mess of flesh and bone in the corner, "abominations." she finished quietly.

"We have no respect here!" Raziel spit out, pointing out of the window to the city of Rihad in the west, as the Hammerfell sun started to dissapear behind the city walls, "Our Brethren shun us like rabid dogs! They have no respect for magic, they do not understand the power it can bring! I am tired of following the laws of a society that we don't belong to!" he finished, certain they could hear him all the way in Sentinel.

Rielle sighed, she shook her head, in anguish for her brother and his power-craze. The two mages by the door got tense, certain that Raziel could strike at any moment in his madness.

"Razien, I understand your anger. The riot was certainly uncalled for, as were the killings. But that is no reason to break the code of the only people that understand us." she was reffering to the Mages Guild and the Unversity.

"That's just the thing!" he hit a table, the two mages behind Rielle reached for their blades, only stopped by her hand raising, calling them off. "They don't understand us! They don't have to go through the same things we do! In Cyrodil they are not only accepted into society, but revered. Yet we are treated like criminals and outcasts! They," he pointed to Rihad, "kill us off like plagued rats! They act as if we are the only thing holding society back, yet we only wish to move it forward!", he sighed, this anger was something he had never felt before, a burning desire to kill every citizen of Hammerfell. His eyes threatened to drop tears, he stifled them. Tears are for the weak he though, hardening his heart further.

Rielle tried to reason with him, make him see the logic of her words, "There are ways to make them see the truth other than fighting and death." she glanced once again at the abomination. She allowed the tears to fall, and went in to hug her brother. He stopped her, looking into her eyes. She had never seen this before, his eyes were those of a madman! When she looked into them she saw nothing but fire and death. Hatred for society itself, hatred strong enough to kill that entire society. The thing that worries me is that he may have the means to do so she thought, a shiver running down her spine. The only members of the Guild more powerful than him in Hammerfell were Xan and... her thoughts stopped. The memories rushed back to her, she could hold them back no longer...

Three years earlier...

Xan and Razien both started to unsheath their blades. "No." Minlo said calmly. They reluctantly let go of their weapons. "This will tide over." he said, not really believing it himself. He looked into the crowd, seeing their blades and torches. "Why do they do this?" he asked himself quietly.

"Because they are fools." Razien answered. A small fireball appearing in his hand, it dissapeared in seconds. Minlo really hoped the crowd had not seen that. The five of them faced the crowd, alone. Minlo looked back to see his wife running towards him. He almost broke down as the two men he had hired to get her to safety in Bruma picked her up by the arms and dragged her to the caravan. "Goodbye, love." he whispered, wishing she could hear it. He looked to his left at Xan and Ramos.

Xan had always been a powerful one. The most powerful mage in all of Hammerfell, perphaps. Xan was also the only one given any access into society, as he was a battlemage, a higher status than pure mages in Rihad. He would have made a great leader in the University in Cyrodil had he agreed to leave a month ago. He could be in safety, in the grand halls of Archmaster Traven. Instead he decided to stay in Rihad with the only people he had ever trusted. Minlo sighed. That might have been a lethal mistake for the boy.

His eyes wandered over to Ramos. Ramos was a troublemaker, but all in good fun. He was constantly playing pranks on Rielle and Razien. In fact he had known them since he was born. His family left him at the steps of the Mages Guild only days after he was born. He had been born under the sign of the Mage. A sign of disgrace in Hammerfell. He wasn't incredibly powerful, but he was cunning and smart. Characteristics cherished in the Mages Guild. He had never asked much about his real parents, he didn't seem to care. "They don't care enough to keep me for more than a few days they don't even deserve my acknowledgement of their existance." he had told Minlo on his thirteenth birthday, one of the few times Minlo had brought the subject up. Minlo couldn't help but grin. But that grin turned into a scowl. A scowl at the crowd. How could they even think about killing this boy. Such a fun-loving attitidute was sorely needed in Rihad.

He then looked to his left at Rielle and Razien, his only children. They had refused to go to the Imperial City with their mother. Instead they made a brave, and foolish, decision to stay with their father and defend their Guild Hall. Something he wished they hadn't chosen to do.

Rielle was incredibly nice and thoughtful given the way society treated her. She always stopped to help someone, even if they didn't want it, "I would never accept help from your kind!" they would say with a spit in her direction. She also was showing alot of potential in the art of Restoration, and Minlo expected the University would have invited her next year. It was a shame she might not make it that far.

His eyes landed on his only son, Razien. Razien was an exceedingly good student, in the arts of Illusion and Fire he had no equal. At least not in Hammerfell. He was also very brash, and at times made mistakes that only fueled the fire of hatred coming from the citizens of Rihad towards the Guild. There had been an incident where two Fighers Guild mercenaries started making remarks about Razien's family. They had nearly been burnt to a crisp had Xan not appeared to stop him. Once again, Menlo sighed. He feared this incident may drive his son to doing stupid things. Things that might cause the fall of Razien.

His thoughts focused back onto the crowd, which had grown increasingly in size. "Disgusting." he remarked with a snarl as the body of Carmic was lifted above the heads of the rioters. He wondered where the Watch were, Probably in the crowd... he thought angrily. He glanced at Xan, afraid he might do something foolish as his brothers corpse was mistreated so. But Xan just stared blankly at the crowd, seeming not to notice. A useful skill that was, stifling ones emotions. Menlo and learned that it may also be dangerous. An individual with bottled rage could burst, causing more pain to themself than anything else.

The crowd started chanting something that Menlo couldn't understand. He watched as a Redguard in adamantium armor (with a sword to match) came forward. He recognized this Redguard as Rolan the Magekiller. He was famed for killing the 'renegade wizards' of Elinhir. It was well-known that he had been paid to frame and kill them by the mayor of Elinhir. He couldn't help but hate this man for his bigotry and biases. A man who had dedicated his life to killing innocents, and revered for it. Minlo felt like weeping for the people of Hammerfell for their foolishness, if only they understood how mislead they were.

Rolan stepped between the crowd and the Mages. "I will not allow you to hurt these people!" he shouted. The crowd cheered. Minlo felt like throwing up. Xan and Razien both stepped forward, until they were only a few yards from Rolan. "Oh no..." Minlo said, rushing forward with Rielle and Ramos in close pursuit.

From this range Minlo could see the smile of Rolan, the smile of a killer. Rolan unsheathed his blade, and raising it in the air.

"No more of these games." Razien said, drawing his own blade, the ebony once again caught Minlo's gaze. This blade was Razien's most prized possesion, which he had won in an honorable duel to the death (of course, the citizens of Rihad did not see it as honorable, they claimed he had used his tricks and cheated). Minlo focused his mind once again.

Rolan rushed forward towards Razien, his blade raised. The crowd roared. This was just a show to them, Minlo could no longer contain his anger. He cast a quick spell meant to steal the enchantments from the armor of Rolan. He found the enchantments in the armor quite hypocritical, but the citizens of Hammerfell simply remarked "Fight fire with fire."

Unfortunantly, he had never known quite what those enchantments were. He gasped for air as the magicka left him. He had always marveled at how much mages truly relied on magicka, they subconsciously used it to do everything, including breathing. He started choking, and collapsed to the ground. He forced himself to breath, slowly feeling his strength come back. He looked up to see Rielle casting spells of Restoration upon him.

The blades of Razien and Rolan met, and Razien suddenly felt the same effects as his father, as he collapsed to the ground, gasping for air. Rolan went in for the killing blow, only for his blade to be met by that of Xan's. Xan was practiced in living without magic, and did not rely on it as the others.

His left fist met with Rolan's exposed chest. Rolan staggered back, trying to regain the breath that had been knocked out of him. As Rolan's eyes came back into focus he saw Xan's blade going for his neck, and Ramos' blade going for his stomach. He parried Xan's attack with his blade, and blocked Ramos' attack with his bracer.

A huge dent appeared in Rolan's left arm, and he howled in pain. The crowd let out a cry of despair, and some of them rushed forward, only to change their mind when several of them fell to the floor.

Minlo's breath escaped him once again, it had taken all of his remaining strength to cast that spell, and he fell to the ground once again. Rielle was now getting Razien to his feet, who had fire in his eyes.

Rolan was busy trying to evade the attacks of Xan and Ramos. He was now limited to using one hand, and was certain he would not be able to parry effectively with only one hand gripping his large claymore. Suddenly a sword hit the back of his helmet, he staggered forward, turning to see Razien raising his blade once again. He fell to the ground, his instincts telling him Xan and Ramos were also bringing their blades in behind him. He was right, in the confusion Ramos and Razien had hit each other's blades. Xan stepped on Rolan's right arm, crushing it, once again Rolan cried out in pain, and the crowd cried out in anguish, but made no actions.

Minlo expected to see Xan's blade come crashing down on the killer of his brother. Instead it was Razien's blade that crashed down on Rolan's chest, killing him.

Minlo cried out, to no avail, his voice only made a croaking sound. The crowd could no longer hold back, all of them surged forward in a furious rage. Xan and Ramos took Razien up by his arms started to flee for the gate. Rielle lifted her father onto her shoulders and did the same. The crowd was gaining on them, and quickly. Minlo knew what he had to do.

"Rielle, put me down." he said, his voice weak.
"No." she replied sternly.
"Rielle, you know I must do this." he said in a voice of sorrow.

She started to sob. The crowd was getting very close, about fifty yards now, it would only take them seconds to reach their position at this pace. She place him down, and as her hand left his he mouthed the words 'I'm sorry.' and turned to face the crowd.

Back to present

Rielle felt reality come back to her. Her gaze was still upon her brother's cold, dark eyes. She felt a lump in her throat, angry at the crowd for doing this to her brother, to her, to everyone.

They had made it to this 'renegade' camp of mages who claimed alleigance to the Mages Guild. The shack they were in now was far from the encampment, not too far east from Rihad. He claimed it had been abandoned, but it didn't look so. She glanced again at the creature in the corner, wondering if that had been the owner of this place, and shuddered.

Razien had resorted to Necromancy, something not accepted even by the camp of 'renegades'. That was probably why he had 'found' this place. And she had come to put an end to it.

"Brother," she began, "you must put an end to this madness. Corpses will not solve our problems, only diplomacy can restore us to Rihad."

He laughed, a laugh Rielle had never heard before, "Dear sister, I do not wish to rejoin Rihad." he was grinning a grin she had also never seen before, "I wish simply to crush it."

Tears started streaming down her face, "I cannot let you do that, Razien." she said, coolly.

Razien's own face hardened, "So even my own sister is against me." he said, mostly to himself. "No matter." he said louder.

He glanced over at the creature he had created in the corner. Rielle was confused for a few seconds, "Ramos!" she shouted suddenly.

Ramos turned to see a steel arm of the creature coming for his head, the blow connected, knocking him unconscious.

Both Xan and Rielle drew their blades. Rielle was thrown into a wall by her brother, who suddenly dissapeared. Xan's swing hit nothing, an invisible fist connected with his head. Razien opened up with a flurry of slashes to Xan's chest, cutting him several times.

Xan's knees hit the floor, and he started to cough up blood. "Goodbye, old friend." the now-visible Razien said, as his blade tore through Xan's neck.

Rielle had just finished burning down Razien's creation. Shame he thought, that steel-coated mess of flesh and bones had been hard to create.

Razien and Rielle dropped into battle-ready positions...

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OOC: Well, like I said, this was only a prologue. Constructive criticism is GREATLY appreciated before I start the first chapter.

This story will have plenty of twists, revalations, and surprises. My first shot at some REAL writing. I hope you enjoy it!

Ten views and no replies, is it really that terrible?

No it isn't bad it's just that it seems to have slowed down alot around here in way of replies lately, don't get discouraged, just keep going.

This is really an excellent story! Please, continue. I really like your description.

Always interesting to see an unsympathetic main character- although Razien certainly has some justification. Good back-story to tell us some of how he got to where he is...

One confusion for me- he and Rielle have that long dicussion about how he feels that they are persecuted for being "different." What is unclear is in what way they are different. Maybe sometimes I just need to be hit with a board to get it but.... something like-

"You know how these people feel about [mages, Dunmer, cute fluffy bunnies (whichever one fits)]! They treat us like scum."

That's one example of a way to work a significant detail in without interrupting the flow of the story.

He was referring to the way Redguards regarded mages I think. Redguards generally regard mages as cowardly scum which don't have the stones to fight like a man and from what I understood from the text, Razien is a Redguard.

I think Griff is right... mages are not realy the bravest when it comes to battle (when not being able to use magic that is)... anyway this looks like great story in progress and it has certanly captured my attention and admiration... I will be looking foward to updates... and by the way why wasnt Razien cast out of the guild before... I thought that you wrote that this was not the first time Razien had created a abomination... never the less you truly deserve Kudos so...

Kudos Feslin... Kudos